Sarah Martinez 9/25/13 Senior Inquiry Being Aware, But Not Fearful

a!t "e#e$%er, I wa! !itting in the li%rary at !#hool, thin&ing a%out 'hri!t$a! holi(ay, !now%oar(ing, an( $y u)#o$ing %irth(ay* +hile %row!ing Fa#e%oo&, I !aw a )o!t !aying, ,I-$ !o %le!!e( to ha.e %rought $y little !i!ter /ee!e ho$e fro$ !#hool when !o$e )eo)le #annot (o that to(ay*0 It (i(n-t really o##ur to $e that !o$ething ha( ha))ene( until I !aw a !i$ilar )o!t fro$ another frien( a few $inute! later* +on(ering what ha( ha))ene( !o$ewhere at a !#hool, an( &nowing the o((! that a !hooting wa! in.ol.e(, I (e#i(e( to loo& u) ,!#hool !hooting0 on 1oogle, an( !a(ly enough, the fir!t thing that )o))e( u) in %ol( letter! (e#lare(, , SAN"2 3445 6 6M6N7A/2 S3447IN18 29 "6A"0* 7he $o$ent I !aw thi!, $y )al$! %e#a$e !weaty an( I #oul( feel $y %o(y getting hot : I #oul(n-t %elie.e it* I !at there in !ho#&, $y heart #ru!he( %y the #hil(ren who got !hot, (e.a!tate( for the .i#ti$!fa$ilie!, an( I thought a%out $y own fa$ily* I !at there with tear! in $y eye! &nowing there were inno#ent #hil(ren who weren-t going to $a&e it ho$e that night %e#au!e !o$eone ha( (e#i(e( to nee(le!!ly ta&e their li.e!* It wa! e!)e#ially har( to get the thought in $y hea( that it ha( literally ha))ene( thirty $inute! )rior to $e rea(ing the hea(line, a! I wa! $in(le!!ly on Fa#e%oo& thin&ing a%out $y %irth(ay )lan!, there were twenty #hil(ren %eing !hot an( an entire !#hool %eing terrorize(* 7hroughout the (ay, $ore an( $ore )eo)le %egan tal&ing a%out the !hooting, an( we e.en wat#he( a new! %roa(#a!t in $y A; 3i!tory #la!!* A! $u#h a! e.eryone wa! tal&ing a%out it, there wa! a !ilen#e in the !#hool that (ay< )eo)le were quieter an( (i(n-t !ee$e( a! ru!he( to get to #la!!* 6.en though the !hooting ha))ene( on the 6a!t #oa!t, )eo)le a#ro!! the =SA were $ourning for tho!e fa$ilie! an( &ee)ing their own lo.e( one! in $in(* I &now I wa!>I ?u!t wante( to go ho$e that (ay an(

%e with $y fa$ily* 7he !hooting $a(e $e !tart thin&ing a%out how qui#&ly thing! #an #hange an( how .ulnera%le life truly i!* For the fir!t ti$e, I-.e %een !#are( to go to !#hool, worrie( !o$eone $ight !tart a !hooting* 1oing to !#hool for $e wa!n-t a%out hanging out with frien(! an( #o$)laining a%out how %oring $y #la!!e! were any$ore< it %e#a$e a )la#e where I felt un!afe an( %egan to ?u(ge e.eryone aroun( $e* I woul( loo& at )eo)le an( thin& they loo&e( li&e !o$eone who woul( %ring a gun to !#hool* "uring $y #la!!e!, I woul( loo& aroun( the roo$ an( $a&e a $ental )lan of how to e!#a)e if an( when I nee(e( to* I wa! !o !#are(, I a#tually (i!#u!!e( !taying ho$e fro$ !#hool for the ne@t wee& ?u!t in #a!e there wa! a !hooting* My )arent! tol( $e I wa! %eing ri(i#ulou! an( to realize nothing wa! going to ha))en>not e.eryone will %ring a gun to !#hool, an( of #our!e they were right* I &now trage(ie! (o ha))en, %ut they are the e@#e)tion, not the rule* Being !#are( of the worl( i! only going to $a&e $e li.e $y life in fear an( ne.er %e a%le to en?oy the $o$ent! whi#h #ount $o!t* I a$ fortunate to %e with $y fa$ily e.ery(ay an( ha.e that ti$e together that now !o$e fa$ilie! will ne.er %e a%le to ha.e again* If I-$ alway! !#are( of what $ight ha))en, I will ne.er %e a%le to li.e $y life to it! fulle!t* I now ta&e on e.ery(ay life a! if it-! $y la!t* I go out, ha.e fun, an( a))re#iate the goo( ti$e! that I a$ %le!!e( with* 3owe.er, ?u!t %e#au!e I re#ognize the goo( (oe!n-t $a&e $e o%li.iou! to the %a(* I a$ $ore aware of what i! going on aroun( $e, whether it-! at !#hool or any other )u%li# )la#e* I $a&e !ure to en?oy $y ti$e, %ut I al!o loo& out for irregular %eha.ior* 7he San(y 3oo& !hooting ha! $a(e $e realize how fortunate I a$ to %e a%le to !ee $y fa$ily e.ery night an( to #o$e ho$e in a !afe en.iron$ent* 7here !houl( %e a %alan#e in life to &nowing what i! going on aroun( you< to not %e nai.e an( ?u!t thin& e.erything will %e fine>an(>(an(y, %ut to al!o not fret o.er e.erything an( ne.er e@)erien#e life a! it !houl( %e* +hen %a( an( unfortunate thing! o##ur, it i! i$)ortant to un(er!tan( tho!e in#i(ent! an( to learn fro$ the$* It $ay hel) )re.ent the$ fro$ ha))ening again, an( in the

unfortunate e.ent that it (oe! not, it will hel) u! to &now how to re!)on( to the .i#ti$! %etter* i.ing in fear i!n-t healthy, learning fro$ trage(ie! howe.er, i! hel)ful, %e#au!e it tea#he! )eo)le how to grow an( %e#o$e !tronger< whether it-! a! a !ingle )er!on, a !#hool, a #o$$unity, or an entire #ountry*