The Boy Who Was Me
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About this ebook
In his book Steve tells his story through short narrative and poems to empower other survivors to speak out.
Steve Farquhar
Steve Farquhar is a survivor of child sexual abuse, a secret he has hidden for over 40 years. Child sexual abuse remains a taboo subject in New Zealand. The stigma and judgement are too strong for many men. The myths surrounding men being abused are well ingrained resulting in silence from those affected and a lack of resources for male survivors. It is time to change the myths. It is time to speak out.
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The Boy Who Was Me - Steve Farquhar
Copyright © 2014 Steve Farquhar. .
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
Balboa Press
A Division of Hay House
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Bloomington, IN 47403
www.balboapress.com
1 (877) 407-4847
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-2066-7 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4525-2067-4 (e)
Balboa Press rev. date: 09/30/2014
Contents
Acknowledgements
Preface
My Story
About the Poems
The boy who was me
The friend of mine
Not me
A life of doors
The me that I have found
Whenever where
Soft smooth babies born
Afraid to tell
A boy growing up
Mother’s arms
The moon is full
Talk listen find heal
Not tonight sweetie
Commitment
Time with me
One day
Yes, yes, no
My life
False real
One at a time for 12
Life in a bottle
Inside my loneliness
A place for me
I’d really like to know
Senses hear to see
Pain like snow
Those words
Revered by consent
Cycles of blackness
Life’s autumn
Clouds of fire
Whispers to a journey nowhere
A choice so final
Where I survived
Sand rough between my toes
On me
Friend or foe
My life a plan
That feeling
Where are you?
Angels
Not real
Smile
The fire shares warmth
Sparkle through the window
Survivors all
Choose to talk
Nature’s breeze
I am me
Friends old and new
Autumn’s sombre feel
To see why
As Time Dictates
Smiles Soft
Jules
Be still be mine
Scared
The one thing I want the most
Empty words
Inside
Mum
With you
Brother lost
The love of Grace
My dad
Afraid
That to this
My friend
JV
Bestman
It’s me
The melt
Only if it’s real
Hiding
Love’s vessel
Whispers warm
Such things
Steps of courage
My new home
New friend
Upon the shelf
Ashamed again
Grace
The recovery journey
Autumns of change
Being hurt is friends
My beach
It’s not so bad
The way it works
Me free
Sit with me
I no me
The memories I see
Afterword
Survivor Resources
"Tears.
The liquid which cleanses the soul.
When the time comes,
bathe yourself in them."
Bo Budinsky
Save One Survivor
For Mum
You always believed me.
Acknowledgements
This book has been a labour of love and without the help, support and honesty of some wonderful people it might still be in the to be finished
file.
Gail, my little sis
- always there for me, through thick and thin and still more thick. You helped me with your love and support every time you called. You are awesome.
Special thanks to Grace and Bek for allowing me to use