Ek Larki Ko Dekha To Aisa Laga Doosri Larki Ko Dekha To Vaisa Laga Jab Dono Ne Joote MaareyTo Ek Jaisa Laga!!!

:-P

Jobb Aplication Good day, I can only Type with one finger (middle finger) but can solve Solitaire in 20 seconds in the Profile mode. I dont worry about the telephone because I talk to my friends on it for about 5 hours a day.I am looking for a Job as a secretary but it mustnt be to complicated.I have a small problem from when I was born (I have a funny colour hair), so you can pay me less if you think that I am good for the job..Thank you in advance for yore answer.Yore best applicant so far BS : Because my resume is a bit short below is a picture of me taken at my last job.

Shehar Ki Gali Mein Paan Ki Dukaan. Devdas Ne Dekhi Paro Ki Muskaan. Devdas Ne Khilaya Paro Ko Paan. Khake Paan Paro Boli Shukriya Bhai Jaan.

Friendship Is Like FEVICOL - Toote Nahin Love Is Like Cold Drink -Ye Dil Maange More Girlfriend Is Like Detergent - Pehle Istemal Karo Phir Vishwaas Karo.

JOKE OF THE DAY This Dialogue Is From The Movie Namak Halaal. The Scene Is The One In Which Amitabh Is Introduced To Ranjeet By Ram Sethi For The First Time In The Movie. Ranjeet: Yeh Sab To Theek Hai, Magar Angrezi Vangrezi Aati Hai Ya Nahi. Amitabh: E Lo Kar Lo Baat. Are Aisi Angrezi Ave Hain Ke I Can Leave Angrez Behind. I Can Talk English, I Can Walk English, I Can Laugh English, Because English Is A Funny Language. Bhairon Becomes Barren And Barren Becomes Bhairon Because Their Minds Are Very Narrow. In The Year 1929 When India Was Playing Australia At The Melbourne Stadium Vijay Hazare And Vijay Merchant Were At The Crease. Vijay

Merchant Told Vijay Hazare. Look Vijay Hazare, This Is A Very Prestigious Match And We Must Consider It Very Prestigiously. We Must Take This Into Consideration, The Consideration That This Is An Important Match And Ultimately This Consideration Must End In A Run. Ranjeet: O.K., O.K. Amitabh: In The Year 1979 When Pakistan Was Playing Against India At The Wankhade Stadium Wasim Raja And Wasim Bari Were At The Crease And They Took The Same Consideration. Wasim Raja Told Wasim Bari, Look Wasim Bari, We Must Consider This Consideration And Considering That This Is An Important Match We Must Put This Consideration Into Action And Ultimately Score A Run. And Both Of Them Considered The Consideration And Ran And Both Of Them Got Out. Ranjeet: O Shut Up.

When U Dont Know Whether To Luv Or Hate, When U R In Confused State, Dont Feel And Dont Debate, Just Sit Alone & MASTURBATE

70 Yr Old Man: Doc Meri Age Mein Sex Style Kyo Hona Chahiye? Doc: Doggy Style. Man: Aapke Matlab Peeche Se? Doc: Nahin, Sirf Soongh Aur Chaat

Man: Kiss Karun? Gal: Lipstick Kharab Hogi. Man: Boob Dabaun.? Gal: T-Shirt Kharab Hogi.? Man: Fuck? Gal: Period Me Hun.? Man: Dont Say Loose Motions Hai.

Hindi Swearing Gaand mein bambu Gandkate Kutte Teri gaand main kute ka lund Teri ma ki choot me hathi ka dum Parichod Januwar

Gaand Bhosad Chod Bumchod Gaandu Tatte Masalna Chutia Haraam Zaada Haraami Lund fakeer Kutiyaa Kuttiya Saali kutti Saala kutta Booblay Gaandu Lundoos Land ka bheja Choochii Mammey mumm-aye Kutte ki jat Toota hua lund Bhai Chod Meri Gand Ka Khatmal Jhaant ke pissu Gaand main keera Gaandfat Gaand ka makhan Chunni Lund choosu Beti Chod Rundi Ki bachi Lavde ke baal Lavander Kutte ke tatte Khota Chullu bhar muth mein doob mar Teri Gand Mein Haathi Ka Lund Lund pe thand hai Teri ma ki chut mai sabka lund Gaandmasti Ghondoo

Jhalla-gay Padma Carrom board Nimbu sharbat Rundi ke tatti pe biathne wala makhi Bhen chod Chodela Chut mari ke Chodra Chodu Choo-tiya Chutan Chutiya Chutiya choo-tia Chodu bhagat Chudan chudai Gaand main lassan Hijra Tor mai ke chodho Muth mar Apni land choos Bhen ke takke Rundi ko chowd Jaa Apni Bajaa Muth maar Lund pe chad ja Apni ma ko ja choos Backarchodu Lavde ke bal Ghasti / gashti / gasti / ghassad Rundi Raand ka pati Terey baad di gaand wich dhanda gussa ker rakdhungi. Mein teri maa ko liya tha uski suhaag raat pei. Teri Jhanten Kaat kar tere mooh par laga kar unki french beard bana doonga. Teri maa ki chut mein chatri leke hgus jaunga aur khol dunga. Mein teri maa ko teri bhen ki choot mein chodoonga aur tera baap laltern lekar aayega. Theri Biwiko Theri Saamne Chodhunga Teri ma ki bund mein chaarpai bichhake teri bhen ko chodun. Badir

Badirchand Bakland Chut marike Mangachinamun Ullu ke pathe Najayaz Najayaz paidaish Teri mi di kussi mey tera sarra khandan ko ggussa ker rakhdoungi. Bur ki chatani Chipkali ke jhaat ke baal Randhwa (or randwa) Muth marna Tere gaand mein keede paday Maa ke bhadve Mader chod Maa ke bable Ma chudi Maa ke bhadwe Na chhot, na chooche, nakhre noor jahan ke! Bhadkhau Toto LavDa Lavde Lund Gaand marau Soover Bhadhava Chinaal ke gadde ke nipple ke baal ke joon Jhat ke baal Jhaat ka bhaaji Jhaat chaatu Chut Pucchi Chut ke dhakkan Choot marani ka Apni gaand mein muthi daal Fatay huay lundtopi ka result Rubber bhosda Lundfakir Rundi ko chowd Kutte ka beej

Lund ka shorba Bandaa Tatti Chup Ke Chut Hai Chup Ke Bhen Chod Bahen ke laude Chut ke pasine mein talay huye bhajiye Bhains ki aulad Kutte ka awlat Kutte ke poot, teri maa ki choot Bhadwe ka awlat Rundi ka bacha Buhtah-nee ka Khotey ki aulda Sewwer ki bachi Raand ka jamai Gaand main danda Sadi hui gand Sali Kuta Sali Kutti Lund Chus Mera chunni choos Mere Chuus Maro Meri lundh choos Lund Ke Pasine Chippkali ke jhaant ke paseene Chipkali ke chut ke pasine Lo, mera lund anpi behen ko de do, agar khud na chod paya Rundi ki tatti pe baithnewaali makkhi Tere adha Nirodh mein rah gaya Teri maa ki gaand ki baal mein jalaay hue, maarey hue chupkili ki unday. Hazaar lund teri gaand main Chhola Phudakna Hijde Chhed Choot ke bhoot Chut ka bhoot Cuntmama Jab tu paida hua tho aagey se ya peechey se nikla tha chutiya? Kali Choot Ke Safaid Jhaat

Kali Chut ka Safaid Jhaat Chinaal Raandi baajer Chudai khana Ing ge pan di kut teh BhonsRi-Waalaa Phatele Nirodh ke Natije Tere maa ko sau kutte chode - sau wa tera baap! Teri maa ki bimaar badboodar choot Teri maa ki phudi guy ki hai Teri ma gandi rundi Teri ma chadha ka lund choos Teri maa ka bhosda Teri behen ka lavda rubber ka

A bamboo up your ass A dog's dick in your ass

English Translation

A dog with his ass scooped out An elephant's trunk in you mother's cunt Angel fucker Animal Ass Ass fucker Ass fucker Asshole Ball smashing/crushing Bastard Bastard Bastard Beggar's dick Bitch Bitch Bloody bitch Bloody dog Boobs

Born from an ass Born into this world from a dick Brain of penis Breasts Breasts Breed of dog Broken dick Brother-fucker Bug of my Ass Bug of pubic hair Bug up your ass Busted ass Butter from the ass Clit Cock sucker Daughter fucker Daughter of a whore Dick hair Dick head Dog's balls Donkey Drown yourself in a handful of semen Elephant's dick in your ass Even my dicks absolutely cool! (I don't care) Everyone's dick in your mom's pussy Extra playfulness (rude term) Faggot Faggot, fairy Fat Bitch Flat-chested Flat-chested Fly sitting on a whore's shit Fuck your sister Fucked up Fucked up Fucker

Fucker Fucker Fucker Fucker Fucker Fucking asshole Fucking games Garlic in ass Gay Get back in your mother's womb Go and masturbate Go and suck your own dick Go and suck your sister's balls Go fuck a prostitute Go fuck yourself Go piss Go ride a dick Go suck your mom Goat-fucker Hair on your penis Hooker Hooker Husband of a whore I am going to put a pill in your damn ass. I had your mother on her wedding night. I will cut your pubic hair and stick them on your face and make a goatee on your face. I will enter your mother's pussy with an umbrella and open it there. I will fuck your mom in your sister's cunt and your dad will bring a lantern. I will fuck your wife in front of you I will put a bed in your mother's cunt and fuck your sister on it. Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot

Idiot (lit. son of an owl) Illegitimate Illegitimately born I'm going to put your whole family in your mom's ass. Ketchup of cunt Lizard's cunt hairs Male prostitute Masturbate May worms infest your ass-hole Mom's pimp Mother-fucker Mother's breasts Mother's fucked Mother's pimp No pussy, no boobs, and still behaves like a princess! One who takes commission from a prostitute Penis Penis, dick, cock Penis, dick, cock Penis, dick, cock Person who gets fucked up the ass Pig (Very offensive to Muslims) Pimp Prostitute's breast's nipple's hair's lice Pubic hair Pubic hair fried with vegetables Pubic hair licker Pussy Pussy Pussy lid Pussy whipped) Put your fist up your ass Result of a torn condom Rubber pussy Saint of dicks Screw a hooker

Semen of a dog Semen of dick Semi-dick Shit Shut the Fuck up Shut Up Sister-fucker Sister's dick Snack fried in pussy sweat Son of a buffalo Son of a dog Son of a dog, your mother's pussy Son of a pimp Son of a whore Son of a Witch Son of donkey Son of pig Son-in-law of a whore Stick in ass Stinking ass Stupid Bastard Stupid Bitch Suck dick Suck my clit Suck my dick Suck my dick Sweat of dick Sweat of Lizard's pubic hair Sweat of reptiles cunt Take my dick and give it to your sister if you can't fuck her yourself The fly that sits on the ass of a whore The rest of you was left in the condom There are burnt, dead lizard eggs in the hair around your mother's ass. Thousand dicks in your ass Throbbing clit Transsexual

Vagina (lit. 'hole') Vaginal ghost Vaginal Ghost Vaginal uncle When you were born, did you come out from the front or the back? White hair of a black pussy White hair of a black pussy Whore Whore fucker Whore house You are a pig You fucker Your are the result of a torn condom. Your mom got fucked by 100 dogs - the 100th one being your dad! Your mom's diseased smelly cunt Your mother has a cow's pussy Your mother is a filthy whore Your mother sucks donkey dick Your mother's breasts Your sister has a dick made of rubber!

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% And, B-U-L-L-S-*-*-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103% AND, look how far ass kissing will take you. A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118% So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close and Attitude will get you there, Bull***t and Ass kissing will put you over the top.

TO MY DEAR GIRLFRIEND, During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the sheets were clean 17 times it was too late 49 times you were too tired 20 times it was too hot 15 times you pretended to be asleep 22 times you had a headache 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby 16 times you said you were too sore

12 times it was the wrong time of the month 19 times you had to get up early 9 times you said weren't in the mood 7 times you were sunburned 6 times you were watching the late show 5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo 3 times you said the neighbours would hear us 9 times you said your mother would hear us Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because: 6 times you just laid there 8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished 1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

TO MY DEAR BOYFRIEND, I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did: 5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat 36 times you did not come home at all 21 times you didn't cum 33 times you came too soon 19 times you went soft before you got in 38 times you worked too late 10 times you got cramps in your toes 29 times you had to get up early to play golf 2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls 4 times you got it stuck in your zipper 3 times you had a cold and your nose was running 2 times you had a splinter in your finger 20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day 6 times you came in your pyjamas while reading a dirty book 98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on TV Of the times we did get together: The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, Would you

prefer me on my back or kneeling? The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.

NAUGHTY SMS HUMOUR On Vidai, brides father gave a note to the boy GOODS ONCE DELIVERED, WILL NOT BE TAKEN BACK, Boy 2 gave a note to Sasurji NOT ACCEPTED IF SEAL IS BROKEN. A pros for nite: 200 Bucks, Hotel Room: 300 Bucks, Condom: 10 Bucks, Erection? SORRY!!! There r somethings money cant buy, for everything else theres Master Card. 5 yr old boy looks at his fathers erected dick n says PEPSI BOTTLE!, Dad says HOW DO U KNOW? Son: coz Mom sucks neighbours dick n says YE DIL MAANGE MORE If u can pronounce good English, read along: woof, shoof, loof, roof, woof, shoof, loof, roof, woof, shoof, loof, roof, woof, shoof, loof, roof, woof, shoof, loof, roof Test Result: u r a good dog, now stop barking. Is naye saal mein apko saand ki shakti, raand ki bhakti, kareena ki pussy, sex ka gyan, boobs ka dhyan, lund ki lambai, chut ki garmai PRAPT HO TATHAASTU!!! Ghalib is ditched by his girlfriend, is caught pissing on her gate, saying Tere pyaar mein yun dukhi hai Ghalib ke aansu bhi nikalte hain raste badal badal ke Question: Y is the male organ called the fountain of youth? Answer: Bcoz whoever, whenever, wherever rubs it the wrinkles go away. I luv the way it rubs n thrusts against soft pink skin n flesh, up n down, in n out, creating a thick creamy white mess!

Oh God, I SIMPLY LUV MY TOOTH BRUSH! When a woman arouses a man and leaves, she is known as a Cock Teaser. What is a male called that does the same to female? MOISTURISER!! What wud one say while remove bra? Desh mein nikla Chand. While removing panty? Khulja Sim Sim. While doing sex? Kya Masti Kya Dhoom. After Sex? Kamzor Kadi Kaun? A woman married a one legged man, She wrote to her mother my husband has only ONE FOOT, her mother replied you are lucky, your Papa has only 5 INCHES. 70 WAYS TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY: NUMBER 1 IS SHOPPING AND THE REST IS 69. NEWS FLASH: Our Cricket Team has a new Sponsor STAYFREE SANITARY NAPKINS. The BCCI thought it appropriate since the team is going thru a bad period Husband: Jaan, if u learn the art of cooking, Ill kickout the stupid bawarchi. Wife: & idf u learn the art of fucking, Ill kickout the driver, servant, dog, maali and bawarchi too. What is the difference between Strength and Stamina? Strength is when u can hang a wet towel on your dick; and Stamina is when u can keep it hanging there, till it dries. Doctor: How come your knees are injured? Lady: I was fucked in doggy style. Doctor: Dont u know any other styles? Lady: I know, but my dog doesnt.!!! A lady gave a crumpled Note of Rs. 500 to a shopkeeper. Shopkeeper said: Maam did you keep this Rs. 500 Note in your Bra? Lady: Yes, but how do u know? Shopkeeper: Bcoz Gandhijis mouth is open. Whats common between sun and a womans underwear? Both r hot; Both look good while going down; Both disappear by night. Similarity between Indira Gandhi and Sonia Gandhi Boths BOOBS were sucked by Rajiv Gandhi!!!!!

Difference between a Good Secretary and an Excellent Secretary: Good Secretary says Good Morning Sir; Excellent Secretary says Its Morning Sir. Man: Dr. whenever I look in the mirror, I get an erection. Dr: thats bcoz u look like a CHOOT. On Christmas a small boy called Santa Boy: Give me a brother Santa replied: Send me your mother The SAD LIFE of penis: I only have one eye, my hair is a mess, my skin is wrinkly, my relatives are nuts, my relatives an arsehole and my best friend is a CUNT. Which woman has the biggest vagina in the world? Sunny Deols mother, bcoz Sunny himself said: MEIN NIKLA GADDI LEKE Patient: DocSab, Kya karoon, Mera Lund khada hi nahin hota. Dr.: Kya tumhari shaadi ho gayee? Patient: Nahin. Dr.: Kya tumhari koi Girlfriend hai? Patient: Nahin. Dr.: Kya tum kisi pros ke paas jaate ho? Patient: Nahin. Dr.: TO KYA LUND KHADAA KARKE USPAR APNA COAT TANGEGA!!! Father explaining to Son to not go to prostitutes: Puttar if u go to prostitutes tainu AIDS ho jaayegi, phir teri woti nu., phir mainu., phir teri maa nu. aur phir saare pind (village) nu. A boy had sex with a 90 year old lady and the next day he died. The post-mortem report said: DEATH BCOZ OF DRINKING EXPIRED MILK Arz kiya hai Dhire Se Thoko Sanam, Mehengai Ka Zamaanaa Hai, 6 Inch Ke Lund Ko, Zindagibhar Chalaanaa Hai Chinese Menu: a) Choot Soong b) Suc mi dic c) Lic mi clit d) Tek in hand

e) Chu so ni f) Gulp sum cum g) Fuc sum now h) Choc on it i) Choos ti reh Arz kiya hai Idhar Khuda hai, Udhar Khuda hai, Jidhar dekho Khuda hi Khuda hai, Jidhar nahi Khuda hai, Udhar kal KHUDEGA. Courtsey: Municipal Corporation Beta: Pitaji mujhe bandar dikhaona Pitaji: Abhi nahi Beta: Kyon? Pitaji: Abhi wo mera SMS dekh raha hoga Baby monkey: Mother, Why are we ugly? Mother: Thank God, we look like this, You should see the person reading this message!!! Womens Top 10 Lies: a) I luv u b) I m a virgin c) I hate sex d) U r the first 2 touch me e) OH, its 2 big, never seen b4 f) I hate sucking g) OK, only once Conversation between Bal Thakre and Sonali Bendre: Bal: Sonali BEND-RE!!! Sonali: Bal THOK-RE!!! A man is standing in a bus and a woman is standing behind him with her big boobs touching him. Man: Behenji, apne santare sambhaaliye Woman: Santare mere hain, tumhe kya? Man: Santare to apke hain, par juice to mera nikal raha hai Q. Who is the best goalkeeper in the world? Ans. Of course a woman. Q. How? Ans. No matter what angle you take or how bad u try or what pose u take, THE BALLS ALWAYS REMAIN OUTSIDE!!! Three good manners of Penis:a) Courteous: it stands before performing

b) Emotional: it cries during performance c) Polite: it bows down after the performance CONDOM says to STAYFREE: When u work, my business is loss for 4 days. STAYFREE replies: If u fail to work once, my business stops for 9 months If Lord krishna flirts people say Raas Leela, And if we flirtCHARACTER DHEELA, Who kare to hua Chamatkar, Hum karen to BALAATKAAR Never play with womans heart, she has only one. You can play with her TITS, she has TWO. A Sardar bunks office and comes home, Finds his wife in bed with his Boss, Rushes back to Office, Tells his Colleagues: I almost got caught bunking!!! Conductor: Bacchay ka full ticket lagega!! Village Lady: Yeh to abhi choochi peeway hai! Conductor: Choochi to iska Baap bhi peeway hai, uska bhi adha legi!!! I hv 1, u hv 1, ur mother uses ur fathers 1, aunt uses uncles 1, chinese hav short, Indians hv long, do u hv 1? How long is ur 1? STUPID!! Im talking about SURNAME!!! She came at night, Explored my body, Got on top of me, Touched me, She bit, Sucked, Swallowed, When she was satisfied, She left, I was hurt STUPID MOSQUITO!!! A couple had 3 sons names rahmat-e-elahi, barkst-e-elahi and mehboob-e-elahi, When the 4th son was born, they decided to name him BUS-KAR-e-ELAHI!!! AATI THI - JAATI THI HASTI THI - HASAATI THI

BHAAGTI THI - BHAGAATI THI DEKHTI THI - MUSKURAATI THI AB PATAA CHALAA SAALI CHUTIYA BANAATI THI

L o v e Y o u r M o m...
When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you. You thanked her by crying all night long. When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk. You thanked her by running away when she called. When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love. You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor. When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons You thanked her by coloring the dining room table. When you were 5 years old, she dressed you for the holidays. You thanked her by plopping into the nearest pile of mud. When you were 6 years old, she walked you to school. You thanked her by screaming, "I'M NOT GOING!" When you were 7 years old, she bought you a baseball. You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbor's window. When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice-cream. You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap. When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons. You thanked her by never even bothering to practice. When you were 10 years old she drove you all day, from soccer to gymnastics to one birthday party after another. You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back. When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she told you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked her by waiting until she left the house. Those Teenage Years When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming. You thanked her by telling her she had no taste. When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter. When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked. When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you could. When you were 17, she was expecting an important call. You thanked her by being on the phone all night. When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn. Growing Old and Gray When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus, carried your bags. You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends. When you were 20, she asked whether you were seeing anyone. You thanked her by saying, "It's none of your business." When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future. You thanked her by saying, "I don't want to be like you." When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation. You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe. When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment. You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly. When you were 24, she met your fiance and asked about your plans for the future. You thanked her by glaring and growling, "Muuhh-ther, please!"

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you. You thanked her by moving halfway across the country. When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby. You thanked her by telling her, "Things are different now." When you were 40, she called to remind you of a relative's birthday. You thanked her by saying you were "really busy right now." When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children. And then, one day...................... she quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder.

ek baap aur usske do bete gaon main woh the rehete, barde bete ki hogayi thi shadi, apni woti abhi nahin thi chodi, umer se woti abhi thi bachhi, usski choot abhi thi kachhi, gauna usska abhi nahin hua, gaune ki mangta tha roz dua, ek din susral se aaya niyota, gauna kar woti ko liwa leja, chal raha tha buyayi ka kaam, woh chord na sakta tha gram, bapu meri talwar le kar chale jao, isske sung gauna kar woti ko le ao, jab laut rahe the woti aur bapu, jungal ki sarhad ho gayi shuru, hone bhi laga ab kuch andhera,

aaj raat ko daalenge yahin dera, ek qunye ke pas dono let gaye sone, lagi unke ke dil main hulchul hone, woti ke man main ho rahi thi gudgudi, usski bur main bhi ho rahi thi khujali, aaj raat ko chudai ke dekhe the sapne, kya karti lagi woh karwatein badalne, mere pas leti hai ek nayi naveli choot, chod kar isse kyon na anand loon loot, jab kiya woti se chudai ka anurodh, woti na kar paayi kuch zaada virodh, bapu ne shuru kiya chudai ka dhanda, pel diya woti ki kori bur main danda, jab kar rahe the woh dono chudai, ghordon ki taap unhain pardi sunai mere bete humain lene hain aaye. yeh jaan kar dono barde ghabraye, let jaate jaisse duss gaya ho saanp, chod rahe the nahin payenge bhaanp, hai jab milli, mari hui woh hai pardi, isse chodne ki hasrat na hogi poori, bhaiya, bhabi ka badan hai abhi garam, chod lo isse, aapko kiss ki hai sharam, bhaiya jab laga woti ko chodene, mazaa aaya woti ko lagi woh hilne, teri bhabi chodene se hogayi zinda, ab mujhe nahin hai koyi bhi chinta, bhaiya bapu ki gaand ko bhi maro, shayad baap ko bhi zinda kar pao, bapu ki gaand main laura diya daal, pahele dhake pe maari bapu ne chaal,

haramzade nikaal gaand main se laura, baap hoon main tera khayal kar thorda, apni acchi kismat per sab lage kush hone, lakin chota bhai hai laga jor jor se rone, agar bhai ke lund ka gunn pahele se jaante, batao phir amma ko kyon hum marne dete. doston yeh kahani hai bardi hee purani, jisse aapne aaj sunni sahebji ke zubani.

ik larki rap ke bd police ke pass gai or kehne lagy girl: likho pehle us ne meri kameez utary phir us ne meri shameez utary phir us ne mera brest utara phir us ne meri shalwaar utaary phir us mujhe ulta kerke meri gand main ..

police : chup maa ki lory F.I.R likhwane aai hai ya mere land ka imtehaan lene aai hai

SUHAG RATWIFE: Pechay Nahi Aage daltay hain Husband: Tumhen Kese pta? WIFE: Mera dost mere Age dalta tha Husband: Tu chup kar,Mera dost mere peche dalta tha

sex k ik teacher ne class ki ik girl student say kaha k phudii ki tasveer banaoo

girl sharma kar nechay dekhne lagii ik larka khara ho kar boola sar dekhoo ma ki lorri nakal marr rahii hai

MUJE NAHI CHODTA HAHI.AAP CHODO MERI SHUHAG RAAT MERE PATI KE DOST EK MUSLIM NI KI THI.MENE APNE PATI KE SAMNE APNA SEEL TODA THA.VO BOHAT SEXY THA. BOHAT GANDI GANDI GALI DETA THA.MERA PATI USKA PANI PI JATA THA. USNE BACHA PEDA KIYA HAI.EK RAAT MERI NANAD NE MUJE CHUDVATE DEKH LIYA THA.MERI PATI KAA LAND 4 INCH HAI. MUJE NAHI CHODTA HAHI.AAP CHODO.meri chut fad do. mere pati ke samne tumari rand - rakhel bana do.

My Sister and her Master i saw my sister fucking her master with his hands on her breasts and her hip bearing his thrusts. he began to hunt her still moist cunt. she began to moan out of pleasure and pain.

but he didn't stop ripping her hole with a rock hard pole. shot after shot he tore her spot. with every stroke he broke her depth and silence she was crying and he was striking she cried aloud and at last he shot his load. NAMES OF NEW SEX MINISTERS
1. RUSSIAN SEX MINISTER : ZABERDASTI BOOBPRESSKI 2. SRILANKAN SEX MINISTER :SUCK MY LINGAM 3. CHINESE RUSSIAN SEX MINISTER : GAAND SOONG LI 4. ARABIAN SEX MINISTER : SHEKE MY BOOB

Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with > their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill > the woman who does. > Man: Sex ho jaye? > Wife: No.

> > > > > > >

Man: Jewar le dunga. Wife: No. Man: Car le dunga. Wife: No, No, No. Beta so raha tha, bich me bola, Meri marlo, Cycle la dena.

Laughing Time
Q: What is the resemblance between a woman and a condom? A: They both fit around your dick and are present in your wallet.

Q: Why does a woman have two pair of lips? A: One is for fighting and one is to make up..

Lady 2 Maid: Tu saare kaam mein bekaar hai! Bai: Bister mein to aap se aachi hoon! Lady: Tujhe saab ne bola kya? Bai: Nahin, driver bol raha tha!

Suhagrat ke time darvaze pe dastak hoti hai toh dulhan bhag k parde ke peeche chup jati hai. Husband: Kya hua? Dulhan: Mujhe laga police ki raid par gai.

Son kills a butterfly. Dad: No butter for 2 weeks. Son kills a honeybee. Dad: No honey for 2 weeks. Mom kills a cockroach. Son: Dad u tell her or should I?

 Man: Bless me God! My son is drug addict, my daughter is a call girl, my wife is a gambler. God: Is anything +ve in ur family? Man: Im HIV positive.

Unborn twins in the mothers stomach saw a penis. 1st Baby: Dekh Papa aa rahe hai. 2nd: Abe stupid, ye pados wale uncle hai, papa kabhi raincoat nahi pehante.

Rosemary divorced Mr.Lele b'coz she was sick of telling her name,"Roz Meri Lele." Imagine her tough luck, she was re-married to Mr. Marlow

Husband: Jee karta hai ki tumhari zulfon mein kho jaaon, tumhare aankhon mein bas jaaon, tumhari bahon mein jhool jaon. Wife: Neeche kya mohalle wale ghusengey?

A Lady Rector of a Ladies hostel was fond of using English language though she was not good in English. She was also fond of using very small sentences to communicate. Always in hurry she used to create lots if funny situations.Once the electricity of her ladies hostel went off at midnight that too during the examination season. She immediately contacted electricity board's complaints office over phone and placed instant demand saying. " Lights gone in our ladies hostel. Send Men immediately. Girls using candles."

Wife n Mobile:
1) Dono hi dusro ke achche lagte hai. 2) Dono hi naye achche lagte hai.

3) Dono ko hi raat bhar charge karna padta hai. 4)Donon ko daikh kay dil chahta hay kay agar thora time aur ruk jata to naya model mil jata. 5) Doosron ko doge to chud kar wapis melenge

Wife : Ek baat bolu?? Husband : Bolo Wife : Maaroge to nahi? Husbund : Nahi to, kya baat hai? Wife : mai pregnant hun Husband : Hurray!!! Its gud news, dar kyu rahi thi?? Wife : College ke dino mai papa ko bataya tha to badi maar padi thi

The sky was dark the moon was high all alone just her and I Her hair so soft her eyes so blue I knew just what she wanted to do

Her skin so soft her legs so fine I ran my fingers down her spine I didn't know how but I tried my best to place my hand on her breast I remember my fear my fast beating heart but slowly she spread her legs apart And when she did I felt no shame as all at once the white stuff came At last it was finished it's all over now, my first time... milking a cow.

Mother: Do u know the meaning of Mangalsutra? Daughter: Yes, it is the license to enjoy Kamasutra.

Dentist didnt get erection on wedding night so he used finger. Wife: What's this? Nothing honey, just a temporary filling

A man was charged with Necrophilia (having sex with a dead woman). The judge said; I havnt seen such disgusting case in 20 years. Can you give me one good reason why you did it? Man: I can give 3 reasons.It non of ur business, she was my wife and I didnt know she was dead as she always acted like that.

Pappu meets his father in red light area. Pappu: Papa aap yahan? Father: Bus beta ab 200-300 Rs ki cheez k liye teri maa k nakhre nahi sahe jate.

Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.

Man: Sex ho jaye? Wife: No. Man: Jewar le dunga. Wife: No. Man: Car le dunga. Wife: No, No, No.

Beta so raha tha, bich me bola, Meri marlo, Cycle la dena.

Every married man keeps wondering every evening: Should I go out and look at what I cannot fuck or....Stay home and fuck what I cannot look at....

A man stands nude in front of a mirror n examines himself: I wish 2 inches more & I'll b a king. Wife sitting behind: I think 2 inches less & ull b a queen.

Wife bought a new transparent Bra, wore in front of her hubby.. Hubby: Issme tum bahut sexy lag rahi ho. Wife: Pata hai ! Salesman bhi yehi keh raha tha.

Q: Why do most women sleep in the afternoon ? A: So that they can screw the tired man all night and blame him for poor performance! !

boy ASKING:

SUN CHODI SUN LAUND KI DHUN DE DE APNI CHUT NAHI TO PAD JAYANGE GHUN SUN CHODI SUN

girl REPLYING:

KOI HASENA KABHI AISE CHDWATI NAHI LODA MAJBOOT NA HO TO GHUSWATI NAHI

MAMME BHI YUJH PE WARA HAIN CHOOT BHI TUJH PE HI WAROONGI TU JAB BHI CHAHEGA TUJH SE HE CHUDWAYONGI LUND KE YE RESHE TO MOTE KAR KAR

1450, Baby Food 300, Doctor 950, Medicine 800, Toys 600, Diapers 200, Gripewater 200, Powder 500, Soap Total Rs.5000/-Or CondomRs.5/- Faisla Aap Per Hai..?

Teacher ne Brazer nahi Pehni thi aur Blouse k 2 Button khul gaye. Ye dekh kar 2 Larkay Hasne lagay. Teacher: "Hanso mat nahi to"DONO" ko Bahar Nikal Doongi"
masoom bachha teacher:::-- -- make this sentence in this word '''hand''' student ::--- my penis in your hand..

teacher ""-- slap him"" student ::-- sorry teacher pen ke bad space dena bhul gaya tha....

Recommended Dosage of VIAGRA New Girl friend: No need, Old G/f: 1/2 tablet, Mistress: 1 tablet, Wife: 2 tabs + whisky + blue film + will power + her permission. Wife: Muje lagta hai apka Rita k saath najayaz rishta hai. Hubby: Ye tum kaise keh sakti ho? Wife: Kal jab uske husband aye, to apki underwerr pehne huye the.

A time comes in life when your wife begins to trust you. It doesnt mean that you have become Enlightened. It doesnt mean that you have turned a Saint. It just means that you have lost your hunting abilities; she is convinced that you cannot even catch a running tortoise, leave aside a PUSSY.

Wife 2 naked husband: Why r u walking around, the neighbors can see ur thing? Husband: So what? Wife: They'll think I married u for MONEY! Wife A: I hate my Engineer husband. Erect & Erect. Wife B: I Hate my Doc husband. Inject & Inject. Wife C: U both r lucky, mine is judge Tarik pe Tarikh ( DATE on DATE) On their first night: Husband: Is it really ur first night? Wife: No... No...Actually it is first time at night. Woman was having pain during delivery. Husband prayed: Oh Lord! Please make it lose for the Baby and then tight for the Daddy Doc: Reports have got mixed up. I don't know if ur wife has AIDS or Alzheimer.

Man: What shld I do? Doc: Drop her in the middle of town, if she comes back DON'T FUCK her..

Larki: Tum Honeymoon ke liye kahan kahan gayi thi? Saheli: Murree, Abbottabad, Nathiagali aur Bhurban. Ladki: Accha, kya kya dekha ? Saheli: only "CEILING FAN"

Dulha "on wedding.Ask from dulhan,do u have any boyfrnd b4 marriage? Dulhan:silent dulha:me is khamoshi ko kya samjhon? Dulhan:kaminey! Ginnay to de

Sexy Malika Sharawat asked Rani & Ash :

Mere marney k baad meri Qabar ki Takhti pe kia likha hoga ?

Instant Reply : PEHLI BAR AKELI SO RAHI HAI

Personality of a female follows the size of her BRA 32=Innocent 34=Calm 36=Agressive 38=Playful

40=Sexy

& 42= Pakistani Filmstar saima.

JAISEY LOHAY KO LOHA KATTA HAI,SONAY KO SONA KATTA HAY,HEERAY KO HEERA, ZEHER KO ZEHER,AISEY HEE AIK DIN TERAI KO ''KUTTA''KATEY GAA.... __________________

Chairman Electric company ne Sex k Doran Apni Biwi se pocha: Bol na Meri Jan, Tujhe kia Gham hay ? Biwi Boli : Sartaj , Load Ziada Aur Voltage kam hay.. __________________
Kid: Aunty! Mummy ny cheeni mangi hai

Aunty cheeni dety hue: "Acha aur kya kaha mummy ne?"

Kid: "Agr wo kameeni na dey to Pinky Aunty se le aana..."

Bus bhi karo AB

Girl : Bus bhi karo AB! Boy : Kuch bhi nahi hota! Girl : kisi NE dekh liya to? Boy : kuch nahi hoga bus sedhi raho aur thora khol kar rakho! Girl : bus bohat hogaya AB mein thumain nahi karne dongi Boy : please thora as aur karne do! Agar aaj paper na kar saka to mein fail ho jaonga :p

**1 baar ek ladka apni dur ke aunty ke ghar gaya ** > > **use der ho gayi ** > > **Aunty boli beta aaj raat tu Guddu ke paas so ja. ** > > **Boy thought-choddo yaar ** > > **bahar so jata hun. ** > > **next morning a beautiful girl brings tea for him. ** > > **Boy asked tum kaun ho? ** > > **Girl- main "Guddu" . Aap kaun? ** > > **Boy- main

CHUTIA

. **

Geeta Ne Chudwaya
karti thi mere ghar main kaam, geeta tha usska pyaara sa naam, usski umer thi abhi thordi kacchi, aissi hee lagti hain mujhe achchi, ankhein thi moti, chuchi choti, shaitan thi aur thi bahut khoti, usse chodene ko karta tha mera dil, lekin koyi mauka na raha tha mil, gharwale sab gaye ek din baazar, poora hua tha aaj mera intezaar, maine geeta ko apne pas bulaya, pyaar se apni godh main baithaya, usski chuchiyon ko laga dabane, usska dil laga zoronse ghabrane, usski bur per maine lagaya haath, apni jaange ussne dabaali saath, yeh saabji nahin kar rahe achcha, kya hoga yeh aapne nahin socha, kahin mujhe ho jayega bachcha, maa khaa jayegi mujhe kachcha, usse dheere se apne seene lagaya, chuchi daabte huye usse samjhaya, theek waqt per lund lunga nikaal, laurde ke beej ka rakhunga khyaal, laga main usski chuchiyan dabane,

dheere dheere usski choot sehrane, ussko bhi kuch laga achcha lagne, phir laga main usske kapdre uttarne, kameez uttari, khol di usski salwar, dekhene laga usska choot ka dwaar, aaram se kiya maine phir usse nanga, aur chodene ke liye nikala apna danda, choot per laga laudra diya ander vard, ek hee jhatke main di usski bur phard, hai! dard hoga aur bahega itna khoon, na phardwati, hota agar yeh maaloom, aage peeche karne laga main apna lund, chudai aane lagi geeta ko bhi ab pasund, aur jor jor se chodo mujhe mere saab, ab chudai nahin lag rahi hai kharaab, nahin nikalna meri bur se apna laudra, jab tak chudai ko na karlo aap poora chodete jao saabji, lag raha hai achcha, dar nahin mujhe ho jaane do bachcha, lund bur main hai ab kayeki sharam, ho raha hai mujhe aaj jorka orgasm, amrit laudre ne diya choot main daal, chudai khatam kari lund liya nikaal, aaj poori hui meri choot ki muraad, rahegi yeh paheli chudayi sada yaad, saab ji main bataoon aap ko ek raaz, mujh per na hona aap kahin naraaz,

saab ji yaad karo aap pichali diwali, saheli lekar aayi thi apke dost ki sali, pahele gauri ki choot aapne phardi, phir baari baari dono ki bur maari, uss din khirdki se rahi thi jhaank, ched per laga rakkhi thi ek aankh, sab dekh behene lagi meri phuddi, dekhte dekhte bheegi meri chaddi, choot main hone lagi thi jor ki khujali, aaram mila jab daali ussme do ungali, ussi din se dil main thi ek hee khwaish, kab karenge aap meri bur ki farmaish, aaj sab log gaye baaher ghar tha empti, aisse mauke ko haath se na nikalne deti, agar aap na bulaate tau khud chali aati, koyi bahana bana main aap se chudwati, jab aaj aapne mujhe bulaya apne pas, socha aaj mittayenge saabji bur ki pyas, jab chudwana tha kyon ki itni ana kani, saab ji maaf karna yeh thi meri shaitani, teri iss harkat ka milega tujhe sakht dund, gaand marunga, chusswaoonga apna lund, lund chusswayaa aur maari geeta ki gaand, geeta ki chudai ka phir khatam kiya kaand, bardi achchi lagi mujhe saabji yeh sazaa, issme bhi aaya mujhe dher sara mazaa,

karungi dil jaan se main roz aapki sewa, sahebji khaungi roz aapke lund ki mewa.

Maadarchod
GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a Maadarchod. PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that? GIRL: Well, he kissed me. PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this? The psychiatrist kissed the girl GIRL: ...... Yes! PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a Madrchod. GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top. PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this? The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl's top GIRL: Yes! PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a Madrchod.

GIRL: But, he took my clothes off. PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this? The psychiatrist took off the girl's clothes GIRL: Yes! PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a Madrchod. GIRL: But, he had sex with me! PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this? The psychiatrist had sex with the girl GIRL: .Yes! PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a Madrchod. GIRL: But, then he told me he has AIDS. PSYCHIATRIST: Maadarchod !!!!!

A man from Bihar was away from his wife for four (4) years while his wife was in Patna (Bihar). At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son. His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "Happy

event" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years... The man said it is common in Bihar that neighbours take care of the wife (good Samaritans) when men are away. The colleagues asked him, "What name will you give to the son?" The man explained, "If its the second neighbour who has taken care,then the name would be "DWIVEDI"; If it is the third neighbour then it would be "TRIVEDI", If it is the fourth neighbour then it would be "CHATURVEDI" ; If its the fifth neighbour then it would be "PANDEY"... After listening to this, questions followed. What if it is a mixture of neighbours? "Then the boy would be named "MISHRA"... And what if the wife is too shy to tell the name of the neighbour? Then it would be "SHARMA"... But what if she refuses to divulge the name of the neighbour? Then the name of the child would be "GUPTA"... If she does not remember the name then? "It is "YAAD-AV" But who knows whether the child resulted from a rape? Then it will be named "DOSHI"... Finally, if the child happened because of wife's burning desire? Then he will be named "JOSHI"... And if the whole country had made efforts for the happy arrival?.... "DESHPANDEY" .

Akbar ki biwi ke bade bade mamme the...sab darbariyon ki nazaar Mrs Akbar per thi ki kab bhendhod dabane ko mil jaye or kab suck karne ko mil jaye, lekin kisike gand mein himmat nahi hoti ki...after all Akbar ki biwi thi..kuch kiya toh gand lag jayegi... Ek darbari Aslam Khan bada hi chodu tha...woh birbal se minnat karta hai ki "Yaar birbal kuch kar lekin mereko mamme ke darshan karwa de...joh tu mangega woh de dunga." Birbal bolta hai "Theek

hai boshdike...tera intazaam karta hu.Lekin apne promise yaad rakhna." Aslam Khan bolta hai "Theek hai nahi bhulunga" Toh ek din jab Mrs Akbar nahati hai toh birbal chupke se uske bra mein khujli ka powder daal deta hai.Maharani bra pehanati hai aur mamme khujana lagti hai...khujati hai..khujati hai...rukhti hai nahi..Akbar pareshan ho jaata hai.Birbal se discuss karta hai ki kya kiya jaye.Kisiko bata bhi nahi sakte nahi toh sab hasenge aur naak cut jayegi... Birbal idea deta hai ki Aslam khan ki jabaan aur uski thunki bahut powerful hai.Usko try karte hai...Toh aslam khan aata hai Mrs akbar ke room mein aur chahiye waise mamme suck karta hai...dabata hai.Khush ho jaata hai.Program hone ke baad Akbar khush ho jaata hai aur usse 1/4 kingdom de dalta hai.Birbal bolta hai chal mereko usme se 1/2 de.Aslam Khan kehta hai bhag boshdike nahi toh teri gand maar dunga. Birbal bolta hai bhenchod merese gaddari.Tujhe sabak sikhana padega. Toh agle din jab Akbar nahane jaata hai toh Birbal chupke se Akbar ke underwear mein khujli ka powder daal deta hai..

BASTARD GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD. PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that? GIRL: Well, he kissed me. PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this? ( The psychiatrist kissed the girl ) GIRL: ......Yes! PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD. GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top. PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this? ( The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl's top ) GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD. GIRL: But, he took my clothes off. PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this? ( The psychiatrist took off the girl's clothes ) GIRL: Yes! PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD. GIRL: But, he had sex with me! PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this? ( The psychiatrist had sex with the girl ) GIRL: .Yes! PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD. GIRL: But, then he told me he has AIDS. PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD!!!!! __________________

Poem on lund:
> Land tum khade raho, > Chut main pade raho. > Land jab prachand ho, > To chut khand-khand ho. > Land tum khade chalo, > Land tum badhe chalo. > Samne darar ho, > Gand ka pahad ho. > Land tum ruko nahi, > Land tum jhuko nahi. > Chut charmara uthe, > Jhant kasmasa uthe. > Agni sa dhadak dhadak, > Chut me sarak-sarak. > Jab tak chut phate nahi,

> Tab tak land hate nahi. > Chut ko tu phad de, > Uske ander jhaad de. > Land tum mahan ho, > Sarv shaktimaan ho. > Jai lund

Arz Kiya hi

1) daru se dosti lever ko khatra randi se dosti lund ko khatra mere se dosti gaand ko khatra MUJHSE DOSTI KAROGE 2) Waqt nahi ab rone ka Waqt hai baccha hone ka tab kyoun nahi royin thi jab chipak chipak key soi thi jab kiya hai to bharo tab kahti thi aur karo aur karo 3) Best shayri of the world: Ji karta hai main choom loon uski Tatti main pare us matar k dane ko, kambakht wo to kam se kam uske

labo se hokar gujra hoga. 4) Kuch kasme kiye the, kuch vaade kiye the, milenge har kidki darwaje ke peeche, ae bewafa ek baar tu kah de mujhe Raja teri choot ka main baja doonga bazaa... 5) To answer the SMS: Atak pe Fatak Fatak pe Jaupda (hut) tu kya shayari marega tere maa kaa bhoosda 6) Jahpaneh ek sher pesh karte hain... main nikla unki gali main nikla unki gali Pet main aithen hui aur dhad se pakhana hua.. 7) cham cham karti aayi wo cham cham karti chali gayi wo tu lund khole khara tha KLPD kar gayi wo (KLPD:khare lund par dhoka) 8)

Ladka ladki dono lafange, Ek Palang pe dono Nange, Ladke ko lagi thand, Usne nikala apna lund, Ladki ne tange kholi, AUr boli Belated Happy Holi! 9) Paaro aur Chandramukhi ka noor app pe barse,har koi aap ke saath sone ko tarse,aapke jeevan main aayein itni ladkiyan ki aap CHADDHI pahen ne ko trase 10) Yaar ajab tere nkhare,gazab tera style hain, gand dhone ki tameez nahi, haath main mobile hai.

Jokes

1) Yeh LADKI bhi ajeeb cheez hai yaar, zara sa kuch KAHO to mooh foola deti hai aur zara sa kuch KARO to pait foola deti hai !!! 2) why did Miss Rosemary changed her name after marrying Mr. Lele ? B'coz she did not want her to be called as " ROZ MERI LELE..... "

3) First 4 days of girls: 1. Love me , Don't t! ouch me. 2. Touch me , Don't kiss me. 3. Kiss me , Don't fuck me. 4. Fuck me , Don't forget me. 4) What is the similarity between LULLA & CHULLA ? Both r used by Indian Women on daily basis! 5) Touch it gently .. Put ur finger inside.. If hole is big put three fingers.... Rub it up & down gently... ............ ......... ......... ......... ..that's the right way of washing the glass !!!!! 6) What is the similarity between a PENIS and a IODEX ? ...."andar tak jaaye, garmahat laaye, aaraam dilaye...." 7) Prosti :" 200 rupay loongi! , hil- hil ke doongi. " Client :" 100 rupay doonga, hil main khud loonga...... " 8) Girls says LADKAY 'TUNG' KARTE HAIN. Boys says THIS IS BLAME ON US, HUM TO 'KHULLI' KARTE HAIN.......! 9) Doctor says: Penis is the greatest breakfast because it has a mushroom head,2 eggs and cream, which provides all the nutreints to make women healthy.

10) Teacher saw PENIS written on the Blackboard, she rubs it off.. Next day, it was written bigger ,she rubs it again . Next day it was written: MORE U RUB , LARGER IT GROW......

11) Dur gaon ki basti thi, Randiyan jahan basti thi, Unke choot me badi masti thi, Jitna daalo hasti thi, Tum itne kyon haste ho,
Kya tum bhi usi gaon me baste ho ?

jokes

1) Man goes to the RED LIGHT area. Madame inquire:" r u married ?" He replied :"What difference does it make ?" She said:"We are here to serve the needy & not the greedy !" 2) How do u recognize a SARDAR in school ? They are the ones who erase their notebooks when th! e teacher erases the blackboard !! 3) Ho gayee hai night , bund kar de light. lund kar de tight, fuddi se kar ab fight. nikaal de white- white, tatte ho jayenge light, U will feel alright..... ......... ....... SWEAT DREAMS & GOOD NIGHT !

4) Top 5 TV programmes : 1 . kaun marega kisi ki fuddi. 2. kyun ki saas bhi kabhi chudi thi. 3. chuttar faadh ke. 4. kahani lun- lun ki.... 5. Ek mahal ho mommo ka.. 5 Come here, take of ur pants & knickerz, get on the top of me. enjoy until u get statisfied.. Lovingly urs-----, " I-----TOILET ". 6) What is the similarity between Sonia Gandhi & Indira Gandhi ? Ans : Both's BREAST are sucked by Rajiv Gandhi. 7) Father : " which part of the body goes to the heaven first ? Kid : " legs " Father :" why ?" Kid : 'coz I see mom every night with her legs up & screeming -"oh god ! I am in heaven." 8) A Rocket & a Plane meet after ages. Plane says:" yaar rocket tu itni tez raftaar se kaise udh jate ho?" Rocket replies "yeh toh wohi jaane jis ke gand main AAG lagi ho...." 9)

PUSSY PUSSY LITTLE STAR LET ME RUB U IN THE SALWAAR UP ABOVE THE LEGS SO HIGH ALWAYS WET NEVER DRY ....COME ON BABY DON'! T FEEL SHY GIVE ME BABY ONE MORE TRY !!!!!!!!!!!! !! 10) Man to a Lady, " apne santray sambhaliyeji, they disturb me." Angrily she replies," Tumko kya, santray mere hain. " Man :" haan! par juice to mera nikal raha hai ! " 11) Ek bar raabdi devi lalu ke gand per tabla baja rahi thi, Jab tabla bajana band huaa tab lalu palta aur bola le aab pungi baja

JABARDAST "FAADU" Chutkuley 1) Man 2 wife : "business is going down,if u learn to cook,we can remove bavarchi." wife : "asshole, if u learn to fuck, we can remove driver, Gardener & watchman!!!! !!!!" 2) Love is not measured by hugging, kissing & sex . luv is respect & trust, accepting a person with open legs.. closed eyes.. wet lips.. saying "push it more"- 2 3) Subah-2 jab khirki kholay, fruitwala zore se bole: 8 rupay ke 12 kelay, kum paray to mera lelay. 4) Sex life of a couple according to ages:--

18+ DINRAAT 28+ ROZRAAT 38+ JUMERAAT 48+ CHANDRAAT 58+ JAJBAAT AUR GAL BAAT. 5) A chinese doctor says a woman has 5 rooms :Face is Showroom Breast is Playroom Stomach is Store room Vagina is a Guest room Ass is a Emergency room. 6) What is the similarity between man & mouse ? = Both of them are in the search of hole ! 7) The brains of madras, beauty of bengal, wealth of gujrat & strength of punjab. :: :: translation: madras di buddi, bangal di fuddi, gujrat da dhan te punjab da lun. 8) Iss jahan main aae ho to ,kuch aaisa kar jaao kadardaan, jiss gali se guzro, aawaaz aae --"ABBAJAAN - ABBAJAAN" 9) A goodfriend is like a good bra.. hard to find, very comfortable, supportive, holds u up when r down & always close to the heart. good day, dear bra... 10) why r women considered stronger than men ? ans: b'coz they carry 2 mountains on their chest whereas men carry just 2 stones with the help of crane!

Game Baza Dala

Ek area mein Bhai rehta hai, Chaman Bhai.. Ab uskey area mein jo bhi koi lafda hota hai to police se pehle Chaman Bhai ki adalat mein jaata hai.... Ek baar Chaman Bhai ke area mein rape ho jata hai, aur jisney game bajayi hoti hai ukso pakad ke Chaman Bhai ke paas leke jatey hain... Chaman Bhai pehley to bahut shanti se, style mein, us sey baat karta hai... kuch is tarah se... Chaman : Kya re ? Tere ko maloom nahi yeh apun ka area hai? Mujrim : Haan maloom hai na bhai. Chaman : Phir kaisey himmat ki rape karne ki apun ke area mein? Mujrim : Ab kya boloon bhai, kismat kharab thi. Chaman : Chal mere ko sub kuch sach sach bata kya aur kaisey hua? Mujrim : Abhi kya na.. Idhar naake pe apun paan khaney ke liye aaya... Chaman : Phir ? Murjim : Apun khade hokey paan kharela tha... aur utney mein samney wali building pe apun ki nazar gayi... Chaman : Aage bol Mujrim : Udhar teesrey maaley pe ek chikni khadi hui thi Chaman : Phir kya hua ? Mujrim : Apun ko aisa laga ke usney ishaara kiya aaney ke liye.. Chaman : Phir tuney kya kiya ? Mujrim : Apun socha ke kuch kaam hoyenga usko..... to apun builidng ke neeche gaya Chaman : Phir ? Mujrim : Usney Isharey se apun ko upar bulaaya... apun seedi chadte yehich sochrela tha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda

nahi karne ka" Chaman : Chal fatafat aagey bol Mujrim : Apun ne usko jaakey bola.... kya kaam hai.. kaiko ishara kiya apun ko? Chaman : Phir ? Mujrim : Phir kya bhai, apun ko usney ghar ke andar kheech liya Chaman : (Excited) Phir ? Mujrim : Apun ghar me to chala gaya lekin soch raha tha ki "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka" Chaman : Aagey bol Mujrim : Usney apun ka haath pakad liya Chaman : Accha... Phir? Mujrim : Sachchi bolta hai bhai haath pakadtey hi apun phir socha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai...... Lafda nahi karne ka" Chaman : Phir kya hua ? Mujrim : Phir kya tha... Usney bola chikney meri pyaas bujha de Chaman : Phir tu kya bola (Getting Excited) ? Mujrim : Apun kya bolta, usne apna duppata neechey gira diya Chaman : To phir kya hua ? Mujrim : Apun ke dimag ki dahi ho gaya, kya mammey (boobs) they saali ke...lekin bhai phir bhi apun socha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka" Chaman : Phir tuney kya kiya ? Mujrim : Apun bola ek-do kiss karega aur chala jayega..... zyada boli to body kaam karenga lekin engine nahi kholney ka.... Aakhir, "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka" Chaman : Toh phir ? Mujrim : Usney apun ko kheech liya.... sacchi bolta hai bhai aisi katil jawaani apun akkhi life me nahi dekha.

Chaman : Haan, woh to hai.... Tu aage bol (Starts to heat up) Mujrim : Phir kya tha.... apun ne kiss kiya, mammey (boobs) bhi dabaya... lekin imaan se bolta hai, soch raha tha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka" Chaman : Aagey bol ? Mujrim : Phir usney apni kameez utar di Chaman : Phir ? Mujrim : Phir salwar, lekin apun ke dil me ekich khayal aa raha tha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai.... Lafda nahi karne ka" Chaman : Aagey aagey ? Mujrim : phir blouse aur chaddi saali ne sab utar di Chaman : sahi mein? Mujrim : phir meri pant keech li Chaman : Accha ? Mujrim : meri underwear mein haath dal diya Chaman : oh !! Mujrim : chaddi utar di meri, lekin apun phir bhi socha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka" Chaman : (Getting frustrated). . Mujrim : Phir woh haath phiraaney lagi Chaman : (Half Boiling) Mujrim : phir mooh ghumaaney lagi..... phir bhi apun yehi soch raha tha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka" Chaman: (About to blast) Aagey... aagey bol saley... Mujrim: Chumney Chatney lagi bhaaaaiiii.. ...lekin bhai kasam se......main yehi soch raha tha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka" Chaman: Abey teri to... Chaman Bhai Gaya Maa Chudaney.... . tu aage bol !

Mujrim : Yehich...... yehich - apun ne bhi yehi socha bhai.....aur game baja dala.!!! __________________

Exhibition
Ek couple - ek raat apni mast chudai khatam karke relax the.... Wife : dear kal hamne chudai ki, aur mai mood me so gayi, to raat me maine ek sapna dekha. Hus : achha, kya dakha? wife : maine dekha ki mai ek EXHIBITION me gayi thi. hus : kaisa exhibition? wife : vo ek LUND ka exhibition tha. bahut mast mast lund the, lambe, mote aur kadak lund the vaha. hus : kya mera lund bhi tha usme? wife : ha.... tha to sahi.... ek kone me sikudke pada tha. Husband kuchh bola nahi, dono haske so gaye. Dusre din fir raat ko dono ki chudai hui, aur fir hus : darling maine bhi kal ek sapna dekha wife : achha, kya dekha? hus : mai bhi ek EXHIBITION me gaya tha, CHOOT ka exhibition, sirf choote hi choote wife : achha, fir hus : kya mast chute thi, gori gori, chikni, tight kasi, mulayam chute..... vah... maza aa

gaya. wife : meri choot bhi hogi hi, nahi? hus : are yaar, usee me to exhibition laga tha.

Ram Leela
Once in Delhi a "RAM Leela" was about to take place. The scene which was to take place was that Hanuman was supposed to get sanjivini booti for Laxman. Unfortunately on that day Hanuman got sick so the organisers took another replacement from near by state Haryana, a "jaat" who was requested to perform. He was nervous of performing the feat on rope to go and get sanjivini booti. But he tried and suddenly the rope broke and he fell on Ram in front of public. To save the scene Ram says: "HEY DAAS, YEH KAISAA MILAN" Hanuman replies in a typical Jaat language: "DAAS KI MAA KA BHOSDA MILAN KI MAA KI CHUT BEES FOOT SE GIRA HUN GAAND GAYI MERI TOOT MAA CHUDANE GAYI TERI SANJIVINI BOOTI LUND KE SAATH DO GOTI BHI TOOTI YEH BATA PEHLE RASSI KAISE TOOTI"

I am Sure u will like it

Munni woh din yaad karo jab hum tum sath nahate the, tum chut pe sabun malti thi , hum land pe jhag udate the. Munna woh din beet gaye , jab hum tum sath nahate the, ab chut chupane ki bari hai, munni bharat ki nari hai.

Munni woh din yaad karo jab hum tum sath sote the, tum chut mein kheti karti thi , hum land pe ganne bote the. Munna woh din beet gaye , jab chut mein kheti hoti thi, ab land ki fusslo ki khatir, humne ise banjar bana diya.

Munni woh din yaad karo jab luka chipi khelte the, tum lahanga pahan kar aati thi, aur hum usme chup jate the. Munna woh din beet gaye, jab hamne tumhe chupaya tha, ab tum to jaat ke bhalu ho, lahange me shahad ka chhatta hai.

Munni woh din yaad karo, jab sath deewali khele the, tum chut pe tikli rakhti thi , hum land se foda karte the. Munna woh din beet gaye, jab chut pe tikli fodi thi. ab chut hamari pyari hai, aur loda tera bhikhari hai.

Munni woh din beet gaye han munni woh din beet gaye. ab chut ke darshan ki khatir , hum chut chalisa padhte hai, par chut nahi darshan deti, hum land se ladte rahte hai. par waqt hamara aayega. jab hum bhi tum ko chodenge, tum land land chillaogi hum chut me danda pelenge. munni munne ko kam na samajh yeh teri phudi chodega.. tu pair pakad kar royegi.. teri chut me keeel(nails) thokega

sms

Eik Pati-Patni ki suhag raat thi... Pati apni Patni ke pechae dalnae laga to wo boli ....na na Pati jee pechae nahi aagae. Pati bola tumhain kaisae pata hai ? Patni boli...mera boy friend mere aagae dalta tha. Pati bola...acha. ..par mere boy friend to mere pechae dalta tha... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Shaadi ki pehli raat husband apni biwi ki choot ke andar aik ungli dalta hai. Biwi sharmatay hoe: Aik ungli aur dalo na. Husband: Kyun tu ne seeti bajani hai. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---Suhagrat ke time darvaze pe dastak hoti hai toh dulhan bhag k parde ke peeche chup jati hai. Husband: Kya hua? Dulhan: Mujhe laga police ki raid par gai.

Jeevan ke Katu Satya

KUTTE KA LUND OR TANDOOR KE ROTI DONO HEE PAIT MAIN JAAKAR PHOOLTE HAI

Jokes :- Ek Sardaar ji the, kafi chodu bhai par unka beta bahut badmash. Wo hamesha apni maa ke sath sota tha jisse sardar ko bibi ko chodne main kafi dikkat hoti thi. Ek din sardaar ne bhi than li ki aaj wo apne bibi ko chodkar rahega. Raat ko jab apni bibi ke paas aaya to dekha ki uska beta sath me soya hai. Apne bete se kaha ki jakar doosre room me so jao par uska beta nahi mana. Uski bibi ke samjhane par sardaar niche so gaya. Adhi raat ko sardaar apne bete ko nind me utha kar niche sula diya aur apne bibi ki jam kar chudai karne laga. Itni jor ki chudai thi ki sara palang jor-jor se awaz kar raha tha. Achanak uske bete ki nind khul gai, wo niche baithkar apne baap ki harkat ko dekhne laga. Baap ne dekh liya ki uska beta uski chudai par nazar gadai

baitha hai. Usne gusse me kaha- Are so ja na, kya dekh raha hai. Beta bola- Madarchod, jiski maa chud rahi ho to beta ko bhala kaise nind aa sakti hai
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YE KAALI KAALI AANKHEIN Ye chhoti chooti choot ye moti moti gaand ye teekhi teekhi nipples ye hirni jaisi chaal dekha jo tujhe jaanam hua hai bura haal Main mila, too mili hai too mili, main mila main mila, too mili too mili, main mila duniya jale to jale chudaai karenge gaand bhi marenge dhak dhak dil yeh kare Uf teri choot bhi lund ko jalaane lagi Aa meri baahon main ithlaake jaane lagi Ye teri chudaai ki aawaaz mujh ko satane lagi

Chhodo ji chhodo sanam zid apni todo sanam nazuk yeh dil hai mera dil ko na todo sanam ... ye lambi lambi ratain aa kar le mulaquaten jaane kyon lund yeh mera teri choot ka hi hona chahe use maila na kar yeh gore gore gaand Na too kar hat pat Kar byah jhat pat Meri aa ja too diqqat Karte pyar ka tiket Na too zhulfein jhatak Na too pair patak Are aise na matak dil gaya hai bhatak Choochiyon pe tere sanam Laila ki hai shokhiyaan Heer si bhadke hai choot ki yeh mastiyaan Juliet ki tarah gaand pe hain surkhiyaan Dekh le khudh ko too jazar se meri ja ne jaan Dekhi jo teri ada main phida ho gaya seene se lag ja mere jeene ka aaye mazaa

Ye bhikhree bhikhree zulphen ye jhuki jhuki palken ye gori gori bahain hum kyon na tumhe chahen aisa to humne pahle dekha nahi kamaal. yeh kaali kaali ...

CHALTE CHALTE MERE YE GEET YAAD RAKHNA Chudte cudtemere lund ko yaad rakhna. Kabhi alvida na kehna.kabhi alvida na kehna Sote jagte bus yun hi tum.hameshachudwaate rehna Kabhi alvida na kehna.kabhi alvida na kehna Chudai karte karte.hum tum kahin kho jaayeng Teri chut ki gehrai mainlund ko daal ke so jaayenge Apni choochiyon ki bhi tum yun hi khol kar rakhna. Kabhi alvida na kehna.kabhi alvida na kehna. Beech chudai main dilwarpeshaab lag jaaye kahin agar Aur chudai lage tumhemaje ki jagah badtar.. Tum peshaab kar dena.mere muh ke andar. Kabhi alvida na kehnakabhi alvida na kehna

MERE ANGNE MEIN TUMHARA KYA KAAM HAI La la la la... La la la la...

La la la la... La la la la... Mere angne mein (Mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai) - 2 Joh hai naam wala Arre joh hai naam wala wahi toh badnaam hai Mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai (Jiski choot lambi usska bhi bara naam hai) - 2 bamboo ko phansa do Arre (bamboo ko phansa do lund ka kya kam hai) - 2 Mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai Jiski choot moti usska bhi bara naam hai Jiski choot moti, o moti, o moti, o moti moti moti Jiski choot moti uska bhi bara naam hai Hoton se choos lo santre ka kya kaam re Mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai (Jiski choot kali usska bhi bara naam hai) - 2 Aankhon mein basalo (Aankhon mein basalo surme ka kya kam hai) - 2 Mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai (Jiski choot gori uska bhi bara naam hai) - 2 Kamre mein bithalo (Kamre mein bithalo bijli ka kya kam hai) - 2 Mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai (Jiski choot chhoti uska bhi bara naam hai) - 2 lund pe bithalo, haan haan haan (lund pe bithalo swarg ka kya kam hai) - 2 Mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai (Mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai) - 2

Joh hai naam wala Arre joh hai naam wala wahi toh badnaam hai Mere angne mein, haan mere angne mein Haan mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai

Aansoo Bhari Hain Yeh Jeevan Ki Raahen Doodho Bhari Hain unki Yeh choochian Koi Unse Keh De Hamein doodh pilaayen Doodho Bhari Hain unki Yeh choochian Koi Unse Keh De Hamein doodh pilaayen Doodho Bhari Hain... Blouse khol de who bra Tod De Woh Choochiyon ko Apni mere mooh mein Chhod De Woh Blouse khol de who bra Tod De Woh Choochiyon ko Apni mere mooh mein Chhod De Woh Aisi choochiyon Se Kyon muh hataayein hum Koi Unse Keh De... Meharbaniyon Ki Ajab Daastan Hein ye Bachha Bhi Roye to use hansaa dein ye Meharbaniyon Ki Ajab Daastan Hein ye Bachha Bhi Roye to use hansaa dein ye Humein ho Mubarak, tumhari pyari choochi Koi Unse Keh De...

De De Pyar De (SHARAABI) meena arey meena aa gaya tera deewana bata bata arey kaha hai teri choot ka thikana hum bande hai pyar ke maange sabki khair apani sabse dosti nahi kisise bair de de choot de de de choot de choot de choot de re hamein choot de )-2 duniya wale kuchh bhi samajhen ham hain chudaai ke deewane jahaan bhi chaahen tujhe hi chodein daal ke lund humare de de choot de ... aane ko to roz hi aate tere ghar ke dwaare ho phir bhi pyaasa lund hai mera tu hi pyaas bujhaaye prem pyaar sukh chain ki varshaa teri choot se barsen ye dukh dard ki aag mein bhi koi lund naa pyasa tarse de de choot de ... yahaan choot ke bich khadi kapdon ki jo vo deewar giraa de haan lund mein soyi soyi aisi aag ki jot jagaa de aag lagi ho lund mein to lagti hai chuddai pyari ham to kewal teri choot ke teri choot hamaari de de choot de ...
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CHAHAT
Larki < Jab bhi miltey ho haath mein pakra detey ho aik agg si meri choot mein tum laga detey ho yeh tu bato tum akher chatey kiya ho Larka < jab bhi milti ho mera hath mein pakar leti ho daba daba ke mere lun ko ik nai akar deti ho yeh tu batao akher tum chahti kiya ho Larki < jab bhi mein let ti hoon tangein utha lete ho choot per meri tum apne lun ko tika dete ho yeh tu btao akher tum chatey kiya ho Larka < jab bhi uthaoon tangein meri kamr jakar leti ho lun ki supari choot ke lubon mein pakar leti ho yeh tu btao akher tum chahti kiya ho. Larki < choot mein loon tu tum aur age kar detey ho itne lumbe lun se choot meri tum phar detey ho yeh tu batao akher tum chahte kiya ho. Larka < jab poora daloon andar tu tum halne lag jati ho haltey haltey kiun mujh se chimtaney lg jati ho yeh tu batao akher tum chahti kiya ho. Larki < mera bura hal hota jab oper se dhaka lagate ho pehley ahista phir ik dum tum chaka lagate ho yeh tu btao akher tum chahtey kiya ho Larka < dhaka ho ya jhatka tum barabar jawab deti ho maza leti ho aur mujhey bhi tum sawad deti ho yeh tu btao akher tum chahati kiya ho Larki < choot mein jab lun se ho jall thall jati hey maze se meri tu duniya hi badal jati hey ab jab bhi milo mujhey pakra diya karo mauqa miltey hi tangein utha liya karo poochon nah ab kabhi tum chahtey kiya ho Larka < choot aur lun ka yeh khel hey do diloon ka akher yeh mail hey Jimmi mail tu hota hey qismat se

dil tu bharta nahein essi muhabat se hum kiun poochein keh hum chahtey kiya hein

Ek Ladki Thi Sexy Si

Ek larki thi Sexy si, ek lund pay woh marti thi, chori-chori, chupkay chupkay, choot pay khujli kerti thi, chudna tha shayad us ko, per lambay lund say woh darti thi. Jab milti thi mujh say, yehi poocha kerti thi, yeh lund kaisa hota hai, yeh lund kaisa hota hai??? Aur mein yehi keh daita tha, Kailay jaisa hota hai.
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