Emily Wagner Camille Pack English 2010 February 12, 2014 Decreasing Your Risk of Divorce Maybe its

because Im getting older, or maybe its because I am now divorced myself, but I feel like divorce is everywhere. Is it just my perception or is it actually statistically true that more marriages are ending in divorce? In The State of Our Unions 2011 it is pointed out that the divorce rate is nearly twice what it was in 1960, but has somewhat declined since 1980 when it was at its all time high (Wilcox, The State of Our Unions: Marriage in America 2011). While it is encouraging that the divorce rate is declining, some researchers refer to the fact that less people are getting married these days, which could account for the decreased divorce rate. Between 1960 and 2007 the number of cohabitating couples increased dramatically, from 439,000 to 6.4 million, while the percent of men who were married fell from 69% to 55% (Wilcox, The Evolution of Divorce). What happened to people getting married and living happily ever after? I look at my own grandparents, who have now been married over 65 years, and wonder what has changed. When I asked them what their secret was, they couldnt point to one specific thing. They just told me that things used to be different, divorce wasnt an option, and you just work things out. These days people seem to be less likely to want to work through the problems. While its hard to pinpoint exactly what has caused this dramatic shift in society, there are several causes that people tend to mention when their marriage falls apart. Studies have

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shown that there are also several factors that can increase your risk for divorce, which researchers have found tend to fall in line with the eventual causes for divorce. The three risk factors Id like to take a closer look at are education level, age at marriage, and marrying someone of another faith. Many of us know that getting a college education will help you personally and increase your ability to make money in the future. But did you know that the level of education you have reached could also affect your likelihood for divorce? In a report titled The Evolution of Divorce the author states: College-educated Americans have seen their divorce rates drop by about 30% since the early 1980s, whereas Americans without college degrees have seen their divorce rates increase by about 6%......Twenty years later [than the early 1970s] only 17% of collegeeducated couples who married in the early 1990s divorced in their first ten years of marriage; 36% of less educated couples who married in the early 1990s, however, divorced sometime in their first decade of marriage. (Wilcox, The Evolution of Divorce) According to these statistics, married couples who have received a college degree are about half as likely to divorce as those who have not received a degree. Could this be partially due to the fact that people who have a college degree typically have the capacity to earn more money? Researchers have estimated that individuals with annual incomes of more than $50,000 have a lower chance of divorce (compared to individuals with annual incomes less than $25,000) (Bramlett and Mosher). Some of the greatest stress I have experienced in my life has been related to money, and this was at a time when I was single. When you bring another person into the mix and possibly children as well, that stress would compound, adding strain to the

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relationship and the individuals in it. How many of the couples that you know fight about money? Finances are notorious for causing and aggravating divides in marriages. Money wont solve all the problems that you might encounter in a marriage, but being financially secure can help eliminate some of the stress you might feel that can lead to other problems. In Utah, where the population is largely LDS, the average age at marriage is the youngest in the nation 24.1 for women, and 26.2 for men. That is about three years younger than average for both (Davidson). Growing up in the LDS community, I felt a strong pressure to marry as soon as I possibly could. Most of my friends were married around the age of 21 and I felt that because I was not married by the time I turned 25 that there was something wrong with me. As I am now researching the causes and risk factors for divorce, it has become clear that marrying young may be an indicator that you are at a higher risk for divorce. Sociologist Paul Amato writes: We found that the delay in marriage was actually a good thing and it actually improved the average marital quality by a fair amount. Older marriages (30s vs. 20s) were more cohesive in the sense that they did things more often together as a couple. And couples who couples who married at older ages were less likely to report thinking about divorce or that their marriage was in trouble. (Amato, Booth and Johnson) There are many reasons that waiting until you are older to get married is a good idea. It gives you a chance to figure out who you are on your own as opposed to being identified as part of a couple and possibly growing apart as your personalities mature. It also gives you the opportunity to experience the world on your own. I feel that it is important to take the opportunity to move

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out of your parents home before getting married. The knowledge and experience you will gain from living on your own or with roommates will be greatly beneficial to you as you start a relationship and adjust to living with someone else. Having different religious affiliations or views than your spouse can also increase your risk of becoming divorced. When my ex-husband and I started dating, we had both been raised in the LDS faith, but had strayed from the teachings for a few years. As we were dating we both recommitted ourselves to the religion and were married in the temple. About a year and a half after we were married, he started making more and more excuses about why he couldnt come to church with me. He finally stopped going altogether. I was upset and hurt by this, I thought that we had come into the marriage on the same page and I didnt understand why he was changing the parameters. While this change in religious practices, was not the reason our marriage eventually fell apart, for many other people it is. In an article in the USA Today, Cathy Grossman states that 22% of U.S. households now have more than one faith under one roof.[and] divorce is three times more prevalent in interfaith families (Grossman). This trend of interfaith marriages rising as well as their increased likelihood of failure would help account for the rising divorce rates. It seems that the differences in faith start to magnify as couples begin to have children. Each parent wants to raise the child in their own faith and it can cause quite a bit of tension. Raising children and agreeing on parenting methods is hard enough without bringing the complicated issue of religion and God into it. Because every person and relationship is different, there is no way to accurately predict whether or not your marriage will stand the test of time. It is crucial to be aware of the challenges you will face and try to prepare yourself for them. Based on the information we have reviewed there are several things you can do to help yourself. After high school continue on

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with your education and attend college. You can kill two birds with one stone on this one by increasing your education level and also using it as an opportunity to move out of your parents house and be as independent as possible. During this time, you can also explore yourself and who you are as a person. This is an ideal time in your life to investigate new hobbies and interests. Decide for yourself what your religious views are and what your priorities in life are. In college you will find many people from different backgrounds with diverse interests. As you are looking for a spouse and making friends, try to learn something from everyone you make contact with. Every experience or interaction you have has the possibility of changing your life for the better.

Works Cited
Amato, Paul R. , et al. Alone Together: How Marrige in America is Changing. Harvard University Press, 2009. Bramlett, M. D. and W. D. Mosher. Cohabitation, marriage, divorce, and remarriage in the United States. Vital and Health Statistics, 23. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics, 2002. Davidson, Lee. "Census snapshot: Uthans again a 'peculiar people'." The Salt Lake Tribune 19 September 2013. Grossman, Cathy Lynn. "Same house, different faiths." USA Today 4 December 2002. Wilcox, W. Bradford. "The Evolution of Divorce." 2009. . The State of Our Unions: Marriage in America 2011. Charlottesville, VA: University of Virginia National Marriage Project, 2011.