Personal Statement For most people, lying in a hospital bed at 12 years old, on the brink of heart failure, would

be an immediate wake-up call. I am not most people. As a child, I always had high aspirations. I excelled in school, as well as in dance, which I studied from the age of two. I was the child that wanted to be the lawyer, simply because I looked up to my father, who was an attorney who helped people every day. I never strayed from what was expected of me, and I expected even more from myself. From a young age, I became a true perfectionist, never settling for less than the best, and always self-motivated to reach the highest pinnacle of whatever I set out to accomplish. One thing I did not lack was drive. By the time I was 11 years old, I had collected hundreds of trophies and awards for my dancing, as well as public speaking awards achieved through school. For me, that was not good enough. I longed for complete control over my life, complete perfection. My impossible quest for perfection finally reached what I thought was a solution. The drive that I had to do well in school and in dance was the same drive that led me to an eating disorder: anorexia nervosa. For me, anorexia was the ultimate answer to my unquenchable thirst for control and perfection. The thinner I became, the more accomplished I felt, further motivating me to travel down the ironic path to control, while I was as far from control as possible. With all of my drive and determination being focused on my eating disorder, school was pushed to the backburner. Not only did I no longer desire to achieve good grades, but my almost daily trips to the physician, psychologist, and psychiatrist took me away from school often. My medications, which were anti-depressants, left me feeling empty and unmotivated to do anything. Although I did not realize it at the time, I was merely a shell of the girl that I used to be.

The climax of my eating disorder was reached when I was sent to the hospital at 12 years old for approaching cardiac arrest. Fortunately, I had a doctors appointment that day, and my physician immediately sent me to the hospital, telling me that if my appointment had been any later, it may have been too late. Looking back, the most frightening part of the hospital trip was not that I was near heart failure. The most frightening thing is remembering that in that moment, I was proud, happy even, that I had so much control over myself that I had gotten to this point. For me, lying in that hospital bed was surprisingly not a wake-up call. ` My overdue wake-up call came when I was watching my dance studios recital- from the

audience. Months prior, my doctors and parents decided that I had to be taken out of dance because it was burning calories that I was not consuming. Before leaving dance, I had earned the lead role in our ballet that year, Snow White. Sitting in the audience, watching another girl dance the role that I had worked so hard for, was agonizing. Not even near heart failure could jar me from this distorted way of thinking, but watching my hard work go down the drain was the final straw. I took back control, not even realizing that I had lost it in the first place. I was 13 years old, and weighed 52 pounds when I decided to turn my life around. Years passed, and I made a full physical recovery from anorexia. The same drive that led me to anorexia also led me out of the darkness. Although I regained my will to live, I had not yet regained my motivation for school. I had forgotten my capability, and my desire to do well. Finally, during the second semester of my freshman year of college, I found the drive and motivation that I had been lacking in my schoolwork. I remembered that I was capable of doing anything that I set my mind to. I began to work hard in my classes. I became highly involved in the sorority that I had joined earlier that year. At last, I was returning to the person that I used to be, and I was more proud of myself than I had been in years.

With the return of my motivation, also came the return of dreams that had been lost in the wake of my eating disorder. In December of 2011, my father retired from practicing law. Prior to his retirement I noticed a genuine concern from his clients that they would not be able to find another attorney like him. When I witnessed the outpouring of gratitude from the people he had helped throughout his years as an attorney, I remembered being that young girl who wanted to be a lawyer to help people, and I realized that my dream was still alive for the same reason; it had just been pushed aside for so many years, and now that I was motivated again, I realized that maybe, with hard work and most importantly, motivation, I could make that dream come true. Although I sometimes still struggle with body image issues and the remnants of a powerful eating disorder, I now accept and embrace the imperfections in my life. I also accept the fact that I am not always in control, and thats okay. Using my drive and motivation in a positive manner is far more rewarding than any eating disorder. Most people would say that overcoming anorexia is the achievement of a lifetime. Although I agree, I have much bigger goals in mind, but then again, I am not most people.