Welcome to Adulting Survival Guide: 42 Days to Navigate Life

Previous Titles by Author

Welcome to Adulting

© 2019 by Jonathan Pokluda

Published by Baker Books

a division of Baker Publishing Group

PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287

www.bakerbooks.com

Ebook edition created 2019

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

ISBN 978-1-4934-2160-2

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Scripture quotations labeled NASB are from the New American Standard Bible® (NASB), copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org

Scripture quotations labeled NKJV are from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations labeled NLT are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Some names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.

The author is represented by The Gates Group of 1403 Walnut Lane, Louisville, Kentucky 40223

To everyone trying to survive in the real world.

Don’t go at it alone.

To Presley, Finley, and Weston.

When you get there, your mom and I are here to help.

I love you all.

Contents

Cover    1

Half Title Page    2

Previous Titles by Author    3

Title Page    4

Copyright Page    5

Dedication    6

Introduction    9

1. Embrace Your True Identity    13

2. Recovery    18

3. What Is God’s Will for My Life?     23

4. Questions to Ask When Navigating a Gray Area    27

5. Undulation    33

6. Your Love God Language    37

7. A Day of Rest    41

8. Let Your GPS Guide You    42

9. Compounding Interest    46

10. Freedom from or Freedom For?     51

11. Here’s a Tip    55

12. Getting Away with It    59

13. The Power of Habits    65

14. A Day of Rest    70

15. The Lonely Generation    71

16. Your Top Five    76

17. Can’t We All Just Get Along?    80

18. Unload the Weight    85

19. Our Mission    89

20. Time to Commit    96

21. A Day of Rest    101

22. Clearness Committee    102

23. Growing Young    107

24. I Choose Contentment    111

25. Before You Face Your Giant    115

26. Revolutionary Humility    120

27. Secret Agent    125

28. A Day of Rest    130

29. Worried for No Reason    131

30. The Antidote for Anxiety    136

31. The Warning Signal of Anger    141

32. If It’s Not Good, God’s Not Done    147

33. That’s Not a Donut, It’s Grace    152

34. Guard Your Heart    157

35. A Day of Rest    162

36. Power Along the Way    163

37. The Greatest Thing You’ll Ever Do    167

38. The Power of Being Faithful    172

39. To Fast or Not to Fast?     177

40. Live for Eternity    182

41. Get in the Wheelbarrow    186

42. A Day of Rest    192

Acknowledgments    193

Notes    195

About the Author    199

Back Ads    201

Back Cover    205

Introduction

As I was working on my book Welcome to Adulting, I hit a difficult spot. The book took off, which was cool, but I never anticipated it being so successful. Suddenly I found myself being invited to speak at more conferences and churches. At the same time my job responsibilities were changing, and I lost a valued coworker, which put even more responsibility on me. A loved one got sick while our kids’ activities cranked up. It was all too much and, for the first time in my life, I began experiencing anxiety.

The good news is that there is a lot of help out there for someone who is struggling. The bad news is that I didn’t know what help to choose. The options were overwhelming, and I almost felt like that increased my burden.

Simplicity

Finally, I found what worked for me. Simplicity. Every morning I focused on just one idea. I contemplated that idea, I meditated on it, and I looked to apply it that day. That simple focus helped me to survive that day. Soon I was out of the woods, no longer just hoping to survive but seeking to thrive in the abundant life Jesus offers his followers.

My prayer is that this book can provide the same help for you. You’ll find the format is similar to what I needed. There is one short, focused reading per day for the next six weeks. Each day you’ll also find a Bible passage to read, a question, an application, and a prayer. I hope this helps you put one foot in front of the other, allowing you to walk a path of faithfulness in the uncharted territory of adulting.

Real-Life Scenarios

Have you seen the survival guide for worst-case scenarios? It teaches you how to survive an anaconda attack and an avalanche. The chapters are interesting and humorous, but they present circumstances the average young adult will never find themselves in.

The book you hold in your hands (or are looking at on your electronic device) is filled with situations you will find yourself in. For each, you will find biblical advice based on a biblical worldview.

Pattern Recognition

For over a decade, I had the privilege of being the pastor of the largest young adult gathering in America. I’ve been able to observe the lives of tens of thousands of young adults. Watching that many people, I started to recognize patterns. I saw some choices that led to devastation and others that led people to move successfully into young adulthood.

I want to help you make wise decisions that honor God and put you on a path of not just surviving but thriving. My goal is that the truth of Proverbs 16:3 will become a reality in your life. Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.

Chapter 1

Embrace Your True Identity

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! –2 Corinthians 5:17

When I was a kid, I lived on a farm. One day, my dad asked me to get him the fence stretcher.

The fence stretcher? I asked.

My dad explained exactly where I would find it in the garage. I ran to the spot and looked, but no fence stretcher. I went back and told my father he was wrong. I explained, The only thing there is my toy machine gun.

My father gave me a confused look and started walking toward the garage, where he picked up . . . my toy machine gun. He showed it to me. This is a fence stretcher.

I gave my father a confused look. I wanted to explain to him that, no, what he was holding was the make-pretend machine gun that I had used countless times to shoot make-pretend bad guys. But I didn’t. I decided my father was wiser than me and was probably right.

Me

When I was a kid, I was thought of as a future farmer.

In my teens, as I got my ears pierced and got a tattoo, I became a rebellious future farmer.

In college, I became a partier.

After college, I started to pursue money and respect and I became successful.

The whole time, I didn’t have much interest in God. I would show up at church (I’m from Texas, where nearly everyone shows up at church), but I didn’t have much to do with God. It was easy. Why would a rebellious, partying, successful guy want to have anything to do with God? And, I thought, why would God want to have anything to do with a rebellious, partying, successful guy?

Then I started hanging out with some people who were really different. They were real, and fun, and caring, and cool. They were Christians.

They gave me a different way of looking at God. I discovered that he was a loving Father. I also learned that I was God’s beloved child. I wanted to explain to him that, no, I was actually a rebellious, partying, successful guy. But I didn’t. I decided my heavenly Father was wiser than me and was probably right.

Suddenly it didn’t make sense for me to not have interest in God or to ignore him. I was his child, I was loved, and I wanted to live my life in relationship with him.

You

If I asked, Who are you? how would you answer?

You might tell me your name, which is a nice sound your parents assigned to you, but it is not your identity.

If you’re in school, you might say, I’m a student, but what happens after you graduate?

Similarly, defining yourself by what you do, like your job title, only describes what you currently do for about forty hours a week. It’s not who you are.

There are other ways you might define yourself: by your hometown, your college degree, or a state championship you won, or as a foodie or a shopaholic. You might get hung up on something you’ve done in the past that you regret or that hurt you or others: you’re an ex-con, a divorcée, someone who had an abortion. But, again, that’s not who you are.

True You

When I was in college, before I became a Christian, one night I wanted to get into a bar in Dallas. I was underage but I had a plan. My roommate was twenty-one, and I would use his ID.

I confidently walked up to the bouncer and handed him the ID.

He looked at it, looked at me, and started shaking his head. It says here that you’re five-foot-nine.

I am six-foot-seven, so this wasn’t looking good. But I tried to play it cool. That’s a typo, I replied. I’m five-nineteen. (If you do the math, that actually works out to six-foot-seven. I’m a genius!)

He looked at the ID again and read the name, Babak Ali Hadid.

I hadn’t considered the fact that my roommate was Iranian and I was . . . not.

My plan didn’t work. My true identity betrayed the fake me I was trying to be. I was no more a five-foot-nine Iranian than my dad’s fence stretcher was a machine gun.

My hope is that your true identity will betray the fake you. Because no matter what you’ve been told about you, no matter what you think about you, the truth is, you are God’s beloved child. If you understand and embrace your true identity, it will change not only the way you think of yourself but your entire life.

Think of it this way: Why does a caterpillar crawl around in the mud? Because it’s a caterpillar. But then a caterpillar goes through a transformation process in which it becomes a new creation; it becomes a butterfly. A butterfly flies through the sky. Why? Because it’s a butterfly. If you saw a butterfly crawling in mud, what would you have to assume? That butterfly still believes it’s a caterpillar!

You are not who you think you are, and you are not who you were. If you have put your faith in Jesus, you are a new creation. You are God’s beloved child. When you understand that, you will no longer crawl in the mud. Why would you? You can fly.

Ponder

How do you think embracing your true identity would change your life?

Practice

Commit to going on this survival guide