Unlike Jesus: Let's Stop Unfriending the World

Praise for Unlike Jesus

As followers of Christ, we might know the message of God’s love and forgiveness, but we have no one to tell because we are so unlike Jesus. Dr. Larry Dixon has clearly (and humorously) highlighted one of the greatest weaknesses in the Western Church today — we fail to develop  friendships with outsiders. If David and Wayne had avoided me during our college days, I wonder how long it would have taken me to learn how to have a personal relationship with our Father God. I have known Dr. Dixon for decades and have watched him put the lessons of his book into practice. Read along and learn how to be much more like Jesus when it comes to sharing the greatest message on earth.

Dr. Bill Jones

Past President and Current Chancellor

Columbia International University

If anyone can speak to a creative and practical approach to connecting and relating to people, especially those who have no faith or church orientation, it’s Larry Dixon. Unlike Jesus... will mess with your heart and mind. And that’s why every Christ-follower should read this book.

Dr. David Olshine

Professor of Youth ministry, Family and Culture 

Columbia International University

Founder of Youth Ministry Coaches

Speaker and Author

Like his other books, Dr. Dixon’s newest book, Unlike Jesus: Let’s Stop Unfriending the World, is Biblical, profound and, at the same time, refreshing and fun.  And like his other books, this one is an attack of sanity for believers.  Before you pray for the lost, witness to unbelievers or evangelize sinners, read this book.  It will be the difference between wasting your time and seeing more fruit than you would believe.  This book is a gift to Christians and the church!

Stephen Brown

Seminary professor, broadcaster

Author of Talk the Walk:  How to be Right Without Being Insufferable.

Wow! Larry Dixon hits the nail on the head when he chides us Christians (with strong biblical support) about our isolationism and failure to deliberately reach out to and befriend a lost world. I found this book especially credible and helpful because the author doesn’t speak from a position of superiority, but as one who himself struggles with sharing his Christian faith with non-believers. While laced with good humor, this deadly serious book is must reading for all followers of Christ.

Dr. George W. Murray

Former President and Chancellor

Columbia International University, Columbia, South Carolina)

Larry Dixon has written a book that is easy to read but strikes at the heart of personal evangelism. He points us to Jesus, the friend of sinners, as a model for bringing others to Christ. Larry backs up his theology of evangelism with personal illustrations and experiences of sharing Christ among his circle of friends over the years. Solidly grounded in biblical truth, his book will inspire you to broaden your circle of friends for the sake of the gospel.

Philip Boom

President, Emmaus Bible College

Dr. Larry Dixon offers challenge, accountability, great exegesis, and practical ideas on how the church can recapture its heart for the Great Commission, one friend at a time.  Unlike Jesus is a powerful reminder that the church can easily drift toward isolationism in our fear of becoming like the world.  This book would be a great tool for individuals and small groups that want to reawaken their hearts for the lost.

Rev. Dr. Jeff Philpott

Sandhills Community Church

UNLIKE JESUS

Let's Stop Unfriending the World

Larry Dixon, Ph.D.

Energion Publications

Gonzalez, Florida

August 2019

Copyright © 2019, Larry Dixon, Ph.D.

Scripture quotations except as otherwise noted are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®

Copyright © 1973 1978 1984 2011 by Biblica, Inc. TM

Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

ISBN: 978-1-63199-703-7

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019909717

Energion Publications

PO Box 841

Gonzalez, FL 32560

energion.com

pubs@energion.com

Table of Contents

Foreword v

Introduction: vii

1 What a Friend We Have in Jesus♬ 1

2 It's a Small World After All . . .♬ 13

3 I Haven't Got Time for the … ♬ 27

4 Before You Judge Me, Take a Look at Yo-self …♬ 39

5 Honesty — It's Such a Lonely Word!♬ 49

6 How Can It Be Wrong … When It Feels So Right? ♬ 61

7 We've a Story to Tell to the Nations ♬ 71

8 Let's Get Lost (in Each Other's Arms) ♬ 85

Appendices

1 A Response to One-Way Friendships 99

2 A Survey of Friends Still On the Way 105

3 A Few Ideas for the Local Church 113

Foreword

There are a lot of books on evangelism. This book is not like the rest of those books.

Most books on evangelism focus on what to tell people, to get them to believe the gospel, how to argue your position from the Bible, or techniques for convincing people that they should become Christians. Dixon’s book instead describes how to live in a way that allows you to enter into the world of non-believers and build long lasting friendships with them as a means to sharing the gospel. Rather than a list of things to say, this book focuses on how to engage, love, be loved, listen, share stories and live the gospel in front of people the same way Jesus attracted people to Himself.

Dixon is an uncharacteristic theologian in that he uses very little theological jargon while at the same time expertly exploring the Bible to demonstrate how Jesus managed to build relationships with sinners and win them over to Himself. He describes the types of criticism a Christian will probably receive when living in the world and entering into what may be an uncomfortable world of those who do not know Christ. Dixon wrestles with how to live in the world and how to enjoy the world without falling into the trap of being worldly. Chapters seven and eight give practical step by step advice on the process of engagement.

Dixon is also uncharacteristic of most theologians in that he is very playful and humorous. He believes that non-Christians must see joy and delight in us as an invitation to discuss spiritual matters. His quotes from a wide variety of authors and songwriters is well worth the price of the book.

I have known and taught with Dixon for over a decade. He has the integrity to write this book. He uses tennis, chess, ping pong, meals around the table and dialogue to invite people into relationships with the hope of entering into spiritual discussion and a salvation experience.

If you believe there is a heaven and hell, a loving God who does not want any to perish and are willing to leave the comfort of the Christian bubble to enter into relationships with non-Christians for the sake of the gospel, then this book is for you.

Allan McKechnie

Professor Emeritus

Columbia International University

Introduction

I’ve never been unfriended on Facebook. That’s probably because I’m a neophyte and am just beginning to spend time with that connection. I know. I know. Technological Neanderthal is the term in your mind right now, correct? But I understand that it must be painful for some to be unfriended or defriended.

Have we who want to follow Christ unfriended the very ones He came to save? As we will see, there is a massive difference between being a friend of sinners (which Jesus was, Matthew 11:19) and being a friend of the world (which, understood properly, none of us should be, James 4:4).

What draws you to another person? It may be their similar likes and dislikes to yours. It may be their pleasant company or their engaging smile. But what really deeply attracts you to someone else?

True friendship involves affection, sympathy, empathy, honesty, altruism, mutual understanding and compassion, the enjoyment of each other’s company, trust, and the ability to be oneself, express one’s feelings, and make mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend. While there is no practical limit on what types of people can form a friendship, friends tend to share common backgrounds, occupations, or interests, and have similar demographics.¹

Now that’s a mouthful! For me friendship involves genuine love. You know they love you. You know they care deeply about you. You know they won’t forsake you when life gets hard, or circumstances change, or you have a sour day. They stick with you. Through thick or thin. And whether that love is of a more romantic variety or just basic, solid friendship, you are drawn to them like small lead beads are to a powerful magnet. You can’t help but want to be around them, to talk with them, or to simply be together. Silent. Breathing the same air. Being in the same room.

Jesus had that impact on the outcasts of His culture. His personality, how He treated others, His words of kindness were irresistible. To the downtrodden. The sinners. The prostitutes. The hated IRS agents of the day.

There is no substitution for genuine love. And the Lord Jesus genuinely loved sinners. He came for them. He spent time with them. He sought them out. And He died for them. How dare we do less?

This book will make the case that Jesus was a friend of sinners. His love for them attracted them to Himself and drove the religious windbags away from Him. And though the latter was sad, it did not deter Him from His mission of loving the lost.

We who say we are followers of Jesus fail Him in many ways. Thank God for the chance to repent and allow God the Holy Spirit to change us! If you have so many lost friends that you’ve lost count, and if each of them knows where you stand spiritually, and they are convinced that you love them with an unconditional love, then go get your money back for this book. This book is not for you.

But if you begin to realize that your life is over-stuffed with Christian friends and Christian meetings and Christian casseroles and Christian missionary stories, and that there is precious little room left for significant relationships with lost people, then I’ve written this book for you.

I will first prove that Jesus was a friend of sinners. I will then do my best to dismantle and destroy five excuses which Jesus-followers give for not loving the lost as He did. Are you listening? Really listening? I’ll make the case that we must listen to the stories of our lost friends if we want to develop meaningful relationships with them. I will also seek to remind us of that terrible reality of true lostness — and how we fit in God’s rescue mission.

I will deal with the question, what do we have in common with unsaved people? We know that we can be their good friends, but can (should) they be ours?

I’m so sold on this need in my life that I’ve even surveyed several