Student: Rebecca Amavizca Professor: Lynda Haas Course Name: Connect Composition 3.

0 Section Name: WR 37 33057 Saturday, Mar 15, 4:15 AM

Rebecca Amavizca Professor Lynda Haas Writing 37 2 February 2014 A Mystery within a Mystery: The Police Force in the Mystery Genre The mystery genre has widely attracted a massive audience to its gripping and twisted plots. An excerpt from The Theory and Practice of Classic Detective Fiction states that "The unique formal pattern of the detective story genre lies in its double and duplicitous plot. The plot is double because the story is first narrated as it appears to the bewildered bystanders who observe the crime and are to some extent threatened by it but who cannot arrive at its solution." (Delamater, Jerome and Ruth Prigozy 1). Besides this, the mystery genre also has other important conventions, such as a lead detective, a strange case, a crime scene and a criminal. However, a story with representation of the police force or a police officer adds even more to the mystery genre. Specifically, the popular and influential literature of Sir Conan Doyle helped establish this foundation. His second short story, The Sign of the Four exposes the role and function of the police, specifically through Athelney Jones, the lead police officer. The novel The Sign of the Four was published in 1890 in the widely claimed Lipincoth magazine. At the beginning of the story, Sherlock Holmes is approached by Mary Morstan inquiring about the mysterious pearls she has been receiving over the past 6 years and a strange letter. Holmes, along with his partner Watson, is interested in investigating this matter further. Together they join Miss Morstan on her visit to meet the mysterious sender, Thaddeus Sholto. Sholto reveals much of the mystery that connects his father Major Sholto and her father Major Morstan with the mysterious Agra treasure. On their visit to meet Thaddeus's twin Bartholomew to split the treasure, the four find the brother murdered and the treasure stolen. Sherlock Holmes and Watson, after long investigation, join the police and together pursue the thief Jonathan Small and his companion. After Small's capture, Holmes and the others find the treasure gone. The story ends with Jonathan Small illustrating the full story of the sign of the four. The police force convention is developed within this story through the character Athelney Jones, who underlines common police characteristics for the mystery genre, such as lacking knowledge, jumping to conclusions, and carrying out justice. This convention is essential to how

people read The Sign of the Four and experience the mystery genre because the police convention establishes the importance of an unsophisticated and unintelligent police force in order to add to the greatness of the hero, or main character, such as Sherlock Holmes. In Chapter 6 in The Sign of the Four, police detective Athelney Jones enters the crime scene and immediately assumes that Thaddeus Sholto is the person guilty of murdering his twin brother. Jones pompously suggests he has "These flashes [that] come upon me at timesSholto was, on his own confession, with his brother last night. The brother died in a fit, on which Sholto walked off with the treasureThaddeus is evidently in a most disturbed state of mind. His appearance iswell, not attractive. You see that I am weaving my web round Thaddeus. The net begins to close upon him" (41). Athelney Jones's word choice exposes his unknowledgeable and ignorant persona. He uses diction such as "evidently" as if implying that the answer to the murder is clearly and obviously done by the brother, however, Jones has not done any deduction and is merely guessing while ateempting to sound correct. Jones lacks the common knowledge to efficiently solve the case on his own. Furthermore, Jones says that Sholto's "appearance" is "not attractive." Jones not only lacks knowledge but also jumps to conclusions by presuming that because of his sickly physical appearance, Sholto looks guilty, therefore Jones assumes that Sholto must unmistakably be the criminal. Jones's type of deduction is quite contrary to Holmes's, who would never have concluded such things on the basis of mere speculation. Understanding that the police, as demonstrated by Athelney Jones, ultimately assists in framing the story's focus of the main character Holmes, readers will have a better experience of the mystery genre because the reader will be drawn to the genius and logical step by step deduction of Sherlock Holmes while subduing the importance of the police who are solely incapable of solving a crime. In the same passage, Conan Doyle utilizes imagery in order to symbolize the police's assurance of justice. Jones depicts himself as a spider closing in on his prey, the supposed criminal. This illustration symbolizes Jones as the police force who is always able and ready, like a spider waiting on his web to catch food, to enforce justice. Conan Doyle emphasizes this to represent the police at being good at one thing: putting those suspicious in prison. Jones's character therefore is significant because it further underlines how incorrect and way off track the police tend to be, thus framing the plot to center on the work and methods of Sherlock Holmes. In the end, this allows the reader to note misleading attempts to solve the mystery and have an enjoyable experience trying to solve the case on his or her own. It also shines more light on the protagonist Holmes, the only character smart enough to unravel a mystery. The role of the police force, although lack knowledge, jump to conclusions, and carry out justice, ultimately brings the focus back to the legendary Sherlock Holmes. Police detective Athelney Jones is a clear representation of how Conan Doyle consistently uses these character features to portray his other officers, not only in The Sign of the Four but in his other short stories such as Silver Blaze and The Red-Headed League. Conan Doyle established the fundamental qualities of the police force, but throughout the ages the qualities have become more diverse. One article notes that

"Police are almost a burden to the Private investigator of Hard-boiled fiction and is much like the police in the Early Crime Fiction who were unable to achieve justicePolice are either stupid or bound by system they are in and hence need the assistance of the PI." The article notes that Hard-boiled fiction is simply Crime fiction written during the 1920s but still used the same formula, while Early Crime Fiction, that of Edgar Allen Poe's era, also had the police "looking into insignificant things to deeply" not knowing "what to observe." Furthermore, the article explains that Contemporary Crime Fiction presents "believable non-stereotyped characters. The police, therefor, make mistakes, as they are only human [sic]" (An Overview of Crime Fiction). Although varied, the genre convention of the police still plays a key part in modern-day mystery texts, all thanks to Conan Doyle.

Works Cited "An Overview of Crime Fiction." HSC Crime Fiction Gold. N.p., 2007. Web. 02 Feb. 2014. .

Delamater, Jerome and Ruth Prigozy, eds. Theory and Practice of Classic Detective Fiction. New York: Praeger, 1997.

Comments
Question 8: Do you have any general comments on this draft? Select some text in the draft to add them. Lynda Haas:

this is a broad and big claim--it would be more credible if you were quoting from a source about the popularityLynda Haas:

"idely attracted a massive audien"

Along with the important conventions of plot, mysteries also include conventions such as a lead detective, ....., and a ADJECTIVE, ADJECTIVE police detective. The representation of the police is illustrated in The Sign... Lynda Haas:

"Besides this, the mystery genre als"

"he four"

This summary of the novel is much too long--I'd cut it to 2 sentences tops and make sure to include how the police, Jones in particular, fit into the plot---make your summary pointed toward your topic

Lynda Haas:

"police force "

are you going to write about the police FORCE? or about the specific police officer or police detective character...be accurate and precise Lynda Haas: The convention of the inept police officer first established by Conan Doyle became an important convention throughout the mystery stories that followed because this character's lack of sophistication and intelligence is a necessary contrast to highlight... Lynda Haas:

"Hol"

"mes"

the superior talents of the hero detective, such as Holmes. Lynda Haas:

"n him"

only quote what you need to make the specific point you're making in each sentence. Lynda Haas: This is quite good--after reading about 20 essays, yours is the first one that is doing real analysis of the passage--good job! Since you're claiming that the police convention is important because of how it contrasts the hero/Holmes, I think you could Lynda Haas: make this analysis even stronger if you methodically compared the two one detail at a time. For example, Jones sees something and concludes X, based on opinion or circumstance or whatever--Holmes sees the same thing and deduces Y based on logic... Lynda Haas:

"ravel a m"

"ster"

"ly bring"

This sentence just repeats what you already said--see ifyou can add something more. Try searching for sources that specifically address the police convention. Lynda Haas:

"s the qualities have become more dive"

cut repetition Lynda Haas:

"ough var"
repetition

Lynda Haas:

" te"

in your conclusion you can start to mention how modern-day texts are still following what CD did-- which text are you working on? They all have a character that is based on the police convention. Lynda Haas:

"orks C"
Le, Dan:

good work, Rebecca--keep making it better and more detailed

""

I would recommend giving examples of the genre convention being use today. Tong, Elizabeth:

"."

You have a lot of good information and analysis, your paper is solid but there are a few things that could be worked on :) Question 1: Introduction--Rhetorical Situation: Does the writer provide a short but detailed summary of the text and also include several important and relevant details about the text's rhetorical situation? Suggest additions or revisions that would make this part stronger. Le, Dan:

"At the beginning of the story, Sherlock Holmes is approached by Mary Morstan inquiring about the mysterious pearls she has been receiving over the past 6 years and a strange letter. Holmes, along with his partner Watson, is interested in investigating this matter further. Together they join Miss Morstan on her visit to meet the mysterious sender, Thaddeus Sholto. Sholto reveals much of the mystery that connects his father Major Sholto and her father Major Morstan with the mysterious Agra treasure. On their visit to meet Thaddeus's twin Bartholomew to split the treasure, the four find the brother murdered and the treasure stolen. Sherlock Holmes and Watson, after long investigation, join the police and together pursue the thief Jonathan Small and his companion. After Small's capture, Holmes and the others find the treasure gone. The story ends with Jonathan Small illustrating the full story of the sign of the four."
The summary is on point. I would recommend adding some author credentials. Tong, Elizabeth:

" "

Writer provides a detailed summary of the text, but its to long (needs to be condensed). Question 5: Sources: Does the writer use at least 2 credible, authoritative sources for a scholarly audience? Highlight one place where the writer uses a source and make a comment about whether you think this is a credible source, and also whether you think the writer has quoted, paraphrased, or summarized an important and relevant idea from the source.

Le, Dan:

"Delamater, Jerome and Ruth Prigozy, eds. Theory and Practice of Classic Detective Fiction. New York: Praeger, 1997."

The quote was used but wasn't clearly explained. I was left quite lost trying to make sense of the quote. Tong, Elizabeth:

"One article notes that "Police are almost a burden to the Private investigator of Hardboiled fiction and is much like the police in the Early Crime Fiction who were unable to achieve justicePolice are either stupid or bound by system they are in and hence need the assistance of the PI." "
Credible source, its quoted from the article and it relates to what your essay is about. Question 6: Title: Highlight the title of the essay. Does the title reflect the thesis, only in a shorter format? Suggest revisions to the title--even if it's already pretty good, how can it be better? Le, Dan:

"A Mystery within a Mystery: The Police Force in the Mystery Genre"

The title sounds fancy but I fail to make the connection of why it's called a Mystery within a Mystery. The police seem to be very predictable. Tong, Elizabeth:

"A Mystery within a Mystery: The Police Force in the Mystery Genre"
The title is creative and relates to the thesis. Question 2: Thesis: Highlight the sentence(s) in the essay that you believe is the thesis statement--the controlling idea. Does it offer an idea about how this text operates within its genre or context? Does it say something interesting that is beyond the obvious? Is it well-written and readable? Provide revision advice for how to make it better. Le, Dan:

"The police force convention is developed within this story through the character Athelney Jones, who underlines common police characteristics for the mystery genre, such as lacking knowledge, jumping to conclusions, and carrying out justice."
The thesis is well written and shows attributes of the police force that one would not expect to find. You can back up the thesis by adding examples, without providing too much detail, on the topic. Tong, Elizabeth:

"This convention is essential to how people read The Sign of the Four and experience the mystery genre because the police convention establishes the importance of an unsophisticated and unintelligent police force in order to add to the greatness of the hero, or main character, such as Sherlock Holmes. "

Its clear to me that this is your thesis and it gives me an idea of what to expect in your

body paragraphs. I think your thesis is fine the way it is but to make it better you could briefly describe Sherlock Holmes like you did with the police force. Question 4: Expertise. Does the writer convince you that he/she is an expert on the genre and text being analyzed? Highlight one excerpt from the essay that you think illustrates good expertise and explain why. Then highlight another excerpt from the essay that you think could use some work to make it sound more expert and offer revision advice. Le, Dan:

"Jones's character therefore is significant because it further underlines how incorrect and way off track the police tend to be, thus framing the plot to center on the work and methods of Sherlock Holmes."
This sentence shows that you clearly know what you're talking about, making the connection on how the police boosts Sherlock. Tong, Elizabeth:

Good expertise. I think you analyzed this very well, you picked the main points from the passage and explained what they meant. Tong, Elizabeth:

"Athelney Jones's word choice exposes his unknowledgeable and ignorant persona. He uses diction such as "evidently" as if implying that the answer to the murder is clearly and obviously done by the brother, however, Jones has not done any deduction and is merely guessing while ateempting to sound correct. Jones lacks the common knowledge to efficiently solve the case on his own. Furthermore, Jones says that Sholto's "appearance" is "not attractive." Jones not only lacks knowledge but also jumps to conclusions by presuming that because of his sickly physical appearance, Sholto looks guilty, therefore Jones assumes that Sholto must unmistakably be the criminal. Jones's type of deduction is quite contrary to Holmes's, who would never have concluded such things on the basis of mere speculation. "

"Conan Doyle emphasizes this to represent the police at being good at one thing: putting those suspicious in prison."
The analysis here is a little to obvious and general. Maybe rephrase it? Question 3: Analysis vs Summary. The writer should only use summary as a way to introduce an excerpt of the text he/she will then analyze; the essay should not be dominated by summary. Choose one area of the essay where you think there is too much summary and suggest revisions to cut down on the summary. Le, Dan:

"At the beginning of the story, Sherlock Holmes is approached by Mary Morstan inquiring about the mysterious pearls she has been receiving over the past 6 years and a strange letter. Holmes, along with his partner Watson, is interested in investigating this matter further. Together they join Miss Morstan on her visit to meet the mysterious sender, Thaddeus Sholto. Sholto reveals much of the mystery that connects

his father Major Sholto and her father Major Morstan with the mysterious Agra treasure. On their visit to meet Thaddeus's twin Bartholomew to split the treasure, the four find the brother murdered and the treasure stolen. Sherlock Holmes and Watson, after long investigation, join the police and together pursue the thief Jonathan Small and his companion. After Small's capture, Holmes and the others find the treasure gone. The story ends with Jonathan Small illustrating the full story of the sign of the four. The police force convention is developed within this story through the character Athelney Jones, who underlines common police characteristics for the mystery genre, such as lacking knowledge, jumping to conclusions, and carrying out justice."
The summary could have been more compacted together by making the sentences more descriptive. It seemed like the summary took up the first half of the paper. Tong, Elizabeth:

"The novel The Sign of the Four was published in 1890 in the widely claimed Lipincoth magazine. At the beginning of the story, Sherlock Holmes is approached by Mary Morstan inquiring about the mysterious pearls she has been receiving over the past 6 years and a strange letter. Holmes, along with his partner Watson, is interested in investigating this matter further. Together they join Miss Morstan on her visit to meet the mysterious sender, Thaddeus Sholto. Sholto reveals much of the mystery that connects his father Major Sholto and her father Major Morstan with the mysterious Agra treasure. On their visit to meet Thaddeus's twin Bartholomew to split the treasure, the four find the brother murdered and the treasure stolen. Sherlock Holmes and Watson, after long investigation, join the police and together pursue the thief Jonathan Small and his companion. After Small's capture, Holmes and the others find the treasure gone. The story ends with Jonathan Small illustrating the full story of the sign of the four. The police force convention is developed within this story through the character Athelney Jones, who underlines common police characteristics for the mystery genre, such as lacking knowledge, jumping to conclusions, and carrying out justice. "
Like we talked about in class on Tuesday, this paragraph has a little to much summary, try to condense it to the most important events and get rid of the extra unnecessary words. Question 7: Effective Paragraphs: Each body paragraph of the essay should have a logical structure (a topic sentence and then sentences that develop the idea in that sentence) and focus on one main point. Choose one body paragraph and provide some advice on how the writer can make it more effective. Le, Dan:

You should mention how the spider doesn't care what it catches as long as it gets something. This would help drive home to the point that the police jump to conclusions.

"Jones depicts himself as a spider closing in on his prey, the supposed criminal. This illustration symbolizes Jones as the police force who is always able and ready, like a spider waiting on his web to catch food, to enforce justice"

Tong, Elizabeth:

"logical step by step deduction of Sherlock Holmes"

To make this body paragraph more effective you should specifically mention what Holmes approach for deducting is because you say "Jone's type of deduction is quite contrary to Holme's" but you don't really explain Holmes approach.