Listening The Forgotten Skill A Self-Teaching Guide Second Edition Madelyn Burley-Allen iat EKONE KiTUPHAN ® John Wiley & Sons,,inc. New York * Chichester * Brisbane * Toronto * Singapore‘This text is printed on acid-fee paper ‘Copyright © 1995 by Madelyn Burley-Allen Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved. Published simultaneously in Canada, Reproduction or translation of any part of this work beyond that permitted by Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act without the ‘permission of the copyright owner is unlawiul. Requests for permission or farther information should be addeessed to the Permissions Department, Joh Wiley & Sons, Inc. “This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative informa- tion in regard co the subject matter covered, Is sold with the understand- ing that the publisher is not eagaged in rendering professional services. Tf legal, accounting, medical, psychological, or any other expert assistance is requited, the services of a competent professional person should be sought, Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data: Burley-Allen, Madelyn, Listening : the forgotten skill / Madelyn Bueley-Allen, — 2nd ed. p. cm, —(Aselfteaching guide) Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0-471-01587-3 (pbk) 1, Listening, 1. Title, TL. Series. BF323.L5B87 1995 650.1320 94-3343 Pinted in the United States of America w 98765432Contents Preface vii Acknowledgments xi 41 What Is Listening and What Can It Do for You? 1 Relationships, 4 Self-Awareness, 6 Professional Development and Success, 7 Listening and Interpersonal Powes, 11 Levels of Listening, 13, Self-Test, 20 2 How You Got to Be the Listener You Are 22 From Cradle to Childhood to Adulthood, 22 Scrokes, 25 Socialization Process, 28 Summary, 43 Self-Test, 44 3. Barriers between Listener and Speaker 46 ‘The Myth that Only Speaking Presents Power, 49 Pesception-Reception-Avtention, 50 Hearing What You Want to Hear, 54 Biased Listening, 55 Green Flag Words, 58 ‘The Effects of Emotions on Listening, 52 Soyles of Listening, 60 Physical Barriers, 64 Semantic Baier: The Meanings Are in People, Not Words, 65 Can You Separate Extemal Realty from Experience? 67 External Distractions, 68 ‘The Importance of Listening to Nonverbals, 70, Discrepancies, 73 : Better Quality Information, 75 Sammary, 79 Self-Test, 80 4 Listening to Yourself 82 Inteenal Thought Process, 83, Going Nowhere Cycle, 83,