1. Describe the situation: Who was involved? What was the main topic of conversation? 2.

Describe how you noticed yourself vacillating between listening empathically and listening autobiographically. 3. Describe how the person you were talking with responded to you when you listened empathically Describe how easy or difficult you found that it was to listen empathically for that long.
The conversation I had was with my wife and it had to do with an extended family learned behavior of manipulation and guilt. Each family member has become master manipulators or the ones who are manipulated, leaving them with guilt. My wife brought the subject up to me after our family reunion this past weekend. The problem has come to an ugly head and reared itself during our visit to Idaho. I wanted so badly to insert my own analysis of the problem and what I thought needed to be done to fix the problem. It was so clear to me how the problem began and what we should do. I worked diligently to not focus on what I thought I knew but to listen intently to what she was saying. I found that I learned a lot more about past issues and my original analysis was not correct. I was glad I stayed tuned in long enough and did not settle for my initial judgment. When the conversation ended my wife thanked me for being so understanding and listening so well. She felt better about the whole thing and felt reassured that the cycle was not going to continue with us. It was a little of both hard and easy to listen empathetically. The hard part was overcoming my tendency to answer with emotion and insert my opinion as our conversation went on. The easy part was doing it for my wife. She is a great person and I love her so it was worth the effort that it took.