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Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert


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Published by: Zach Pippin on Dec 11, 2012
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Stephen Colbert [Col-bear


In 2007, Colbert Did Not Know The South Carolina State Amphibian, The Spotted Salamander … MR. RUSSERT: “What's the state amphibian?” MR. COLBERT: “The state amphibian?” MR. RUSSERT: “Yeah.” MR. COLBERT: “It's my dog, Cookie. She swims, and she goes on land.” MR. RUSSERT: “It's the spotted salamander.”  Video

(NBC’s “Meet The Press,” 10/21/07)

… Yet On December 10, 2012, Stephen Colbert Claimed Nikki Haley Should Be Disqualified For Office Because She Did Not Know The State Amphibian, The Spotted Salamander. COLBERT: “Because if getting a South Carolina trivia fact wrong disqualifies you for office, then Nikki Haley would have stepped down after saying this. [Video Clip Begins] COLBERT: What’s the state amphibian? HALEY: Ooh. COLBERT: Oh, how’s it feel when the spiked shoe is on the other foot? It’s the spotted salamander. [Video Clip Ends]. Oh, do you know the state dish governor? It’s revenge. Best served cold with a side of salamander milk. So nation, do not give up the fight. Keep tweeting Governor Haley why I’d make an ideal senator using the hashtag #SpottedSalamander.” (Comedy Central’s “Colbert Report,” 12/10/12) Minute 15:38

Stephen Colbert Claimed He Would “Stumble Around Columbia, The Capital, Like, Pantless With A Bottle Of Jack Daniels And Try To Get Arrested;” TERRY GROSS: “So I always have to ask myself when you do that, when you're either on the ballot or have a surrogate on the ballot, like is that going too far? Is that actually injecting it into the voting booth in a way that might actually change the results of an election?”

STEPHEN COLBERT: “I mean if I actually thought I would change the results of the election, I think I would - I would think I was going too far, but I never for a moment thought I would change the results of the election and I think I was right.” TERRY GROSS: “Because you wouldn't get enough votes to make a difference?” STEPHEN COLBERT: “No, I would never get enough votes.” TERRY GROSS: “With elections being so close in some places?” STEPHEN COLBERT: “Not in South Carolina.” TERRY GROSS: “Not in South Carolina.” STEPHEN COLBERT: “Just the Republicans. I don't know what to say.” TERRY GROSS: “Yeah, right.” STEPHEN COLBERT: “You know, even in - even four years ago when I was running in 2008 in South Carolina and really sincerely like tried to get on the ballot, if I was doing well, I had a plan of how to drop out, which was that I was going to have a scandal.” (LAUGHTER) STEPHEN COLBERT: “I was going to like...” TERRY GROSS: “Oh, I'm sorry you didn't get a chance.” STEPHEN COLBERT: “I know. Wasn't that exciting? I would've been wonderful. I wanted to like actually go down to South Carolina and like stumble around Columbia, the capital, like pantless with a bottle of Jack Daniels and try to get arrested.”
(National Public Radio’s “Fresh Air,” 10/4/12)

Colbert Attended A South Carolina Trade Conference, In His Words, “Representing Iran” COLBERT: “For All Intents And Purposes, I Am Here Representing Iran.” (Stephen Colbert, Remarks At The S.C.
International Trade Conference, Charleston, SC, 5/23/2006) MINUTE 1:32

Stephen Colbert Demanded To Be Named Keith Olbermann’s “Worst Person In The World” And Used A Puppy To Slap A Baby To Make His Case Colbert Demanded To Be Named The “Worst Person In The World.” COLBERT: “And why not hold me to the same standards as others in the conservative media? I’m just as much a journalist as Fox News. Keith Olbermann, I demand, I demand you name me the worst person in the world. Here, here. I’m gonna help. I am now going to slap a baby with this puppy. Bring on the baby, bring on the baby. No, we’re going to do this.” (Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report,” 7/15/09) Minute 2:20 Colbert Claimed He Changed His Name, Since Leaving South Carolina, “To Get Cultural Elites On My Side” FOX NEWS BILL O'REILLY: “Colbert, that's a French name, is it not?” COLBERT: “It's a French name, just to get the cultural elites on my side, Bill. I'm as Irish as you. I'm a Cormie (ph), I'm an O'Neal. I'm a Tuck. I'm a Phee. I'm a Connolly.”

O'REILLY: “Because I talked to...” COLBERT: “I could sit toe to toe at a potato table with anybody.” O'REILLY: “I talked to your third grade teacher, Miss Crabtree. She said back then you were little Steve Coal-bert. Is that right?” COLBERT: “In South Carolina, I was Steve Coal-bert.” COLBERT: “Bill, you know you've got to play the game that the media elites want you to do. OK? Some places you can draw the line. Some place you can't. You and I have taken a lot of positions against the powers that be, and we've paid a heavy price. We have TV shows, product lines and books. OK? It's not the price we pay.”
(Fox News’ “The O’Reilly Factor,” 1/18/07)

At The S.C. World Trade Luncheon In 2006, Colbert Pronounced His Last Name As “Coal-Bert” When Introducing His Sister. COBLERT: “Of course, I want to hear everybody give their appreciation for my sister, Elizabeth Colbert [Coal-bert] Bush. Now, my name is Stephen Colbert [Coal-bert], my sister is Elizabeth Colbert [Coal-bert] Bush. Um, but we’re not going to be unrelated.” (Stephen Colbert, Remarks At The S.C.
International Trade Conference, Charleston, SC, 5/23/2006) MINUTE 0:24

Colbert Had His Pronunciation Of “T’s” Surgically Removed To Sound More Pretentious. “The name is spelled the same way, it’s just that I had the pronunciation of all my ‘t’s’ surgically removed. It was very painful, but it was worth it because it sounds more pretentious that way.”
(Stephen Colbert, Remarks At The S.C. International Trade Conference, Charleston, SC, 5/23/2006) MINUTE 0:48

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