Bloke Night by hgfan1111 Storylink: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4045283/1/ Content: Chapte 1 to 1 of 1 chapte s Source: !an!iction.

net Summary: "on an# the othe $easley b othe s a e ti e# of %a y &issing 'Bloke Night( so they()e #eci#e# to #o so&ething abo*t it. $ itten +ost,%B+.

*Chapter 1*: Bloke Night

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the characters in his world are owned by J.K. Rowling. No copywrite infringement is intended. No money is being made from this bit of fanfiction. A/N: han!s so m"sh to #nre$"itedDream for the enco"ragement and late night emails that !eep me going. %o"&'e been a great friend. his story was written prior to Deathly Hallows. Bloke Night "on $easley steppe# into the oo& an# ha# to g in at the sight of th ee of his b othe s sp awle# on )a io*s s* faces. Cha lie was seate# on the floo - "on.s chess set sp ea# in f ont of hi& as he playe# solita y. /eo ge was sitting- *psi#e #own- in "on.s fa)o ite chai - his legs #angling o)e the back an# stea& co&ing o*t his ea s fo so&e eason. ! e# was in the kitchen of the &o#e ately s&all flat- two flagons in his han#s as he po* e# a s*spicio*sly #a k bl*e li0*i# back an# fo th- ca*sing the& to foa& an# si11le slightly. 2he s&all p opelle on his &*lti,colo e# hat sp*n e)e y now an# again. None of this &a#e "on twitch an eyeb ow. Not &*ch abo*t his fa&ily co*l# these #ays. %e fig* e# he ha# seen &ost e)e ything the e was to see in his twenty th ee yea s. 3$he e.s Bill43 he g *nte# o*t as he opene# the s&all c*pboa # abo)e the 5*ggle ef ige ato an# e&o)e# a gol#en bottle of !i ewhiskey. 36ate-3 Cha lie calle# o*t *n,helpf*lly. 2he twins we e #isc*ssing thei newest # ink in)ention heate#ly an# "on 7*st s&i ke# at the&. 8t was .Bloke Night. fo the $easleys- as they calle# it. 2he wo&en of the fa&ily &et eg*la ly to gossip an# the boys took the oppo t*nity to spen# 0*ality ti&e togethe as well. 9*ality ti&e was #efine# by how &*ch li0*o was in)ol)e# an# the n*&be of sobe ing cha &s p o)i#e# at the en# of the e)ening. :o&ewhe e along the yea s they ha# lea ne# to play 5*ggle poke as well an# a ga&e *s*ally &ate iali1e#. 3%e e- "on- t y this.3 ! e# sho)e# a shot glass of his concoction into his yo*ngest b othe .s han#. %e watche# in al&ost gi##y anticipation as "on eye# the # ink an# sniffe# it )ag*ely befo e tossing it back.

/eo ge ocke# the chai fo wa # an# pitche# his legs o)e his hea# to stan# *p ight again. 3$ell43 he aske#. "on was bent fo wa #- his han#s on his knees as he cl*tche# at the b* ning in his th oat. ;ets of stea& we e po* ing o*t his ea s an# nose. ! e# clappe# hi& happily on the back an# g inne# at his twin. 36ooks like we finally got the &i<t* e ight.3 Cha lie stoo# an# la*ghe# at "on who was whee1ing an# co*ghing- altho*gh the stea& ha# finally stoppe#. 3=o* ne)e lea n- "onnikins.3 %e ef*se# the siniste bl*e li0*i#instea# po* ing hi&self an a&ple shot of gol#en !i ewhiskey. 3>nyone hea # f o& /inny lately43 ! e# 0*estione# as he began setting o*t glasses. 35*& sai# he last lette was a few weeks ago. !inals o whate)e -3 /eo ge sai# with a sh *g. 38 swea %e &ione *bbe# off on that gi l-3 Cha lie co&plaine#. 3> 5*ggle ?ni)e sity43 3:he see&s happy-3 "on conce#e#. 3$e.ll see in a few weeks- 8 g*ess- when she co&es ho&e fo the s*&&e .3 > popping so*n# signale# the a i)al of the last $easley. Bill- looking slightly o*gh in w inkle# obes an# #ishe)ele# hai - 0*ickly eache# fo a p e,po* e# shot of # ink. 3:o y 8.& late-3 he b eathe# o*t afte the sea ing li0*i# ha# g ace# his &o*th. 3!le* aske# &e to p*t the gi ls #own befo e 8 left. 2h ee be#ti&e sto ies- two t ips to the loo an# fo* # inks of wate late an# the little begga s a e finally #own.3 "on s&i ke# an# la*ghe# along with his othe b othe s at the sto y. @)e yone knew that Bill.s two pa t,Aeela #a*ghte s ha# hi& w appe# a o*n# thei finge s. 32hat.s al ight- Bill. $e we e 7*st getting sta te#.3 ! e# po* e# anothe shot of this stea&ing # ink an# place# it *n#e Bill.s sc *nche# nose. 3@ &- 8 think not-3 he eplie#- p*shing it back towa # ! e# who g*lpe# it with only &ini&al stea& escaping. 36ast ti&e 8 t ie# one of yo* # inks it took th ee sobe ing cha &s to allow &e to walk again. 8.ll not be epeating that e<pe ience.3 3$ell- let.s get on with it then. %e &ione sai# she &ight be co&ing ho&e ea ly anyway.3 "on sat hi&self at the o*n# #ining table an# p*lle# o*t a bo< that hel# e#- white an# bl*e colo e# poke chips an# playing ca #s. 8t was "on.s t* n to host .Bloke Night.- th*s his an# %e &ione.s 6on#on flat ha# been in)a#e#.

2he fo* othe s 0*ickly fo*n# thei seats a&i#st 9*i##itch talk an# the like. 3$he e.s +otte tonight43 Cha lie aske#- eali1ing that the si<th chai at the table was e&pty. "on sh *gge#. 3%e &ight co&e- o not. %e was s*ppose# to back f o& that >* o confe ence he.s been at so&eti&e to#ay- 8 think. 8 sent a e&in#e with +ig ea ly to#ayb*t he ne)e eplie#. 32hat.s the last two of these he.s &isse#-3 ! e# fille# the& all in as "on #ealt the ca #s. 32oo ight-3 /eo ge ag ee#- 3last ti&e he clai&e# he was too ti e#. Beco&ing a ight ol# &an he is.3 "on sno te#. 3> few weeks ago- 8 poppe# in to chat an# the bloke was passe# o*t on the sofa.3 3$hat.s w ong with that43 Bill aske#. 38t was eight o.clock in the e)ening-3 "on #ecla e# with so&ething ese&bling abho ence. 35ost @ligible Bachelo in B itain an# he.s sleeping away a :at* #ay night. %asn.t ha# a #ate in &onths- that 8 know of- anyway. Boesn.t go o*t anywhe e. %e 7*st sits at ho&e in that flat of his an# ea#s o watches the telly.3 3$e nee# to #o so&ething abo*t that-3 ! e# p oclai&e#. "on sh *gge#. 3%e won.t go on any #ate we fi< hi& *p on. %e &ione b o*ght ho&e this eal nice witch f o& the 5inist y the othe night fo #inne . 8.)e ne)e seen %a y eat so fast in &y life. %e was #one in fifteen &in*tes an# left anothe fi)e afte that. 8f 8 #i#n.t know bette - 8.# say he ha# plans that nightC fi#gety he was- all th o*gh #inne .3 Cha lie snee e#. 35aybe he #oesn.t like bi #s. @)e tho*ght of that- "on. 5aybe he.s &o e into blokes.3 3@* gh- Cha lieD3 !o* wails so*n#e# as the B agon Eeepe g inne#. 3No- he likes witches-3 "on confi &e#. 38 #on.t think that.s it-3 /eo ge spec*late# as he tosse# his *seless ca #s on the tableC the ga&e ha# all b*t been aban#one# fo a #isc*ssion of the lo)e life of thei f ien#. 38 think %a y.s 7*st looking fo the ight one- if yo* know what 8 &ean. %e.s not in to the whole #ating scene an# one night stan#s an# all beca*se he.s looking fo .the one..3 32hat so*n#s like hi&-3 Bill confi &e# with a no#- # aining his glass.

3=eah- &aybe yo*. e ight-3 "on no##e#. 3B*t then again- he wo ks so blaste# &*ch that he.ll ne)e fin# the ight one.3 3$e sho*l# sto & his flat an# # ag hi& o*t tonight-3 ! e# #e&an#e#- po*n#ing his fist on the table an# &aking the # inks- ca #s an# chips bo*nce. 3$o*l# se )e hi& ight-3 /eo ge ag ee#. 2he oo& went silent as fi)e g ins sp ea# a o*n# the table. 3"ight. Bill-3 "on t* ne# to his ol#est b othe - 3%a y.s wa #s a e no la*ghing &atte . 8.)e got a key to the flat- b*t 8.)e ne)e been the e *nin)ite# befo e. ! o& what 8 gathe - that.s not so&ething yo* want to #o.3 2he fo &e c* se b eake no##e#- a confi#ent s&i k on his face. 38.ll get yo* in- b*t #o we e)en know if he.s ho&e yet43 "on stoo# ab *ptly an# walke# to the fi eplace- tossing a bit of floo pow#e in. 36*pin %all-3 he calle# o*t. > pleasant- hea t shape# face sta e# back at hi&. 3$otche - "on.3 3%ey- 2onks. 8 was 7*st won#e ing if yo*.)e hea # f o& %a y lately. %e.s s*ppose# to be getting back f o& that confe ence to#ay an# he.s &isse# .Bloke Night.. 3Confe ence43 2onks sta e# at the glowing hea# in he fi eplace. 3$hat confe ence4 %a y.s been on holi#ay lea)e fo two weeks. %e.s #*e to epo t back on 5on#ay.3 3%oli#ay4 $o*l# he ha)e *se# his lea)e to atten# an >* o confe ence43 2onks g inne#. 3No. 2hey gi)e *s special ti&e off fo that. Besi#es- %a y.s *p fo the @* opean :*&&it &eeting in a few weeks. %e.# not be sche#*le# fo two so close togethe . 6ooks like so&eone p*lle# the wool o)e yo* eyes.3 3"*##y basta #D3 "on swo e as he eali1e# his best f ien# ha# lie# to hi&. 35aybe he 7*st wante# to get away fo a bit- yo* know.3 2onks g inne# e)en wi#e . 3"ight-3 "on #ecla e#. 3$e.ll 7*st go o)e the e an# st aighten this o*t then.3 35in# the wa #s-3 2onks e&in#e#. 3%e.s got so&e nasty ones.3 3Chee s- 2onks. :ay hello to 5oony fo *s.3 3"ighto- "on. 2alk to yo* late .3

"on e<t acte# hi&self f o& the fi eplace an# t* ne# to gla e at his b othe s. 32he *##y basta # wasn.t at a confe ence. %e.s been on holi#ay fo two weeks.3 32hat settles it- then-3 Cha lie no##e#. 3%e.ll not lie to his b othe s-3 ! e# c acke# his kn*ckles &enacingly. 3/entle&en- let.s go-3 Bill confi &e#. 38 ha)e to say-3 Bill &*&ble# as his wan# contin*e# to &o)e in int icate patte ns o)e the plain steel #oo in f ont of the g o*p of half,ineb iate# e# hea#s- 3%a y.s a ight a tist with the wa #s. 8.)e ne)e seen so&e of these.3 3$ill he know when we.)e b oken th o*gh43 "on aske#- fea f*lly won#e ing what wo*l# happen to the& if Bill co*l#n.t get the& in safe. 35aybe-3 Bill conce#e#. 32hat.s ass*&ing he.s ho&e an# won.t blow *s th o*gh the wall when we finally get in the e.3 > few &in*tes late - Bill &o)e# asi#e an# &otione# fo "on to *se the s&all &etal key that lay in his pal&. $ith a #eep b eath- "on slippe# it into the lock an# twiste#. >ll fi)e of the &en c inge# an# waite# on tense legs. Nothing happene#. No si ens- no bells. 32ol# yo* 8.# get yo* in-3 Bill sai# confi#ently. 2aking a ca*tio*s step into the flat- he waite#. $hen nothing f* the happene#- he wai)e# the othe s in. 2he #oo close# 0*ietly behin# the& an# a lo*# pop an# p*ff of s&oke shot *p in the ai . 2he fi)e e# hea#s f o1e an# waite# fo it to clea . @ach $easley was now spo ting neon bl*e hai - #own to his eyeb ows an# eyelashes. 3Bli&ey-3 "on &*tte e#. 32i&e #elaye#43 he aske# his el#est b othe . Bill no##e#. 3$e. e l*cky it.s not wo se. @)e yone still ha)e all thei bits43 Ne )o*sly- they all checke# appen#ages- an# fin#ing all well- b eathe# a collecti)e sigh of elief. 3"ight- let.s see if the little b*gge is ho&e-3 Cha lie g owle# softly. 38f he.s asleep- we.ll st*n hi&- st ip hi& an# lea)e hi& in the &i##le of Biagon >lley.3 %*she# ch*ckles co*l# be hea # as the fi)e began to sea ch the flat fo signs of life. > pile of *nopene# &ail sat on the b* ea* in the ent y hall. %e#wig.s pe ch- which sat 7*st insi#e the #oo - nea a win#ow- was e&pty.

3%e.s back-3 ! e# confi &e#- pointing to a well *se# t *nk that ha# been #isca #e# in the cente of the li)ing oo&. Fpening the t *nk- ! e# whistle# low an#- *sing his wan#p*lle# *p a b ight e# piece of cloth with lots of st ings. 3%a y &ight ha)e a few &o e sec ets than we think-3 he s&i ke#. 2he bikini top h*ng p eca io*sly on the tip of the woo# an# the boys. eyes g ew h*ge. /eo ge 7oine# his b othe an# lifte# o*t a long silky c ea& colo e# nightgown- co&plete with lacy top an# spaghetti st aps. 35e lin-3 "on b eathe#. 3%e.s...thats...3 3Not his-3 Bill finishe#. 3>t least 8 hope not.3 3@ &- boys-3 Cha lie inte *pte# f o& the kitchen. 3%e &ay ha)e co&pany. 2he e a e two tea c*ps in the sink- two plates- two e&pty wine goblets- a sala# in the f i#ge an# lefto)e 8talian foo# as well.3 >ll fi)e hea#s t* ne# in the #i ection of the hallway that le# to the bath oo& an# two be# oo&s ho*se# in the flat. 3=o* #on.t think...3 "on let his wo #s #ie o*t- his bl*e eyeb ows knit togethe in a &i<e# look of #isg*st an# en)y. 3$e think-3 both ! e# an# /eo ge sai# at the sa&e ti&e. ! e# #*g in his pockets- p*lling o*t a long bit of flesh colo e# st ing. 3! e#D /eo geD3 "on hisse#. 3Bon.t yo* #a eD 2hat.s %a y in the e...with who,knows, whoD3 38n0*i ing &in#s want to know-3 ! e# no##e#. 32ell &e yo*. e not the least bit c* io*s- "on.3 /eo ge s&ile# knowingly at the talle &an. 3$ell-3 a )e y conflicte# "on answe e#. 3B*t what if they. e...3 3:hagging43 ! e# s&i ke#. 38 ce tainly hope they. e not in the e playing chess. Fthe wise,3 3,we ha)e &*ch to teach hi&-3 /eo ge finishe#. !i)e sets of eyes watche# as the bit of st ing wiggle# *n#e the #oo of %a y.s be# oo&. 38t.s been &o#ifie# to a&plify the so*n# to all of *s-3 /eo ge e<plaine# as he hel# *p the listening bit to the eage listene s. 2hei eyes went wi#e as the silencing ba ie was

c osse#. Nothing was hea # b*t a slight h*&&ing so*n# in the backg o*n#. ! e#.s face t* ne# *p to "on. 38s the e anothe loo43 3@ - yeah. 2he e.s one off of %a y.s oo&.3 %e shifte# g*iltily- thinking of the p i)acy he was in)a#ing,al&ost p aying that %a y.s co&pany ha# left fo the night. 3:howe -3 both twins sai# o*t lo*#. > &*ffle# &*&bling that was g owing lo*#e &a#e the& all stiffen again. 2he click of a #oo opening. %a y.s )oice was now picking *p on the @<ten#able @a . 3...no- take yo* ti&e- lo)e...3 > highe pitche# )oice answe e# b*t they co*l#n.t &ake it o*t o)e the *sh of wate . Close *stling so*n#s as- they ass*&e#- %a y p*lle# on clothing an# &o)e# a o*n# the oo&. %is steps- s*##enly co&ing close to whe e the spies we e hi#ing o*t- ca*se# the fi)e &en to sc a&ble o)e each othe o*t of the na ow hallway- aban#oning the @<ten#able @a co&pletely. 2hey we e 7*st settle# g*iltily on the two sofas in the li)ing oo& when %a y.s #oo sw*ng open an# %a y e<ite#- p*shing his finge s th o*gh his wet- black hai . %e was wea ing cotton # awst ing pa7a&a pants an# a hastily th own on t,shi t. 2he look on his face- howe)e - showe# cont olle# f* y an# a bit of a s&i k at thei ob)io*s p oble&s with his wa #s. 3/entle&en-3 he acknowle#ge# the e# face#- bl*e hai e# &en now looking anywhe e b*t at hi&. 38 belie)e this is yo* s.3 %e tosse# the long fleshy st ing onto ! e#.s lap. 3%a y...3 "on began b*t stoppe# ab *ptly- knowing the e was nothing he co*l# say to &ake this whole sit*ation less awkwa #. 3:a)e it-3 %a y g owle# o*t. "on i&&e#iately snappe# his &o*th sh*t an# looke# cont ite. 2he twins- howe)e - we e t* ning e##e by the &o&ent an# looke# as if they wo*l# b* st with la*ghte . 35in# telling &e how long yo*.)e all been he e43 3@ - well- yo* see...3 Cha lie sta te#. 3Fnly abo*t ten &in*tes-3 Bill finishe#. 3$e #i#n.t eali1e yo* ha# co&pany.3 3=o* &isse# anothe .Bloke Night.-3 "on pipe# *p- as if that ga)e the& all the e<c*se in the wo l# fo b eaking into %a y.s flat. 38 see-3 %a y sai#- his a &s fol#e# o)e his chest. 3:o that gi)es yo* the ight to ba ge in he e- b eak #own &y wa #s an# int *#e on &y e)ening. 6et alone *sing an @<ten#able @a in &y bedroom43

3=o* lie# to *sD3 "on acc*se#- stan#ing *p an# feeling &*ch b a)e than he o*ght to facing a t aine# >* o who was as &a# as %a y looke#. 38 lie#43 %a y aske# softly. 3$hen #i# 8 lie to yo*- "on43 3=o* sai# yo* we e going to an >* o con)ention when yo*.)e eally been on holi#ay these two weeks. Bon.t t y to #eny itD3 he yelle# o*t as %a y took a b eath to eply. 32onks tol# *s yo* we e on holi#ay lea)e an# #*e back 5on#ay.3 %a y looke# fa f o& g*ilty an# "on sat again. 38 ne)e tol# yo* 8 was going to an >* o con)ention-3 he sai# plainly. 38 sai# 8 was going to be gone fo a fo tnight o so. =o* 7*st ass*&e# it was fo wo k.3 38...yo*...3 "on spl*tte e#- eali1ing he was #ea# in the wate . 3Boes it eally &atte 43 ! e# choke# o*t with a la*gh. 3:ee&s we all know what was happening in that oo&.3 2his b o*ght snigge s all a o*n#- e<cept fo %a y. 3$ell- 8 7*st won#e e# if 8 can go back in an# face &y wife again- knowing that yo* all hea # *s ha)ing se<.3 %a y gest* e# behin# hi& towa # the hall. "on- eali1ing what he ha# 7*st sai#- slippe# off the co*ch an# onto the floo . 3$,w,wife43 3=eah- "on-3 %a y s&i ke#. 3=o* ha)e one. =o* know- the )ows- the ingsC a wife.3 %e hel# *p his left han# an# wiggle# his finge s. 2he e- on his thi # finge lay a shiny- b an#, new gol# we##ing ban#. 3=o*. e &a ie#D3 /eo ge c ie# as they all stoo# in shock. 3$ell- 8 hope 8 still a&- afte tonight-3 %a y snappe# back. 3=o* p ats eally take the cake- yo* know. =o* #ese )e a hell of a lot &o e than 7*st bl*e hai .3 3B*t- "on sai# yo* #on.t #ate-3 Cha lie bl* te# o*t- a look of conf*sion on his face. 3;*&ping to concl*sions again- &ate-3 %a y sai#. 3;*st beca*se 8 #on.t gi)e yo* e)e y #etail of &y life #oesn.t &ean 8 #on.t ha)e one.3 3=eah- b*t...&a ie#43 "on aske# again. 3$hen43 %a y an a f *st ate# han# tho*gh his hai . 32wo weeks-3 he a#&itte# with a sigh. 3$e elope#. =o* p ats 7*st c ashe# the last bit of o* honey&oon.3 3Can we &eet he 43 /eo ge sai# in a cont ite )oice. 3=eah-3 Bill ag ee#. 3$e.# lo)e to &eet he - %a y.3

38 #on.t think...3 >n al&ost fe al g in sp ea# ac oss %a y.s face as he change# his &in#. 3=eah. =eah- 8 think yo* sho*l# &eet he . =o* gits won.t know what hit yo*D3 $ith a )isco*s swipe- %a y whippe# o*t his wan# an# i&&obili1e# the fi)e e# hea#s. 2hey watche#- silent an# still- as he &a che# back #own the hallway- each inwa #ly c inging. > sc ea& an# the so*n# of a s&all f eight engine was the ne<t thing they hea # as the petite fo & of /inny $easley- now appa ently /inny +otte - cha ge# #own the co i#o towa # the&- wan# in han#. %e &ione $easley appa ate# into he an# "on.s sha e# ho&e e<pecting to fin# all he b othe s,in,law in )a io*s stages of # *nkenness an# a h*ge &ess all o)e the flat. 8nstea# the oo&s we e #a k an# the e was )e y little scent of #eba*che y to be fo*n#. :he ignite# he wan# tip an# looke# a o*n#. 3"on43 > &*ffle# g *nt f o& the #i ection of the sofa was the only esponse she got. 3"on- is that yo*43 %e &ione t* ne# on the light switch an# gaspe# at the sight of he h*sban#. 3$hat #i# yo* get *p to now43 she #e&an#e# taking in his bl*e hai an# the wo # .$anke . spelle# o*t in flashing neon pink lette s along his fo ehea#. 3$hat #i# ! e# an# /eo ge #o to yo*43 :he sat ne<t to hi& an# "on c inge# at the heate# look she ga)e hi&. %e &*&ble# a esponse- sta ing at his han#s. 3$hat was that43 38 sai#-3 "on h*ffe#- 3it wasn.t ! e# o /eo ge. 8t was %a y.3 %e &ione looke# conf*se# fo a &o&ent. 3%a y43 3=eah-3 "on looke# away e&ba asse#. 3>n# /inny.3 3%a y an# /inny. "on that &akes no sense. %a y is at a con)ention an# /inny.s *p at the ?ni)e sity fo anothe week.3 :he watche#- bewil#e e# as he shook his hea# fie cely. 3No- that.s what we all tho*ght. B*t they...Fh- 5e lin- 8 can.t belie)e they #i# it.3 %e &ione looke# e)en &o e f *st ate# at hi&. 3Bi# what- "on4 =o*. e still not e<plaining why yo*. e spo ting bl*e hai an# ha)e that ho i# wo # w itten on yo*.3 "on scoote# slightly away f o& his wife an# sighe# hea)ily. 3$ell- it all sta te# when %a y #i#n.t show *p fo bloke night...3