COACHING i n t e r n a t i o n a l

NUGGET

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Wholeness

Learning Objectives
Individuality is only possible if it unfolds from wholeness. David Bohm

What is Wholeness?
? Understand what

wholeness is Have an ? overview of Wholeness as a self coaching and coaching process

Wholeness means that you lack nothing. You don't need anyone or anything to complete you, or to supply you with self-esteem, love, respect, admiration, freedom, gratitude, honour, support, power, peace, or any other aspect of being. The circle is a symbol of your wholeness. There is nothing it does not contain. You have everything you need within you. But why don't we live that way? Why do we crave other's validation? Why do we seek to be liked, and feel hurt at rejection? Why are relationships a source of such power struggles and pain? Picture this. Once upon a time we knew the circle was perfect. We experienced peaceful self-fulfilment and knew that we were whole. And then life happened. Forgetting that we are always whole, we became confused about life's experiences and started to believe that parts of us are good and others bad. We mistakenly thought that qualities of our nature were a cause of pain. And from that moment, an inner war began. Limiting self-beliefs crept in and in ignorance we took them as true. Here are some examples:
? I shouldn't cry ? Anger is bad, I/they shouldn't be angry ? Bragging makes others upset ? Depending on others causes pain ? Showing weakness gets you powerless and then others can hurt you ? I must be good or bad things will happen ? I am not loved ? I don't belong ? If I'm ordinary no one will give me attention ? Being stupid is embarrassing ? Safe people are kind, I must only be kind ? Losing control is painful ? Ugly gets you rejected ? Failure is shame ? Emotions are painful, so I better stop feeling

These limiting self-beliefs create suffering. The mind starts to seek evidence to support its belief and grows a strong case for justifying the belief as 'true'. At a core level, the ignorant mind is trying to protect us by keeping us from perceived pain. But, what is the consequence? We then try to evict or suppress aspects of our being. We deny our wholeness and superimpose a mental JIGSAW over our wholeness. Living as a mental jigsaw creates all emotional suffering. Reclaim your wholeness, and live from that truth and you earn an unmatched freedom. A freedom that comes from knowing that you are whole.

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com

COACHING i n t e r n a t i o n a l

NUGGET

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Wholeness part 1

Learning Objectives
Individuality is only possible if it unfolds from wholeness. David Bohm

Why do we use Wholeness?

? See why we use

Wholeness Learn when to ? use Wholeness Comprehend ? how to use Wholeness

Coaching and self-coaching the awareness of our innate wholeness is liberating and empowering. People discover their true, natural personal power when then live from the knowing that they are whole.

? Internal Referencing, means being able to

source what you need from within yourself.

? External Referencing, means looking for what

you need externally, from others and from your environment.

Coaching is an entire profession that builds Internal Referencing by honouring the truth that we are all whole and complete.

When do we use Wholeness? As someone interested in self-empowerment and coaching, an understanding of this nugget will support you every day. Let this nugget strengthen your ability to stay in Coach Position (non-judgemental, professional, no agenda, and equal-to) by seeing yourself and others as whole and complete, even if they don't see this. A great coach holds the space of honouring innate resourcefulness and simply points attention to finding what we need within ourselves. So use this nugget in the background to all coaching. Then combine this with other Personal Power nuggets as mini or full PQF's (Powerful Question Frames). Use these as and when are relevant and needed.

How do we use Wholeness? Firstly, understand the nugget as completely as you can. Work with it for a few days. Reflect on its meaning and significance in your life and in your growth. Then start weaving it into your self-coaching and coaching.

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com

COACHING i n t e r n a t i o n a l

NUGGET

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Wholeness part 2

Learning Objectives
Individuality is only possible if it unfolds from wholeness. David Bohm

? Comprehend

Here is an explanation of the ILS Wholeness and Jigsaw chart. POLARITY PAIRS: Within the circle are polarity pairs of qualities, living in balance. Example: ? Extroverted ~ introverted ? Giving ~ taking ? Strong ~ weak ? Happy ~ sad ? Expressing ~ listening ? Selfish ~ selfless ? Responsible ~ irresponsible ? Honest ~ lying ? Confident ~ withdrawn ? Etc. Each polarity pair is a seed potential within us. Sometimes it is natural to give, other times natural to take. Sometimes we are weak, others times strong. The list of these polarities is long. They represent all possible expressions, from one extreme to another. Later when we look at the Pendulum Nugget, you learn more about these polarities. PLUS MINUS: When we start to form ignorant judgements about certain qualities. We even give them new labels to solidify their fate. Receiving might become selfish! Confident may become arrogant. Gentle might become weak. We set up this inner reality to suit our limiting beliefs. One part of each polarity pair is judged as BAD and its opposite as GOOD. ? The bad quality is then suppressed, made MINUS. Shown in the diagram as the indentation of the jigsaw. ? And its opposite, the so called good quality is exaggerated, elevated and projected. Shown as the projection of the jigsaw. This becomes a MASK. So the illusion of not being whole, the ignorance of our true nature, provides two functions, veiling and projecting which work together. Veiling (MINUS) is the mind's futile attempt to hide and suppress. Projection (PLUS) is the mind's attempt to show and impose ideas on the world. Once the mental jigsaw is created, we further project it onto how we see others and the world. (See ILS Relate2Great). The jigsaw is dynamic and ever moving according to our current self-image. Some indentations are old, the consequence of years of reinforced habitual belief. Others come and go in each moment. Personal Power comes from challenging the limiting self-imposed beliefs that keep us mentally distorted, and liberating ourselves by reclaiming our true nature as whole and complete.

how to use Wholeness continued

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com