Community Organization and Program Management HPE7015 Leadership Assessment Julian Collins April 23, 2013

Part 1- Analysis of Leadership Style/Strengths

For this portion of the paper I competed the first Leadership style assessment as well the second one. Both were very extensive and took quite a bit of time to really answer the questions honestly and accurately but I do feel that I was able to get an honest portrait of my leadership abilities. According the first assessment I did not have any detectable limitations but my strengths include not having a tendency to micromanage; skilled at planning for longterm success; able to communicate my vision for success and having the skills and traits needed to be an effective motivator. The second assessment stated that my Leadership motivation sore was a 56, which is explained as a strong motivation to lead. All these things made me think. Personally while no limitations where talked about I know one big that can me spelled out in one word. ME. When I have taken the time to really reflect on myself I know that I am very capable of being a leader. I feel that I have great ideas while still offering a space for others to speak and voice their opinions; I am good at making decisions on the fly and can be very innovative especially when in front of people; I am engaging and able to motivate and captivate others who I work with. My main problem is that I sometimes doubt myself and my abilities. I felt that these assessments while fun in theory are pretty accurate but it does not take into account the real life factor. On paper I feel that what these assessments say are very true and accurate but when you take into account the many factors that life throws the results can change quickly. Things such as confidence in ones self and abilities should be asked in all of these assessments because that is a big deciding factor in how good of a leader I am in theory as well as in practice. I am personally working on these things through much meditation and taking the time to calm and affirm myself when I am placed in positions where I am able to show leadership but it is not something that can happen overnight. I have also learned to start taking opportunities to lead so as to get better at making

decisions and acting as a leader. These have been giving me the confidence to be the theoretical leader I am capable of being.

Part 2- Crafting your path as a leader

Core ValuesI remember working on my core values when I was in high school but through growth and maturity I believed they have changed some. I filled in the black spaces with 4 of mine own and they include creativity, ministry, empowerment and open-mindedness. I never really had a list of ten that I felt strongest about going right to the list of 6 instead of 5; those where wisdom, love, creativity, Justice, empowerment and ministry. From this list and after mush thought I was able to break this list down to 3 which are; love, creativity and empowerment. 3 people principle centered leaders that I most admire currently are Jesus, Nelson Mandela, and Martin Luther King. I chose these leaders believing they displayed putting the well-being of others before themselves by serving and in cases even giving up their life for others. I this is part of what kept them going, understanding that their work was for a greater good. I know that many times people decide to stop because they cannot see the point of what they are doing nor did they see any change happening in the future. I believe these leaders understood their purpose and that this work must be done and they were given the opportunity to do it. I think that my personal values help me to connect to my organization because due to the love of people I work to empower others to make healthy sexual decisions for themselves. I think that my organization is a place where we give people the chance to make decisions for their life where they may not get a chance to do so otherwise and that is very important.

Privilege vs. MarginsWhen thinking about my life I have had experience in both being both privileged and marginalized. Being a Gay African American male I fall into many minority groups but feel that that has made me the unique individual that I am and allowed me to learn

how to fit in where I need to while still holding on to my identity. As an educated person I have had the chance to experience things that many others havent I feel that these privileges have also added to who I am and as definitely enhanced my life. In my social settings I have explored the margins of my community and social group and did not feel comfortable operating in that vein because it was so far different from who I am and what I believe in that it was a very shocking feeling but I was able to dwell there for a bit and find commonalities we could all agree on. I think in my job I am given positions where I can experience and explore the margins thoroughly because its part of the mission that my company works toward. I feel that varied experiences have made me the multi-faceted person who is a very capable leader. I feel that through my experiences I am able to get a feel for a room quickly and find my allies and understand the power players in order to survive. I bring in ingenuity and out of the box thinking that cannot be learned in school or a book to get things done. I also feel that different way of thinking has helped me to hold on to my identity as well as my freedom because I am trapped in a way of thinking that others are sometimes held hostage by. I think a person in a position of privilege can sometimes find ways to work directly with the people they are trying to work help and get out of their ivory tower. That will allow them to see what is really going on and get a better understanding of how to react to situations. It is good for people making decisions to sometimes take a moment to see how those are actually affecting others and what are the reactions and mindsets of those who live day to day with a decision made.

Crafting a VisionIn crafting the visions of what I see and what ought to be I decided to focus on something that disproportionately affects my community and a lot of my friends deal with HIV. I included people looking for love affection belonging and looking for in sex. I also included people who are trying to have sex to mask anger, depression, and other emotions while also hiding HIV status leading to many people getting HIV and now having to deal with having an incurable disease along with all the other feelings. In what should be I saw people asking about status using condoms and getting tested I saw educators empowering people through knowledge giving them the tools to make

decisions for the best them. I displayed the love for people educators have while also displaying empowerment through books and giving knowledge and tools. This is a problem that happens all too often that bothers me and I want to see change. I feel that this vision is in keeping with the common good because I feel everyone is looking to reduce the rates of HIV and other STDs and this population is disproportionately affected. By having a personal tie to this issue I feel that is what will help when having to go against critics and the fact that this is a true and valid issue. There is definitely a chance for this to become a movement with great marketing this could become a phenomena.

Gracious Space
I think I am a person who is full of humor able to assume the good in people who is not too head strong and unchangeable. I feel that these are some of my great attributes but I do know I have things to work on as well. I need to work affirming others, being comfortable not knowing everything, and even my reliability. The biggest thing I need to work on is my affirming others because it is still not second nature for me and because I have not always been used to getting it I do not always give what others need. Currently I feel I work in one of the best environments where creative minds are able to work and come up with new ideas that can be taken to a table of equals and discussed and matured into a plan. This is one of the reasons I stay in my current position. Every day I usually start my day by interacting with my fellow coworkers which helps get me in the mood to work on current projects and helps me turn on and start my day. I usually tend to stay away from very dominating personalities do not allow for free thought. They feel their way is the only way. I also have issues with people who are very meek or very analytical, I do not like people with a lot of nervous energy because it causes me to be self-conscious and antsy these are all things I am currently working on personally.

Discovering Your Value

Personally right now I currently have a passion for nutrition partly because I am currently dealing with chronic disease issues that can be reversed by changes in diet and

lifestyle. I think we become so oblivious to exactly what we put into our bodies that we start harming ourselves in the name of living. With my life I am looking most to empower others to make choices that lead to a person living their best life whatever they think that could be. I feel that I can do this through giving people all the options so they have choices one of the ways I am exploring this myself is through a plant based diet. Though currently becoming mainstream it is still very hard for everyone to understand that you can live without a diet filled with animal products such as meat, dairy and eggs. I want people to be able to see that this is a choice that is viable through the way I live my life by showing others the process they can see that it is possible. I have started this by creating Facebook groups where people are able to express thoughts and concerns as well as support as I inspire people to try a plant based diet for 30 days. It is really fun and inspiring and I am currently leaning toward steering my career toward that direction as I gain more knowledge about the subject.

Practicing CourageCurrently there are many different places where I hold fear one includes making decisions about my future. Some times I am paralyzed by the fear of doing something wrong. This is part of the reason why I have shied away from some leadership roles in my life. I think my new outlook is that I was given this task for a reason and most act in the role of a leader because my vision is important not just to me but to better the community. I can start to act with more courage by taking a breath and affirming my worth to myself, telling myself that its ok to make mistakes it is part of learning and facing my fear daily by taking on more leadership roles. I feel like I am good at most of the practices of the common good leader but get tripped up with practicing courage which I try to overcome my fears dealing with it everyday.

Final Thoughts
Overall I think this activity allowed for deep introspection but some of it could be cut out. I think these are very good journal entries that can be used for some great mental health strengthening but I do not feel comfortable putting all of this information out for a class. I think I would have been able to dig deeper if I decided this what the time I was

going to do this and not assigned it for a class but I do feel that I will revisit Sharing the Rock when I feel I can devote my full attention to it. I think the leadership assessments gave you a chance to really answer questions about yourself objectively without some of the biases that we bring in. It was a shot of confidence personally to be able to see the results of the leadership assessment. It made me really remember that I am capable if I get out of my own way and that is just something that I am going to have to remember on a daily basis.