The P.U.R.E. Man: His Purity Is Far Beyond "Black and White"

© 2013 by Rica R. Jones, MBA. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 08/09/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4817-7467-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4817-7468-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013914295

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Contents

Acknowledgements

The Empowered Woman

Introduction

Part One:

Letter to Myself

o   Chapter 1 The Women’s Forum Exposed

o   Chapter 2 The Age of Self-Discovery

o   Chapter 3 My Journey… Who is Held Accountable?

Part Two:

Letter from Mom

o   Chapter 4 The Power of a Word

o   Chapter 5 A P.U.R.E. Man Protects, Provides, and Prays

o   Chapter 6 The P.U.R.E. Man Understands, Unveils, and Unifies

o   Chapter 7 A P.U.R.E. Man Respects, Responds, and Relates

o   Chapter 8 A P.U.R.E. Man Embraces, Encourages, and Enlightens

Part Three:

Letter from Dad

o   Chapter 9 Misconceptions about the P.U.R.E. Man

o   Chapter 10 Creating Options Where Are All the P.U.R.E. Men Hiding?

o   Chapter 11 How to Become His Option. How to Become a P.U.R.E. Woman.

o   Chapter 12 In the Meantime…

o   Chapter 13 You Have Options: Now What? (How to Choose Among the P.U.R.E. Men)

o   Chapter 14 What if a Man Falls Short in Either of the P.U.R.E. Areas?

o   Chapter 15 Holding On to the P.U.R.E. Man

o   Chapter 16 What I Want Women to Know

Conclusion

Special Dedication to My Angel…

In Loving Memory

A Still Small Voice

This book is dedicated to my mother, my father, and my son, Khilen DeAl. Thank you all for molding me into the woman and mother I have become.

Acknowledgements

To the Mighty Almighty God, thank you for your hand and favor upon my life. All my glory, honor, and praise are due to YOU! You are my sufficiency and the reason this dream has become a reality. Thank you, Lord! To my left rib and my right rib, my parents, thank you! Mom, for the many sleepless nights I sat up writing while you tried to stay awake to keep me company, the finished product is finally here and now we can both get some sleep. Thank you for your strength. Through the great heartache you endured, you are truly my phenomenal woman. Dad, the numerous times I needed help with Khilen so I could finish a chapter, you were always willing to keep him for me. Thank you for your dedication. You have also endured struggles, but always get back up. After long days and nights that you all worked, the two of you still found time and did not hesitate to step in and help me finish my book. Thank you both for instilling the love and peace of God within me. To my son Khilen, thank you for always being there to root Mommy on. Thank you for your continued patience during the times I was not able to dedicate extra play time to you—now you see why Mommy could not play the game of LIFE—I was busy laying the foundation for the start of our new LIFE. You are the reason I have stayed in the ring and continued to fight to endure life’s race. Your future is so bright and promising. Thank you for always being my strong baby and taking care of me. To my grandparents, thank you for continually providing that Word of Wisdom. Your relationship exemplifies that of a P.U.R.E. man and a P.U.R.E. woman. To my brother Carlos (Tony), thank you for being my protector. I will truly always be baby girl. To my cousin who has been the sister I never had, Shamill, thank you for always having my back and being that listening ear when I needed it. To my aunts and uncles, thank you for the hand you lent to help my parents raise me. To my cousins and friends, thank you for your continued support from childhood. To my nephews and nieces, thank you for the inspiration of your lives—for your drive—your striving to become the men and women God is calling you to be. To my RARE JEWELS Essence, Joslyn, Monica, and Mynesha, thank you for allowing me to be a part of your lives to help protect your innocence and be the best mentor I can be. To my best friend, cousin, and sister Tamika Mimi Myers, thank you for your strength and your peace that consistently pushed me to keep going. To my dear friend Shasta Jenkins, thank you for the positive pressure you put on me. You would not allow me to sit idle without completing this book—I made you wait a few weeks longer for the actual release, but it was well worth it—you will see. To two of my special cousins, Jori and Shannon, thank you for the inspiration of the poem The Empowered Woman and for recognizing me as such. You all made this journey easier from the thoughtfulness and appreciation you showed. To my mentor, coach, and girlfriend Jennifer Smith-Tardy, thank you for helping me bring this dream alive—from our first session to our last session, you shared the most wonderful insight and ideas for The P.U.R.E. Man. You have truly been an inspiration. To the women who participated in the Women’s Forum (Alicia, Bianca, Enchante, Gretchen, Jennifer, Shante, Shamill, Shasta, Sherretta, Shirlyn, and Tracey), thank you for sharing your insight and experiences with me. I truly gathered a wealth of knowledge from each and every one of you. To my editor, Debra Christian, thank you for the countless hours you spent reading over every section of my book to ensure every word and phrase was grammatically error-free. To my graphic designer, Erica Rae (ER—Multimedia), thank you for all of your wonderful creativity and ideas in helping to bring my book cover to life. You were there at the drop of a hat when I needed your service. To my publisher, Author House, thank you for your valued interest in wanting The P.U.R.E. Man to be part of your amazing book collection. To my supporters, thank you for investing in my and Khilen’s future. I am forever grateful that you chose to purchase my book. I can assure you this read will be life-changing.

The Empowered Woman

Poem by Sonny Carroll

The Empowered Woman, she moves through the

world with a sense of confidence and grace.

Her once reckless Spirit now tempered by wisdom.

Quietly, yet firmly, she speaks her Truth without doubt

or hesitation and the life she leads is of her own creation.

She now understands what it means to live and let live.

How much to ask for herself and how much to give.

She has a strong, yet generous heart and the inner

beauty she emanates truly sets her apart.

Like the mythical Phoenix, she has risen from the ashes

and soared to a new plane of existence, unfettered by

the things that once posed such resistance.

Her senses now heightened, she sees

everything so clearly.

She hears the wind rustling through the trees,

beckoning her to live the dreams she holds so dearly.

She feels the softness of her hands and muses on

the strength they possess. Her needs and desires she

has learned to express. She has tasted the bitter and

savored the sweet fruits of life, overcome adversity,

and pushed past heartache and strife.

And the one thing she never understood, she now

knows to be true, it all begins and ends with You.

Introduction

Rica Renice Jones, was born July 5, 1980, in Charlotte, North Carolina. I am 32 years of age and a single parent of a nine-year-old son, Khilen. Khilen and I are enjoying the life God has prepared for us. Khilen is my main focus in life, and many things that I have accomplished throughout this journey of my life were achieved simply to make a better life for my son and me.

Growing up under the wings of a single mother, my life was quite interesting. The days of guidance and protection were many. My mother trained me to be strong, no matter what obstacles might arise. My brothers were my protectors.

I spent my first five years playing on the country roads of Heath Springs, South Carolina, ten miles outside of Lancaster. My mother, brothers, and I lived with my maternal grandmother, and every other weekend I would spend time with my father’s family. There were times when I would see my father during these visits, and other times I did not. My dad was in the military Reserves, and often was away during the weekends.

Country living was fun; however, my mother eventually prepared for a change in life; she was ready to be a wife. At the age of five, I, along with my mother, my brothers, and my stepfather moved to Temple Hills, Maryland. The seven years spent in Maryland were very difficult. My brothers and I lived a very fun-filled life for the most part. But our mother worked three jobs just to keep the bills paid, food on our table, and a roof over our head. She was the hardest-working woman I knew. She would leave extremely early in the morning to catch the bus to get to her first job, and I would not see her until 9 or 10 o’clock at night.

As my mothers’ marriage was difficult, I grew to love her even more. She was a strong, caring, loving woman… my superwoman… my mother. I prayed that one day life would become better for Mom, and eventually that happened, thanks to God’s providence for our family, especially; she certainly deserved it. Thankfully, I observed a mature, patient commitment in the relationship of my paternal grandparents. I grew up seeing their love, affection, and respect for one another, and knew this was how a male/female relationship should be for everyone.

We never know what a person has been through. I recently listened to a speech that a really good friend of mine presented to a group of high school students. Listening to his speech and understanding where he came from, compared to where he is today, flooded my heart with joy and excitement. I gained a totally new respect for him, respect that you give a good man. He is a man who is making things happen, a man who is changing the lives of others, a man who can encourage the lost, a man who embraces where he came from and realizes that this journey has brought him to where he is today—to be able to share his testimony and change the lives of so many young people, a young generation filled with lost, hurt, and broken men and women. My heart goes out to the younger generation, especially the younger generation of females. A man of this caliber, one who desires to encourage another generation to stay on the straight and narrow path, the path that leads to success, is defined as the P.U.R.E. Man. He understands that there is much he can contribute to the positive guidance of upcoming generations.

I decided to write this book to serve as the blueprint to many women out there who desire to one day enjoy a promising, successful, and loving relationship with a good man. As women, we have experienced many hardships that have left us picking ourselves up.

We have experienced difficulties that have brought on loneliness, heartache, and that feeling of vulnerability that has caused many of us to settle for whatever a man would give us. During times of vulnerability, it is easy for us to fall into extramarital relationships, but this should not be. Our body is not our ticket to success; our brilliance is. Where there is nothing wrong with having a nice figure, not everyone should be allowed to experience that intimate part of you. The P.U.R.E. man wants to see what you have to offer as a woman, a mentor, a dreamer…