Ill Will Always Wear My Pearls

Dori Lansbach English 104 Dr. Cook 9/6/12

Lansbach 1

ATTENTION. I NEED EVERYONE IN THE JONES TROPHY ROOM..LEAVE CLASS IF NEED BE.RIGHT NOW!!! The text I received from my basketball coach at Pepperdine, while relaxing in my apartment before practice startled me. Inquiry and slight excitement swept through my mind. What could this be? Is someone in trouble? Did our school violate an NCAA rule? Restlessness building up inside me as I drive down the Pacific Coast Highway toward the beautiful Malibu campus. No! I know what it is, we got a birth to the Womens National Invitational Tournament! Our team had been waiting to hear if we qualified for the consolation round after loosing in the conference tournament a week earlier. Confident in knowing the reason why we were asked to leave class for a team announcement, I pulled into a parking space and jogged up the stairs toward the meeting room. To my surprise, I saw all of the student athletes at our university heading into the same room. Everyone appeared nervous, whispering to each other in speculation as to why we were all at the same place. My confidence suddenly turned into anxiety, What did we do? I had a bad feeling in my heart; its pulse becoming more potent with every passing second, and now radiating throughout every vein in my body. Some team must have violated an NCAA rule, I heard a male basketball player say. As I made my way into the cramped room, everyone was very quiet; the atmosphere was something that it should not be, eerie. I

took a seat next to my teammates and looked around for an administrator, as if by reading their body language I would be able to tell what was going on. My eyes were forced to stop on one of the leaders of our athlete Bible study, Krista. One could tell that she had been crying because of the fresh tears she was attempting to wipe away on her cheeks. At that moment, the familiar voice of our athletic director called the room to order. My head slowly swiveled around with my heart still focused on Krista. Hello, everyone. He paused for a couple of seconds. The reason we called you all in here, is to tell... Dr. Potts voice cracked and his eyes began to well up. My gaze now intently fixed upon him. Is to tell you that this morning....Maurice Hilliard died on a prayer walk at the beach. Dead silence. Darkness and despair seeped its way through the room, brushing over each person with a cold whisper. The first words out of my mouth, What?! Everyone gasped, I heard a couple of girls scream, and some peoples bodies looked as if they lost control as they fell to their knees. Our beloved athletic chaplain, Coach Mo, was gone? He was 44 years old; this wasnt possible. Shock and disbelief swept the room. My head literally felt like it was spinning, and my air supply was slowly being clamped shut. Tears began to stream down my face, but not because of a natural bodily reaction, but because I felt like I had to. I could not believe this was real. The words that had just been said were looming over the top of the room, present, but not fully

sinking in. I repeated the words in my head, Maurice Hilliard died, Maurice Hilliard died, Maurice Hilliard died. About ten seconds later, it hit me. My tear ducts opened up like someone had just turned a facet on full blast, and I couldnt turn it off. My face stuck in an unnatural position, hands shaking, heart pounding, sweat starting to drip. All of us grieved for a few minutes, until the cries became so loud it was overwhelming. The coaches and administrators led us out of the room so that we could grieve in areas of our choice. As I made my way out into the open courtyard, the light hit my swollen, tear-filled eyes and caused me to briefly lose my balance. Bombarded by hugs and sobbing people, I looked around and saw nothing familiar. I was empty, numb. My life had changed forever. Maurice Hilliard spent the last 20 years of his life ministering to people and spreading Gods love. Specifically, he had made it his lifes mission to teach women about how beautiful and valuable they were to God. He brought me out of my darkest days, and taught me about my identity in Christ. This was the man whom I turned to for every question in life, it seemed. How was I supposed to make it without him? Still in a foggy haze, I stumbled over to my car and drove to the only place I could think of, the beach where he had taken his prayer walks, and coincidentally passed away. The sight of the ocean was breathtaking as the pristine water glistened in the sun. The smell of the salty air was almost refreshing,

because it reawakened my dull senses. I walked down to where I saw flowers that had already been placed on the sand in honor of him, and sat down beside them. I alternated between crying, praying, and softly singing songs of praise to comfort myself. Although I was grieving, a feeling of peace warmed my soul. I could feel Maurices presence so strongly; it was almost as if he was there, praying next to me. One thing about Coach Mo is that he never wanted anyone to be concerned about him, so I knew that he would not want me to be sad, as hard as that was to believe. When I was getting ready to leave the beach, I thought about the book he had written shortly before he died, called The Price of A Pearl. In the book he said that, A pearl represents class and elegance; it remains a timeless symbol of feminine beauty, confidence, and success just like a woman. Similar to the pearls grandeur, a womans class, elegance, and ultimate success evolve over time (Maurice Hilliard, 19). If one continues to trust in Gods pure and unfailing love, He will polish and transform a girl into a pearl. I was always so encouraged by his ability to take the anxiety out of my heart and replace it with the peace of God. Suddenly, I remembered that when I first got up that morning, I had put my pearl necklace in my pocket when I was rushing out the door, as I always did to remind myself of how God adored me. I then reached into my pocket and felt the smooth pearls on my finger tips. As I brought them out, a glimmer of

joy filled my soul, and I thought to myself, Yes Coach, Mo. I am a beautiful pearl, that will continually be transformed by God. I am determined to live a life as you did, in which every part of my being reflects Jesus, and I will always wear my pearls.