Basics of Counselling :Part -1

In a five-part series I propose to write giving the basics of Counselling that could be built
into our own Counselling scenarios either at work , Christian Ministry or Outside
workplace.

DEFINITIONS OF COUNSELLING

Counselling may be defined as providing help and support for the client, creating a
climate of acceptance and assisting the client to explore, understand and act.

(a) Providing help and support, and an understanding listener for someone who is
concerned or perplexed.

(b) Creating a climate so that the client feels accepted, non-defensive, and able to talk
freely about himself and his feelings.

(c) Helping the client to gain clearer insight into himself and his situation so that he is
better able to help himself, and draw on his resources.

Counselling is therefore concerned with human relationships, either your relationship

with another person or persons.

ACTIVE LISTENING

Active Listening is giving the client our full and undivided attention. This is a learned
skill, it is not a natural attribute. It takes a lot of concentration and energy to fully focus
your attention to the client’s verbal expressions.

There are several ways that our listening skills can be developed. Basically, if we have a
reason to listen and therefore focus upon the clients then our listening will be more
effective. The more interested we become in the client’s story, the more the client will
want to share.

Listening prepares the counsellor for responding empathically to the client. In both
clinical and pastoral ministries approximately 90% of the time in counselling sessions is
spent in active listening.
Active listening gathers all the information that can be related to the problem or goals
presented by the client. We can listen for clues to the client’s emotional and intellectual
functioning. In pastoral counselling we also listen for the client’s spiritual functioning.
Another function that we listen to is the physical, ie energy level. The manner of telling
the story will either be flat (low energy level = depression), excited (high energy level =
elated) or boring (dull tone = listless) The tone of the clent’s presentation is therefore
extremely important.

An active listener listens to the themes of the client’s story. As the client’s story unfolds
recurring themes will surface. These themes may be persecution, frustration, anger,
unworthy, nobody listens. The main theme of the client’s story will occur more than the
associated themes.

The counsellor is therefore listening with an inner ear. He or she is listening not only to
the words of the story, but also to recurring patterns that make up the total picture. This
process takes time and the total picture will take several sessions to be fully appreciated.

Active listening must initially take in the basic interrogatives: who ?, what?, why?,
where?, how?

As every reporters knows, these questions must be answered before the basic structure of
the story can be told. These interrogatives are therefore extremely important. They are the
skeleton of the story. However, it is the tone, themes and expressions of the client that
puts the flesh on the dry bones. The skin that covers the flesh is the fine detail that the
client will share from time to time. This brings the body to life and enables the counsellor
to fully appreciate the whole picture.

Active listening is hard work that requires intensive concentration. We may hear what the
client is saying, but are we actively listening. This type of intensive listening also requires
recalling. Recalling involves both the recall of content and expression. When we recall
certain expressions of the client this should trigger off what the client said at that precise
moment. When the client leaves the office then recall in this manner enables you to write
down verbatim what the client said.

This week practice active listening with your colleagues at work or family members.
Listen for the six basic facts of the story. Listen to the tone and recurring themes. Listen
for the major theme that keeps recurring in the story. Listen for the fine detail. Also try
and recall the expressions of the story teller. This exercise should be practised
periodically throughout this learning.

Next week I shall deal with What Counselling is and What it is not with examples of
certain skilled and Unskilled responses.

Prof. Lakshman Madurasinghe, PhD