Out of Control: Polyamorous Passions, #6

OUT OF CONTROL: Polyamorous Passions, Book 6

By Sagan Morrow

Some rules are made to be broken...

It’s not that ambitious, pragmatic Helen Gilbert needs everything done her own way—it’s just that her way is always the best way.

And that holds true for everything in her life, from reorganizing her boss’s filing cabinet without telling him... to her volunteer work with managing a charity fashion show... to the rules she has with her new husband, Ben, about their open relationship.

The rule she’s most adamant about? No falling in love with anyone else.

Ben just broke that rule.

And what’s more, Helen might be—horror of horrors!—catching feelings for other people, too.

Suddenly, all of her careful planning and preparation has gone up in flames. Helen realizes that perhaps she doesn't have everything in her life under the meticulous command she thought she did... and now, she has to decide if she’s willing to give up that control to save her marriage...

Note: While reading this story, you can tune into the special Out of Control soundtrack at SaganMorrow.com/playlist6 (the complete list of songs is available at the back of this book!).

Out of Control is Book 6 in the Polyamorous Passions series.

Polyamorous Passions follows the lives of three best friends as they each embark on their own journeys into consensual non-monogamy. Books 1—3 focused on Emma, Books 4—6 focus on Helen, and Books 7—9 will focus on Scarlett. Each novella can be enjoyed as a stand-alone.

This contemporary new adult series is suitable for anyone interested in real-life polyamory and open relationships, positive female friendships, alternatives to monogamy and monogamous relationships, and explorations of sexuality.

Read other books in this series, available now:

Book 1:A Choice Between Two

Book 2:Gaming the System

Book 3: Make Me Forget

Book 4: She Wants More

Book 5: Being Good

Connect with the author: @Saganlives onTwitter andInstagram.

Get updates on new book releases, access sample chapters of each novel, and tune into the indie author podcast atSaganMorrow.com/books.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any likeness to actual persons and events is purely coincidental. The views of the characters do not necessarily reflect the views of the author.

Please note that the Polyamorous Passions series uses sex-positive language and both reclaims and embraces terms such as smut and slutty.

All rights reserved. This book is not to be reproduced or distributed without express written permission from the author.

Chapter 1

A nd how do you feel about taking calculated risks, Ms. Gilbert? Philip asked, leaning forward in his chair.

Helen sat up straighter from where she sat across from him at the conference room table. This was her third and final interview for the Regional Manager job with Hourglass Agency, the marketing company she had been working at for the past seven years. If she aced these last few interview questions, she would be promoted to the highest position at their local office.

It was the opportunity of a lifetime.

This job was one she’d been sure wouldn’t be offered to her for at least another five years. But when a manager at the head office decided to retire early, it meant that her boss, Jack, was promoted to their role... and as a result, his job was available for the taking.

Jack had groomed her for this moment. It was the next big stepping stone in her career. A chance to make a name for herself.

Someone else might feel intimidated or nervous in her position, but Helen exuded self-assurance. She knew she was great at her job. She had earned this opportunity. She deserved it. And dammit, if she wasn’t determined to succeed.

Helen looked at the panel of interviewers before her as she considered how to best answer Philip’s last question.

How do I feel about calculated risks? Her mouth twitched in a smile. Well, let’s see, I risked my decade-long relationship with the love of my life last year when I asked him if we could be polyamorous, because I believed we’d be able to survive it. How’s that for a calculated risk?

And that risk had paid off, too. She and her boyfriend—husband, Helen had to correct herself (after six months of marriage, thinking of Ben as her husband was still sometimes surreal)—now had a stronger relationship than ever. Ben had agreed, reluctantly at first and then more eagerly, to open their relationship. They had been actively non-monogamous ever since their honeymoon.

Yes, when it came right down to it, Helen had no problem taking calculated risks.

Hourglass Agency would not be where it is today if Richard Chase had shied away from opening a second, third, and fourth office across the country a decade ago, Helen said, naming their CEO. Our regional office would not have grown by 23% in the past four years and exceeded every single income goal the head office gave us, if not for the calculated risks Jack was willing to take.

She glanced over at Jack and gave him a nod of acknowledgement. He beamed back at Helen. It gave her an extra boost of confidence to see the pride her boss had in her, to know that he had recommended her with the highest of praise to take over his job after he was promoted. There was comfort in knowing she had at least one of the interviewers in her corner.

Helen addressed the other two interviewers seated beside Jack. And frankly, I would not be sitting across from you today if I had not taken calculated risks over the course of my own career. I have always been a big-picture, long-term thinker, and I have no intentions of changing that any time soon. She was pleased with the sound of easy confidence in her voice.

Totally nailing this interview. Obviously.

Speaking of change, Jack interjected, I’d like to hear you share your opinion of your own ability to adapt to change in the workplace.

Classic Jack, Helen thought to herself wryly. Jack would ask her to analyze her own self-awareness abilities.

Judging by the curious expressions on the faces of the other two interviewers, this particular question was not one they had pre-planned.

Helen hesitated. She knew honesty was the most important attribute right now, even if it didn’t necessarily make her look great.

I can change, as long as I’m the one in control of the change, would be the most honest assessment. It was her who wanted to transition from a monogamous to a non-monogamous relationship with Ben, after all. Helen wasn’t sure that she would have been as amenable to the idea as he was, had their positions been reversed.

That’s not fair, Helen objected silently. Your entire perspective on relationships changed because of Emma. Emma was one of Helen’s best friends, and she had been polyamorous for the past couple of years. Seeing how happy Emma was in her relationships with the two men in her life, John and Carlos, had inspired Helen; had made Helen start to ask the hard questions about her own relationship style.

How could Helen explain all of this to her interviewers? She felt confident in herself and she wasn’t the kind of person to radically change who she was, just because someone else came along. Another person might help her see the world through a different lens, but that was all. Helen always made decisions about herself, for herself. At the end of the day, that’s what it came down to.

That answer would have to be good enough for the panel before her. She crossed her legs and drew her shoulders back, feeling exposed in the lonely chair across the imposing conference table. Helen hated feeling vulnerable.

I trust in my abilities, my experience, and my instincts, she said at last. I am not easily swayed by someone trying to convince me otherwise. I have been referred to as a bulldozer now and then, Helen admitted, refusing to let them see her inward wince, but that doesn’t mean I’m averse to change. It means that I am self-assured.

Jack leaned back in his chair, nodding encouragingly.

Can you expand on that? Philip wanted to know.

Damn, Helen thought. You can’t let me leave it at that?

I have a great deal of confidence in the direction Hourglass Agency is taking at present. If other directions presented themselves, I would be willing to explore those options.

The interviewers just watched her.

Silence, it turned out, was an excellent tool to get an interviewee to talk more.

When I first started working here, my perspective on things was very different than it is currently, Helen went on. "I believe that everyone’s views are important to take into consideration, regardless of their role here and regardless of whether their perspectives are different from my own. The only way we can continue to grow and improve as a company is if we are willing to adapt—but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t evaluate each situation as we go through it, and be