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Elizabeth Witham Professor Rand ENGL 1103 11 Nov. 2013

Coping with Stress Brushing her bangs off of her face and slamming her backpack onto the kitchen table, she tries to steady herself with a couple of deep breaths. However, it is already too late. A list of assignments she needs to complete is firing off in her head while the tears began to spill from her eyes. Glancing at the clock on the microwave, which reads 7:03, stressing about how much sleep she will not get that night. Maybe she shouldnt have auditioned for a play her first semester in high school. The rehearsals were time consuming and she had to spend much more time on her homework than she had to in middle school. As a freshman in high school, I lived through many scenes like the one described above. I would cry almost every single night because I was so stressed and I didnt know how to handle it effectively. Reflecting on that time in my life, now as a freshman in college, I realize that the situations Im facing are much more challenging. However, I rarely cry. I have a better understanding of stress now, and have learned how to adequately deal with it. How can you cope with something you dont understand? Lets examine some basic facts about stress. It is a state of psychological tension or strain (Maisto and, Morris 363). What is causing you to worry right now? Stress can come from a number of origins. Not every cause of stress is negative, take for instance starting college. While this is exciting and generally

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a positive experience, many people are nervous to begin college. It can cause one to stress because it is an unfamiliar situation with new people. Change can be positive. However, change can also evoke anxiety (Maisto and, Morris 364). It is a part of human nature to enjoy a schedule and certain predictability to life. Innately, we dont like change. The transition into college can be an incredibly stressful time. Every aspect of ones life changes, their home, friends, classes, even the food they eat. That is a lot of new experiences for a teenager to handle. Once settled into a routine of campus life, there are still new challenges that arise daily. A majority of unease that college students experience stems from common inconveniences. Some examples of that are if a students alarm does not work, or if they are late to class, or if the cafeteria runs out of their favorite food. These are minor situations that can add to a students general unease. Serious events, such as having to pay for tuition or harm to a family member seem like they would be the main source of stress, but oftentimes a little event is what can be the final straw. Frustration may build up due to all off these minor situations (Maisto, Morris 366). Students may also feel pressure to perform well from their parents, their peers and even themselves. Conflicts in ones life might also cause stress (Maisto, Morris 366). Despite the amazing experience that college is, it is extremely stressful. How do undergraduates handle it? Students can either directly or defensively handle the factors, -such as change, common inconveniences, pressure, or conflict- that can cause them to experience tension (Maisto, Morris 369). To directly cope with stress, students can consciously choose to take action to change unpleasant conditions (Maisto, Morris 369). Students can directly cope with stress by

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confronting the situation, compromising with others, or withdrawing from uncomfortable circumstances (Maisto, Morris 370-371). But what happens when you are unable to take action, such as confronting, compromising or withdrawing, from a stressor? There is nothing you can do to change the fact that a loved one passes away. How does one confront this? You can only control your reactions. While in some situations it is mature to remove yourself, some things you shouldnt step away from, so as to handle it in a healthy manner. To defensively handle stress college students might use self-deceptive methods such as denial, repression, projection, identification, regression, intellectualization, reaction formation, displacement or sublimation (Maisto, Morris 371-372). Many of these are not healthy. College students may unconsciously choose to use these methods because dealing with it in a different manner seems unbearable or impossible (Maisto, Morris 371). If you repressed memories of feelings of the past it will be harder for you to live in the present. While dealing with traumatic life changing events are obviously not easy or fun or something most people would want to face head on with excitement, there is another way, healthier than the defensive strategies, to handle the painful experiences. Stress can come from change, frustration or conflict and can be coped with directly or with defense mechanisms. These decisions to manage stress are not sufficient (Maisto, Morris 369). While it may aid college students to deal with stress temporarily, will they one day be able to experience complete peace, regardless to their circumstances? Not according to the research we have referenced so far. In the American Psychology Associations Stress in America Findings it reveals that the nation is overstressed and many citizens struggle to balance their lives (7). Stress in America

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Findings also shows that the majority of Americans are living with moderate or high levels of stress (7). With the majority of the population having a place to sleep and food to eat, what is causing Americans to stress? The APA also concluded that in 2010 76% of the people surveyed reported experiencing moderate to severe stress about money (8). In American culture many children grow up to believe that you must make impressive grades in high school to gain admittance to a respected college so they can be hired for a well-paying prestigious job. Having financial security doesnt remove all of the stress from ones life. The worldly manners college students are using to handle stress arent sufficient. The APAs findings go to show that direct coping or defense mechanisms are not enough to aid citizens to handle stress. What do people seek fulfillment in? For many, whether or not they realized it, they believe that their purpose in life is to get a high paying job and have successful career. This also shows how much Americans value financial security. American culture is focused on financial security, but what if you dont have that? Is the possibility of having an impressive job worth it? Many college students strive to be doctors, and put school work first and mental and physical health on the back burner. On page 399 of Understanding Psychology it reveals that the suicide rate for physicians is several times higher than that for the general population. This is terrible! Yes, being in the medical field is a respected practice, but that obviously isnt enough to give them peace regarding the other stressors of life. Perhaps doctors just have stressful jobs, do other high paid individuals experience peace? Tom Brady makes much more than the average doctor. He has an unusually high paying job. Many people would be shocked by a clip from an interview of him. It begins with a list of

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his accomplishments, and how impressive everything is since he started as an underdog. He admits to getting everything he ever wanted (Habeeb). Maybe what we want isnt whats best for us, so what is best for us? If so, who does know what is best for us? He also is surprised at all the baggage that comes with his job. They address the 10 million dollar contract he had with the patriots (Habeeb). Reflecting on his popularity, wealth and checklist of achievements, Brady reveals that he thinks there is more to life than that to life and that he wishes he knew what it was (Habeeb). He has everything that so many strive for and yet, he is still not completely satisfied. He still has to deal with the baggage that comes with it. No one considers all the emotionally challenging aspects to being a famous football player, most people just think of all of the money and how fun it must be to play a sport you love as a profession. This shows that what the American culture values, and what college students strive for, job security and wealth, is not enough to make all your worries disappear- and therefore unqualified to fully cope with stress. Some college students look to their friends for support. Yes, their peers might be able to be encouraging or supportive but they are only human too. What happens if a college student suffers from an eating disorder, such as anorexia? Their friends will not be enough to help them recovery from that. In high school two of my close friends were anorexic. One of them (lets call her Nora) seemed to have recovered from anorexia, while the other (Jill) was really struggling. Jill turned to our group of friends for support, but there was only so much that we could do. All of our love, support and words of encouragement could not change Jills mind or how she felt. Once Jill didnt eat all day, became really hungry, then ate an entire bag of chips. She called Nora, sobbing, because she hated herself for it. This was extremely hard on Nora, and brought

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back traumatic memories for her. In the end, we are all human; no one on earth has all the answers or strength to bear the weight of others emotional traumas. We cant fix each other. One cannot find complete satisfaction or peace in achieving their goals, accumulating wealth or depending on relationships. If defensive or direct coping mechanisms are inadequate for every day stress how is one supposed to handle serious traumas? My friend, Rose, has been through more traumatic situations than most people go through in their entire lives and she is only eighteen. Her parents divorced in second grade. Her Dad dated a woman for eleven years who was mentally and emotionally abusive to Rose. Her brother, Casey was diagnosed with cancer while he was in 4th grade and while she was in 6th. Casey has health issues even now, even though he is cancer free. As a junior, her step-dad, who she was very close to, was diagnosed with stage-four cancer and passed away (Jones). Getting good grades wouldnt have changed any of this. On day acquiring a lot of money wouldnt help her cope emotionally. There is only one way to handle all of the stress of life. God is the only way Rose got through all of her situations and is here today. Faced with all of the hardships she did, many people would become depressed or suicidal. However, God has worked in her life to give her peace and transform her into a selfless, loving and joyful person. Gods love shines through her actions; she is an example that prayer works. Before becoming a Christian she lived for herself, and was very concerned with what others thought of her and didnt know how to handle stress. She became a Christian a year after her brother was diagnosed with cancer. She prayed God will help her only to care about his opinion and that He would change her to live out His love (Jones). God hears prayers, things happen because you pray. Sometimes God might wait to answer, His thinking is so much higher than ours, and He

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has a plan for everything. He knows what we want but also has more perspective and knows what is best for us. He knows every detail about our past and future and the rest of eternity. Everything happens for a reason. He cares about every aspect of our lives and is thrilled when we turn to him. Rose has also prayed and people didnt get better, she prayed for her brothers leg to get better for a really long time and it wasnt. God is close to the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. When you are weak and cant force yourself to be strong God is close to you because you dont have any strength or walls. God is real and she couldnt have done it without him. I dont know your background. I dont know your past experiences with church or religious people. I am not trying to force my beliefs on you. All I know is that my relationship with Jesus Christ has given me a purpose in life, peace and true love, and I want that for everybody. I want to approach this in a personal, loving, non-judgmental way. I dont want to be condescending; it is not my place to judge anyone. Only God can be the judge because everyone sins, all sins are equal and God loves everyone equal. I am no better than anyone else. I certainly am not perfect and I dont have my life together. Being a Christian is not about maintaining a perfect lifestyle, it is about admitting you are weak and need a savior. There is nothing we could ever do to change how much God loves us; it is not something we can earn. I am not trying to lead a flawless life, but a life covered in the grace of Jesus. Also, the church isnt perfect but they are trying, and will keep pushing to love people. I have a passion and excitement to share this because it is the very best part of my life. I have best friends who dont believe in God, that doesnt change that I love them. In fact, I am called by God to love everyone. One of my best friends is gay; I wont judge him, I love him no matter what. But at

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the end of the day my heart breaks for them because their earthly ways of coping with stress are failing them and their lives lack the peace and hope I gain from my relationship with Jesus Christ. God is so very real, everything shows that truth. Three championship rings and millions of dollars were not enough for Tom Brady, but God is more than enough. Literally all of creation is evidence of God. Jesus called himself the light of the world. Every day the earth revolves around the sun, He laid down His life for us and the light went out. Every night the sun sets, but every morning the sun rises, just as Christ rose from the dead. Creation itself proclaims the story of the gospel every day. The sun and the moon are perfectly positioned in comparison to the Earth. If the moon were 1000 miles closer how would that effect the ocean currents? Did you know that droughts only occur because of pavement? God designed the earth perfectly. His thinking is so much higher than ours and we will never be able to comprehend His unconditional love. His unconditional love has been displayed throughout all of history. On the website Christianity.com they have a church history timeline. It includes covers many events including ones about Saints, the King James Bible, and the 2001 explosion of Christianity in Africa. Why would a lie persist through thousands of years of history and affect millions of people every day? Why would the disciples be martyred for a lie, after Jesus Christ had left earth? Early Christians were despised and yet they were willing to be tortured to stand up for what they believed in because it is the truth. They felt more peace while being tortured to death than many people experience while pursuing worldly means of happiness and security.

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The summer before I was a freshman in high school I accepted Jesus into my heart. While in middle school I was a very different person. I cussed, gossiped viciously and was very selfish. Once I had Jesus in my heart my life completely changed. As I prayed in high school I became closer to God and now I can pray and ask Him for peace and not stress. I am much happier. Through prayer, God helps me handle stress effectively now. God is big enough to handle anything. He can handle your procrastination. He can help you when your first college relationship ends. He can help doctors and football players and everyone on earth realize their full potential and experience peace through Him. I still have time consuming rehearsals and lots of homework but I can face it with a joyful heart, because God loves me and that is all that matters. I hope that through my life others can see Gods love. I encourage everyone to put their full trust in Jesus Christ, because He is the only way to truly eliminate stress from ones life.

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Reflection One of the most interesting things I learned while working on this paper was how high the suicide rate is for doctors, it is a really stressful job, but that is really sad. I struggled with just getting started on this paper. I really care about this topic and wanted to do it justice. I eventually procrastinated so much that I had to force myself to do it because of time constraints. My inquiry basically stayed the same from the first day we wrote questions on those large pieces of paper. The historical viewpoint is important because it shows how God is real and always has been. I do not think my analytical skills have changed from this project. I knew how I dealt with stress before this project and included that in it. I am most proud of the information from Roses interview. She as an wonderful example of how amazing Gods love is. I would like to know why people think they can find fulfillment in things that have not satisfied them in the past.

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Works Cited American Psychology Association. Stress In America Findings American Psychology Association, 10 Nov. 2010. Web. 29 Oct. 2013 Church History Timeline. Christianity.com. Salem Web Network, 2013. Web. 29 Oct. 2013. Habeeb, Scott. Tom Brady There has to be more than this. Online Video Clip. YouTube. YouTube, 28 July 2009. Web. 29 Oct. 2013. Morris, Charles and Albert, Maisto. Stress. Understanding Psychology. New Jersey: Pearson, 2010. 363-389. Print. Jones, Rose. Personal interview. 11 Nov. 2013. United States of America, Gross domestic product. 8 Sept. 2012. Web. 11 Nov. 2013
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