Anxiety to the “New Me”: The True Story of Lucy

Copyright © 2013 Islande Jean Louis.

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ISBN: 978-1-4582-1159-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4582-1161-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4582-1160-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013916591

Abbott Press rev. date: 09/11/13

Table of Contents

Dedication

Disclaimer

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

—Serenity prayer

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my ten-year-old son, Girard (Gigi) Jocelyn, who is the greatest blessing of my life. Gigi, I want to tell you how my heart is bursting with praises to God. Since I have you, what else do I need in the world? You are what I need. God, who loves me as well as you do, is my strength. I’m happy watching you grow up slowly but surely. Charming and kind, you are the pride of the family.

This book is also dedicated to Anderson Mabout, who is everything to me.

Disclaimer

This book is based on a true story. No real names have been used.

Acknowledgments

Thanks to Ronald Dabardy for suggesting the title of this book.

Thanks to my dad, Marcel Jean Louis, who has always given me all kinds of help in my life.

Thanks to Dr. Luc Raymond, who has always given me moral support.

Beaucoup d’amour to my friend Josephine Beyalla, who always supports me in her prayers.

Thanks to Beauvoir Blanc, who always wishes me the best for my life.

Thanks to my friend Shaun Braxton, who listened to my ideas and always gave me good advice.

Thanks to Sandra and Lionel for their incredible role in this book project.

Thanks to my partner Eliezard Dessalines for all his wonderful generosity.

Thanks to my best friend Citerne Nickenson, who always brightens my days.

I must thank Nicole Papa, who believes in what I do and promises to support it. Nicole always wishes me the best for my life.

Thank you to Irene Morgane. Irene is a smart woman and a great reader. Since she is retired, she reads as many as a dozen books every month. But, she still was waiting for my work to be done so she could read it.

A special thanks to Dennis Simpson, who was the first person to take this book idea to heart. He encouraged me to make this happen. Dennis has never been anything less than a generous gentleman. He has a superhuman sense of humor and is full of enthusiastic encouragement. Dennis as a nurse is delightful, urbane, folksy, intelligent. He is both an ironman and a past master, and truly an admirable man.

I’d like to share some profound truths from Janinia Mezie, my co-worker at House of Good Shepherd. She’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Her words have confidence; she embodies the words I love you to everybody she meets. Janinia always says good things about her husband. They live in Pennsylvania with their three children: two boys and a sweet little baby girl. God bless their hearts.

When you listen to Janinia’s mild voice quietly telling you to forgive whoever hurts you, you learn from her how to let go. When she says, Let go, it’s like hearing the words of someone in authority, but someone who is loving and knows how to talk to his subordinates. It makes me let go and behave like a child who listens to his parents. Janinia is not only a coworker; she’s also a friend and an example. I watched her carefully as she spoke these blessed words to me:

When you are overwhelmed, have the strength to go on and believe that it’s possible to move forward in life. No matter what your grief is, expect that one day your sadness will be replaced by something beautiful. Sometimes circumstances beyond your control take you to a new level in life.

What matters in life is what you believe and how you face things around you. It isn’t hard for God to change somebody’s life. Be of good courage, love your fellow human beings, and treat people the way you would love to be treated, knowing God changes everything in one’s life. Before gold becomes shiny, it goes through a lot of processes. You can compare that to what we human beings go through. Making yourself stronger than you were sometimes makes you shine, the way gold shines.

Many times, when faced with some difficulty, we question God. We ask, Why has this happened to me, God? When you say, Why me? who else do you expect to be in those shoes? That’s why you should let the will of God take place. He knows the best, he knows the worst, he knows the beginning to the end.

God knew what would happen in your life before you were even born. He feels compassion for those who live day by day. God has pity for all such people who don’t know their right hand from the left.

When someone you trusted betrays you, don’t feel bad or upset. That can bring you to another level of life experience. Do not hesitate to use it as a testimony. As the proverb says, Any disappointment in life can bring you to a blessing. Compare this to what God says in Matthew 5:43–48:

You have heard that it was said, you shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy; but I said to you, Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be son of your father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors, do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your father in heaven is perfect.

This prayer will help you go forward in life without looking back, and I want to tell you… [Here Janinia paused, thinking about the best words to use.] You’ll become brilliant, and your life will always be like a beginning of a beautiful day. Always thank God for giving you strength to turn any bad memory to a forever-cherished one.

Impressed by the rare quality of her words, I smiled softly and remained silent, contemplating what she had said. My heart filled with thanks. I hope you are blessed by her words as well.

Anxiety to the

New Me

Based on a true story

An unexpected turn will often put tears in your eyes.

Introduction

At times this book will comfort you, challenge you to think about your own past, and let you know that sometimes dangerous mysteries happen. You may find yourself relating to this story at many points.

I’ll tell you what I have learned: A person has to face up to difficulty. You never solve anything by avoiding experience. You can’t ignore reality forever. Sooner or later, reality catches up with you. No one can fix your life. You must change it on your own.

All of us have memories of home. When asked about home, we often remember the houses we grew up in, the neighbors next door, the kids we grew up with, the punishments from our parents, the schools we were in, the creek or lake or woods, and the traditions and customs we explored as a child.

Lucy’s story begins with her home. She plays tag and dolls across the street from her house, like many kids do. The neighborhood was filled with boys and girls playing, fun in the backyards and the playground, and people sitting in the streets eating peanuts and telling stories.

So the story will unfold, about a woman who is challenged by love and thinks she will never love again. When she closes her eyes and thinks about everything that happened in her life, she can hear the sounds. She is so fragile, she would break like an egg if dropped to the ground. That is part of her mystery.

Lucy’s story has a special poignancy; it will take you to a whole new world. It’s going to be one of the most exciting stories you’ll ever read. You’ll not only hear it, you’ll be deeply moved by it. Something about that fact makes the story all the more vibrant, and you’ll find it impossible to put this book down. Besides the grief, there’s love and encouragement. This powerful story will hold you captive until the very end. The story of Lucy¾you and your neighbors should gather in circle to hear it.

This is a story about a young woman growing up in her native country. As a young girl, she goes through traumatizing situations that shape her future. Her world is filled with the unexpected. She is like a human chess piece encircled and captured by the players. She survives danger after danger. Lucy becomes shipwrecked from the terrible issues she experienced. When she is in trouble, she finds comfort and strength from God. When she thinks there is no escape, she calls out to the Lord.

Everyone and everything in this world serves a purpose. At the time things happen to her, Lucy does not comprehend their meaning; but believe me¾she learns her lesson. Her mistreatment in so many different circumstances leads to her broken heart. But the lesson Lucy learns is to get her heart in tune and care about what is real. In this story, you will learn her journey from anxiety to hope, from fear to realizing her dreams.

—Islande Jean Louis

Chapter 1

Lucy grew up in a big house with a big garden in her family’s island country.

One day in 1979, when she was six years old, Lucy’s mom let her play outside in the late afternoon. Lucy went to the front yard to play with the other girls. All the girls wore short skirts and sleeveless T-shirts. Some of the girls were jumping rope, and a group of boys were shooting marbles. Many ran around wildly chasing each other. Some of them sat down on the ground, and many boys dribbled balls up and down, passing them off to one another. Most of them were laughing. It was a wonderful, peaceful afternoon.

Way off in the distance down the block, Lucy saw her friend Kelly rolling in the grass with a balloon. She wanted to play with Kelly, so she started to run over. Kelly saw her coming and hid for a moment behind a large tree to surprise her.

Suddenly Kelly’s mom Alice called, Kelly! Kelly!

Kelly didn’t answer because she was hiding from Lucy and didn’t want to be found yet.

Kelly? Alice asked.

Kelly narrowed her eyes at her mother and tried to make her be quiet.

I don’t get it. What is it? said Alice.

Knowing Lucy was getting closer, Kelly refused to move. She opened her mouth to say something silently, and put her finger to her lips.

Alice saw the look on Kelly’s face and didn’t understand. Kelly still wouldn’t move.

You are scaring me, said Alice. Stop being silly; cut it out.

But Lucy was still coming.

Kelly tapped her finger against her lips and shook her head at her mom.

Are you hiding something? Alice demanded. That’s enough. I want you to stop it right now.

As Lucy got closer, Kelly muttered in a tiny voice to her mom. Lucy took a step closer, but Alice didn’t see her.

Come on, Alice shouted at Kelly.

Lucy was now very close. Alice took a step backward, toward Lucy without knowing it. Lucy tried to stay out of her way, but it was too late. Alice bumped into her. Alice shrieked. You could see the fear on her face.

You scared me to death, girls! she shouted. When I saw Kelly acting strangely, I couldn’t figure it out.

That was just for fun, Kelly explained. I wanted to see if I could scare Lucy.

Alice, a little angry, made Kelly come inside and wouldn’t let her play with Lucy. So Lucy turned around to go back to the children near to her house.

On her way, she saw the three older boys that everyone knew drank too much and had grown up on the streets. She tried to walk quickly past them, but they approached her. They were about sixteen years old. Their eyes were glazed, and they had scary faces.

Lucy’s hair suddenly stood on end as she became frightened. The boys looked at each other and seemed to have the same idea.

They had been trying to drink away their pain and hunger and now were walking around the neighborhood to find food after drinking. Then they saw Lucy, who looked like a little girl who hadn’t missed a meal. They followed her for a while, joking amongst themselves how they should beat her up for looking so well-fed and happy.

Lucy kept walking, as fast as she could. The boys were very closer to her now. One of them tried to pull her back. She brushed him off and ran. This just angered them. They hurried after her. She could hear one yelling angrily at her as she ran toward the big trees, thinking she could hide. What she forgot is that the forest would hide them all from the neighborhood. If I take the shorter way home, they might catch me, she thought. But she was already running, her eyes wide with terror.

When she turned around to make sure she was safe, she realized they were gaining on her. She knelt down by big dead tree roots as they overtook her. One glanced back at the others, and they pulled on her. She resisted, so they pulled her harder. One raced to her side while another knelt down. They began to choke her. She uttered a sharp cry. Please don’t! But this made them laugh. They were enjoying mistreating her. One grabbed her right arm, another grabbed her left. They lifted her like a piece of paper.

In their drunken, angry, hungry state, the boys’ joke took a sudden ugly turn. They threatened to abduct Lucy to satisfy their hunger even more.

Let’s kill her quick, one said to the others.

She raised her hands to her face. Leave me alone! she wailed, her expression taut with terror.

Shut your mouth, another said.

One of the boys began shaking her head, but that didn’t calm her down. They tied a scarf tightly around her mouth. She trembled all over and couldn’t fight them. They started to kick her with their sneakered feet.

One of them, who was really decent, looked a little scared as he softly said, Hey guys, that’s enough. You don’t know how serious this could be.

The other drunken boys refused to give up.

What’s the big deal? Maybe you’ll change your mind, one said brusquely.

You know what? he replied. Don’t take your anger out on her.

Now you are getting on my nerves, the other said. I will not hesitate to kill you and then kill her.

The eyes of the boy who protested changed from brown to red, but he was also persistent. Guys, is it really the best idea to kill her? he asked again.

Can you stop talking? another asked.

One pointed his finger at the other and asked him to choke her. You could see his wicked grin. He rubbed his palms together eagerly.

Yeah, I guess, the other replied.

Why don’t we bring her back where she was? the decent one suggested.

Quiet, the other two said in unison.

There was an open oil drum in the forest in which they tried to dump her. Lucy forced herself not to move and closed her eyes.

With lightning temper, the boy who had protested said, I don’t know what’s on your minds, but the simple thing to do is leave her here. Let’s look for fun somewhere else.

Are you trying to scare us? one of the others said.

I’m not trying to scare you guys! We were drinking just to have fun, but I think you started losing it.

Lucy started to move, but one still jerked her. Hey! Stop moving around so much. He smacked her head, giving her a bloody nose and a black eye. She pinched her eyes shut.

The decent guy blinked and took a step closer and reached for Lucy’s arm. Let go of her.

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