Series: What God Brings Together. LESSON 7: Whats My Role?

Many of our marital dilemmas occur simply because we don't know the role we are to play within the marriage. We must learn to control our emotions, and serve our spouses un-relentlessly. If you have feelings of self-centeredness, greed, wanting to control your spouse, or any type of hatred or animosity towards them, this can prevent you from effectively operating in your role. Meditation: 1 Peter 3:5-7 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. (ESV) You are different, but equal. 1 Corinthians 36-38 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marryit is no sin. But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.

(1 Corinthians 7:36-38 ESV) Understanding Marriage Math (1+1 doesnt Equal 2) Marriage is not intended for 2 halves looking for completion, to find each other and then to become one. It is about two people who have is completed and whole through Jesus joining together. So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority. Colossians 2:10 NLT

You Are Not Your Spouses Savior I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:32-35 ESV) Husbands You are the head but are to be sure to place God at the forefront. Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. (1 Corinthians 11:2-3 ESV) Love your Wife Husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:25-33 ESV)

Spend Time with Your Wife When a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be liable for any other public duty. He shall be free at home one year to be happy with his wife whom he has taken. (Deuteronomy 24:5 ESV) Do not deprive your wife. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5 ESV) Wife Submit to your husband Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (Ephesians 5:22-24 ESV)

Self -work: Role Swap It is very easy to tell someone what they are doing wrong, and how they should be doing it, until that is you have to fulfill the very tasks you are critiquing them on. This week review the tasks that have been assigned to your spouse and take them on. You may become just a little more appreciative of what they do once you have experienced first-hand.