Perez 1 Daniella Perez ENC 1101 Professor Jacobs 26 March 2014 Keeping the Family Together What is home?

Home to someone may mean thats where he or she was born. Home could be where they feel most comfortable. Home is where they grew and made lines on the doorframe to show how tall they have gotten. Home to me is wherever my mom decided to go next. A few years ago, my sisters and I packed our belongings to move with my stepfather who was already in New York. We later realized it wasnt the best idea for us. I was taken out of school earlier than I should have and once in our new home we all felt awkward and out of place. My mother became depressed after having my brother and I stepped in to attend to him plenty of times. We did our best to be there for each other in that dark period of our lives. Sometimes people relocate so they can be together as a family but moving can affect them in negative ways. A persons family plays one of the biggest roles in their life. It provides identity. They all have different values and goals. Regardless of anything, a family should be ones foundation of support and comfort. The American Academy of Pediatrics explains, Children in their middle years treasure their families and feel they are special and irreplaceable. This demonstrates why families need to be together. A family is a bond. Surely, things happen to tear families apart but every parent knows it takes hard work to keep the family going as an effective functional unit (The Importance of Family). Family structure improves the development of children by giving them stability and a sense of self, knowing that they have people to fall back on. Maintaining these relationships is a reason why families may relocate. If there is some sort of

Perez 2 separation within the family, the others would find it to be the right thing to do to adjust their living situation. Along with an unfamiliar roof over their heads, a new home also means a new environment. This can be especially uncomfortable for a teen such as myself because adolescents should have stability. Theyre at a time in their lives when theyre finding their identity and this could be difficult if they constantly have to start over with an empty apartment or a school full of unfriendly faces that theyll try to make friends out of. In an article written by Jeremiah Whittenhall, he suggests that teachers are actually the ones that should be the most compassionate when encountering a new student. In a list of tips for teachers, he says, Be patient and warm with new students. You could be their first important impression of the community. Furthermore, he points out that there are many different reasons that would make a family move and that its significant to identify a specific one (Whittenhall 4). The cause of the move creates a difference in the way the adolescent feels about it whether it was voluntary or forced. Without sufficient support, moving can greatly affect their education depending on how they prioritize school. If theyre having too much of a hard time getting used to the change, then consequently their grades could drop. Researchers in Los Angeles concluded that children in families that moved six times or more were 35 percent more likely to receive a failing grade and 77 percent more likely to have four or more behavioral problems (United Press International). One of the more overt stress factors is the actual transportation part of the move. To pack everything and settle into a completely new place successfully requires a great deal of planning. Traveling also depends on the budget of the family. Some families may be able to travel lightly and fast, on an airplane. They could hire movers to bring their things to their destination. A quote found for the move from Orlando to New York estimated to be about $2,400 on just moving

Perez 3 alone (City to City Moving). Other families however may not be financially stable enough to have people do the work for them. They might have to pack everything themselves and drive it all to their new home. Speaking from experience, this would be the least welcoming or comforting idea about leaving to a new place. With a decent mindset and a plan however, the move can go smoothly. Use resources available to you. In addition to dollars, self-help publications, skills, time and information, other resources include good friends, loving family members, special talents and abilities. All of these resources can help you get through lifes transitions (Quick, Fetsch & Rupured). Both focusing on schoolwork and financial problems are indicial reasons that families and teenagers may struggle when a move interrupts their lives. In turn, relocating and having to cope with those things costs an emotional toll on the person as well. The general sense of confusion and disorder can make moving both physically and emotionally stressful (Oesterreich). Change is hard to accept in any aspect of life. As normal human beings, we get comfortable around things we are familiar with. We may subconsciously create routines. When theres a disturbance in the wave of actions taken throughout the day, we tend to feel thrown off. Having to adapt to a new environment can make everything feel thrown off and there are a few factors that affect how serious the imbalance is. For instance, again, the reason for the move plays a significant role in the emotions dealt with afterwards. Some people can be excited and think of it as adventure or a fresh start. This is usually for when the move is voluntary and perhaps if the children in the family were already having a difficult time being comfortable where they were at first. Theres also the possibility that a famil y would relocate because of financial problems or a death in the family, in which case everyone would feel a stronger sense of loss. Its even more common for them to all feel a mixture of both. As optimistic as a person

Perez 4 may be about leaving, its inevitable that theyll have people, place or things to miss (Oesterreich). Its discernible that all teenagers have different personalities and temperaments. This directly affects how they respond to the move. A family life specialist explains, Some children are naturally outgoing and will be able to make friends immediately while some other children may take months. Some dimensions of an adolescents personality may be more evident and brought forward while trying to settle in. An already rebellious teen could act out more in attempt to feel comfortable. A teen that is nervous or anxious would show that kind of behavior even more than usual until they adjust. As a parent, its important to know what type of personality their child has so they could be better prepared to handle it. Oesterreich also stated that teenagers are more concerned with their social relationships. Even though they might be old enough to understand why theyre moving, they wont help but feel as though the move forcefully ended their friendships. Thats the part that is harder to accept on an emotional level and increases the feeling of loss. Leaving behind a home when moving has been to referred to as leaving unfinished business, another reason as to why people struggle to adjust to their new home. We move to a different community but our minds are filled with old information: where our favorite gas station was, when the doughnut shop was open, and how to stay close to our best friend who no longer lives a short distance away (Quick, Fetsch & Rupured). After having to move several times within the past few years, Ive learned that the best way to handle moving is to fully understand the reason for it, and what needs to be done to feel at home. Adjustments to change require patience and even support from the rest of the family.

Perez 5 Works Cited "City to City Moving." Moving Costs Estimator. N.p., n.d. Web. 14 Apr. 2014. <http://www.citytocitymoving.us/>. "Transitions and Changes: Practical Strategies." Transitions and Changes: Practical Strategies. N.p., n.d. Web. 14 Apr. 2014. <http://www.ext.colostate.edu/pubs/consumer/10214.html>. "Understanding Children: Moving to a New Home." Expat Women. N.p., n.d. Web. 14 Apr. 2014. <http://www.expatwomen.com/expat-women-mothers/understanding-childrenmoving-new-home.php>. Whittenhall, Jeremiah. "Helping an Adolescent Student Cope with Moving." Northern Illinois University, n.d. Web. 14 Apr. 2014. <http://www.cedu.niu.edu/~shumow/itt/forreview/StudentMobility.pdf>.