Green 1 Bonnie Green Professor Ellen Harcourt WRT 1010, Section 09 September 29, 2013 Being Different For

eighteen years, and then some, I have identified myself as a Jewish female living in Livonia, Michigan. Oftentimes, it feels like a paradox, both a joy and a struggle. Even though we live in a world of technology and information where we can find facts about just about any subject at the click of a button, there is still so much ignorance about faiths different from our own. So, allow me to elaborate on what it means to be a Jewish female from Livonia. First of all, it means not having a large Jewish community in Livonia. The only other Jewish children from your childhood were those you knew at Sunday school, and those were forced friendships; you hardly ever spoke outside of the warm congregation that smelled like dogs. It means being very different at school, especially as a young child. It means not knowing what its like to celebrate Christmas or Easter and not really caring about Santa, but still leaving cookies out in front of the close-doored fireplace on Christmas Eve, half hoping Mother might take a bite or two of them to indulge you, half knowing that she wouldnt. It means feeling slightly disillusioned while watching The Polar Express, A Charlie Brown Christmas, The Santa Clause, and The Grinch. It means having to explain to friends, classmates, and teachers what your own foreign holidays are about, usually dumbing it down considerably. Rosh Hashanah is our New Year. Its in September. Hanukkah is like the Jewish version of Christmas. On Passover, I cant eat bread for a week. Its easier than giving the whole story, which is what most of your holidays are based on. It means that you used to be very open with talking about

Green 2 Judaism, but being considered different and even strange during elementary school taught you to keep your mouth shut about your religion. You bring it up only if its necessary. Being a Jewish female means being raised differently. If your parents are naturally conservative with their money, you have unintentionally fulfilled the stereotype of being an obsessively frugal Jew. It means growing up learning Yiddish and Hebrew phrases like shtick, schlep, or nudge and using them casually while talking to friends, then having to clarify yourself. And, obviously, it means eating differently. It means not being able to eat most of what Taco Bell or McDonalds has to offer because eating milk and meat together is not allowed. It means fasting at least one day a year and missing school, both for religious reasons and so that there is no temptation when lunchtime comes around. It means eating a very strict regimen on Passover: no grains, yeast, flour. Only certain foods picked out ahead of time are allowed to be taken to school. No trading with the other kids for cookies. It means not eating catfish, shrimp, crab, lobster, or pork. Eating bacon is a guilty pleasure. It means losing faith from time to time. Praying for your sick grandfather with all your heart, but he passes away, causing other plans to fall out to make way for his funeral and grieving. It means feeling detached from God, not wanting to light Shabbos candles on Friday evenings, thinking whats the point of praying, but muttering the Hebrew with hands clamped over eyes anyway to please Mother. It means feeling torn, wanting to stand up for what you believe in, say equal rights for gay individuals, but being retorted with the famous quote, man shall not lie with man. It means going to holiday services dressed up with family. It means long sessions of sitting and standing and listening to the chazzan draw out the prayers with his extensive, off-key singing.

Green 3 It means trying to find a Jewish mate. It means having a crush on this one boy in class, but knowing that he wouldnt get Mothers approval because of his religious affiliation and that he doesnt like you back anyway. It means dating a couple Jewish boys out of the whole span of your dating career, but they were either not that good-looking, lived a distance away, or not very nice boys. It means having unruly curly dark hair. It means having extra hair on your arms, upper lip, and stomach that all must be removed in order to feel pretty. It means going out of your way to look nice, getting your hair just right, putting on make-up to accentuate your darker than dark eyes, putting on the cutest outfit you can that goes with your off-olive skin tone, and getting not even the smallest compliment or acknowledgment. It means feeling unloved from time to time because youre scared people think youre too different. Being a Jewish female means getting odd looks and reactions from friends and congregation members when you tell them youre going to a Catholic university. It means trying to shrug it off, when the disappointment of being rejected from the University of Michigan, where all your Jewish friends from youth group are going, is still gnawing at you inside like a hunger pain. It means meeting new friends who dont know how different you are yet. It means slipping in my grandfather was a survivor when your new friend brings up the Holocaust and feeling let down when that doesnt get more recognition. But, it also means explaining your holidays to your friends who are eager to know about you and your unique traits. They might even ask to go with you to services sometime. It means being a part of a strong culture that teaches you to learn from the past, not to take any bull from anybody. It means loving others, not wanting to treat anybody else with cruelty, because you have lived and learned through being different.