GQ British - January 2014

JANUARY 2014 3.
99
Inside the
Romanian
Gypsy gangs
of Park Lane
SPECIAL REPORT
Silicon
Valley
Love God!
Googles
Eric Schmidts
virtual sex life
GQ EXCLUSIVE!
Youve never read an interview like this! By Stuart McGurk Youve never read an interview like this! By Stuart McGurk
Benedict Cumberbatch
photographed for
British GQ by Platon
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JANUARY 2014 G
January 2014
90
Out of this world
The youngstars of the fourth
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JANUARY 2014 G 11
January 2014
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BRITISH
Features
Editors letter 19

Rod Liddle 29
Brace yourself for another
barrageofcalamitous counsel.
Hugo Rikind 30
How not to... travel light.
Details 37
Actress Gnesis Rodrguez steps out
of the shade; American Psycho:
The Musical; the gilets chic return;
Londons work-out trends.
Jokes 50
Ten funnies for your gag reel.
Exposure 55
A toast to the release of Piers Morgans
latest diary, Shooting Straight: Guns,
Gays, God, And George Clooney; the
Norman Mailer Centers annual gala.
Cars 58
McLarens 12C GT3, the gentlemans
supercar for the track or the road.
Taste 63
Follow GQs stylish Christmas menu
for a Turkey-less festive feast.
Travel 67
Make the most of Mauritius at
LeTouessrok; Marbella Clubs
ElLodge inSierra Nevada, Spain.
Tony Parsons 71
The art of the career reboot.
What I wear 74
A snapshot of Savile Row suit maker
Patrick Grants winter wardrobe.
Michael Wolf 108
Will Amazon CEO Jefrey Bezos be
able to save the Washington Post?
Dresser 119
THE ONE-STOP SECTION FOR
EVERYTHING MENSWEAR...
Zanone; Style Shrink; Graf; Dolce
&Gabbana; Luke Evans; Coach.
Grooming 133
Fighting the efects of pollution on
city skin; save face after festive
overindulgence with a 12-day detox.
GQ directory 136
Products, events and ofers.
Watches 141
Chopards Mille MigliaZagato.
Richard E Grant 144
Diary Of A Perfumed Ponce:
part two.
Talk
Art by Sophie Hastings 153
Bling and buy sale: artists and
collectors ock to Miamis art fair.
Sport by Martin Samuel 155
Extolling the virtues of pub games
against the sporting snobs.
Science by Richard Fisher 156
Dumb and dumber: how studying
stupidity can make us smart.
Music by Dorian Lynskey 157
Miley Cyrus transformation shows
the pressure women face in pop.
Politics by Matthew dAncona 158
Why stamina may be more important
than skill in the run up to 2015.
Comedy by James Mullinger 159
GQs resident jester risks his
comedicstripes at Set List, the
new improvised stand-up format.
Literature by Olivia Cole 160
A look into the life of Apples creative
genius, Jonathan Ive, the man who
designed our way of life.
Film 162
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues;
All Is Lost; The Hobbit: The Desolation
OfSmaug; The Armstrong Lie;
American Hustle; Nebraska.
Life 219
Tips to cut time of your cycle to work;
Sex Shrink; Q&A with Christian
Horner; personal-training session
No4; GQs golf day; Warrior Workout.
GQ intel 244
Craft distillers lead the Vodka revival.
On the cover
Benedict Cumberbatch wears rollneck
byRalph Lauren Purple Label, 745.
ralphlauren.com
ERIC SCHMIDTS LOVE LIFE by Chris Ayres 77
How the billionaire who runs Google has fallen foul of
the privacy-free world his company helped to create.
ANNABEL LL S by Bill Prince 106
Celebrating 50 years of Londons star-studded social hub.
THREAD.COMby Robert Johnston 147
Kieran ONeills personal sartorial service will team
you with the best-connected stylists in the business.
THE ROMAOF P A A PP RKLANEby Sam Knight 164
GQtalks to the Romanian Gypsies reviled by British
tabloids and European governments alike at the
vanguard of the UKs next wave of mass immigration.
COVERSTA TT R: BENEDICTCUMBERBATCH AA
by Stuart McGurk 174
Sherlocks resurrected star on his unstoppable rise up
the Hollywood A list, class war in the media and how he
has cheated death more often than his alter ego.
100 BESTTHINGS INTHE WORLD RIGHT NOW 182
Introducing GQs 18-page compendium of everything you
will want to wear, see, eat and experience in 2014.
THEDEFENCE OF EVIL by Robert Chalmers 200
After playing devils advocate for more than 50 years,
controversial lawyer Jacques Vergs gave his last
ever interview toGQ and fought one nal case: his own.
Fashion
LONDON COLLECTIONS: MENby Alexander Fury 90
GQmeasures up Britains nest emerging talents.
BOSSSPORTSMENby Paul Henderson 101
Four of the worlds professional elite get the Boss treatment.
JACKETSANDKNITS by Jo Levin and Dylan Don 208
Beat this seasons big chill with a chunky knit, featuring
Boss,Moncler and Louis Vuitton. Youre welcome.
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BRITISH

BRITISH
G JANUARY 2014
EDITOR
DYLAN JONES
PA TO THE EDITOR & EVENTS CO-ORDINATOR Stephanie Sleap
DEPUTY EDITOR Bill Prince CREATIVE DIRECTOR Paul Solomons CREATIVE FASHION DIRECTOR Jo Levin
MANAGING EDITOR Mark Russell FEATURES DIRECTOR Jonathan Heaf ASSOCIATE EDITOR Robert Johnston
SENIOR COMMISSIONING EDITOR Stuart McGurk COMMISSIONING EDITOR Charlie Burton HEALTH & SPORTS EDITOR Paul Henderson COMEDY EDITOR James Mullinger
ART DIRECTOR Warren Jackson DEPUTY ART DIRECTOR Phill Fields
SENIOR ART EDITOR John Hitchcox SENIOR DESIGNERS Wayne Hannon, Jon Snell DESIGNER James Ramsay JUNIOR DESIGNER Josh Glover
PHOTOGRAPHIC DIRECTOR James Mullinger DEPUTY PHOTOGRAPHIC EDITOR Georgina Breitmeyer ASSISTANT PICTURE EDITOR Cai Lunn
STYLE & GROOMING EDITOR Jessica Punter FASHION PRODUCTION EDITOR Philippa Jefrey ACTING FASHION PRODUCTION EDITOR Grace Gilfeather FASHION ASSISTANT Holly Roberts
CHIEF SUB-EDITOR George Chesterton
DEPUTY CHIEF SUB-EDITOR Jennifer Bradly SENIOR SUB-EDITOR Aaron Callow JUNIOR SUB-EDITOR Lee Stobbs
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CONTRIBUTING STYLE EDITOR Sascha Lilic LUXURY EDITOR Nick Foulkes CONTRIBUTING TRAVEL EDITOR Robert Elms EDITOR-AT-LARGE Adrian Deevoy
SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT Toby Young LITERARY EDITOR Olivia Cole EROTIC AFFAIRS EDITOR Rebecca Newman FENG SHUI EDITOR Tracey Emin WRITER-AT-LARGE John Naughton
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Naomi Campbell, Nick Candy, Robert Chalmers, Nik Cohn, Giles Coren, Iain Dale, Matthew dAncona, Johnny Davis, Alan Edwards, David Furnish, AA Gill, Anthony Haden-Guest,
Sophie Hastings, Mark Hix, Boris Johnson, John Kampfner, Simon Kelner, David Lamb, Tim Lewis, Frank Luntz, Craig McLean, Simon Mills, Piers Morgan, Ian Osborne, Tom Parker Bowles, Tony Parsons,
Oliver Peyton, Jonathan Ray, David Rosen, Darius Sanai, Simon Schama, Alix Sharkey, Ed Smith, Ed Vaizey, Ed Victor, Celia Walden, Jim White, Michael Wolf, Nicky Woolf, Robert Yates, Peter York
Contributing Photographers
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Jill Greenberg, Wilson Hennessy, Marc Hom, Benny Horne, Norman Jean Roy, Nicholas Kay, Tony Kelly, David LaChapelle, Brigitte Lacombe, Joshua Lawrence, Peter Lindbergh, Zed Nelson,
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CHAIRMAN, COND NAST INTERNATIONAL
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12
JANUARY 2014 G
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Y
ou only have to look at most of the
comments that follow pretty much
any piece on Media Guardian to see
that not everyone with access to
a laptop should be allowed to use it. In an age
in which journalists are nding it harder and
harder to get work, its good to know that
a lot of the great unwashed still dont have
the requisite skills to replace them.
Social media is all very well, and while
the likes of Amazons Jeff Bezos have made it
a mission to destroy the media gatekeepers,
a lot of internet noise reminds me of the
groundswell of activity that came in the wake
of punk in 1976 and 1977. Punk emancipated
an entire generation of approximate musicians,
empowering anyone who wanted to learn three
chords to get up on stage or make a record.
Which obviously resulted in a lot of
appalling music.
However, one of the areas in which (often
anonymous) online criticism has had some
genuine traction is in the world of lm.
Not least because a lot of professional lm
critics still appear to have such a symbiotic,
co-dependent relationship with the industry
that they nd themselves incapable of
genuine distance. Sure, they can be rude,
dismissive and disparaging when they
want to be, and the really good critics the
New Yorkers Anthony Lane or the Observers
Mark Kermode for instance rarely take
any prisoners, yet far too many are in thrall
to the very concept of celebrity.
As most anonymous internet bloggers
experience of and relationship to celebrity
is tangential, they can say what they damn
well like. And so they do, often, and with scant
regard for redress. The effect they have had on
the professional fraternity has been a good
one, although a lot of critics, especially those
who clamour for celebrity interviews, are still
painfully sycophantic when it comes to actors.
Regardless of the fact that actors are
employed to play other people, many critics
still seem bamboozled by this, going into
paroxysms of delight when the object of their
gaze appears to be doing exactly what theyre
meant to be doing. Particularly galling is their
insistence on describing someone as brave or
courageous in their choice of role, as though
playing against type is tantamount to signing
up for a three-year stretch in Helmand or
confronting a masked, armed assailant who
has just burst in through the patio doors.
The world of theatre is obviously worse
than lm, principally because in the theatre
actors are held in even higher regard. In fact,
theatre critics are often worse luvvies than
the actors themselves.
Which is why I am always fairly circumspect
when one of them tells me that so-and-so has
just given the performance of his life, or that
so-and-sos soliloquy/death scene/one-man
show is the best thing theyve ever seen.
Because it never is. Just last year a friend
told me that The Audience, Peter Morgans play
about the Queens weekly meetings with her
prime ministers, was, and I quote, The best
thing I have ever seen on the London stage.
Which it wasnt. Sure, it was good very good,
actually and it was funny and full of pathos
and Helen Mirrens steely-eyed portrayal was
a thing of great wonder.
But it wasnt the greatest thing Id ever seen
on a London stage. It certainly wasnt as good
as The History Boys, Pravda, The Book Of
Mormon, Another Country, Arcadia, One

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2013 British Society
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Editors Awards
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Dylan Jones O Editor Britains biggest-selling quality mens magazine
SEARCH
Comment Style Watches Entertainment Girls Magazine 25th Anniversary
SEARCH
SEARCH

Man, Two Guvnors or Richard Eyres 1982
revival of Guys And Dolls, say.
It also wasnt as good as Danny Boyles 2011
production of Nick Dears adaptation of Mary
Shelleys Frankenstein. When it opened, much
of the press surrounded the gimmick that
the two principals playing the monster
and its creator would swap roles each night,
perhaps encouraging repeat visits. Not only was
it an immediate hit, but it actually did encourage
people to see it twice. One such convert was my
agent Ed Victor, who was so enthralled he invited
me and my wife to go and see it with him (again).
Now, having read all the reviews, and having
heard so many people in the ofce talking about
how it was not just the best thing theyd seen in the
theatre that year (it opened in February!), but quite
possibly the best thing theyd seen this century
(which was barely a decade old!), I was cautious.
Having been bitten too many times resulting
in me walking out of a production at the Globe,
falling asleep in the front row of the Shaftesbury
Theatre, and disappearing into the night during
the intermissions of at least a dozen musicals
I wondered whether or not it was really necessary
to go. After all, its importance would surely recede
in time, when everyone would be banging on
about the latest best thing theyd ever seen.
But I thought better of my misgivings. Not least
because if I declined the invitation, I couldnt bear
the thought of Ed introducing me to people, in the
spirit of a Bateman cartoon, as the man who turned
down a ticket to see Frankenstein. Or, more
accurately, the man who turned down a ticket to
see Frankenstein starring Benedict Cumberbatch.
Because of its conceit, there were many people
who went to see the play just to see how the roles
would differ with different actors playing
them. And while on the night I went I met various
people who had previously seen Cumberbatch
playing Frankenstein himself, that evening I saw
him play the monster; and a Hanna-Barbera
fanfare, a gunshot roll of the drums! it really was
the best performance Id seen in ages. Perhaps not
as good as Mark Rylance in Jez Butterworths
Jerusalem, but certainly up there. Jonny Lee Miller
was playing the creator that night, and while others
said that his performance as the creature was
magnicent, I couldnt imagine anyone being better
than Cumberbatch. As far as I was concerned, it was
completely transformative, and though anyone
playing a monster would have had to nd a way to
inhabit them, Cumberbatchs interpretation was one
of the most inspired Id ever seen (and far, far away
from hoary old depictions of the creature, including
Robert De Niros in Kenneth Branaghs 1994 lm).
Cumberbatch really did look like the result of an
experiment with body parts and electricity.
Many others felt the same, as Cumberbatch
achieved the triple crown of London theatre that
year when he was awarded the Olivier Award,
Evening Standard Award and Critics Circle Theatre
Award for his performance.
Ed Victor still hasnt forgotten my initial
misgivings, though, and to this day introduces me
as: My client, the man who nearly turned down
the opportunity to see Benedict Cumberbatch in
Danny Boyles Frankenstein. The actor, meanwhile,
has gone from strength to strength, and you can
read about his extraordinary journey in Stuart
McGurks equally extraordinary feature on
page 174, in which Cumberbatch proves to be
as compelling an interviewee as he is an actor.
Enjoy the feature, enjoy the issue.
This month on GQ.co.uk... Previews of the biggest cultural events
of the next 12 months from Idris Elba discussing his role as Nelson
Mandela to the major-label debut of the next great New York rapper,
Joey Bada$$. Plus, James Ellroys most elaborate crime caper yet,
why American Psycho: The Musical is harder to get into than Dorsia,
and AA Gill explains how Hollywood has learnt to love an older actor.
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GO Music: Now o$ Spotif.!
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l 6*+nk a lot o popl
got uit complacnt about
mnswar ano assumo it
was all about suiting ano
booting - boring ons at that.
Put th shr braoth o
Lonoon mnswar talnt has
rally stunno vryon: th
innovation, xprimntation
ano bounoary-pushing, says
th /nooponoont's ashion
oitor, Ieander Fr, who
or this month's issu looks
atth rising stars o Lonoon
Collctions: Mn. So who is
hmost xcito about? Craig
Grn is at th vry start
ohis carr ano is alraoy
winning plauoits. lt's going
tob incroibly xciting to
s what h oos nxt.
l'v obsssivly smllo
vrything in sight vr
sinc l can rmmbr, says
Richard E Gran, who givs
GO th scono instalmnt o
his |ourny into th unamiliar
ragranc businss this month.
l cam up with th ioa or
aprum on holioay in th
Caribban - /nya Hinomarch,
hanobag suprmo, saw m
with my hao in a garonia
bush ano asko what l was
ooing. l consso that l hao
oramt o making a prum
all my li ano sh st m up
with ky popl. /vailabl in
/pril 2C4, Grant's ragranc
has top nots in lim,
mari|uana ano manoarin.
Prum, lik lov, is invisibl,
but onc snio, orvr
smittn, h says. /no that's
what's 'in th bottl' - an
xotic, sxy, nvloping ano
oibl combination that is
uttrly hypnotic.
On GO.co.uk, Contributing
Eoitor GiII mulls ovr
how Hollywooo is no longr
so obssso with youth.
l hop nobooy vr thought
Driving Miss Daisy woulo
hav bn improvo i it hao
bn 'Driving Ms Dynamit'.
Or i Dian Katon ano Jack
Nicholson in 3omothings
Gotta Givo hao bn rplaco
with /nn Hathaway ano
/shton Kutchr |ust acting
a bit olor. S, th thing
is, young popl ar prtty,
but olo ons ar intrsting.
Thy'r intrsting in a way
that th young can't manag
bcaus thy'r simply
not olo nough. lt's th
Julit conunorum.
Shakspar's Julit shoulo
b 3, but no 3-yar-olo
is capabl o playing hr.
Young nlm actors oo things;
olo ons think things.
Save .ourseIf from hours of
SIade b. chec!i$g out the witt.
retur$ of ChiIdish Gambi$o
(AKA Do$aId GIover) o$
Because The lnternet. PIus, hear the Iive LP
of Muses OI.mpic Stadium gig i$ Rome a$d
our (highI. subective) request Iist of what we
wa$t James Murph. (above) to pIa. whe$ his
Despacio sou$d s.stem comes to Lo$do$.
JANUARY 2014 G
ROD LIDDLE
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Dear Dr Rod,
The other evening, while watching
aprogramme about a comprehensive
school in Yorkshire, my girlfriends left
breast exploded and coated the carpet
and sofa with what appeared to be
semi-digested cheese-avour Doritos.
I assume that at some point quite soon
her right breast will follow suit. As I was
the one who paid for her enlargement
operation (and chose a somewhat
dubious establishment, Baps-U-Like of
Tooting), am I now liable to pay for the remedial work that is required? To be honest,
I was thinking of dumping her anyway.
Sterling, Streatham
RL: Well, this is a tricky and very au courant legal problem, Sterling, and Im
afraid things do not look too good for you. British law works by precedent and the
benchmark case seems to have been a young lady from Redcar who successfully
sued her boyfriend when the bum he had bought for her suddenly deated, without
warning, while she was attending to her toilet, and left her trapped in the lavatory
basin. The settlement in that case was well over 20,000, once you had factored in
anguish and trauma compensation, new buttocks and a new toilet bowl to replace
the one broken up by the remen. At the least I would get her another botch job
at Baps-U-Like, bin her and leave the country.
For to-the-point answers to lifes
whys and wherefores, share your
burning issues with GQs agony
uncle, Rod Liddle, at:
askdrrod@condenast.co.uk
Email us your
letters for Dr Rod
Dear Dr Rod,
My girlfriend claims she was touched up by
aLiberal Democrat functionary at a secret
meeting to decide whether or not Nick Clegg is
an idiot. She says he not Clegg, the man ran
his sweaty paw along the top of her leg while
whispering something about wind farms in her
ear. She says she feels sullied by this experience
and unclean and it has put her right of sex
which is a bit of a problem for me, frankly.
Howdo I rescue this situation?
Vincent, Totnes
RL: Pet Salon do a very good vanilla and
coconut spa shampoo which is designed for
dogs which have been rolling in the particularly
foul-smelling fox shit. You spray it over the
entire body and then massage it in with a sort
of glove, which you can also buy from any good
pet shop. Then leave it ten minutes and brush
it out hey presto, sweet-smelling pet. That
should deal with the physical aspect of her
ordeal, while the mental scars may take longer
to heal. Be supportive and understanding and
buy her membership of the Labour Party.
Dear Dr Rod,
The other advice page in GQ the proper one, I
mean, rather than this agglomeration of spite and
juvenile crudity often suggests people spice
up their love lives through the use of extremely
expensive sex toys, such as solid glass dildos
and cock-rings made of antelope skin and so
on. I wonder, do you think that these sorts of
contrivances are of value in a relationship and
doyou use anything of the same kind yourself?
Chris, Dublin
RL: As it happens, Chris, I am a collector of sex
toys of great antiquity. For example, I possess
a butt plug made of black Bakelite, slightly
chipped, and very large. It would certainly not t
up my sphincter. But no, I never use these sorts
of things. The only device I regularly employ
during sex is an After Eight mint dispensing
machine, which my parents bought with Green
Shield Stamps in 1973. This usefully icks a mint
forward while removing it from its characteristic
brown envelope. I often like to chew on these
delicacies as I approach the nal strokes of my
powerful thrusting.
Dr Rod
Dear Dr Rod,
In the summer I will be travelling to
Brazil to watch England compete in
the World Cup. I hope to nd a little
entertainment away from the stadia
too, and understand that the local
whores have been receiving English
lessons in anticipation of ourarrival.
Frankly, I would rather they did
not speak at all. But could you tell
me how the prostitutes of Rio de
Janeiro and So Paulo rank interms
of competence and comeliness?
Itmay be that I seek entertainment
of a diferent kind if they are of
lowquality.
Ethan, Cambridge
RL: Yes, certainly, Ethan. In the
United Nations Index of World
Whores (UNIWW), Brazils
heterosexual prostitutes rank 81st
out of the 187 countries covered,
with slightly below average marks
for cleanliness and value for money,
and slightly above average scores for
appearance. As ever, Denmark tops
the list for the country with the best
whores all round. The UK comes
98th but as the UNIWW points out,
there is scarcely a need to pay for
sex in Great Britain, as most of
the nonprofessional indigenous
females will put out for a bag of
chips, a lift home or a Polo mint.
Incidentally, while Brazils score
for heterosexual whores is at best
mediocre, it comes a remarkable
third in the world for transgender
prostitutes so the World Cup might
be a good opportunity for you to
stretch your wings a little.
29
G JANUARY 2014
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HUGO RIFKIND
The young get a taste of the weightless life... but soon
grow bloated with responsibility and possessions. Theres a
reason theyre called trappings, grumbles GQs assets man
travel
light
A
lthough actually, travelling is the
easy bit. Sometimes, you see, I
think of the day I got back from
India and went to see my sister
at the enormous accounting rm at which
she was a trainee. I owned a rucksack, yes,
but it was mainly lled with cheap soapstone
elephants. Really, my possessions were what
I wore. A pair of ip-ops and a pair of
woolly socks. (Worn together; Im not
proud.) A pair of blue Diesel jeans that had
been truly fashionable once, but were now
frayed and horrid and irrevocably stained
down the right lower leg with no kidding
the faeces of an incontinent Varanasi
holy cow. A blue thermal singlet, bought
in Thiruvananthapuram a month earlier
from a man with a attened hand. A hoodie,
zip-fronted, origins unknown. And, aside
from the jewellery and please, dont make
me talk about the jewellery that was that.
We sat there, sister and I, in a caf around
the corner from her ofce, because they
hadnt been prepared to let me into the
ofce. All around us, people had suits
and ties and laptop bags, and shirts which
testied to the ownership of irons. I sat
there, probably chuntering on about temples
and beaches, but all I could think, inside,
was how gloriously weightless my life was
compared to theirs. And then I left, and went
to Gap, and bought myself some clothes to
get through the week. And then stopped
concentrating for a decade and a half, and
woke up with a three-bedroom house
bursting at the seams.
What the hell is all this shit? Where did
it come from? I own three toasters, people.
Three. At least, I think I do. Two of them are
in the attic and I havent seen them for three
years because so much other stuff is in the
way. I own fruit bowls and televisions and
iPods and iPads and chairs and dustbins and
forks and plug banks and rugs and hammers
and slippers and cigarette lighters and
baskets full of key rings and cables and
blank CDs and oh my God, the endless,
endless crap. I own, if were going to be
strictly literal here, a bath. I do. Its my
bath. If I wanted to turn up at my sisters
accounting rm today, carrying everything
I own, then I would be no messing here
a man carrying a bath. And I dont think
theyd let me in now, either.
In Chuck Palahniuks manhood bible
Fight Club, Tyler Durden is damning about
possessions. The things you own, he
says, end up owning you. His point is that
acquiring nice stuff becomes a substitute for
a life; the thing you do instead. Thats not
my experience. Very few of my possessions
do I treasure. The odd gadget or jacket, yes.
My wedding ring. My Fender Stratocaster,
bought off an old friend who needed the
cash, even though its under the babys cot
and I havent taken it out in a year. Most of it,
though, is just stuff that has got stuck to me,
as I have tumbled through my life. You know
those matted dangleberries you see hanging
from a sheeps arse? Thats my second Argos
DVD player, that is. My mug tree. My ostrich
egg. My third and fourth guitars.
Wives dont help. Has any man alive,
anywhere, ever bought a cushion? Or, indeed,
ever actually seen one enter his house? Nor
kids, and I sometimes feel my house has
Lego, in the way that other houses have
eas or mice. In the end, though, its my
problem. Its the plug banks and battery
chargers and little bowls full of copper
coins that bear me down. Its the ratchet
screwdrivers and the orphaned backs of
forgotten remote controls. Some day, I think,
this house will ll up entirely, and then
crumble, like a Rachel Whiteread art project.
In India, especially in the far north, youll
often see a sadhu. Theyre holy men, who
renounce all possessions and ties. Who
simply walk out of the door one day and
never go back, and vow to spend the rest
of their days getting by with only an orange
blanket and a hash pipe. I bet it never works
out like that, though. I bet they all wake
up ten years down the line, even if theyre
standing on the tops of poles half way up the
Himalayas, and realise theyve done it again.
Armfuls of plastic bags. Robes stuffed with
pizza-delivery leaets. Balancing there, with
snow crusted into their dreadlocked beards.
Thinking, Woah. I own egg cups.
O Hugo Rifkind is a writer for the Times.
Stuf and nonsense: Cut clutter to stay sane, says Rifkind
HowNot to...
30
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Edited by
Charlie Burton
Film Chris Pine breaks Jack Ryans cover
Trend The return of the gilet
Television The women who hunted down Osama bin Laden
Theatre How the West End musical got macho
THIS MONTH:
Let there be Gnesis Rodrguez
JANUARY 2014 G37
G JANUARY 2014
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GEAR BULLETIN! Dont deny it: skiing is a fashion competition. This winter,
the best-looking jacket on the slopes is the Sotchi by Eider and, its got the
performance to match. Thinsulated, highly stretchable, hard-wearing at only
1.24kg why would you opt for anything else? 399.99. ellis-brigham.com
Musicals
man up
As American Psycho
and Breaking Bad
head to the theatre,
theres no business
like bro business
Lets face it, a lot of things go
into making big-ticket musicals,
but testosterone hasnt always
been one of them. So why are
they suddenly mainlining the
stuff? Just look at American
Psycho: The Musical, opening
this month, in which an angry
Matt Smith will sing and slay his
way through a stage adaptation
of Bret Easton Ellis cult novel.
And fringe as it may sound,
there is nothing remotely am
about the dram. It has secured
Londons Almeida Theatre, the
singer and composer Duncan
Sheik has composed the
electronic score (This Is Not
An Exit and You Are What
You Wear being the
standout pieces), Roberto
Aguirre-Sacasa, who wrote
the Carrie reboot,
is behind the script,
and Olivier-winner
Rupert Goold is
directing. Smith
has not been
well-served by
his role as the
eleventh Doctor,
but his stage roles
better demonstrate
his fretless slides between light
and dark. And then theres the
obvious he looks precisely like
a caricature of Christian Bale.
For producers, backers
and promoters, the appeal of
a crossover element (adapting
a cult book, lm or TV series)
is clear. Reworking a critical
and commercial hit is a safer
bet than debuting fresh
material, especially in an
economic downturn.
American Psycho
possesses a cult
following, and
that translates
into an audience
already comparing
business-card
typefaces in
the foyer.
Of course, the
man musical set
out its stall last February, when
The Book Of Mormon, by South
Park iconoclasts Matt Stone and
Trey Parker, became the most
galvanising cultural product of
the season. A show with serious
musicianship that deftly deals
with Aids, religious delusion
and why the hell not the
meaning of life. The opening
African number, a tribute to The
Lion Kings Hakuna Matata,
winds up with a dozen Ugandans
pointing their middle ngers to
heaven, singing, F*** you,
God. Tim Rice, it aint.
With edge comes critical
interest, a hashtag and
invariably a trend. David Byrnes
Here Lies Love, a satirical musical
about the rise and fall of Imelda
Marcos is chalked to open in
London in 2014, Heathers: The
Musical based on the original
subversive teen comedy is
likely to be imported from LA,
Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark
is said to be heading in the
same direction, and a musical
adaptation of Breaking Bad is
already in the pipeline, opening
in New York next year.
Words such as highbrow and
lowbrow are outdated in this
new landscape. Its not that long
ago that TV was casually
dismissed as ratings-chasing
guff, whereas cinema was art.
The tables at the awards
ceremonies have indeed turned.
Robert De Niro, say, is taking
over James Gandolnis role in
the upcoming HBO mini-series
Criminal Justice when he does
a musical, which is now not
unimaginable, well be there.
And, thankfully, the coach
parties wont. AH
An inside eye on Beatlemania
Scrapbook-style music biographies all seem to lack something vital: the presence of the artist themselves. In Ringo
Starrs Photograph, however, he leans in. The words accompanying the 240-plus pictures shot by the former Beatle read
as if Starr is speaking them onto the volumes pages as he leafs on through (Thats a very nice portrait of John Lennon,
looking rather spify). And the reproduced gummed-in ephemera bus tickets, postcards feel like the genuine grist
of his life; indeed, each of the numbered volumes is signed by the man himself. So from the early days in Liverpool
(above) to the US and beyond, the reader is right there by the drum stand. Out now (Genesis, 345) CB
Seeing Starrs:
Ringo Starr
cutsa young
gure in
photo-booth
shots from
hisyouth in
Liverpool
Doctor death:
Matt Smith will
sing the role of
Patrick Bateman
38
G JANUARY 2014
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Blazer by Browns, 620.
brownsfashion.com. Gilet, 250.
Jumper, 225. Both by Hackett.
hackett.com. Shirt byH&M, 14.99.
hm.com. ScarfbyBudd, 75.
buddshirts.co.uk
Blazer by Richard
Nicoll, 740.
At Matches.
matchesfashion.com.
Gilet by Lou Dalton,
390. At Liberty.
liberty.co.uk. Rollneck
by Marks & Spencer,
55. marksandspencer.
com. Jeans by Replay,
90. At Asos. asos.
com. Boots, 495 by
Bally.bally.com
Jacket, 430.
Gilet, 345. Shirt,
105. Boots, 215.
All by Polo Ralph
Lauren. ralph
lauren.co.uk.
Jeans by Jean
Machine, 155. At
Matches. matches
fashion.com
Blazer, 350. Gilet, 175.
Shirt, 169. All by Gant.
At John Lewis. johnlewis.co.uk
Gilets,
reimagined
Sure, call it a comeback:
the gilet is indeed
making a return. Only,
this winter, designers
are learning from
well-dressed Italians
and creating super-ne
versions that work best
layered under jackets.
Its a hip way to add
style points to a casual
get-up, or dress for the
ofce without looking
like a suit. CB
Jacket by Wrangler, 70. At Asos.
asos.com. Gilet by River Island, 60.
riverisland.com. Rollneck by Alan
Paine, 203. alanpaine.co.uk
Style tip!
The look works perfectly well
jumper-free, but as the chill
ratchets up dont be afraid to
double down on the layers.
Want to keep things Euro?
Opt for a polo neck.
For
weekends
For
weekdays
SCIENCE BULLETIN! Right: The optimum time to drink your
morning coffee. Researchers have revealed that if you consume cafeine
before then, you are already naturally alert so will eventually develop a
tolerance. So brew later, and you wont become the extra shot guy.
40
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Give your living room a new dimension
This bookcase is impossible, or at least it ought to be. Rocky, by the Parisian-born designer
Charles Kalpakian for French brand La Chance, is an optical illusion made steel. Using fake
shadows and false perspective, it creates Escher-esque paradoxes that shift and change
according to your point of view. La Chance, which launched in 2012, takes its ethos from the
ArtDeco movement, combining machine-age materials and traditional craft (in this case,
trompe loeil) into geometric forms that are all about the aesthetics. After all, good looks
arekeyto the longevity of any cohabiting arrangement. LD 3,100. At A+R. aplusrstore.com
Fresh perspective:
The optical
illusionscreated by
CharlesKalpakians
bookcase can
enliven the most
characterless of
household objects
BOT
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Time HUMAN
TECH BULLETIN! Right: How virtual
assistants, such as Microsofts upcoming
Cortana (a rival to Apples Siri), will make
ofces more efcient but much less sexy.
43
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G JANUARY 2014
RACHEL REEVES
Age: 34
Who? Shadow work and
pensionssecretary.
Trump card: Shes an early
Milibandian (Ed, of course...).
Most likely to: Invite comparisons
with Lady T.
ESTHER MCVEY
Age: 46
Who? Minister of state for employment.
Trump card: Being a Northern woman
is never a hindrance when the PMs an
Old Etonian.
Most likely to: Wind the media
around her little nger shes
a former GMTV presenter.
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Wheel of fortune
At last! Some fresh faces in the
corridors of power. The recent
front-bench reshufes have favoured
MPs from the 2010 intake (to blood
new talent in time for the 2015
general election) but what does
the future hold for the six most
promising? Nothing
personal, Lib Dems...
Youll never listen to that:
Britney Jean by
Britney Spears.
So listen to this:
Undisputed Truth by
Mike Tyson. Equally
autobiographical, even
more frightening.
Out now. audible.co.uk
How to blow
of a bad
month in music
Decembers major
releases have no place
on a mans iPod. Leave
them to your girlfriend
and try a new
audiobook instead.
Wrapped In Red by
Kelly Clarkson.
So listen to this:
The October List by Jeffery
Deaver. Higher art? No. But
certainly less emasculating.
Out on 26 December. whole
storyaudiobooks.co.uk
Christmas, With Love
by Leona Lewis.
So listen to this:
The Escape by Adam
Thirlwell. Bawdy, writerly:
essentially, everything that
Lewis isnt. Out on 17
December. audible.co.uk
The Art Of Letting Go by
Mariah Carey.
So listen to this: One
Hundred Years Of Solitude
by Gabriel Garca Mrquez.
Because solitude may be
preferable. Out on 15
December. audible.co.uk
TRAVEL BULLETIN! Right: The number of feet
into the stratosphere that World View Enterprises
will balloon tourists to see the earth from the
edge of space in 2016. worldviewexperience.com
= 3,000
44
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Square
K
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High Street
Kensington
G JANUARY 2014
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R
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Soul Cycle
21 a session
Try if: Spinning
hasalways seemed
tempting but
itsjust too girly.
New Yorks biggest
tness craze. Indoor
cycling incorporating
hand weights, low
lighting and big beats.
The burn: 500-700 cals
over 45 minutes.
Power move: The
tapback. Standing
up, draw your hips
back towards the
seatandpedal fast
wreaks havocon abs.
Key kit: Raphas
ClassicBib Shorts
(150, rapha.cc). No
saddle sores for you.
It works for:
Bradley Cooper. LS
Opening in the UK in
2014. soul-cycle.com
Embrace a tness trend that isnt preposterous
Most it work-outs are fads (sauna suits, anyone?), but this
new cadre really will kick your winter chub to the curb
Frame Fitness
20 a session
Try if: Looking like
Tom Hardy in Warrior
sounds appealing.
A strength-and-
conditioning class
using purpose-
built frames.
The burn: 500-600
calsover 40 minutes.
Power move: A
muscle-up. Pull
yourself up until your
chin touches the top of
the frame, then push
yourself above the bar
until your arms are
locked beneath you.
Key kit: Liquid Chalk
by Myprotein (6.99.
myprotein.com) to
improve grip.
It works for: NZ rugby
star Sonny Bill Williams.
42-49 St Martins Lane,
WC2. gymbox.com
Barrys Bootcamp
20 a session
Try if: You want a
work-out with the
vibe of a night out.
High-intensity circuits
with live DJs,
protein-shake shots
and lots of hard (like,
really hard) work.
The burn: 1,000 cals
over one hour.
Power move: The
full man-maker.
A push-up, single-arm
back row, plank,
burpee, bicep curl
and shoulder press
all in one go.
Key kit: Barrys
own-brand clothing.
Its a cult thing.
It works for: The
US Navy Seals.
16 Upper Woburn
Place, WC1.
barrysbootcamp.com
Whipped!
180 a month, for
a years membership
Try if: Your arms dont
fill out your sleeves.
A limb-conditioning
class using heavy,
weighted ropes.
over 45 minutes.
Power move: The
strength ropes.
Working in pairs, you
hold a rope weighted
in the middle and move
your arms to create
ripples along its length.
Key kit: Nike Alpha
Structure Lifting
Gloves (25. store.
nike.com) to protect
your palms.
It works for: Barack
Obama and Will Smith,
apparently.
99 Kensington High St,
W8. equinox.com
Speedex
45 a session
Try if: Youre
a City slacker.
A 45-minute circuit
using dedicated
machines that create
resistance based on
what you put in.
over 45 minutes.
Power move: The
clean and press.
From a semi-squat
position, lift the bars
of the machine above
your head. And repeat.
And repeat...
Key kit: Flash trainers.
Go for Newtons
Gravity model (135.
newtonrunning.co.uk).
It works for: The
Newcastle Falcons
rugby union squad.
33-36 Lombard Street,
EC3. speedex.com
Red heat:
A blur of
activity in the
nightclub-like
setting of
Barrys
Bootcamp
Controversial new
home-ofce minister
Norman Baker once
accused the security
services of covering up
the death of Dr David
Kelly. He is still banking
royalties from his book
on the subject, but
claims he has moved
on to other things. It
has recently shot up the
Amazon charts. Will he
refuse the money?
Heres the latest
questionable practice
to gain traction in
Westminster:
Dress-down Friday
has turned into a
red-trouser fest, a
Downing Street source
condes. Its not just
Tories; even those
oh-so-progressive
LibDems are jumping
on the Sloaney
bandwagon.
By Harry Cole
The
Insider
After a dodgy 2012,
George Osbornes
reputation is growing
quicker than the
economy and the newly
coifured chancellor
reckons he is back in the
running as Daves heir
apparent. Hes certainly
played the long game:
installing core allies and
supporters right across
government. When will
he call in the favours?
Bad-boy MP Eric Joyce
resigned from the
Labour Party after
brawling in a Commons
bar and head-butting
a Tory MP. So when
he later entered his
Irish wheaten terrier,
Brodie, into the
Westminster Dog Of
The Year show, guess
whose pet was itching
for a scrap with its
canine competitors?
C
o
m
in
g

s
o
o
n
!
TELEVISION BULLETIN! Right: The rating on yelp.com of Breaking
Bads ctional Los Pollos Hermanos chicken restaurant (which has more
than 140 reviews). Our favourite? The atmosphere is weird at times. People
come in and not order food. Kind of creepy. But the chicken is so good...
46
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Desert fox:
2014 will be a big year
for Gnesis Rodrguez,
with two more lms
tofollow the release
ofHours this winter
And God created woman
Shooting starlet Gnesis Rodrguez gives GQ chapter and verse
In a city where doublespeak is the lingua franca, LA woman
Gnesis Rodrguez is refreshingly candid. I dont really care if
people think Im good-looking or not; it doesnt dene me as a
person, says the 26-year-old actress. Id rather just be the girl
who likes to eat a lot of food. Such forthrightness sometimes gets
her into agua caliente. Im an open book and, well, people can
get offended by that... Equally, that self-assurance is why 2014 is
very likely to be her year.
The daughter of a Cuban model and a Venezuelan lounge singer
known as El Puma, Rodrguez La Pumita was born in Miami
and earned her stripes on Spanish-language soap operas, before
coming to the worlds attention in a completely gratuitous
underwear scene in 2012s Man On A Ledge. Roles in Will Ferrells
Casa De Mi Padre and Arnies The Last Stand swiftly followed. Next
up is Hours think The Impossible meets Crank in which Paul
Walker struggles to keep his newborn baby daughter alive in a
deserted hospital devastated by Hurricane Katrina.
Im the wife, Rodrguez explains. I die in the rst couple of
minutes. So why did she ght so hard for the role? Its such an
intense movie. Every time Paul thinks about me, its happy
thoughts, beautiful thoughts, that really keep him going... We
cant say the sensation in entirely unfamiliar.
Although shes used to being the kick-asser, not the kick-assee,
Rodrguez will then play a pregnant mother in peril in the hitman
thriller Run All Night, co-starring Liam Neeson and Ed Harris.
I posted a picture on Twitter of my fake pregnant belly and
people were losing their minds, bitching me out, she says. I was
like, Hold on a second guys!, but they were just having a shit-t,
their worlds were crushed!
Quite what theyll make of her forthcoming Tusk, a Kevin Smith
horror in which Justin Long is forced to dress up as a walrus, is
anyones guess. This is the most crazy, messed-up excuse me,
f***ed up movie I could be in, says Rodrguez with glee. Frankly,
we wouldnt expect anything less. MG
Ron Burgundy, who
returns in Anchorman 2:
The Legend Continues,
on 20 December.
Owners of
leather-bound
books
Owners of rich
mahogany
furniture
F
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B
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!

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STYLE BULLETIN! How to trend-up a traditional pair of
strides? Just head to Bottega Veneta or Topman and pick
up a skinny leather belt. It will not only streamline your look,
but also make your go-to trousers seem new all over again.
Live from the GQ
comedy cellar
GQs Comedy Editor James Mullinger presents
a haul of gags for whenever theres a lull in the
conversation. On the mic this month...
Oxygen and
Magnesium have
got together. OMg.
It was an arranged marriage, put
together by drugs and alcohol.
The only thing you have to focus
on in your twenties is not
getting a bad tattoo. You dont
want to be 40 going, No dude,
it was different back then.
Everyone loved SpongeBob
everyone.
Tom Papa
Magicians disappear all the
time, but as soon as a regular
person does it, everyones all
scared. Toms gone! Is he
a magician? No. Then we
need to print up some yers.
Mitch Hedberg
I used to think I was
alittle unstable. And
then I met every girl
Ive ever dated.
Mike Birbiglia
Scientists
announced today
that they have
discovered a cure for
apathy. However,
they claim no one
has shown the
slightest interest in it.
George Carlin
I like the Ten Commandments but I have a problem with the
ninth. It should be: Thou shalt not covet they neighbours ox,
except in Scrabble. David ODoherty
Q: How many Tories does it
take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Other people do that
sort of thing.
When my father
refused to marry
my mother or give
her another child,
she left, claiming
she did not wish to put all of
her eggs into one bastard.
The dichotomy of your
coalition government is how
I feel about my own body
often my brain will come up
with a liberal idea, only
to be vetoed by a penis. At
least I know my penis will
never withdraw from Europe.
Marcel Lucont
The real Homeland
A new television doc reveals the truth behind the
CIAs search for the worlds most wanted man
225 AD
Chinese chancellor
Zhuge Liang
invents mantou
steamed buns to
ofer the gods
when a river
blocks his armys
passage during a
military campaign.
Steamed pork 'hirata' buns are the restaurant craze of the moment. But where exactly did they come from?
2004
David Chang opens
his rst Momofuku
restaurant in New
York and serves
up his twist on
the Taiwanese
hamburger. It
proves a smash;
copycats follow.
2010
London lls up
with gourmet food
trucks. Self-taught
chef Lisa Meyer
takes inspiration
from her brothers
tales of eating out in
New York and starts
one called Yum Bun.
2008
The Japanese
ramen restaurant
Ippudo opens in
NYC, and calls its
pork buns hirata
after the chains
global headchef
MasashiHirata. The
name catches on.
Mid 1900s
Mass emigration
from China takes
the buns to
Taiwan, where
they become a
street food known
as gua bao, lled
with pork, nuts,
pickles and herbs.
2013
Other openings
such as Flesh
And Buns, Bao,
and this months
Kurobuta near
Londons Marble
Arch prompt the
pork bun to eat up
the country. CB
Think youve heard all there is
to hear about the search for
Osama bin Laden? So did we.
Then we saw Manhunt, an Emmy
Award-winning documentary
hitting UK screens this month,
which, through unprecedented
access, follows the twists and
turns inside the CIA as it edged
closer to killing Crankshaft. We
pinned down the lms director,
Greg Barker, for a debrieng
What, for you, is Manhunts
biggest revelation? Finding out
that there was a sisterhood in the
CIA who tracked Bin Laden from
1993 all the way through. This
same team of women identied
the threat, warned people about
it, were blamed for 9/11, but still
stuck around to get the guy.
You were interviewing spies
onthe record how did you
convince them to talk? It takes
a long time: you cant just say,
Lets do an interview. First you
have to work your way up the
food chain. But I think there
was a collective decision among
the women to get this story
out there. Because most people
even people who had been
in the White House situation
meetings had no idea about
the sisterhood.
Who were some of the most
important people you were
unable to get in front of
thecamera? Bin Ladens
three wives, who were in the
compound. But they ended up
in Saudi Arabia and have agreed
with the Saudi government
not to speak to anybody. Theyve
been taken in by the larger Bin
Laden family. Id like to ask them:
Did he believe he was still in
charge of al-Qaeda? And why
didnt he try to escape on the
night of the raid? But theyre
stuck in Saudi forever now. CB
Out on 10 December, Sky
Atlantic HD
50
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The new Windows has everything Im used to, like my Desktop and
the Start Button, but now I can do new stuff, like snap apps side by
side. And all in a touch screen laptop that turns into a tablet.
HP Split x2
Honestly
:LQGRZVFRP
G JANUARY 2014
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C
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B
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t
o
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;

H
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r
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C
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;

L
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D
o
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v
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M
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G
l
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b
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;

A
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H
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J
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M
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3
3
9
,
1
6
9
Jumping Jack:
After Star Trek,
Chris Pines role
as CIA agent Jack
Ryan brings him
down to earth
Like James Bond, the CIA
analyst Jack Ryan has been
played by many actors Alec
Baldwin, Harrison Ford, Ben
Afeck. Unlike James Bond,
Tom Clancys hero remains
strangely unknown to those
who havent read the books.
So ahead of Chris Pines turn
as the spy in Jack Ryan: Shadow
Recruit, we asked the star to
bring us up to speed.
No, this is not another Bourne
movie. Bourne wakes up one
day, doesnt know that he can
speak 19 languages and four
different sub-languages of
Chinese and that he can also
do many kinds of martial arts.
But Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
is about a normal guy who
really, if he hadnt fallen into
the spy game, wouldve been
a professor. Hes not into great
suits; hes like the Mens
Wearhouse kind of guy. Hes
a guy that would order scotch
neat and not drink too much
because he doesnt like
to be out of control.
Ryan does have his vices,
though or at least he did.
In the script, he was going to
be in a great amount of back pain
for a lot of the lm, but we ended
up nixing that because it clouded
everything. So there was a
version of the movie where,
20 minutes in, he would have
been addicted to painkillers
it became a part of his life that
he wasnt really dealing with.
Its political! Its 2013, not
25 years ago, so I was concerned
not to make a lm that was
about America is best, damn
the Russians. Look at what
went on in our country with the
recent shutdown everybody
wants to blame another side
and I think, for the most part,
that theyre all just a bunch or
morons and theyre all probably
screwing over someone.
Boning up on the previous
Jack Ryan movies? Dont
bother with all of them...
I love The Hunt For Red
October, Alec is sharp and hes
focused and he will not take no
[for an answer]. And Harrisons
lms [Patriot Games and Clear
And Present Danger] are a bit
more reluctant and back-footed,
and I love that. With [Ben
Afecks] The Sum Of All Fears,
I think they were maybe trying
to do a version of what we did,
but obviously based on a book.
And then, when it gets into the
nuclear catastrophe, Im not a
big... that never interests me
when it expands that large.
Its the role Alec Baldwin
wished he had held on to.
Alec and I were doing
voiceovers for an animated
lm, and sometimes wed meet
as one of us was reading or
coming in. I saw him one time
and I was like a kid, I said, Hey,
Im playing Jack Ryan, do you
have any advice? He just
grabbed me by the shoulder
and said, Do it. Do it, and dont
let go. Because he obviously,
famously, left to do A Streetcar
Named Desire [on Broadway].
Pine originally wanted the new
lm to have a Le Carr vibe.
I would have been happy
making Marathon Man or
The French Connection. I would
have done a really slow, long,
beautiful, action-free lm and
been very, very happy. Thats
my personal leaning, but it is
2013 and youd get a geriatric
audience if you didnt have some
kind of ght stuff in there. So
between my reticence about
making it too much like Bourne
or Bond, and the inclinations
of the studio to make it just that,
I do hope we found some place
in the middle. CB
Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
is out on 31 January.
Chris Pines Jack Ryan primer
A brieng on the action hero of the moment,
from a man who should know
POLITICS
BULLETIN!
Above: The average
number of times
the Westminster
village checks
Twitter every
month. That
eleven per cent
pay rise MPs
are demanding
isclearly
justied,then
52
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and with SkyDrive I can access P\VWXIIHYHU\ZKHUH,JR
Surface 2
Internet connection required. Microsoft Account required for SkyDrive, terms apply.
6XUIDFHFRPHVZLWK2IFH+RPHDQG6WXGHQW57
Honestly
Windows.com
I can work where I want.
JANUARY 2014 G
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a
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c
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GQ heads across the Atlantic to toast literary talent
From the hip
New Yorks Carlyle hotel played host
toalaunch of PiersMorgans latesttell-all
diary, Shooting Straight: Guns, Gays, God,
And George Clooney
1
Thierry Henry
Julie
Zann and
Robert
ONeill
Danny Bennett and
Hadley Spanier
Alicia Rountree,
Piers Morgan,
Angela Martini
and Kenza Fourati
Diane
Sawyer
Ken
Jautz
Tony
Bennett
Charlie
Rose
Callie Shumaker,
Jennifer Cooke,
Ernesto Floro
and Jamie Beck
Melania and
Donald Trump,
Eliot Spitzer and
Dr Mehmet z
55
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The rebels cause
GQ and Student Writing Award
winner Maia Jenkins joined the
Norman Mailer Center for its benefit
gala at New Yorks Public Library
2
Jonathan Heaf
and Maia Jenkins John Waters Olivia Cole
Gay
Talese
Robert Loomis and
Maya Angelou
Calvin and
Steven Klein
Guests at
theNew York
PublicLibrary
Marjorie Liu, Junot Daz,
SamuelRDelany, Dick
CavettandMartha Rogers
Coco Rocha
Taki Theodoracopulos
56
Edited by Paul Henderson
Life beyond the limit
Race design and unadulterated speed make the McLaren 12C GT3
asupercar for the next generation of playboys, says Jason Barlow
Body beautiful:
Air scoops are now
sculpted into the
bonnet to drive
cooling air past the
3.8-litre V8 engine
andthe aero package
smooths out the ride
JANUARY 2014 G
architecture overhauled. And the
cars aerodynamics package has been
optimised to give it a more balanced
feel overall and to moderate its
appetite for tyres. McLaren admits
that there were a few issues with the
12C GT3 as the programme ramped
up, but the results are really starting
to come now.
Car designers love to ponticate
about form following function, but the
truth is that even high-performance
road cars are compromised by the
various conicting jobs they have to
do. Not so a racing car. These things
are almost despotic in their intention.
This is all about going as fast as
possible, and repeatability. Ive
raced a fair few myself over the
years, and experienced three different
generations of Formula One car and
a DTM Audi. Drive any of them like
you have sides of ham for hands and
ippers on your feet, and youll be
picking bits of gravel out of your hair
in a heartbeat.
The 12C GT3, as commercial director
of McLaren GT Daryl Cozens says, is
designed to be accessible to the
M
otor racings pioneers were
nearly all gentlemen
playboys, royalty or tycoons
with the necessary time and funds
to lavish on a ruinously expensive
passion. There were the Bentley Boys,
led by diamond heir Woolf Barnato
and Sir Henry Birkin, who drove
their enormous Blower Bentleys from
London to Le Mans, and won the
race four times in a row from 1927
onwards. Even as motor racing became
more professional, Enzo Ferrari still
bankrolled his works Formula One
effort by selling cars to wealthy
amateur racers throughout the Fifties
and Sixties.
Some went further. The Marzotto
brothers, for example, commissioned
their own car the Ferrari 166-based
Uovo from a Paduan coachbuilder,
and almost won the 1951 Mille Miglia
with it. Famously, they wore suits
rather than racing overalls. The
Venetian magnate Count Volpi di
Misurata, whose father founded the
Venice Film Festival, later had his
Scuderia Serenissima race team turn
a perfectly good Ferrari 250 GT SWB
into a bread van, in pursuit of some
aerodynamic advantage.
Customer racing is less dapper
these days, but a good deal more
tailored. All the big guns want a slice.
Ferraris Corse Clienti programme has
been around for 20 years now, and
Porsches Supercup has outgrown
its original remit so much its now a
supporting draw on the F1 calendar.
Mercedes-Benz AMG and Audi will
also sell you brutal-looking race
versions of their SLS and R8 road cars.
McLarens MP4-12C race programme
has reached full throttle in just two
years, an impressive feat irrespective
of the companys pedigree. Previously
limited to Europe, 12C GT3s are now
racing in Malaysia, Taiwan, Abu Dhabi
and Azerbaijan (on the streets of
Baku, no less). To date, 40 cars have
been delivered to customers, including
some bloke called Sbastien Loeb,
the virtuoso nine-times World Rally
champion, who almost landed a drive
with the Toro Rosso F1 team in 2010,
and now has a sideline as a 12C GT3
driver and team owner. Not one for
just kicking back, then.
The 2013-spec 12C GT3 has had
some modications. The bonnet has
new scoops and ducting to expel heat
more efciently and improve cooling.
The ECU (engine control unit) has
been revised and the electrical
CARS
Need to
know
McLaren
MP4-12CGT3
The GT3 made its
world debut at the
2011 Goodwood
Festival of Speed,
with Jenson Button
giving the car its
rst run. (He didnt
spin of unlike
some drivers.)
Engine
Race prepared
3.8-litre V8
twinturbo
Price
325,000
Contact
mclaren.com
59
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CARS
JANUARY 2014 G
There is a clutch pedal, but
thats only used for getting away.
Fortunately, I manage to get the right
blend of bite and revs, and bumble
onto the circuit without stalling.
Rob Bell, McLaren GT3 racer and
development driver, had previously
told me whats needed to make this
thing work: massive braking inputs.
It will feel strange at rst, and some
guys take half a season to really get
to grips with it. But youve got to use
all of the braking potential to get the
weight shifted onto the nose, and
really work the car into the corner.
No kidding. Ironically, braking is
what all the really fast guys do best
of all, managing speed into and out of
corners. Youve also got to trust
the cars aero package to
deliver grip where every
bre of your being is
telling you there wont
be as much as you
think, and get some
heat into the tyres.
This is the slightly
anomalous thing about
racing cars: the faster you
go, the better they feel,
enabling you to go even faster.
Its the most exhilarating physics
lesson youll ever have.
Its also a massive eye-opener.
Wringing the best out of a car like
the McLaren 12C GT3 over a few
laps is not easy. It takes intelligence,
commitment, feel and balls. Now
just imagine racing the damn thing
against 30 other cars. Gentlemen,
start your engines...
Ferrari 458 Italia GT3
The most famous name
inmotor racing has
established its Corse Clienti
customer racing division
across multiple fronts, from
selling ex-Schumacher F1
cars for private track days,
to individual race teams
who y the prancing-horse
ag in countless race series
around the world. A very
potent revenue stream.
Porsche 911 GT3
The 911 is the most
successful racing car in the
world. The GT3 Cup is the
latest Porsche customer
racing package, based on
the road-legal GT3, though
with a wider rear wing.
Produces unbelievably
close racing.
Lamborghini Gallardo GT3
Lambos prole in customer
race series, such as the
Blancpain Endurance Series,
has grown steadily in the
past decade. Partnering
with Reiter Engineering,
thelatest Gallardo GT3 FL2
costs around 300,000, and
competes in the Blancpain,
the Asian Le Mans Series
and the Italian Gran Turismo
Championship. JB
RACE SERI ES FOR GENTLEMEN RACERS WITH MONEY TO BURN. . .

latest generation of gentleman
drivers. This is fair enough. But its
still a very serious racing car, and
thanks to its substantial aero package
and huge rubber, the 12C GT3s
operating window is simultaneously
miles beyond anything an ordinary
mortal would normally experience,
and much, much narrower.
Its also unexpectedly comfortable,
although as the drivers will spend
hours at the wheel, often in
humid conditions,
contesting gruelling
endurance races, it
ought to be. The wheel
is similar in shape and
function to an F1 item,
and though it doesnt
feature the overload of
buttons and dials those
guys have to deal with, its still
busy enough. Unlike F1, GT3
competition cars are allowed traction
control; this is governed by a dial
on the wheel thats adjustable one
through ten according to the circuit,
weather and the drivers cojones.
Were on a four today, which allows
a reasonable amount of slip. Theres
also a main digital display, monitoring
the cars vital systems and showing a
lap delta. Theres nowhere to hide.
A bank of touch-sensitive push
buttons sits in a binnacle to the right,
including an ignition one, while the
gearshift paddles are surprisingly
small. The box itself is six-speed rather
than the road-car 12Cs seven-speed,
its ratios altered accordingly.
Competition
Silverstone has Christmas
covered this year, with
incredible ofers on its driving
experiences. Loved ones can
experience driving in the
wheeltracks of their F1
heroes,tackling Silverstones
4X4 of-road course, or
standing on the top step
ofthelegendary podium.
Silverstones Thrill (79)
andExperience (149) Super
Choice Anytime vouchers
enable recipients to choose
from eight of the most iconic
supercars on the planet,
including the Ferrari 360
Modena F1, Aston Martin
V8 Vantage and Lotus Evora,
andthen drive them on track
at the world-famous home
of British motor racing. For
an upgrade of just 20,
vouchers can be combined
with a variety of additional
extras, ranging from Friday
tickets to the 2014 F1 or
MotoGP British Grand Prix
toaphoto CD of the driving
experience, or limited-edition
Silverstone watch.
We have teamed up with
Silverstone to ofer you the
Win! A Silverstone driving experience, plus tickets to
the F1 or MotoGP British Grand Prix
* For further information on the full range of Silverstones Christmas gifts this season, including
product-specic terms and conditions, visit silverstone.co.uk or call 0844 372 8270.
chance to win a Silverstone
Experience Super Choice
Bundle, worth 169*. The
winner will take to the track in
a car of their choice, plus win
either one ticket to the Friday
of the 2014 Formula One
British Grand Prix or two
tickets to the Friday of the
2014 MotoGP British Grand
Prix at Silverstone.
To be in with a chance
ofwinning this fantastic
prize,simply answer the
following question:
Which driver won the 2013
Formula One British Grand Prix
atSilverstone?
Nico Rosberg
Sebastian Vettel
Lewis Hamilton
Send your answer, name,
address and contact details to:
GQ Cars/Silverstone Comp,
Vogue House, Hanover Square,
London W1S 1JU, or email
GQCars@condenast.co.uk
The closing date is 31 December 2013.
Terms and conditions This competition is open to UK and Channel Islands and Isle of Man residents aged 18 or over, excluding
employees of GQ and their immediate families, their agents or anyone professionally associated with this promotion. The
winner can also choose to receive either: one ticket to the Friday of the 2014 Formula One British Grand Prix (4 July 2014) or
two tickets to the Friday of the 2014 MotoGP British Grand Prix (29 August 2014 provisional date). The prize does not include
any travel, tourist visas, travel insurance, (mandatory) passports, meals, accommodation or any other costs of a personal nature
not stated (including spending money), all of which will be the sole responsibility of the winner. The prize is non-transferable,
non-refundable, may not be combined with any other ofer, and has no cash value. There is no cash alternative, except where
the promoter, for reasons outside of their control, is not able to provide the stated prize, in which case the winner will receive a
prize of equal or greater value. The prize must be taken as stated and no compensation will be payable if a winner is unable to
use the prize as stated. Any unused prize elements will be forfeited. All bookings must be made via the Silverstone Call Centre
and are subject to availability. The driving experience element of the prize must be taken by 31 May 2014. The closing date for
entries is: 11:59pmGMT, 31 December 2013. The terms and conditions of the Silverstone driving experience can be viewed here
(but are not limited to the following): silverstone.co.uk/silverstone-terms-and-conditions/experience-terms-and-conditions. The
winner will be selected at randomfromall valid entries received under the supervision of an independent observer. Winners will
be notied by email within 28 days of the closing date. In the event of unforeseen circumstances the promoter reserves the
right to substitute the prize for an alternative of equal or greater value.
The Editors decision is nal. No correspondence will be entered into. Winners may be required to participate in publicity
arising fromthe competition. The promoter assumes no responsibility for damages, losses or injuries that result from
acceptance of the prize. An indemnity/waiver may be required fromthe winner. The promoter assumes no responsibility for
refusal to grant the prize in part or in its entirety to a winner deemed ineligible to take part in the prize due to failure to read
and properly understand the terms and conditions set by Silverstone above. By taking part in this competition all entrants will
be deemed to have accepted and be bound by these terms and conditions.
61
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JANUARY 2014 G
All the trimmings:
The stars of our
festive feast include
roasted chestnuts,
trompette mushrooms
and saddle of venison
Edited by Bill Prince & Paul Henderson
Seasons eatings
GQs Christmas menu makeover mixes the fantastic with the familiar
63
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Ingredients
(Serves 4)
12 baby artichokes,
trimmed and kept
in water with
lemon juice
For the
pickling liquor
4 shallots, peeled
and sliced
50g caster sugar
8 black
peppercorns
1tsp coriander
seeds
1 sprig of thyme
400ml water
150ml olive
pomace oil
50ml white wine
vinegar
2g salt
500g rocket
Rocket
500ml grapeseed
oil
Sherry vinegar
totaste
1 cooked Prigord
trufe
30ml trufe oil
3 egg yolks
Salt to taste
The main
Daube of venison,
with quince, chestnuts
and Brussels tops
By Chris Galvin, chef patron
atGalvin Bistrot de Luxe
66 Baker Street, London W1.
020-7935 4007. galvinrestaurants.com
The starter
Christmas
artichokesalad
By Neil Borthwick, head
chefatMerchants Tavern
36 Charlotte Road, London EC2.
020-7060 5335. merchantstavern.co.uk
Method
Boil together all the
ingredients for the
liquor and simmer
for ten minutes
untilthe shallots
arecooked.
Cut the artichokes
inhalf or quarters
depending on size
and cook in the
liquor until just
tender. Allow to
coolto ambient
temperature.
Wash the rocket,
spin dry, then
refrigerate
untilrequired.
Make the trufe
cream in a blender
Ingredients
(Serves 4)
2.5kg saddle on the
bone, trimmed and
sprinkled with salt
and cracked pepper
350ml red wine
(preferably Ctes
deRhne)
20g butter
4 shallots,
nelysliced
125ml port
1tbsp redcurrant
jelly
Sprig of thyme
1 bay leaf
Sprig of rosemary
Method
Add half the olive
oil to a heavy-
bottomed pan and
heat until almost
smoking and seal
the meat all over.
Turn the saddle
onto its bones
and place in a hot
oven, 200C, for
25minutes. Baste
and reduce the
heat to 175C for a
further 15 minutes,
then remove from
the oven. Place
venison saddle on
a plate and cover
with foil, keeping
it in a warm place.
Pour the fat away
from the roasting
tray and place on
the hob until hot.
Add nob of butter
and stir shallots in
until they take on
Wine recommendation
As this is the kick-of dish for Christmas
day, start with bubbles and go for Cuve
Royale Crmant de Limoux (10.99, waitrose.
com). Its got all the efervescent qualities of
achampagne and has a biscuity character
whichremains light and dry, but puts up a
goodfront against some stronger food avours.
Thomas Blythe, general manager at
MerchantsTavern
Fresh start: A delicate
appetiser courtesy
ofMerchants Tavern
(inset)
by blending the
yolks with the
trufe, sherry
vinegar, salt and
then slowly add
theoil toobtain a
creamy emulsion.
Check theseasoning
andrefrigerate.
Mix the artichokes
with the rocket
andthe shallots
from the cooking
liquor and arrange
on serving plates.
Drizzle liberally
with the trufe
cream and nish
with grated
Parmesan.
75ml olive oil
500ml light
beefstock
50g trompette
mushrooms
10g claried butter
1 quince cut into
segments poached
instock syrup
withatablespoon
ofhoney and a
fewlemon drops
12 chestnuts, roasted
andskinned
6 Brussels tops,
trimmed, washed
and steamed
Chopped parsley
Whine and dine by Michael Heath
JANUARY 2014 G 65
TASTE
The dessert
Christmas baked Alaska
By Tom Harris, chef patron at One Leicester Street
One Leicester Street, Leicester Street, London WC2.
020-33018020.oneleicesterstreet.com
Wine recommendation
To go with venison, try the 2008 Chteau
du Cdre, Cahors (14.40, bigredwine.co.
uk). Inky, intense and with dark forest fruits,
thiswine is great with game as well as strong
cheeses. Andrea Briccarello, head sommelier
atGalvin Bistrot de Luxe
Ingredients
(Serves 4)
To make
the cake
40g plain our
1/4 tsp of
bakingpowder
120g icing sugar
(sifted)
45g ground
almonds
120g egg whites
65g unsalted
butter
20g currants
(soaked in tea)
20g mixed peel
(chopped)
2 litres of
pruneice cream
(vanilla ice cream
can be used as
asubstitute)
Prunes in brandy
For the
meringue
175g caster sugar
90g egg whites
Zest of one orange
Method
Pour hot black tea
over currants and
leave to soak for
acouple of hours.
When plump,
strain of liquid.
Melt butter over a
medium heat until
it starts to brown
and smell nutty.
Sieve and allow to
cool. Mix together
the our, baking
powder, sugar and
almonds. Whisk
inegg whites and
butter until just
combined. Fold
incurrants and
mixed peel.
Pour ingredients
into an eight-inch
spring-form cake
tin, buttered and
lined with baking
parchment. Set
for20 minutes in
a fridge and then
bake in an oven
at170C for 15-20
minutes. Leave
tocool for 15
minutes then
turnout on a rack.
When the cake is
cool, spread the
ice cream over the
cake base. Cover
To assemble
Remove cake base
and ice cream from
freezer and place on
an oven-proof plate.
Cover with meringue
mixture. Freeze for
acouple of hours.
When ready to serve,
preheat the oven to
colour. Pour the red
wine and port into
the pan to deglaze.
Add the thyme, bay
leaf and rosemary,
stirring all the time
to lift the venison
bits from the
bottom of the
pan.Once reduced
by half, add the
redcurrant jelly
andallow to bubble
for ve minutes.
Toss the trompette
mushrooms in
claried butter
for one minute.
Sprinkle with a little
seasoning and drain
on to kitchen paper,
keeping warm
above the stove.
Heat the quince
inalittle syrup,
andput chestnuts
through the oven
forone minute.
To serve, present
the saddle with all
the garnish. Take
aplate and place
apiece of the
venison on to it,
then sprinkle with
the trompette,
chestnuts, quince
and Brussels tops.
Finally, spoon over
some cooking
liquor and sprinkle
with the parsley.
We often serve
thiswith some
crushed, buttery,
celeriac pure.
Wine recommendation
To nish your meal in style, I recommend
an English sparkling wine. The Nyetimber
Demi-Sec NV (34, harveynichols.com) is a
perfect celebratory and decadent match to
sucha festive dessert, complementing the fruit
and the lightness of meringue. Hannah Borrell,
restaurant manager at One Leicester Street
with clinglm and
freeze. This can be
done a good few
days in advance.
Make the
meringue on
theday. To do
this, combine egg
whites andsugar
in a round-
bottomed mixing
bowl. Place bowl
over a pan of
simmering water
and whisk until
they reach 60C.
Remove from heat
and whisk until
cool, preferably
ina stand mixer.
Fold in the
orangezest.
Ice in a slice: Prunes in brandy give
theclassicAlaska a seasonal feel;
OneLeicesterStreet (inset)
Party game: Make
daube of venison your
festive centrepiece;
inside Galvin Bistrot
deLuxe (inset)
180C. Place Alaska
in the oven and bake
until golden (5-8
minutes). Serve
immediately. Add
prunes and pour
aming brandy
overthe Alaska
ifyou dare.
JANUARY 2014 G
Treasure islands
Beach-side dining, a five-star spa and twoprivate isles:
discover a wealth of beauty at Le Touessrok in Mauritius
The best places on earth and how to get there in style
Edited by Bill Prince
What really constitutes
a holiday to remember?
In your late teens, the
benchmark of a great holiday is one
that you are unable to remember.
In your twenties, you crave luxury,
peace and just a small hint of
decadence. After all, being totally
refreshed and revitalised isnt very
rocknroll is it? Then into your third
decade and beyond, you need your
individual needs catered for. And
this is where Mauritius sweeps in
like a cool breeze at the tail end
of a hot, sticky day on the beach.
Lapped by the Indian Ocean,
Mauritius has become a byword for
luxury, with ve-star resorts scattered
across the island. But none impress
quite like Le Touessrok. Its vast
stretch of beach is home to villas and
restaurants which sit on private sands
(obviating the need for those
long-wait transportation buggies).
Out in the lagoon and accessible by
boat are two private islands, lot
Mangnie and le aux Cerfs, the latter
home to the resorts award-winning
18-hole championship golf course.
Throw in seven restaurants offering
Indian, Italian, Asian and local fare,
a Givenchy spa and an entire

Innity and beyond
(clockwise from above):
Le Touessroks Hibiscus
beach and private villas
ofer ve-star views
oftheIndian Ocean
67
TRAVEL
G JANUARY 2014
The Marbella Club is not
justone of my favourite
hotels, it is one of my
favourite places on the face
of this (or indeed any other)
planet. But even I would
have trouble promoting the
place as a ski resort... or at
least I would have done until
last year. That is when the
Marbella Club acquired El
Lodge in the Sierra Nevada.
You can see the snow-
mantled slopes of this
mountain range from
thecoastal highway and
without undue use of the
right foot you can make
thejourney from the
terraceof the Marbella
ClubGrill tothe terrace
ofElLodge intwo hours
and 26minutes.
El Lodge is a log-cabin,
chalet-style place, and
allthat is best about the
Marbella Club has been
brought up from the coast
for instance, the Suite
nightclub and beach
concept has been re-tailored
for the mountains. However,
at El Lodge the look is
chill-out chalet chic: cool
greys, a zinc-topped bar,
vintage-look ski posters,
Smeg fridges on each
oorwithfree water and
fruit,antlerchandeliers that
looksculptural rather than
giving the appearance of
having just come from
astag hunt or Tyrolean
beerhall. Meanwhile,
thestaf allseem to have
beenrecruited from a
beach-volleyball team.
I dont ski, but I have
done grand non-skiing
tripsto Saint Moritz, Gstaad
and Kitzbhel. But this was
something diferent again:
chic boutique non-skiing.
After lunch, it was time
foramassage, and as the
weather was so delightful
Ielected to have this
outside on the private
guests terrace, followed
bya few lengths in the
open-air pool, where
swimming amidthesnow
was a surrealexperience.
With the sun getting
abitlow in the sky,
thesirensong of the
MarbellaClub Grill began
tomake itself heard and
within a couple of hours
Iwas back in goodtime
fora cheese souf
andachocolate mousse.
Myidea of a perfect day
inthemountains.

Stays at El Lodge (ellodge.
com) start from365 per
night in a double lodge.
British Airways (ba.com)
iesfrom London to Malaga
from 78return.
Out of range
Theres more to Spains Sierra Nevada than slopes
andsun. Marbella Clubs El Lodge is the go-to chic
hotel for non-skiing trips too, says Nick Foulkes
Chalet to rest:
TheNevada terrace
atElLodgesSuite
chill-out terrace
bringsthe beach to
themountainside
GQ INFO A seven-night stay at
Le Touessrok, withAirMauritius
ights, can be booked through
Kuoni(quoting KU9427, kuoni.co.uk) from
2,330 perpersononahalf-board basis.
letouessrokresort.com

department devoted to leisure
activities and it will come as no
surprise that Le Touessrok has a high
rate of return visitors every year.
Why? Because the staff here have
mastered that tricky balance of
excellent, impeccable, attentive
service, without ever becoming
overbearing or, dare we say
it, annoying.
Le Touessrok often wins travel
awards and is renowned for its family
friendliness, but this is not because
children are left to run riot.
Conversely, there is so much
entertainment for kids that you can
drop your offspring off
at the childrens club at any time
without notice leaving you to slip
away quietly to sip a cocktail by the
innity pool.
GQ reluctantly left after ten days,
waxing lyrical that it was the best
trip wed ever taken. A few weeks
later and were still standing by
that assertion. Now, thats a holiday
to remember. James Mullinger
Light fantastic:
The entrance
tothe award-
winning
Le Touessrok
68
Vintage BR 126 Blackbird Automatic chronograph with Flyback function Limited edition to 500 pieces Bell & Ross UK: +44 207 096 0878 e-Boutique: www.bellross.com

N
A
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A
JANUARY 2014 G
FIGHT OR FLIGHT
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The secret of success? Epic fail
Y
ou have to get over this fantasy that your career
will just keep on getting better.
It never happens. No career just goes on
getting better. We all suffer setbacks, pitfalls
and failures that you can never quite imagine until they
smack you in the face.
You might get sacked. Or your greatest ally in the
ofce gets sacked (or retires, moves on, gets sick or
dies). Your sales start to decline. Your prots sink.
Your skill set is overtaken by technology and time. It
happens. You never think that it will happen to you.
And then it does. It always does.
There were millions of blacksmiths who believed
they had a job for life because people would always
need horseshoes. Coal miners could not conceive of
a world where the mines were closed down forever. And
then they did. Because, sooner or later, everybodys
metaphorical coal mine closes down. Travel agents, print
journalists, shopkeepers all sidelined by the digital
revolution. One day you have to go right back to the
start and begin all over again.
One day you have to reboot.
It is unrealistic for you to expect your career to go
from strength to strength. Not even the greatest careers
manage that. Steve Jobs. Frank Sinatra. Muhammad Ali.
Their careers did not just go on getting stronger. There
were black times when these men were on their knees.
There were dark days when they thought it was truly
all over and all of them had catastrophic failures mid-
career. They all had to reboot.
Because success even the greatest of success is
never linear. There are ups and there are downs in every
career. Some of the ups will be more glorious than you
can imagine. And some of the downs will be very low
indeed so low that you are scraping rock bottom, so
wretched you cant help thinking that the best days are
past, hard times when simply keeping calm and carry-
ing on is not enough. Thats when you have to reboot.
Steve Jobs started Apple in his parents garage when
he was 20. When he had just turned 30, Jobs fought
with his board of directors and they forced him out
of the company. He was totally crushed. What had
been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, he
said, and it was devastating.
That bump in the road is always just around the corner, so be ready
to lose everything and start all over again. Take inspiration from
Sinatra, Ali and Jobs reboot your career to achieve true greatness
There will be
hard times
when simply
keeping calm
and carrying
on is not
enough
Everything went wrong for Frank Sinatra as he hit
his mid-thirties at the start of the Fifties. Sinatras
vocal cords were so shot they were haemorrhaging. His
teen audience the bobbysoxers who had adored him
and made him a star had grown up, grown cold and
moved on. In 1952, Sinatra lost both his TV show and
his recording contract. Imagine that in 1952 Frank
Sinatra did not even have a recording contract.
And think on this Muhammad Ali did not ght from
April 1967 to October 1970, from the age of 25 to almost
28. Ali spent his absolute physical prime in a hideous
limbo exiled from the ring because he had refused to
ght in Vietnam and he no longer had a boxing licence.
Steve Jobs thrown out of Apple. Frank Sinatra
sick, ageing, out of fashion and forgotten. And
Muhammad Ali banned from boxing in those eet-
ing golden years that would never come again. These
men were asked to endure the unendurable. But what
did they do? They rebooted.
Jobs left Apple and founded NeXT, the computer
company that ten years later would provide the foun-
dation for what became Mac OS X, and then developed
Pixar, investing $50m of his own money (Toy Story
credits him as an executive producer). He stayed in the
game. He kept working. He took risks. He rebooted
and 12 years after getting forced out, Jobs returned to
Apple in triumph to take the company to the moun-
tain top.
Sinatra rebooted with a change of direction (rebooting
requires imagination as much as bravery). He landed the
role as Private Maggio in From Here To Eternity (1953),
for which he won an Academy Award a year later, and
went from has-been singer to Oscar-winning actor with
just one lm. In 1953, he also signed a recording con-
tract with Capitol Records. Sinatras career wasnt over.
It had really just begun.
When Ali returned to the ring he no longer possessed
the speed and uidity of youth. But these youthful
attributes were replaced with cunning and Alis
most underrated quality monumental courage. The
reinvented Ali mastered George Foreman in 1974 who
some commentators believed might kill him in Zaire
and his greatest opponent, Joe Frazier, a year later.
When we think of these men, we think of what they
became after rebooting their careers. We think of
71
NOTTING HILL MAYFAIR CANARY WHARF SPITALFIELDS
JANUARY 2014 G
FIGHT OR FLIGHT
Jobs after his return to Apple and the creations that
transformed our world Jobs the supreme visionary
of the digital age, standing smiling on a stage in jeans
giving us our rst look at the iMac, iPod, iPad, iPhone
and iTunes. We think of the rebooted Steve Jobs.
And when we think of Sinatra we remember his
renaissance at Capitol Records as the grand master
of American song, we think of the 1956 album Songs
For Swingin Lovers!, the 1958 Come Fly With Me and
the great collaborations with Nelson Riddle. All after
Sinatras reboot in his mid-thirties.
And the legend of Muhammad Ali is not about the
young Louisville Lip who beat Sonny Liston, but the Ali
who came back after those long years in the wilderness,
the older Ali who co-starred in the Rumble In The
Jungle and the Thrilla In Manila. We think of Ali
rebooted as the greatest sportsman of all time.
True greatness, the greatness that other men will
remember for 100 years after your death, only really
comes after a reboot. When you have climbed to the
top of the tree, crashed back down with broken bones
and then got back up. After fate has ground you
down to nothing, and the world has written you off as
nished, thats when you have to reboot or surrender.
Nobody chooses to reboot. Jobs never wanted to be
pushed out of Apple. Sinatra did not want to know what
it felt like to not have a recording contract. Ali did not
choose to lose most of the second half of his twenties
because he would not ght in Vietnam. Although it
takes enormous bravery, rebooting is always something
that is forced upon you.
You reboot when you reach that moment of total
darkness and despair a moment that you know in your
blood and bones will go on forever unless you nd the
courage to do something about it.
You reboot when the future is uncertain and the
present is riddled with anxiety. You reboot when you
nally know that your career cannot continue on the
road that it is on, because this road is a dead end. That
is when you have no choice.
Rebooting is never easy. Rebooting takes a strange
combination of humility and grit. You need enough
humility to admit your career is dead in the water,
but enough self-belief to start again. You have to
be humble, smart and tough. You also need to be
sufciently exible or pragmatic to try something
new. Jobs buying the computer graphics division of
Lucaslm that became Pixar, Sinatra taking his acting
seriously, Ali admitting that he could no longer rely
on blinding speed.
No career worth having is easy. Getting to the top
is hard. Staying at the top is harder. But having the
courage to reboot is the hardest thing of all...
T
here is an old Zen parable about a sword. It
goes like this if you change the blade of the
sword and then you change the handle, is it still
the same sword? Careers are like that sword.
Business is like that sword. Changes happen without
you really noticing and suddenly you are in a world
that you no longer recognise.
A major reason for needing to reboot your career is
that you lose a powerful friend, or they get the boot.
It doesnt really matter where they go. What matters
is that they are gone and that it is highly unlikely that
your career will thrive in quite the same way under the
new regime. There are a thousand things that can go
wrong with a career. But when they go seriously wrong
there is only one option. Reboot or die.
My mothers brothers worked in the print industry
that old Fleet Street of hot metal print. And then in the
Eighties, technology took a great leap forward, the news-
papers moved to Wapping and suddenly their jobs no
longer existed. It was as brutal, cruel and simple as that.
And now my own trade of journalism is in terminal
decline, battered senseless by the digital revolution,
declining advertising revenues, the modern belief that
you should get everything for nothing and politicians
who despise the press for catching them with their
trousers down and their ngers in the expenses till. Every
journalist I know who has left a national newspaper in
the last three years has had to nd a new job outside
of journalism. The working world changes, whether we
want it to or not. One day every man must wake up to
discover that he is a blacksmith watching with disbelief
as a Ford Model T comes over the horizon. There is no
shame in rebooting. Sooner or later, we all have to do it.
Before you do reboot, you will know total misery,
a sense of crushing failure and the nagging doubt that
comes with thinking the best is all behind you. I know
I certainly did.
F
or ten years, my books had own to the top of
the bestseller lists. Their success never quite
matched the heady days of 2001, when Man
And Boy was the No1 paperback and One For
My Baby was the No1 hardback. It was never again
quite as phenomenal as that but they were all best-
sellers, until the last one, Catching The Sun, which came
and went without the world knowing, caring or buying.
And the problem is that publishers give you peanuts
at the start of your career and huge advances later on.
This inevitably means that when the downturn comes,
you look like a waste of money, not to mention space.
There are reasons. There are excuses. Catching The
Sun was published in the summer of Fifty Shades Of
Grey, when every other book was being ignored and
careers of editors, publishers, agents, authors were
expiring overnight. But every business is ultimately a
bottom-line business and as a novelist, I was suddenly
nished, yesterdays man, all washed up as washed up
as I had been as a journalist until Piers Morgan became
editor of the Daily Mirror and turned me into a national
newspaper columnist. Thanks to Piers, I rebooted my
journalism career. After my last book stiffed, I needed
to reboot my career as a novelist.
Kipling said, If you can... watch the things you gave
your life to, broken, and stoop and build em up with
worn-out tools... yours is the earth and everything in it.
There was a man who knew a bit about rebooting.
I cashed in my pension and wrote a crime novel called
The Murder Bag. Two years of crippling uncertainty,
self-doubt and anxiety. One nal roll of the dice. I deliv-
ered the manuscript to my agent on a summer Monday.
He sent it out on Tuesday. On Wednesday, I had a
three-book, six-gure deal. Random House publish
The Murder Bag in hardback in May 2014. And now
something wonderful happens every day. More than
anything, its a relief.
You never reboot because you want success. You
reboot because you want to survive.
You need
enough
humility to
admit your
career is
dead but
enough
self-belief to
start again
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WHAT I WEAR
NEXT
PURCHASE
Ive been looking at a
pair of Nike Free Hyperfeel
running shoes. Theyre very
sci- a cross between a duck
boot and a climbing slipper. I
spend a fortune on running
gear, its my only vice.
Well, almost...
Shoes
We collaborated with John Lobb
about three years ago to try and
produce the perfect, classically English,
Oxford-capped toe. They are simple,
made from black calf-leather, and
handmade in Northampton.

By John Lobb, 695. johnlobb.com
Watch
My girlfriend gave me this
1970Rolex Oysterdate. Its
verysimple, straightforward,
unfussy and it suits me down
toa tee. Watch-wise, Im not
ahuge fan of oversized dials.
By Rolex. rolex.com
Cufinks
If Im wearing a metal accessory
cufinks, a watch, a belt or even a
shoe buckle I always make sure the
metals match. Never mix gold,
bronze and brass.
By Herms, 500. hermes.com
Wristband
Lately, Ive been wearing a Nike+
Fuelband under my sleeve. Its a little
accelerometer that measures your
motion and then converts this, probably
fairly arbitrarily, into calories and steps. I
got it to help my training for the Scotland
Coast To Coast an arduous race by
road, loch and trail across the Highlands.
By Nike, 129. nike.com
My
style
The impeccably
groomed Savile Row
suit maker takes us
through his choices
for preparing a
winter wardrobe
Suit
The Hammond & Co suit is from
mycollection at Debenhams. It is a
very ne, chequered wool suit with
a slightly milled texture, giving it a
annel-style nish.
Jacket, 165. Trousers, 84. Both by
Hammond & Co By Patrick Grant.
At Debenhams. debenhams.com
Coat
From this winters E Tautz
collection, this is an oversized Fraser
tartan that was woven especially in
Scotland by Johnstons Of Elgin. The
idea was to take the traditional
Scottish vernacular and twist it.
By E Tautz, 1,065. etautz.com
Patrick Grant: Tailor
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www.twsteeluk.com
TW403 48 MM
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JANUARY 2014 G
If you have something that
you dont want anyone to
know, maybe you shouldnt
be doing it in the rst place
ERIC SCHMIDT
Dot-com Juan:
Eric Schmidt,
Googles executive
chairman, has fallen
prey to privacy-
busting tools much
like those developed
by his company
Story by Chris Ayres
The internets sweet revenge on Google chairman Eric Schmidt
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JANUARY 2014 G
ERIC SCHMIDT
As in: Eric Schmidt, the internet companys
58-year-old executive chairman a
man whose circular glasses, boiled-ham
complexion and shapeless black suits make
him look more like a mid-level Scandinavian
architect from 1986 than one of the richest
men on earth.
Schmidt is everywhere online.
Type his name into the site over which
he presides, and the bots and spiders that toil
beneath the surface of the web will present
you with thousands of blandly identical
images of his corporate head shot, along
with some extraordinary details about
the Washington-born, married-with-kids
programmer who spends much of his time
circling the globe in his Gulfstream V jet.
Details like his 5bn of personal
stockholdings, for example. Or his recent
visits to Number Ten Downing Street
where he has a place on David Camerons
business advisory group and to one of
Kim Il-sung Universitys computer labs in
North Korea. Not to mention the Bermudan
tax-avoidance scheme he helps operate as a
member of Googles board of directors the
company paid just 11.2m to HM Revenues
& Customs last year on an estimated 3bn
of UK revenues and his now-infamous
statement that: If you have something that
you dont want anyone to know, maybe you
shouldnt be doing it in the rst place.
Of all the above, of course, it has been
the Google chairmans radical view of
privacy rights or our lack thereof that
has transformed him from anonymous
mega-nerd to a kind of Big Brother gure
for the post-iPhone age.
Schmidt has boasted that we can more or
less know what youre thinking about, that
we can suggest what you should do next,
and opined that everyone in the future
should change their name on reaching
adulthood to escape the undeletable
indiscretions of their teenage years. The last
was a joke, he has since claimed, although
its hard to blame anyone for taking him
seriously. This is, after all, the man who
brought us Street View maps, video-enabled
glasses and software that can use our prole
pictures in adverts targeted at our friends.
But since the mid-Noughties, in an irony so
large it can probably be viewed from one of
the asteroids that Google soon hopes to mine
(on which more later), Schmidt has found
himself a victim of the same kind of
privacy-obliterating tools that his company
has spent 15 years developing.
There has been speculation about his
sound-proofed penthouse apartment in
the heart of Manhattan. Racy images
of bikini-topped young females from a
now-closed Instagram account. And,
bizarrely, an account of the Google
chairmans 2007 road trip to the Burning
Man festival in Nevada, during which he
had a screaming argument with Apple
founder Steve Jobs on a desert payphone,
and was later photographed amid the acid
heads and techno freaks dressed in a red
neckerchief and a pair of Breaking Bad-style
lab goggles.
All of which couldnt have come at
a more sensitive time for Google, given
that its share price has just blown past the
psychologically important $1,000 mark, in
large part due to the salivation of investors
over the very same services that have so
enraged Schmidts critics.
At the time of writing, Schmidt was
maintaining an uncomfortable silence on
the increasing clamour over his not-so-
private life. But his wife of 33 years,
Wendy (with whom he has two grown-up
daughters, Allison and Sophie), speaking to
a New York Times reporter from her home on
the billionaires island of Nantucket, off the
coast of Cape Cod, Massachusetts, said that
some couples are very much in each others
space all the time. [But] in our case, we are
both busy.
Pressed if she and her husband have an
open marriage, she added: We dont
comment on rumours. People will write
things. You just have to ignore them.
To which the press has responded by
continuing to write things.
Even Rupert Murdoch, founder and
chairman of News Corp whose mischief-
making New York Post tabloid has been all
over Schmidts alleged womanising since last
July has done his bit. Back in October, the
mogul was asked by a fellow user of Twitter
to expose the Google chairman.
Just wait! was his reply.
urdoch, it should be
noted, later backed away
from this taunt. (Oops!
he wrote. Better ignore
last tweet.) Schmidt,
after all, has some
well-connected friends,
including one Barack H Obama. Schmidt is so
close to the United States president, in fact,
that he spent election night in November
2012 with Obamas data analytics team in
the Cave, their disco-ball-decorated
headquarters in a nondescript ofce block
in Chicago.
Many believe it was Schmidt and this crack
unit of genius-IQ programmers who ensured
Obamas pundit-defying ve-million-vote
margin of victory largely due to their ability
to predict where campaign resources needed
to be targeted before polling booths closed.
The Google chairman, in other words, is
someone that even the richest men in the
world dont want as an enemy.
The truth is, Google is more powerful than
a lot of governments, argues Alexander
Hanff, a Blackpool-born privacy advocate,
who recently sued Google for the token sum
of 399.95 over changes to its data-sharing
What happens when
you Google the man
who runs Google?
Schmidt happens,
thats what.
Feature starts
M
The Instagram
79
Marcy Simon
The superyacht
Schmidt is someone even the worlds richest men dont want as an enemy
The charity benet
Power boat (clockwise from top): Schmidts alleged mistress Marcy Simon; his 45m yacht;
withArianna Hufngton, Frances Beinecke and wife Wendy at a New York charity event, 2011
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ERIC SCHMIDT

policy. They certainly have more wealth
[34bn at the last count] than many of the
poorer countries in the world. And then, of
course, theres the matter of Googles near-
omniscience. You might have forgotten what
you did at, say, 9am on 17 July back in 2011,
Hanff says. Google hasnt. It knows more
about you than you know about yourself.
But how did Schmidt end up in such
a Blofeldian position?
The answer, unsurprisingly, is a mixture
of upbringing and luck.
One of three German-American brothers,
he grew up in Virginia with an economics
professor father who worked at the US
Treasury under the Nixon Administration.
At high school he was a champion long-
distance runner. After that he won a place at
the Ivy League university Princeton, where
he switched from architecture to electrical
engineering, before moving to another elite
year. But he would also collect enough stock
options to give him a bank balance in the
billions a rare feat for a non-founder
of a company while being rewarded with
prestigious directorships elsewhere, including
a seat on Apples board.
By 2007, however, the rst gossip about
Schmidts alleged female indulgences began
to circulate. A blonde PR called Marcy Simon
her Twitter handle is @teonblondie had
been spotted on his yacht in the French
Riviera wearing what appeared to be a large
yellow diamond engagement ring. The theory
at the time was that Schmidt was already
separated and preparing for a divorce. This
wasnt so, however. In fact, Wendy Schmidt
had just helped set up a 110m family
foundation, and the Google chairman was
still paying visits to her in Nantucket. (Their
house on the island, it has been observed,
has privacy hedges that stand three metres
high.) And then Schmidt was seen with
yet another woman, Kate Bohner (its
pronounced Bonner, not Boner), a wild-
living ex-TV reporter whod once co-
authored a book with Donald Trump and
was the ex-wife of the bestselling Moneyball
author Michael Lewis.
This, alas, is where things got messy.
Eric just emailed her out of the blue, said
Ive been following your career, lets meet
up, recalls Jason Parsley, a journalist based
in Florida, and one of Bohners close friends.
(Bohner declined to talk to GQ, and Parsley
said he was not speaking for her.) Its as
though he becomes infatuated with people,
and hes so powerful and wealthy, he can just
make it happen.
Being the girlfriend of the man who
commands a website used by practically
every human being in the western
hemisphere certainly has its advantages.
institution Berkeley in northern California
where he earned his PhD in computer
science. It was at Berkeley that he also
met his wife, Wendy, a graduate student
in journalism. They married in the summer
of 1980.
Schmidts rst big job was at Sun
Microsystems, the company behind the Java
programming language. His time there was
arguably most notable for an April Fools
prank that resulted in his entire ofce
including a working telephone being
relocated to a platform in the middle of
a pond. From Sun he went to Novell, a
troubled networking software company
whose products were facing obsolescence.
According to one former colleague quoted
in Forbes, Schmidt made his mark by
reprimanding Novells sales team for
cheering when the US Justice Department
declared Microsoft to be a monopoly.
They should be ashamed of themselves,
said Schmidt, for ever allowing a competitor
to become so big and so strong.
It was this kind of testosterone-spitting
attitude that so appealed to Google founders
Sergey Brin and Larry Page when they
were looking for someone to provide adult
supervision as they turned their four-year-
old search directory into a viable business.
They appointed Schmidt CEO in 2001, and
a few months later, had reported their rst
prot. For most of the rest of the decade,
Schmidt would take a salary of only $1 a
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The billionaire lifestyle
Kate Bohner
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ERIC SCHMIDT
One of Schmidts rst gifts to her was
a priceless iPhone prototype, supplied by
Steve Jobs. Schmidt didnt want it for himself,
apparently, because he couldnt stand the
touch-screen keyboard. Besides, he was
working on a secret rival, code-named the
G-phone, later to become the Android/
Nexus family of devices.
From what I know, it was basically an
open relationship, but they had certain rules,
like no photographs in public, says Parsley.
Kate was in love, though. Head over heels.
She even moved to LA to be on the same
coast as Eric.
Bohner went public with her blog,
Recovery Girl 007, in which she detailed
an affair along with her own struggle with
drugs, which included once snorting cocaine
in Hyde Park. At around the same time,
reports and photographs emerged of the
couples visit to Burning Man, where
Schmidt apparently refused to sleep in
a tent, instead choosing to make a two-and-
a-half-hour commute to a hotel in Reno.
Schmidts phone argument with Jobs
also leaked out in excruciating detail.
According to one unnamed source, the
signal on Schmidts BlackBerry kept
dropping, hence the need to use a landline
at a convenience store in the middle of the
desert. Jobs had just found out about the
G-Phone and was beyond livid. Schmidt
visibly lost his composure as he took
the epic bollocking from Cupertino,
said the source. His face went weird.
Taken in broader context, the episode
paints a rather lonely portrait of Schmidt,
who is almost 20 years older than Googles
two richer and far cooler founders.
Indeed, its said that Brin and Page often
leave Schmidt out of their plans, even though
it was supposedly their common love for
Burning Man that helped bring them together
in the rst place. Brin reportedly didnt even
invite Schmidt to his 2007 marriage to Anne
Wojcicki in the Bahamas. (They are now
separated.) And of course two years ago Page
replaced Schmidt as CEO, leaving him in his
current position of chairman and the public
face of anti-Google criticism.
Meanwhile, Steve Jobs whom Brin and
Page idolised kicked Schmidt off Apples
board with a brutal press release stating:
Erics effectiveness as a board member will
be signicantly diminished since he will have
to recuse himself from even larger portions
of our meetings due to potential conicts
of interest. It was a painful moment for
Schmidt, whod always looked up to Jobs,
and had tried many times if the rumours
are correct to get invited over to his house
for a man-date dinner.
Its lonely at the top, for sure. But Schmidts
curious position as a nancial peer of many
of the worlds leading entrepreneurs yet
not really one of them due to his non-
founder status has surely made it only
lonelier still. Bohners blog has since
disappeared, supposedly under pressure
from Schmidts lawyers. But more stories of
alleged girlfriends supposedly keep emerging
as Wendy remains on Nantucket, protesting
that she would feel like a piece of luggage
if she tagged along with her husband on his
yacht or private jet.
he latest burst of gossip
came last summer, when
the Page Six column in
the New York Post linked
Schmidt to two women:
Lisa Shields, an attractive
single mother and
executive on the Council On Foreign
Relations think-tank; and the striking
Vietnamese pianist Chau-Giang Thi Nguyen,
ex-ance of the Oscar-winning producer
Brian Grazer.
The Post also revealed that Schmidt was
the mystery buyer of a 9.4m penthouse at
31 West 21st Street in Manhattan, better
known as the home of Shia LaBeoufs
character in the Oliver Stone movie Wall
Street: Money Never Sleeps. Bigger than
many family homes in the suburbs, the
apartment has four bedrooms, a oating
staircase, a walk-in bar, a private lift that
cant be operated without a key, and a
massive wrap-around roof terrace with
head-on, unobstructed views of the Empire
State Building. It has been said that Schmidt
likes the apartment because it doesnt have
a doorman an oddity in that price-range in
Manhattan and that he has paid millions
to have the place soundproofed because he
doesnt sleep well. Bloggers have, of course,
leapt all over these last two allegations,
although in fairness, soundproong an
apartment in Manhattans Flatiron District
would hardly be unusual.
As if all this werent enough to ram home
the image of Schmidt as a cross between
T
Back Next Cancel
Jobs for the boy (from left): Schmidts $20m home in California; Lisa Shields has been linked to Schmidt by the
New York Post; with Steve Jobs, hailing Googles partnership with the iPhone, 2006; Kate Bohner (below)
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ERIC SCHMIDT
Hugh Hefner and a James Bond
supervillain, the Google chairman also
owns a 45m yacht, Oasis, which features
a pool and a gym that turns into an
ocean-bound nightclub.
Meanwhile, Gawker Media blog Valley
Wag managed to locate what it claimed to be
Schmidts private Instagram account, gaining
access to the list of people he was following.
The images of oiled and tanned females in
hula skirts and other items of beachwear
that emerged could hardly have been further
removed from the old, white and very male
technology bloggers and venture capitalists
he keeps tabs on via Twitter.
The account, needless to say, now directs
to a Page Not Found.
While some are concerned that the
media stalking of Schmidt might have gone
too far, sympathy for the Google chairman
is nevertheless a scarce commodity.
I would defend anyones right to
privacy, whether its Eric Schmidts or David
Camerons, says Alexander Hanff. At the
same time, you can see the irony. These
systems that hes been involved with have
made him vastly wealthy and now, here
they are, being used against him.
Kate Bohners friend Parsley has a slightly
different take. He was pissed off, he claims.
But also he has the power and money to
stop people from talking. Your average
person cant do that. So its not exactly
a level playing eld, is it?
chmidt isnt the rst
technology billionaire to
live like a king, of course.
Larry Ellison, the founder
of Oracle, is the owner of
a ghter jet, competes in
deadly yacht races, and
once hired craftsmen in Japan to build him
a home which was then dismantled and
reassembled on his estate in California. Oh,
and he recently bought Hawaii or rather,
the entire island of Lanai for about $500m.
Even Bill Gates has had his moments of
mogul excess: he successfully lobbied to
change American law so he could legally
import his beloved Porsche 959 supercar.
In theory, therefore, it should hardly
matter that Schmidt is enjoying the
freedoms that come with great wealth.
Google, after all, is a deeply quixotic
venture to begin with. The company and
its founders want to mine asteroids for
precious metals. Theyre trying to grow
hamburgers in labs. They even recently
invested in everlasting life.
With sex, however, comes complications.
Just ask Tiger Woods. Or Boris Johnson.
Or the unfortunately named former New
York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner.
The risk can be especially high if the
woman in question stands to lose more
from the relationship ending than she
does from going public as happened
with Weiners ex-sexting partner Sydney
Leathers, who launched a porn career
based on her infamy, inicting fatal damage
to Weiners poll numbers.
Being a mistress has denitely become
a business, says Gina Rodriguez, a Los
Angeles-based agent for spurned lovers,
including one of Woods former girlfriends
and the aforementioned Leathers. Women
are smarter these days. Theyre videotaping
sex, recording phone calls, taking photos
with their smartphones, saving voicemails
and texts and even hotel-room keys.
Anything to document the affair and how
long it went [on for]. The women have the
option to go to the media, where any proof
they have compiled can be worth quite a bit
of money and be the start of a new career.
But what if a moguls girlfriends sign
non-disclosure contracts?
They mean nothing, because really theyre
just another piece of evidence of the affair,
shrugs Rodriguez.
If the Schmidts really do have an open
marriage, of course, they may see no harm
in any further revelations along the lines
of Bohners blog. Any efforts at suppression,
however, are likely to be viewed as
hypocrisy from a man who says he believes
in a radically more open society which in
turn could prove to be a distraction from
Googles ever-expanding operations.
Whats more: because Schmidts business
adversaries include media owners who
have long regarded Googles content
aggregation business model as
fundamentally parasitic any girlfriends
out there will almost certainly be found.
This surely wouldnt be good news for
someone who is still essentially an employee
of Google, serving at the pleasure of the
controlling shareholders ie, Brin and Page.
A divorce, on the other hand, could put
an end to all such problems, although with
Schmidt having been married to the same
woman for three decades, it could also break
all nancial records. If current estimates are
accurate, half of everything would amount
to 2.5bn.
And that, even for the man who runs
Google, is a Schmidt load of cash.
Chris Ayres is the author of War Reporting
For Cowards and Death By Leisure. Follow
him on Twitter at @ayreslive
Anchorman, Too: Meeting Jimmy Kimmel
(Chris Ayres, June 2013)
Hollywood Hold Em
(Chris Ayres, December 2011)
Zoe Saldana: Out Of This World
(Chris Ayres, August 2010)
MORE
FROM GQ
For these related stories,
visitGQ.co.uk/magazine
S
He becomes
infatuated with
people, and hes
sopowerful and
wealthy, hecan just
make it happen
Journalist Jason Parsley
Hot list: The screen grab that Valley Wag
claimed to be from Schmidts Instagram
The president
High yer: Schmidt with Barack Obama at
a US meeting of business leaders, 2009
84
THE HOME OF FOOTBALL
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G JANUARY 2014 90
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Solar style:
BobbyAbley and
Fashion Easts
autumn/winter 13
collaboration
Astro Abley,
withsetdesign by
Thomas Petherick
London is the place where
modern menswear began the
three-piece suit, rst sported
by Charles II in the 17th century
and latterly perfected by Savile
Row, is an enduring symbol
of quintessentially British
masculine sartorial perfection.
London is also a 21st-century
centre of excellence in fashion
design, an incubator of
innovation. So I dont know
why the explosion of London
fashion talent over the past half
decade has knocked us all for six.
Its been brewing for quite some
time, but the force of this new
wave is tidal.
Many of the press have
painted it as Us versus Them,
pitting fuddy-duddy suiting
against the latest generation
of sportswear-focused
designers. But it isnt so black
and white: the knit-wits at
Sibling create new takes on
traditional sweater dressing
and Craig Green reinvents
masculinity itself.
The 21st-century wave of
London menswear talents are
aware of the rules. They dont
want to break them, so much
as twist them into new and
exciting forms. The collective
noun for a group of tailors is
a disguisery but it can
be readily applied to those
new radicals of modern
menswear too.
As the fourth
London
Collections: Men
nears, British
menswear has
never been in
better shape,
withemerging
talents innovating
and inspiring the
world over. Tokick
off the capitals
fashion fixture,
GQ puts its young
stars to the test
BY ALEXANDER FURY
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SIBLING
Colourful, well-made, luxury
knitwearfor a man bored with
thegrey V-neck option
DESIGNERS: SID BRYAN, JOE BATES
AND COZETTE MCCREERY
What was the rst item
ofclothing you made?
Cozette:As Sibling, a rams
head sweater out of Merino
wool, where the horns became
the arms.
Whats the best piece of advice
you have ever been given?
Cozette: That the name Sibling
could never work in Asia. We
ignored this, stuck to our guns,
called ourselves Sibling and sold
the rst collection exclusively to
Beams, Japan. It taught us that
we should always think with our
guts when it comes to the brand.
Where were you ten years ago?
Sid: In a freezing-cold leaking
shack in Streatham working
on show pieces for Lanvin.
Joe: At a naff afterparty during
London Fashion Week meeting
my future husband [Sid].
Cozette: Working for Bella
Freud in the day and sitting
for her father at night.
Who is your menswear icon?
Sid: Our very good friend
Yacine Challal.
Joe: Pee-wee Herman.
Cozette: Stylist Matthew
Josephs who is here with me and
is wearing Prada oxblood-red
trousers and creepers, a leopard
shirt and a hand-bleached Pepe
denim jacket. And hes not
making me type this, honestly.
What is on your mood board
this season?
Sid: Irish travellers, John
Bulmers The North, coal blacks,
tufts of wool.
What is your signature piece?
Sid: A giant hand-knit covered
in snaking manipulated cables.
Or a graphic crew. Some sparkle.
If you could invent a robot to
do one thing and do it well,
what would it do?
Sid:Production. If we could
hand that over to a robot wed
be ever so grateful.
Bricks and mortar or
e-commerce whats the
futurefor you?
Sid: Bricks and mortar! Sibling is
meant to be touched. Everyone
remarks on the hand-feel
and thats not something you
get on e-commerce, is it?

CRAIG GREEN
Uncompromising masculinity,
utilitarian fabrics and a DIY aesthetic
DESIGNER: CRAIG GREEN
What was the rst item of
clothing you made? A dress
made of silver gaffer tape.
Never compromise.
I was 17, so probably in a park
drinking White Lightning.
Never really had one.
What do you nd most
challenging about designing
menswear? The business and
logistical side of things are
the most challenging, rather
than the designing.
What is on your mood board
this season? Never really had
a mood board, but this season
Jonathan
Saunders
autumn/winter 13
is denitely a lot darker in feel
than the last.
I guess at the moment its
boxy oversized cuts and large
sculptural pieces.
e-commerce whats the future
for you? It seems inevitable to
become e-commerce, but there is
a part of the experience lost
without a real shop. I prefer
things to be tangible and hope
things dont become too virtual.
MEADHAM KIRCHHOFF
Exquisitely crafted, romantic,
fearlessand androgynous
DESIGNERS: EDWARD MEADHAM
AND BENJAMIN KIRCHHOFF
How do you feel when you are
wearing a suit?
Benjamin: As much as I like the
idea of a suit, it lls me with
dread; a suit is something that
is, or rather should be, so very
personal. I do wear jackets that
are smart enough but they
serve the same purpose as
a cardigan to me.
In London. Just graduated from
CSM, trying to gure it out.
what would it do? Reassure
me that it will be OK.
As your brand grows, what
willyou never stop doing?
Worrying.
What unites your following?
I am yet to nd out.
you have ever been given? Two
actually: Nice is the little sister
of shit and Nothing will cost
you more than what is given
to you for free.
I dont believe in icons or muses.
Sibling spring/summer 14
92
www.baume-et-mercier.co.uk
Martin&Co CHELTENHAM - Wempe LONDON Weir&Sons DUBLIN - Owen&Robinson LEEDS
Preston&Duckworth GUILDFORD - Laings GLASGOW - Laings EDINBURGH
Rox NEWCASTLE Chisholm Hunter ABERDEEN
JANUARY 2014 G XX
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Richard Nicoll
autumn/winter 13
Given the opportunity,
which historical gure would
you dress? Quentin Crisp.
for you? I dont know I dont
want to know.
MARQUESALMEIDA
A relaxed, deconstructed,
efortlessaesthetic
DESIGNERS: MARTA MARQUES
AND PAULO ALMEIDA
ofclothing you made?
Marta: Proper item of clothing?
Probably a shirt dress for
my sister.
RICHARD
NICOLL
Dandyish sportswear
DESIGNER:
RICHARD NICOLL
Paulo: A kids shirt in my sewing
classes on the BA course.
Marta: Be true to yourself.
Marta: High school.
Marta: I dont think we have
one; were just obsessed with
real people we see on the streets
and our friends...
What do you nd most
challenging about
designingmenswear?
Marta: We didnt nd it too
challenging because we thought
of it as unisex and an extension
of our womenswear.
Marta: An oversized denim
T-shirt.
If you could invent a robot
todo one thing and do it
well,what would it do?
Marta:Production, management
and accountancy!
e-commerce whats the
futurefor you?
Marta: I think e-commerce
denitely has the potential to be
the future for us, lets hope so!
How do you feel when you
arewearing a suit?
Paulo: I havent worn a suit
a single time yet!
Marta: Researching, designing
and having fun with it!
Marta: Love for the Nineties
and the noughties, the passion
to dress effortlessly, in a cool
and slightly deant way.
JONATHAN SAUNDERS
Graded colour palettes,
acleansilhouette and
innovativefabrictechnology
DESIGNER: JONATHAN SAUNDERS
arewearing a suit? Posh.
If you could invent a robot
todo one thing and do it
well,what would it do?
Give unbiased advice.
Changing.
Colour.
Meadham Kirchhof
autumn/winter 13
How do you feel when
you are wearing a
suit? I feel strong
and empowered but I
normally add a feminine
touch to it like a
neckerchief or a brooch
so it doesnt look too
cheesy and impersonal.
Where were you ten
years ago? I was having
a riot in London.
If you could invent a
robot to do one thing
and do it well, what
would it do? Take me
for a run.
As your brand grows
what will you never
stopdoing? Caring.
What unites your
following? An easy,
modern elegance.
Whats the best piece
of advice you have
ever been given? Its
not exactly advice but
a good sentiment to
remember is Happiness
is not the destination
butthe attitude which
you choose to adopt
onthe journey.
Who is your menswear
icon? Nick Cave,
Morrissey... it goes on.
which historical gure
would you dress?
DavidBowie.
e-commerce whats
the future for you?
Bothhopefully.
of clothing you made?
A straitjacket (ona
foundation course).
What do you nd
mostchallenging about
designing menswear?
Keeping the prices
reasonable.
What is on your mood
board this coming
season? Robert
Mapplethorpe and
GarryWinogrand.
What is your
signaturepiece?
Thebomber jacket.
G JANUARY 2014
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BOBBY ABLEY
Light-hearted, fantasy-inspired
Disney sportswear
DESIGNER: BOBBY ABLEY
arewearing a suit? I cant
actually remember the last time
I wore one, but Im sure I felt...
really uncomfortable!
Oh gosh, I will have been in
Scarborough. Probably smoking
cigarettes and getting up to
no good.
what would it do? Id want it
to live my life for me... ha ha
joking I think to bring me
a perfect cup of coffee in
the morning... the simple
things matter.
As your brand grows, what will
you never stop doing? Going
to Disneyland. Obviously!
I think its my childlike
referencing, it keeps us all
smiling because its things we
can all relate to in some way.
Youre really talented so
shut up and get on with it.
James Deans Rebel Without A
Cause look was really simple
and strong, so him I guess.
Given the opportunity, which
historical gure would you
dress? Dressing Queen
Victoria would be kinda
funny and amazing!
for you? I like to keep an open
mind about the future. But
bricks and mortar for me, I think.
CHRISTOPHER
SHANNON
A contemporary take on
sportswear with vibrant
palette and more than
anod to Northern Soul
DESIGNER:
CHRISTOPHER SHANNON
How do you feel when
you are wearing a suit?
Anxious as it means Im
going to something I
dont want to. I have a
few nice suits, a Margaret
Howell one and a Comme
des Garons one.
Where were you ten
years ago? I was working
for Kylie Minogue, oddly.
So packing suitcases full
of Balenciaga and ying
around the world doing
diferent TV shows.
If you could invent a
robot to do one thing
and do it well, what
would it do? Carry me
tothe gym and make me
work out. And hoover
the stairs.
As your brand grows,
what will you never stop
doing? Being exhausted.
What unites your
following? Seems
to bequite a mixed
bunch. I would like to
think thatthey arent
mindlessfollowers.
Whats the best piece
of advice you have
everbeen given?
Alwayswork with
peopleyou know
arebetter than you.
Who is your menswear
icon? Helmut Lang or
Martin Margiela, from
adesign perspective.
which historical gure
would you dress? Would
be nice to see Picasso
in some oldworn-out
Kidda trackpants.
e-commerce whats
the future for you? Id
like some bricks and
mortar to myself, in the
south of France. We are
working on our online
store right now so thats
on the cards for the
beginning of 2014.
Alexander Fury is the fashion
editor of the Independent,
the Independent On
Sundayand i
Christopher
Shannon spring/
summer 14
NASIR MAZHAR
Rebellious streetwear aesthetic
witha boundless, youthful appeal
DESIGNER: NASIR MAZHAR
Have you ever worn a suit? No.
I had just moved into my rst
studio in Hackney Wick and I
was assisting Samantha Hillerby.
Whats the end goal for your
label? Do you aspire to world
domination? Its just one long
journey with endless goals.
As your brand grows what
My thing.
Nasir Mazhar autumn/winter 13
Bobby Abley spring/summer/14
96

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JANUARY 2014 G 101
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PORTFOLIO
At the pinnacle of professional sport, there resides an elite
group ofathletes who are united by two things: success and style.
From McLarens racing duo of Jenson Button and Sergio Prez,
through to solo sailor Alex Thomson and Germanys star striker
Mario Gmez, GQ meets four sportsmen who look as good when
they arent competing as they do on the track, on the ocean or
on the pitch... with a little help from photographer David Bailey
and champion fashion house Hugo Boss, of course
Interviews by Paul Henderson
Suit, 550. Shirt 99. Tie, 85. All by Boss.
hugoboss.com
Mario Gmez
Age: 28 Sport: Football
Team: Fiorentina
Last summer, German
striker Mario Gmez did
the unthinkable and chose
to leave the best team in
the world. Aged just 28
and having scored 75
goals for Bayern Munich
infour successful seasons,
culminating with the
Bundesliga side winning
the treble with victory in
the Champions League,
Gmez surprised everyone
by signing for Italian club
Fiorentina. Madness? Not
according to Gmez.
I want to play football
at a high level for at least
four more years, he says.
Playing regularly was not
a given at Bayern.
Playing regularly is vital
for any player, but never
more so than in a World
Cup year. With Rio just
over six months away,
Gmez is determined to
book a place in one of the
strongest German squads
for years. He names hosts
Brazil as a favourite, but
also thinks Europe will be
well represented by Spain
and Italy. And England?
Your squad is a
goodmix of young and
dynamic. I know England
did not run away with
their qualifying group, but
they have the quality to
achieve a great result.
He does, however, have
bad news for the likes of
Chelsea, Arsenal and
Manchester United, who
he says have almost no
chance of stopping his
oldteam repeating this
years Champions League
success. To beat Bayern,
you would need to play
aperfect match, where
everything works and
every player has their best
game, he says, before
adding with a smile, Even
if that happens, it will be
difcult to beat Bayern.
FOLIO PORTFOLIO
Suit, 1,500. Shirt,
250. Tie, 150. Pocket
square, 60. All by
Boss. hugoboss.com
Jenson Button has always
hated the playboy tag.
OK, he has a model
girlfriend (Jessica
Michibata), lives in
Monaco and drives a
supercar (the McLaren
MP4-12C) to the shops,
but you dont get to win
aFormula One World
Championship unless you
take your sport seriously.
Not that there have
been many opportunities
to celebrate this season.
Having struggled for
much of the year, neither
Button nor his team-mate
Sergio Prez have had
even a snif of celebratory
champagne. Button,
though, remains upbeat.
Its been hard because
we dont have the pace to
ght the others on equal
terms, but Ive got the
most from the car.
His positive attitude is
unsurprising when you
consider that just ve
years ago, when Honda
suddenly withdrew from
the sport, Button faced
the prospect of no longer
being part of an F1 team.
Then, from the ashes,
thenew Brawn GP team
emerged and gave him
aWorld Championship-
winning car in 2009.
Thefollowing year he
joined McLaren and hes
suggested he would
liketo remain at the
Woking-based team for
the rest of his career.
Not, he adds quickly,
that he plans to retire any
time soon. I have more
to give the sport, he
says. Im still contributing
to the team and Im still
motivated to get on a
plane and y to the next
grand prix.
He also has one more
ambition to full: to try
and do a decent lap of the
Top Gear track. To be fair
it was snowing last time I
was there, so I denitely
want another crack!
Jenson Button
Age: 33 Sport: Formula One
Team: Vodafone McLaren Mercedes
G JANUARY 2014
Sergio Prez
Age: 23 Sport: Formula One
Team: Vodafone McLaren Mercedes
All Mexican driver
Sergio Prez wants for
Christmas is another
chance to prove himself
in Formula One. Which
is just as well, because
the 23-year-old
shouldnt expect much
in the way of cards or
presents from his fellow
drivers. In his rst
difcult season with the
British GP team, Prezs
driving has got him
onthe wrong side of
NicoRosberg, Lewis
Hamilton, Fernando
Alonso, and even his
McLaren team-mate
Jenson Button. Prez,
however, has been
unperturbed by all the
criticism. His only aim,
he says, is to do well
forhis team.
Were not in F1 to
make friends, he
says,deantly.
For Prez, organising
PlayStation parties with
the other drivers has
been the least of his
problems this year.
WithMcLaren having
struggled to match the
pace of their main rivals,
the team nds itself
without even a podium
nish and with Prez
unable to keep up with
his British counterpart,
some commentators
suggested the Mexican
may not have the
stomach for the ght.
A fth-place nish at
the Indian Grand Prix
proved a lot of critics
wrong, but Prez is
realistic about his
achievements in 2013.
Its been a tough year,
he admits. When
youjoin a team like
McLaren, you have
highexpectations. But
sometimes things dont
quite come together.
Given the chance next
season, Prez will be
pushing even harder.
And if he gets a better
car, his rivals might
haveeven more to
complain about.
Jumper, 350. T-shirt,
105. Both by Boss
McLaren Collection.
hugoboss.com
104
FOLIO PORTFOLIO
When solo ofshore sailor
Alex Thomson arrived in
Les Sables-dOlonne,
France, on 30 January
2013 to become only
thethird Briton to achieve
a podium nish in the
Vende Globe race, he
had been alone at sea for
80 days. Sleep deprived,
physically and mentally
exhausted, and desperate
to see his wife and young
son, the Welsh-born
sailor celebrated with
acheeseburger. I had
been dreaming of the
golden arches, he says.
Not that hed had
muchchance to dream.
During his epic journey,
sleep was one of the many
luxuries Thomson had to
forego. After sleeping
20minutes every two to
four hours, you are not at
your strongest when you
face the storms, massive
waves and icebergs of
theSouthern Ocean. It
isphysically the toughest
and often the scariest
point of the race.
He believes he is a
better sailor now thanks
to having become a
father. My attitude to the
sport has become about
balancing performance
with risk. Before, I
wasmore focused on
performance, but to win
the Vende Globe you
need to nish it.
My goal is to win,
Thomson continues.
Thatis what I aim to
dowhen Igo back to
thestart in Les Sables-
dOlonne in November
2016. I want to be the
rst Briton to stand at the
top of the podium.
Suit, 1,500. Shirt
250. Tie, 150.
Pocket square,
50. All by Boss.
hugoboss.com
Alex Thomson
Age: 39 Sport: Imoca 60 class sailing
Team: Hugo Boss
Baileys Stardust is at the
National Portrait Gallery
from 6 February to 1 June
2014. npg.org.uk
A
t the last count, British GQ had
won 45 publishing awards. Which
means, subtracting the online
accolades, the occasional diversion
and one or two late-night disasters en route,
British GQ has repaired to Annabels on
Londons Berkeley Square to celebrate
approximately 40 times.
Why Annabels? Because, quite simply,
theres nowhere quite like it. Nowhere else in
London; certainly nowhere else in the world.
The late-night love child of Mark Birley,
who launched it with the swingiest of
Swinging London parties in the summer of
1963, Annabels (named after his then wife,
later Lady Annabel Goldsmith) represents
the moment pop culture invaded the prewar
catacombs of Londons clubland.
Suddenly, a renovated basement in Mayfair
throbbed with the combined combustibility
of Hollywood hotshots and old-money
scene-makers, all hopped up on good
champagne, great food and a discotheque
that united the generations like no other.
Birley went on to launch three more
members clubs (all, wisely, without dance
oors) before selling them to their present
owner, Richard Caring in 2007. And yet
Annabels remains the top of the pile:
a supper club where almost anything goes,
making it the de facto destination for
party-goers and
-givers alike.
In fact, with a
private dining room
lined oor to ceiling
with bottles from its
own impressive cellars
across the road, and
the more recent
addition of a very
21st-century smoking
terrace, Annabels remains perhaps the only
full-service nightclub that doesnt mind
how anyone lets their hair down, provided,
of course, that they are members and the
gentlemen wear jackets.
Mark Birley passed away in 2007, since
when Annabels has become a hotbed of
A-list talent once again, thanks to Charles
Finchs annual pre-Baftas party and, last
June, a dinner co-hosted by GQ, the British
Fashion Council and Tracey Emin to celebrate
the third season of London Collections: Men.
He might not recognise all the crowd, but
Birley would certainly recognise the energy,
the elegance and the excitement. Bill Prince
Sir Philip
Green and
Marigay
McKee at
the LC:M
party, 2013
Oh, what a night...
Tom Ford, Colin Firth, Jeanne Marine and
Simon le Bon at the pre-Bafta party, 2010
Anna Wintour and
Jonathan Newhouse,
2006; David Gandy,
2013 (below left)
G JANUARY 2014
Kate Moss at Lady
GaGas party, 2011
Bryan Ferry, 2011
Other nightclubs have come and gone, but since opening its doors 50 years ago,
Annabels has remained Londons gold-plated, subterranean social hub to beat
106
JANUARY 2014 G
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Pierce Brosnan
at the pre-Bafta
party, 2006
Countess Maya von
Schoenburg, Arnaud
Bamberger and the Duchess
of Marlborough, 2001
Penlope Cruz
at the pre-Bafta
party, 2009
Kevin Spacey and
Jef Goldblum at an
auction in aid of
the Old Vic, 2008
Sir Michael Caine at
Heather Kerzners 40th
birthday party, 2010
Jemima Khan
and Kate
Moss kiss for
charity, 2006
Tracey Emin
and Ed
Vaizey at
the London
Collections:
Men party,
2013
Francesca Thyssen and Jerry Hall,
1987 (above); Mickey Rourke; 2009
(below); Sophie Dahl, 2007 (right)
Charles
Finch and
Sienna Miller
at the
pre-Bafta
party, 2007
Harvey Weinstein
and Georgina
Chapman, 2007
Jeremy Irons, 1983
Sir Mick Jagger and
LWren Scott, 2009
107
Saving face: Does
Jefrey Bezos have
the know-how to
reverse the fortunes
of his newest
purchase afailing
US newspaper?
MICHAEL WOLFF
JANUARY 2014 G
In August 2013,
Amazonfounder and
CEO Jefrey Bezos
bought the Washington
Post the newspaper
that revealed the
Watergate scandal
in1972 for $250m.
Ifbusiness success is
about control, will the
man who dominates our
digital life be able to
inuence US politics?
BY MI CHAEL WOL F F
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Over the summer, Jeffrey Bezos, the Amazon
founder, CEO and chairman, and billionaire
almost 30 times over, announced he was
buying the Washington Post, traditionally
the second-most important paper in the US,
and, one might have argued, the world, behind
only the New York Times.
In fact, that traditional position of stature
and authority has not really been the case for
some time. The Post, home of Bob Woodward
and Carl Bernstein, the heroes of Watergate;
and Ben Bradlee, among the most famous
and glamorous newspaper editors in history;
and Katharine Graham, the most mytholo-
gised proprietor, had been losing vast sums
of money for the better part of a decade. Its
newsroom had been cut by half. And its con-
trolling shareholders, the Graham family, have
more and more been riven by blame over the
Posts fall. Donald, son of Katharine, and the
longtime chairman, was beloved but above
the fray; his niece, Katharine Weymouth
daughter of his sister Lally, famous socialite
and eccentric was the papers ranking exec-
utive and, by all accounts, out of her depth.
For Graham, selling the family legacy, and this
American icon, was easier than ghting with
his family and certainly easier than digging
the paper out of its hole.
Bezos, in something of an act of goodwill and
charity, agreed to pay $250m (156m) from
ts a new condition
in the media business.
A syndrome. A form
of hysteria. Maybe
even a short-term
psychosis. Its called
Bezosmania:
the irrational hope
that someone more
knowing than the
current executives
and managers in the
media business will,
in deus ex machina
fashion, transform
your obsolete medium
and save your job.
Go with the ow:
Amazon founder
Jefrey Bezos leaves
the ofces of the
Washington Post
with newspaper
publisher Katharine
Weymouth on
4 September 2013
JANUARY 2014 G
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Of all the people who might buy your newspaper from Rupert Murdoch to the
billionaire who wants a plaything Jefrey Bezos is likely to change it the most
Stop press:
On 6 August 2013,
the Washington Posts
electronic ticker board
broadcast that the
newspaper, controlled
by the Graham family
for 80 years, had been
sold for $250m
his own pocket for a paper that, a few years
before, you could not have bought for 20 times
that amount.
Bezos has no experience with newspapers.
He does not live in Washington DC or the
surrounding counties, which make up 90 per
cent of the Posts circulation. And no one at
the Washington Post, or actually anywhere,
has any idea of what ideas he might have
about newspapers, or journalism or media
management (his only expressed editorial
opinion: Dont be boring). Indeed, Bezos
is in the retail business. Actually, he is one
of the reasons big-city newspapers, once a
beneciary of local department stores, are
in extremis. With Amazon at your ngertips,
fewer and fewer people buy local any more.
Still, you take your saviours, and ports in a
storm, as they come.
Ever since the deal was announced, there
has been an almost nonstop outpouring of
slavish encomiums and enthusiasm for the
new Bezos era from Washington Post staffers.
Bezos showed up in the Post newsroom
and said that he respected journalism and
an independent press, and everyone went
bananas with delight. As if any new newspa-
per owner has ever showed up and said any-
thing different.

B
ezos is, after his money and the
vast control he has over so much
of American commercial life, most
famous for his laugh.
There is something wrong with
it. It explodes and barks and grates. And,
more often than not, erupts when things are
not funny.
In the early dotcom years, when Amazon
was merely one among hundreds and hun-
dreds of ideas and business concepts trying to
get noticed, and surely not the most intuitive
an online bookstore Bezos was a ubiqui-
tous gure at the dinners and panels where
entrepreneurs competed for funding.
There was actually a sub-competition
among those entrepreneurs at these many
events and gatherings, the tech beauty
shows: not to have to sit next to Bezos. Of
course, this was some time before it became
apparent that there might be a rather precise
relationship between success in the tech-
nology business and how socially maladroit
you are.
Bezos soon became a prime example of a
new sort of way to see the commercial world,
one where the system was more interest-
ing than the product, and changing how
people behaved (the real revenge of the nerds:
make everybody else behave like one), more
fundamental than selling goods.
Bezos, along with his Seattle neighbour
Bill Gates, and Larry Page and Sergey Brin
at Google, and later having observed
them Steve Jobs with mobile devices, and
Mark Zuckerberg at Facebook, was inventing
the business idea of our time, one as trans-
formative as the assembly line in its day:
the platform.
All success in business is ultimately about
control. Platforms, a system that binds its
users and alters their behaviour and builds
dependency, would be the digital equivalent
of a utility and a family.
Such an abstract undertaking turned out
to be quite concrete. With the fountain of
no-questions-asked money available in the
Nineties, he began to sell books for less than
anybody else was selling them, and getting
them to you with a greater convenience than
anybody else could offer.
Losing money on everything you sold was,
not surprisingly, retail magic.
Indeed, so responsive was this platform his
abstraction that it began to seem real, and
it soon, in the minds eye, became an actual
place. Ill just go to Amazon.
Then he extended this illusion to selling
MICHAEL WOLFF
111
Forza Motorsport 5 is a cinematic automotive
journey, starring the worlds greatest cars
and tracks. Built from the ground up to
take advantage of Xbox One and the
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delivers the wide-eyed thrill of racing.
Out Now
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JANUARY 2014 G
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MICHAEL WOLFF

everything else. His patented 1-Click
procedure helped give him a captive custom-
er base, which, as he had predicted, gave him
the leverage with suppliers and customers to
produce a prot greater than his losses.
And then he became not just a book mid-
dleman, and appliance retailer, and fashion
house, but, in effect, one of the largest content
distributors in the world.
And then, underneath the Amazon plat-
form, he built a mobile platform. Obviously,
long ago, he was seeing the perfectly natural
segue of actual books into digital form. A step
that only needed a device, his Kindle.
In one of the greatest jiujitsu moves perhaps
in business history, he monopolised the e-book
market by underpricing his product. This
was, of course, to the consternation of his
suppliers ie, traditional publishers who,
eventually, saw the dangers of his evermore-
dominant position in the market funnel. They
then, resolving to stand rm in front of the
Goliath, found themselves judged guilty of
monopoly practices.
Not far behind e-books came a Niagara of
video, making Amazon (along with Netix) the
fastest-growing distributor of movies and tel-
evision programming, threatening the enter-
tainment industry, too, with obsolescence.
And, in parallel, came an army of servers
more computing storage than has ever existed
under one owner effectively creating, and
Bezos effectively controlling, the space which
holds our digital lives. The cloud.
T
he pathos of newspapers is obvious.
Bezos appearance in the Post news-
room, and the sucking up to him,
makes the pathos seem even sadder
and crueller.
The Post cannot support itself. There is
no iteration of its current advertising and
paid circulation model that can support it,
even in its much reduced form. The inu-
ence it once had on Capitol Hill, in the White
House, and for the nation and world, is ever
more reduced.
You are a holdover if you work at the Post.
And a doomed one.
And even though Bezos is a totally bizarre
alien, you really have nothing to lose by trust-
ing him.
On the other hand, of all the people who
might buy your newspaper from Rupert
Murdoch to the ordinary billionaire who wants
a new plaything Bezos is likely to change it
the most.
All other possible owners just represent the
age-old push-pull of a proprietors desires and
interests in certain opposition to the news-
rooms dreams of independence.
But all other possible owners, as odious as
they might be, would still regard themselves
as having bought a newspaper, and of it nec-
essarily remaining a newspaper. For what else
could it be?
And, certainly, there are many
at the Post who are simply hoping
Bezos is an ego owner, trying to
buy himself some personal gloss,
and, perhaps, looking to influ-
ence Washington, not incidentally
as various retro interests try
to enforce a sales tax on digital
purchases.
In one view, Bezos represents
just a happy reset. The Graham family would
have been forever under the cloud of having
lost billions in value. All Bezos has to do to
have a success is to make the most important
newspaper in the most important city in the
world worth more than $250m. And how hard
can that be, really?
But there is another faction at the Post
almost guilty of hoping that Bezos might have
another idea.
True, most newspaper people have as much
comprehension of the Bezos business reach
and efciency as cowhands have about the
nature of scale in the agribusiness. And yet
there are more and more eager efforts among
Post people to characterise the positive nature
of the Bezos world-view, an effort to talk the
new talk, however lamely:
He is a major content distributor, after all...
He owns the cloud...
He likes to play in verticals...
Hes set up for micro-transactions...
Hes all la carte... (Pay no attention to the
fact that Bezos has also said the Post should be
a daily ritual bundle.)
The simple feeling for many at the
Washington Post is, curiously, do with me
what you will. Resistance is broken. Its a
sense that everybody is going to die anyway
yes, how could you think otherwise? The
Post is dead. Being a newspaper employee
is... being a ghost.
Life as it has been is over. Fini. But trans-
formation is yet possible, isnt it? Why would
Jeffrey Bezos have bought the Post if not
because he was thinking in some way that
newspaper people cannot pretend to under-
stand? Some marvellous way, perhaps.
The future is unknown. But some people at
the Post feel, against all the odds, that they
might actually make it into it.
Cue the demented laugh.
The New Empires State Of Mind
(Michael Wolf, June 2013)
Why Facebook Graph And Vine Wont Save
SocialMedia (Michael Wolf, GQ.co.uk, February 2013)
Shell Huf And Shell Puf...!
(Michael Wolf, June 2011)
MORE
FROM GQ
Paper trail (from left): Jefrey Bezos
unveilsthe Kindle DX,part-aimed
at newspaper readers, in May 2009;
in 1972, an investigation by Washington
Post reporters Bob Woodward and
CarlBernstein led tothe resignation
of US president Richard Nixon; the story
was made into the Oscar-nominated
1976 lm All The Presidents Men
113
THE EVERYDAY ATHLETE
JDPRO.CO.UK
JANUARY 2014 G
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J A N U A R Y
STYLE SHRINK + ZANONE + GRAFF + DOLCE & GABBANA + LUKE EVANS
From left: Bag,
825. Tote, 695.
Tote, 825. All by
Coach + Billy
Reid. coach.com
FROM humble beginnings making wallets in the shadow
of the Empire State Building during the Second World
War, Coach has grown into one of the USs most famous
fashion brands, selling leather goods and beyond from
Beijing to Birmingham, Alabama as well as, of course,
Bond Street, London.
The new creative director at this all-American
powerhouse is Stuart Vevers, the Yorkshire-born
designer who has one of the best accessories CVs in
thebusiness, including stints as creative director of
Mulberry and the Spanish luxury leather label Loewe.
But, apart from keeping a close eye on Vevers
progress, our interest in Coach lies back in Alabama,
because it is the small city of Florence on the banks
ofthe Tennessee River that Billy Reid now calls home.
Thisdesigner has been described as creating classic
American workwear that is all about low- Southern-
bred luxury that has proved as big a hit in London and
New York as it is in Nashville.
Reid won a Coach-sponsored competition in 2010
andthe brand has kept a close eye on him ever since.
With his Southern roots and unique outlook, Billy brings
a breath of fresh air to fashion, says Jefrey Uhl, senior
vice president of mens design at Coach.
And now Coach has called him in for a collaboration
tocreate a limited-edition series of mens bags and
smallleather goods that are already on our wish list.
Thisincludes some very desirable man-size, pumped-up
totes in materials such as pebbled leather, rugged suede
and Southern alligator, plus special accessories including
alligator-wrapped asks. Perfect for when you want to
serve up a drink and make it snappy. RJ coach.com
Coach: get
on board
119
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+ADVICE
Style
Shrnk
By Robert Johnston
To fur, with love;
going loopy for
adaptable satchels;
the top socks to
team with winter
boots; and the
essential waistcoat
rules to avoid
shades of Mr Toad
Parka by Woolrich,
729. uk.woolrich.eu
Umbrella by Agi & Sam, 140. At London
Undercover. londonundercover.co.uk.
Briefcaseby Dunhill, 565. dunhill.co.uk
I already have a fairly cheap
(150) faux-furhooded padded
coat, but I want to push the boat
out and nd a winter coat with a
real fur hood or real fur feature
foraround 1,000.
GR, via email
I love a bit of fur myself, but
before I start to be threatened with
the sack (or violence) by members of
Peta, I will stress that I do insist on it
being responsibly sourced. Coyotes
are vermin in Canadian cities (much
like urban foxes in this country) and
have to be culled before they tear all
the puppies and kittens limb from
limb (seriously). The pesky critters
are humanely trapped, so I think it is
only environmental common sense
to use the fur. In addition, coyote fur
has remarkable properties and the
fur trim around a hood works to
disrupt airow and create turbulent,
warmer air around the face, which
can protect you from frostbite far
more efectively than any faux fur
can. Canada Goose (canada-goose.
com) comes from Toronto, where
they know a little bit about the cold,
and does the brilliant down-lled PBI
Expedition parka with detachable
coyote trim (it was developed for use
by research scientists in Antarctica,
so the problem may be being too
warm). At the other end of the scale
there is Woolrichs slim-t Arctic
Parka lled with duck down and
withcoyote-fur trim (uk.woolrich.uk).
I particularly like the one in white, so,
like an Arctic hare, you can blend
into the Bafn Island snow and
hopefully escape the attention of
anypassing polar bears.
Waistcoat by Zanone,
185. At Shopstyle.
shopstyle.co.uk
I recently noticed a well-dressed gentleman
carrying what seemed to be a satchel-type
leather briefcase with an umbrella attached via
some very neat leather loops, but I cant seem
tond one that suits. Can you help?
Name and address supplied
I do love a challenge. But not that much, so I
set our very glamorous assistant Annabelle on to
this one and sat back and waited for her to do all
the work. And although she is like a terrier with a
bone when it comes to tackling conundrums she
only managed to come up with one bag that was
bang on the buck. It comes from the e-commerce
site S Buckinghams (sbuckinghams.com) and is
theTuscany leather Venezia brown 15-inch
laptop-cum-briefcase and actually I rather like it,
ina Euro-businessman way. Indeed, this is typically
anItalian style and the indomitable Annabelle
discovered a Florentine leather-goods company
called Old Angler (oldangler.com) that also
supplies an umbrella-friendly case that ts the
briefperfectly. We found that Dunhill (dunhill.
co.uk) used to dosomething similar, but it since
discontinued the model. However, as this great
British brand has a bespoke service it would be
possible to re-create or indeed you could have
theumbrella straps tted to an existing model. If
you are looking for aparticularly ne umbrella to
complement the case,I would suggest taking a
look at London Undercover (londonundercover.
co.uk). The range is brilliant and I love the
collaboration with Agi & Sam one of GQs
favourite design duos. My personal favourite is
theCheck Mate design for 140.
I was recently
wearing a teal-coloured
gilet with a pair of
mustard cords, both
ofwhich I love, but
worn together I realised
I was beginning to veer
into Mr Toad territory.
Ifear James may be in
danger of this, too, if
he wears non-matching
waistcoats with a suit,
so my advice would
bea three-piece or
nothing. It is a bit like
wearing a V-neck with
a suit. You can get
away with it, but it
canlook a little, well,
mummys boy as if
you are a delicate
littleower worried
about catching a
chill.However, the
good news is that I
thoroughly approve of
twinning a waistcoat
with a sports jacket.
Indeed, I think it is a
great winter look for
the ofce and far more
practical than a suit
when the weather is
vile. Think along cool
country lines (more
Fantastic Mr Fox than
poor old Toady) and
team an eye-catching
waistcoat with a knitted
tie Charvet is always
my rst stop for this
style (at Selfridges.
selfridges.com) and
Iam also impressed
byReiss Cutler range
(reiss.com). Then go
fora pair of moleskin
trousers. Incotex, in
myopinion, does the
best in the world, but
otherwise Hackett does
a really good pair, too.
LETTER OF THE MONTH
Can you wear a non-matching waistcoat
with a suit? James Lewis, via email
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LUXURY+
JANUARY 2014 G
GQ LUXURY
The cuts director
Brent Pankhursts speakeasy barbershop is surely Londons most
masculine retreat. Nick Foulkes puts his hairstyle in the masters hands
The author of our Letter Of The Month
will receive a stylish black and rhodium
Townsend fountain pen worth 190
from Cross. Cross is the maker of
quality writing instruments and
has a range of distinctive lifestyle
accessories. www.cross.com
Submit your questions to our style
guru: styleshrink@condenast.co.uk
Socks by J Crew, 16.55.
jcrew.com. Boots by Grenson,
215. grenson.co.uk
What does a man tend to do
about socks? In the summer I
would usually opt for a pair of
trainer socks, but I am struggling
tond the perfect pair to wear
withmy brown leather Kurt Geiger
brogue boots.
James, Maidstone
One of the pilgrimages I always
make when visiting New York City is
to go down to Tribeca and the corner
of West Broadway and White to
stock up at J Crews genius retail
concept, the Liquor Store. One of
mymust-buys is a pair or two of the
Camp socks in a variety of colours.
These chunky cotton knits are
brilliant with boots in winter and they
last and last. I will admit that Ihave
aslight sock fetish I cant even
close my sock drawer. Particular
favourites for weekends include
theclassic Ralph Lauren Crew socks
(ralphlauren.co.uk) that come in an
astonishing range of colours. I also
have a penchant for novelty hosiery,
such as the plaid andPrince Of
Wales numbers by Japanese label
Beams Plus (at Oi Polloi. oipolloi.
com). For work, I favour German
label Falke (falke.com/gb). I can
particularly recommend the
two-tone Shadow range for a touch
of subtle colour. Arecent revelation,
however, comes from another
German company, Item M6 (item-m6.
com). Theseare a bit like DVT socks
and boast state-of-the-art yarns and
construction that promise to keep
your legs and feet intip-top shape
(and smelling sweet thanks to silver
ions). I wore them on a ight to New
York (to pick up J Crew socks, of
course) and I have to say they did
make a diference.
Spruce almighty: Pankhursts London barbers features GT-spec chairs upholstered by Bentley
BEYOND a certain age, a man should really settle
down with a hairstyle and stick with it. I have a
few embarrassing photographs that show a young
me looking out from under a mop of hair, others
with shoulder-length locks, still more with my
hair piled high and standing on end as if I had
just been given an electric shock.
But after a time, ones relationship with ones
hair changes it can no longer be taken for
granted and it has to stop looking like you are
trying to act the perennial youth. While you may
feel the same inside, a glance in any reective
surface will tell you that, externally, time has
made its mark and if you cant see that then you
need your eyes testing. At that point you need to
put yourself in the hands of a proper barber.
For me, Brent Pankhurst is that man. One of
lifes luxuries is having one less thing to worry
about, and for the past 15 years or so Brent has
relieved me of worry on the score of my hairstyle.
As a result I have followed him slavishly around
Londons West End, rst encountering him at
Adams, the late-Nineties Cool Britannia
barbershop just off Hanover Square. After that he
was at Dunhill on Jermyn Street, where he was
conveniently located just next to the cigar room,
which was followed by Dunhill at Bourdon House.
Then there was a spell underneath Nick Tentis
Savile Row shop before he crossed Regent Street
to set up Pankhurst on Newburgh Street.
His ethos is simple: After your twenties, you
should not have a hairstyle you should have
a haircut that, as well as making you look good,
makes you feel good. As well as being able to
navigate my cranium with a pair of scissors (which
in itself is a feat of great dexterity), Brent has
always been inventive in plugging his business
into the luxury world enjoyed by his clients. He
has come up with a range of stylishly packaged
products and made a series of short lms in
which the men are always perfectly groomed
and the women seem to have been borrowed from
Victorias Secret. As sustained works of cinema
in themselves you would not be unhappy to sit
through a feature-length version.
Now for the rst time he has a building that
is his and he has called in favours from his
extensive client list to help create a hairdressing
experience like no other. If you have ever
wondered what its like to have your hair cut in
a Bentley, then Pankhurst is the place to come
for that experience; it is the only barbershop
I know where the chairs have been upholstered
at the Bentley works in Crewe.
Downstairs there are four GT-spec barbers
chairs in what Bentley evocatively calls reglow
hide. While for his own use he went for what he
calls the daddy of all chairs, built to Mulliner
spec and covered in burnt-oak hide with the
Mulliner workshops signature diamond quilting.
And, unlike in the road-going version of the
Bentley, you can get behind the wheel with a
whisky. Johnnie Walker has created a basement
bar with a speakeasy-type curtained meeting
room. In Brents mind, he wanted the sort of place
where you might have bumped into James Coburn
swapping manly stories with Ernest Hemingway
over a bottle of Gold Label. But it also welcomes
sissies who havent had a drink in years and
whose stock of manly stories is disappointingly
low which is probably why he installed a
Lavazza machine as well.
The place is a refuge; one of those rare
environments where the world seems to stop and
you can snatch a 45-minute respite from life, and
even if, as is likely, your troubles are still there
when you get out, at least you will be facing them
with a better haircut. pankhurstlondon.com
123
LONDONCOL L ECT I ONS . CO. UK
#LCM
TW! TTER. COM/BFC
FCEBOOK. COM/BR! T! SHFSH! ONCOUNC! L
S H OWC AS I N G T H E B E S T
OF B R I T I S H ME N S WE A R
6 - S J ANUARY 2 01 4
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It was on a tour of Grafs
workshops in Mayfair that I
held in my hand a real fortune
a blood-red ruby the size of
the proverbial pigeon egg and
worth, according to my guide,
around 18m. With asleight of
hand I could have swallowed
itand made my getaway.
Another lost opportunity
So not surprisingly when
Graf rst started to make
watches, many of the experts
believed they would merely be
diamond-studded extensions
of the jewellery business.
Butthey have been proved
wrong.Rather, the worlds
most glamorous jeweller
hasconsistently produced
timepieces that possess
realhorological value rather
than merely boasting carats,
becoming particularly
renowned for its super-tin
cases and complications
including the Ultra Flat
Tourbillon launched at
Basellast year.
Unlike giant gems, the new
GrafStar Slim is a masterpiece
of understatement, with
thetrademark Graf faceted
6.35mm-thick case in white
orrose gold, a simple black
dial and alligator strap and
theelegant gold hour markers.
Inside, the Calibre 3 movement
has been developed in
Switzerland exclusively for
Graf. The only nod to bling
isthe signature triangular-
cutemerald at 12 oclock
thoughnaturally Graf ofers
abespokeservice if you cant
live without a little sparkle.
Time is money after all. RJ
grafdiamonds.com
JANUARY 2014 G
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WATCHES+
As a nation, the Italians have always
been mad for watches. So it seems
strange that there are so few quality
Italian watches made these days. With
the exception of Ofcine Panerai, it is
hard to name one brand with an
international reputation. But Domenico
Dolce and Stefano Gabbana want to
change this. The duo launched their
luxury watch range more than a year
ago and recently added to it with the
new DG7+. To be fair this sports watch
is the work of the nest Swiss
watchmakers but then to do otherwise
might seem perverse and the styling is
pure Milanese elegance. It is available
with either a steel bracelet or a black
rubber strap but either way the tempo
is very much set to dolce vita. RJ
dolcegabbanawatches.com
Lean machine
Style in steel
GrafStar Slim 43mm by Graf. grafdiamonds.com
DG7+ in steel by Dolce & Gabbana,
2,520. dolcegabbana.com
125
G JANUARY 2014
Fresh from dodging the ames of Smaug the dragon in The Hobbit, red-hot
Luke Evans keeps himself warm in the pick of this winters greatest coats
Heat of the moment
Coat by Canali, 1,160.
canali.it. Jumper by Prada,
290. prada.com.Jeansby
Acne, 190. acnestudios.com
A double-breasted
greatcoat can
transform knitwear
into ofce wear
Photographs Dean Rogers
Styling Jo Levin
PG WODEHOUSE wrote that there are
six types of hangover, and as Luke Evans
sits in make-up on the set of Dracula
Untold an origins story focusing on
Bram Stokers inspiration, Vlad The Impaler
recovering from the previous nights
excursion into Belfast, he appears to
be suffering from the one Wodehouse
classied as the Broken Compass.
Were in Belfast, I mean Antrim, he
claries, before looking to his make-up
woman for conrmation. No, Belfast.
It should be said, however, the
Welshman has much to celebrate. This
month alone will see him on the big screen
as Bard the Bowman in The Hobbit: The
Desolation Of Smaug and on the small
screen in BBC production The Great Train
Robbery in which he portrays the crimes
mastermind, Bruce Reynolds. Nor has
playing the main villain in the summer
box-ofce winner Fast And Furious 6
harmed his employment prospects.
A lm like that changes things, says
Evans, 34. A f*** of a lot of people saw
it and it made a lot of money.
That lms success has given Evans the
clout to star in an upcoming reworking
of the comic book The Crow, which was
last lmed in 1994 when it led to the
tragic death of its star, Brandon Lee.
Were not looking to trample on the
memory of that lm, he says. But the
writer [James OBarr] is working with
us and hes written new stuff, dealing with
material that he couldnt bring himself to
write at the time.
The part represents another progression
in a lm career that appeared unlikely
until Evans appeared in Peter Gills Small
Change at the Donmar Warehouse in 2008.
Armed with a new agent, Evans has
been making up for lost time ever since,
with roles in The Three Musketeers and
The Raven opposite John Cusack. Unsure
he might be of his current whereabouts,
but Luke Evans certainly appears to
know where hes going. John Naughton
126
PORTFOLIO+
JANUARY 2014 G
Coat, 2,400. Trousers,
300. Both by Corneliani.
corneliani.com. Jumper by
Prada, 290. prada.com
An exaggerated
collar and lapels
makes the military
look more
dramatic
127
G JANUARY 2014
Coat, 3,050. Rollneck, 310.
Both by Gucci. gucci.com
Astrakhan is the
hottest look right
now for full-on
power dressing
128
PORTFOLIO+
JANUARY 2014 G
For a sharper
silhouette, choose
a design that ends
just above the
knee and twin
with slim-cut
trousers
Coat, 1,695. Trousers, 495.
Both by Burberry. burberry.
com. Rollneck by Gucci,
310. gucci.com. Boots by
Diesel, 185. diesel.com
129
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Clockwise from top:
Slim-t chain-link tie,
95. Chestnut-handle
umbrella, 150.
Turnbull & Asser eau
de cologne, 75 for
100ml. Engraved-
bonecollar stays, 40.
Leather card wallet,
165. Leather business-
card holder, 75.
StJames Midlife-Crisis
pocket square, 65.
Slim-t shirt, 155.
Polka-dot bow tie,
45.Reversible
mother-of-pearl
dressstuds, 150.
Pure-cotton socks,
22.Felt braces,90.
CashmereV-neck
jumper, 385.
Bengal-stripe
cottonpyjamas,
195.Cashmere scarf,
175. All available
at Turnbull & Asser.
turnbullandasser.co.uk
G Promotion
JANUARY 2014 G
Edited by Jessica Punter
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kin looking dull, grey and lifeless?
Getting new wrinkles? Sounds like
youve got city skin. It wont shock
you to learn that urban dwellers age
faster than their rural counterparts. The
natural ageing process gets a big push from
our environment, explains top dermatologist
Dr Nicholas Perricone. Air pollution can
wreak havoc on our skin.
Moving to the country is a solution, but
heres another: offset the effects of stressful
lifestyle, pollution and UV exposure with
your skin-care regime. Removing impurities
and boosting antioxidants is the rst line of
defence, says Perricone: Dirt and dust leave
a lm of impurities on the skin. Thorough
cleansing is critical, and topical antioxidants
can help repair damage caused by oxidative
stress [cell damage from free radicals].
Your go-to grooming gadget should be the
O Clarisonic Aria (155. clarisonic.co.uk),
whose cleansing brush deep-cleans six times
more effectively than washing manually, and
lifts hairs for a closer shave. Combine it with
Aesops antioxidant-rich O Parsley Seed Facial
Cleanser (25 for 100ml. aesop.com) for super
grime-busting without stripping the skin.
The right moisturiser will create a physical
barrier between your skin and pollutants,
advises Perricone. Pollution exacerbates UV
damage, so select a moisturiser with an SPF.
O Verso Day Cream SPF15 (85 for 50ml.
At Selfridges. selfridges.com) also contains
Vitamin A to ght wrinkles, plus a nightly
exfoliating treatment, such as O Perricone MD
Blue Plasma (78 for 59ml. perriconemd.co.uk),
renes the skins surface.
The eye area is the most susceptible to the
signs of ageing, so opt for the ultra-protective
O Clinique Superdefense SPF20 Age Defense
Eye Cream (39 for 15ml. clinique.co.uk).
Finally, protect from within by taking a
supplement: O Perricone MD Total Skin and
Body (78 for 30 days. perriconemd.co.uk)
supports healthy skin function with a cocktail
of Omega 3, Vitamin C, Biotin and minerals.
Or you could look for Michael Jacksons old
oxygen tent on eBay: its your call. JP
City-proof your skin with the latest pollution-fighting products
Urban renewal
Civic haul: Dirt and
dust leave impurities
says dermatologist
Dr Nicholas Perricone
133
G JANUARY 2014
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GROOMING
Hot buzz
Electric
toothbrushes and
their associated
paraphernalia
bulky cases
and awkward
charging stands
always seem
like a faf. Philips
has converted us
with the Sonicare
DiamondClean.
With its slim travel
case with built-in
USB charger and
discreet charging
glass, its hi-
tech dental care
madesimple.
Philips Sonicare
DiamondClean
Black, 250. At
Boots. boots.com
Smoke and mirrors
Neville the new grooming brand from Cowshed has taken
our bathroom cabinet by storm. The tobacco-musk scented
shave/skin/hair collection looks great, smells great and wont
break the bank. Members of Shoreditch House, London, can
also enjoy treatments with Neville products at Barber & Parlour,
the new grooming space.
From 14. neville.co.uk
Do the 12 days of Christmas herald
overindulgence that shows in your jaw line?
Heres a regime to help you ght back fast
Saving face...
in15minutes
T
he idea of a completely
dry January can inspire
cold dread, so we loved
the idea of the 12-Day
Plan. Under the guidance of
Zana Morris personal trainer,
nutritionist and founder of
Londons Library gym this
detox regime claims to be as
fast as it is effective.
First, Morris takes your
vital measurements, calculates
your body-fat percentage
and issues a nutritional plan
with supplements. The diet is
high-protein and high-fat (cream
cheese, eggs, walnuts, oily sh,
avocado, lean meat and strictly
green veg), with the aim to
reduce insulin, which suppresses
the bodys natural growth
hormone. Cutting out rened
carbs, alcohol and sugars may
hurt in the short term, but one of
the positive side effects is clearer,
rmer skin. In addition to the
diet, Morris uses the Educogym
concept (one-on-one, high-
intensity weight lifting) to
re-sculpt your body in single
15-minute sessions in less than
two weeks. The aim is to break
you in gently. Sort of. You work
under your potential for three
sessions, but then they push you
further. The fast weightlifting
sessions deny the muscles resting
time, which helps to burn fat and
build muscle. Losing excess body
fat will give you more than a trim
waistline it will slim down your
chin and jaw line.
At the Notting Hill branch,
Morris Library gym concept
combines distinct training
zones with inviting lounge
areas where guests can relax
(including Hollywood actor
Jeremy Piven, while he was
lming Mr Selfridge). Morris
also advocates adding yoga,
Pilates and boxing sessions for
a fully balanced tness regime.
Shedding those extra Christmas
pounds has never been so
straightforward; it just might
be a while before you can look
at an avocado again. JP
The 12-Day Plan, 595. thelibrarygym.com.
educogym.com
Aftercare After the 12-day plan, Zana Morris
recommends that you keep training for three
days a week in order to maintain your shape
and continue to improve your tness. In terms
of nutrition, the most vital goal is to continue
tokeep consumption of carbohydrates to a
minimum: this means two or three times a
weekat the most.
Fuel for the skin
Nutritionist Gabriela Peacock explains how to
eat your way to better complexion
60-minute consultation, 170. GPNutrition, Grace
Belgravia Medical, London SW1. gpnutrition.co.uk
Milk thistle is known to
protect the liver, as do
bitter vegetables such
as fennel and artichoke;
both contain enzymes
that stimulate the
cleansing process.
Replenish the body
with nutrients such as
zinc, Vitamin C and iron.
Choose plenty of fresh
fruit and veg, nuts and
seeds such as pumpkin
and sunower.
Dark-green, leafy
or yellow-orange
vegetables are a great
source of betacarotene,
the precursor to Vitamin
A, and important for
skin health.
Hydration is vital:
water is best, but herbal
tea or lemon juice in hot
water are good too.
Lemon is a source of
limonene, which boosts
detoxication.
Keeping the digestive
system working well
can help with the
festive bloat. Include
bre-rich oats, lentils
or teas made with
peppermint or ginger.
Antioxidants and
omega-3 fatty acids are
also essential for the
skin and can be taken
through a combination
of vegetables, juices,
seeds and oily sh.
134
Directory
GQs style insider brings you all the latest fashion
+
exclusive events
+
grooming kit
+
news
+
competitions
Edited by
Giorgina Waltier
Never too much
When it comes to coats, our rule is simple: you can
never have too many. So if you are after an addition
to your outerwear collection, then check out this
moss-green creation by Victorinox, with patch-pocket
and shoulder-epaulette details. Pair with a chunky
rollneck sweater and jeans for a casual weekend look.
395. victorinox.com
Sugar and spice
With sweet, warm woody notes and rich
oriental spices, the new limited-edition
JohnVarvatos Classic Deluxe fragrance is
theperfect winter scent.
75. Exclusively at debenhams.co.uk
Simply chic
If you like your luggage to be chic and understated,
then Lacostes latest line of man bags will be right
up your street.
199. lacoste.com
Walk it of
After all that Christmas holiday
overeating, youll be in need of
a few outdoor expeditions to
beat the bulge. All you need
is a heavy duty, all-weather-
condition coat like this one by
Jack Wolfskin, and youre
good to go.
200. At Blacks. blacks.co.uk
Major league
With several seasons in the limelight, the baseball
jacket is now a menswear fashion favourite and
Gants take on the all-American look is certainly
set to steal a few bases.
Jacket, 450. Shirt, 80. gant.co.uk
Mighty white
Nineteen-fty-one was the year that Lacoste rst introduced colour
to itsdesigns. Its also the name of the brands latest capsule footwear
collection, which focuses on four of the most iconic all-white designs from
theFrench fashion house.
80. lacoste.com
Fashion meets art
With a line that includes bags and small
leather accessories, Mirabilia is the name
of Etros latest collaboration with Indian
contemporary artists Thukral & Tagra.
700. etro.com
Trail blazers
Bored of classic black and blue blazers?
Beadventurous and go for a bold print
la Ben Sherman.
Blazer, 225. Rollneck, 90.
bensherman.com
Man up
Feeling a little frosty? Try a
wee dram of Monkey Shoulder
blended malt scotch whisky to put
the hairs on your chest.
27. monkeyshoulder.com
On map
watch
This winter, luxury
Swiss watch makers
Parmigiani have
paid tribute to
London with a
special limited-
edition timepiece
that features an
artistic take on
the iconic London
Underground map.
11,500.
parmigiani.ch
Keen for camo
If you have not yet tapped into the camo-
print look, then fear not it's still a key trend
this winter. Try teaming a camo shirt like this
one by Bucks & Co with jeans or khakis.
95. bucksandco.com
Directory
Exclusive Turnbull & Asser
competition
Luxury British shirting brand Turnbull & Asser has
launched a limited-edition collection of silk pocket
squares in celebration of the 50th anniversary of
the Beatles debut album, and they are giving one
lucky GQ reader the chance to win one of the 13
designs. With all pocket squares made in England,
the collection includes a selection of the Beatles
most iconic album covers printed on pure silk and
presented in a corresponding album sleeve. For
your chance to win, email your details to
turnbullandasser@condenast.co.uk
Terms & Conditions 1. The competition is open to residents of the United Kingdom who are
aged 18 years or over, except employees of Cond Nast and participating companies or their
afliated companies, their families, agents or anyone professionally connected with the Prize
draw. 2. Entries must be received no later than 23:59 on the day of the draw 2 January 2014.
Only one entry per valid email address is permitted. 3. The winner of the draw will be the rst
entry drawn at random from all valid and completed entries. The winner will be notied by
email within 14 days of the relevant draw. The results of the free prize draw are nal and no
correspondence will be entered into. If the winner cannot be contacted within 21 days of the
relevant draw, the promoter reserves the right at its absolute discretion to withdraw prize
entitlement and award the prize to a substitute winner drawn at the same time as the original.
The prize is non-transferable and there is no cash alternative for the prize. 4. The promoter
retains sole discretion to withhold prizes without liability if in its view a winner is ineligible. The
promoter reserves the right to withdraw or amend the competition in the event of unforeseen
circumstances or circumstances outside of its control. 5. Cond Nast Publications Ltd is the
promoter of this competition and can be contacted at Vogue House, 1 Hanover Square, London,
W1S 1JU. 6. The prize will be delivered to a single UK address. The winner will be contacted by
the prize provider to arrange delivery within 2 weeks of the selection of the winner. 7. The Prize
Draw and these terms and conditions are governed by English law and are subject to the
exclusive jurisdiction of the English courts. 8. Entrants email addresses will be shared with the
prize provider (Turnbull & Asser). 9. By submitting an entry, entrants acknowledge and accept
these terms and conditions.
Make it pop
Dont let the standard grey British weather
darken all your outt choices: brighten
things up a tad with some coloured denim.
From left: By Jacob Cohen, price on
request. At harrods.com. 135, replay.it.
190, uk.7forallmankind.com
Casual cashmere
If youre in need of some winter warmers, then
check out the latest cashmere range from Uniqlo.
Available with round or V-neck collars and in single block
colours or two-tone colour combinations, these easy-to-
wear sweaters are the ultimate winter-wardrobe staple.
79.90. uniqlo.com/uk
JANUARY 2014 G
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Drawing on decades of Italian motor-racing brio and precision Swiss horology,
the Chopard Mille Miglia Zagato is the perfect way to measure the fast life
PEAK

TIMES
Montblanc celebrates
the90thanniversary of its
legendary Meisterstuck pens
in2014. But its not letting
itsguarddown on the haute
horlogerie front just yet:
the Villeret ExoTourbillon
Chronographe is a patent-
pending world rst.
montblanc.com
W
atch brands have long
associated themselves with
motorsport, but these have
usually been relationships based
around teams or, in some instances, individual
drivers. Granted, Rolex has taken Formula One
as its own (albeit without the role of ofcial
timekeeper), but its another independently
controlled watch brand that owns Italys
legendary Mille Miglia road race the
Geneva-based Chopard.
Describing a 1,000 mile Brescia-Rome-
Brescia circuit around the backbone of Italy,
the Mille Miglias heyday was in the prewar
years, until, following a series of crashes that
cost the lives of competitors and spectators
alike, it was nally abandoned in 1957.
The Mille Miglia name was revived in 1982
as a showcase for pre-57 sports cars, and with
a passionate interest in prewar grand touring
cars, it wasnt long before Chopard co-president
Karl-Friedrich Scheufele decided to sponsor
the event. Scheufele has competed every year
since and to mark the 25th anniversary of its
association, Chopard has collaborated with
another independent closely associated with
the Mille Miglia Milan-based bodywork
specialist Zagato.
The third-generation family business can
claim a particular heritage in the Mille Miglia,
having built eleven victorious cars in the races
original, archly competitive format (cars are
now individually timed, but do not race one
another). Fittingly, the Zorro-like swoosh
that demarcates the companys one-of-a-kind
creations is repeated on the dial of the Mille
Miglia Zagato, and the ateliers signature
double bubble roof-line is picked up in the
contours of the contrast-stitched leather strap.
Inside the 42.5mm DLC-coated steel case,
a self-winding, COSC-certied chronograph
with date and dual time displays completes
the performance-oriented package.
Available in all-black or rose gold treatments,
the latter incarnation boasts a handsome red
bezel suggested by Marella Rivolta, wife of
CEO Andrea Zagato and his Mille Miglia
co-driver in the rms priceless 1957 Alfa
Romeo 1900 SSZ. BP
Watch by Chopard,
5,230. chopard.com.
Briefcase by Dunhill,
595. dunhill.co.uk
141
Kinetic watches sound like a vision of the future, yet Seikos Kinetic
technology is 25 years old. Innovation is part of Seikos heritage
thats why it is the Ofcial Watch Partner of FC Barcelona
his is a year of major milestones.
As you may know, British GQ is
celebrating its 25th anniversary,
but in 2013, watchmaker Seiko
has also been popping the champagne corks.
Production of the rst Japanese wristwatch,
the Seiko Laurel, began 100 years ago, while
1988, the year of GQs launch, witnessed one
of horologys most signicant achievements
the introduction of the Seiko AGS
(Automatic Generating System), powered
by a technology now referred to as Kinetic.
Like mechanical or tourbillon movements,
Kinetic is its own platform, a quartz calibre
in which motion made by the wearer is
converted into electrical energy. The current
is then stored in an ESU (electrical storage
unit), releasing power as required. As the
wearer provides all the energy that the
movement requires, Kinetic watches never
need a battery change. Seikos fuss-free
technology has caught on. Since 1988, it has
sold more than ten million Kinetic pieces.
Kinetic technology is purely a Seiko
endeavour; every aspect of the movements
development is made in-house, including
growing its own quartz crystals and producing
lubricating oil. The latest incarnations, like the
Le Grand Sport, can save power by reducing
the second-hand tick when the watch isnt in
use; normal hand movement then resumes
when the watch is picked up. Since the rst
Kinetic timepiece, there has been consistent
improvement in power storage. Today, Seikos
Kinetic Perpetual, Kinetic Direct Drive, Kinetic
Auto Relay and Kinetic GMT watches can hold
a charge for up to four years. The Auto Relay
will stop and sleep if dormant, but adjust
to the correct date and time when woken.
Potential energy is a vital component
of another ingenious system that Seiko is
involved with FC Barcelona. Seiko has
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The graduate:
Lionel Messi
(surrounded),
a product of
FC Barcelonas
La Masia football
school, scored 60
goals from 50
appearances in last
seasons campaign
G Promotion
been FC Barcelonas Ofcial Watch Partner
since 2011, a time that has seen the club take
eight major honours including the Champions
League, La Liga (twice), UEFA Super Cup and
FIFA Club World Cup. The Seiko Sportura
collection includes the clubs ofcial team
watch and is worn by the likes of Lionel
Messi, Neymar and Carlos Puyol.
FC Barcelonas brilliance is a result of
its coaching system, a stringent sports and
intellectual education that begins in the
La Masia football school. Would-be stars
are indoctrinated into the FC Barcelona way
from the age of nine or ten, learning the
short-passing game known as tiki-taka.
Building potential energy was the idea
of Dutch legend Johan Cruyff, who, upon
departing Bara for Los Angeles Aztecs in
1979, suggested that the Catalan clubs
fortunes might further improve if they
copied the Ajax Academy in Amsterdam.
Ajax provided the backbone of Hollands
total-football revolution in the Seventies.
Promising players from La Masia began
appearing in the rst team around the time
that Seikos Kinetic technology was launched,
a year in which Cruyff returned to the Nou
Camp as manager. In 1990, two years into
Cruyffs tenure, midelder Pep Guardiola,
a product of La Masia, made his Bara debut.
Guardiola would later manage the club,
presiding over the likes of Xavi Hernndez,
Andrs Iniesta and the worlds nest
footballer, Messi, from 2008-12. It was the
greatest club side in history. Each player had
emerged from La Masia with his lethal skills
honed; they could play as if telepathic.
Theres much to be said for home-grown
nurture, which is why Seiko regards
FC Barcelona as a kindred spirit. Seiko is
the sole manufacturer of Kinetic timepieces
and with the technology celebrating its
25th anniversary, it has grown into an
established and proven calibre.
Seikos Le Grand Sport has just been
released in the UK. Its typically eye-
catching but also low-maintenance,
environmentally friendly and ten times
more accurate than mechanical models.
Even if you struggled with the concept of
kinetic power in the physics classroom, such
simple facts cant fail to impress. seiko.co.uk
Kinetic Direct Drive
With Kinetic Direct Drive, the wearer has
the choice of generating energy by their
movement or by winding the crown.
The energy being input is shown on the
power-reserve indicator.
SRG012P1, 549
Energy on demand:
Seiko Kinetic
Kinetic Perpetual
Using Kinetic Auto Relay technology,
when the watch is not worn it goes into
sleep mode for up to four years.
When the watch is worn again, it resets
to the correct time and date.
SNP064P1, 599
Potential
energy is a vital
component
of another
ingenious system
that Seiko is
involved with
FC Barcelona.
Seiko has been
FC Barcelonas
Ofcial Watch
Partner since
2011, a time that
has seen the club
take eight major
honours including
the Champions
League and
La Liga
Seiko Le Grand Sport,
399. seiko.co.uk
Kinetic GMT
The marriage of Kinetic with a GMT function
makes this the ideal travel watch. The hour
can be set without disturbing the accuracy
of the movement, and as Kinetic is powered
by movement, this watch ofers a unique
combination of elegance, powerful design
and set-and-forget convenience.
SUN015P1, 379
RICHARD E GRANT
G JANUARY 2014
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anuary 2012. No sooner had I landed
back from the Caribbean with Anya
Hindmarchs encouragement to go
for it ringing in my cranium, than
the harsh winds of Hounslow and the cold
reality of actually getting started in the
perfume business came, lling me with doubt
and scuppering my resolve (not unlike a
holiday romance where your entire future
is mapped out, then disintegrates within
nanoseconds of landing on home turf).
But, being Anya, before Id even emptied my
suitcase, ping goes my iPhone with an email
introducing me to British perfumer Lyn Harris
of Miller Harris, who kindly agrees to meet me.
I take the Tube to Notting Hill and head to
Lyns shop, feeling like a fraud every step
the closer I get. She is as open and gen-
erous with her advice and time as
youd never expect a total stran-
ger to be. Seated in her basement
laboratory, she details the rudi-
mentaries of getting started,
and is visibly relieved that I
am not intending to make a
celebrity scent. Passion is
everything, she says.
Its like a game of snakes
and ladders where, with
my rst throw of the die,
Ive zoomed from start
straight to the top of the
first step, getting expert
advice and being taken seri-
ously, surprised that Lyn
doesnt dismiss my beginners
ideas outright. Be patient and
resolute, she says, as its a treach-
erous market to manoeuvre through.
It feels like taking baby steps into a
business which at this point is as invis-
ible as scent itself.
I am catapulted back into the last century
when I confessed to my music teacher and
mentor that I wanted to become a professional
actor, fully anticipating a panto chorus of Oh
no you dont!
April 2012. Marigay, meet Richard, Richard,
meet Marigay is how Anyas next magic-wand
email intro goes. Ms Marigay McKee is [at the
time*] the head buyer of all things beauty-
related at Harrods and as immaculately
groomed and business-brained as youd expect
her to be. She works a 60-hour week, is Exocet-
missile focused and, within my ten-minute
In the second chapter detailing his foray into the
world of fragrance formulation, the sweet-scented
Richard E Grant is introduced to the noses in the know
Diary of a
perfumed ponce
meeting, which has taken almost as many
weeks to secure, Marigay details what sells,
what doesnt, the costs of hiring staff and a
stand in the perfume department, and suggests
I meet Roja Dove, the scent supremo who has
his own bespoke emporium on the fth oor.
Everything about Marigays ofce is efcient
and chic-assistant-scheduled-to-the-second,
and I cant help feeling like a country bumpkin
attening my nose to the glass wall of a corpo-
rate world I will never earn entry to.
Taking a deep breath on my way out,
I venture into Roja Doves Lalique glass
can. Lets meet, he replies. Before we do so,
we email back and forth with a familiarity as
if wed known each other forever.
We meet for dinner in Mayfair, where he
lives. At 55, billiard bald, and coutured from
collar to calf in velvet with diamond rings on
every other nger, Roja is a walking, talking
perfume lexicon with an encyclopedic knowl-
edge that he is willing to share.
Impeccably well-spoken and mannered, he
is unequivocal about the David and Goliath
nature of the business world, and pinpoints
what kind of market I am aiming for: Niche
or mass? Bespoke or Boots?
I am taking notes as fast as I can, with the
challenge of getting my greys around all
the practical aspects of bottles, packaging,
tops, atomisers, labels, licences, base oils and
patent application for the name up, down
and sideways.
No sooner has this list unravelled than Roja
asks me to note all the smells I love or loathe,
topped off by an hour-long olfactory tester
session. He opens a series of upright cases that
are a library of tiny tubes which he blind tests
me on, writing down every response to assess
my nose buds. Its the sniff equivalent of 20
Christmas dinners and, for a smellaholic,
sheer nirvana.
He concludes that, possibly because
Ive never smoked nor been a
drinker, my schnoz is fresh, clear,
pure and obsessed. Haha!
Go to Grasse as soon
as possible, Roja advises.
and head to Robertet,
which produces the purest
and best perfume oils
available, to properly
immerse yourself.
Even though warned
otherwise, Ive fixed on
an image of the Provenal
hillsides, all flowered-up
and Timotei-advert scented.
Mais non, monsieur! Roja has
arranged for a private tour and
the perfume-saturated air is
overwhelming before my wife and
I have even got out of the car. The
factory machinery is part Dickensian,
cheek-by-jowelled with 21st-century,
state-of-the-art tech, transforming tons
of petals via a Dr Seuss-ish hiss-and-steam
process that produces drumfuls of perfume
wax. All described in epic techno-detail to
which our heads nod like dashboard dogs.
Meeting a professional nose whose job it
is to mix and create new perfumes convinces
me that this is exactly what I want to be doing.
We headed home feeling as frisky as a pair
of whippets.
Richard E Grants diary continues next
month. His fragrance will be launched
in April 2014 at Liberty.
-and-chandelier perfumery that looks like Ali
Babas cave of gleaming treasures. A Rolodex
of dollar signs scrolls cartoonishly across my
eyeballs, prompting a tiny voice to whisper
up from nowhere: You have no backer, no
production company, no distributor, no retailer,
no business plan... no hope, boy!
This horribly familiar yo-yo of hope and
doubt is tossed aside by Marigay, who intro-
emails me to Roja within minutes of my leaving
her ofce. Yes, I will help you in every way I
PART 2
Getting
advice
144
FOR YOUR NEAREST SALON CALL 0800 731 2396 WWW.TONIANDGUY.COM /toniandguyUK @ toniandguyUK
USING LABEL.M OFFICIAL HAIRCARE PRODUCT LONDON FASHION WEEK
2013
Site-geist: Threads Kieran ONeill tailors his new service to those who value personal service
THREAD
It is a strange quirk of human nature but
we arent always the best judges of when we
look best. Many years ago, while working at
a national newspaper, I was sent in error a
contact sheet (this was in the dim and distant
past) from which a megastar (who will remain
nameless) had already picked out her
favourite images. Not only were the pre-
touched-up shots a revelation, but she sure
couldnt pick the most attering photos.
I should say here and now, however,
that I am equally guilty of this form of
style-blindness, as I was once persuaded by a
friend to buy an electric-blue raincoat. When
I wore it for the rst time I realised that he
had done this quite deliberately as a joke.
So imagine how wonderful it would be to
have the help of a personal stylist. Indeed,
just look at how Gary Barlow has transformed
himself from chubby boy-band member into
Always wanted your own
personal stylist? Kieran
ONeills new website can
connect you with the
experts who dress the stars
Is this your new
go-to guy?
one of the most stylish men on British TV
with the help of the magic touch of Luke Day,
Fashion Director of GQ Style.
This is the concept behind the newly
launched e-commerce site Thread.
Whats special is that you have access
to the exact same stylists that celebrities
or wealthy individuals have access to,
explains the sites founder, Bermudan-born
Kieran ONeill. This wasnt
possible before, unless you paid
their day rate to go shopping
with them, which could run into
hundreds of pounds. You could,
of course, go into a department
store and speak to one of the
stylists there, but effectively
they were just trying to get you
to buy the clothes so that they
could hit their sales targets.
However, with Thread you get
access to the main stylists and
they really are working for you
and want to build a long-term
relationship.
Coat by Bleu De Paname,
219. At Thread.
thread.com
Brogues by Sanders, 265.
At Thread. thread.com
Coat by Fjllrven, 395.
Jumper by Missoni, 319.
JANUARY 2014 G JANUARY 2014 G 147
G JANUARY 2014
THREAD
The service is completely free and the
stylists involved are all well-respected
indeed, Gwyneth Paltrows stylist, Elizabeth
Saltzman, is taking part in the project and
have access to thousands of items for you to
choose from. If you sign up for the service
and at the moment it is by invitation only,
unless you take advantage of the special GQ
offer below the rst thing that happens is
that you are assigned your free personal
stylist. And rather than having to browse
through thousands of items to come up with
something you like, every week you will be
sent three outt ideas, each consisting of
three items that may include outerwear,
shoes or other pieces, chosen from 1,000
brands the site is already working with, from
Lanvin to River Island.
If, for example, you have a specic event
coming up, you can email your stylist at any
point and they will then attempt to supply
you with appropriate suggestions. Indeed,
the idea is that over time you will build up
a personal relationship that will allow your
stylist to choose items for your perusal with
ever more accuracy. You can also add
personal information, such as labels or
colours you particularly like (or indeed hate),
as well as body shape, budget limits and
style preferences whether you are
classically inclined or more interested in
trends. Then, if you so choose, the pieces are
sent to you to try on. If you like them, they
will be charged to your card. If not, you
simply return them all postage is free.
So far, the feedback has been amazing,
reports ONeill. What we hear more from
our customers is that they are so happy to
have somebody who is helping them to gure
out what suits them and what they really
like, what looks best on them, but also
someone who brings them this kind
of very personalised selection.
Before, it was overwhelming to
walk into a department store or log
on to an e-commerce site and be
presented with so much choice; most men
simply didnt know where to start. And one
of the pluses of Thread is that because good
stylists will know every label under the sun,
they will be able to introduce you to new
brands you hadnt heard of.
ONeill has a proven record in the digital
domain and describes himself as a serial
entrepreneur. When still at school, aged 15,
he launched a video-sharing site. It was
similar to YouTube, he explains. It wasnt
supposed to be a business, but the site grew
so quickly that pretty soon around 400,000
people were using it every day.
ONeill recalls spending every day at school
worrying the site would crash and then
running home to work on it. After a few
years he sold up and it was reported that he
walked away from the deal with nearly a
million dollars. His next venture came when
he was at university. ONeill
came up with a site that
would recommend which
video game to buy next
based on what you had
enjoyed previously. He attracted
backers including people from
Skype and LoveFilm. By last year
when he sold it, over a million
gamers were using it regularly.
Having made more money in his twenties
than most of us will make in a lifetime,
ONeill spent some time guring out what
he wanted to do with the rest of his life.
The idea behind Thread was one I had been
playing with for years, he says. With this
business, I wanted to prove that I could do
this for the long term and to create a service
that I had a deep desire to use myself as a
consumer. Robert Johnston
TM
Shoes by Grenson, 185.
Jeans by Paul Smith, 125.
Jacket by Battenwear,
455. At Thread.
thread.com
Jumper by Norse Projects,
455. At Thread. thread.com
GQ readers can jump the queue and gain
special access to Thread at thread.com/GQ
Shirt shrift (above):
Your stylist will
send you outt
ideas directly
148
G Promotion
Keep clean-shaven
and business-like
with Gillettes
Sensitive Shave
Gel, a winning
shaving product at
the GQ Grooming
Awards 2014.
2.99 for 200ml.
gillette.com
BEST NEW SHAVING GEL
This is perfect to
achieve a quick,
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Other products
can irritate my
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Seasonal tip
Winters icy blasts quickly
dry out skin so your face
needs added protection.
Once youve shaved using
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rehydrate your skin with
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GROOMING AWARDS 2014
WINNER
Luke Day
Fashion Director, GQ Style
Charlie Casely-Hayford
Fashion designer
GILLETTE SERIES SENSITIVE SHAVE GEL
JANUARY 2014 G
Photographs Getty Images
SPORT
Martin Samuel
SCIENCE
Richard Fisher
MUSIC
Dorian Lynskey
POLITICS
Matthew dAncona
COMEDY
James Mullinger
LITERATURE
Olivia Cole
FILM
This months new releases
State of the art: welcome to Miami
Twelve years in, Art Basel is on a mission to break new artists and new ground
amid the superstars, oligarchs and fashion icons of Floridas style capital
ART
Sophie Hastings
Picture perfect:
Cutting-edge
contemporary art
mixes with the
modernity of Miami
thanks to Art Basel
153
G JANUARY 2014 Photographs Tracey Emin; Richard Schmidt
ART
WITH its DD-cupped shop-
window mannequins falling out
of sequinned bikini tops, a reputation
for sun, sex and vice, and a lack of
any discernible local culture, Miami
Beach seemed an unlikely destination
for a world-class contemporary art
fair when Art Basel Miami Beach
(ABMB) launched in 2002. Especially
considering it came from a part of
Switzerland where wealth is palpably
old and the haute bourgeoisie has
collected art for generations. But thats
the thing about America: tradition
does not weigh heavily, life is mutable
and its innovators are persuasive.
Miami is a little over 100 years
old. Its a microcosm of the US, an
immigrant country. When I moved here
18 years ago, the most creative force
was the Cubans. They terrorised the
city, but we shouldnt make the mistake
of thinking immigrants are a threat
theyre the energy, says Don Rubell,
co-founder with his wife, Mera, of the
Miami-based Rubell Family Collection,
now one of the worlds largest privately
owned contemporary art collections. It
was a small group of local collectors
the Rubells, the De La Cruzes, the
Scholls, the Margulies and the Bramans
that lobbied Basel to bring their event
to Miami. We kept inviting them to
come to our homes to look at our art,
remembers Rubell.
Bonnie Clearwater, the former
executive director of Miamis Museum
Of Contemporary Art (MOCA) and
another early lobbyist for ABMB, says
these families showed incredible
hospitality not only to the Basel
guests, but also promising to open
their collections to visitors during the
fair. This is the Miami Model. ABMB
has changed the way art fairs are run.
The US openness also extends to
many British artists, particularly those
we nd difcult to absorb into the
ne-art pantheon working-class
women and black East-Enders, for
instance. Tracey Emin, whose rst US
museum show opened on 4 December
at MOCA, says, In some ways, the US
takes me more seriously than the UK,
she says. Emin is showing over 60
neons. Its the perfect medium for
Miami. Its a hot, light, outdoors
place, and my neons will be indoors,
in the dark the antithesis of that.
Miami is an ideal destination for
artists, says Emin. Its multicultural,
cosmopolitan, not racist. When youve
travelled all over the US you notice
this. Clearwater, who made the rst
US museum acquisition of Emins work
in 1998 when MOCA bought her lm
Why I Never Became A Dancer
(1995), has championed other British
artists including Isaac Julien. MOCA
gave the east London lm-maker a
solo show, True North, in 2005, and
Miamis Bass Museum followed suit in
2010 with the inauguration of Juliens
nine-screen installation Ten Thousand
Waves, inspired by the deaths of
Chinese immigrant cockle-pickers in
Morecambe Bay. Julien, who made his
name with the lm Young Soul Rebels
in 1991, has taught cinema at Harvard
and is currently visiting professor at
the Whitney Museum Of American
Arts. He opened Ten Thousand Waves
at MoMA, New York, in November but
he has never had a museum show in
the UK. They get me more in the
States than in Britain, he says.
New York is a more mature art world,
multilayered. In London theres still
only one voice.
Clearwater says that Miami does not
have second-city syndrome: we dont
want to be New York, we created our
own paradigm, but there are tangible
links between the two, not least because
real-estate prices mean many emerging
artists now live and work in Miami and
their New York galleries visit them,
collectors in tow. Emins New York
gallery, Lehmann Maupin, is showing
her work a new series of bronzes
Emin has created at the Long Island
Foundry used by Louise Bourgeois
in the Kabinett section of ABMB.
The great difference is Miamis bling
factor. ABMB attracts sponsorship
from private-jet rm NetJets and
BMW, and parties are held by Ferrari
and Swarovski. What passes for
high-end entertaining in traditional
western art hubs wouldnt cut it in
Miami. The number of private aircraft
ying in during ABMB rivals the Super
Bowl and guest lists heave with blingy
names: Paris Hilton, Ivana Trump,
Pharrell Williams, Will Smith, Mary
J Blige, Timbaland, Naomi Campbell,
Sean Combs, not to mention the
oligarchs, arms dealers and fruit-juice
billionaires. Guests dunk communion
wafers into chocolate fountains
streaming from the penises of silver
putto sculptures (Pissing Contest II,
Angel Otero, 2011); dealers sell
Warhols over dinner at Soho Beach
House; baseball stars display their
newly acquired art in batting cages;
everyone gets party anxiety I
missed the one with the live tiger...
Critics claim that ABMB embodies
the excess of a bloated art market,
but the tension between art and its
market is just not Miamis problem.
ABMB shone the spotlight on Miami,
showing it to be a generous, open
place, says Clearwater. It wants
people to feel good.
NOW
SHOWING
Healthy glow: I Can Feel Your
Smile by Tracey Emin (2005) is
currently on display in Miami
Turner Prize
Ebrington Barracks,
Londonderry.
Until 5 January 2014.
turnerprize2013.org
The Male Nude:
18th-Century
Drawings
From The Paris
Academy
The Wallace
Collection, London.
Until 19 January
2014.
wallacecollection.
org
Isaac Julien: Ten
Thousand Waves
Museum Of Modern
Art, New York
Until 17 February
2014.
moma.org
Louise Bourgeois:
I Give Everything
Away
The Fruitmarket
Gallery, Edinburgh.
Until 16 February
2014.
fruitmarket.co.uk
David Hockney:
Early Reections
(above)
Walker Art Gallery,
Liverpool.
Until 16 March 2014.
liverpoolmuseums.
org.uk/walker
The new Miami Modern
Art Basel opens doors and minds in Florida
By Sophie Hastings
Art Basel Miami Beach is at the Miami Convention
Center, 5-8 December. artbasel.com. Tracey Emin: Angel
Without You is at the Museum Of Contemporary Art,
Miami, until 9 March 2014. mocanomi.org.
154
JANUARY 2014 G Illustrations George Williams Photograph Getty images
SPORT
MARTIN Amis once played darts on
The Last Resort With Jonathan Ross to
promote his book, London Fields. He clearly
fancied himself a bit. Most people do. Pub
game, darts. Anyone can play. Amis was
useless. Most people are, really. Theyre
probably better at darts than they would be
at, say, driving Formula One cars or playing
upfront for Manchester United, because just
hitting the board will accumulate a score of
some sort, and occasionally a useful one. But,
compared to Phil The Power Taylor, Amis
was about as skilled at darts as Jocky Wilson
would have been reading English at Exeter
College, Oxford.
Snooker is another pub game, so
ability is often overstated there, too.
Honesty such as that from Jimmy
Greaves on TV-am many years
ago, is rare. The last time
I got two balls together was
when I stood on a rake,
said Jim, to mild alarm
from the hosts. Most have
the opposite view and
consider themselves quite
handy with a cue, based on
a few afternoons playing pool,
a game with very large pockets
in which a random crash up
from the break can often result
in success. A chap I worked with
in Manchester used to make his
lunchtime beer money hustling
overcondent pool-playing
strangers at a proper snooker
table in the local. It was easy.
Lose one game, win the next
three. Everyone fell for it.
Snooker? Its a pub game.
There are some sports
writers who pride themselves
on what they dont cover, and
usually bogus principles are involved.
Theyre making a stand against rampant
commercialism in Premier League football
but will be quite happy to accept a trip to the
pure and rootsy Americas Cup (cost of a team
between 63m and 123m, and rising). They
despise the visceral brutality of boxing, but
see no conict in following NFL or ice hockey,
where evidence suggests lasting brain damage
is among the occupational hazards. And then
there are the sports that are declared not a
sport. There is one chap who dismisses golf
in this manner, but eulogises regularly over the
art of making a horse walk funny. Yet dressage
is an intricate and demanding sport; and so is
nding a way to get a tiny ball down a tiny
hole, cross-country, in four blows from 500
yards away.
It is only sport if somebody sweats, is a
familiar judgment. Ever played the Southern
Hills Country Club, the US Open venue in
Tulsa, during the summer months? Youll
sweat plenty. And while the odd major golf
tournament gets won by an overweight
white guy, the sports supreme protagonist
in modern times is a slim, ripped black man,
who, accorded to his former coach Hank
Haney, harboured a dream of giving it up
to join the US Navy Seals. Dress him in
Lycra and Tiger Woods would still not look
out of place.
Professional snooker is played in
formal wear, which immediately
sets it apart in the minds of the
snobs with their sport/non-sport
rules. Yet snooker, mentally,
may be the most demanding
of them all. It is the only
sport in which a
competitor, having made
a mistake, is required to sit
down, powerless, and watch
his opponent take advantage
until he is nished. Well meaning,
occasional pub players do not
appreciate this because
their opponent is usually
of the Jimmy Greaves
variety and it wont be long
before they are up at the
table again. To a professional,
though, one tiny error can be
fatal, and if the opponent is
good, the effects can last
three or four frames as
momentum builds.
Dressage has tension, but
there are not many occasions
when it has reduced a rider to
tears midway, as snooker did to Ding Junhui
in the nal of the Saga Insurance Masters
in 2007. Up against Ronnie OSullivan in
quite unstoppable nick, and trailing 8-3, he
started crying and the players escaped to the
backstage area, where OSullivan persuaded
a broken Ding to continue. OSullivan said he
knew how his opponent felt, having himself
conceded early to Stephen Hendry when he
felt in no t state to continue.
OSullivans painful dissection of the
isolation of the professional snooker player in
his recent autobiography, Running, should be
required reading for those who think of it as
part of Britains drinking culture, rather than
its sporting heritage. The account of his young
Pub games? Daylight snobbery
Undervalued sports have their fair share of blood, sweat and tears
By Martin Samuel
life during school holidays, spent in a darkened
room at the bottom of his garden, potting balls
for 12 hours at a time, on his own or with an
opponent in silence, while outside his mates
played on their bikes in the sunshine, is almost
a case for social services. His insight into the
pressures of the 17-day World Championship
an event that lasts longer than Wimbledon,
or any one Olympic discipline with its picture
of players who, having reached the late stages,
are mentally exhausted, pale-faced ghosts
who just want to get home, is quite startling.
And theres the thing. Every sport that
has lasted to modern times has some element
making it special. Table tennis and badminton
exist for a reason, as does the buttery
stroke and lacrosse. So snooker, like golf, like
dressage, like darts, like NFL, is most denitely
a sport. Only pompous asses presume
otherwise. May they step on rakes.
Martin Samuel is the chief sports writer of
the Daily Mail.
Cheap shots: Ronnie OSullivans
hard-earned skills y in the
face of writers who sneer at
snooker as a sport
Passing the Test:
Sachin Tendulkar
hits a ton at Old
Traford, 1990
Goodbye, Sachin
Sachin Tendulkar gave early notice of his
greatness. In 1988 the unbeaten 326 he
compiled as a 14-year-old Mumbai schoolboy
on the citys famous maidan pitches brought
him to the worlds attention. Now, 25 years
later, Tendulkar is retiring after scheduled
appearances in two Tests against West
Indies,the second giving The Little Master
thechance to reach 200 Tests caps in his
hometown.
It is easy to see why his followers sensed
something mythical in this princeling. By 17,
the small-framed, big-haired prodigy had
scored his maiden Test century against
England at Old Traford with the balance, poise
and inner steel that always characterised his
batting. The proceeding era can seem like a
blur of numbers: nearly 16,000 runs with 51
centuries in Tests plus 18,426 runs and 49
centuries in one-day internationals. Incredible
as his sporting records are, his impact on India
itself has arguably been even greater. There is
much hyperbole about Tendulkar (his other
nickname is God, after all) but his symbolic
importance to India is hard to exaggerate.
His career has coincided with the rise of his
nation on and of the eld. Not only is India one
of crickets great teams, but it is also the world
games new nancial superpower. Perhaps
themourning at his retirement is as much an
acknowledgement of how far India has come
and his part in this transformation as it is
forthe countless hours of joy he provided
forcricket-crazy fans. George Chesterton
155
156 G JANUARY 2014 Illustration Harry Malt
SCIENCE
Stupidity for dummies
The study of ignorance is helping us understand how intelligence works
By Richard Fisher
IN 1995, a criminal called McArthur
Wheeler did something stupid: he
walked into two banks in Pittsburgh with
a gun and demanded money, in full view of
the cameras. When police arrested Wheeler
that evening, he was incredulous. But I wore
the juice! he said. Detectives realised that
Wheeler believed scrubbing lemon juice on
to his face would hide his features on CCTV.
When psychologist David Dunning read
about Wheelers story, he was intrigued by
one facet: Wheeler was so condent in his
abilities, despite his stupidity. Could other
people have similar blind spots about their
incompetence? Dunning and his colleague
Justin Kruger conducted some experiments:
they tested their students on humour,
grammar and logic, then asked them to
estimate how well they had done. The pair
found that, like Wheeler, the poorest of
performers were also the worst at judging
their own abilities accurately.
This became known as the Dunning-Kruger
effect: in short, incompetence shields our
self-knowledge of incompetence. Or more
bluntly, the stupidest person in the room
doesnt feel that stupid, because their
ignorance also dampens their awareness.
Dunning and Krugers original research paper
became a classic in social psychology. Today,
however, Dunning sees the victims of his effect
differently. In the years hence, the Dunning-
Kruger effect has been observed in all sorts of
realms, including chess skills, medical training,
social abilities such as emotional intelligence,
and even in the rearms safety knowledge
among hunters. In any group with a spectrum
of abilities, those dwelling in the bottom 25 per
cent of performance were the least capable
when assessing their talents. But those aficted
by it medical students, chess players were
hardly unintelligent.
Look around and its easy to observe the
Dunning-Kruger effect in colleagues and
friends smart people. Consider the case of
Paul Frampton, a physicist jailed in November
2012 for drug smuggling in Argentina. He
was no McArthur Wheeler scrubbing juice
on his face. In his day job, Frampton wrestled
with the subatomic world hypothetical
particles called axigluons. Still, law enforcers
were incredulous about Framptons ignorance.
The 70-year-old was caught in January
2012 at Buenos Aires airport carrying a bag
with 2kg of cocaine in the lining. He told the
police that it belonged to a bikini model, who
had seduced him on an online dating site;
hed never met her, he said, but shed asked
him to bring her bag to Brussels. It was so
obvious that she was an internet catsh. But
not for the erudite and gullible Frampton.
Yet it is much more difcult to accept that
the Dunning-Kruger effect can be applied to
ourselves. People can label many of their own
incompetences be it the skills required for
neurosurgery or complex mathematics but
those pockets of ignorance are known.
Its a profound but unsettling thought that
there are countless things in life that we do
not know that we do not know. Donald
Rumsfeld called them unknown unknowns.
We each operate in a pond of personal
knowledge; our ignorance is oceanic.
Worse, it is impossible to fathom just how
close and how pervasive these unknowns are,
precisely because they are invisible to us.
People are destined not to know where the
solid land of their knowledge ends and the
slippery shores of their ignorance begins,
writes Dunning. He calls this afiction the
anosognosia of everyday life. Its an
obscure term from the medical literature, but
appropriate: people with anosognosia have
a disability they are paralysed or blind
but crucially, do not know they are disabled.
Its not denial; they are simply not aware.
So is that it? Are we all destined to stumble
through life unaware of our own concealed
incompetence? Perhaps not everybody.
Philosopher Isaiah Berlin wrote about two
types of people: hedgehogs and foxes.
A hedgehog is somebody who knows one
big thing; he condently navigates his life
by relating everything to one world-view.
Dick Cheney is a hedgehog. The fox, by
contrast, doesnt see the world so simply,
and believes reality is shaped by many forces,
including luck and unpredictable events,
such as black swans. Colin Powell is a fox.
Philip Tetlock, a psychologist, has explored
how these two types of thinking affect
peoples judgment. He asked 284 experts
on political and economic trends to assess the
probability of world events happening in the
future: war in the Middle East, for example.
While all performed dismally, the foxes did
better than the hedgehogs. One interpretation
is that foxes, in their characteristic embrace
of the unpredictable, were more likely to
account for unknown unknowns that would
shape the future. A fox has a talent for what
poet John Keats called negative capability
or a comfort in uncertainty.
The researcher and writer Dylan Evans
believes there is a mode of thinking: risk
intelligence, which can be graded like IQ.
This is not a metric of knowledge, but
self-knowledge.
You can measure your own risk intelligence
by taking an online test devised by Evans,
at projectionpoint.com. Here you rate your
certainty about the veracity of statements
such as: No word in the English language
rhymes with silver or purple. At the end,
you get a score out of 100 that describes
your ability to gauge your own uncertainty.
Those with a high risk intelligence know
when to be cautious or condent, and
according to Evans, that means they will also
make better predictions in business and other
uncertain situations. He believes that expert
gamblers fall into this category. Doctors, by
contrast, often display lower risk intelligence
as they get older, because their condence
increases faster than their abilities.
This should stand as a warning for the man
who has risen to the top thanks to luck and
condence alone. Embrace the reality of
unknown unknowns, or end up as foolish
as the bank robber McArthur Wheeler.
Richard Fisher is editor of the new science
and technology website, BBC Future
How come
youve got
time to smoke?
Dont you have anything better to do?
The pros and cons of smoking
continue tocircle like cigarette smoke
itself, yet the one thing nobody ever
mentions is how it indicates that you
havent got enough to do. Smoking may
make you look like a minor rockstar, and
it will almost certainlygive youcancer.
But it also makesyou look lazy.
Smoking lls the day like nothing
else. It makes you think you look
occupied, even if youve actually got
nothing to do.
Theceremony the ostentatious
opening of the packet, the ip to the
lips, the extravagant process of actually
lighting the damn thing, that rst
all-important suck iseverything, is all,
a palaver that is a job initself. Except
that it isnt, and smoking simply makes
you look as though you ought to be
red. Cosmo Littlejane
JANUARY 2014 G 157 Photograph Getty Images
MUSIC
LYNSKEYS
LIST
New skin
Reinvention can make or
break our pop princesses
By Dorian Lynskey
Single lady:
Beyoncs
fth album
still has
no release
date and
follows the
lacklustre
impact of 4
Twerk it out:
Miley Cyrus
pumps up her
public prole
ONLY two years ago, Beyonc
Knowles made an incredible
mistake. She released 4, which was an
adventurous, consistent and critically
acclaimed album, without any massive
hit singles. At her level, sadly, its better
to have two smashes surrounded by
ller than a strong album devoid of
hits and 4 was a letdown according to
the brutal arithmetic of A-list pop.
The punishment meted out was the
most embarrassing roll-out imaginable.
Her comeback began grandly with
her Super Bowl performance, faltered
when underwhelming tracks dribbled
out via TV adverts and entered into
suspended animation over the summer.
Her fth album still has no release
date. It looks rather like the most iconic
and admired pop star of her era has
been paralysed by lingering self-doubt.
But 2013 was a shaky year for women
in pop overall. Unusually, the two
songs of the summer, Blurred Lines
and Get Lucky, were visibly male,
while Drake, Macklemore and Justin
Timberlake were almost unstoppable
compared with their female
counterparts. With Rihanna and Taylor
Swift having a relatively quiet year,
there is only one woman (Beyoncs
surprisingly enduring contemporary
Pink) in the UKs top-ten singles of the
year to date and only three (Pink, Ellie
Goulding and Emeli Sand) in the Top-
20 albums. People who acknowledge
mainstream pop music only in order
to disparage it underestimate how hard
it is, especially for women. If youre
in it for the long haul, you have to be
both popular and interesting, only
differently, every single time. You have
to tell a story about where youve been
and where youre going.
In terms of impact, nobody has
told a better tale this year than Miley
Cyrus. While the premise is yawningly
predictable (Americas sweetheart all
grown up), its been executed with
unusual chutzpah. The 21-year-old
former tween princess described her
instantly notorious VMAs appearance,
which caused moral anguish and
intense debate over the semiotics of
twerking, as a strategic hot mess.
Its a fantastic phrase that insists that
shes calling the shots, even if the shots
are ying all over the place. See Cyrus
cackling self-condence highlighted
by the glassy distance of one previous
Disney graduate who guests on Cyrus
SMS (Bangerz): Britney Spears
wanders through her own records like
someone whos awoken from a coma
in the middle of a party held in her
honour and has reluctantly agreed to
play along. But Cyrus, like her fellow
bad inuence Rihanna, seems to nd
the pop circus both fun and funny. Do
get back to me if and when she has a
horrendous public meltdown, but for
now I believe her when she shrugs
on Do My Thang, Dont you worry
bout me/Ill be OK.
Cyrus increasing dominance of
the gossip-sphere is something
beyond dispute. The most
surprising part is that her
fourth album Bangerz
(RCA) sustains the
strategic hot mess for
up to 50 minutes. The
albums two massive
hits, the cold-blooded
party anthem We
Cant Stop (originally
written for Rihanna,
and it sounds like it) and
the gale-force power
ballad Wrecking Ball,
have given her licence to
make some genuinely
eccentric choices
elsewhere. I cant
imagine that some
boardroom tactician insisted that she
record what sounds like a dubstep
remake of Nina Simones I Put A
Spell On You (FU) or a breakneck
hoedown about driving so fast that
you wet yourself (4X4), which is
truly an apt metaphor for the whole
thing. Usually pop records are quite
incoherent because theyre playing
safe, but Bangerz slaloms between
styles with madcap glee. If its splashy,
lurid and obnoxious, then its because
she designed it that way. As producer
Pharrell Williams has said in what is an
unwittingly satirical defence of Cyrus,
Why is she doing this? Because shes
a product of America.
Katy Perry is in a much more delicate
position, transitioning from a human
Hanna-Barbera sex bomb to 29-year-
old divorcee, and her third album Prism
(Capitol) is stuck in the middle. At least
half the record is devoted to what is
her default troika of love, dancing and
innuendo. The Birthday refrain, Let
me get you in your birthday suit/Its
time to bring out the big balloons,
proves that her inner Benny Hill
is alive and well. The second half,
however, evokes self-help books and
wind machines as she addresses her
divorce. But such is the transparency
of modern celebrity that even her
private pain is a public event. We know
that the stranger, vanished like a
vapour in Ghost is ex-husband
Russell Brand, and she knows that we
know, so there is no distinguishing
genuine candour from her need to
make a public statement. Just as every
Rihanna lyric since 2009 is coloured
(often deliberately so) by knowledge
of Chris Browns assault on the singer,
Prism is part of a tabloid narrative.
The listener can get tired of being fed
a message. Im a rebel. Im a survivor.
Im a free agent. The modern diva is
her own spin-doctor, with an album
full of talking points. Compare Bangerz
to the multifaceted, complex, even
contradictory visions of womanhood
in Amy Winehouses Back To Black or
Madonnas best work and they seem
two-dimensional at best.
In Beyoncs otherwise unrevealing
self-produced documentary Life Is But
A Dream, the singer talks about her
desire to express her vulnerable side.
At 32, she is still equated with power,
control and iron self-discipline, and
thats a pitch, only half-true, that she
no longer seems interested in making.
I hope that all her agonising results in
an album that takes that leap, because
there are other stories to be told.
Loving
Big Wheel And
Others (Domino),
the compellingly
eccentric new
double album from
the nomadic
singer-songwriter
Cass McCombs.
Reading
Yeah Yeah Yeah:
TheStory Of Modern
Pop (Faber, 20) by
SaintEtiennes
BobStanley.
Learned, funny,
andopinionated.
Welcoming
MIAs re-balancing
ofpop and noise
onMatangi (XL),
arowdy, contrary
splurge of a
record (below).
158 G JANUARY 2014 Illustration Phil Disley
POLITICS
And the winner is... The last man standing
The long and winding road to 2015 will provide the ultimate test of political stamina
By Matthew dAncona
Pile-ups on the grid
On your marks: The party
leaders face a bruising
slog to the next election
THE game of politics was framed to suit Mo Farah rather than
Usain Bolt. Dynamism is rewarded at Westminster, as is
charisma. But the aspiring politician needs stamina more than
showmanship. If a good proportion of political success depends upon
showing up, an even greater percentage is accounted for by staying
there. And rarely more so than now.
In 2013, the starters pistol was red for the general election more
than a year and a half before polling day. This will be a long and
gruelling campaign, characterised by many pitched battles over
specic, crunchy issues.
Some elections are about or perceived to be about momentous
change: in 1979, Jim Callaghan ruefully identied a sea-change
that was about to sweep Labour away. Eighteen years later,
Tony Blairs promise of New Britain did the same to
the Tories. But the early signs are that the 2015
contest will be down and dirty: a rough brew
of personal vilification and competing
retail offers.
Ed Milibands promise at Labours
conference to freeze energy bills for
two years may not make much sense
as a policy. But it captured the
popular imagination all the same, and
launched a bidding war for the
electorates attention. The battle to
come will be exhausting for the
participants, a punishing 10,000m nal
rather than an explosive 100m dash
for the tape.
The digital revolution has encouraged a
relentless focus upon the here-and-now and
turned our collective attention away from the long
haul. But it is the long haul that matters. Those who present
David Cameron as a spoilt Fauntleroy, chillaxing his way
to the top, should try his schedule some time. More to the
point, they should try living his life for more than 20 years.
The prime minister launched himself into the political arena in his
early twenties, and, other than a spell at the media company Carlton,
has been there ever since.
Boris Johnson is rightly celebrated for his wit and capacity to charm
an audience. But his political triumphs reect more than native
talent. In 1997, he pounded the streets of Clwyd South as the Tory
candidate in an unwinnable constituency. As a Balliol man, Boris
relishes the impression of effortless superiority. But there has been
no shortage of effort on the way to City Hall and perhaps beyond.
It is fashionable to sneer at the career politicians who have little or
no experience of any other life. Again: you try it some time.
Bette Davis famously said that old age aint no place for sissies.
Neither is politics.
At the time of writing, Labour is still ahead in the polls, though its
lead over the Tories is narrowing. Between now and polling day, there
are the European elections, in which UKIP is likely to prosper, and
the Scottish referendum, the result of which is impossible to predict
(opinion polls at the start of referendum campaigns are notoriously
unreliable). Conscious that the leadership debates eclipsed all else in
the 2010 campaign, Cameron also wants to spread them over a longer
period this time round. The recovery is still fragile, and could yet stall.
The two coalition parties must carry out the trick,
unprecedented in modern times, of governing in
partnership but campaigning against one
another with increasing ferocity. In other
words: the road ahead is long, perilous and
riddled with lethal potholes.
Politics is not about being the
smartest guy in the room. As the CIA
director Leon Panetta, played by
James Gandolni, says in Zero Dark
Thirty: Were all smart, Jeremy. Ed
Miliband, Ed Balls, Cameron, George
Osborne, William Hague, Nick Clegg,
David Laws, Vince Cable... all these
men are clever, in some cases
formidably so. What marks out the
winners is the ability to go the distance, to
withstand the punch when others hit the
deck, to stay the course when the rest are
throwing in the towel, or gratefully seizing the golden
carriage clock of retirement.
The next election is the rst to be fought on a set date
under the Fixed-term Parliaments Act. We know that
polling day will be 7 May 2015 and little else besides.
Nobody knows how, in the modern era, a period of coalition affects
the subsequent general election. Milibands core thesis that the
centre ground has shifted to the Left has not been tested. The
impact of UKIP, especially in Tory marginals, is unpredictable. But of
this you can be sure. The epic race to come will be won not by speed,
but sheer, bloody-minded, indomitable toughness. I cant wait.
Matthew dAnconas In It Together: The Inside Story Of
TheCoalition Government (Viking Penguin, 25) is out now.
On 17 February 2011, Caroline Spelman, then the
environment secretary, had to give a humiliating
speech to the House of Commons. Five months
previously, she had proposed to sell of 258,000
hectares of state-owned forests, and Number
Tenhadnt realised until after the event. Her
announcement didnt exactly get a warm
reception. Eventually, the message came
fromthetop: kill it. I am sorry, Spelman
toldtheCommons. We got this one wrong.
The memoirs of the former advisor to
GordonBrown, Damian McBride, suggest
thatthisembarrassing U-turn was down to
mismanagement of the grid. The grid had
beenone of New Labours secret weapons and
has been kept in use by Brown and the coalition.
In short, its an attack plan: a couple of A4 sheets,
circulated weekly, tabulating each forthcoming
news item and policy announcement, allowing
future dangers to be identied and media
handling planned.
But the Conservative policy team stopped
attending grid meetings, so Spelmans gafe got
through unchecked. This was all of a piece with a
prime minister who was failing to communicate
what he stood for, which is exactly what the grid
exists to do.
Now, thats changing. Lynton Crosby, the
Australian political strategist brought in by David
Cameron to kick the party into shape for the 2015
general election, has placed core messages about
how the Tories are solving the economic crisis at
the heart of their operation, which, in turn, has
put the grid centre stage once again. Amateur
hour at Number Ten is over and, with it,
avoidable snafus like Spelmans. Charlie Burton
JANUARY 2014 G 159 Illustration Gluekit
COMEDY
BARELY a week goes by without the
comedy community being angered,
enlivened or provoked by something Stewart
Lee has said in a newspaper column, speech
or press interview. Whether hes slamming
the comics who sell their souls to the
corporate devil, the lazy hacks who spoon
feed their audience warm diarrhoea or
the agents who exploit their acts at the
Edinburgh Fringe, there is rarely a dull
moment when Lee is given a platform.
But last July, his lecture at an Oxford
writing festival about the use of joke
writers in comedy became a subject for the
national press. Why? Because it dispelled
the long-held myth that whenever you see
a comedian on a panel show, chat show or a
televised stand-up show they were delivering
anything other than their own witticisms.
Naming and shaming Jack Whitehall and
Frankie Boyle, Lee stated: I like to think
stand-up comedians who rely heavily on
writers will one day be stripped of whatever
artistic awards or nancial rewards they
received in their careers, like disgraced,
drug-taking Tour de France cyclists. You can
see that writers are being used in the change
of tone that you get with these kind of acts,
where there are often mutually incompatible
observations in them, or the point of view
seems to shift. You also know its the case
because no one could ll the amount of
space that they occupy without assistance.
However, this is nothing new. In the
Nineties there was an outcry when it was
Jesting times
GQs resident joker walks a tightrope on Set List, an improvisation
format that laughs in the face of formulaic panel shows
By James Mullinger
revealed that Have I Got News For You was
not entirely improvised. After appearing
on the show, Norman Tebbit wrote: These
people, they couldnt improvise live. You put
them on a stage, they wouldnt be able to
improvise. Panellist Paul Merton argued that
the show was simply a quiz show. Theres
been a lot of confusion, with people saying,
Well, they see the questions beforehand,
which we do, he said in 1999. But people
say we see the answers, which we dont,
because that would rob it of being a quiz.
But the issue that Stewart Lee has is not
with comedians being prepared, it is with
using paid writers to write in their voice. That
the comedians on Mock The Week are given
all of the subjects in advance so they can
road-test the material and make the show as
laugh-a-minute as it is, is not newsworthy.
But paying other people to make you funnier
is cheating, Lee believes. Just as it was when
Lance Armstrong took drugs to win races.
All of this debate explains the success
of Set List, a live stand-up gig in which
comedians improvise on topics that
appear on a screen behind them with no
preparation whatsoever. There are just two
rules set out by creator Troy Conrad: 1) Try
to do it seamlessly, and 2) Never fall back
on old material.
Set List began as a handful of comics led by
Conrad messing around in the back room of
Meltdown Comics in Los Angeles and in the
space of three years its grown to encompass
a 14-part television series (now on Sky
Atlantic) with major appearances at every
big comedy festival. When you go to a Set
List show you are seeing comedians doing
what they try to trick the audience into
thinking they are doing every other night in
their honed, well-prepared sets: namely, to
think of funny ideas on the spot. Renowned
comedian Paul Provenza, who championed
Conrads idea and with the help of LA
comedy producer Barbara Romen made
it the powerhouse it has become, states,
Asking a comedian to improvise an entire
set is like asking a magician to perform real
f***ing magic.
It is clear why audiences would want to see
stand-ups live and die by their own comedic
skills. But why would any comedian want to
risk it? As a struggling Todd Glass screams
during his televised Set List set: This is
terrible. This is the worst idea ever. But its
become a badge of honour for comedians. An
elite club of those who can. A backlash to the
scripted panel shows, the stand-ups touring
with the work of a team of writers. But that
doesnt make it any easier. It has been called
terrifying by Robin Williams and Eddie
Izzard has said, This Set List thing... is
f***ing hard!. So surely only a lunatic
would agree to do it? Well, thats exactly
why I decided to give it a go last July at
the Just For Laughs festival in Montreal.
After seven years performing stand-up,
I still love a challenge. Not a challenge in the
form of a poorly lit room, a dud compere or
a drunken heckler, but a challenge to my wits
as a stand-up. Am I actually funny? Romen
told me moments before I hit the stage to
just have fun with it. Thats what this is
all about. My rst topic oh, Lord was
Nipple Camp (sic) so I riffed about how
I had struggled with a nipple fetish as a
teenager, and that while other kids were
sent to fat camp, I was sent to nipple camp.
Frequent Crucixion Miles was another
subject, which led to a routine on carpenters
in Biblical times trying to drum up business.
One applause break came from the
suggestion that it could even have been
devised by Joseph.
I bounded off the stage buzzing like never
before. Most invigorating of all, as I walked
out of the audience area, Judah Friedlander
from 30 Rock (who performed after Eddie
Izzard, who followed me) st bumped me.
I didnt recall feeling this good since my
son was born. And this is why comedians
do Set List. And perhaps Stewart Lee is right.
Maybe those who use writers are cheats.
But its their loss. Because they will never
know what its like to feel this good.
Set List: Stand-Up Without A Net
isonSky Atlantic now. skyatlantic.
sky.com. Watch! James Mullingers
SetListset at gq.co.uk
Sink or swim:
Improvising on
Set List has
been called
terrifying by
Robin Williams
G JANUARY 2014
LITERATURE
WITH its distinctive, minimalist black
and white cover, Steve Jobs, Walter
Isaacsons biography of the Apple CEO, has
become ubiquitous two years after Jobs
death you still see people carrying it around
with pride. But despite the cult of Jobs, the
Apple story is rather one of several almost
magical collaborations.
Apple was cofounded in 1976 by Steve
Jobs and Steve Wozniak. Working out of
a garage in Palo Alto, California, the visionary,
entrepreneurial Jobs harnessed the creations
of his wizardly friend, convincing him that,
yes, they really should sell his invention the
Apple 1, not just share it with like-minded
techno-hippy buddies.
In the second Jobs reign at Apple, from
1996 to 2011, the injection of technology
into everyday life using as a conduit as Bono
famously put it sexy design, is the story
of Jobs relationship with his head of design,
the Briton Jonathan Ive. The invention and
success of the iPod, the iPhone and the iPad,
as well as the new Mac technology, reversed
Apples fortunes and as Leander Kahney
writes in Jony Ive: The Genius Behind
Apples Greatest Products (Portfolio
Penguin, 14.99) an English art-school grad
with dyslexia became the worlds leading
technology innovator.
Further reading
Go to gq-magazine.co.uk/ibooks
to download free samples of GQs
picks from the iBookstore
Hatching Twitter:
A True Story Of
Money, Power,
Friendship,
AndBetrayal
Nick BIlton
(Scepter, 14.99)
The New York
Times writer lifts
the lid on the
relationships
between Jack
Dorsey and the
three others who
helped found
Twitter. Someone
option this fast
things got even
more vicious than
at Facebook.
A Story Lately
Told: Coming Of
Age In Ireland,
London, And
NewYork
Anjelica Huston
(Simon & Schuster,
16.99)
The headlines will
be about Huston
dishing on Jack
Nicholson, but this
memoir makes for
athoughtful read.
Johnny Cash:
The Life
Robert Hilburn
(Orion, 20)
Hilburn conducted
the nal interview
with Cash and his
wife June before
their deaths in
2003 and was the
only journalist
present at the
Folsom Prison
concert. Thats what
you call access.
Thank You For
Your Service
David Finkel
(Scribe, 18.99)
The author of
TheGoodSoldiers
reconnects with
themany men
fromthe US
Infantry Battalion,
to produce this
knock-out account
of post-traumatic
stress after war.
Core values
An unofficial slice of Apples
softly spoken British
secret weapon, Jony Ive
By Olivia Cole
Kahney, a Brit who has written for Wired
and edits the blog cultofmac.com, begins his
account with an anecdote about the rst time
he met his subject at an industry event in
2003. The two expats had reminisced about
British pubs, the great newspapers, and how
much we missed British music (house music
in particular). After a few pints, though
I leapt up, realising I was late for an
appointment. I hurried off, leaving my laptop
bag... Well after midnight I ran into Jony
again, at a hotel bar across town. With great
surprise, I saw he was carrying my backpack.
Lugging around a reporters bag is not
a scenario you can imagine nding its way
into an account of the notoriously difcult
Steve Jobs. And if one of the great joys of
Isaacsons biography is the regularity with
which he writes, in accounts of signicant
meetings at Apple, Jobs began to cry,
its impossible to imagine Jobs determinedly
low-key designer throwing a similar kind
of tantrum.
The son of a design teacher, Ive grew up
in Chingford, Essex, and is the most famous
graduate of Newcastle Polytechnic. After
cofounding the Tangerine design agency in
London, he left for California and Apple in
1992, at the age of 25. In 2011, when Ive
and his wife thought about moving back
home, he was given a reported $30m (20m)
bonus to stay put, as well as shares worth
another $25m. Now known as Sir Jonathan
Ive, he has said that hes found the honour
something of a burden, at least on British
soil. In San Francisco it doesnt mean
anything and he can carry on at least
pretending that nobody knows quite
what a superstar he has become.
Doubtless deserving of an account of his
own, despite the friendly recollection with
which Kahney starts his tale, this is not
a book written with any kind of ofcial
access. Certainly, the adjectives that most
often accompany descriptions of Ive are
softly spoken and mild-mannered, but
Kahney who has a wide network in the
industry and has done a good, if gossipy,
job getting people to talk off the record
creates a fuller picture. For instance, in two
key power struggles with Apples chief
hardware engineer Jonathan Rubinstein,
and Scott Forstall (who ran Apples mobile
software) its the executives who were
ousted, cementing Ives position as Jobs
absolute successor.
Kahney does an excellent job of researching
the kind of start Ive had in design. Viewed
through the lens of Jobs, Apple is part of
an American design story a miniature
descendant of mid-century modern.
However, from a British perspective, theres
a real pleasure in discovering Ives own
inuences, from the necks of sunowers,
to Leica cameras and perhaps most aptly,
his beloved Aston Martin DB9. Despite the
astronomical production costs, Aston Martins
way of manufacturing (its technical term
for the process is the unibody technique)
became Apples method for producing
everything from the iPod to the ber-sleek,
aluminium, light-as-a-feather MacBook Air.
When the iPod was launched in 2001,
one newspaper called it the dening device
of this generations iWant-iNeed-iWish
gadgetophiles. Ten years on, with the world
at our ngertips, even the word gadget now
seems a quaint way to describe technologies
that have become part of everyday life.
If, after reading Kahneys account, you
feel that Ives story is deserving of a more
serious book, then its worth remembering
that Jobs chose a brilliant biographer
knowing that he probably didnt have long
to live and wanted his story, both light and
shade, to be told. His partner at Apple is still
at work creating if the man himself remains
mysterious, that seems a fair deal.
160
G JULY 2011 G JANUARY 2014
FILM FILM FILM
Fight clubs
This months leading men face some mighty challenges,
from dragons and the high seas to truly shocking hairstyles
Buddy movies are dead
long live the wolfpack
GQ salutes the hybrid genre that combines heists,
best friends and grown men behaving badly
American Hustle
Con-men and comb-overs
David O Russell follows Silver Linings
Playbook with another Jennifer
Lawrence/Bradley Cooper double-
header, this time joined by Christian
Bale. The latter plays a brilliant
con man working for an FBI agent
(Cooper) in Seventies New Jersey,
going undercover in one of the biggest
stings in American political history.
Expect reworks, and something
even more exciting: Bales horrendous
comb-over. SM Out on 20 December.
The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty
FX-rated comedy
This is a curious beast a special-
efects laden, mega-budget, set-
piece-heavy... er, comedy. Retelling
the James Thurber tale of an ofce
worker with a big imagination, Ben
Stillers Mitty (a Time magazine photo
archivist) dreams of bursting through
ice oes and fending of sharks, all
while lusting after co-worker Cheryl
(Kristen Wiig). But do you really want
to marvel and laugh simultaneously?
Probably not. SM Out on 26 December.
All Is Lost
Redford gets the silent treatment
Essentially a remake of Ernest
Hemingways The Old Man And
TheSea, this is remarkable for the
fact that Robert Redford is not only
thelead,but the sole actor in the
entirelm. With a virtually wordless
script consisting of only 30 pages,
Redfordis in tremendous Oscar form,
making the struggle of his lone sailor
consistently gripping. This is bound to
be in the running come award season.
John Naughton Out on 26 December.
Nebraska
Its better to travel...
Alexander Payne is a Hollywood rarity:
an auteur still dedicated to making
low-key character dramas when so
many have moved to TV. His latest
following The Descendants sees
asenile man, convinced hes won a
sweepstake, travelling cross-country
with his son to collect it. Sufce to
say,this is all about small moments
ofrevelation rather than stark choices,
and proves that adult drama is not
dead yet. SM Out on 6 December.
The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug
Way of the dragon
As usual, no early screenings for the
second part of Peter Jacksons Hobbit
trilogy, but we know what to expect:
epic scenery, scary monsters, plenty
offrowning from Martin Freeman and
a peculiar little rat-man saying My
precious! a lot. The most exciting
bit,however, is the full appearance of
Benedict Cumberbatchs voice and the
motion-captured dragon, Smaug. And
yes, hell knock it out of the park. SM
Out on 13 December.
The Armstrong Lie
Yellow belly
In 2009, Alex Gibney started
chartingLance Armstrongs Tour
deFrance comeback. But by the
timethedocumentary was nished,
evidence ofthe Texans systematic
doping ofences was revealed. Yet as
compelling as this lm is, Gibney does
not succeed in either truly nailing his
subject, nor getting him to elicit any
real contrition. As fascinating and
frustrating as Armstrong himself.
PaulHenderson Out on 31 January.
WELCOME to the age of the wolfpack. This month, the
Anchorman guys are back in Anchorman 2: The Legend
Continues (out on 20 December), Ron Burgundy still strides
around as if doors must be head-butted open, journalism
still revolves around having great TV hair, and sexual
innuendo is a good, strong clasp of a buttock. Apart from
promising to be the funniest lm of the year, it also sees the
guys make a trip to start over again in New York, and thus
putting it in whats becoming a well-worn category: the
all-male wolfpack adventure.
Having kicked off with The Hangover in 2009, the wolfpack
adventure goes OAP next month (3 January) with Last Vegas,
in which four aged friends, including Robert DeNiro and
Morgan Freeman, reunite for one last Vegas bash after the
news that one of them (Michael Douglas) is getting married
(again). Cue... well, you can imagine. Tonight were going to
party like its 1959! they shout at one point.
A bastard hybrid between the traditional heist ick
a ragtag crew getting together for one last gig and the buddy
movie, the rise of the wolfpack adventure has also seen the
creation of the female version (lets call it the panther pack).
Its girls gone (sort of) wild, in the form of Bridesmaids and,
more recently, Bachelorette, the latter of which sees Isla
Fisher, Kirsten Dunst and Lizzy Caplan cocaine tornado-ing
their way around New York before learning the error of their
ways and (almost) growing up.
And, of course, growing up is the point with both. At their
core, theyre really coming-of-age tales, just ones for adults, in
an age when men and women in their mid-thirties can still be
kids, and its only by going stupidly crazy that they see it.
Or, as Ron Burgundy would say, That escalated quickly.
Stuart McGurk
Sex panthers:
Ron Burgundy
and co hit
New York City
162
If youre dressing for a
black-tie event in the coming
weeks, at Richard James we do
our own evening suit with a bit
of an edge. Instead of black
or midnight blue, this winter
were doing green, electric
blue and burgundy. Theyre
wool-mohair fabrics, so great
for those who feel like a
dance... theres always one.
You could wear this with a
black shirt rather than a bow
tie and white evening shirt.
That will make it less formal
but youll still look dressy. I
always think people are scared
of resembling a waiter in these
situations. With this, youre not
going to look like a waiter. Its
an elegant and well-cut suit.
So thats one look. Another
statement for the party season,
or for going to events, is velvet.
At this time of year, velvet is
very popular, as a suit or just
a jacket, in colours like green,
purple or strong blue. You
could even team a velvet jacket
with denim. I see people
buying velvet and wearing it
during the day with bashed-
out jeans, but in the evening,
velvet makes everything smart.
From our point of view,
everything we do has a strong
feeling of good taste its
ultimately elegant, but just
a bit different.

Join the Chivas Society at
chivas.com/SavileRow
With the Chivas and Savile Row Bespoke
partnership, stylish evenings are covered.
Sean Dixon, MD and co-founder of Richard James,
chooses key looks for a busy party season
Enjoy Chivas responsibly
Show friends and family
that youre a man of
substance by giving them
smooth, rich Chivas Regal
12 Year Old this Christmas.
Chivas can be enjoyed neat
or in a cocktail. 25.49
for 700ml. whiskyshop.com
G Promotion
Beyond measure
Smooth and
full-bodied, with
multi-dimensional,
complex avours,
Chivas is a luxurious
starting point for
both long and short
drinks. The Purity
cocktail, created by
Walter Pintus, head
bartender at the
Ritz, enhances
Chivas subtle notes
of vanilla and orange.
Puritys ingredients
give an initial burst
of spiciness, which is
quickly supplanted
by fresh oral and
lemon avours and
a hint of peppery
sharpness. Increase
the measures
accordingly to make
several drinks for a
truly stylish evening.
Purity cocktail
Ingredients
45ml Chivas Regal
12 Year Old
20ml apple juice
10ml ginger syrup
15ml dry sherry
Zest of lemon
Dash of vanilla
bitters
Method
1. Mix all the
ingredients in a
mixing glass with
plenty of ice. Ice
will chill the drink
but wont over-
dilute the taste.
2. Pour into
a cobbler glass
and garnish with
lemon peel.
WHAT TO WEAR
WHAT TO DRINK
Fashion taste
WHAT TO GIFT
Tailored choice
For more cocktail inspiration, go to youtube.
com/ChivasRegalUK to watch Walter prepare
Purity and see the cocktails that Londons
other top bartenders have created.
Beggars belief:
A Romanian Gypsy
inMarble Arch,
belongings in
tow,iswoken by the
police and sent to
meet immigration
ofcers, 19 July 2013
Impoverished, inscrutable and since 2011, when they started
to arrive in Londons Marble Arch the scourge of the police and
the tabloids, Romanias Roma are part of the most reviled ethnic
minority in Europe. Now, as EU laws change, the UK will become
their refuge. GQ meets the Gypsies preparing to travel here
Story by SAM KNIGHT Photographs by BRAN SYMONDSON
SPECIAL REPORT
JANUARY 2014 G
THE ROMA OF PARK LANE
165
G JANUARY 2014
I
ts getting late. Its 10pm, and under the
streetlights near Marble Arch, buses circle
the fountains as a man from Westminster
Council is doing his best as politely
as he is able to persuade a group
of Romanian Gypsies to get the hell out of
his neighbourhood.
Im sitting watching the ofcial from a grass
slope with Marius and Ioanna, two young
Roma to use their proper name whove been
sleeping rough in London for a few months.
Ioanna is rather beautiful and wearing a head-
scarf. She makes money cleaning cafs in the
West End, she says, enough to send 50 or 70
a month back to Romania. Marius has been
having a tougher time. He came in the winter,
after construction work dried up in Milan, and
hes been squatting with another man in an
empty house up the road in Marylebone. He is
wearing a heavy, white Dolce & Gabbana-style
sweater that says Delicious & Gorgeous on it.
Marius gives long, lyrical shrugs when I ask him
questions. There are good people between us,
he says. But we are all considered thieves.
The man from the council his name is Nik
Ward has a translator with him, turning his
words into Romanian, but hes enunciating
in English anyway, as if by force of emphasis
alone he can break through the separation of
centuries. We dont think its OK for you to live
on the streets, he says. Hmm? Its not good.
Its not good for your bodies. Its not good for
your heads. There are about 30 Gypsies around
Marble Arch tonight, and they are standing
round with all their junk the suitcases, the
plastic stools, the beer bottles, the House Of
Fraser bags, the KFC wrappers, the accordion
which has been driving the council crazy for
18 months now. We must stop you guys from
begging and sleeping on the streets, and going
into bars, says Ward. How are we going to
do that?
Some of the Roma relent. A few of the older
ones, some obviously ill, get into a van to go
to a shelter for the night. But the rest just
let Ward talk. Marius is eating a McFlurry.
Costas, sitting next to him, carefully spits on
the grass. Ioanna leans over to me. Can you
help me build a house? She is 23, pregnant,
and wants to have the child in Britain. Ward is
still talking. We cant help you, until you start
paying your taxes...
Courtesy of the ever-expanding European
Union, the UK, and London, are nally waking
up to one of Europes biggest embarrassments:
that after the better part of a thousand years,
our continent still does not know how to live
at peace with its largest ethnic minority. The
Roma started to arrive in Greece, mysteriously,
from India, some time after the tenth century
the last ancient migration from Asia. Now, in
the second decade of the 21st century, their
population in the EU is estimated at anywhere
between six and 12 million people. Everywhere
they are impoverished and unemployed; and
most of us know next to nothing about them.
Sure, weve had some Gypsies in this country
for a long time. The rst band arrived in 1505.
In 1554, they were given a month to leave, or
they would face execution. A few dared to stay
even fewer survived and became the UKs
small traveller community, who number in the
tens of thousands today. Its not been a happy
story but with the exception of the odd high-
prole eviction, or reality-TV show, it rarely
punctures the national imagination either.
That is about to change. The Gypsies around
Marble Arch are Romanian, and from 1 January
2014 all Romanian and Bulgarian citizens will
be entitled to live and work in the UK. Romania
has Europes largest population of Roma (con-
fusingly, the words Roma and Romania have
nothing to do with one another): somewhere
Earlier this year, the Home Ofce commissioned
a 60-page report about the likely impact of
Romanians and Bulgarians arriving in the UK
after 2014. The section on the Roma, who
number around three million in the two
countries, ran to two paragraphs.
So they are, for most of us, largely
abstract people. Until they turn up in your
neighbourhood. On an electric-blue morning,
I turn into Bryanston Square, a few streets
north of Marble Arch. Its like the opening of
Mrs Dalloway here. White stucco mansions
overlook a private, green rectangle of lawn.
Removal men are unloading furniture wrapped
in brown paper. A woman, with her personal
trainer, stretches under the trees. A taxi driver
is asleep in his cab.
Sharon Walvin manages 40 ats in the streets
around the square, working from a basement
ofce on its northern side. The rst she knew
about the new Gypsy presence was when a
tenant reported that two friends had been
mugged walking up the street to supper. That
was last autumn. Since then, Walvins ofce has
been burgled twice and shes been dreaming of
ways to stop the Roma from climbing into the
squares enclosed garden each night to sleep and
shit in the bushes. This morning, two men had to
be kicked off the basement steps of number 29.
We all feel very safe here, says Walvin. Or we
did. She doesnt like working late on her own
any more, and is afraid to approach the Gypsies
when she sees them. They stand their own,
she says. Im sure they could sort me out.
Marylebone and Mayfair might be wealthy,
but its not old-fashioned England. All of
Walvins tenants are foreign. Her parents came
from British Guiana in 1959. People know about
immigration here, the trade-offs of hard work
and cultural integration and the Gypsies in
the square are unsettling precisely because
they dont seem interested in that. They are
different to us, says Walvin. They are not
here for that reason. Shes not convinced they
are simply desperate either. They look well fed.
She thinks they go through the bins, looking
for peoples credit-card information to sell. I
hesitate to say this, but theyve got this sort of
feral, pack-like approach. This is the way they
live. This is their life.
T
he police have been watching the
Roma on Marble Arch since the very
rst few arrived, in November 2011.
There was talk at the time that they
turned up with maps, suggesting
that the spot had been carefully chosen. One
of Marble Archs many advantages is that it
gives on to Edgware Road, which is popular
with tourists from the Middle East, who nd
it hard not to give to begging Muslims. (The
Roma women disguise themselves with head-
scarves.) Ever since, ofcers have wondered
about the level of organisation within the
group, and whether it is connected with more
serious crimes, such as human trafcking or
between two and three million people. The
British tabloids, reecting a fear of another
wave of immigration from eastern Europe,
have used images of the band in Marble Arch
as the rst sign of the inux to come. What will
happen when the last barriers to these coun-
tries come down?
The truth is that we dont know. Its hard
enough to predict what the majority of
Bulgarians and Romanians are going to do,
and the Gypsies are the shadow inside that
puzzle. Wary of perceived racism, European
governments and police forces tend not to
collect data on particular ethnic groups. The
Roma are careful about declaring their identity,
too. Having a high prole has never helped them
in the past. Huge numbers were killed during
the Holocaust, and in the summer of 2010,
President Nicolas Sarkozy was condemned by
the Pope and the UN when he snapped and
ordered the bulldozing of at least 50 Roma
camps and the deportation of thousands from
the edge of French cities.
As a result, rm evidence about the Roma
is often lost in the broader march of statis-
tics about European nationalities as a whole.
166
JANUARY 2014 G
child

prostitution. Hierarchical networks of
beggars and street thieves run by Gypsies, for
Gypsies have been on the rise in big European
cities for the last decade: in Rome, in Milan, in
Paris, in Madrid. London is a logical next target.
Having spent day after day with the Gypsies
this summer, I nd they are never more than a
few hours from their next visit from the police
or their next arrest for begging. Marius calls out
the only English words he knows Relax!
and Hello, boys! as the ofcers pull on blue
latex gloves and start photographing and going
through the groups possessions. Romanian
nationals (the numbers are not broken down
by ethnicity) were responsible for half the
begging and a third of the pickpocket offences
in London last year, and one afternoon, as he
searches the group, a plain-clothes cop says to
me, Its like anything: youve got your foot
soldiers and then your guys on top. If you prove
yourself, you move up. Thats how it works.
Chief inspector Louise Puddefoot, who runs
Operation Chefornak, the Metropolitan Polices
attempt to get a handle on the Roma in the
West End, says that after the best part of two
years, her team is still trying to figure out
exactly what theyre up against. There can be
dozens of small groups of Gypsies on Oxford
Street and in Mayfair and Marylebone on any
given day. Some commute in from Walthamstow
and Redbridge to beg and run scams. Its not
clear whether they are linked to the group
at Marble Arch, whether some of the Roma
are here against their will, or if anyone is in
charge. We dont know, is the answer, says
Puddefoot, in her ofce on Savile Row. The
money is going somewhere, put it that way.
When people get arrested, its very rare that we
nd the proceeds of their days work.
When I ask the Roma myself, the stories
never add up. The men and women at Marble
Arch always insist they met each other
coincidentally in London, but almost all of
them turn out to be from the same, relatively
small corner of northeastern Romania, around
a city called Botosani. They say they have no
money, but the police impounded 3,000 from
the group on 11 April this year. Their explana-
tions for the money are vague: Marius says the
cash was wired from Romania, to pay for tickets
home, and produces a receipt from a money
transfer shop in Botosani for 1,190. But it is
dated 24 January 2013, before he turned up in
London, and before the group are supposed to
have met each other.
What is clear is that the people sleeping
rough and begging in one of Britains richest
neighbourhoods are marked by the poverty and
the exclusion of the lives they have lived. They
say they want jobs and one evening I ask four
Roma girls in their early twenties, and a burly
young man, called Florin, about their hopes
for their new lives in the UK. They are excited,
and could be immigrants from anywhere in
the world, but only one in four Roma children
nish school in Romania, and their ambitions
turn out to be strangely simple. Florin wants
to sweep the streets. The girls want to clean
hotels. Dont give me a computer, one says.
Ill hurt myself.
Intrigued yet also somewhat suspicious, that
night I ask Marius if I can go back to Romania
and meet his family in Botosani. He gives one
of his shrugs. He says hes thinking of giving up
on London anyway. We dont have anything
to hide, he says. We dont have a palace. He
gives me his mothers phone number, and goes
to nd somewhere to sleep.
Tricks of the raid: Ofcers are briefed (top left) prior to the 19 July 2013 dawn blitz on the Romas around Marble Arch, where immigration statuses were
checked and all wereofered free ights home. The police targeted the group at 4am, while many were sleeping. Only 20 accepted the return journey home
167
G JANUARY 2014
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I
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W
e find Marius mother and
brother on the side of the
road. Theyve come down
to the middle of Hlipiceni, a
village on the edge of the hills
about 30 miles southeast of Botosani, to ag
down the car. I think Iliana, Marius mother,
is in her mid-fties, until I nd out she is 39.
Daniel, meanwhile, is 17 and dressed for a day
out at a Monte-Carlo beach club: crisp shorts,
V-neck golf sweater, at cap, white loafers. Its
just after three oclock on a weekday afternoon
in one of the poorest parts of rural Romania.
Geese are walking down the middle of the road.
Marius family live in a two-room house
perched on a small, triangular plot. It is tidy,
and painted pink and yellow. The only trace of
the familys old Gypsy life they were travel-
ling musicians a couple of generations back
are a few images of bears on blankets, and a
photograph of Marius dead father, laid out in
his fedora. When communism arrived in 1945,
like most Romanian Roma, they became farm
labourers and worked in the local collective.
Since 1991, they have eked out a living as hired
hands, growing a few onions in the garden.
Sometimes, Daniel makes 15-20 Romanian Lei
(about 3 or 4) unloading a lorry in the village,
but every piece of family expenditure is an
obstacle. Its summer, and they are wondering
how they will get together 300 Lei (about 60)
to buy wood for winter.
It is impossible for us, says Iliana. There
are days when we dont have money for bread.
She speaks quietly. Every few minutes, she is
drowned out by a horse and cart going past on
the road. At times it seems like the loudest thing
in the room is the pregnant belly of Daniels
15-year-old wife, Maria. Another mouth to
feed. Daniel will go on the road soon, like his
brother. It is our only chance, says Maria. He
cannot help me from here.
that her house is slipping on its foundations,
year by year, into the road below.
Marius, too, preys on her mind. I am not
sure how he is coping, she says. Unlike when
he was in Italy, Marius has not been able to
send any money home since he arrived in the
UK. But Iliana denies strongly that he is part
of an organised begging or criminal enterprise.
I told him, Just go to beg, do whatever you can
to make a living, says Iliana. But dont steal.
We are not that kind of people.
I
ts not as if there isnt a plan to help the
Roma in eastern Europe. In 2002, the
United Nations Development Programme,
which assists some of the poorest people
on earth, found that, in terms of illiteracy,
infant mortality and malnutrition, most of the
regions Roma endure living conditions closer to
those of sub-Saharan Africa than to Europe.
Since then, more than 25bn (21bn) has been
made available by the EU to improve their lives.
The problem is that nothing has changed.
In Romania, around a decade on, according to
almost every social measurement you can possi-
bly think of employment, education, income,
access to the internet, size of house, frequency
of rubbish collection, life expectancy, poverty
Gypsies are worse off. Despite the efforts of
international organisations and Roma charities,
there is a stubborn, perceptible gap between the
two populations.
I am struck, talking to Romanian ofcials,
by how worn out they seem by the problem.
Part of that is down to a general, national
malaise. Romania has had a tough time during
the economic crisis. But it is also a country that
is emptying itself. Between three to four million
Romanians, out of what used to be a popula-
tion of 22 million, are currently working abroad.
(That would be the equivalent of the emigra-
tion of ten million people from the UK.)

A lot of Romanians are poor. The average
income is less than 6,000 per year, and closer
to 4,000 in places such as Botosani. Across
the country, however, Gypsies tend to be
even poorer than their neighbours. Where a
Romanian is nearly dead, as the saying goes,
a Roma will be already burned.
People disagree about whether Gypsies really
have different needs to the rest of the popu-
lation, though. Marking them out for special
treatment can just lead to other problems.
Marius family are convinced, however, that
their situation is a result of their history. Some
of the oldest records of the Roma in Romania
are from near Botosani, from the 14th century.
(The name Romania, by the way, comes from
the Romans. Roma probably comes from the
Rom or Dom, a travelling underclass in
India.) The strange wanderers from Asia were
slaves for ve centuries in Romania, traded
between monasteries and local lords like pots
and pans: a girl for two copper bowls; a lame
one for a jar of honey.
When they were freed, in 1863, the Gypsies
of eastern Europe began their second great
migration, after their explorations of the Middle
Ages, before being settled under communism.
Most Roma in Romania refer to this period
fondly now. They had houses, and jobs. In the
chaos of the Nineties, though, they slipped back
to the bottom of the pile. Farms and businesses
that had been seized by the state reverted to
their former private owners, and Gypsies were
squeezed out again. The land was given back
to the people, says Iliana. We have nothing.
Iliana is sick of being told that Gypsies
should try harder to join mainstream society.
The family have simply never had the money.
Marius left school after two years, at the age
of eight; Daniel at 13. What are my options?
she asks. People think we should change, but
into what? Ilianas main concern, she says, is
Homeward bound (from left): Roma Nation Day is celebrated in London to show unity in the face of widespread discrimination against migrants, 7April 2013;
a group of 283 Roma are sent packing back to Bucharest by the French government from Paris and Lyon airports, 26 August 2010
168
CHANGE. YOU CAN.
www.ice-watch.com facebook.com/ice.watch
G JANUARY 2014
P
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Everybody who stays is thinking, We are
the last stupids that remain here, a Romanian
journalist tells me. All the clevers went out.
In that context, addressing even the most basic
social questions can seem overwhelming. Of
the 4.5bn (3.8bn) that Romania has received
from the EU in the last six years to help develop
the country in all areas, around 90 per cent
remains unspent.
And then there are the bloody Gypsies. I
rarely get to ask more than a question or two
before Romanian ofcials mayors, teachers,
police ofcers, councillors launch into lec-
tures about the Roma mentality and how
impossible they are to deal with. I cannot
say what they are planning, said the sub-
prefect of Botosani, Sebastian Tocariu. Maybe
tomorrow they will go to New York! There is
their dishonesty; their dependency on state
hand-outs; their uncontrollable nomadism (a
phenomenon which I found strange to hear
about in a country where almost everyone
is thinking of moving abroad). But what Im
hearing, I am assured, is not racism.
If we talk bad about them, its like when
you talk about someone who is not as smart
as you, a polite female police inspector in
Bucharest tries to explain to me one day. We
dont necessarily discriminate against them. You
see the difference? Because they are ours... It
is like, They are ours! We dont see them as a
completely different kind. And not all of them
are bad.
After a while, I get the impression of two
communities giving up on each other. I go
and see Viorel Achim, a Romanian histori-
an who has studied the Romas seven cen-
turies in the country. He says he used to be
more optimistic, and dreamt of the
rise of a Gypsy middle class, who
would set standards of education
and prosperity that the rest of their
people would follow. Now, he
said, I think not. Instead, Achim
says, the opening borders of the EU
are the answer, a way to balance
the relative concentration of Roma in eastern
Europe, and their scarcity in countries to the
north and west. They will fan out across the
continent. This is the third great migration,
he says, referring to the waves of Gypsy move-
ment in the 15th and 19th centuries, and this
is just the beginning.
I hear much the same thing, albeit more
crudely, in Botosani. Talking about the Gypsies
in Park Lane one day, a councillor in the city
basically wishes them good riddance. This is
your time to know them, she says.
That evening I go to a tower block in a neigh-
bourhood of the city known as the Parcul
Tineretului, which has become, in recent years,
a Roma ghetto. As soon as we get out of the
car, we are surrounded by people calling out
the names of the places they have been in
Europe: Polonia! Germania! Franta! Spania!
Italia! There are broken windows and a dirty
patch of ground where children are playing. It
is getting dark, and we go upstairs with a Roma
man called Manix, who is in charge of the build-
ing. There are no lights in the corridors, which
smell of excrement. If he didnt have his job,
Manix says, hed already be in London. The
room lls up with Gypsies of all ages to watch
us talk. You are going to be seeing a lot more
of us in the future, says Manix. Were going to
beg, do whatever we can. Anything to escape.
T
here are points of light; of course
there are. One night in Bucharest
I sit down with Damian Draghici,
who is Romanias most famous
Gypsy, and now the prime minis-
ters advisor on Roma affairs. Draghici made it
big as a musician, playing jazz in the US on the
pan ute, a beloved instrument in Romania.
He was courted for years by successive gov-
ernments, looking to put a presentable face on
their Roma policies, until last June,
when he decided to cast his lot in
with Victor Ponta, the countrys
41-year-old, energetic new leader.
Draghici is a senator now, and he
turned up shaven-headed in a sharp
blue suit. He is also on the warpath.
Draghici spent his first six
months in office visiting 162 projects that
were supposed to be helping Gypsies, and tore
up Romanias national Roma strategy in the
process. Some of his ercest criticisms have
been for Roma-run NGOs, which have swal-
lowed up tens of millions of euros in EU funds,
often with few discernible results. That was the
worst for me, he says. But the money, rather
than arriving to the grass roots, was getting
spent on human resources: buying a nice build-
ing, getting nice computers, getting nice cars,
getting nice salaries... If you want to run a busi-
ness, open a supermarket. I dont care.
Draghicis new plan relies on at least some of
Romanias Gypsies having the nerve to confront
each other about knotted, painful questions
within their community. You know where I
rst felt discriminated? Draghici asks me. In
my house! When I was six years old. The rst
time I went to school, they said, Be careful,
because you are not like them. You are not like
the gadje [non-Roma]. You are a Roma. You
are more stupid. You are an idiot... That is the
biggest problem. The Roma impose on them-
selves the inferiority complex. I hear that
phrase so many times talking about the Roma
in Romania, and it describes the young men and
women, and their stunted dreams, on Marble
Arch. I think the worst sickness, the cancer of
the soul, is getting the inferiority complex, said
Draghici. It wont let you do anything, ever.
Before he leaves, Draghici tells me about a
Roma mayor in the south of Romania, called
Mihai Ioana, who is trying to stop Gypsies from
deserting his district to go off to the streets of
Europe to beg and steal. It is a difcult thing to
do, and Draghici respects him for it. The man
who risks everything, risks everything, he said.
The man who doesnt take a chance, doesnt
have a chance. The next day we drive out of
Bucharest to meet him.
There are more Gypsies in Romanias south-
ern counties, including many of the countrys
most prosperous clans and families. On the
way to Ioanas village of Gradinari, we pass
some of their pagoda-like mansions: architec-
tural fantasias with blue roofs, lining the road.
Romanias rich Roma are an object of fascina-
tion for everyone, gadje and Gypsy. Some of
them have transformed traditional Roma crafts
such as coppersmithing, or horse trading
into successful, 21st-century businesses, such
as metal trading, or car dealerships. But there
is a lot of organised crime as well, in networks
that operate across Europe: human and drug
trafcking, credit-card fraud. When we get to
Ioanas rather large, brand-new mayors ofce,
we nd him on his own. There is a catalogue
for ploughs and tractors on his desk.
Its a dream for the Roma kids to get out of
here, says Ioana. And thats not good for the
people here and the countries they are going
to. The mayor is a soft, approachable man
in his fties. What he describes reminds me
of Hlipiceni, and what I heard from Marius
family. It doesnt add up for the Gypsies in his
district to stay. While most of the Romanians
have at least some land that they owned, or
some education, most of the Roma live as
day labourers, earning 30 to 40 Romanian
Lei (6-8) per day. In 2007, when Romania
joined the EU, the Gypsies started to leave.

Hard line: Marius,
aMarble Arch Roma,
sends money back to
his family in Hlipiceni,
Romania Iliana, his
mother, Daniel, his
brother, and Daniels
wife Maria, 15
170
The pleasure continues on youtube.com/nespresso
Pure pleasure
is inside.
G JANUARY 2014

For the rst time, I hear a Roma man willing
to describe the system that has evolved to help
them do it. Without funds or sufcient quali-
cations even literacy, in many cases to access
the normal routes for Romanian migrants,
Gypsies have come to rely on local camatar
(money lenders) and mules to get them across
Europe. Theres nothing fancy about it. A mule
might just be a guy with a car. But the deals
tend to be long-term. Roma normally travel
for free out of Romania, with their travel a
few hundred euros, the interest ticking away
to be paid back over a number of years. Once
they get to Spain or Italy or Germany, the most
popular destinations until recently, the Roma
seek the protection of a local boss, a gure that
Ioana calls the seful de platz, literally chief of
the square. For a cut of everything they make,
known as taxes, the seful de platz sorts them
out with a job, a place to stay, sometimes even
food to eat. More often than not, though, this
is just a place to beg. They are ashamed, says
Ioana. They come back and say that they
worked. No one admits that they beg.
The mayor is desperate to come up with
ways to stop the Roma from leaving his dis-
trict. With just a bit of investment from the
government some new agricultural machin-
ery, for example he believes that wages in the
village might improve. (Gradinari is famous for
its cabbages.) But in the meantime, the local
economy is in a downward spiral. There is not
enough manpower, quality is going down.
Ioana is also spending more of his time helping
his constituents deal with money lenders,
and other unhappy knock-on effects of their
adventures in Europe.
We leave his ofce and go down the road
to Gradinaris only caf. A red pool table sits
under a thin canopy of leaves. Its the end of
the working day, and around a dozen Roma
have gathered there, their hands dirty from the
elds. They have all been abroad in Europe at
one time or another in recent years, and Ioana
asks them, point blank, in turn, Did you beg?
Did you beg? Yes, each replies. Did you
beg? Yes. He goes round the whole group,
and the men volunteer a few details of their
lives abroad. A tall Roma man in a black jumper
ended up paying a mule 2,000 (1,690) for
a ride to Germany. A man who worked on a
farm outside Milan paid a cut of his salary to
the local seful de platz for ve years. A man
who begged for two years in Sardinia, called
Petruscu, suddenly drops to his knees, inclines
his head and puts his hand out, his body shaped
by muscle memory. This is hard work, he says.
I did this for ten or 12 hours a day.
I ask if it is really necessary to migrate in such
an expensive and punishing way. You have to
pay. You know from the outset. You know from
before you go away, says a man called Stoian,
who has begged in Madrid, and Foggia in Italy.
If I had the money to go on the bus on my own
I would, says Petrescu. But even if I had, I
would still have to afliate myself with a platz.
Everywhere is controlled. When I tell the men
about the Gypsies around Marble Arch, their
immediate reaction is of slight dismay. London
is, without question, the next destination for
the Gypsies in Gradinari, and this sounds like a
good platz. But they gure it must be controlled
by Roma they have no connection with. Right
now, in England, this thing is still very much at
the beginning, so there is competition for the
better places, explains Stoian. We would only
go if we already knew somebody there, other-
wise it is just impossible.
In the end, we are just talking about eco-
nomics. The push and pull of money. The men
reckon a day of begging in a wealthy European
city could be bring in about 40 (34) four
times what they get for a days work in the
cabbage elds maybe more in London. Sure,
they have been told some crazy things about
Britain. There is a rumour that if they turn up
with their families, they will get 2,500 (2,112)
in benets straight away to get them started.
(Not true.) But even if that isnt the case and
even if they have to pay way over the odds to
get here; and even if they have loan sharks on
their backs wherever they end up; and even if
a little cut of what they make goes to a seful
and he hangs over them for years the amazing
thing is that it still, just about, just enough,
beats staying where they were. Its worth a
shot. It might be weird, says a handsome
Rom called Vijay, but thats why were going.
The financial logic is what makes Mayor
Ioanas task the campaign to ght the third
great Gypsy migration so difcult. Its like
holding back the wind. On my last day in
Romania, I go to a shelter, in the far western
city of Timisoara, that intervenes in cases of
human trafcking. For the last three years,
the shelter, which is run by a charity called
Generatie Tanara Romania, has had a contract
with the French government, trying to assist
Gypsies often children who have been
caught up in begging and prostitution rings
against their will. But it is rarely, if ever, a simple
matter, nding the line between the freedom to
move and the compulsion to do so. What sounds
and looks like organised crime to us is still a way
to change your life. Do Marius and his brother
want to leave their mother, and her house falling
into the road? Would the Gypsies of Gradinari
prefer to grow cabbages? Is it even up to them?
Migration, trafcking, for them maybe it is the
same thing, says Francisc Csizmarik, one of the
case workers at the shelter.
It is raining gently, but Csizmarik wants to
take us out for a short drive. Within a minute
or two, we are passing the astonishing mansions
of Timisoaras rich Roma. Csizmarik used to be
an investigative journalist, and as we go past
each house the alarmed fences, the columned
facades, the yellow, Gypsy chteaux he calls
out, This from begging. This from smuggling.
This from doing stuff with cars. These are the
rewards of the camatars, the biggest seful de
platz. Csizmarik explains that even when the
shelter does manage to persuade Gypsies that
they might have been trafcked, or exploited, it
is impossible to get them to testify against their
persecutors. We drive past, our eyes drawn to
the foreign licence plates. Germany. Italy. A
British blue Mercedes C-Class. These guys have
nothing to do with the poor Gypsies. They just
exploit them, says Csizmarik. We pause outside
yet another Scarface pile. Do you think they
are discriminated? He asks from the front seat.
Who is discriminated here?
I
t is a perfect summer evening, the last time
I stop by to talk to the Gypsies in Mayfair.
They are gathered on Park Lane, in the
central reservation, a cluster of about 50
by now, under the plane trees. Among
the Gypsies, a Roma man is lying on his back,
looking up the sky, playing a simple song on
the accordion. Marius is there. The police are
still giving the group a hard time, he says. He is
still thinking of leaving. But I notice that Marius
has a summer outt now. The Dolce & Gabbana-
style sweater is gone. Now he is wearing chinos,
espadrilles and a blue velvet jacket. He has a
bottle of shower gel in his pocket. Hes also
been joined by a friend from Hlipiceni, who
smiles and gives his name as Vasil.
It is clear that something has changed. I have
come too many times, asked too many questions.
Ioanna, in particular, is hostile now and accuses
me of spying. Perhaps a dozen Roma come and
stand around. No one is aggressive, but no one
wants to talk either. I remember a phrase that
one of the police ofcers used. The shutters
come down. Over the heads of the group, I
notice two better-dressed Roma men, who I have
not seen before, approach one of the elders from
Botosani. They talk for a minute, and then dis-
appear into the London rush hour. I ask Marius
if there was a seful de platz in Marble Arch, and
whether I can meet him. His eyes never waver.
We dont have anything like that here.
Uncle Suleymans Army (Sam Knight, March 2013)
On The Ground In Dagestan (Sam Knight, GQ.co.uk,
April 2013)
Welcome To Britain: Please Use Carefully
(Tony Parsons, July 2013)
MORE
FROM GQ
For these related stories, visit
GQ.co.uk/magazine
172
Everything I
do now will
have avours
of Sherlock.
Everyone wants
those dark,
complicated
antiheroes
JANUARY 2014 G 175
CUMBERBATCH
A third series of Sherlock, three new lms and the world
on his shoulders. The man whos cheated death more
often than his famous alter ego is just getting started...
By Stuart McGurk
PHOTOGRAPHS BY PLATON
Styling by Lisa Williams
The many lives of
BENEDICT
CUMBERBATCH
Coat, 3,495. Three-piece suit,
3,195. Shirt, 285. Tie, 145.
All by Ralph Lauren Purple
Label. ralphlauren.com
A third series of Sherlock, three new lms and the world
on his shoulders. The man whos cheated death more
often than his famous alter ego is just getting started...
By Stuart McGurk
PHOTOGRAPHS BY PLATON
Styling by Lisa Williams
The many lives of
BENEDICT
CUMBERBATCH
G JANUARY 2014
These seismic
events give you
perspective on
mortality, on the
sacredness of it.
Just to enjoy the
ride of being alive
Depending on your point of view, Benedict
Cumberbatch has almost died on ve separate
occasions. The rst (hypothermia) occurred
when he was a baby. The second (bomb explo-
sion), when he was a student. The third (dehy-
dration and starvation), when he was on his
gap year. The fourth saw him taken hostage,
tied up, bundled into the boot of a car, driven
to an unknown location, forced to the ground
on his knees and the cold muzzle of a gun
trained on the back of his head. He never
heard the shot of a bullet, but then, of course,
he never would have.
By that point, he was an actor. But none of
the above is ction.
And yet, when people think of Benedict
Cumberbatch, its likely the only near-death
experience that comes to mind is the fth
one, the one that didnt actually happen at
least, not to Cumberbatch. Its the one at the
end of the second series of Sherlock, where the
37-year-old, who will be seen in no less than
three Hollywood lms in the next two months,
leapt from the top of St Bartholomews hospi-
tal, trademark Belstaff greatcoat apping in the
wind, and seemingly plummeted to his death
only, of course, to be seen to have cheated it.
Talk to most people his friends, his co-stars,
his directors, your next-door neighbour and
they will tell you that it was the Sherlock role
that changed his life, that transformed him
from a respected character actor into a house-
hold name and, from there, an international
star. Which is undeniably true.
But talk to Cumberbatch himself and he will
also tell you there is a deeper reason for it all
for the career that, despite mainstream success
coming in his thirties, has not for one moment
seen a lull, a break or slowdown of any kind; a
kind of non-stop career sprint that has included
14 theatre productions, 17 TV roles, 30 lms
and, really, hes just getting started.
The three films hes in this winter as a
kindly slave-owner in the red-hot Oscar
favourite 12 Years A Slave; as fearsome dragon
Smaug in tent-pole blockbuster The Hobbit:
The Desolation Of Smaug; as an unemployed
screw-up opposite Meryl Streep in August:
Osage County come after a summer in which
he outshone the Enterprise crew as super-
villain Khan in Star Trek Into Darkness, and gave
an uncanny performance as Julian Assange in
The Fifth Estate. Then theres the new series
of Sherlock starting next month, the biopic
of code-breaker Alan Turing (The Imitation
Game), which hes currently lming, Hamlet
on stage and, after that, the lingering hope of
the rebooted JJ Abrams-directed Star Wars
(Theres a possibility, of course there is JJ
knows how much Id love to be part of it).
As his good friend Matthew Goode, a co-star
in The Imitation Game, says: I remember him
coming to our house after hed just nished
something at the National Theatre and yet
another lm, and my wife said, How are you
Ben? And he said, Yeah, um, Im all right,
I mean, Im unemployed at the moment... Hed
been unemployed for two days!
After recalling the third time he almost died,
Cumberbatch will say to me: These seismic
events give you perspective on mortality, on
the sacredness of it... to realise not to sweat
the small stuff. And just to enjoy the ride of
being alive.
After recalling the fourth time, he will put
it more plainly: The afterburn, the follow-on
stuff from that experience, is impatience. And
I think that might still be
ongoing. About me trying
to cram a lot into my life.
To put it another way:
Benedict Cumberbatch
might be one of the
few people whose post-
traumatic stress has made
him a superstar. The truth
as always with life, as
often with Cumberbatch
is a bit more complicated.
H
is first memory is of staring
at the sky. His parents both
actors lived in a top-oor at
in Kensington, London (bought
in the Seventies for something
like three grand), and when Benedict would
cry, they would carry his pram up to the roof
and point him skywards. Then, he would
become still. He would smile. And often, he
would sleep. He remembers, still, the wonder
he felt at this: A vision of sky.
His rst word was helicopter. They were the
biggest things in the sky.
It was around this time that he rst cheated
death. His half-sister, Tracy, from his moth-
ers rst marriage, was babysitting him in the
middle of winter. She put a crying Benedict
on the roof to calm him for a moment or two.
Then, says Cumberbatch, laughing, she
forgot about me! I mean, it was funny. She
was in the kitchen with her friends and
she suddenly saw the snow falling through
the window...
When she ran upstairs, she found Benedict
serene teeth chattering, but still smiling, still
in awe. He had to be thawed out on a radia-
tor before his parents returned home (I had
turned blue).
Still, he remembers his childhood as idyllic.
Even when, at eight, he was packed off to
boarding school.
I was an only child, but I was very gregari-
ous. I thrived; an amazing ve years. But yes,
eight seems a bit of a wrench. I dont know if
I could do it with a kid of eight.
He started acting early. At the school nativity,
he remembers, he played Joseph and shoved
Mary off the stage because she had forgotten
her lines. It was very unchivalrous.
Condence was never a problem. Nor was
a belief in his ability. By the time he went to
Harrow he was cast in most of the lead roles
including, as it was an all-boys school, Rosalind
in As You Like It and from there didnt much
doubt acting was for him.
I think, going into it, I always had self-belief
in my talent. You have to.
It was at the end of his time at Harrow that
Cumberbatch had a run-in with mortality for
the second time. He was at home, studying
for his A levels in his bedroom, when all of
a sudden the whole at shook from a huge
explosion. The windows shattered, a dust
cloud enveloped him, his
ears rang. I just thought,
F***! I ran through the
flat. My mum and dad
were saying, Are you all
right? Are you all right?
I said no I couldnt hear
out of one ear.
It was the 1994 attack
on the Israeli Embassy, a
car packed with 30lb of
explosives. Cumberbatch
remembers a deafening
silence, then a sound schrrlllllll, schrrlllllll. It
was the sound of glass falling to earth.
When he went to Manchester University
to study drama, he had a blast girls, drink-
ing, clubbing. Pills? I was a student in
Manchester, he says with a laugh, by way of
an answer. But, uh, Ill take the Fifth. Yet he
soon overdid it: I got very ill in my rst year.
I got glandular fever. I had to calm down a bit.
It was my body going, What the f***?
After he graduated, he decided to take a gap
year, teaching English in Tibet. And thats when
he had his third near-death experience. He got
lost while hiking with friends. Armed only with
a biscuit and a piece of cheese between four of
them, he remembers walking across outcrops
lined with ice and down semi-frozen rivers,
nearly breaking our necks, poking yak drop-
pings in the hope they were warm to see how
far we could be from some kind of civilisation.
He remembers, nally, breaking through the
tree line, falling on his knees near the home of a
Sherpa shepherd and making the universal

176
JANUARY 2014 G
CUMBERBATCH
I do have a
thin skin when
something is said
at my expense.
Regret is too
big a word, but
Im learning
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177
G JANUARY 2014
Genius at work (from top):
Cumberbatch in the third
series of Sherlock; as
Julian Assange in The Fifth
Estate; as Khan in Star
Trek Into Darkness
hand-to-mouth gesture of food. He
remembers getting a meal of spinach and
meat, and the dysentery he got straight after
eating it. He remembers it as the best meal
hes ever had.
But it was the fourth of his near-misses when
he really thought he was going to die.
I
nterviewing Benedict Cumberbatch is a
bit like being a matador, but one trying
to inuence the direction of a train.
We meet in a pub at the end of
Cumberbatchs road in Hampstead,
north London, just below the Heath, where he
owns the top two oors of a Victorian house.
He is wearing dark-blue jeans, white T-shirt,
purple pea coat and a smart grey flat cap,
which, when removed, reveals a short back
and sides propping up a neat quiffed wave of
hair, breaking left to right.
Its not that hes rude, you understand hes
unfailingly polite, funny, generous with his
time and wonderful company. Its simply that,
when he begins a sentence, youre locked in for
the paragraph, and if you try to interject, often
hell just keep talking while you talk.
As Goode, who has known Cumberbatch for
more than a decade, will tell me a few days
before the interview, He gives his time and his
thoughts, but he likes to follow a point through
to the end. But I love that. And it probably
stands his acting in good stead hes able to
get from point A to point B and nish it with
extreme clarity.
It is also, I think, down to a feeling he has
of being misrepresented by the press, and its
only by giving the exact line, his exact posi-
tion, without distraction, that he can hope not
to be misquoted.
Partly, perhaps, this stems from the con-
fected row that erupted in the tabloids last
August when he told the Radio Times that he
felt castigated for his privileged background.
All the posh-baiting that goes on, he said.
Its just so predictable, so domestic, so dumb.
Cue more castigation.
For the record, Cumberbatch has this to
say about his social standing: Im an upper
middle- class kid. I know thats counted as posh,
but then I know people who I would call posh,
and I dont talk like them.
And, no, hes not leaving for the United
States any time soon.
This was not the only run-in Cumberbatch
has had with the press. In fact, his cuttings le
is littered with occasionally tetchy exchanges
with interviewers. Even a recent cover story in
The Hollywood Reporter which proclaimed
him the key player of The New A-List was
awkward, beginning with the sentence: I am
45 minutes into an interview with Benedict
Cumberbatch, and frankly, its not going well.
A recent interview with the Guardian to
promote The Fifth Estate, meanwhile, ended
with Cumberbatch feeling hed been quoted out
of context concerning Chelsea (nee Bradley)
Mannings incarceration, and saw him ask for
a clarication to be posted online (it was), and
the relevant transcript published (ditto).
It was very irresponsible of them to do
that, he says. Its like, what are you going to
gain from my opinions? Oh, I see, youre going
to turn it into a piece that makes me sound like
a big schoolboy who thinks that people who
break the rules should be punished.
Its also probably no coincidence that this, too,
circled back to a veiled dig at his social class.
We speak, on and off, about his true
thoughts on politics, whistle-
blowers and terrorism in
greater detail than could be
included even in a prole of
this length, but sufce to say
his position is, like most peo-
ples, not black and white:
he understands the reality of
whistleblowers, and why the
relevant governments seek to
punish them. But at heart hes
a liberal, and wouldnt want
Manning punished. Hes not
a security expert, but under-
stands the complex balancing
act between civil liberties and
protecting the population.
I tell him its an utterly rea-
sonable, balanced position to
take, and one I share.
And yet, the minute you
do that, youre accused of
sitting on the fence, he says.
While filming the third
series of Sherlock, mean-
while, Cumberbatch held
up a piece of paper to the
paparazzi hovering nearby
that read: Go photograph
Egypt and show the world
something important. Then,
later, a four-page treatise hed
written about civil liberties
regarding the Guardian and
the governments attempt to
mufe the paper. Yet it was
the Guardian once again
this time via Marina Hyde
that stuck the boot in,
referencing his class with a
piece headlined, Benedict
Cumberbatchs vital mission to educate the
hoi polloi.
I was really shocked with what was going
on, he says, so I just thought, if this culture
is so xated on me, I may as well use it to ask
questions. I wasnt trying to trash popular
culture. I dont belittle the appetites of people
who just want to see shots of Sherlock.
He sighs. I guess thats my nearest irta-
tion with social media, and if I get misinter-
preted in print, or if the perception of me is
edited in print, then this is clear: Im holding
up the words.
As for the article: The Guardian really
does have its cake and eat it. Their ofces are
being raided for these hard disks, and I nd it
extraordinary they [ran] that [piece] as well.
Benedict Cumberbatch worries a lot. I suggest,
in fact, he might worry too much.
I know. And I am getting better at that.
I remember something happening during the
lming of Sherlock and someone said, Youve
got a thin skin. And it was like, Ive done it
again. Ive f***ing done it again. I mean, I do
[have a thin skin] when something is said at
my expense. But Im learning.
Regret is too big a word, but
Im learning.
And yet there is a clear and
wonderful ip side to all this
concern of his, which is unbe-
lievable enthusiasm. As much
as he seemingly worries about
everything, hes excited and
thrilled about everything else.
Hes excited about the
coffee we order (the barman
gets a lengthy grilling on what
exactly is a flat white); by
how this magazine works; by
wild swimming in Hampstead
Heath; by the burgers we
order; even, as we leave the
pub him to stroll home, me
to unlock my single-speed
racer by my bike (he recog-
nises the make of frame, the
bike nerd in me is impressed).
Seeing all these enthusi-
asms and these are just the
minor, slightly unexpected
ones I cant help but think
two things.
First, the follow-through of
rampant enthusiasm is often
naivety, and I understand
why his Sherlock co-star
Martin Freeman says hes
easy to screw over (Hes
sweet and generous in an
almost childlike way. I could
take advantage of him playing
cards), or how Simon Pegg
convinced Cumberbatch while
they were lming Star Trek
Into Darkness in a nuclear
facility that he needed to wear a special
face cream to protect him from radiation; he
obliged, and even became convinced it was
why he kept screwing up his lines (Guys, Im
sorry, he said. Ive got a real headache. I think
the ions were getting to me).
But mostl y, I feel , compared wi th
Cumberbatch, like someone going through
existence with the contrast dial turned down.
To him, it seems, everything is neon bright.
The barbs may sting more sharply, but his sun
must shine that much brighter.
Its not hard to imagine how this sensitivity
178
JANUARY 2014 G
CUMBERBATCH
both bad and good feeds into his acting. He
feels more, notices more, hears more. Its in his
nature hes a human tuning fork. When he
was a child, he says, he used to carry around a
Dictaphone wherever he went, recording any-
thing he found of interest, trying out voices,
practising sounds. It didnt last too long, but
only because he became the Dictaphone. For
every person he quotes during the three hours
we spend together, he cant help but drop into
a pitch-perfect impersonation of them, body,
voice and all. Its uncanny, not least because
this cast list includes Madonna (She said,
Youre the one with the strange name. I said,
Yes, I am Madonna), Meryl Streep (She
just said, Well, I love what you do) and Ted
Danson (It was a pre-Oscar party and he just
screamed across a crowded room, Oh my God!
F***! Its Sherlock! Youre Sherlock! Oh God!).
It occasionally feels like Im getting the best
one-man show in the world.
On the Graham Norton show he did
Chewbacca from Star Wars. Harrison Ford,
sitting next to him, almost jumped out of his
seat. Hes got a remarkable ear, says Steven
Moffat, the co-creator of Sherlock. He can pick
up people seriously fast. He could do me. He
could do you. When he got into trouble a short
while ago for saying he was pigeon-holed as
posh he can do it all, thats all he meant. And
yet he gets pigeon-holed for parts because he
is, lets be honest, the son of Timothy Carlton
a posh boy.
W
hen Cumberbatch was
featured recentl y on
the cover of Time (An
unbelievable honour), the
cover line read: Playing
Genius. Its a clich playing slightly odd yet
often brilliant men that has stuck with him
over the years, ever since his stunning break-
out role in his twenties as Stephen Hawking
in a TV biopic. And its one thats only been
solidied by playing the likes of Vincent van
Gogh (another TV biopic), Assange, Sherlock,
Khan and his forthcoming role as Turing. This,
despite roles as varied as a hostage negotiator
in Four Lions, a major in Spielbergs War Horse,
a rapist in Atonement and a gay spook in Tinker
Tailor Soldier Spy.
Look, I know that everything I do now will
have avours of Sherlock. Everyone wants
those dark, complicated antiheroes, and of
course I play them. But I also play Charles in
August: Osage County, Ford in 12 Years A Slave
and Alexander in Stuart: A Life Backwards
hes a pretty open book; smart man though he
is, the complexity is all about Stuart [a home-
less man played by Tom Hardy]. Alexanders an
everyman; hes not super-sleuthing or crack-
ing code or breaking algorithms. I mix it up.
The truth, I think, that you can see in
all Cumberbatchs best roles is not really that
he plays genius or even intelligence exactly
(one of the most slippery of thespian tasks;
trying to act intelligence is a bit like trying
to feign coolness it doesnt work if you
force it). The thing that binds them, from
Frankenstein on stage and Alexander in Stuart:
A Life Backwards to Sherlock, is something
more fundamental: a sense of wonder.
The day I meet Cumberbatch, it is the
Monday after opening weekend in the US of
The Fifth Estate, and the lm has tanked. On an
estimated budget of $30m (19m), it took just
$1.7m (1.1m) from 1,769 cinemas across the
country, making it the worst opening weekend
for any major lm released in 2013.
Well, I always thought that Disney and
Dreamworks were odd bedfellows for such
a specialist topic, really. The parallel is The
Social Network, but everyone uses Facebook;
not everyone is au fait with WikiLeaks, says
Cumberbatch, adding, This was never going
to be a popcorn multiplex lm.
Box-ofce gross now hes in the market to
play the leads is seemingly one more thing he
has to fret about. That morning, Variety ran a
piece titled, Does Fifth Estate Bombing Hurt
Benedict Cumberbatch As A Leading Man?
Water off a ducks
back, he says. Im just
thankful that it has posi-
tioned me as someone
who is capable of doing
that kind of a role. And
whether the film has a
big box ofce or not, the
response to how I have
performed [as Assange]
has done me huge favours.
You know, its the rst lead
role Ive had and its caused
this much attention.
Has it harmed his Oscar chances though?
I think so. But then I never really held out
for that. He never really held out for TV
superstardom either, but that doesnt mean he
didnt get it. Despite it airing in the summer,
despite it being brought forward on the sched-
ule, despite minimal PR, the rst episode of
Sherlock, in July 2010, got nine million viewers.
Cumberbatch wasnt an overnight star he was
one at the end of 90 minutes.
It was the perfect t the pinnacle of the
tormented, brilliant loners hed made a spe-
cialism of; a role that would play on, as co-
creator Mark Gatiss puts it, the fact that in a
certain light, his face is quite alien. And then
in another, hes iconically handsome.
Details of the third series are tightly under
wraps, but Cumberbatch will tell me this much:
there will be a reunion, an explanation (of how
he cheated death), a marriage, a speech and a
new villain who is the opposite of the oth-
erworldly Moriarty, who is painfully real and
possible thats whats chilling. There will be
another cliffhanger ending (that makes you
go, What the f***?), fewer lengthy deduc-
tion monologues (Maybe people wont miss
them; although saying that, episode two is
almost one entire monologue), and a new
haircut. Well, actually...
Ive said for quite a long time Id like him to
have a different haircut. I quite like my hair
being short. You know, weve been away two
years, lets f*** around with his outt, lets
f*** around with his haircut, lets do some-
thing different.
Was he allowed to? Not really, no.
And yet, as hard as it is to imagine now
with the fan army of Cumberbitches that are
name-checked in every Cumberbatch prole,
and duly get a mention here the BBC almost
didnt go for him, because they said he wasnt
attractive enough.
We kept saying to the BBC, were going
to give you a sexy Sherlock Holmes, says
Moffat. And I remember the BBC saying,
Hmm, really? We dont think he is. And now,
hes the sexiest man in the world.
It begs the question: do his army of devoted
female followers want to sleep with Sherlock,
or with Cumberbatch?
I suppose as Rita Hayworth used to say,
says Gatiss, The trouble is, they go to bed
with Gilda, but wake up
with me.
Matthew Goode has
a different take when
I suggest it must be hard
for Cumberbatch to
distinguish when it comes
to women. Ha ha, you
know, this is a man were
talking about! Look, hes
not that old, but hes
coming to the end of his
thirties, so hes looking
[for a long-term partner].
But if he has to have a few conquests to get the
right one, Im sure that wont bother him either.
Im sure the cream of the crop will be coming
towards him. Hes going to enjoy himself.
As for Cumberbatch himself, hell simply say
this: It is harder [meeting women], because
people think they know more about you than
they actually do. And you cant control that.
You cant control perceptions of you.
No matter how much, it seems, he tries.
T
his is what Cumberbatch can
remember from the time he
nearly died in South Africa, while
lming mini-series To The Ends Of
The Earth in 2004.
He is with co-stars Denise Black and Theo
Landey. They are making their way back from
an idyllic weekend of scuba-diving in the
KwaZulu-Natal district, north of Durban. It
is night-time. They are driving on a highway
near the Mozambique border. Cumberbatch
has lit a spliff, and is listening to Radiohead on
the stereo How To Disappear Completely
and contemplating how blissfully happy he
is. Their right tyre blows, forcing them to pull
over. Trucks shudder past. As they begin

Its not hard to
imagine how this
sensitivity feeds
into his acting. He
feels more, notices
more, hears more.
Hes a human
tuning fork
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He remembers
being forced to
crouch in the
execution position.
He remembers
the duvet that
was placed over
his head, to
silence the shot
to remove the wheel and replace it with a
spare, six armed men emerge from the bush.
Cumberbatch and his friends are frisked, asked
for money, drugs and weapons. Their hands are
bound with their own shoelaces and they are
driven away. Off-road, is all he knows.
Cumberbatch is bundled against the wind-
screen, sitting on Blacks lap on the front pas-
senger seat, awkwardly folded, his back and
head hitting the glass as they go over bumps.
He remembers a surreal moment when his bum
hits the car stereo, turning it on, and Thom
Yorke is suddenly soundtracking his ordeal:
Im not here, he sings. This isnt happen-
ing... He is in some discomfort, so they stop,
and decide instead to put him in the boot.
He remembers a trickle of blood on his head.
He remembers suffering bad cramps, and
thinking he is going to pass out. He remem-
bers thinking, if they arent going to kill him,
he might be taken hostage. He takes some
small solace from this. He imagines where they
would store him. Would it be like TV some
kind of Silent Witness-style lock-up under the
arches? But there are no arches. They are being
driven into the wilderness.
Suddenly, they stop. He remembers being
taken out of the boot and being forced to crouch
in the execution position. He remembers the
duvet that was placed over his head, to silence
the shot. He remembers thinking: No matter
how loved you are in this life, you will die alone.
He remembers trying to reason with them,
saying that killing him would not be a good
idea, that they dont want a dead Englishman
on their hands. After an indeterminate amount
of time, which may only have been minutes,
but which spread out like hours, he realises the
kidnappers have gone.
They run towards the only lights they can
see and, after about ten minutes of so, running
in a daze, they come across women operating
a cart outside a car park. He remembers the
black hands that untie him. The pure gratitude
he feels. And he remembers the women crying
for what has been done by their countrymen.
They cry the same sentence again and again.
For shame, they cry. For shame. For shame...
He remembers, then, that he too started to
cry. And he remembers he couldnt stop.
Some of this harrowing encounter, in varying
parts and in varying detail, he has recounted
before. What he has not spoken about are the
after-effects. He woke up the next morning, he
says, and went to the balcony of the house they
were staying in, which looked out to the sea.
And I felt the heat on my face, and I looked
across and thought, I want to swim in that sea.
I want to walk across that dune, I want to be
with those people I can see playing. Every atom
of me wants to be part of it. Because Im alive.
He saw a counsellor, who said, Maybe write
this out, speak to people about it, and do some
exercise be part of your landscape.
True to Cumberbatchs hyper-aware nature, he
had already done all three he had written four
pages detailing the experience while waiting
on the road side for the police, gone skydiv-
ing in the days following, returned to work and
spoken to everyone about it. Id already done
the check list, he says. It was just intuitive.
After his parents ew over the following
week, he even revisited the site. They said,
Are you sure you want to? I said yes. You cant
imagine all the small details that came back to
me. Right down to the insects.
The only trauma he identied occurred a few
weeks later, while resuming To The Ends Of The
Earths lming. They were shooting under the
deck of a boat on a covered section of dock.
Cumberbatch came up for air and a smoke,
only to see they had started to close the main
shutter entrance.
I saw the daylight being blocked out and
I said, Look, can you stop that? It kept closing,
and I was like, Please, keep it open!
He panicked, and ran outside. I smashed my
st three or four times against the brick wall.
He has tears in his eyes now as he recalls it. It
had reminded him of the car boot. It was the
anger of being reminded of the fear, and where
Id gone in my imagination. And I remember
thinking: Dont let that be the legacy of this.
W
e keep in contact after the
interview. He calls me to
chat the next day, saying
how hed since spoken to
Denise Black from South
Africa, and how much he missed her. I watch
him on TV, giving a remarkable live performance
in Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead for
the National Theatres 50th birthday celebrations.
We text briey. I wonder how much of who he
is his incredible sensitivity to the world, the
thing that seems to fuel everything is simply
his nature, and how much hes been shaped
by his remarkable experiences. He texts me a
long explanation about how those experiences
have shaped him, before saying, Im starting to
sound like a self-help book of zingy one-liners
packed full of fortune- cookie wisdom!
But then, just when I wonder if there is an
answer, if anything so simple could describe
something so complex, he texts me a line that
may not seem profound, or especially ornate,
or like a life lesson of any kind, but, to me, feels
so true it is almost neon-bright.
Its one line. It simply says: You have to
experience this stuff yourself.
The third series of Sherlock begins next month
on BBC One.
Sherlocks Secrets
(Stuart McGurk, December 2011)
Sherlocks Fake Death
(Charlie Burton, August 2012)
Men Of The Year: Benedict Cumberbatch
(Jonathan Heaf, October 2011)
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RIGHT
JANUARY 2014 G 183
Wes Anderson, and his latest has
all thetraits quirky characters,
sets that look like theyve been
crayoned,and the plot essentially
one long chase sequence. But
whatmakes us especially excited
about this is not just that
Andersonis back on form
(see the sublime Moonrise
Kingdom), but he seems
to have found room for all
his alumni, from Bill Murray
and Owen Wilson to Jason
Schwartzman and Adrien
Brody, plus Moonrise Kingdoms
Ed Norton. Its Wes Anderson,
onlymore so.
The clincher: Ralph Fiennes
performance inthe lead as
alegendary conciergeaccused
of murder looks likely to be
acomedyrevelation.
Out on 28 February 2014.
4
Little Shed Collectives
Dusk system
Scenester scenes
New Zealand-born designers
AlexWastney and Keith Orchard
only founded the London-based
Little Shed Collective last year,
yet theyve already gained a
reputation for creating beautiful
items that arent furniture or art,
but straddle the line between
the two. Best is their Dusk
system bespoke wooden
wallpanels etched in a variety
of designs and backlit, giving
your room the glamorous twinkle
of a Manhattan dusk in autumn, even
in a dull LondonDecember.
The clincher: Theyve even
branchedout into kitchenware,
withtheir Espresso Kettle a thing
ofangular beauty.
littleshedcollective.com
wireless-music revolution, but
the high-end speaker kings are
back withSoundTouch, their
newintegrated systems that not
onlyuse Wi-Fi throughout the
houseto play multiple devices
fromyour smartphone ( la Sonos),
but also feature six short-cut
buttonson each device to play
yourfavourite at the (literal) touch
ofabutton.
The clincher: Your presets can be
your favourite album, your playlists,
a radio station, or simply a genre
ofmusic from your collection.
From 349.95. bose.co.uk
3
The Grand
BudapestHotel
Wes Anderson makes
hislmagain
Sure, you know by now what
youre getting from arch-stylist
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Phonebloks
The rst upgradeable
smartphone. Hopefully
Unavoidable upgrades after a cracked
screen/dead battery/broken camera
renders your phone infuriatingly
inoperable may soon be a thing of
the past. Phonebloks is a concept for
a customisable smartphone made
up of blocks, which can be instantly
swapped and replaced. In theory,
youll never need a new phone again.
The clincher: Not only did the video
that creator David Hakkens upload
to YouTube go viral, attracting more
than 17 million views, but hes got
more than 900,000 supporters on
crowdspeaking site Thunderclap.
phonebloks.com
6
TomTom Multi-Sport
GPSwatch
Perfect timing
For runners, cyclists and swimmers
who take their tness seriously, but
are bored of having the equivalent
of an old Amstrad on their wrist, the
award-winning TomTom Multi-Sport
GPS watch is ideal. Ultra-slim and
comfortable, it is easy to use and has
an extra-large display.
The clincher: It comes with TomToms
Graphical Training Partner that ofers
three modes: race (to track your
performance), goal (set yourself
distance/time/calorie-burn targets),
and zone (monitoring heart rate).
179.99. tomtom.com
7
Nike X Undercover
Gyakusou Aeroloft vest
Feel the burn, snugly
A runners puzzle: how to keep
warm during those early stages of a
winter run while also having enough
ventilation so that you dont need to
shed layers while cresting up a steep
gradient. Once again those fabric
bofns at Nike have come up trumps
with a vest that is light, warm and as
hard-working as you are. Think of it
as a space-age gilet for athletes who
care what they look like when they
bump into the hot girl on the heath.
The clincher: Perforated with lasers,
the more you move the more it
works to keep you cooled.
169. nike.com
8
Bellroy wallets
The wallet diet
Theres nothing worse than a wallet
the width of a soap bar to ruin the
lines of a well-tted suit, so we
recommend going slimline everyday
essentials only. Newcomer Bellroy has
some of the slimmest wallets on the
market; from its micro Slim Sleeve to
the ultra-compact but fully-functional
Hide & Seek, theyre the best your
money can buy, and be kept in.
The clincher: Each wallet is 100 per
cent leather, and ranging from just
39 to 89, ofers an inexpensive
solution to shekel storage.
bellroy.com
9
ART14
Frieze, just cooler
Want to know where Harry Styles
goes to peruse and then purchase
artwork for his man pad? Well, maybe
not. Now in its second year and
housed in London Olympias Grand
Hall, the broad range of galleries
exhibiting work by artists such as
Raghhubir Singh, Jonathan Yeo and
Jens Ziehe makes this the perfect
place to begin a collection or add
to an investment. Budding gallerists
takenote.
The clincher: Showing work
fromsmaller, often-overlooked
territories (such as the Middle East)
means that undervalued work is
herefor the taking.
28 February - 2 March 2014.
artfairslondon.com
10
Louis Vuitton
NorthSouth tote
Holey orders
Forget laser cutting thats so last
year. This extremely stylish Vuitton
tote bag has the houses trademark
Damier pattern cut into the super-
soft Nomade leather using water
jets to create a smoother hole in
thevegetable-dyed hide.
The clincher: The holes reduce
theweight although naturally you
willinsist on your staf carrying it.
3,000. louisvuitton.com

11
Burmas new luxury
Asias secret sandy paradise
smartens up
Once a pariah state, now open for
business, Burma is heading down
the luxury path, with tourist digs in
restored colonial mansions, rustic-
chic bungalows and sexy new builds.
The latest to open is Bagan Lodge,
bringing pools, hot tubs and private
balconies to the areas 3,000 temples.
The clincher: Burmas beaches
are as sugary sanded as their Thai
neighbours, only minus the tourists.
With more than 1,000 miles from
the Bay of Bengal to the Andaman
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Rooms from 112 a night.
bagan-lodge.com

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Connan Mockasin
The new Tame Impala
Radiohead, Warpaint, Charlotte
Gainsbourg you only have to
glance at the calibre of artist singer-
songwriter Connan Mockasin has
been touring with lately to realise
his dynamite potential. Whether its
something in the water over on the
other side of the world, who knows?
But Mockasin picks up where fellow
antipodeans Tame Impala left of, a
similarly psychedelic pop sound that
will have you wondering what it all
means. The answer? Who cares, man?
The clincher: It starts with the
dolphin leaving, and the boss who
is so in love with the dolphin is
sad, and then it kicks in to the new
album, and he is happier. But theres
a car race and a crash.
connanmockasin.tumblr.com
13
Felicity Jones
The Black Cat
Cant quite place
Felicity Jones?
Itcould be from
low-budget indies
Like Crazy or
Breathe In, or even
her role in Ricky
Gervais Cemetery
Junction. Not that
you watched that, of
course. Hot, young and
British, the actress looks
set to break through in 2014 as
she plays Felicia Hardy, AKA Black
Cat, in The Amazing Spider-Man 2.
Watch this space: Jones will soon
beeverywhere.
The clincher: Shes also set to star
opposite Eddie Redmayne as the
wife of Professor Stephen Hawking in
a big-screen biopic of the great man.
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is out on
18 April 2014.

14
Michael Deacons
political sketches
The Telegraphs Thurber
From his equal parts incisive and
absurd political sketches (his
David Cameron sketch, post party
conference: And yes, lots of
sentences beginning And yes) to his
unrivalled descriptive turns of phrase
(notably, on Nigel Farage: Practically
squelching with glee, and sporting
that mischievous bug-eyed smirk that
makes him look like a toad plotting
a practical joke), the Telegraphs
33-year-old political sketch-writer is
the Jon Stewart of the written word.
The clincher: A parody he wrote of
Dan Brown went viral.
telegraph.co.uk
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Kenzo backpack
Tiger feat
The dynamic duo behind Opening
Ceremony, the worlds hippest
clothing store, Humberto Leon and
Carol Lim are now the creative force
behind Kenzo. And, boy, have they
sprinkled it with magic dust, turning
the appetite for the typically tropical
Kenzo print into afashion feeding
frenzy of beasts.
The clincher: Practical and cool.
450. At Harvey Nichols.
harveynichols.com

16
Shailene Woodley
The new Emma Stone
OK, the old Emma Stone, at 25,
isnt exactly past it, but 22-year-old
Shailene Woodley is set to give Stone
a run for her red-headed, freckle-
cheeked money. The revelation of
the George Clooneys 2011 hit The
Descendants, Woodley is set for
leading-lady status, rst by starring
opposite Kate Winslet in sci- thriller
Divergent, and then as the romantic
lead in The Fault In Our Stars.
The clincher: Woodley takes self-
sufciency to a whole new level,
doing everything from collecting her
own spring water to growing her own
food and making her own toothpaste.
Divergent is out on 4 April 2014.

17
Alec Baldwins
newchatshow
Smart Alec strikes back
Alec Baldwins move from 30 Rock
TV comedy superstar to hard-hitting
MSNBC chat-show host with Up Late
With Alec Baldwin might have come
as a surprise to some, but to us at
GQ, theres no man wed rather have
behind the desk. Also: great TV hair.
The clincher: Alecs not giving up the
day job just yet, having provided a
star turn in Woody Allens sublime
Blue Jasmine, and being set to star
in Cameron Crowes (as yet untitled)
latest, in a dream comedy cast that
includes Emma Stone and Bill Murray.

18
The Range Rover Sport
Dont call it a Cheshire Tractor
The old Range Rover Sport was a
curious car. Despite being beloved by
Premier League footballers and yum-
mums, it was too heavy, slow and
thirsty to be anything other than the
wrong Range Rover. But the new
incarnation is lighter, faster, sleeker,
sexier and sportier, and might just be
this years Best Car In The World.
The clincher: For the rst time, the
model comes with the option of a
third row, making it a seven-seater.
81,550. landrover.com
19
Micro ats
Ultra downsizing
When a housing crisis meets an ever-
growing population, somethings got
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to give. But while the knock-on is
exactly as youd expect shoe boxes,
essentially in some ways theyre
not. Because what shoe boxes! From
the new 250-370 sq ft My Micro NY
apartments about to be built in New
York (each of which converts from
a day to a night space like a Rubiks
cube) to San Franciscos 160 sq ft
SmartSpace apartments with a bed
that converts to a table its only
a matter of time before the micro-
trend comes to hyper-priced London.
The clincher: The current trend in
New York is to renovate present
apartments with high ceilings to
create multi-level spaces.

20
The Cronut ofspring
Like a Cronut, only more so
In the beginning, a New York baker
created the unholy ofspring of a
croissant and a doughnut, and he
saw that it was good. And he said,
lo, let them sell for $4 each, and they
sold. From such a monumental start,
the knockofs have come thick and
fast, and we have to admit, theyre
a lot of fun. Theres Starbucks
Dufn (doughnut meets mufn),
Greggs Greggsnut (a direct Cronut
knockof),Beas Of Bloomsburys
Townies (tart meets
brownie) and many more
besides. Viva la tests.
The clincher: Even
Waitrose has
hopped on the
bandwagon with
the Yumdough
(yum yum meets
doughnut).

21
La Hechicera
Dont waste
itinaMojito
The only privately owned
rum producer in Colombia is an
enterprising collaboration between
the Riascos family and Maestro
Ronero, a Cuban-born former
sugar-cane cutter who blends
12- to 21-year-old rums matured
in American white-oak casks to
produce the countrys ultimate
expression of its most popular
spirit.The results are thus
meticulously made and predictably
complex deep, barrel-aged,
whiskey-like characteristics overlaid
with heady scents of tofee and
orange peel.
The clincher: Forget the mixers, this
is a rum for drinking on the rocks.
From 38. lahechicera.co
22
The Linley Tectonic Bar
All bar none
Youre paying a lot for arguably
the worlds most lavish drinks cabinet.
Still, the Tectonic Bars walnut
covering impressively splits to reveal
a metallic core beneath, reminiscent
of the earths tectonic plates hence
the name. From bespoke British
design company Linley, the limited
edition was recently unveiled at the
Masterpiece London fair. Be nice and
it might be the closest youll get to
living real-life James Bond.
The clincher: Press the secret button
to unlock the bar cabinet and
feast upon a gold-leafed interior,
refrigerator and cigar humidor.
Price on application. davidlinley.com
23
Bodyism supplement
for men
Its body brilliant
Say goodbye to gritty, tasteless
protein shakes. Bodyism, creator
ofthe Clean & Lean diet, has anew
supplement specically created for
men: Male Testo. Its a powerful
daily formula which contains only
natural ingredients, such as tribulus,
creatine and pea protein, to increase
testosterone, raise libido, help create
lean muscle and help reduce body
fat, says LeeMullins, director of
personal training at Bodyism. And
ittastesgood, too.
The clincher: Worth working out for.
Male Testo, 60. bodyism.com. Clean
& Lean Warrior by James Duigan
is out this month on Kindle.
24
True
Detective
Really bad boys
Woody Harrelson.
Matthew
McConaughey. Bad
cop, bad cop. HBO.
Need we say more to
make itplain that this
eight-part TV series
in which the duo play
Louisianadetectives who are
on the hunt for a serial killer is
the most exciting new show of the
year? OK, we just did, but the rst
nine words were allyou really needed.
The clincher: The series is an
anthology, meaning a diferent
setting each season.
True Detective is on Sky Atlantic
inJanuary.
25
British Airways A380
service to Los Angeles
Go large to la-la land
When the worlds largest passenger
plane went into service in 2007,
global travellers craned their necks
to see what each airlines kit-out
would comprise. Early adopters didnt
disappoint, with services including
personal cabins and walk-in showers.
But, last September, BAs inaugural
A380 service to Los Angeles unveiled
a fresh approach. First class is on
the lower of its two decks, while the
upper deck is given over to Club
World and World Traveller Plus,
increasing in-ight amenities if not
to all, then far more than smaller,
traditionally congured aircraft.
The clincher: First-class passengers
get to enjoy a ve-course lunch and
high tea, courtesy of the Langham
hotels catering team in London.
BA flies to Los Angeles from 698
return. ba.com
26
Bob Dylan: The
Complete Album
Collection Vol.1
Bringing it all back home
Falling some way short of Tony
Bennetts epic 76-disc Complete
Collection, Bob Dylans career-so-far
compendium nevertheless spans a
formidable 43 discs, and includes all
35 studio albums (including his two
non-Columbia sets, Planet Waves and
Before The Flood), six live collections
and two CDs stufed with side
tracks made up of outtakes and
lmsoundtrack contributions.
The clincher: That this is merely the
rst volume proves theres plenty
more work from Dylan to come.
145. myplaydirect.com/bobdylan
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Lizzy Caplan
Lets talk about sex
Shes come a long way from
LindsayLohans goth sidekick,
Janis, in Mean Girls. Yet despite
sturdy performances in Clovereld
and most recently as a bridesmaid
in Bachelorette, Caplan has never
reached leading-lady status. Until
now, that is. Her new series, Masters
Of Sex about Virginia Johnson and
William Masters work on human
sexuality is like an uncensored
MadMen. Watch as the no-bullshit
Caplan punches a man who calls
hera whore. This girlsgot tude.
The clincher: Shes with James
Franco in upcoming comedy thriller
The Interview.
The Interview is out on
November 2014.
28
Aesop
No fable
Aesop has been popping up like
rabbits all over London, having
just opened its seventh door in
Marylebone. The Aussie skin-care
brand has been hopping into bed with
everyone from APC to Mr Porter. We
love the eco-conscious packaging,
and a consultation with the expert
staf will leave you with a skin-care
regime you wont need to cull.
The clincher: Great skin doesnt have
to be a fairy tale.
From 10. aesop.com
29
Made-to-measure
Crombie
Your coat, your cut
We all know a perfectly tailored suit
can make the world of diference, so
why do we accept of-the-peg coats
as the norm? That, presumably, was
the thought of timeless coat brand
Crombie, which has just introduced a
made-to-measure service of its iconic
Retro coat. Select from 50 exclusive
fabrics, and personalise it down to
the last detail.
The clincher: For a little OK, a lot
extra, you can even get a Crombie
tailor to come to you.
From 1,600. crombie.co.uk

30
AMI Prince Of Wales
check overcoat
The new APC
Remember when labels such as
APCand Acne kept you in a supply
of wardrobe staples a dufe coat,
a great button-down cotton shirt
without breaking the bank? Well,
launched in 2011 in Paris, AMI has
taken up where those labels left of.
At last, somewhere real men can
shop with condence.
The clincher: If Prince Of Wales
check is the pattern of the season,
then this coat will see out your
winter in style.
500. amiparis.com
31
Beau Willimon
The new Aaron Sorkin
Finished whining about the end
of Breaking Bad? No? Well,
once youve stopped your
snivelling maybe you can nd
a little time to get ludicrously
hyped about the next season
of House Of Cards, airing
January, the best political
TV since The West Wing.
And the reason youll be so
excited? Well, other than
seeing Robin Wright in
those gure-hugging power
suits, its for the nely tuned
talents of Beau Willimon,
a screenwriter who is fast
becoming Hollywoods
smartest man in the room.
The clincher: Having already
seen a play he wrote in
college turned into a movie
starring George Clooney and
Ryan Gosling (The Ides Of
March) we cant wait to see
what Willimon does next. Prepare to
read of Willimonisms anytime now.
House Of Cards is on Netflix in
January 2014.
32
Bjarke Ingels
The BIG architect
At just 39, Dane Bjarke Ingels
is already the most sought-
after architect on the planet,
having created award-winning
buildings from Mexico to China. But
its his two current New York projects
that are set to cement his name. First,
a reinvention of Brooklyn Bridge Park,
which will turn Pier 6 into an elevated
viewing platform. Then, currently in
construction, West 57 in Manhattan,
apyramid-shaped tower with a wedge
sliced out of it, creating a midair park
with views of the Hudson.
The clincher: His company, BIG, is
also at work on the dream island,
aBaku outcrop set to become a huge
1.3bn ecofriendly luxury resort.
big.dk
33
Ki:ts belts
Waist management
Pronounced like Keats the poet,
this hip London accessories label is
the brainchild of Central St Martins
and Alexander McQueen alumnus
Takaharu Osako, who has made
discovering brilliant belts a cinch.
Weare particularly taken by the
double-buckled versions.
The clincher: Osako produces around
150 designs a season soyoull be
spoiled for choice.
192. At 39-39. 3939shop.com

34
The Marlton Hotel,
New York
The beat goes on
Sean MacPhersons new project
once the lodgings of Jack Kerouac
is less like a hotel and more like a
really smart apartment with a killer
atscreen TV. Found ten minutes from
SoHo, just before you hit Greenwich
Village proper, the vibe is distinctly
unpretentious, and a world away
from the pomp and preening of other
establishments. Great if youre looking
to work hard, then play of the radar.
The clincher: Beautiful, ivory-
coloured interiors with brass light
ttings and tasteful art stand out in a
city jammed with cold-feeling rooms.
marltonhotel.com

35
The Scott briefcase
byBill Amberg
Killing us softly
The problem with some manbags
is that they can seem at odds with
the wearer either they appear
too formal or too much like a civil
servants lunchbox. Ambergs latest
creation is fantastically low-key, all
unstructured, tumbled calf leather and
brushed suede a lesson in pared-
down aesthetic harmony. A large zip
pocket keeps all your documents safe,
while two adjoining slips can be used
for umbrellas, newsprint and the like.
Andthe more bar-battered this case
gets, the better its going to look.
The clincher: Get your initials
embossed in gold below the handle
and watch co-workers go green.
475. billamberg.com
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Danny Boyles TV time
Small screen, big ambitions
Yes, yes, TV is better than cinema and
[insert fave here] the best thing ever.
We know. But the fact is the odd
Scorsese pilot gig aside it remains
a writer-led biz. That could be about
to change, as Danny Boyle takes the
reins of not one but two TV shows.
First, a police comedy-drama on
Channel 4 (Babylon), written
by the guys behind Fresh
Meat and Peep Show,
and starring James
Nesbitt; then, a Second
World War miniseries
(Telemark) on US
network FX, which
follows the resistance
ghters who sabotaged
Hitlers attempt to
develop atomic weapons.
The futures bright the
futures Boyle.
The clincher: Telemark is
scribed by Oscar-winner Simon
Beaufoy, writer of Boyle lms
Slumdog Millionaire and 127 Hours.
Babylon is on Channel 4 in February.
37
Lauren Mayberry
Get her to the Chvrch on time
It obviously helps that shes the lead
singer in one of the hottest new
bands in the country the synth-pop
throwback three-piece Chvrches.
It doesnt hurt that shes got a cat-
purr of a Glasgow accent, a voice
reminiscent of Kate Bush, doe-eyes,
a name like a Jilly Cooper heroine,
and can rock a stage with the best of
them. To top it all of, she holds a law
degree and a masters in journalism.
GQ is besotted.
The clincher: Shes not afraid
of sticking up for herself,
having written a brilliant
Guardian opinion piece
about the creeps who
abuse her online.
The Bones Of What
You Believe by
Chvrches is out now.
38
GiveMeTap
Taps, taps
everywhere,
andnow a
droptodrink
The idea is simple we walk
down streets where each business
has perfectly good running water,
but were forced to buy a bottle of
Evian if were thirsty. The solution is
ingeniously simple buy new app
GiveMeTap and theyll send you a
special bottle, which, when presented
to one of the numerous chains
theyve partnered with (searchable
on the app) will be lled with tap
water. Never go thirsty again.
The clincher: Not only is it good
for the environment fewer plastic
bottles disposed of but for every
purchase, a percentage will go
towards charity projects in Africa.
givemetap.co.uk
39
Night Hotel New York
Provocative luxury
Snuck within Cronut-lobbing distance
of Times Square, Night Hotel New
York brings a touch of elegance (not
to mention edge) to a neighbourhood
renowned for its relentless in-your-
face-ness. Not recommended,
however, for anyone looking for
aquiet night out,or indeed in.
The clincher: The penthouse suite
isas stacked with hi-tech extras as
the minibar is with premium liquor.
The view from the terrace will make
you come over all Bruce Wayne.
nighthotel.com
40
Mortons Club
Social climbing
Overlooking the handsome Berkeley
Square in Londons W1, Mortons is
amembers club that prides itself on
being prestigious enough to impress
yournext big hire, yet informal
enough to cut loose with clients
looking to be entertained.
The clincher: The events team have
worked hard to ofer more than just
a secluded cocktail, with activities
ranging from spa treatments from
Waterhouse Young, to talks by
footballing legends.
mortonsclub.com
41
George Clooney,
thereinvention of
Leading the way again
Who doesnt love George? The
charm, the women, the socially
awarelms and politically active
persona. But while Clooney has
beenin some great lms over the
last few years, from Coen brothers
comedies such as Burn After
Reading to dark, nuanced dramas
including Syriana to slice-of-life tale
The Descendants, he hasnt been
a leading man in a real tent-pole
blockbuster since 2007s Oceans
Thirteen. Behold, Georges return
as abox-ofce force rst in sci-
smash Gravity, out now, then, next
February, Second World War drama
The Monuments Men, opposite
MattDamon. George, welcome
backto thesharp end.
The clincher: Clooney is also set
to lend his voice to an animated
blockbuster in the form of Pixars
sci- adventure Tomorrowland.
The Monuments Men is out on
21February 2014.
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Her
Scarlett Johansson
makesSirisexy
Come awards season, Scarlett
Johansson may have achieved a rare
feat been nominated for a lm in
which she doesnt actually appear.
Giving her breathy voice to ahyper-
intelligent operating system which
Joaquin Phoenix soon falls in love
with this is a full-bodied role,
despite having no body, and looks
set to pose difcult questions about
where tech is heading, the nature of
love and just how on earth they can
get Scarlett on the lms poster.
The clincher: Its from Spike Jonze,
director of Where The Wild Things
Are and Adaptation.
Her is out on 10 January 2014.
43
RHA headphones
Forget about Dre
Typically, you either put up with your
tinny iPhone earbuds, or stump up
serious cash for a bass-banging pair of
over-ear cans that make you look like
an overdressed skateboarder. Behold,
the new middle ground. Little-known
Glasgow brand RHA make high-class
in-ear headphones that scream quality
in both sound (clear, rich and deep)
and construction (full aluminium and
thick, tangle-free cable), and all for
only 59.95 for their agship MA600i
set. Easily the best-value headphones
on the market.
The clincher: For a further upgrade,
go for their premium MA750i
headphones (89.95), which loop
over and around the ear and rival
bulky high-end cans.
rha-audio.com
44
Direct ights to Austin
Heathrow to hipsterville
intenhours
Until now, to get to Austin that
magical piece of Texas where
cowboys and hipsters live in harmony,
46
Can Lluc, Ibiza
The kind of hotel you
alwaysimagine youll nd
butsomehow never do
Clustered around an old farmhouse
peppered with gentle reminders of
his forebears subsistence lifestyle,
Ibizan businessman Lucas Prats has
constructed self-sufcient villas with
daybeds and two-person jacuzzis.
Meanwhile, hes renovated the main
building to include smaller rooms and
a picture-perfect terrace on which
to enjoy breakfast or lunch. Which is
just as well as theres little else to do
besides lie by the innity pool and
stare out at the unspoilt landscape.
The clincher: Voted one of the top
ve properties in Spain by the Spanish
edition of Cond Nast Traveller.
canlluc.com/en

47
The Fifty Five chair
byGPlan
Mad Men comform
Normally associated with growing up
in the Seventies when every parental
and nary a yee-haw clouds the air
youd have to take a connecting
ight. Not any more. British Airways
launches the rst direct ights from
Heathrow on 3 March. Not only that,
but theyre laying on the comfy
Dreamliner for the route.
The clincher: The Austin route starts
ahead of the summer schedule just
in time for SXSW (7-16 March 2014).
BA flies to Austin from 552 return.
ba.com

45
Brunello Cucinelli
Jacket required
No one beats the Italians when it
comes to making sportswear smart,
and the best Italian of them all at
thisgame is Brunello Cucinelli. This
piece is cut like a denim jacket, but
hasbeen produced in luxurious
cashmere and can be dressed up
with a tie or down with a tee, making
it one of the most versatile items
youcan have in your wardrobe.
The clincher: Wear it underneath a
blazer for the ultimate Italian style.
1,978. brunellocucinelli.com
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home had a G Plan nest ofside
tablesto stabilise the KerPlunk,
tumbler of Fanta or a dusted-of
fondueset, this lounge reading
chairwith wooden arm detailing
fromG Plan Vintage presents a
heritage look with modern fabrics
that would as easily grace the
uptown abode of Tom Wolfe as
itwould the West Hollywood pad
ofBret Easton Ellis.
The clincher: Its available in either
ash or American walnut.
799. gplanvintage.co.uk

48
The barbershop at
Dolce & Gabbana
NewBond Street
A cut above
Dolce & Gabbanas recently
openedthree-oor menswear
agship boasts an extra treat:
the houses only barbiere outside
of Milan. The typically opulent
space (with a four-foot poster
of Scarlett Johansson) has just
three barber stations under head
barber, CarmeloGuastella. The
wetshaves, mini facials, haircuts
(the Dolce isthe byword for the
latest catwalkstyle) and beard
trimsallcome with as many free
espressos as your heart can handle
and a generous spritz of your
favourite scent.
The clincher: Pop in for a new suit,
emerge a new man.
Traditional wet shave, 45. 53-55
New Bond St, London W1.
49
Nebb sunglasses
by Moscot
Shades of diplomacy
He may be the most unlikely
styleicon we can imagine but
HenryKissinger is OK in our books
for having been the inspiration
behind what we reckon to be
thecoolest sunglasses, the
Nebbbyheritage New York
frame makers Moscot.
The clincher: The
special-edition Nebb
is also available in
bright colours if you
want to be a sight
for sore eyes.
215. At Trs Bien.
tres-bien.com

50
Zipp 808
Firecrest
carbon-bre
wheels
Speed freak
As the popularity of triathlons
mushrooms each year, the better
is the kit produced by the sports
serving manufacturers. Although
carbon-bre bicycle wheel
rims were oncestrictly for the
professionals, as the amateurs
get more seriousso does their
desire to clock faster and faster
stages. TheZipp rims, available
inclincher or tubular versions, allow
for greataerodynamics andless
drag,shaving vitalsecondsof
cornering and downhill straights
and your PB.
The clincher: Tried and tested by
bike icon Mark Cavendish no less;
allyou need to do is pedalnpray.
zipp.com
51
George Ford, y-half
Ford planning
If timing is everything in rugby, then
Bath y half George Ford might
just be measuring his run to the
2015 World Cup to perfection. The
20-year-old has been racking up
man-of-the-match performances
since he arrived at the Rec from
Leicester last summer, with a game
that combines the metronomic
accuracy of Jonny Wilkinson with the
vision of a southern hemisphere No10.
The England setup will be watching
closely before announcing
thiswinters World Cup
shop window Six
Nations squad.
The clincher: Ford
couldnt have a
better mentor over
these next crucial 12
months his father
is Mike Ford, former
England defence
coach. So therell be
little chance of Ford Jnr
letting the (albeit justied)
hype go to his head.
52
Eytys sneakers
Scandi style
Trust the Swedes for ensuring girls
will be boys and vice versa with the
ultimate unisex sneaker. The line
known as Mother is the creation of
a brand-new label from Stockholm
and is available in canvas, leather and
suede. Its time to take a step beyond
your basic Vans.
The clincher: Simplicity has never
looked so rened.
From 90. At Polyvore. polyvore.com
50
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Yurbuds
Tracks and eld
Tech rm Yurbuds has created what
runners and gym bunnies the world
over previously thought impossible:
earphones that dont fall out as
soon as you pound the pavement.
Its simple but efective Twistlock
technology ensures the neat rubber
buds stay snug in your lugs however
tough your work-out or harsh the
terrain, while the water-resistant
casing means they shouldnt slip out,
however much you work up a sweat.
The clincher: Theyre calibrated
to let in ambient sounds from the
outside world like car engines and
competitors sneaking up behind...
LaMichael James earphones by
Yurbuds, 49.99. yurbuds.com/uk

54
Fly53 Scarpa trainers
Track dealers
Based on a classic old-school running
shoe, these retro-styled trainers rock
a Nineties warehouse party vibe,
so get out your glowsticks and you
can dance until dawn. Indeed, this is
the background of the boys behind
British streetwear label, Fly53, so you
are in good hands or, indeed, feet.
The clincher: Check out the labels
matching sweats and tees at House
Of Fraser.
50. fly53.com
55
The ice at Bar Boulud
Cool look
Dinner at Daniel Bouluds London
restaurant at the Mandarin Oriental
hotel is date enough but to really
impress order her the signature
White Cosmopolitan. Partly because
the drink is expertly made, but
mostly because the large orb of ice
is both on-trend and, with an orchid
ower frozen inside, easily the best-
looking in the capital.
The clincher: After aperitifs, enjoy
Bouluds house-made charcuterie.
barboulud.com

56
Eighties music revival
Synth is back
It seems everyone whos everyone
is dusting of their Minimoogs and
MS-20s, as analogue Eighties returns
to pop music. Listen as chorused
guitars and sweeping synthesizers
dominate our radios and SoundCloud
(crowd-funded via Kickstarter) can
provide a full 110-degree experience
for an expected price tag of just
200. Virtual reality is nally a reality.
The clincher: The recently launched
Xbox One and PS4 both have games
in development with Oculus Rift
support, from Half-Life 2 to Doom 4.
oculusvr.com
60
The rise of self-
destructing messages
Burn after reading
Evan Spiegel and Bobby Murphys
idea the then little-known app
Snapchat was mocked in Spiegels
Stanford design class when he
proposed it in 2011. Its now
reportedly valued at $3-4bn,
and privacy looks like the tech
worlds new commodity. The
list is endless: Wickr, Privatext
and TigerTexts messages self-
destruct, take back unopened
photos with Frankly, or destroy
self-timed tweets with Spirit.
The clincher: On a more serious,
NSA-esque note, talk is now turning
to spy-proof chat. Scramble (an
encrypted email software) and Pirate
Bay co-founder Peter Sundes
Heml.is (encryption-based
messenger app) are two early
prototypes designed to up
your online security.

61
iTunes Radio
Apples rival
to...everyone
It was about time those big dogs
at Apple entered the world of
online streaming. Originally debuted
with the iOS 7 in the US, the music
giants radio will reportedly launch
here in early 2014. The most obvious
rival is the American Pandora,
which Apple will beat to a UK
launch. When it does arrive on
British soil, it will aim to seek of
stif competition from Spotify,
Deezer and Google Play Music.
The clincher: More than eleven
million listeners sampled the
service in the rst ve days
in the US and Pandoras CFO
MikeHerring says he sees iTunes
Radio as a credible threat.
iTunes Radio launches early next year.
62
Grower champagnes
Small batch, big taste
For a while, it looked like the giant
champagne houses had taken over.
But smaller growers, who use grapes
solely from the local estate and
prioritise terroir over house style,
are back in fashion and appear on
wine lists across London, from Sketch
and Corrigans Mayfair to Bo Lang and
Lutyens. Pro tip: true growers bottles
will have the initials RM on the label.
The clincher: Many are low-dosage,
making them less caloric.
streams. The culprits here are, of
course, Scottish electro trio Chvrches
and LAs Haim. As nominees and
winners of the BBC Sound Of 2013
respectively, these guys have enjoyed
a year of hype that will no doubt
crescendo into 2014. And, like Molly
Ringwald in a John Hughes lm, we
cant help but nd it utterly irresistible.
The clincher: Listen to Chvrches
cover of Haims Falling for a
double hit of the Eighties good stuf.
57
Iron Gym Push Up Max
Welcome to the gun show
Giving the humble press-up a full
hit of gamma radiation, the Iron
Gym Push Up Max is the three-
in-one work-out weapon that
will transform the most spindly
armed into the Incredible Hulk.
Based around a rotating grip
that reduces strain on the wrists
and joints, and allows for a
greater range of motion, the Push
Up Max works the arms, shoulders,
chest, back, and even your abs.
The clincher: The Push Up Max has
already taken the US by storm. If it
works for the second most obese
nation on earth, how can it fail?
34.95. blitzsport.com
58
Stoner
The classic novel
youvenever read
Like James Salter, John
Williams is one of those
novelists who seems to have
been missed by fames eager
eye and his novel Stoner is without
question one of the great forgotten
novels of the 20th century. Set in
the Thirties, rst published in 1965
and recently reissued, the book tells
of William Stoner, a university
professor whose life is in every
sense unexceptional. Crafted by
Williams beautiful yet modest
hold on language, no other
novel is powered by such
deep melancholy of a life so
ordinary and uncelebrated. For
men looking to wallow in lifes
ultimate inconsequentiality, this
isa stoner-cold classic.
The clincher: Having just been
rediscovered and reissued by
Vintage Classics, Stoners moment
inthe spotlight may come yet.
59
Oculus Rift
Virtual gaming gets real
Previously, virtual reality headsets
didnt look all that virtual small
screens may have blocked of the rest
of the world, but the eld of vision
was remarkably small, only around
30 to 40 degrees, making you feel as
if you were peering out from a dark
tunnel. The rise in cheap high-res LCD
screens for smartphones, however,
means upstart headset Oculus Rift
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63
Adle Exarchopoulos
Oh la la
If youve already seen the Palme
dOr-winning Blue Is The Warmest
Colour and if not, why not?
featuring the part-Greek, part-
French Adle Exarchopoulos
and the corruptibly beautiful
LaSeydoux, you wont need much
more convincing of this womans
sexy ennui. As striking as she is
strong, Exarchopoulos seems to
propel herself onscreen with a
muddle of inhibition and instinct,
her performance alongside Seydoux
without doubt Frances most erotic
combo since Marlon Brando reached
for the Prsident butter while lming
Last Tango In Paris.
The clincher: That ten-minute
lesbian sex scene. Exarchopoulos
was cast after the director saw her
demolishing a slice of lemon cake
(Ijust love eating).
G JANUARY 2014
64
The FreedMan Chair
A better way to sit
This chair will not only correct your
slouch, but actually looks, well, pretty
cool. It replicates the spines standing
curves, meaning that its downward
angle of 27 degrees is pointing in the
best direction (normal seats are at
and horizontal). After winning British
Design Of The Year in 2011, inventor
Simon Freedman is currently raising
funds on Kickstarter, and itll be
released later in 2014.
The clincher: The only chair that xes
your standing posture while sitting.
freedmanchair.com
65
Marguax du
ChteauMargaux
A difusion wine for
destinationdiners
With Chinese orders driving Bordeaux
prices ever higher, the venerable
house of Margaux has introduced an
entry level example derived from
lesser plots than those contributing to
its Grand Vin and Pavillon Rouge, but
aged in the same barrels. The result
is a Merlot-heavy keeper thats
nevertheless ready to serve now.
The clincher: Its currently available
only at a collection of the capitals
favourite clubs and restaurants,
including Scotts, the Groucho, Home
House, Grain Store and Balthazar.
chateau-margaux.com/en
66
EyeEm
Instagrams German rival
The Berlin-based photo-sharing
app may only be two years old,
but already has eight million users.
And if youre sick of your Instagram
feed resembling a second-rate
Urban Outtters shoot, EyeEm does
things a little diferently. Co-founder
and CEO Florian Meissner is more
interested in nurturing a network of
photographers, whereby users can sell
photos through EyeEmMarketplace
or request aspecic image.
The clincher: Unlike Instagram,
EyeEm users retain the rights to their
images. And, as a sure sign of things
to come, the app briey overtook its
rival on the iOS charts in January.
eyeem.com
67
4K projectors
Four-play
Along with the next-generation of 4K
TVs, a range of 4K projectors are here
to ofer you four times the resolution
of HD in big-screen cinema viewing.
Sony has been busy updating its line
of 4K video projectors, revamping its
top-of-the-range model and ofering
a new lower-cost alternative.
The clincher: Sit back, relax and
watch Love Actually this Christmas
on Sonys VPL-VW500, a relative
bargain at under 10,000 (the
alternative is nearer20,000).
sony.co.uk
68
Interstellar
Interstellar street
Still trying to gure out what
Inception was really all about? Great
news director Christopher Nolan
(of the Dark Knight trilogy) will take
your mind of it with his new time
travel/alternate dimensions/WTF
is going on movie. Starring Matt
Damon, Matthew McConaughey,
Anne Hathaway and Jessica Chastain,
Interstellar is set in a future where
food is scarce but space travel isnt,
and a group of explorers must nd
their way through a wormhole in
search of sustenance.
The clincher: Nolan says the lm
is based on a script treatment by
renowned theoretical physicist
Kip Thorne. Expect it to be action-
packed, amazing-looking and utterly
incomprehensible. Oscars all round!
Interstellar is out on 7 November 2014.
69
Adnan Januzaj
Englands next superstar?
Adnan Januzaj (pronounced Yan-
uh-zai) was born in Belgium to
Kosovan-Albanian parents and
joined Manchester United at the age
of 16 for a reported 300,000. Sir
Alex Ferguson described him as a
beautifully balanced player and the
United plan had been to send him out
on loan this season, but David Moyes
was so impressed by him during the
teams summer tour of Asia that he
drafted the young winger into the
rst-team squad. The 18-year-old
made his debut in the starting XI
against Sunderland and scored twice.
The clincher: Having not played for
a national side, Januzaj is eligible for
Belgium, Albania, Kosovo, Turkey...
or, if he is resident in the UK for ve
years, England. (Roy Hodgson will
steal his passport if he has to.)
70
Castell Son Claret
Not your average Mallorca
An 18th-century castle in a 325-
acre estate within a Unesco-rated
landscape, Castell Son Claret is as
far removed from package-centric
Mallorca as its possible to be. Its
38 rooms sprawl between castle,
stables and guardhouses; the
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Moorish gardens are ablaze with
bergamot, vetiver, jasmine and the
odd 200-year-old olive tree; and the
saltwater pool overlooks an almond
grove and the Tramuntana mountains.
The clincher: Madrid-based chef
Fernando Prez Arellano has upped
sticks and moved his Michelin-starred
restaurant, Zaranda, to the castle.
castellsonclaret.com

71
The return of Lily Allen
Cooper no more
Back in August, Lily Allen took to
Twitter to tell her followers: Hello,
Im Lily Allen, and Im coming back,
bitches. Despite the fact her bio
already tells us this (I have been
making babies, I have been making
songs), she is indeed making a
comeback. Since she famously
quit the industry back in 2009, the
world has waited four years for new
material from Allen. Her album will
drop next year, but will it be Smile
standard? Well have to wait and see.
The clincher: Sign up to lilyallenmusic.
com for news of future projects.
72
The rise and rise of
theluxury SUV
A great sport
Range Rover may have set the bar
ludicrously high when it comes to the
premium SUV, but that hasnt stopped
other luxury car manufacturers from
joining the fantasy 4x4 party. Next
year sees the launch of the Evoque-
rivalling Porsche Macan and the
start of production on the Maserati
Levante. The big Bentley, Jaguars
C-X17 and the Audi Q8 all arrive in
2016. Never will so much be spent
oncars that can do so much (but
willactually do so little).
The clincher: Most exciting of all is
the Lamborghini Urus, a beautifully
bonkers piece of all-wheel-drive
motoring perfection, out 2017.
73
Alden boots
Cordovan man
Alden has been making leather
shoes since 1884 and is the last man
standing in the once-great New
England boot-making industry.
These classic high-lacing Derby
boots are made in a rich
burgundy cordovan.
The clincher: The original
Alden Indy is the boot of
choice of Indiana Jones, so
getready for adventure.
525. At Farfetch. farfetch.com
74
Ladies And
Gentleman... The
Rolling Stones!
The rock gods get their bible
Like the Stones themselves,
Taschens new volume is larger
than the sum of its parts: 600
pages of photographs by the
likes of Helmut Newton, David
Bailey and Annie Leibovitz
combine with unseen material
from the bands personal
archives to create a visual
precisof the men who turned
rocknroll into a stage spectacle.
The clincher: Every copy will be
signed by Mick Jagger, Ronnie Wood,
Keith Richards and Charlie Watts.
taschen.com
75
Jonathan Franzens
grumpiness
The curmudgeons
curmudgeon
Most of the time we at GQ
like to think were optimistic
souls, but when it does come
to taking aim at the vulgarities
of the modern world, there is no
one we nod our collective heads
to quite so vigorously as that big
beast of American letters, Jonathan
Franzen. From e-books (just not
permanent enough) to Twitter (the
ultimate irresponsible medium), from
Amazon (one of the four horsemen)
to the US as a whole (almost a rogue
state), its Olympic-level moaning,
ona viral scale.
The clincher: Did we mention his
views on world population? No?
What about the plight of birds...
76
Henri Matisse at
the Tate Modern
The cutouts
Une seconde vie (a second
life) was what Matisse called the
last 14 years of his life, despite
being diagnosed with cancer. With
the help of his Russian assistant,
Lydia Delectorskaya, he developed
his nal artistic triumph: cutting into
colour. The Tate Modern in London
is curating what will be the most
comprehensive exhibition of the
artists larger-than-life cut-paper
collages. More than 120 works
many never seen before will
be brought together.
The clincher: He called it:
painting with scissors, but
Matisses cut-outs are among
the most admired and inuential
works of his entire career.
17 April - 7 September 2014. tate.org.uk
77
Food trucks become
permanent restaurants
Watch the wheels come of
Remember two years ago, when
New York-style gourmet food
trucks were all the rage? Well,
Londons following in the
footsteps of Manhattan once
again and those wagons are
getting permanent homes. Pizza
Pilgrims and Homeslice have
already migrated to bricks and
mortar, and are going gangbusters.
The clincher: Foodie darlings
Bunnychow and Street Kitchen are
rumoured to be following suit.
pizzapilgrims.co.uk;
homeslicepizza.co.uk
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78
Ford Fiesta ST
As cool as Ford
Yes, we are recommending a car
for less than 20,000. Yes, we are
recommending a Ford. And yes, we
are recommending a Fiesta. But no,
we havent gone mad. The Fiesta ST,
with its 1.6-litre, 180bhp EcoBoost
engine, will y from 0-62mph in
under seven seconds and hit 139mph.
But its not the speed that makes it
special its the fact that it is also
cheap, practical, exciting, and more
fun to sit in than Kate Uptons lap.
The clincher: Not only does it look
great and handle brilliantly, the Fiesta
ST also sounds amazing too (thanks
to the engine noise being piped into
the cabin via the sound symposer).
From 16,995. ford.co.uk

79
The rebirth of the
Bibendum Oyster Bar
Out of its shell
In 1987 Sir Terence Conran, superchef
Simon Hopkinson and Lord Paul
Hamlyn launched Bibendum in the
iconic Michelin House (Bibendum
is the name of the Michelin Man).
Twenty-six years on, they remain
as passionate as ever about the
restaurant and have redesigned and
relaunched the Oyster Bar, with a
new open kitchen, beautiful glass
screens and a seafood display.
The clincher: With a new menu co-
created by Hopkinson and Matthew
Harris (another 26-year veteran),
for the rst time the Oyster bar
willserve breakfast.
bibendum.co.uk

80
Oscar Isaac
Get used to that name
When the Coen brothers were casting
their upcoming lm, Inside Llewyn
Davis, about a drifting Sixties folk
singer, they didnt want a musician
who could act, they wanted an
actor who could play music. Oscar
Isaac, who broke through as Carey
Mulligans criminal husband in Drive,
is one of those rare few, doing as
good a line in world-weary, agitated
characters as he does in stirring guitar
songs. Next up: starring opposite
Viggo Mortensen and Kirsten Dunst
inThe Two Faces Of January.
The clincher: Alex Garlands
forthcoming directorial debut,
ExMachina, gives Isaac top billing.
Inside Llewyn Davis is out on
24January 2014.

81
TaylorMade SLDR driver
Club class
All golfers share a pathological
beliefthat the only thing missing from
their game is the latest club. Most
ofthem are clearly wrong (a full-body
transplant couldnt help some), but
TaylorMades new SLDR driver might,
just might, be the exception. Its
adjustable 20-gram sliding weight
means it can be altered to t your
swing, ofering a faster ball speed,
less spin and greater distance. So
good, its a shame you cant use it
for putting, really.
The clincher: With the slider
options and a 12-position
rotating hosel, the SLDR has 252
possible congurations... surely
one of those will suit you.
349. taylormadegolf.eu

82
El Primero
Lightweight Striking
10th by Zenith
Time to lose the fat
Too much ab is never a good
thing, and in watch design
normally demonstrates girth over
gorgeousness. But Zenith have gone
to the other extreme, stripping down
its El Primero movement (capable of
timing to a tenth of a second, hence
its name) and rebuilding it using
titanium and silicon parts, housed
within a carbon case. The result is a
watch that sits well within the sports/
contemporary category, but boasts
ground-breaking new technology.
The clincher: By subtly enlarging the
Striking 10ths traditional casework
from 42mm to 45mm, Zenith has
created a dashboard dial thats
both avant-garde and deeply sexy.
13,600. At Harrods. harrods.com
83
Sumotech by Bumble
And Bumble
Give us strength
It isnt quite a putty or a cream and
you certainly couldnt call it a wax
but when something makes you
look this good, you dont get bogged
down in semantics. Equally suited to
tighter and longer styles, a small dab
warmed up and run quickly through
damp hair creates lasting shape
80
JANUARY 2014 G
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Fish Kitchen is a homely eight-
tabled afair in Port Isaac,
Cornwall. Locally sourced
seafood, some from
the harbour 12 feet
away, is served small-
plate style; many of
the dishes like the
phenomenal salt
ling with mushroom
ketchup will appear
in Outlaws new book
(out in April), but are
being trialled here rst.
The clincher: Sign up for the
free Grub Club mailing list and
getten per cent of.
outlaws.co.uk/fishkitchen
88
LG curved TV
The future is curved
This is a sea-change moment for TV
design. But we know what youre
thinking: that thing is going to look
really weird on my living room wall
next to the Rothkos. Well, dont
redecorate just yet. Once youve
experienced the augmented sensory
jolt richer colours, deeper blacks
all those doubts you had about the
bendy shape will seem petty. The
keyword here is immersive.
The clincher: Super-charged with 4K
technology, there are more pixels,
more detail and more gawping.
7,999. lg.com/uk
89
Anthony Joshua
Britains heavyweight hope
David Haye, Tyson Fury and Dereck
Chisora take note: Anthony Joshua
didnt start boxing until he was
18, and yet won Olympic super
heavyweight gold ve years later.
With that kind of career progression,
Watfords 6ft 6in ghter will be world
champion within three years.
The clincher: He is the greatest British
heavyweight hope since Lennox
Lewis, who also won Olympic gold.
(We dont speak of Audley Harrison.)
90
Gel-Kayano 20 running
shoes by Asics
Well Gel
What the Gucci loafer is to the
sartorially savvy, Asics Gel Kayano is
to smart runners. The latest iteration
celebrates its 20th anniversary, and
in two decades the shoe must have
completed more marathons than any
other, such is its ubiquity in big-race
corrals. New upgrades include a
mid-sole that boosts stability and a
technical mesh that ensures the shoe
ts like a glove while keeping the
weight down.
The clincher: Asics new FluidRide
technology provides even more
bounce and cushioning to the feet
than usual meaning theyre built
forcomfort and speed.
129.99. asics.co.uk
without giving the impression
that you tried too hard.
Even if you did.
The clincher: Its a
trade secret of mens
fashion stylists from
London to New York.
21.50 for 50ml.
bumbleand
bumble.co.uk
84
The BXG
room
The real red room
Last year GQ introduced you
to the Box Of Grey, a high-end
ight box which contained every
aid to bedroom adventures you
could imagine. Now, theyve teamed
with the Sanctum Soho to create
Londons rst dedicated room the
BXG Room with a case forever on
standby for their more adventurous
guests. Just try not to book your
mother-in-law in there by accident.
The clincher: The hotel contains a
rooftop spa for you to kick back and
relax in after, um, exerting yourself.
boxofgrey.com

85
Marissa Mayer
Queen nerd
There are plenty of things we could
tell you about Yahoo!s 38-year-old
boss: that since she was appointed
in July 2012 she has overseen the
$1.1bn purchase of Tumblr; that she
is behind a massive rise in prots;
that under her tenure, the companys
stock price has doubled. But mainly
wed just like to pay tribute to the
hottest CEO in Silicon Valley.
The clincher: When the stock price
is up, shes getting down the
neighbours have started complaining
about her raucous parties.

86
Leica X Vario
Smile!
Theres a reason Mad Men made the
Leica M series Don Drapers camera
of choice: since its rise to prominence
in the Fifties, it has been the prestige
option for everyday photography.
But schlepping around a bag full of
lenses? Its not for us. So Leica have
released the X Vario: a xed-lens
version of the classic M that doesnt
skimp on features it boasts HD
video, a sizeable three-inch monitor,
fast autofocus, and a 16.2-megapixel
sensor but makes for a much more
appealing travel companion.
The clincher: Its ISO sensitivity goes
up to a whopping 12,500, so it can
shoot in almost any light conditions.
2,150. leica.com
87
Outlaws Fish Kitchen
Britains nest seafood
without the waiting list
A new sibling for his double-Michelin-
starred gaf in Rock, Nathan Outlaws
84 87
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91
David Camerons
politics of stasis
Doing it his way
Tony Blairs intimate relationship
with the press he was terried that
if he didnt feed the media, it would
eat him created a political culture
xated on headlines. So its refreshing
to see an PM acting out of conviction
rather than calculation. David
Camerons programme of social and
economic reforms is a slow, steady
slog: it doesnt produce sexy sound
bites and it leaves the news agenda
up to the journalists. But it has
allowed the government to do the
impossible actually seem honest.
The clincher: Its winning Cameron
the trust he needs to go into the 2015
general election on a sure footing.
92
The BFI Player
Stream machine
Time was, to see one of the lms in
the British Film Institutes archive,
you had to trek over to the blasted
heath of Londons South Bank. Now,
you can watch the best of British
cinema online both free classics and
pay-to-view new releases through
its new iPlayer-esque website.
The clincher: See the country as it was
more than 100 years ago through the
lms of pioneering documentarians
such as James Kenyon.
player.b.org.uk

93
Tom Ford grooming
accessories
Groom like the master
His fragrances may be available to all,
but Tom Fords grooming accessories
are strictly for the wildly extravagant.
Crafted from the nest materials,
the deer horn and enamel bowl
looks more like an objet dart from
a sculpture gallery than a shaving-
brush receptacle, and the alligator-
skin grooming kit features an 18-carat
gold comb. Its grooming t for kings.
The clincher: Searching for the
perfect gift? The hunt stops here.
Deer-horn shaving bowl, 960.
Shaving brushes, 430-680.
Alligator-skin grooming kit, 7,030.
tomford.com
94
Life trackers
Data gone wild
With tness trackers NikeFuel and
Fitbit all the rage, theres now an app
for almost every aspect of your life.
Record how long you spend at work,
home, the gym and in trafc with
time-tracking Chronos. Whackall this
data on to website exist.io and it will
visualise the information as charts.
And in a morbid twist, the Tikker
wristwatch counts down to your
probable death. It does also helpfully
tell the time, but the pointis to
remind you life is short... we think.
The clincher: Part tness tracker,
part watch, Fitbits new wristband,
the Force, will rival Nikes FuelBand
displaying everything on a brand-
spankingly shiny OLED display.
exist.io
95
The blazers at Vicomte A
For the haves and the
have-yachts
Arthur de Soultrait has long been
associated with ne living. The
youngaristocrats raucous parties
are one of Paris hottest invitations
and his fashion company, Vicomte
A, is similarly about wedding the
traditionaland the playful. With
27 stores in France, and a further
12 around the world, the brand
has nowopened in Britain
onLondonsKings Road. Its
modern twists on classic pieces
especially the unmistakable
jackets have found rm
favour with the capitals
preppyset.
The clincher: The Gstaad
blazer conceals a ash of red
beneath the collar, allowing you to
transform it from smart daywear to
sprezzi eveningwear with a pop.
420. vicomte-a.com
96
Richard Hamilton
attheTate Modern
Art house
That the founding father of pop
art is synonymous with only one
piece of work Just What Is It That
Makes Todays Home So Diferent, So
Appealing (1956) is criminal. This
retrospective radically re-presents
Richard Hamilton, bringing together
everything from his political pieces
(Hamilton takes on Blair!), through to
the canvases painted in his last days.
The clincher: The Tate will reconstruct
his ground-breaking installation Fun
House (1956), a room of images from
art history, lm and magazines.
13 February - 26 May, 2014. tate.org.uk

97
Colourful bomber
jackets
The warmest colour
The most ubiquitous garment from
the recent London Collections: Men
was the humble bomber jacket. Not
a new trend, of course, but on this
occasion you have more to play with
than its humdrum predecessors. The
conundrum now is which print to go
for; from Calvin Kleins pyjama-esque
stripes, to Louis Vuittons shimmery
plastic, to if you dare Jonathan
Saunders and Diesels metallics,
there is a style to suit all tastes.
The clincher: Weve got our eye on
super-brand J Crews suede number
from next springs line.
98
Mexican food gets real
Theyre nacho regular dishes
Forget Tex-Mex: a new breed
of Mexican restaurant, which
rst emerged in Londons
Soho with La Bodega Negra
and is now hitting its stride,
ofers an authentic taste of
the homeland, with none of the
fun theming, plastic cheese or
loathsome family outings.
The clincher: The trend is winning
over upscale restaurateurs such
as Arjun Waney (the man behind
Londons Arts Club), whose Mexican
destination, Peyote, has just opened
in Mayfair.
Peyote, 13-14 Cork Street, London W1.

99
The rise of the
pickleback
Pickle what?
Chasing shots of whisky with
shots ofpickle brine might not
sound sensible, but the surprisingly
satisfying combination, which
originated in the hipster haven
ofBrooklyn, is spreading through
the British restaurant scene. Try it
atLondons Soho Diner, the latest
towelcome it on to their menus.
The clincher: Its the only shooter
inthe world that immediately
makesyou want another.
sohodiner.com
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100
Eat, Drink, Nap
SohoHouse book
So Hospitable!
The godfather of groovy times,
NickJones, throws open the
theoretical doors to his global
SohoHouse business to share a
little of the ne detail that goes into
creating his celebrated social hubs.
From recipes to cocktails, glassware
to party etiquette, every element
of the brands hugely successful
savoir-faire is covered of: down to
the correct way to hang your art.
Neither a manual, nor a manifesto,
it is instead a bible for anyone
determined to do it right.
The clincher: Currently available
onlyto members, Eat, Drink, Nap
goes public next month.
Random House, 30.
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Rogues gallery:
1 Terrorist Carlos
the Jackal 2 Rue
Marbeuf, Paris,
1982, after abomb
planted by Johannes
Weinrich 3 SS ofcer
and Nazi war
criminal Klaus
Barbie, 1944
4 Mose Tshombe,
the president of
Katanga, visiting
Geneva, 1960 5 US
forces train in 1990
before the 1991 Gulf
War in which Iraqi
forces lit Kuwaiti oil
wells 6 Tariq Aziz,
Iraqi deputy prime
minister (left) and
Saddam Hussein,
pictured in 2003
7 Serb Slobodan
Milosevic on trial
at the Hague, 2001
8 The Serb army
retreats from
Pristina, 1999
9 Leader of the
Khmer Rouge,
PolPot, 1984
10 Khmer Rouge
guerillas in western
Cambodia, 1981
The defence
4
3
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5 6 7
JACQUES VERGS
JANUARY 2014 G
One lawyer was notorious for his
controversial clients, including
tyrants, terrorists and dictators
on trial for crimes against
humanity. Jacques Vergs, in the
last interview he gave before his
death last August, makes a case for
his role as the devils
,
advocate
STO ROBERT CHALMERS
Flare for publicity:
Lawyer Jacques
Vergs, with his
trademark cigar, is
surrounded by the
press at Charles
de Gaulle airport,
Paris, April 1997
of evil
8 9 10
201
G JANUARY 2014
That last noun might equally be replaced by another: comrades, say, or
co-conspirators. His friends and associates have included men like the
Cambodian dictator Pol Pot, and Ilich Ramirez Snchez, better known
as Carlos the Jackal, who blew up Marseille railway station and shot
dead among others two French policemen (a soldier, Vergs once
called the Venezuelan, in a noble cause). Then theres the Gestapo
chief Klaus Barbie, who the lawyer addressed as mon capitaine, and
joined in a rendition of Lili Marlene during his 1987 trial. Logistical
snags thwarted his wish to represent Saddam Hussein, but he did act for
the late dictators deputy prime minister, Tariq Aziz. Slobodan Milosevic
defended himself, but called on Vergs support throughout his trial in
the Hague. Vergs is customarily referred to as the Devils Advocate
and called his autobiography The Brilliant Bastard.
Carlos the Jackal once described him as a bigger terrorist than I am.
The lawyers imposing ofce, close to the Pigalle area of Paris (this
neighbourhood, he tells me, with some satisfaction, is becoming more
and more seedy) is lined with bookcases and
tapestries, and decorated with African sculp-
tures. The room is dimly lit, its blinds drawn.
Vergs, one of the greatest French public
speakers of his time, is less enamoured of
giving interviews. I rst met him in 1994,
when he was defending Omar Raddad, a
Moroccan gardener who was being tried, on
highly contentious evidence, for the murder
of an heiress in Cannes. We have remained in
occasional contact since then, and this urbane,
quietly spoken man has never been less than
gracious in our dealings; even if, to borrow that
most ungrammatical clich, he seems to relish
the company of some people most of us would
not want to breathe the same air as. A few
years ago, I came here to ask him about the
whereabouts of an Algerian fraudster who was
then the subject of an Interpol arrest warrant.
Vergs picked up a piece of paper and, in a
neat hand, wrote out an address in south
London, then passed the note across the desk.
Elegantly dressed, with great vitality and a
dry sense of humour, Vergs, born in 1925, has
always seemed strangely ageless. Interviewed
for Barbet Schroeders extraordinary film
Terrors Advocate, which won 2008s Csar,
or French Oscar, for best documentary, he
looked no older than he had 20 years earlier.
Which makes it something of a shock to see
him today. He looks weak, withered, and has
reduced mobility in his right hand. His speech
is faint and slurred. He suffered a serious fall,
he explains, four months ago, in his apart-
ment upstairs. His trademark cigar is absent.
Looking at his desk, I cant see the ornamental
crystal snake that has become a kind of mascot
for him. Any other time Ive been here it has
been prominently positioned, its head rearing
as though poised to strike any visitor.
I love snakes, Vergs once said. They live
a secret life; they are solitary; they thrive in
darkness. I am that snake. No matter how
many showers I take, I cant wash from my
reptilian brain the smell of death, the under-
growth and, he added, of life.
The jewel-encrusted serpent was a gift from
Marlon Brandos daughter, Cheyenne. The
Tahitian model hanged herself in 1995, aged
25. The lawyer had unsuccessfully defended
her half-brother Christian, who was charged
with the murder of her lover.
Wheres it gone? I ask him.
He looks around the desk.
I... I dont know.
Actors and biographers,
I suggest to Jacques
Vergs, sometimes
remark that they
retain some trace
of every character
in whom they are
required to immerse
themselves.
Can that happen to
lawyers? I ask him.

I
,
d even defend George W Bush. But only if he
202
JANUARY 2014 G
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JACQUES VERGS
At which point, for some unknown reason,
I nd myself worrying about his condition.
The accident, he insists, has not curtailed his
activities. In a couple of weeks time he will be
in Italy. Since Ill be in that country, I moot the
possibility of a second meeting.
Im at your disposal, he says.
It is a meeting which never materialises
because a little less than a week after we say
goodbye, Jacques Vergs will take his last
breath in an adjacent bedroom, in the arms of
his ance, the Marquise Marie-Christine de
Solages, following a heart attack. It is the same
room in which Voltaire died, 235 years earlier.
Few would deny that any alleged criminal
deserves representation. (When asked if he
would have defended Hitler, Vergs replied,
Id even defend George [W] Bush. But only if
he pleads guilty.) But looking at his client list,
even the lawyer must concede that a certain
pattern emerges, an apparent tendency to be
drawn towards the most reviled characters in
modern history. You say that, he says, but
remember that there have been many people
in my life. When I was 17, I enlisted with the
In my opinion, Vergs replies, the noun
terrorist, as it is used today, has no meaning.
In the French language, the word was coined
by the Nazis, as a pejorative term for the
Resistance. Of course the notion of terror as
a tactic was long established here, going back
to the revolution of 1789 and before. It was
Saint-Just [the military leader who drafted the
constitution of 1793] who said, Terror is the
peoples justice. It is the weapon of the poor.
Its precisely this sort of statement that makes
you realise what an unusual man Vergs is.
How is it that such rhetoric, which might not be
so shocking from an 18-year-old hothead, can
come from a mature man of such brilliant intel-
ligence? Quietly, and without emotion, Vergs
challenges you to confront your preconcep-
tions. Were the French Resistance terrorists,
he asks you, when they were murdering the
occupying German forces, in the certain knowl-
edge that Nazi reprisals would take the lives
of dozens of their innocent neighbours? What
about the allied raids on Marseille or Dresden,
in the Second World War, which killed so many
civilians? Or Etas assassination of Francisco
Francos deputy, Admiral de Carrero Blanco, in
1973, without which the Spanish
fascists might have remained in
power for many more years?
It was precisely his ability to mask
his ercely rebellious instincts and
maintain a glacial, austere demean-
our, that made him a fascinating
gure, and an antihero for many
of his compatriots. Discretion, wit
and a disarming sense of irony
allowed Matre Vergs, to give him
his formal lawyers title, to operate
at the highest level of the estab-
lishment he professed to despise.
Schroeders Terrors Advocate,
one of the greatest documentary lms I have
ever seen, begins with an interview with Pol
Pot, the kind of guy who, in Vergs words,
enjoyed a good laugh.
Jacques Vergs, Pol Pot explains, once
wrote that he has known me for 20 or 30 years,
as a man who is polite, discreet, and always has
a smile on his face.
There are surviving photographs of Vergs
warmly embracing several senior members of
the Khmer Rouge.
People died in Cambodia, the lawyer says.
There was famine. There was repression.
Regarding the numbers of dead, you simply
have to look at the number of skeletons found
in mass graves. Its nothing like as many as
people have claimed. History has wilfully
ignored the American bombings, and the
famine caused by the US blockade. Everything
was blamed on the Khmer Rouge.
The driving force behind Vergs career,
friends say, and the instinct which motivated
his defence of such odious or psychotic gures
as Klaus Barbie or Carlos the Jackal, is simply
a deeply rooted detestation of colonial rule
Court controversy:
The 1987 trial of
Nazi Klaus Barbie
atthe Palais de
Justice, Lyon, for
crimes against
humanity. Vergs,
seated on the lower
bench in the left of
the picture, was his
defence lawyer
Free French Army under General de Gaulle, a
man under sentence of death from the Nazis.
I believe that ghting for de Gaulle was one of
the very best things that happened to me, ever.
I have no doubt that Jacques Vergs, should
he have chosen an orthodox career path, might
easily have become a leading player on the
world stage, along with his one-time friends
and comrades Chairman Mao and Nelson
Mandela. Lack of intellect, determination or
courage would not have been a problem.
I suppose I could have become a law pro-
fessor, he concedes. Or I might have been
a diplomat. Instead, during the Algerian War
[a conict that began ofcially with the revo-
lution in 1954] I chose to defend women who
had planted bombs in public areas. I had an
empathy for the Algerians struggle. I will not
condemn their use of violence.
His second wife, the Algerian Djamila
Bouhired, was convicted of blowing up a bar
in Algiers that was popular with Westerners.
She is one of his very many clients who would
traditionally be described as a terrorist. Would
he care to dene the term?
pleads guilty
,
JACQUES ,
203
G JANUARY 2014

and the killings and torture that have often
been used to maintain it. In the military courts
of Algeria he developed his tactic of what he
called rupture: a refusal to recognise the legit-
imacy of the court on the grounds that those
judging the accused have themselves commit-
ted crimes of similar magnitude, or much worse.
Trials, according to Vergs, are never simple
binary operations, like computer programs.
They are more analogous to Frankensteins
laboratory; people create something which
becomes impossible to control. You see this in
other areas of life. The Americans helped
al-Qaeda at the beginning; then they got out of
control. They were friends of Saddam Hussein;
then he got out of control. As people do.
J
acques Vergs was born in Ubon
Ratchathani, Siam (now Thailand),
where his father, a physician, was
French consul. But Raymond Vergs
was dismissed from the diplomatic
service after marrying Vergs Vietnamese
mother, Pham Thi Khang; interracial marriages
were forbidden by the French authorities.
Shunned by polite Siamese society, Raymond
left to practise medicine in the (then) French
colony of Runion, where his wife, unused
to the climate, died of fever. Jacques and his
brother, Paul, who, depending on who you
believe, may or may not be his twin (Vergs
himself is unsure, because of the apparently
conicting birth records) were three years old.
The two brothers (Paul became head of the
Communist Party in Runion) had ample cause
to bridle at injustice before they could speak
the word. One of your friends, I remind him,
said you were born into anger.
Absolutely not, says Vergs. I was born
with an awareness of being different. Runion
was a place where people of colour had to
keep out of the way of others. So I came to
believe that orthodox rules applied to me, but
not to the letter. I developed a strong sense of
natural justice.
Raymonds most desperate patients, Vergs
recalls, having no means of paying medical
bills, came directly to the family home.
My father treated them all, he says. My
earliest memories are of a parade of physical
suffering through the house. I saw people with
leprosy, cancer and lupus; elephantiasis and
bullet wounds.
Do you have any memories of your mother?
A few, he says. (She had no need to wear
the yellow star, he told the judge, during Klaus
Barbies trial at Lyon in 1987. She was yellow
from head to foot.)
At 17, dreaming of wounds and bruises, he
sailed into Liverpool and enlisted with the Free
French Army as an artilleryman.
My experience of England inuenced me
greatly, he says. I had expected the English
to be racists in the Victorian tradition. What I
found was the absolute opposite. The people
were so very hospitable and kind to us. And I
certainly remember the girls.
After the war he spent eleven years in the
French Communist Party where he was said
to be a particularly violent and uncontrol-
lable inuence, according to one history of
the movement. Though he left the party in
the Fifties, his opinions would always retain a
certain robustness.
When I see that photograph of Stalin
smiling and shaking Ribbentrops hand,
Vergs writes in The Brilliant Bastard, I say
to myself: there is a man who knows how to
stand alone.
He completed degrees in history, literature
and oriental languages in Paris, where he
rst met Pol Pot. In 1951 he became secre-
tary of the International Union Of Students
in Prague (where he rubbed shoulders with
future East German leader Erich Honecker
and Nelson Mandela) then spent four years
travelling with his rst wife, Colette, who is
now dead. On his return to France, he joined
the Paris bar and espoused the cause of
Algerian Independence.
When the war ended, the colonial repres-
sion intensied, he says. Notably with the
1945 massacres in Algeria.
His rst client in Algiers, following the revo-
lution, was Djamila Bouhired. A young woman
accused of blowing up an establishment called
the Milk Bar, she had been brutally beaten by
French police and paratroop forces.
She was tortured, Vergs says, on her
hospital bed. The stitches in her wounds were
cut open. She appeared in court with terrible
abscesses. At the trials of Bouhired and others,
observers heckled Vergs as the Chink and
mocked him with cut-throat gestures.
Bouhired laughed when she was condemned
to death. And the judge, according to Vergs,
said, Do not laugh, Mademoiselle: this is
serious. I had dozens of friends condemned
to death. I couldnt sleep at night.
In the event, none of Vergs clients were
to be executed.
As I recall, I tell him, you had certain con-
tingency plans, should any of them have died?
My friend Georges Arnaud [the writer and
political activist best known for his novel The
Wages Of Fear, which inspired the classic lm
starring Yves Montand] once asked me, What
happens if I am executed? I told him, I will
request a private meeting with Mr Lacoste
[the governor-general of Algeria who in 1957
publicly defended the use of torture against
the countrys National Liberation Front (FLN)]
or General Massu [who is widely perceived
to have overseen the torture]. I will keep the
appointment, and I will kill them.
Friends say that Vergs fell head over heels
in love at his rst interview with Bouhired.
Sentenced to the guillotine in 1957, she was
pardoned the following year. The couple
married in 1965.
Vergs own execution had been ordered
at least twice: once in the Mitterrand years,
according to renegade secret service agent
Paul Barril. (Vergs, would later defend Barril,
who is currently the subject of judicial inves-
tigation into possible complicity in genocide
in Rwanda.) His elimination had been com-
missioned years earlier, during the Algerian
conict, by then prime minister Michel Debr:
a fact conrmed by senior gures, including a
colonel who has described the command chain
both on camera and in his memoirs.
Vergs friend and legal colleague Ould
Aoudia was murdered by the security services.
Some, he recalls, were killed. My name
was second on the list. I received an anony-
mous letter bearing the message: You are going
to die. I survived.
Vergs founded a magazine called African
Revolution, whose contributors included Che
Guevara. In one issue he is photographed
having tea with Chairman Mao (who was a bulk
subscriber). Throughout the Algerian War he
was chief lawyer for the FLN widely regarded
in France as a terrorist group akin to the IRA.
It would have been very easy, according
to Vergs once close friend, the cartoonist
Maurice Sinet, known as Sin, for the lawyer
to have become an outright terrorist.
There was always so much to do then
people to smuggle across the border, money
to collect, Sinet told me. But when we were
back in Paris, we used to have a laugh. Wed
go out on the Champs lyses in my Mercedes.
Vergs would take my water pistol and pick
off pedestrians. After a bombing, because he
knew his phone was tapped, hed call me and
say: Hey Bob. Did you see that mortar hit
the power station? One hundred and eighty!
With Vergs, he explained, the end justi-
ed the means. He used to tell me: You know
what your trouble is? Youve got principles.
He didnt have any. He was wild.
The pair had fallen out in recent years,
mainly over Sinets unease at the incremen-
tally poisonous nature of Vergs client list.
Sinets sulking, says the lawyer, because
Im not anarchistic enough.
In Algeria, says the cartoonist, he wasnt
a lawyer. He was a brother and a comrade. He
frightened a lot of people. And back then he
was frightening the right people. Its horren-
dous, the people he would defend later on.

The most terrifying thing about Vergs is not his ideas. It
,
s his life
,

204
JANUARY 2014 G
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JACQUES VERGS
J
acques Vergs made his fortune by
acting for some of the less amiable
African leaders. They include men like
Omar Bongo of Gabon, Gnassingb
Eyadma of Togo, despots whose
human-rights records are grotesque even by the
unenviable standards of the African continent.
He represented Moussa Traor of Mali, who
has the dubious distinction of being the rst
African leader to turn machine guns on his own
citizens. In 1961 Vergs was beaten up by police
while protesting against the killing of Patrice
Lumumba the rst prime minister of the inde-
pendent Congo, who was shot after days of
brutal torture. Six years later he was acting for
Lumumbas murderer, Mose Tshombe.
Why should I worry, the lawyer asks,
about defending men who have been wel-
comed into the lyse Palace as friends of the
French Republic?
Some years ago I had a conversation with the
broadcaster Jean-Louis Remilleux, the lawyers
collaborator on The Brilliant Bastard. The most
terrifying thing about Vergs, Remilleux told
me, is not his ideas. Its his life.
In 1970 Vergs was living with his wife
Bouhired and their two children in Algiers,
when he casually announced that he was
taking a short trip to Spain. He wasnt seen
again until he resurfaced in Paris in 1978, and
resumed practising law as though nothing had
happened. Bouhired, who refuses all inter-
view requests, is now divorced and living in
Algiers; she had no idea of his whereabouts.
Bouhired did not attend Vergs funeral in
Paris, though their son, Liess, and daughter,
Meriem, were present.
Over the years I have spoken to many senior
French intelligence experts, leading political
gures including Danielle Mitterrand and all
of the lawyers biographers; none appeared to
know for certain where he was. Many believe
he spent time in Syria, working for the Popular
Front for the Liberation of Palestine. Others
suggest Katanga, in the Congo. It has been
alleged that he was in Cambodia with Pol Pot,
a notion he liked to encourage but which is
conclusively disproved in Terrors Advocate,
when one of Pol Pots closest aides recalls the
Cambodian leader reading The Brilliant Bastard
and inscribing the word NO! in the margin
next to the passage that intimates that they
may have been together at this time.
My obituaries were kind, says Vergs.
Such promise snuffed out so young that
kind of thing.
To vanish for almost a decade, then return
with your secret intact, seems a much more
challenging task than Lord Lucans one-way
ticket to oblivion.
Very challenging, he replies. Unless you
are instinctively discreet.
We have discussed this period several
times before; I dont imagine that, after all
this time, youre suddenly going to tell me
where you were.
I was not acting as a lawyer, he says. And I
was with others, who were also working under
cover, some of whom are still alive. I have to
be careful, for their sakes.
How often, I ask Vergs, did you see
Carlos the Jackal before you represented him
[briey, in 1994] as a lawyer?
This question is another he has elded many
times, and it always receives the same answer.
Never. And I stopped working for him after
four months.
Why? Because hes a psychopath?
As his former lawyer, etiquette forbids me
to comment.
Papers recovered from Stasi files in the
mid-Nineties would seem to demonstrate
that Vergs, or Herzog as he was known,
was centrally involved with, and paid by,
the group assembled by Carlos and his lieu-
tenant, Johannes Weinrich, leader of the
Revolutionary Cells in Frankfurt. The two
men, who were also conniving with some
unpalatable Nazi sympathisers, were based in
Budapest, then Damascus. (Carlos would even-
tually be kidnapped in Sudan, in 1994, and is
currently in prison at Clairvaux, two hours
southeast of Paris.)
So why, in a telephone interview recorded
in 2006, does Carlos reminisce about the local
kids greeting Uncle Jacques when you visited
him in Damascus? Why does he say, in the
same conversation, that you met him at least
20 times between 1982 and 1991?
Listen, Carlos was in hiding. Why on earth
would he publicly bring a stranger into his
neighbourhood? (I suspect that he thinks of
adding, Under my own name?) When they
were planning that lm, Terrors Advocate,
Vergs said, they called me and asked if

-LOUIS REMILLEUX, BROADCASTER
Legal battle: Vergs
bleedsfrom a head wound
after protesting about the
execution of Congolese
Patrice Lumumba at the
Belgian embassy, Paris, 1961
205
G JANUARY 2014

I would be interviewed. I could tell they
were astonished when I agreed. I think they
believed they could entrap me. In the event,
he adds, I believe the opposite was the case.
W
hat is certain is that, in the
early Eighties, Vergs became
enamoured of Magdalena
Kopp, who had married
Carlos in 1979. Kopp had
been sent to Paris by Carlos in 1982, with
orders to go to a parking lot near the Champs
lyses and collect a car containing detonators
and explosives. Carlos plan was to blow up a
Middle Eastern embassy, with a view to extor-
tion of funds. Kopp was ambushed by police as
she entered the vehicle. Following her arrest,
Carlos group sent for Vergs. Kopp was sen-
tenced to four years. Vergs regularly visited
her in her cell at Fresnes, on the outskirts of
Paris, taking her books, cakes, and other small
luxuries. Kopp knitted Vergs a sweater in
prison; something, she has said, that she never
did for Carlos.
Some men, I tell the lawyer, are attracted
to women with a certain hair colour, or gure,
or who wear a certain perfume. I sometimes
think that your dream girl is carrying a rocket
launcher and a machine gun.
The lawyer shakes his head.
No. You are quite wrong. I have known and
admired many different kinds of women. I got
on extremely well with Cheyenne Brando, for
example. I dont recall her carrying weapons.
Vergs never remarried following his self-
imposed exile, though at the time of his death
was planning an alliance with Marie-Christine
de Solages. One of his ex-lovers was a colleague
in chambers, Isabelle Coutant-Peyre; she later
took up with Carlos the Jackal, explaining that
the Venezuelan is completely different from
Vergs notably, as I remind him, in that
Carlos has fewer secrets.
She said hes less secretive than me? Why
should that surprise you?
Frankness, I suggest, is not his strong point.
You call a dog, Vergs replies, it comes. I
belong to the cat family.
You could tell me he spent the Seventies
running guns for the Khmer Rouge, feeding
orphans in Kenya, or serving at a McDonalds
in Le Touquet, one reporter told me. No
explanation the best or the worst would
surprise me of Vergs.
The lawyer disappeared on what he called
his long vacation a few months after the
death of Mose Tshombe, leading some to
suspect that the disappearance of Vergs and
the Congolese assassins vast fortune had been
simultaneous.
Vergs, however, denies the accusation.
When I came back, he says, I was broke.
All of which makes it
curious that one of his then
friends, a lawyer called Jean-
Claude Cain, claimed, in a
1987 interview with the Libration newspa-
per, that he had occasionally hidden Vergs in
Paris during his exile.
Jacques would ring up and say, Dont
ask where I have been, he said. I have no
money. Cain, who is no longer willing to speak
on the subject, added that when his friend
returned for good, he had debts and a suit-
case full of bank notes. He told me, Pay them
with that. I said, Where did you get it? He
said, From Tshombe.
This last statement is untrue, claims Vergs,
though he does tell me that he would periodi-
cally resurface in Paris carrying large sums in
cash. So why did Cain say what he did?
It sounds to me as if he was hallucinat-
ing. As he says this, the lawyer scratches
his left earlobe the kind of abrupt, nervous
movement that police interviewers are taught
to look out for as an indication of a lie, though
with Vergs such a gesture might equally be a
mischievous double bluff.
In recalling this period, he does tend to
repeat one or two well-honed anecdotes.
When I came back to Paris, he says,
I was in hiding for a while. One day I went
to the grocers to buy bread. Behind me,
in the queue, I saw the widow of a former
colleague. I could see her staring at me in
amazement, getting ready to tell everybody
shed seen Vergs. So I turned to her and
shouted (the lawyer assumes a coarse voice),
Hey, fatso wassup? She stepped back as
though Id undone my ies. I knew that if
she told anyone, nobody would believe her.
Theyd all say, Oh, the poor thing. Since her
husband died, shes gone to pieces.
Personally, I have harboured a suspicion that
Vergs may have been working, at least in part,
for the French Secret Services in his lost years,
though this, again, he denies.
Did you ever meet Franois Mitterrand?
No. Well... only in passing. He was hardly
a friend.
Certain democratically elected leaders, he
believes, should be arraigned before a tribunal.
The leaders of the Western powers appear
to me to be exhibiting a pattern of behav-
iour associated with that of tertiary syphilis:
namely a desire for grandeur accompanied by
mental paralysis. Because they are capable of
nothing, they want to do eve-
rything. They are capable of
destroying a government, but
quite unable to construct a new
order. Going back to Tony Blair,
he adds, in principle I believe
there is a good case to be made
against him as a war criminal
under international law, but the
realities of power make such
action impossible. Who judges?
Those with most power. In other
words, the victors.
Blair, in Vergs words, lied
from the start. We all know that
the stated motive for war was bogus. And then
there is the question of the public execution
of the captive. It showed no regard for human
dignity. Baudelaire wrote that, Every human
being damns himself when he gathers round
a scaffold. I will always be the one who places
himself between the lynch mob and the crim-
inal, or supposed criminal. There is no honour
in a gang attack on a defeated enemy, only
cowardice. Those words, the lawyer insists,
are as true in the age of CNN as they were in
the Middle Ages.
Its undeniable that Vergs credo (I cannot
bear the sight of a single man being humili-
ated) has led him to some laudable causes.
Omar Raddad, the Moroccan gardener, during
whose appeal we rst met, almost 20 years
ago, was charged with killing his employer,
Tea for tyrant:
Barbet Schroeders
Terrors Advocate
(2007)
demonstrates
Vergs (left)
friendship with
Nuon Chea, brother
number two to
PolPot, the Khmer
Rouge leader
206
JANUARY 2014 G
JACQUES VERGS
who appeared to have scrawled the words
Omar Killed Me in her own blood as she lay
dying in the basement of her villa. It turned
out to be the only convincing evidence against
him. Raddad had a plausible alibi; the police,
having read the message, adopted a Clouseau-
esque strategy which did not involve taking
any forensic evidence or ngerprints. Raddad,
an illiterate Moroccan, was sentenced to 18
years; he served seven before President Chirac
granted him a partial pardon releasing, but
not exonerating, him.
Hes free, the lawyer tells me. But he is a
broken man.
Vergs critics argue that, had Raddads
defence been restricted to a simple exam-
ination of the facts, he would have been
acquitted. But the lawyer employed his rupture
approach to legal defence challenging the
legitimacy of the court, and turning the trial
into a debate of the injustice that has most
exercised him throughout his career the
crimes and hypocrisies of Western colonial-
ism, of which he sees the United States as the
most shameless perpetrator.
Raddad, though, is something of an excep-
tion in Vergs long list of hijackers, vicious
dictators and political extremists. He swears
that he suffers no remorse concerning any
of the people he has defended. I remind him
that, some years ago, when we debated this,
he talked about a short novel entitled The
Portage To San Cristobal Of AH, published in
1981 by George Steiner, a copy of which I have
brought along with me.
In this novella, Vergs says, Steiner sup-
poses that Hitler didnt die in his bunker as is
generally supposed, but escaped, and survived
among the Amazonian Indians. Mossad kidnap
him, with a view to putting him on trial in
Israel. But their helicopter crash-lands, and
they decide to put him on trial right there, in
the jungle. They allow Hitler the last word.
Which goes as follows.
Vergs reads. You have made of me some
kind of mad devil, the quintessence of evil, hell
embodied. When I was, in truth, only a man
of my time. Average, if you will. Had it been
otherwise, how then could millions of ordinary
men and women have found in me the mirror
of their needs and appetites? It was, and I will
allow you that, an ugly time. But I did not
create its ugliness, and I was not the worst.
Far from it. How many wretched little men
of the forest did your Belgian friends murder
outright or leave to starvation when they
raped the Congo? Twenty million. What were
Rotterdam or Coventry compared to Dresden
or Hiroshima? Did I invent the camps? Ask the
Boers... Gentlemen of the tribunal: I took my
doctrines from you.
He closes the book. Professor Steiner was
capable of writing that defence of Hitler, he
says. Even though he was born into the Jewish
religion in France, and is a man who feels pro-
foundly Jewish, albeit not a nationalist.
S
ome years ago, I remind Vergs, I
told him that the ctional gure he
most brought to mind was Edward
G Robinsons character in the 1944
melodrama The Woman In The
Window. Robinson plays a man of fastidi-
ous renement, introduced as the picture of
respectability. We rst see him sending up
whorls of cigar smoke from his leather armchair
in a gentlemens club. Twenty minutes later,
hes dumping the body of a murdered man in
a copse. Vergs, I suggested, could never have
existed in England. To contort a famous quo-
tation from Oscar Wilde: Only France could
have produced him, and he always said that
the country was going to the dogs.
In France, he replied, they like a man
who stands alone against the establishment.
Like DArtagnan. Or Arsne Lupin gentle-
man burglar.
I can remember him telling me that evil
exists: It does. In every one of us. That is what
drives every novel ever written. And it is evil
that obsesses novelists, not good.
How does the evil in you express itself?
The evil in me, I think you could call virtual.
The difference between an honest person and a
criminal is that, in the case of the honest person,
the evil has not manifested itself in a physical
act. At the same time I read this in Nietzsche
which man can say he has never experienced
the desire to murder another man?
I imagine that, as a young man, your hope
for the future would have involved a peace-
ful and united front of North African nations.
What we are faced with is the exact opposite;
a situation which, in terms of world peace,
appears to be considerably more dangerous.
When you turn on the television, do you ever
think to yourself: I failed. The revolution failed.
All that effort, and none of it was worth it?
This last conversation, like the others, was in
French. When transcribing the lawyers answer
to the previous question, I found the response
so bizarre that I emailed that section of audio to
a French television producer, who has studied
the lawyer in depth.
All I can say, he told me, is that this sounds
like the ramblings of a man on his deathbed.
Vergs reply was this: One day a priest told
me: we have to liberate Christs tomb. I believed
it was a lie; then I discovered it was the Pope
and so I liberated Christs tomb. I have travelled
around many different countries. I have known
many women... and I came back carrying a
hollyhock. Now my kingdom lies in ruins and
people tell me that [what I did] was not so
wonderful. But, the philosophical discussions
I have had, the women I have loved, the blows I
have delivered with my sword; these are things
that nobody can take away from me.
The hollyhock (la rose trmire) was a very
popular ower with French Romantic poets
and consequently has various possible sym-
bolic meanings, including reincarnation. His
reference to the tomb of Christ looks like an
elliptical way of saying he felt his life has
been a crusade. But quite what he meant by
this peculiar declaration remains unclear and
Vergs, sadly, is no longer around to elaborate.
You are 88 now...
Eighty-nine, some say. Im not certain. Some
say I was born in April 1924, and that my
father didnt register the birth. I do know that
my father was married before he married my
mother; his rst wife died, I dont know when.
If I was born earlier, maybe I was conceived
during his rst marriage. That would make me
illegitimate, and an illegitimate child under
French law had no rights; so it is a possibility.
You spoke of people that you have to
protect. Are you tempted to unleash one last
secret, one last bomb when you die?
Maybe. Ive thought about it. But I wouldnt
prepare that kind of thing in advance; that
would be reckless. But yes, the chances are that
I would have time to get my pen out. Unless
Im hit by a car, or I have a heart attack. Death,
he adds, generally gives you some warning.
According to Vergs, Disraeli believed there
are two kinds of man in society: the gentleman
and the adventurer. The gentleman obeys the
club rules. The adventurer follows his heart.
I have belonged to the second category. And
in that way, you have no regrets.
What you say implies a lack of morality.
No. I have a moral sensibility. My instincts
are moral: sympathy for others; the need to
help others.
So your epitaph will be: I regret nothing?
No, Vergs replies. My epitaph will be:
Here lies a man who was happy. Here lies a
man, he adds, who was free.

The difference
between an honest
person and a
criminal is that,
in the case of the
honest person,
the evil has not
manifested itself
in a physical act
,
JACQUES
Robert Chalmers Doesnt Like... Justice
(Robert Chalmers, March 2013)
Claudine Longet: Aspens Femme Fatale
(Robert Chalmers, May 2013)
Greetings From Coney Island
(Robert Chalmers, November 2013)
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JANUARY 2014 G
Going for spoke:
The nest nutrition,
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Slash
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Edited by Paul Henderson
Do more. Be better.
Live longer. Get ahead.
MANAGEMENT OF BODY & SOUL
219
G JANUARY 2014
LIFE
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help cut your ride time by
nearly an hour a week...
Barclays
bikes by
numbers
1
3
5
7
2
4
6
8
Total journey saving: 10 min (5 min each way)
Plot your route
Websites such as cycle-route.com allow you to plot
trafc-calmed routes, but the most direct route
isnt always the fastest. Trafc lights and junctions
slow you down; cycle paths speed you up; left turns
are quicker than right turns.
Journey time you could save: 1 min 20 secs
And pump them up...
Under-inated tyres slow you down by as much
as20 seconds a mile. Check the recommended
pressure printed on the tyre, and invest in a track
pump that can tell you the PSI. You should pump
your tyres close to the maximum recommended.
Service your brakes, lube your chain
If your wheel rims are rubbing the brake pads this
will slow you down. Keep your drivetrain clean and
well lubricated. The less friction, the faster the ride.
Sound the alarm
Every emergency stop slows your commute. A bell
or whistle will warn pedestrians not to step out in
front of you. If you see a car nosing out of a side
junction, widen your arms and shoulders so they
dont pull out in front of you. Dominic Bliss
Journey time you could save: 1 min
Change your tyres
Slick tyres will make a mountain-bike ride 15 per
cent faster than knobbly tyres, saving you around
20 seconds a mile of-road. Tyre manufacturer
Schwalbe says forget thin racing tyres. Wider
tyres reduce rolling resistance and iron out bumps
in the road, saving you up to ten seconds a mile.
Clipless pedal systems
Locking your shoes to the pedals gives you as
much as ten per cent more power and acceleration
throughout each pedal stroke. If you nd them too
ddly, then wear hard-soled cycling shoes. Normal
trainers dissipate too much pedalling power.
Like Lycra
Tight-tting cycle clothing will make you much
more aerodynamic than baggy sportswear, saving
you as much as 10 seconds a mile.
Breakfast of champions
For your average commute you hardly need to
carb-load. Besides, in the morning, theres no time
to digest a heavy breakfast. Try dried fruit, a fresh
orange, light, digestible carbs such as cereal bars,
alarge glass of water and a quick espresso cafeine
hit to get you on your way.
It has been three years
since Boris launched a
two-wheeled transport
option in the capital.
So isLondon riding?*
24,554,038
Total cycle hires
9,040
Total average daily
number of cycle hires
bycasual users
Waterloo Station
Most popular
docking point
For more information,
visitt.gov.uk
13 mins
Average journey time
bymembers
18 mins
Average journey time
bycasual users
220
JANUARY 2014 G
LIFE
Training
weights and
measures
3-1-2-1
The tempo you should
lift weights (in seconds)
to best increase muscle
size. (Lower for 3 secs,
hold for 1, return to start
in 2, hold for 1... collapse)
4 Lateral raise
Stand upright with feet
hip-distance apart,
knees soft, arms by
your sides with the
elbows slightly bent.
Breathe out, and lead
with your elbows,
raising your arms to
thesides and slightly
forward to shoulder
height, with elbows
higher than hands.
Breathe in as you
slowly lower your arms
to the start position.
For more
information,visit
jonathangoodair.com
orhomehouse.co.uk
3 Upright row
Standing with feet
hip-distance apart,
knees soft, holding
handles in front of your
thighs. Breathe in to
prepare and, as you
breathe out, lead with
your elbows and pull
the handles up under
your chin, keeping your
collar bones wide and
hands close to your
body. Try to keep your
elbows higher than
your wrists at the top
of the movement.
2 Bent over
posterior
shoulder ys
Sit on the edge of
asturdy chair or
benchwith your feet
shoulder-distance
apart. With the tubing
secured under your
feet and crossed in
front of you, lean
forwards over your
thighs, supporting with
your abdominals. As
you breathe out, with
palms down, reach out
wide and high. Breathe
in as you slowly return
to the start position.
Balance is the key to any programme aimed
at developing good shoulders, or deltoids to
be more precise. The deltoids are made up
of three muscles the anterior, posterior
and medial deltoid muscles and should
balance each other out to provide optimal
looks and performance. Introducing some
exercises with rubber resistance means you
can work your shoulders anywhere, any
time and never miss a work-out.
For each exercise, aim for 3 sets of 15 reps, with 45 seconds rest
No4: The shoulders
PERSONAL TRAINER: JONATHAN GOODAIR
1 Bicep curl and
shoulder press
With feet hip-distance
apart and knees soft,
hold the handles with
your arms by your
sides. As you breathe
out, lengthen your
spine, pull in your
abdominals and curl
your hands into your
shoulders and then
up,until your arms
arestraight, but not
locked. Do this in
oneslow out-breath.
Breathe in as you then
reverse the movement
and return to the start.
GQs Personal Trainer
recommends Spri
Xertubes for these
exercises. Ranging
in elasticity from
X-Light to X-Heavy,
they are tted with
handles forbetter
comfortandcontrol.
From 10.50.
AtPhysical Company.
physicalcompany.co.uk
Squat, dont run, for
prolonged fat loss. For
every 1lb of muscle that
you gain in training,
thebody burns an extra
50calories a day.
50
calories 1
lb

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G JANUARY 2014
Intimate instruction from
GQs erotic adventuress
SEX LIFE
Take her higher:
Atouch of velvet
from the discreet
Japanese Tenga
vibrator will ensure
that she has a very
special holiday
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Sex Shrink
by Rebecca
Newman
This winter I take my beloved to Japan.
Partly for the powder, partly for the
post-ski hot springs. Something to make
them... hotter?
BL, by email
With a tip of the hat to your destination, let
me recommend something by the Japanese
brand Tenga. It has recently launched a range
of strikingly different vibrators: soft, vaguely
squashy, ergonomic vibes unlike anything
youve ever held before. The Iroha Midori
(By Lovehoney, 68.99. lovehoney.co.uk) is
shaped like a palm-sized igloo, and fashioned
from silicone with a velvety texture.
Designed by women for clitoral
stimulation, this little device is powerful.
It is very simple to use (two switches, four
settings: strong, very strong, extremely
strong and pulse). The motor is almost silent,
the casing waterproof. And, boy oh boy, its
effective. Reclining in your scalding hot
onsen admiring the mountains, have your
lover sit on top of you, sharing the same
panorama. All she need do is grind her hips
against you with the smallest motion, as you
hold the Midori in place against her clitoris
and trust the steam to obscure her look of
delight as she descends into ecstasy.
222
JANUARY 2014 G
LIFE
How to take a sexy sele by Anka Radakovich
Remind me, mistress, of the most
successful way for me to approach
theCATposition.
CR, by email
As every gifted lover knows, done well,
missionary is exquisite. But CAT (Coital
Alignment Technique) can be even better.
The CAT requires you to enter her as you
would for missionary, but then to move
several inches up her body for example,
instead of being chest to chest, your chest
would be over her shoulders. She wraps
her heels around your waist. The action is
less a thrust and more a back-and-forward
rocking motion, beautifully maintaining
pressure on her clitoris and her G-spot.
How to make the most of the position?
If she bends her knees, leaving the soles of
her feet on the ground, her pelvis will be
tilted such that there is more pressure on
her clitoris. Then again, you may wish to
have her keep her legs straight, but as you
rise and grind into her, she pushes up into
you (a similar effect can be more lazily
achieved with her hips lying over a pillow).
Finally, try straightening your arm to rest
on, and twist one side of your body up,
such that your shaft is stroking inside her,
off-centre; this is sensational if introduced
partway through the session, once shes
begun oating away just the thing to take
things to a higher level.
I like to give, but then I also like to
receive. Some seasonal lingerie to please
her and perhaps an idea of how to make
the most of it too, please.
CT, by email
Mais, bien sr. To sate those of you with a
taste for scarlet, I can recommend the elegant
lace Celeste lingerie set by Simone Perele
(bra, 71.95; knickers, 51.95), or the lovely
Aubade LInsoumise (bra, 79.95; knickers,
47.95. All at Rigby & Peller. rigbyandpeller.
co.uk). But, having spied one on the Marc
Jacobs catwalk, Id also draw your attention
to a more recherch choice: the silk slip
(think babydoll, and make it more slinky).
The Lorelei Leavers lace and silk slip (by
Dirty Pretty Things, 200. dirtyprettythings.
uk.com) is a sophisticated choice.
Set the scene. Champagne (2002 R&L
Legras Brut, 66.40. At Berry Bros & Rudd.
bbr.com). A parcel. Let her unwrap it on
one condition. She must immediately return
wearing nothing but the silk sheath and high,
high heels (this game is one in which she
wants to feel precarious). You admire her.
Watch her, letting her nipples harden under
your gaze. You cannot underestimate how
seductive it is to be really admired. Tantra is
full of it. Drink her in. Now, walk to her, your
body, your jaw, coming so close she can feel
the heat. But dont touch.
Walk behind her frankly, Id be tempted
to add a blindfold (25. At Coco de Mer.
coco-de-mer.com) and sweep up her hair.
Caress her neck with your breath, now,
nally kissing a line from behind her ears to
the muscles running across the ridge of her
shoulder. Trail your ngertips down the front
of her torso: collarbones, round the curve
of her breast. Twist her nipple, luxuriantly,
through the lm of fabric. Now run one
nger down to her sex. Stroke, so lightly,
her mons, still with your lips grazing the
skin behind her ears.
Gradually, press harder, the pressure of
your touch contrasting against the light silk.
Dip your ngers inside her. Do this, with
patience, to glorious effect. At last you may
roll or pleat the slip up, and make her bite
down on the material to gag her. Then have
her brace herself against a chair or wall (safe
signals in place) as you hold her hips and
take her standing, hard, to climax.
Now mobile-phone
self-portraits have
taken over as the new
way to communicate
its time for some
unnecessary advice:
its a good time to rock
your sele. Taking a
great one keeps you
from embarrassing
yourself like Geraldo
Rivera, the American
talk-show host who
drunk-posted a nearly
naked sele that made
front-page news, as
millions around the
world pointed and
laughed. No, seriously.
After seeing
hundreds of peoples
seles this past year,
my most important
piece of advice is: stay
out of the bathroom.
Nothing ruins a sharp
Tom Ford suit more
than seeing a toilet
inthe background.
Yetbecause of the
bathrooms privacy
and convenience, it
remains the all-time
number-one location
for sele expression,
especially for men on
dating sites. Whenever
women see mens
bathroom seles, it
makes us wonder:
1)Doesnt this guy
have any friends?
2)Are those knickers
hanging up in the
background his wifes,
his atmates... or his?
The second most
vital thing to keep in
mind when doing your
sele is: dont take pics
of your junk. You
might be sending your
dick pic to someone
who is eating lunch or
in a meeting. Besides,
how do we know its
even yours? Women
would much rather see
a man all dressed up in
a sexy suit. A shot of
you of to a wedding
looking romantic
always does it for us.
Afunny dick pic is OK,
however, if you dont
show your meat. One
guy I was interested in
sent me a full-body
side-prole shot of
himself wearing a suit,
apparently on his way
to a fancy party or
something, while
pitching a tent in his
trousers. I thought it
was romantic, as if he
were thinking of me.
Of course, everything
is relative, and seles
are no exception; if
you send a boner sele
to your wife or to your
girlfriend, it is sexy.
Ifyou send it to a girl
youve never met
before, she will think
itis creepy.
When it comes to
not being creepy,
remember that
lighting is everything.
You could take the
same photo with
diferent lighting and
look like a movie star
inone and someone
on a swingers dating
site in the other. Hold
your phone or tablet
so that the light is
streaming into your
face rather than from
asource behind your
head, and go for end
of the day, when there
is a more natural light
just before the sun
sets. Then aim for
yourbestfacial angle.
Photographer,
model and television
judge Nigel Barker
recommends that
youstretch your neck
back, then come
around to face the
camera and take the
picture. You have
about ve seconds to
get the shot, he says,
before your turkey
neck returns.
Youre welcome.
Sele tips
1 Give yourself virtual
plastic surgery with
aretouching app
Because practically
everyone needs to
get some work done,
photo-editing apps
such as Facetune,
moreBeaute2 and
Picfx allow you to get
virtual plastic surgery
at home. Facetune,
forexample, lifts your
face, whitens your
teeth, smooths out
your complexion,
removes pimples,
wrinkles, bags under
your eyes and that
giant goitre you cant
seem to shake.
2 Get a timer app
Apps such as Camera+
let you put a timer on
your device, so that
you have time to get a
decent shot of yourself
instead of taking one
when youre not ready.
It also has a photo
ashlight, which uses
your iPhones ash as
a source of ll light,
such as a professional
photographer would
use, and touch
exposure, so you can
control how light or
dark your photos
appear. Camera+ also
lets you crop photos
so that you can
remove your ex or
anything else you
forgot was in the
background (guns,
pregnancy testers, sex
dolls, clown porn, etc).
3 Buy a mini tripod for
your phone or tablet
Small tripods, some
sosmall you can take
anywhere, give you
more options and a
professional efect,
such as the Joby
GorillaPod (from 19.
joby.com). Using a
tripod takes all the
pressure of: no more
struggling to get a
good angle of yourself
and accidentally
shooting your nostril
hair. Use it with the
digital zoom feature
on the Camera+ app,
which the creators say
lets you get up close
and simply blows
away the rest of the
competition. Just
walk right up to the
camera and it will
make your penis look
instantly bigger.
4 Grow up
223
GQ GOLF DAY
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This year, Brocket Hall, Hertfordshire, hosted
the unofcial fth major (the rst minor
just sounds... wrong). Or, as its better known
on the sports calendar, the annual GQ Golf
Day. Now in its third year, this invitation-
only event sees golfs celebrity glitterati
descend on one of the countrys top courses
and try not to look like a bunch of divots.
After a damp, early start made bearable by
strong coffee and bacon rolls, the business
began in earnest with Dougray Scott hitting
a couple of eagles, John Regis smashing the
longest drive of the day and the rest of us
just trying to keep up.
In an attempt to hit the ball as far as
Britains medal-winning Olympian, sponsors
TaylorMade were on hand to give a master
class on hitting off the tee using their new
SLDR driver. And for those that couldnt
(ie, everybody), drink sponsor Beringer had
just the wines to drown everyones sorrows
over lunch. A great day all round. PH
Thanks to TaylorMade, Beringer and hosts
Brocket Hall. 01707 368733, brocket-hall.co.uk
Number
ofyards
onthepar-
72Donald
Steel-designed
Palmerston
golf course at
Brocket Hall,
Hertfordshire.
Named after
the 19th-
century
Britishprime
minister,
thecourse
winds its
waythrough
woodlands.
7
,
0
8
0
In full swing
142
The number of calories
the average man burns
playing a round of golf
and carrying his
own clubs.
Top hole:
BrocketHalls
championship golf
course, home to
theGQGolf Day
Master class (from
left): Jessica Florey,
James Day, Dougray
Scott, Mark Bright,
John Regis, Georgie
Bingham, Stephen
Miron, Simon Kelner,
Paul Henderson and
Stephanie Sleap
IN ASSOCIATION WITH
Best-Dressed Men
2014
IN NEXT MONTH S ISSUE
ON SALE 2 JANUARY
The list every man wants to be on
The definitive rundown of Britains style heroes
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JANUARY 2014 G
LIFE
Take the bull
by the horns
BALANCE
How do you start
your day?
What is your
breakfast of
champions?
Do you prefer to
exercise inthe
morning or
atnight?
What is the most
important decision
youve made in your
professional life?
What is the best
piece of advice
youve been given?
Are your best
decisions based
on instinct or
information?
How do you get
thebest from
yourteam?
What separates
winners from losers?
When do you do
your best work?
What is the secret
ofyour success?
I get up at about
7am, have a quick
shower, then Im
of to work.
A bowl of Weetabix is
up there, but sometimes
I alternate with Frosties!
Usually the morning.
Sometimes I get up a bit
earlier and go for a run
in the countryside. In the
winter Ill go to the gym.
I havent made it yet...
Ive always trusted
my instinct. I think
information helps
justify a decision, but
sometimes you have to
go with your gut.
It would have to be from Bernie
Ecclestone just before the nal
race in Brazil last yearwhen
Sebastian [Vettel, below with
Mark Webber] won his third
consecutive World Drivers
Championship. It was: Dont
f***it up! Luckily, we didnt!
I think its
a matter of
empowering
people to
do their
jobs, giving
them clear
goals and
objectives and
supporting
them.
I think that to
achieve in any
sport you have
got to have
desire, passion,
commitment,
and be prepared
to push the
boundaries.
When Im under pressure.
Working with
great people.
Red Bull Racings
footwear is supplied
by Geox. uk.geox.com
Get someone
elses life
The winning
formula of...
Christian Horner
Red Bull Racing F1
Team Principal
An annual visit to
your GP and an
occasional salad
wont keep you
ghting t in
middle age.
Thats why, rather
than leaving their
wellbeing to
chance, some
men are enlisting
the help of health
management
companies. Dr
Sabine Donnai,
CEO of Viavi,
explains the
lifestyle changes
you need to make
for tomorrow,
starting today...
Think outside
the box, not
infront of it
Stress itself isnt
an issue, its a lack
of recovery that
causes problems.
Relaxation these
days means sitting
in front of a TV.
Thats too mentally
stimulating, says
Dr Donnai. Instead,
she recommends
meditation and
yoga, which
balances brain
activity and
stimulates the
parasympathetic
nervous system,
calming you down.
Training quality
beats quantity
Fifteen minutes
of high-intensity
interval training
does a lot more
than an hour on the
treadmill, says Dr
Donnai. Opt for 20
seconds of heavy
weight reps,
followed by a
minute of rest.
Just 15 minutes
twice a week will
shed fat and boost
muscle growth.
Bespoke your diet
Dont follow
generic nutrition
advice. Instead, get
your DNA tested to
work out precisely
what you need to
eat. Do your genes
show youre at risk
of heart disease?
Then you know
tocut down on
processed foods.
You need to know
whats relevant,
says Dr Donnai.
You wont be able
to do everything.
Flex your
mental muscle
Something
assimple as a
collision of heads
playing football
can impair
cognitive function
or emotional
stability. A brain
map can analyse
brainwaves and x
imbalances, says
Dr Donnai: By
calming certain
brainwaves or
increasing others,
you become who
you were meant to
be. It wont make
you brighter,
butitxes what
went wrong.
TomBanham
14 Devonshire
Street, London W1.
020-7034 8134,
viavi.com
You are never too young or too old to
consult a health concierge. Viavis clients
ages break down like this...
The health concierge
227
G JANUARY 2014
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The task: Making
aproposal to
theboard
The meal: Tuna with
baby-leaf spinach.
Time to dine: Eat
two hours before
the meeting.
The skinny: Think of
itas condence in
acan, because men
with high levels of
serotonin, created by
eating tryptophan-rich
foods such as tuna
and poultry make
faster decisions and
are also happier. Youll
condently eldany
question and seem
more upbeat about
doing it.
From brain-training fruit
and energising nuts to
stress-busting brews, these
six suggestions for meals,
snacks and drinks will make
any challenging work day
much easier to swallow
GQs smart guide to
getting ahead in business
OFFICE POLITRICKS: #2 EAT YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS
The task: Facing
ajob interview
The snack: Carrots
dipped in hummus,
and a litre of water.
Time to dine: Eat 45
to 60 minutes before
the interview.
The skinny: Youll
wantto come of as
calm and relaxed, and
this will do the trick.
Substituting stimulants
such as sugar, cofee
and chocolate for
water and eating
freshly cut vegetables
and fruit will help you
feel calmer. Just make
sure its garlic-free
hummus, or your
interviewer may not
feel quite as relaxed.
The task: Giving
a presentation
The meal: Steak,
spinach and sweet
potatoes.
Time to dine: Eat
thenight before.
The skinny: Delivering
a presentation with
ahead held high
insteadof buried in
your notes demands
asolid memory. The
meal above is rich in
iron. Iron deciency
impairs your brains
ability to memorise
and function properly.
Eat it the night before
to make extra sure
youabsorb the iron
intime. And yes, it
really does work.
The task: Hosting
aninterminable
meeting
The snack:
Whole-grain pasta with
a side of watermelon.
Time to dine: Eat 30
minutes beforehand.
The skinny: The
carbohydrate-rich
pasta acts as a
power plant for
your thoughts, while
the melon is full of
citrulline, which
helps reduce blood
pressure. A lower
blood pressure
improves your
cognitive abilities
so you can hold court
and concentrate for
the entire time.
The task:
Working late
The snack: Walnuts
and dried blueberries.
Time to dine: Eat
small handfuls while
you work.
The skinny: Late
nights at the
grindstone often
comeunexpectedly,
so its best to keep an
emergency food stash
in your desk draw.
Walnuts and dried
blueberries are ideal
because theyre rich
in energy-yielding
calories plus they
improve cognition
and brain function.
The task: Hitting
atough deadline
The drink: Green tea.
Time to imbibe: Drink
throughout the day
while youre working.
The skinny: Youll
need a clear and calm
head to nish of that
phone-book-sized
stack of paperwork.
Five cups of green
tea are the answer
because they will lower
psychological stress
by upwards of 20 per
cent. This will de-stress
you enough to hit that
deadline with time to
spare. Ray Klerck
Fitness trends explained Warrior Workout
THIS MONTH...
Get the lowdown on the
newest no-nonsense
muscle-building concept
What is it? A male-only
12-week training programme
for desk-bound men
wanting to drop more than
a stone in fat and build the
same in muscle, using less
conventional equipment.
Whats new? Nothing. In
fact, its all old-school.
Warrior Workout head
trainer Tim Walker will have
you throwing sandbags and
dragging 150kg tractor tyres.
Why try it? Build muscle, burn
fat, and improve every aspect
of your health, including
your diet. Nutritional advice
is given and a photographic
diary will track your progress.
What will it do? Transform
you into a bona de
mesomorph. Or, as Walker
puts it, make you look like
Wolverine. Lee Stobbs
Sessions are available
from 7am to 8pm, Monday
to Saturday. 16 Hewitt Street,
London EC2. 0771 650 1707,
eomtness.com
1 2 3 4 5 6
Six hours
Time your body takes
to process half a cup of
cofee. Skip cafeine after
4pm to optimise sleep.
228
new
website
Searching for
chalet chic?
Chalet Cragganmore, France
condenastjohansens.com
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GQ INTEL
No7: Craft distillers putting vodka back on the map
Taking the measurements of the GQ world
VITAL STATISTICS
SIPSMITH DAMSON
Distilled in: Hammersmith, London, UK
23, sipsmith.com
FOUNDERS: Sam Galsworthy and Fairfax Hall
MADE IN: Prudence, Londons rst copper-pot
still for 200 years
LAST TIME A DISTILLERS LICENCE WAS
REQUESTED IN LONDON: 193 years ago
THAT CREATED: Problems
HOW COME? No London authority had any
of the formal documentation in existence
FINALLY LAUNCHED IN: 2010
DAMSON-INFUSION TAKES: Four months
ALCOHOL CONTENT: 28% ABV
TYPICAL VODKA ALCOHOL CONTENT: 40% ABV
AVERAGE NUMBER OF BOTTLES PER BATCH: 350
TEAM WITH: Dark chocolate; drink after dinner
BUY IT FROM: Majestic, Waitrose
HDW CLIX
Distilled in: Kentucky, US
315, hdwclix.com
WHY CLIX? It means 159 in Roman numerals
WHY 159? Its the number of times the vodka
is distilled
THEN ITS RESTED FOR: One year
LAUNCHED IN THE UK: February 2013
BOTTLES AVAILABLE IN THE UK EACH YEAR: 30
MADE AT: The Buffalo Trace whisky distillery
PACKAGED IN: An individually numbered
glass decanter with crystal stopper
WHICH IS: Unbranded, to allow lifetime use
BUY IT: Online, exclusively in the UK from
thewhiskyexchange.com
CHASE
Distilled in: Herefordshire, UK
35, chasedistillery.co.uk
LAUNCHED: 2008
FOUNDER: William Chase of Tyrrells crisps
CRISPS AND VODKA? Some potatoes are too
small for making crisps
DISTILLED: 130 times
HEIGHT OF THE DISTILLERY COLUMN: 70ft
MAKING IT: The tallest of its kind in the world
CELEBRITY DEVOTEES: Sir Sean Connery and
Yotam Ottolenghi
DRINK IT IN LONDON AT: The Dukes Hotel bar,
Ian Flemings former home-from-home
BUY IT FROM: Fortnum & Mason, Waitrose
BLACK COW
Distilled in: West Dorset, UK
29, blackcow.co.uk
LAUNCHED: 2012
HEAD DISTILLER: Dairy farmer Jason Barber
ITS MADE FROM: 100 per cent cows milk
INSPIRED BY: A documentary about a Siberian
tribe making vodka with yaks milk
BOTTLES PER BATCH: 300
GRASS-FED COWS IN THE HERD: 250
TASTING NOTES: Creamy on the nose
CELEBRITY DEVOTEES: Daniel Craig, Stephen
Fry and Elizabeth Hurley
BUY IT FROM: Selfridges, Fortnum & Mason
Emily Wright
MAMONT
Distilled in: Siberia, Russia
30, mamontvodka.com
MADE WITH: Pure water hauled up from
Siberian wells
PLUS: White winter wheat and cedar nuts
PRODUCED IN: The Itkul distillery, founded
in 1868 in the Republic of Altai, Russia
NUMBER OF BOTTLES PER BATCH: 4,000
DISTILLED: Six times
HOW MANY CASES IN THE WORLD: 6,000
DESIGN: Tusk-shaped
WHY? It references the mammoths that once
roamed the Siberian countryside
HOW THE LOCALS DRINK IT: Straight, with a
mouthful of meat or animal fat in-between
each shot
BUY IT FROM: Selfridges, sohowine.co.uk
VESTAL
Distilled in: Kaszubia, Poland
24, vestalvodka.com
LAUNCHED: 2010
NUMBER OF BOTTLES PER BATCH: 5,000
MADE FROM: Virgin potatoes like Jersey
Royals but with a more intense avour
HOW OFTEN: Once a year, over a ten-day
period in July and August
WHY? To produce the spirit at the moment
when the potatoes are at their freshest
DISTILLER WILLIAM BORRELL SAYS: This
vodka should be drunk in an armchair, with
a cigar. And always at room temperature
NOT CHILLED? Thats a myth. Before ice was
available, vodka was drunk tepid at harvest
time. Room temperature is truly authentic
BUY IT: Online only, at vestalvodka.com
REYKA
Distilled in: Borgarnes, Iceland
26, reyka.com
PURIFIED THROUGH: Lava rock
WITH: Water from the nearby Grabk Spring
AMOUNT OF NON-RENEWABLE ELECTRICITY
USED BY THE DISTILLERY: Zero kWh
SO HOWS IT POWERED? Geothermal energy
LAUNCHED: 2006
ARRIVED IN THE UK: 2012
MASTER DISTILLER THORDOR SIGURDSSONS
SECOND JOB: Head of the Borgarnes police
BOTTLES PER BATCH: 800
HOW THE LOCALS DRINK IT: In straight shots
alongside pieces of rotting shark meat
HOW LONDONERS DRINK IT: In straight shots.
Without the rotting shark meat
BUY IT FROM: Harrods, Selfridges, Waitrose
BABICKA
Distilled in: Prostjov, Czech Republic
40, babickavodka.com
LAUNCHED: 2010
FOUNDER: Alex Clarke
WHOSE FAMILY: Hosted the rst Isle of Wight
festival on his farm in 1970
BEFORE ALEX WAS: Expelled from school
for getting the headmasters daughter drunk
yes, on vodka
NUMBER OF DISTILLATIONS: Six, with corn,
wormwood, coriander, fennel and star anise
THEN ITS RESTED FOR: Two months
HOW OLD IS THE DISTILLERY? 500 years
THE NAME: Babicka is an old Czech word that
means grandmother
DRINK IT AT: Nightjar and China Tang
BUY IT FROM: Harvey Nichols

GQ British - January 2014

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