The Sisters Grimm: The Unusual Suspects

1

Three Days Earlier

Let’s get this party started, already! Sabrina grumbled as she rubbed another cramp out of her leg. For the last three nights she and her seven-year-old sister, Daphne, had been crouching behind a stack of Diaper Rash Donna dolls waiting for criminals to rob Gepetto’s Toyshop. She was tired, hungry, and more than a little irritated. She should have been at home, sleeping in her own bed, not using a board game as a pillow.

Shhh! You’ll wake him, Daphne said, pointing to their two-hundred-pound Great Dane. Elvis was lying next to a display of yo-yos, sound asleep. Sabrina couldn’t help but envy him.

Girls, you have to be quiet, Granny Relda said as she huddled behind some foam rubber footballs. The crooks could come at any second!

In most ordinary towns, the police do not rely on two kids and a sleeping dog to solve crimes, but Ferryport Landing was no ordinary town. More than half of its residents were part of a secret community known as Everafters. Everafters were actually fairy-tale characters who had migrated from far and wide to the United States more than two hundred years ago. They had settled in the little town and now used magical disguises to live and work alongside their human neighbors. Ogres worked at the post office, witches ran the twenty-four-hour diner, and the legendary Prince Charming served as the town’s mayor. The humans were none the wiser—except the Grimms.

Sabrina would have been happy to live in blissful ignorance, but her family had been involved with Everafters since her great-great-great-great-grandfather Wilhelm Grimm and his brother, Jacob, helped establish Ferryport Landing. Some might think it thrilling to live next door to fairies and princesses, but Sabrina felt like she was trapped inside a bad dream. Most of the Everafters saw her family as their bitter enemies, largely because of the magical curse Wilhelm and a witch named Baba Yaga had used to trap them within the town’s borders. It stopped a war between the Everafters and the humans, but it also created an invisible cage. No Everafter could leave Ferryport Landing unless the Grimms abandoned the town or died out. More than a few folks would have been happy to see either happen.

Even with that dark cloud hanging over her family, Granny Relda had made a few genuine friends in the community. Among them was a portly sheriff named Ernest Hamstead, who happened to be one of the three not-so-little pigs. He occasionally turned up at the family’s door asking for help with unsolved cases, and Granny couldn’t resist a mystery.

So here Sabrina sat, leg cramps and all, waiting for burglars to make their move inside the toyshop. There were things she would rather be doing, things she should be doing, like finding her parents. Instead, she and her sister were hiding behind Etch-A-Sketches and cans of Silly String stacked miles high. It was boring work with few distractions. At least she could use the time productively. Sabrina reached into her pocket and pulled out a small flashlight. She flicked its switch to illuminate a book sitting at her feet. She picked it up and started reading—The Jungle Book might hold a clue to rescuing her mom and dad. She’d barely read a paragraph before Daphne was grumbling.

Sabrina, Daphne whispered, what are you doing? You’re going to give us away. Turn off that light.

Sabrina slammed the book closed. There was no arguing with her sister. Daphne had taken to all this silly detective work the way a dog takes to a slice of bologna. Like their grandmother, Daphne loved all of it—the note taking, the stakeouts, the endless research. If only she would use all that energy on something that really mattered—reuniting their family!

A rustling sound drifted across the room, and Sabrina quickly shut off her flashlight. She peered over the stack of dolls and spotted something moving near a display for a hot holiday toy called Don’t Tickle the Tiger. Daphne poked her head up, too.

Do you see anything? she whispered.

No. But it’s coming from that direction, Sabrina whispered back, pointing toward the rustling. Wake up Sleepy and see if he smells anything.

Daphne shook Elvis until he staggered to his feet. The big dog’s bandages had only recently been removed. He’d had a run-in with a bad guy’s boot but had made a full recovery. Still, he was a bit sluggish. He looked around as if he didn’t remember where he was.

You smell any bad guys, Elvis? Daphne asked softly.

The dog sniffed the air, and his eyes grew wide. He let out a soft whine. The best nose in the Hudson Valley smelled something, indeed.

Go get ’em, boy! Daphne cried, and the Great Dane took off like a rocket.

Unfortunately, that was when Sabrina realized Elvis’s leash was wrapped around her foot. As the dog howled wildly and tore through the store, he dragged Sabrina, thrashing, behind him, knocking over stacks of board games and sending balls bouncing in every direction. They emptied puzzle pieces everywhere and sent an army of Slinkys slinking across the floor. Sabrina struggled to grab the leash, but every time she got close to freeing herself, the dog took a wild turn and sent her skidding. She slid into a pile of what felt like sticky leaves. Some clung to her arms and legs, and one glued itself to her forehead.

Turn on the lights! Daphne shouted.

When the lights finally came on, Elvis stopped, stood over Sabrina, and barked. The girl sat up and then looked down at herself. She was covered in sticky glue mousetraps, each of which had a tiny little man, no more than a couple of inches high, stuck fast in the glue.

Hey, let me go! one of them shouted.

What’s the big idea? another cried.

Lilliputians! I knew it! Granny Relda said, then spotted Sabrina’s predicament and laughed. When Sabrina scowled at her, she tried to stop but couldn’t.

"Oh, liebling," she giggled.

Who’s the sick psychopath who came up with this idea? one of the Lilliputians shouted indignantly.

Granny leaned down to him and smiled. Don’t worry, with a little vegetable oil we’ll have you free in no time.

But I’m afraid you’re under arrest, Sheriff Hamstead said as he stepped out from behind a rack of doll clothes. His puffy, pink face beamed proudly as he tugged his trousers up over his massive belly.

The Lilliputians groaned and complained as the sheriff went to work yanking the sticky traps off Sabrina’s clothes.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Ouch! said Sabrina as the sheriff tugged a glue trap from her forehead.

I’m not talking, copper, one of the Lilliputians snapped. And I’m suing you for wrongful arrest.

Wrongful arrest! Sheriff Hamstead exclaimed. Unfortunately, when the portly policeman got angry or excited, the magical disguise he used to hide who he really was stopped working. Now his nose vanished and was replaced by a runny pink snout. Two hairy pig ears popped out of the top of his head, and a series of snorts, squeals, and huffs came out of his mouth. Hamstead had nearly completed the change when the security guard from the next store over wandered into the chaos.

What’s going on in here? the guard asked with a tough, authoritative voice. He was a tall, husky man with a military-style haircut, but when he saw the pig in a police uniform hovering over a dozen tiny men in glue traps, he nearly fainted.

Oh, dear. We forgot some of the shops have their own security guards, Granny Relda said softly as she reached into her handbag and approached the stunned man.

Granny, no, Sabrina begged.

I don’t have a choice, Sabrina. It doesn’t hurt him, Granny explained, then blew some soft pink dust into the guard’s face.

His eyes glazed over as the old woman told him he’d had another ordinary night at work and nothing unusual had occurred. The security guard nodded in agreement.

Another night at work, he mumbled, falling under the forgetful dust’s magic.

Sabrina scowled. She hated when magic was the quick fix to a problem, especially when the problem involved humans.

The glue traps were a brilliant idea, Sheriff Hamstead said as he drove the family home in his squad car. Granny sat in the front, enjoying his praise, while Sabrina and Daphne were in the back, jockeying with Elvis for seat space. The Lilliputians were locked in the glove compartment, and whenever their complaining got too loud, Hamstead smacked the top of the dashboard with his hand and yelled, Pipe down!

I’m glad we could be of some help, Granny Relda replied. Gepetto is such a nice old man. It broke my heart to hear he was being robbed, and with Christmas only two weeks away.

The holidays are difficult for him; he misses his boy, Hamstead said. It’s hard to believe that in two hundred years no one has heard a peep from Pinocchio.

Wilhelm’s journals claim he refused to get on the boat, Granny replied.

Oh, he got on, Hamstead said. But as soon as we were out of the marina he jumped overboard and swam for shore. By the time his father found out, we were too far out to sea to turn back. I suppose if I had been swallowed by a shark I wouldn’t be too eager to go back to sea, either.

I thought it was a whale, Daphne said.

No, hon, that was the movie, Granny replied. Sabrina had heard her grandmother explain the difference a hundred times. So much of what the girls thought they knew from seeing all those cartoons was wrong.

Well, I’m glad to get this case off my plate, the sheriff said. The mayor’s been cutting budgets left and right these days, and I just didn’t have the manpower or money to catch the little thieves myself.

Or to make sure the security guard was off duty so we didn’t have to mess with his brain, Sabrina grumbled.

Sheriff, the Grimms are always at your disposal, Granny Relda said, ignoring Sabrina.

I appreciate that, Relda, and I wish I could give you the credit for the arrest, but if Mayor Charming found out we’ve been working together, my backside would be one of those footballs in Gepetto’s store, Hamstead said.

It’s our little secret, Granny Relda said with a wink.

How is Canis?

Granny’s smile faded, and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Both Sabrina and Daphne noticed the change and wondered what their grandmother would say about her old friend.

He’s doing just fine.

Sabrina couldn’t believe it. In the short time she had known the old woman, Granny Relda had never told a lie. Mr. Canis was not fine by a long shot. In fact, he was very, very sick. Three weeks earlier, the girls had learned that Granny’s friend, the skinny, grouchy Mr. Canis, was secretly the Big Bad Wolf. When the family battled Jack the Giant Killer over a jar of magic beans, the Wolf bit Jack and tasted the villain’s blood. It changed him. When he got home, Canis locked himself inside his bedroom and wouldn’t come out. Every night, Sabrina and Daphne heard his painful moans and labored breathing. His horrible cries woke them in the night, and the sounds of him slamming himself against a wall kept their teeth on edge. Mr. Canis was far from fine.

That’s good to hear, Hamstead said doubtfully.

I want my phone call! a little voice cried from the glove compartment. We were framed!

The sheriff banged heavily on the dashboard. Tell it to the judge!

Sheriff Hamstead pulled his squad car into the driveway of the family’s quaint two-story yellow house. It was very late, and the house was dark. Sabrina opened her door, and Elvis lumbered out, still wearing two Lilliputian-free glue traps on his giant behind. It was bitterly cold, and Sabrina hoped the two adults wouldn’t blabber on, as they often did. Granny could talk a person’s ear off, but the sheriff just thanked them again and excused himself, claiming he had a mountain of paperwork waiting for him back at the station.

When his taillights were fading down the road, Granny took a giant key ring out of her handbag and went to work unlocking the door. There were more than a dozen locks. Once Sabrina had believed Granny Relda was just a paranoid shut-in, but in the last three weeks she had seen things that she would never have dreamed possible and now understood why the house was locked so tightly.

When all the locks were turned, the old woman knocked on the door three times and announced to the house that the family was home, making the last magical lock slide back and the door swing open for them.

After cookies, and some vegetable-oil swabbing for Elvis, Granny Relda urged the girls to get to bed. You’ve got school tomorrow. I’ve kept you up too late as it is.

Actually, Granny, Sabrina replied, feeling her head for a fever that wasn’t there, I think I’m coming down with something. I’d hate to go to school and get everyone sick.

Granny grinned. Sabrina, it’s been three weeks. If you two don’t go to school tomorrow, they are going to put me in the jailhouse. Now, up to bed.

Sabrina frowned. School was a waste of time. There were more important things to do.

When Daphne was steadily snoring, Sabrina slowly crawled out of their four-poster bed. The room was once their father’s, and his model airplanes still hung from the ceiling. An old catcher’s mitt rested on his desk, and his collection of books lined a shelf. Sabrina pulled several of them into her hands, pulled a key ring out from under her mattress, and silently crept into the hallway.

When she reached the door at the end of the hall, she sorted through her keys and found the long brass skeleton key that fit into the lock. Once it was open, she took a quick look around to make sure no one was watching, then slipped inside and closed the door.

The room was completely empty except for a full-length mirror hanging on the far wall and a sliver of moonlight shining through the room’s only window. Sabrina stepped up to the mirror and admired her reflection. Her long blond hair and blue eyes glowed a ghostly, milky blue. She tucked some strands behind her ears and rubbed her eyes, then did something most people would think was impossible—she walked directly into the glass and disappeared.

Once she was on the other side, she found herself in an immense room that reminded her of Grand Central Terminal in New York City. Its incredibly long, barrel-vaulted ceiling was supported by towering marble columns, and along each wall were hundreds, maybe even thousands, of doors, each with a golden plaque that revealed what was behind them: TALKING PLANTS, GIANT LIVING CHESS PIECES, BABE THE BLUE OX, MAGICAL ARMOR, and more, all impossibly interesting magical items and creatures collected by the Grimm family for safekeeping. Granny called it the world’s biggest walk-in closet. Sabrina called it the Hall of Wonders. She also called it her only hope.

She scanned the hall and spotted a lonely figure sitting in a high-backed chair several yards away.

Mirror, the girl called to him, I think I’ve found something useful.

Mirror, as he was called, was a short, balding man who lived inside the magic mirror. His was the mouth that had proclaimed Snow White the fairest one of all to the Wicked Queen. When he spotted Sabrina, he set down the celebrity magazine he was reading and got up from his chair.

"What? No Hello? No How are you? How’s the family?" the little man complained.

Sorry, Mirror, I don’t have a lot of time. I don’t want anyone to wake up and find me in here.

Of course you don’t. How would you explain that you’ve been swiping your grandmother’s keys one by one and making copies?

Sabrina ignored his disapproval.

I found this thing in Burton’s telling of the Arabian Nights, Sabrina said, opening one of her books and handing it to Mirror. He didn’t even bother to look at the page.

Listen, blondie, I assure you, if we had a jinni’s lamp I’d have a lot more hair on my head and we’d all be living in Hawaii. Don’t you think that if your grandmother had access to that kind of power, your parents would have already been found?

Sabrina frowned. It was always the same. She spent days researching ways to rescue her parents from their kidnappers, and every night Mirror shot her ideas down one by one.

Fine, Sabrina replied, handing Mirror another book she had opened already. What about this?

Mirror looked down at the book, flipped it closed to view its cover, and sighed.

This is not something a kid should be playing with, blondie, he said.

She handed him her set of keys, hoping it had the one she needed.

The little man shrugged and spun around, then headed down the hallway L. Frank Baum was the first to write about the Golden Cap. It’s one of the most interesting things the Wicked Witch of the West ever owned, and quite an exciting piece for our collection. Most people find her broomstick much more fascinating, but the cap is the most powerful, he continued. So, you know how it works?

"Yes, I put it on and recite the