A wise man hears one word and understands two

- Yiddish Proverb
Purpose of Active Listening
When interacting, people often are not listening attentively to one another. They may be distracted, thinking about other things, or thinking about what they are going to say next, (the latter case is particularly true in conflict situations or disagreements). Active listening is a structured way of listening and responding to others. It focuses attention on the speaker. Suspending ones own frame of reference and suspending judgment are important in order to fully attend to the speaker.

Tactics of Active Listening

It is important to observe the other person's behavior and body language. Having the ability to interpret a person's body language allows the listener to develop a more accurate understanding of the speaker's words. Having heard, the listener may then paraphrase the speakers words. It is important to note that the listener is not necessarily agreeing with the speakersimply stating what was said. In emotionally charged communications, the listener may listen for feelings. Thus, rather than merely repeating what the speaker has said, the active listener might describe the underlying emotion (you seem to feel angry or you seem to feel frustrated, is that because?). Individuals in conflict often contradict one another. This has the effect of denying the validity of the other persons position. Either party may react defensively, and they may lash out or withdraw. On the other hand, if one finds that the other party understands, an atmosphere of cooperation can be created. This increases the possibility of collaborating and resolving the conflict.

Peeling The Onion

Peeling the onion means looking deeper. Not accepting a problem definition at face value. Peeling the onion is a search for underlying causes. Peeling the onion is a learning process. A discovery process. It involves gently peeling layers of data, layers of interpretation, layers of emotion, layers of meaning. Asking "Why?" and "What do you mean?" and "What else?" persistently. The onion offers a series of seemingly valid mistruths, rather than a singular misconception. This also differs from a "higher truth" in that each step in a heightened understanding does not totally invalidate the prior; rather, it reveals that it was simply incomplete.

Be Empathetic!
Empathy - Identification with and understanding of another's situation Sympathy - the fact or power of sharing the feelings of another, especially in sorrow or trouble

NCSA is a third party resource with NO emotional attachment to our families. This allows us to be objective, realistic and focused on the task at hand so we can lead our families through the process effectively and efficiently. Empathize with their situation but be careful not to get caught up in their situation and share/experience the same feelings they have. It is not in the best interest of the families that contact us.

Relationships based on shared emotions & understanding

Empathy Understood as the ability to mutually experience the thoughts, emotions, and direct experience of others without them being directly communicated intentionally Actually sharing another's suffering, if only briefly. Often characterized as the ability to put oneself into anothers shoes. Can be employed as a communication skill. Empathy can allow great communicators to sense the emotions of an audience and is the mutual understanding and inspiration communicated to the audience. A lack of empathy involves a poor sense of communication that fails to understand the perspective of the audience.
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Sympathy A feeling of care and understanding for suffering beings

Essentially implies a feeling of recognition of another's suffering

Your Job as an SC
Make sure that playing their sport in college is a SERIOUS goal of the Student-Athlete's To gain an understanding of their abilities as an athlete and a student to determine if they possess the attributes needed, or are on pace to, to compete at SOME level of college competition To gain an understanding of the Student-Athlete's current recruiting situation and the depth of the relationships they have been able to develop in the recruiting process up to this point To find out what the student-athlete/family has done proactively to separate themselves from their competition up to this point? To qualify and prepare a student-athlete and their family to speak with a National Scout. Make sure that it is a conversation they will take seriously, will prepare for and will value and respect the time the scout has offered to spend with them