Laura Mushrush April 14, 2014 Phil 1120-002 Professor Izrailevsky

Marriage and Family: Gender Roles and Post Feministic Society http://lauramushrush.weebly.com/
Family has been the center of existence for thousands of years. Many people have relied upon family to survive. Yet today Family is a hot topic. From what a Family is to roles in the family and everything in between is a heated debate. I will be looking at some of these emotionally charged topics and elaborating on both side of the debate. The biggest debate I came across is the definition of family. There are hundreds of definitions out there. The two that I came across the most are a group of individual living under one roof and under one head or a group of persons of common ancestry. Just looking at only two of these definitions you can see family in open to ones own interpretation and one family is not like another. Another term that is commonly used in The United States is the Nuclear or Traditional family. The traditional Nuclear family consisted of a father, wife, and children, where the mother was at home taking care of the house and children. In the book Joined at the Heart, Al and Tipper Gore discovered through statistical data that The classic nuclear family of our childhoodis not gone, but is very much a minority of families now. Alongside it today are two-income families, single-parent families and a host of other types. They also go on to define that the true essence of family is captures in the definition that it is a group of people who love and care about each other, regardless of blood relation or marital status. According to the last definition homosexuals and lesbian couples with children constitute as a family. Depending on the

definition in which you choose to go by, you can see how this would create such a hot topic in the media today. Which brings us to one of the bigger debates, legalization of Gay marriage. I am not going to go into depth on this subject but it is a very interesting topic. Any the arguments for and against it mainly stem from what the individuals/groups believe the definition of family is. It would be hard for me to state my personal opinion about this subject but that would require another 5 page paper. I can however tell you what I think is the definition of the family. I like how the Gores put it a group of people who love and care about each other, regardless or blood relation or marital status. I believe this definition is what family is all about Love and support. I have a neighbor that is like my second mom and my children call her aunt Stacey. Is she blood related? No. Is she part of my family? Absolutely, she is almost if no more involved then my mother. Family is about love so lets try and focus on that. Now going back a little, today families consist of all shape and sizes. Some families consist of just a dad or just a mom. Other families have what they call a blended family, which includes kids from a previous marriage. Are all of these families families? If you look back 80 years ago you wouldnt see these types of families or at least they would be very few and far between. So what brought the changes? The Family dynamics started changing in the 1960s and 70s, during, what is known today, as the Second Wave of feminism. It focused on a wide range of issues including sexuality, reproductive rights, family, and the work place. Many radical feminist saw marriage as a primary vehicle for oppressing women. Some even named the problem as patriarchy. Adrienne Rich defined the term as the power of the fathers: a familial-society, ideological, political system in which men determine what part women shall or shall not play. Basically, the female is beneath the male. This of course brought about the Second Wave a feminism.

The post- feministic society has entitled men and women to find happiness. It has enabled women to think outside the box, allowing them to develop skills outside of the home. Women are now attending school, getting educated and earning a degree. The second wave entitled them to their freedom. No more of this stay home and make sure everyone else is happy before themselves. This lead to sexual revolution, womens liberation, and increased mobility. Has women empowerment been taken too far? Some feminist believe the traditional and biblical marriage requires the women to give up most personal freedom for the benefit of others. Many feminist devalue marriage because it is an instrument for oppressing womens personal freedom. On the contrary many believe that women choose to marry and have children to fulfill the duties and responsibility. Could this be their purpose? Since the second wave of feminism we have seen a dramatic change in families across the U.S. The U.S. Census shows that in the 1970, 81% of all household were made up of traditional families. In 2003, it showed that the number decreased to 68%. In 2013 that number was down to 66%. The number of single mother families increased form 3 million in 1970 to 10 million in 2003. That number more than tripled in a little more than 30 years. The amount of children living with a single mother that had never been married was at 7%, today it is at 48%. Some other startling statistics are nearly 41% of all American children are born out of wedlock and more than half will spend some portion of their childhood in never-formed or broken families according to CDC. The American Psychological Association stated: Between 1948 and 2001, the percentage of working age women employed or looking for work nearly doubledfrom less than 33 percent to more than 60 percent. Their increase in financial power made paternal financial support less necessary for some families. In tandem with the growing autonomy of women, related trends such as declining fertility, increasing rates of

divorce and remarriage, and childbirth outside of marriage have resulted in a transition from traditional to multiple undefined roles for many fathers. Todays fathers have started to take on roles vastly different from fathers of previous generations. In conjunction, women have started taking on different roles and responsibilities then they have in the past. In two income families, responsibilities are still divided. Womens work typically include dinner laundry, cleaning, etc. An article on HealthyChirldren.org stated One study found that working mothers average eighteen hours per week of housework, plus ten to fifteen hours per week of child care, while fathers average three hours of housework and two hours of child care per week. In addition to the above statement that article goes in to explain some other benefits to women working outside the home. Even though women that work outside of the home have more responsibilities many have reported benefits associated with their jobs. Higher self-esteem and being happy. This then can have an impact on the children at home. Many also report appreciating there time with their children more because they have less. Men that have working spouses reported to have more respect for them and fell less of a burden to provide for the family. This is a double edge sword though. Many women that work outside the home feel guilt that their children are being taken care of by someone else while working. Many believe that all of this had led to the demise of families. Women seeking for happiness and neglecting their responsibilities. A women must be free to choose her identity, role, and goals. This has made women come before the children. Feminists believe that no one should interfere with womens choices, desires, and ideals. Has this given women too much power to neglect the maternal instincts? Looking at all the other factors that have influenced families and roles with in the family, like media, technology, etc. the feminist movement stands out as having the most powerful impact to date.

As you can see there is a strong correlation to the decrease in traditional families and increase in divorce rates. Today in America 40-50% off all marriages end in divorce and 60% of all second marriages. An article by USU states: Researchers have identified the most common reasons people give for their divorces. A recent national survey79 found that the most common reason given for divorce was lack of commitment (73% said this was a major reason). Other significant reasons included too much arguing (56%), infidelity (55%), marrying too young (46%), unrealistic expectations (45%), lack of equality in the relationship (44%), lack of preparation for marriage (41%), and abuse (29%). (People often give more than one reason, so the percentages add up to more than 100%.) A recent survey of Utah adults found results similar to this national survey. It also stated that 70% of American believe that divorce, in general, is morally acceptable. On the contrary public polls showed that 43% of Americans agree that parents who have unsatisfactory marriage should stay together as long as there is no violence. To me this sounds silly. Okay so divorce is morally acceptable but you should try to work it out. Well Statistics show that most are trying to work it out or stay together. The divorce rate is so high. Much higher than any other nation., almost double to be exact. So how can we turn back? I dont think there is any going back. America needs some help in reevaluating what is important. Is your personal happiness the most important thing? What about your responsibility and duties? We need to look at how there might be a middle ground. You cant have your

cake and eat it too, but I believe we can eat part of the cake and save the rest. We need to realize that yes our happiness is important, but see your kids succeed and grow up with the moral and values you instilled in them also happiness. What about making marriage harder to get into or divorce hard to get out off? We have something that is incredible that some do get to enjoy in this country. We are taking advantage of this right. I think America would benefit from legalizing gay marriage. Hopefully, they can re instil that notion that marriage is lifelong commitment. We need something to help us get back on track. We can see the effects on the children and these children are our future. I believe divorce to be morally wrong. WHY? We made a vow, a commitment, and promise that we would take care of each other and our families. I have seen so many families and children torn apart because of divorce. It affects neighbors, relatives, coworkers, friends, family, and children. It negatively impacts the lives around them. This most the time is because the grass was greener on the other side. Is it worth it? American need to take a good long look and see what the media is portraying to society and how in the end it will affect us all. As for gender roles, I do see it as a benefit and a curse. I believe that we all just need to look at our values and reevaluate what we are doing. We can be happy but also fulfill our responsibilities and duties. Lets have our cake and eat it too!

Work Cited:
Castillo, M. Almost (2013, March 13th) Half of first babies in U.S. born to unwed mothers. Retrieved April 3rd, 2014, from http://www.cbsnews.com/ Doherty, W. H. How common is divorce and what are the reasons? Usu.edu Retrieved April 3rd, 2013, from http://www.divorce.usu.edu/files/uploads/Lesson3.pdf (2013, November 25Th) About Three in Four Parents Living with Children are Married, Census Bureau Reports. Census.gov. Retrieved April 3rd, 2014, from http://www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/families_households/cb13-199.html (2013, May 11th) Changing Family Roles. Healthychildren.org. Retrieved April 4th, 2013, from http://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/work-play/pages/Changing-Family-Roles.aspx The Changing Role of Modern day Father. Apa.org. Retrieved April 4th,2104, from https://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/changing-father.aspx?item=2#