The EMMA Foundation for Healing

Volume 1, Issue 1

Welcome to healing: A journey begins...

The EMMA Foundation for Healing was founded December 2012 by Rachel Williams, mother of Emma, who was sexually assaulted at the age of 3 by a trusted family member. Finding few resources available to help with Emma's and our familys healing, we were compelled to build this foundation. Our primary goal is to link victims and their families to resources for help for their own healing journey. Seeing first hand the abundant opportunities perpetrators are provided through the court for rehabilitation, our family strongly believes victims should receive Equal Medical and Mental health Access as their abusers. We strongly support rehabilitation, we believe it is an important tool in preventing future sexual assaults. Victims and their families should have the option to heal in the process. Victims and their families need resources to regain their quality of life after suffering at the hands of a sexual predator. Victims need their own rehabilitation. Countless families are affected by sexual abuse. We hope through our story and efforts we are able to save a child from suffering, and help families empower themselves to heal from their experience and stop the abuse cycle. Our healing journey began April 9, 2012, immediately following Emmas hospital stay. She required corrective surgery for the damage done to her little body. Emma also suffered colon damage that may or may not affect her as she grows. Only time will tell what steps we will need to take in the future because of her suffering. Within an hour of being released from the hospital, Emma gave a video interview for the DA. She painted and placed her small handprint among the numerous others in the Care House who had passed through before her. There were so many prints we had a hard time finding a spot in the house for our own little victims hand. When we first arrived, we thought the handprints covering the walls and ceilings of the house were a wall paper (the thought crossed my mind that they over did it with the wallpaper). When we realized each hand was placed there by a victim, our hearts sank. It was devastating and heartbreaking to see the number of victims affected in just our county could cover an entire house. How can we not reach out and find healing for those many hands? We must. Our logo, the pink hand, is our own Emma's handprint. This was a symbol marking her first steps in healing. In our search through healing symbols in creating our own logo we could not find one more appropriate than this. Welcome to healing...

Needs & special focus:

Space for upcoming Support Groups & Focus Group Raising funds for support groups and focus group Continuing to raise awareness about the life crippling effects child sexual assault has on a person Introduce a healing beginning to those seeking help

Inside this issue:

Welcome to Healing:
A journey begins...

1 2 2

Calendar of Events... In the Spotlight! Suzzan Blac

Healing through the Arts...

Where to find us...

w/TheEmmaFoundationforHealing

Battered But Not Broken: 2 What the Blog... 3

@theEMMAfndtn

When Parents Perpetrate: 4 Rebeccas Story... Warning signs... 5

www.theEMMAfoundation.org/Blog.html

Contact the Foundation... 6

theEMMAfoundation@gmail.com

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The EMMA Foundation for Healing

Calendar of Events...
Want to win a Visa Gift card?
Here's the scoop: For the entire month of April 2013, donations made will be entered into a drawing for a Visa gift card! Details: Donations $1-$25 will be entered for a $10 card; Donations $26-$100 will be entered for a $25 card; Donations $101 -$500 will be entered for a $50 card; Donations $501 and over will be entered for a $100 card PLUS our very first Foundation t-shirt! Visit www.theEMMAfoundation.org and go to the How Can I Help? page for donation link and mailing information. You can also use the form at the end of this newsletter. Get ready for your chance to win and dont forget to share us with your friends! Proceeds will cover expenses for support groups and upcoming focus group.
Winner to be announced on 5/1/13 on our website & Facebook page

April Support Groups

We want to thank our wonderful community members for providing space for meetings! Hedberg Public Library 316 S. Main St. Janesville, WI: Saturday 4/6, 1-3pm Mt. Calvary Lutheran Church 2940 Mineral Point Ave. Janesville, WI: Tuesday 4/30, 5-6pm
Support groups are open to victims and their families, we enjoy having friends of victims and their families join us as well. Having a support system is a crucial piece in your healing journey. We look forward to seeing you there.

Rachel, and The EMMA Foundation, has followed Suzzan from the day we found her!
A victim of child sex trafficking, survivor, and above all - inspiration. Suzzan shares her story of sexual mistreatment, pain, and healing through her amazing Art, writing, and blogging. We highly recommend her non-repentant, entrancing book of tales of her story and survival. This book is not for the weak of heart, but neither is the horror and pain child sex trafficking enthralls on the innocent lives of its trapped victims. Find Suzzan: www.suzzanb.com & http://theartofsuzzanblac.blogspot.co.uk Purchase her book, The ReBIRTH of Suzzan Blac, on Amazon.com

Suzzan Blac!
Battered But Not Broken: Healing through the Arts
Taking the stage with her story of survival of Domestic Violence, Cynthia Wilson has written a profound rendition of her own life. Battered But Not Broken Stage play set to break the silence on domestic violence. The play was written by Cynthia Wilson of Charleston W.V. and produced by Shelly Garrett - of Beauty Shop and Barbershop with Ice Cube. Get a sneak peek at what to expect, and where to purchase tickets as Cynthia takes this play on tour! Check out the promo trailer on YouTube: http://youtu.be/SYJJmpqtfpk

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The EMMA Foundation for Healing

What the Blog...an insight to the forum (posted 2/26/13 by Rachel Williams)
Is it Rape, or Incest? Giving abuse a politically acceptable name
RAPE. In any other realm outside of a family member would be referred to by its justified name, rape. My daughter was raped at age 3. I don't call it incest, I call it what it is, rape. Because it was done by a very trusted family member doesn't change what happened. The act is the same. Whether it was a family member or complete stranger, rape is still rape.

My daughter was raped at age 3. I don't call it incest, I call it what it is, rape

Being raped by someone in your family doesn't make it less of a crime. It doesn't change the outcome of the pain and trauma. If anything, rape by a family member magnifies the trauma. Most victims have the stress of seeing their abuser on a regular basis. Sadly, in most cases the abuse is continuous, most times repeated for years. Unfortunately for most victims in an "incest" situation they do not have the support of other family members, therefore, they don't tell and they don't get the help they need. Their opportunity to heal is taken away. It gets swept under the carper or hushed by those responsible for protecting these young victims. Turning your head to the situation doesn't make it go away, in my opinion, it makes you an accomplice! If a stranger grabs a child in your family off a playground and rapes them, most people would see that attacker gets justified punished. They would fight that to the end. The heartache of seeing your family member hurt in such a disgusting and traumatic way would hit like a ton of bricks. But when that attacker is someone in the family not everyone is so quick to take action. Why is that? Since when is protecting a family predator more precious than protecting the innocence, safety, and well-being of a child? The problem with child sexual abuse in a family is the abuse becomes a cycle. More and more innocent children become victims and before you know it the problem is out of control. It somehow becomes more and more acceptable. It spreads like a disease. Until we as families take the steps to stop the cycle, the abuse will continue and too many victims will suffer. One victim is one too many. I understand the definition of the word incest encompasses more than just child sexual abuse. However, when you take away the word RAPE just because it happens within a family you are taking away the shock and ugliness of what really should be called RAPE. "Incest" doesn't sound as bitter and calculated as "rape" - it's a little easier to ignore when it's just incest. We are not minimizing our daughter's rape. We continue to hold her attacker accountable despite the conflict it has caused in our family. It's time to stop sugar coating our words and call it what it is - RAPE. It's disgusting! It is not acceptable! Society needs to stop giving it a loop hole making it politically acceptable by giving it a different name - its still rape.

Have you Blogged with us? Visit our webpage: www.theEMMAfoundation.org/blog.html

The EMMA Foundation for Healing

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When Parents perpetrate...Rebeccas story

".....I had strange beliefs, like the certainty that I could breathe under water. That's a bizarrely common trait among pedophile victims. I had traumatic amnesia for a year, not quite sure why I was terrified of tires crunching across gravel (my abusers pulling up in front of our house), flew into violent rages whenever someone touched my head, and had a problem with hygiene; I was either reticent to bathe or scrubbed myself raw. I also looked at adults as idiots. There's an experience I have that none of them could understand, and although I recognized their concern for me, I looked on it as a childish weakness. They were idiots to love me, if they actually did, because I was damaged goods. They were also worthless at their job of protecting me, or perhaps they simply didn't think I was worth the effort. All the tender sympathy and patient handling simply showed me they knew I was weak, soiled goods. The most damaging thing that happened to me from my brother, his friends, and my dad raping me was self-hatred. Body memory was tough, too; I could be sitting at my desk in class and suddenly get hit with the feeling I was tearing again, and sometimes wet myself in front of everybody. It's a weird, awful pain, jagged, and the itching as you heal up inside is maddening! This went on for years. I had horrific periods and often fainted at school as I got older. I went the opposite of the usual route, ie I didn't have sexual relations with a gamut of boys. I had sexual urges but my dad's face kept popping up whenever I'd fantasize about a crush or film idol so that went right out the window pretty fast. And the shame. I was an intelligent kid, I knew what was done to me was terrible, logic told me it wasn't my fault, but logic is very much inferior to emotions in these instances and, since my attackers were never punished, after all they were police officers, I pointed the finger at myself so as to have a culprit. I was too pretty, I was too ugly, I asked for it somehow and was too stupid to know what I did that made them rape me. I was also a coward because I didn't fight them off hard enough. Because of what I did or didn't do, I caused this. So I turned all my rage and horror and disgust inward and began eating myself alive. I chose to surround myself with horrible people because I deserved it. Pathological shyness kept me from joining in discussions or volunteering for church charities because I was terrified I didn't know how to help correctly and would screw it up. Thus, I refused to help people who were suffering, which made me even more of a skank. The self hatred grew to self mutilation. I was married twice, to truly terrible men whom I knew were terrible. But they were scum, like me, so if I poured enough love and generosity on them, healed them with my love, I might actually be worth something. There's a strange ego that rolls around inside the head of an abuse victim: we stay with people who abuse us because we want to punish ourselves, sure, but it's also vanity. Our spouses are so foul, nobody else would put up with them for a second. If not for us, they'd be alone. We are protecting our abusers from loneliness and heartache by enduring the unendurable. That makes us heroes, even if we have to die for it, as so many of us do. That's the way we think, if unchecked. The thing that helps me the most is using my past to help others. We really do have a rather terrible knowledge of this sort of terrible event, and that knowledge can become a mighty force for good. I used to teach art therapy at an abused children's home, and I told the kids, "you have a manure pile of memories. Nothing you can do about that. Now, you can either drown in the stink or turn it into compost and grow a garden. I am a good teacher to you because I know what you're going through. I understand because I've been through it too. This way, I use my rotten memories for good. I'm like Herbie from Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer. I pulled my bumble's teeth. He's still big and scary but he can't bite me anymore." Art is a priceless tool, too. I think it helped me not turn to drugs, like all my relatives did. And helping something heal is very powerful. My sense of worth was torn away by the filth of what was done to me but I'm the one who wouldn't let it back in. Doing something worthy helps a lot. I also tell stories of incest and abuse victims doing amazing things to help the world be a better place: Winston Churchill, Elizabeth Barrett-Browning, Eleanor Roosevelt, Ashley Judd, Gabriel Byrne, Oprah Winfrey, Terri Hatcher, and many others. I like to watch the movie The Miracle Worker whenever I get frustrated by a lost soul raging at me. It's about Helen Keller and her teacher Annie Sullivan, who dragged her into the world, kicking and screaming, and gave her her voice. My childhood was different in that my parents were the perpetrators..." To learn more about Rebecca, or to purchase her book, visit her at www.rebeccaodonnell.com

The most damaging thing that happened to me from my brother, his friends, and my dad raping me was self-hatred

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The EMMA Foundation for Healing

Warning Signs from our friends at

The EMMA Foundation for Healing

Dear friend, Without the support of our community, we would not be able to make this Foundation a reality for those in need of services and help with overcoming child sexual assault. We recognize and are very thankful for your kindness and involvement! Sincerely,

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Rachel Williams
Founder & President

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