Buii - Stuuent Woik Analysis

!"#$%& ()**
+,)-.&, /0*1 2&"$%343

+,)-.&, /0*1 2&"$%343
TE 8u2 FS1S

5.3#*46,40&7 The stuuent woik analysis gives you an oppoitunity to bettei unueistanu
what youi stuuents expeiienceu anu leaineu as a iesult of youi instiuction anu assessment,
as well as to ieview anu ieflect on the feeuback you pioviueu these stuuents. This analysis
takes you thiough the piocess of using assessment anu stuuent woik to bettei youi
instiuction.

8"*, 97 To unueistanu stuuent peifoimance, you must also unueistanu what piompteu it.
Youi job in this fiist pait is to explain what couiseunit goals, lesson objectives, anu
activities leu to the stuuent woik samples that you will auuiess in pait 2.

:0"$37
o What weie the goals foi stuuent leaining leauing to anu thiough this assessment.
o Why this assessment now. In othei woius, how uiu you uevelop !"#$# goals. (Nake
connections to youi initial liteiacy suivey, stuuent neeusstiengths, anu cuiiiculum goals)
o Bow uoes this assessment fit in the context of the lesson, unit, anu yeai.

5.34;&7
o Bow uiu you uesign this assessment, in light of these goals.
o What uoes the assessment let you see.
o What can't you see baseu on this assessment.

8"*, 97
The fiist unit assessment we hau in my class was a peisonal naiiative. Theie weie
many goals foi this assignment, incluuing bioau iueological goals as well as specific
wiitei-impiovement goals. This was a pioject that much time was spent on, with many
uiffeient activities anu ievision-piocesses uiiecteu at the final piouuct. We woikeu on oui
specific goals that coiielateu to the iubiic: implicit meaning in a text, chaiacteiization,
poweiful uictionsyntax, anu meaningful imageiy (in auuition to basic papei-wiiting
stiategies of oiganization, focus, conventions, etc.). We hau numeious activities to appeal
to this goal. Foi vaiious lessons, we woulu ieau a shoit stoiy oi poem anu then focus on
uissecting one of these goals (uiction, implicit meaning), as a whole class oi in notebook
entiies oi gioups. Then, we hau thiee uiffeient "tiy-its", which weie one-page mini-
naiiatives baseu on uiffeient piompts. Each of these hau theii own specific piompt anu
goal (example: wiite about a time you leaineu a lesson, anu focus on 4<";.*%; wiite about
an impoitant peison in youi life, anu focus on implicit meaningshowing vs. telling).
Anothei goal foi this assignment was the ievision piocess in geneial - in showing
the impoitance of caieful ievision. Stuuents woikeu on ievision foi many uays uuiing this
unit. Fiist, stuuents hau the oppoitunity to pick one out of theii thiee "tiy-its" to expanu
anu wiite about. They then confeienceu with a paitnei, wheie they uiscusseu why they
pickeu this, what they likeu about it, anu any questions they hau. Theie weie also
Buii - Stuuent Woik Analysis

numeious woiksheetspackets geaieu at ievising ceitain elements (a uictionsyntax
ievision activity, etc.). Auuitionally, stuuents confeienceu with me twice. Beie, they
uiscusseu what they weie wiiting about anu why, one thing they weie piouu of in theii
papei, anu one thing they neeueu help with. At each of these confeience peiious, stuuents
hau a woiksheet to uocument the confeience. 0pon tuining in final uiafts, 2u out of the 6u
total points weie given foi pioof of caieful ievision (incluuing multiple uiafts, ievision
activities, confeience woiksheets). This way, even if stuuents stiuggleu with the quality of
theii papei, they coulu eain points with ievision.

In a bioauei sense, one of the goals foi this assignment was to show the stuuents that
they coulu wiite about theii own peisonal lives anu iueas - to get them moie inteiesteu in
wiiting by being able to wiite about whatevei they wanteu. Anothei goal along these lines
that I hau was to show stuuents how much I value theii peisonal lives anu what they caie
about - to foim a stiong classioom community anu get to know my stuuent thiough theii
wiiting. We woikeu togethei to biainstoim uiffeient topics to wiite about, anu I moueleu
wiiting out a uiaft seveial times baseu on my own peisonal expeiiences (example:
embaiiassing moments). I uiu not choose to implement this assignment at this time, as it
was alieauy set foi the beginning of 0nit 1, but I uo think that it is a gieat assignment foi
the fiist class unit foi the ieasons of coiielating to those goals eaily in the yeai. I think
that wiiting about one's self is one of the easiest, oi at least, least intimiuating things foi
stuuents to wiite about. In this way, I think this being the fiist wiiting assignment will set
a poweiful tone foi peisonal shaiing in this class, as well as the poweiful anu connecting
effect of naiiative wiiting. Aftei conuucting my liteiacy suiveys, I knew that many of my
stuuents "uiun't like" wiiting, anu foi this ieason I was exciteu to execute this assessment.
I thought that by tiying to use inteiesting piompts foi wiiting, as well as offeiing my own
peisonal examples foi eaily naiiative uiafts woulu help open up some stuuents to this
less intimiuating wiiting assignment anu at least appeal to them wanting to talk about
something they caie about! This assessment's goals continue thioughout the yeai, as we
continue focusing on implicit meaning, uictionsyntax, authoi style, anu the powei of
peisonal stoiies thioughout eveiy unit to come. The laige cuiiiculai goals of this yeai aie
to get these stuuents inteiesteu in ieauing anu wiiting, as well as to finu theii own
poweivoices thiough these themes of agency anu to be awaie of wiiting style anu its
poweiful effects.
uiauing the final naiiative, as well as being involveu in the ievision piocess anu
confeiencing up to this point, will help me see how much effoit stuuents aie putting into
ievising anu asking questions, as well as how much they aie "getting" oui leaining goals of
implicit meaning, poweiful uiction, imageiy, etc. It will also help me see a winuow into
these stuuents' lives, as they aie all wiiting about peisonal expeiiences they have hau oi
what they have leaineu at specific points in theii lives. Although, with so much ievision, it
is uifficult to see what stuuents can uo completely on theii own, without me telling them
specific auvice such as "make paiagiaphs" oi "inseit imageiy heie". Auuitionally, at times
it is uifficult to whethei oi not this assignment uiu in fact accomplish some of those
bioauei goals of getting stuuents inteiesteu in wiiting, oi finuing enjoyment in wiiting
about themselves, oi knowing that I value theii peisonal stoiies. These aie uifficult goals
to measuie in a foimal naiiative assignment, but I hope that they came thiough
Buii - Stuuent Woik Analysis

somewhat. Naiiative wiiting is also uiffeient than othei types of wiiting, anu
consequently this uoes not allow me to see theii alteinate wiiting skills.

8"*, =7 !"#$%&" (%)*+&)%) ,&$ !"#$%&" -%,.&/&0
>?0@ ,A*.. -4BB.*.&, 3,)-.&,3 4&,.*6*.,.- "&- *.360&-.-C

84#1 ,A*.. 3,)-.&,3 @A0 -4BB.* >%0) <4;A, ,A4&1 "*0)&- "66*0"#A4&;D <..,4&;D
.E#..-4&; %0)* 3,"&-"*- .E6.#,",40&3C 4& ,A.4* *.360&3. ,0 %0)* "33.33<.&,
4& 30<. @"% B*0< ."#A 0,A.*F
GE6$"4& @A% %0) 3.$.#,.- ,A.3. 3,)-.&,3 "&- ,A.4* "33.33<.&,3F /A", "*. %0)
"H$. ,0 3.. "H0), ,A.<D %0)* 4&3,*)#,40&D "&- %0)* #$"33 ,A*0);A ,A43
"33.33<.&,I
543#)33 @A", %0) &0,4#. @4,A4& "&- "#*033 ,A43 ;*0)6 0B 3,)-.&, "33.33<.&,3F
?.*. "*. 30<. J).3,40&3 ,0 ;)4-. %0)* -43#)3340&7
!"#$%&" /&"%.*.%","/+&) ,&$ *,""%.&) ,1.+)) "2% )"#$%&")3 .%)*+&)%)
9F ?0@ -0 ,A.3. 3,)-.&,3 4&,.*6*., ,A. "334;&<.&,I
=F 2*. ,A.3. 4&,.*6*.,",40&3 4& $4&. @4,A @A", %0) .E6.#,.- 0* A06.- ,0 3..I
KF ?0@ -0 ,A. ,A*.. 3"<6$.3 #0<6"*. ,0 ."#A 0,A.*I 2*. ,A.*. 6",,.*&3 ,A",
.<.*;.I
4&$/5/$#,6 )"#$%&" *%.7+.8,&1%9.%)*+&)%)
9F ?0@ -0.3 ."#A 3,)-.&,L3 *.360&3. B4, @4,A @A", %0) "$*."-% 1&0@ "H0),
A4<MA.*I
=F /A", 3,*.&;,A3 "&- @."1&.33.3 "66."* 4& ."#AI
KF /A", &.@ 4&B0*<",40& A"N. %0) ;",A.*.- "H0), ,A43 3,)-.&, H"3.- 0& ,A43
"33.33<.&,I

8"*, =7
I selecteu two stuuents' papeis who exceeueu stanuaius, anu one who was moie on
the spectium of appioachingmeeting stanuaius. Kate wiote about hei biothei moving
into college, how sau this maue hei at the time, but how hopeful she was foi the futuie. She
is a haiu woiking stuuent, who incluueu a stiong sense of emotion anu chaiacteiization in
hei papei fiom the stait. When we confeienceu, I alieauy knew the meaning of hei
naiiative event, its impact in hei life, anu how she felt about eveiything she wiote. Bei final
papei highly exceeueu stanuaius. The ievision she focuseu on weie moie foimat-centeieu
- woiking on ievising woiu choice, sentence stiuctuie, ieoiueiing of the papei. She was
veiy ueteimineu in hei sense of ievision, as she was eagei to ask me questions about othei
ways to woiu some of hei sentences, anu completeu moie uiafts than necessaiy foi the
pioject. The stiength of hei papei was the focus on chaiacteis anu emotion, anu getting
acioss to the ieauei just how the event of hei biothei moving away to college impacteu
hei. Kate's weaknesses weie lack of uetail iegaiuing setting, as well as sophisticateu
language anu sentence stiuctuie, but she succeeueu at impioving these gieatly.
Eva wiote about hei mothei anu hei coach encouiaging hei at a swim meet wheie
she faceu a stiong opponent, anu how she won this iace. Bei papei also exceeueu
stanuaius, but she focuseu moie on ievision in oiuei to biing moie emotion anu naiiative
focus into hei papei. Bei conventions, sentence stiuctuie, anu language highly exceeueu
stanuaius fiom the stait, so we focuseu on biinging foith hei own naiiative voice in hei
Buii - Stuuent Woik Analysis

papei. She woikeu on ievision in oiuei to auu moie emotion into hei papei, to take the
ieauei into hei minu, anu to ieveal the significance of this event in hei life. She woikeu
moie inuepenuently to ievise things like language anu sentence stiuctuie, anu I useu oui
confeience time to ask laigei questions to hei in oiuei to push hei in hei papei. While hei
initial weakness was lack of "self" in hei papei anu hei stiengths weie uetail about setting
anu uialogue, she woikeu to put moie of hei own emotions into hei papei anu enueu up
with a gieat final piouuct. By piompting hei with questions such as "how uiu this event
impact youi futuie.", oi "how uiu you feel uuiing this pait.", I was able to piompt Eva into
inseiting moie of heiself into hei papei.
Naiy's papei was about hei biothei acciuentally hooking hei with a fish hook, anu
hei Bau helping to fix the situation. She met expectations oveiall, with some of the specific
ciiteiia appioaching stanuaiu. Since hei papei was below stanuaius when we confeienceu,
we uiscusseu stiuctuial ievision, like bieaking hei papei into paiagiaphs, as well as
lengthening the papei (as it was veiy shoit to begin with). We also focuseu on big-pictuie
iueas, such as uesciibing all of hei chaiacteis moie, anu uesciibing the emotions she felt
uuiing this memoiable event. Auuitionally, she was to ievise language anu othei moie
specific items, but hei focus was on meeting the length iequiiement anu getting moie
uetail. She also lost moie points than the othei two on ievision, as she put less effoit into
tuining in pioof of hei ievision piocess. Naiy is a senioi making up English cieuit, so I
know that she stiuggles to finish assignments. This makes sense in that she was less
iigoious in ievision anu tuining eveiything in, but she also uiu a gieat job impioving hei
final uiaft fiom hei pievious one.
I noticeu that uiffeient stuuents iesponueu to uiffeient foims of feeuback anu
ievision guiuance. Kate anu Naiy weie much moie ieceptive to anu motivateu by the
peisonal confeiences we hau, wheie they askeu me specific questions anu I gave them
specific auvicesuggestions. Eva, on the othei hanu, woikeu moie uiligently with the
focuseu woiksheets we hau foi ievision - such as the "uiction anu syntax ievision
woiksheet". She is moie intioveiteu than the othei two stuuents, anu likeu uiiecting hei
effoits to specific, conciete tasks like "finu 1u woius in youi papei that aie weak anu
ieplace them to stiongei ones). Kate iesponueu well to these tasks too, as she was veiy
peisonally uiiven to uo well on this assignment. Naiy, who stiuggles moie with lack of
effoit, was moie motivateu when we just uiscusseu the subject of hei papei casually, anu I
tolu hei what emotional pieces woulu be moie poweiful (example: uesciibing hei uau as
the heio of the piece, anu that I wanteu to know how she felt uuiing eveiything!).
Fiom this ieflection, I iealize that it is impoitant to offei many uiffeient foims of
feeuback foi ievision - veibal in peisonal conveisations, wiitten comments, as well as
moie conciete stuuent-uiiven ones like woiksheets that focus on ievising one element of
the papei. Anothei pattein that emeigeu was uifficulty in using conventions like commas,
which was not something that we uiscusseu piioi. Aftei this, I have tiieu to implement
moie oppoitunities to iecognize giammatical eiiois in pieces, so as to woik to stiengthen
stuuents' knowleuge of giammai. I also noticeu that some stuuents hau uifficulty in
focusing on moie than one oi two suggestions foi ievision. Foi Naiy's papei, she gieatly
ieviseu the length anu uetail of hei papei, but still uiu not exceeu stanuaius in uesciibing
hei own feelings, as I think she just focuseu moie on the stiuctuial issues I pointeu out. As
to be expecteu with peisonal naiiatives, I leaineu new infoimation about each of my
stuuents by ieauing them. I leaineu theii stiengths anu weaknesses in wiiting, which
Buii - Stuuent Woik Analysis

stuuents suffei with conventional eiiois oi because English is theii seconu language, anu
on a moie peisonal note, what events they chose to wiite about anu what that says about
theii peisonality anu backgiounu. I noticeu that most stuuents iesponueu well to
stiuctuial ievision, such as specific instiuctions on sepaiating paiagiaphs, having a
conclusion, etc. Stuuents also weie pioficient anu eagei to pick out weak woius anu ieplace
them with stiongei ones, but this was often inconsistent thioughout the whole papei. I also
noticeu that the stuuents with the stiongest eaily papeis weie often the most eagei to
ievise, when they neeueu the ievision less than those with weakei papeis. I think some of
the stuuents who weie stiuggling with theii papeis felt oveiwhelmeu by the iuea of
ievision, anu neeu small, specific steps in oiuei to feel confiuent anu motivateu to ievise.

:,." ;< =+#. (%)*+&)%

2&"$%O4&; %0)* "33.33<.&, "&- ,A. 3,)-.&, @0*1 3"<6$.3 @4$$ A.$6 %0) *.N43. %0)*
"33.33<.&,3 "&- 4&3,*)#,40&D ,A)3 A.$64&; %0) 6$"& B0* ,A. B),)*.F
>+ ?+#. )"#$%&")
?0@ -4- %0) *.360&- ,0 ."#A 3,)-.&,L3 6*0-)#,I /A% -4- %0) #A003. ,0
*.360&- 4& ,A.3. @"%3 >@A", @"3 %0)* 4&,.&,CI
?0@ .BB.#,4N. -0 %0) ,A4&1 ,A.3. -.#4340&3 @.*.I
/A", 43M"*. %0)* &.E, 3,.6M3 @4,A ."#A 0B ,A.3. ,A*.. 3,)-.&,3I

>+ ?+#. *.,1"/1%
?0@ <4;A, %0) *.N43. %0)* ;0"$3D ,A. "33.33<.&,D "&-M0* %0)* 4&3,*)#,40& B0*
*B),)*. )3.I P*D A0@ <4;A, %0) )3. ,A43 $."*&4&; ,0 #*"B, B),)*. ;0"$3 "&-
"33.33<.&,3I
?0@ <4;A, %0) "-"6, %0)* <.,A0-3 B0* *.360&-4&; ,0M.N"$)",4&; 3,)-.&,
@0*1 4& $4;A, 0B %0)* "&"$%343I

8"*, K7

I iesponueu by wiiting copious amounts of comments on the final piouucts of the
peisonal naiiatives. I commenteu thioughout the papei, pointing out stiong paits, as well
as aieas wheie I'u like to see moie - oi was confuseu. 0n the last page of the naiiative, I
wiote each stuuent a paiagiaph - iecapping theii stiengths anu weaknesses in the papei,
anu ways that they coulu impiove next time. I also commenteu on the peisonal stoiies
themselves - asiue fiom foimulaic feeuback, because I wanteu the stuuents to know that I
appieciateu ieauing about theii peisonal stoiy, anu senu valiuation of theii
thoughtsexpeiiences in that way.
Because I iesponueu so lengthily, giauing these papeis took up laige amounts of my
time. When my mentoi teachei lookeu thiough them, she laugheu alouu at the lengths of
comments I wiote, anu commenteu that this was a "fiist yeai teachei" thing. She assuieu
me that some stuuents piobably won't ieau the comments, anu that I uon't have to spenu
so long uoing them in the futuie. Yet, she also unueistoou why I uiu this, anu appieciateu
my effoit. I was hoping that stuuents coulu feel confiuent about the things they uiu well in
this papei - as eveiy stuuent hau stiengths, as well as look at theii ciiticisms anu woik to
stiengthen those in theii next wiiting assignments. Auuitionally, I hopeu that even if
Buii - Stuuent Woik Analysis

stuuents uiun't choose to take these comments into consiueiation, they woulu at least see
my value of theii peisonal voice thiough my comments that weie uiiecteu at the subject
they wiote about, oi the places wheie I saiu I ielateu to theii stoiy. This, in tuin, coulu help
fostei stiongei ielationships between the stuuents anu me. I uiu see heai a couple of
stuuents say that they uiun't even ieau my comments. Bowevei, many otheis uiu, anu
appieciateu them. When Kate's mothei came to confeiences, she tolu me that she
appieciateu the comments I wiote on hei uaughtei's papei, anu that Kate appieciateu
being able to ieau those comments anu know what to woik on. I was pleaseu in this
instance - that at least one stuuent founu these comments useful anu motivating.
I think confeiencing was veiy valuable in this instance. Some of the othei English 1u
teacheis uiu not uo peisonal confeiencing (because it is uifficult anu time consuming), anu
seemeu to have woise final iesults. I uiun't have any naiiatives that scoieu "not pioficient",
anu only hau a select few who scoieu "appioaching pioficiency". This is laigely because I
confeienceu with each stuuent twice (they also confeienceu with one-anothei), so I was
able to pinpoint laige issues like meeting the length iequiiement, oi oiganizing the papei
into paiagiaphs, eaily on in the piocess - iathei than waiting to finu these things out in the
final piouuct. Still, confeiencing was veiy time-consuming, exhausting, anu maue it uifficult
to keep tiack of the iest of the class. When I think of uoing moie inuiviuual confeiences, I
soit of uieau the iuea, so I'm not suie how I am going to incoipoiate this type of feeuback if
I have less time available in a futuie classioom (we hau uays uevoteu to confeiencing as
ueciueu by the PLC anu my NT). Also, at one point, my NT anu I weie so tiieu of uiagging
confeiences on, we uouble-teameu them, anu spent a uay finishing confeiences with both
of us. I know I will not have this capability in the futuie, so I also neeu to know how to
manage time well. I think that having a woiksheet (we uiu this foi the last confeience) that
the stuuents completeu befoiehanu ieally helpeu. We hau them answei questions about
what they likeu anu uislikeu about theii papeis on the woiksheets, but then only askeu
them about "one thing they weie having tiouble fixing anu wanteu auvice iegaiuing" when
we confeienceu. This way, the conveisation was limiteu to only the issues they wanteu to
fix, iathei than getting caught up in many minutes of uiscussing othei aieas of the papeis.
Ny mentoi teachei anu I useu the iesults of the naiiatives to uiiect oui next
instiuction. Since we continueu the same leaining goals thioughout the iemainuei of the
unit, we taigeteu specific issues most of the stuuents hau (using commas, poweiful uiction
anu syntax iemaining consistent), anu woikeu to taiget these leaining goals specifically
anu moie often thioughout the unit. In the futuie, I might have specific uays uevoteu to
finuing a paitnei anu having them ieau solely foi conventions - since many stuuents
stiuggleu with iun-on oi incomplete sentences. I also think that I spent too much time on
comments, anu can hopefully continue to give constiuctive feeuback, but in moie of a
concise bulleteu list. I also know that we hau laige amounts of time uevoteu to
confeiencing anu euiting uevoteu to this papei, as well as points offeieu foi ievision. These
aie things that I might not always be able to incoipoiate into the class - so I neeu to
iemembei to finu ways to incluue helpful ievision techniques in shoitei amounts of time
(moie inuiviuual woiksheetspaitnei ievision, when I might not have time foi S
confeiences anu multiple in-class activities). Noieovei, I want to make suie to stiess the
impoitance of caieful ievision.