Zara: Love and Second Chances

Prologue

"From what I’ve gathered, you’ve been divorced for five years and even before that, you didn’t have much of a marriage.

Zara winced, Jada’s statement sounded so harsh but it was true. Jada continued.

Your daughter came to me because her marriage is on the rocks. I listened to her and this is what I’ve deduced. She doesn’t know what being married is about. Do you know why?

The question didn’t require an answer.

She has never seen a marriage work. You may have felt you shielded her or that she was oblivious to all that was going on between you two. Sorry to burst your bubble, she wasn’t. She saw both of you struggle, she doesn’t know how to handle conflicts in marriage and now she’s faced with issues that seem insurmountable to her.

Zara didn’t like the way this conversation was going. She had thought that by staying with Aden until Richessa got married, she had demonstrated her desperation to give her daughter something she didn’t have; two parents under the same roof. She couldn’t believe that despite all the hardship she had endured in her marriage, she had still failed. Zara steeled herself, she wasn’t going to cry. She would not give Aden the satisfaction of seeing how badly he had hurt her.

Aden had mixed feelings of shame and anguish. He knew he hadn’t treated Zara right but that was because he hated the marriage and had not been ready for it. He was so mortified that his own daughter knew that he had repeatedly cheated on her mother.

Zara found her voice first.

Is there a way out of all this?

Jada hesitated, studying the two people before her.

I don’t know if you are ready for the solution to this problem, both of you don’t seem like you want to hear it.

Zara could hear her heartbeat in her ears. Aden mentally blocked his ears.

Both of you have a history of broken marriages in your families; Zara, your mother moved out of the house, your grandfather left your grandmother and your father cheated on your mother. Aden, your father and grandfather married two times. Your lineage on both sides has no idea of what a wholesome marriage looks like.

Please get to the point! Aden interrupted.

Jada smiled and continued, unhurried.

I’ll get there but it’s important you know the consequences of your actions and decisions you have made. You will continue to have a history of broken marriages unless someone stops the cycle. If there’s any hope of that happening, it starts with you.

By that you mean? Zara asked. She wanted to be sure she was hearing right.

If Richessa’s marriage is going to work out and if you want to see happy marriages in your family’s future, then we need to prove that a marriage can work in your family. The ball starts with you. Your marriage working is the key for your generations to come.

Five Years Earlier

Chapter 1

Aden had not spared any money to ensure that their residence suited his taste. It was located in the highbrow area of Jordan which was made naturally beautiful with the parks, greenery and beaches that dotted that part of town. She remembered clearly the day Aden had shown her the plan for the house. She had insisted it was too big for them, after all, they had just one child; they didn’t need a mansion! But Aden had refused; he could afford it, so why couldn’t they have it! The floors were built with marble and every room was decorated by Saphira’s Designs. It hadn’t mattered to Zara that Saphira was the best interior designer in Templer and that she had decorated the homes of celebrities’ for years. Whatever she thought was inconsequential, Aden had stopped listening to her a long time ago.

She had watched as the masterpiece she lived in was put together from scratch and rubble and turned into a classic work of art. The grounds of the mansion had lovely manicured lawns, a swimming pool and a tennis court. There was a Jacuzzi in every bathroom. The ground floor had a large living room decorated with the finest rugs and paintings available. Aden had a media room where he had all types of electronic gadgets installed even for a film production. Here, he spent time with his friends when they came to visit. There was also a large dining room for entertaining guests and a smaller one where they shared meals as a family but she could not remember the last time that happened. Aden rarely slept at home and her daughter, Richessa, was away at college. She came home during the weekends but they preferred to eat in the kitchen. The kitchen was large enough to cook for a restaurant. It was well equipped to cook for the parties which Aden insisted they hosted from time to time. The second floor housed the bedrooms, study room and a well-equipped library. The third floor had the gym, which was so well insulated that you couldn’t hear any sound from it. Just behind the house was the basketball pitch. Zara was gifted in the arts and in design but she lost interest in these a long time ago. That part of her died when she realized she would never be able to make Aden happy. Her major had been Arts and Design in college but she never graduated. Despite all the splendor, she was exposed to; she had lived a miserable life with Aden. Thankfully, Richessa had graduated top of her class with a degree in economics from college and that was why this was the best time to make her exit.

Zara could not believe that twenty-one years of marriage to Aden was over. What did she have to show for those years, but pain, sorrow and bitterness? Nothing! Looking from the outside, she had a life most women would die for. Aden was a successful lawyer. Thinking about Aden’s job, she laughed bitterly to herself. What had she expected? Aden was a divorce lawyer. As a matter of fact, he was the best in Jordan. What made her think her marriage had any chance when she was married to someone who helped others get a divorce in the simplest possible way as he put it? She had let him know her reservations about this but he had laughed at her. Naïve! He called her. What was wrong in divorce? He had asked. Sometimes when a marriage is not working, it is time to let each other go and face the future. His job was to make that process simple, he had said. If she had a chance to start all over again, Aden Whitmore would not be a part of her life!

She finished the tour she was making around the house, trying not to think anymore of the mess that her life had become. She went up to her bedroom ignoring the maid that asked if she would like some juice. Sitting in front of the mirror, she refused to give in to the tears that had become a constant companion over the years. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she looked nothing like the twenty year old that had married Aden. She looked a lot older than her age. She had bags under her eyes. Her black hair had lost its shine. She had become careless over the years and had put on some unwanted weight which Aden never ceased to remind her of, but she had lost the will to do anything about it. She had always been a simple person but in the last few years, she had completely stopped bothering about herself and how she looked. Her eyes were sad and her emotions were in turmoil. She had lost friendships and had become a loner. Simply put, she had stopped living. She did not recognize the Zara that looked back at her from the mirror. She looked nothing like her name. Her grandmother had given her that name which meant flowering in bloom. She had stopped flowering!

Several times over the years, she had gone down memory lane trying to find out where she had gone wrong. What could she have done differently to avoid the life of misery she had lived so far? Time and time again, she had come to the same spot. The day everything changed was the day she had neglected her grandmother’s advice and believed what her friends had to say to her. She had listened to their lies that sex before marriage was nothing significantly different from sex after marriage. After all, she and Aden loved each other and planned to get married, they reasoned. She had been stupid enough to believe them that sex wasn’t such a big issue in the power dynamics of a relationship.

Her mother died when she was seven. Her father remarried and their relationship had never been close. She spent a lot of time with her grandmother whom she loved dearly and it was her who taught her anything meaningful that she knew, that was until she went to college and made new friends.

Aden looked exactly like what his name meant; handsome! He was popular in school and it was a privilege to be noticed by him. He was the captain of the college football team and the head of his fraternity. He was every lady’s dream!

She still remembered very clearly the day he spoke to her for the first time. She was with friends at the cafeteria. In his usual self-assured way, he asked if he could join them. She had been very shy and unable to meet his gaze, but her friends made him comfortable. All through the meal, she felt him looking at her but could not bring her face to meet his. He caught up with her after lectures and they started dating. Maybe it was because he gave her the kind of attention she had craved from her father who never had time for her or it could have been because he complimented her and made her feel good about herself, she wasn’t quite sure. All she knew was that Aden became her knight in shining armour and she was ready to do anything to keep him.

Three months down the line, Aden started asking for more than friendship. He wanted sex. She rebuffed him in subtle ways trying hard not to hurt his ego. She had heard Aden was sleeping around but so far she had not caught him in the act. She confronted him once about it but he denied it. A part of her wanted to believe him even though she felt he was lying.

In spite of her refusals, he became more persistent and she got desperate. She felt she needed to do something fast so she asked for advice from her friends. They were surprised that she had kept Aden waiting for so long. They told her she was sending him into other girls’ arms and that there was nothing wrong with sleeping with Aden. Even then, she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

One of the words of wisdom her Nana had consistently used was; Never sell yourself cheap Zara, no man deserves to see you naked until there’s a ring on your finger. The best gift you can give your husband on your wedding night is a body that has never being touched by a man. She had believed her Nana, but all that changed when she saw Aden holding hands with a girl and it didn’t look platonic. He was looking so longingly at her as if he wanted to eat her up. There and then, Zara made up her mind, if Aden wanted sex, he was going to have it; she wasn’t going to lose him because she was a prude.

Next to her Nana, Aden seemed like the best thing to have happened to her. He gave her the attention she had been deprived of as a child, listened to her and was interested in her dreams. He was always there, encouraging her to be the best she could be. If she lost him, she wouldn’t know how she would survive.

She had gone to a lingerie shop and bought the sexiest piece she could find. Then she went to a beauty shop and had facials, a manicure and a pedicure. Later that evening in her room, before she could change her mind, she called Aden and asked if she could spend the night at his place. She could hear the surprise in his voice. He had been asking for this for months. He had sounded so excited on the phone. He picked her up that evening and she had never forgotten that night! She gave herself to him unreservedly and they were at it for most of the night. But when Aden fell asleep, she let the tears fall freely. She had given up the only thing she held dear just for this. It could have waited and it hurt her that she had to give it up just like this! That was just the beginning and after that day, there was no stopping them; even when she caught him red handed with other girls, he always came back on his knees telling her she was the one he loved and that the other girls didn’t matter. Foolishly, she believed him.

Now, twenty one years later, she hadn’t stopped asking herself how she could have been so blind! How could she have believed all his lies? The signs were all there. He did not know what it meant to be faithful. He was used to having his way and always had a crowd of girls on his trail. She had been needy and in dire need of a father’s love, so she turned a blind eye to all his faults even when she had the opportunity to get out; all because she didn’t want to be alone. But being alone was a lot better than living like this! It was better to be single and alone than to be married and be terribly lonely.

She had done all she knew to do to make this marriage work. She had given up a lot: college, her dreams and her love of art. She had tried to work on herself but gave up when she realized she was in this marriage alone. What was it that Nana used to say? She used to quote a lot of which she said she got from the Bible. Zara tried to remember a particular one; the words were a bit vague. Finally it came to her; "If the foundation is wrongly laid, what can the righteous do? Nana said it was in the Psalms.

That was exactly what had happened to her and to Aden; their marriage foundation was faulty. They had gone into it for all the wrong reasons. Back then, it seemed like she had no choice, but during all these years, she realized that she had her options. She had just refused to take them. It would have been difficult and very tough but she and Richessa would have survived. Life would have been better than what it was now and even her Nana would have given her support before she died. She would still have her dignity, her self-esteem and a sense of wellbeing. To be true to herself, she could say now that Aden’s feelings for her died when he realized they had to get married. He loved Richessa deeply but somewhere in him, he still blamed her for being the reason he was tied down too early. Her life had changed completely when she found out that she was pregnant.

Now after all these years, after she had tried all she knew how to do, she was finally giving up. She had decided she would wait for Richessa’s wedding and after that, it would be over. She would move out of the house. She would just keep appearances until their daughter began her life with Shane and then they could tell the whole world the truth; their marriage had failed! With all her heart, she wished Richessa the best in her marriage. She wasn’t sure she had been the most terrific mother to her. She had tried to shield her from all the troubles she had with Aden when she was younger, but as she grew older, that became difficult. The only thing she and Aden had in common was that they loved their daughter dearly and were both ready to give an arm and a leg if it would make her happy. That was why she decided that the best time to move out of the house was after Richessa’s wedding.

Aden had graciously offered her the house but she had declined. She didn’t want anything that reminded her of him. She wanted a fresh start. This was what she should have done years before. However, she got a fair settlement; she kept her car which was the latest Mercedes Benz model, and a sizeable amount of money, enough to buy her a cute little house on the outskirts of Jordan and some upkeep for a number of years. Aden could give her more and he offered her more, but she didn’t want to be obligated to him.

Her new home was ready to move into. She had decorated the house to her taste, not Saphira’s and definitely not Aden’s either, it was hers. She loved the feeling she got when she was in her own home. It felt good to have something that was truly hers and not anyone else’s.

Present Day

Chapter 2

Richessa stared at the counselor in front of her wondering whether she understood clearly what she was saying.

‘Jada, you can’t possibly be serious. Do you mean what you’re saying?"

The elderly lady looked at her sympathetically. She felt her pain but there was no going back on the truth.

Unfortunately I do. The problem with your marriage with Shane goes beyond yourself.

And you’re saying one way to deal with my marriage with Shane is revisit my parents’ marriage. Richessa asked

Jada shook her head with a sad look on her face.

I didn’t say one way. I said the only way.

Richessa just stared speechless. Jada reached out and took her hand.

I’m going to try explaining this to you even though it may sound extraordinary, but let’s start by asking a few questions. There are many other counselors you could have gone to but you decided to come to me. Why was that?

Richessa wondered the purpose of the questions because she had given her answers to these questions before. What good would they achieve? Reluctantly, she decided to indulge Jada. Jada was in her fifties, but you couldn’t tell. She was petite and pretty. She had been married for thirty years and had made the marriage thing work and marriage was the reason why she was seeing a counselor.

"Shane and I had another argument about adopting. He seemed ready to go on with