THE GREATEST PAPER EVER WRITTEN ON HUMILITY

Ouriel Hazan Promoting Jewish Values and Spirituality Dr. David Pelcovitz Azrieli School of Education Summer 2011

Introduction One can reasonably assume it would be inappropriate to begin a paper on humility by presupposing the reader wants my opinion on this complicated virtue. That is why I will delay indulging my arrogance and leave my personal thoughts and conclusions until later. For now it may be best ot start with a simple operational definition of humility. Ah, and now we run into our first problem.

In reviewing the current research on humility, nearly every researcher seeks to begin their paper with a simple operational definition. It seems like the prudent thing to do after all how can you discuss a construct without a clear definition of the term? The problem is that Humility, the virtue itself, does not enjoy the spotlight.

Once you turn the proverbial magnifying glass on humility and ask it to tell you about itself, it shies away from the attention and doesnt easily reveal its true virtues. Well this hardly seems like a good way to start, so what does one do when they need a term defined?

Dr. June Price Tangney PhD. of George Mason University wrote an important article in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology which truly helps pave the road to understanding humility from the clinical sense. She begins her article by looking to the dictionary for a

definition.

For many, humility simply means holding oneself in low regard. For example the Oxford English Dictionary (1998), humility is defined as the quality of being humble or having a lowly opinion of oneself; meekness, lowliness, humbleness: the opposite of pride or haughtiness Funk and Wagnalls Standard College Dictionary (1963) as lowly in kind, state, condition, of little worth; unimportant; commonlowly in feeling; lacking self-esteem; having a sense of insignificance, unworthiness, dependence, or sinfulness; meek; penitent (p. 653). (Tangney p. 483)

I decided to follow suit and found that Merriam Websters 2011 online dictionary defines humility as displaying submissive qualities, or someone who sees themselves as insignificant. I then decided to ask a few of my colleagues to define humility in their own words so as to ascertain what humility meant in common parlance. Not surprisingly, many responded with definitions similar to Websters dictionary, including: someone who displays self-effacing or self-nullifying qualities. It may be surprising however to find that neither current research nor classic Torah sources share the opinion of any dictionary definition of the term.

In this paper I will first summarize the most current research and data on humility from a variety of perspectives. Some articles focus on how humilty and leadership relate, some explore the health benefits of humility, some explain the interplay between humility and religious observance, and still others look for humility in the most unexpected places; namely, extreme sports enthusiasts. I will then share the reflections from Torah perspectives and give examples of humility as I found them in my family, friends and mentors.

Tangney, J. P. (2000). Humility: Theoretical perspectives, empirical findings and directions for future research.
Tangney Although humility is commonly equated with a sense of unworthiness and low self regard, true humility is a rich multifaceted construct that is charechterized by an accurate assessment of ones charechteristics, an ability to acknowledge limitations, and a forgetting of the self. Scientific study of humility is still in its infancy. First, the concept of humility is linked to values and religon in many peoples minds. A second factor undoubtedly contributing to the neglet of humility is the lack of a well-established measure of this construct. If you cant measure it, you cant study it. , unworthiness, dependence, or sinfulness; meek; penitent (p. 653). Emmons (1998) Although humility is often equated in peoples minds with low self-regard and tends to activate images of stoopedshouldered, self deprecating, weak willed soul only too willing to yield to the wishes of others, in reality humility is the antithesis of this caricature. To be humble is not to have a low opinion of oneself, it is to have an accurate opinion of oneself. It is the ability to keep ones

talents and accomplishments in perspective (Richards 1992), to have a sense of self acceptance, an understanding of ones imperfectios, and to be free from arrogance and low self esteem. Templeton (1997) To believe that you have no worth, or were created somehow flawed or incompetent, can be foolish. Humility represents wisdom. It is knowing you were created with special talents and abilities to share with the world; but it can also be an understanding that you are one of many souls created by God, and each has an important role to play in life. Inherent in humility resides an open and receptive midit leaves us more open to learn from others and refrains from seeing issues and people only in blacks and whites. Arrogance promotes separation rather than community. Humility carries with it an open-mindedness, a willingness to admit mistakes and seek advice, and a desire to learn (Hwang, 1982; Templeton, 1997) A person who has gained a sense of humility is no longer phenomenologically at the center of his or her world. The focus is on the larger community, of which he or she is one part. From this perspective, the excessively self deprecating person can be seen, in some important respects, as lacking humility. Such apparently humble protests betray a marked self focus. The person remains at the center of attention, with the self as the focus of consideration and evaluation. As Means, Strum, Biron, and Bach (1990) observed, humility is an increase in the valuation of others and not a decrease in the valuation of oneself (p. 214) Meyers True humility is more like self forgetfulnessIt leaves people free to esteem their special talents and, with the same honesty, to esteem their neoghbors. Both the neighbors talents and ones own are recognized as gifts and like ones height, are not fit subjects for either inordinate pride or self derpication. (p. 38) Tangney proposes the following key elements that describe and define humility: An accurate assessment of ones abilities and achievements (not low self esteem, self deprication) An ability to acknowledge ones mistakes, imperfections, gaps in knowledge, and limitations Openness to new ideas, contradictory information, and advice Keeping ones abilities, accomplishments ones place in the

world in perspective A relatively low self-focus, a forgetting of the self while recognizing that one is but a part of the larger universe An appreciation of the value of all things, as well as the many different ways that people and things can contribute to our world

In defining complex constructs such as humility, as well as in developing mesurement instruments, it is important to specify how the focal construct differs from other related but distinct concepts. The construct of narcissim is perhaps the most closely related to humility. Narcissim is, according to the social psychology concept, a focus on gradiosity, an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and an over estimation of ones abilities. When clinicians refer to a person with narcissim, they generally have in mind a seriously disturbed individual who exhibits pervasive adjustment difficulties that go hand in hand with a DSM IV diagnosis of a personality disorder (American Psychiatric Association, 1994). Researchers have shown that narcissistic individuals are sensitive to interpersonal slights, quick to anger, and less inclined to forgive others (Exline & Baumeister, 2000; Exline, Campbell, Baumeister, Joiner & Krueger, in press; Sandage, Worthington, Hight, & Barry, 2000; Tangney, Boone, Fee & Reinsmith, 1999) A focus on humility promotion is most likely to be observed. In the treatment of narcissistic personality disorder. Although we have some clear definitions of humility, comprehensive theories or models need to be developed and refined which in turn would form a solid foundation for assessment. Personality and individual differences aside, most of us have humility in some situations, but not in others. In one of the few studies to explicitly address the psychology of humility, Exline et al. (2000) found results suggestive of a link between humility and forgiveness. People who were successfully primed to experience humility were slower to retaliate in response to a provocation on a laboratory task. Insight-oreiented, humanistic, and existential therapies are especially likely to include examination and exploration of ones place in the world.

A common goal in virtually all talk therapies is to help clients develop a realistic assessment and acceptence of both their strengths and their weaknesses. Outside the therapists office, parents, teachers, heros, and community leaders all play a role in modeling (or not modeling) a sense of humility for the sake of the subsequent generation. Thus the present bottom line is that the measurement of humility remains an unsolved challenge in psychology. People like and feel less threatened by others who are modest anbout their achievemnts, whereas boasful, arrogant behavior often results in social disapproval.

Halling et al. (1994) observed that doing research on humility is humbling. By its very nature, the construct of humility poses some special challenges in the area of measurement. It is worth noting that researchers generally rely on self-report methods for assessing personality traits. In the case of humility, however, there is a potentially serious catch. To the degree that a key component of humility is forgetting the self, self-reflction and selfreport of ones level of humility may be oxymoronic. As Singh (1967) remarks, true humility is freedom from all consiousness of self, which includes the consiousness of humility. The truly humble man never knows that he humble (page 4).

Scientists distrust a self report of humility. Would you buy a book entitled, How I Achieved Perfect Humility? Ah, theres the problem. If a man tells you how humble he is, that might in itself disqualify him from humilty. On the other hand, he might be giving a straightforward and honest self assessment.
But Judaism was not intended to be an elitist society. You are children to Hashem (Deuteronomy 14:1) was said to Klal Yisrael, all of Israel. Every person is dear to Hashem.

Who is honored? He who honors others (Pirke Avos 4:1)

We arise in the morning and say, Hashem, the neshamah you instilled within me is pure. The neshamah was breathed into man at creation, and as the Zohar points out, When one exhales, it comes from within oneself, and inasmuch as the Torah says that Hashem breathed the neshamah into man, it is part of Hashem Himself. Every person thus has something of Hashem within oneself, and that is what gives one inestimable value. Halacha reinforces this point. If someone is ordered to kill another person or be killed, halacha requires that he accept martyrdom. What makes you think that your blood is redder than someone elses blood? (Pesachim 25b). Atricle in the latest psychology today magazine on narcissim, which provides an extreme contrast to humility. 1 Narcisists simultaneously devalue others even as they need others admiration 2 narcisits repeatedly put down other people. Rav Chaim Voloszhin says that moshes humility was a cause for the nature of his profesy. The Tulmud in Sotah 5A says that someone who is haughty Hashem says I cant fit in the same place as that person. The Zohar explains that Hashems voice actually came through moshes mouth.

Means, J. R., Wilson, G. L., Sturm, C., & Biron, J. E. (1990). Humility as a psychotherapeutic formulation. Humility treatment formulation: Initial interventions include linking interpersonal conflicts and eliciting charechteristic responses of the client. The initial theraputic goal is to identify and clarify the emotional experience of failure associated with the clients past maladptive responses. If the dysfunctional nature of the clients assumptionas and behavior is

clearly identified, then the client may be ready for a rather novel theraputic intervention: I wonder if a realitively simple solution to your problems may be to excersize more humility in th way you deal with other people. It must be stressed that humility is an increase in the valuation of others and not a decrease in the valuation of oneself. Also humility is the acceptence of ones real inadequacies. Humility instruction as a theraputixc intervention is inteded as a counterpoint to assertiveness or aggression/anger control training. First, humility is a recognition that one cannot control every situation in which one finds oneself. Second, it is a willingness to admit ones real inadequecies to oneself, and perhaps to others. Third, genuine empathy is encouraged by considering how ones actions affect others. Finally, a general attitude of patience and gentelness is fostered. Often the client interprets humility as a to put oneself down or give up former (grandiose) dreams of success.

Brymer, E., & Oades, L. G. (2009). Extreme sports: A positive transformation in courage and humility Extreme sports and extreme sports participants have most commonly been explored from a negative perspective, for example, the need to take unnecessary risks. This study explored what can be learned from extreme sport about courage and humility, two positive psychology constructs.
Results indicate that humility and courage can be deliberately sought out by participating in activities that involve a real chance of death, fear, and the realization that nature in its extreme is far greater and more powerful than humanity. For Ogilvie (1974), participants are extremely autonomous people who march to their own beat (page 93), are self assertive, forthright, and emotionally stable. Another typical response is that participation at such an extreme level teaches humility (Ahluwalia, 2003; Breashears, 1999; Muir, 2003; Spence, 2001).

For Gonzales (2003) humility is an essential element for successful participation in extreme environements, a humility that Gonzales related to the Zen philosophy of bein open in attitude. I have never met anyone who has stood, however precariously, on the flanks of a great mountain, and not come back changed. Changed how? More humble, perhaps, more aware of the fragility of life (page 232) Well for me its about accepting that youre mortal and that your very vulnerable and that youre like a piece of dust really or a leaf in the wind. When you accept that then the power of one day becomes more than just paying lip service to an idea. I had changed. I found myself to be more forgiving and more patient; reflection replaced reaction more often than before. If ever there was a mountain that can temper human arrogance and teach humility, its Everest. Thus it would seem that participation at a level where death is a potential outcome, where the external is clearly more powerful and aids learning about the internal, triggers humility.

Worthington, E. L., Jr. (2008). Humility: The quiet virtue Humility is equally valued in all people or cultures. People most value humility within religious seekers. It seems somehow most appropriate to seek God in humble posture. As a group Americans are least accepting of humility in leaders. False modesty says, Look how wonderful I am for being modest. Perhaps humility is another virtue that is, in our minds, quiet but speaks loudly through actions. Humility shows up as modesty without a hint of false modesty. It involves an absence of arrogance, pride, and narcissitic entitelemnt. It incorporates honesty with self and sensitive honesty towards others (not presuming to tell others unwanted or unhelpful, though honest, feedback). William Temple said, Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than of other people, nor does it mean having a

low opinion of your own gifts. It means the freedom from thinking about yourself at all. What are the effects of being humble? In short humble people are thought to have better physical, mental, relational, and spiritual health. But mostly humility involves unselfish service to others. Conclusion: There is a wonderful quote about humility: There is no limit to what can be done if it doesnt matter who gets the credit The author, appropriately is unknown. Humility doesnt call attention to itself.

References Brymer, E., & Oades, L. G. (2009). Extreme sports: A positive transformation in courage and humility. Journal of Humanistic Psychology, 49(1), 114-126. doi:10.1177/0022167808326199 Kaufman, S. B. (2011). The peacock paradox. (cover story). Psychology Today, 44(4), 56-63. Retrieved from http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx? direct=true&db=a9h&AN=61872874&site=ehostlive&scope=site Krause, N. (2010). Religious involvement, humility, and self-

rated health. Social Indicators Research, 98(1), 23-39. doi:10.1007/s11205-009-9514-x Means, J. R., Wilson, G. L., Sturm, C., & Biron, J. E. (1990). Humility as a psychotherapeutic formulation. Counselling Psychology Quarterly, 3(2), 211-215. doi:10.1080/09515079008254249 Nielsen, Rob, Marrone, Jennifer, A., Slay, Holly, S., (2010) A new look at humility: Exploring the humility concept and its role in socialized charismatic leadership. Journal of Leadership & Organizational Studies, 17-33 Rowatt, W. C., Powers, C., Targhetta, V., Comer, J., Kennedy, S., & Labouff, J. (2006). Development and initial validation of an implicit measure of humility relative to arrogance. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 1(4), 198-211. doi:10.1080/17439760600885671 Tangney, J. P. (2000). Humility: Theoretical perspectives, empirical findings and directions for future research. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 19 (1), 70-82.

Retrieved from http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx? direct=true&db=psyh&AN=2000-15337-006&site=ehostlive&scope=site Worthington, E. L., Jr. (2008). Humility: The quiet virtue. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 27(3), 270-273. Retrieved from http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx? direct=true&db=psyh&AN=2008-14631-008&site=ehostlive&scope=site