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Xiuzhu Chen Ms. Rand 1102 1/20/2014 I was studying at the West Normal University in China three years ago. I was majoring in education. I really liked my major and I hoped to become a teacher when I graduated from my university. I graduated from my school in 2012. But my parents wanted me to study abroad at that time and they did not want me to find a job after graduation. They wanted me to study abroad because they hoped I could get a western education. But to me, I did not want to study abroad. I still remember the month of May, 2011. My parents told me they had already registered me for IELTS training courses. IELTS was an international English language testing system. It was for students who wanted to study in an English-speaking country. I was shocked because I never thought my parents would do this so quickly and they did without even telling me about it. I asked my parents Why do you wanted me to study abroad? I can still find a job in China! My mom answered You are still young and you do not understand what you really want in the future. We do not want to you to stay in here forever. So, your father and I think you should continue your education in America. To be able to study in the USA, the first step is to pass the IELTS. Then, you can apply to universities and book your ticket. My father said Zhuzhu ( my nickname in my family), you are 19 years old right now, and you are not a baby anymore. You have never been away from your family and your friends and you cannot depend on us forever. This time you should do something for yourself. I know you want to be a teacher. You can still
Comment [MR1]: What would you like the title to be for this essay?

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to be a teacher when you finishing your studying in America and come back home. You can get a lot of new experiences in USA,. mMy father said. I still could not understand these reasons and I shouted I can go to a graduate college here, why do I have to be in the U.S. to study and continue education? My father also became angry and his face turned into a serious face which made me scared. He told me, You do not understand about the society. This opportunity is very hard to get but you still do not understand your mom and me. I am so disappointed with you! I had no choice at that moment because I did not want to hurt my parents feeling. I told them I would take these training courses. I felt terrible because no one could understand me at that time. Even my parents pushed me to make a choice I did not want to make. One month later, I kept my promise to continue to be enrolled in the IELTS training courses. This class was not held in my hometown, but in another city. So, my parents had no way of checking whether I attended or not. I went to class everyday, but I did not focus on the material while I sat in class. Although I promised I would be there, I did not promise I would try my best to study. I felt so bored in the classroom and I did not want to do anything at that time. I looked outside. The sunshine, clouds and the city, everything seemed to be good expecting my mood. My mind was filled with job hunting when I graduated from my school. I was wondering about quitting this course. But I did not find where I should go. So, I still stayed the classroom until the last class. After finishing the training courses, I went to take the first test of IELTS. I got 5.5 and I did not surprise the grade at all. The overall grade of IELTS was 9. To apply to a university, the least grade should be 6. Obviously, I did not pass the test. My parents were extremely mad and they asked me how could I did not get 6 after taking the training courses. I did not want to lie to
Formatted: Indent: First line: 0.5" Comment [MR2]: Youre doing a good job with showing how your parents felt about the situation and the reasons they had for signing you up for the test.

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them, I answered I did not study the IELTS at all and I did not review it before the test. My parents were shocked because they did not believe I would do this thing. After a few seconds, my father lit a cigarette and asked me to sit on the sofa. He asked me a question, Do you know what you can do in your future? I thought a few minutes, and then answered, I really do not know. I am tired of studying and want to get a job. Thats it. My father gave me a smile and said, You will never far away from studying because studying is not only in books but also in your life. Even in your working time, you still need to study everyday. So, you should not be afraid of studying. You have never been to America and you can try to a new lifestyle. You are still young and you have a lot of chances to enjoy your life. But if you do not go outside to see the world, you will never know what you really want is. Traveling ten thousand miles is better than reading ten thousand books, and making many friends is better than reading ten thousand books. At night, I thought deeply in my fathers words, but I still had no clue because of my bad mood. In the next day, my cousin came to my home. I told these things to her and hope she could give me some suggestions. She said, Zhuzhu, you are always a brave girl. I cannot tell you that you should go there or not. But I hope you can try it first. If you like it, you can choose to study in here. If you cannot adapt to a different life, you can still come back home. Then, you can tell your parents you have already this experience, but you do not like it at all. At that time, I think your parents will understand you. You are right. I can try it first. How stupid am I. Thanks, sis. I hugged my cousin. At that moment, I did not After thirty days review, I took IELTS test again in September and I got 6. My parents were very happy because I could apply to universities right now. But I was not so much excited. I still had a kind of worry. Then, I started to apply to universities. In October, I got the letter of
Comment [MR4]: It looks like theres more to this sentence. Its really interesting to see how your cousin is giving you advice. Shes telling you something similar to your parents, but her approach is very different, and more effective for you. Comment [MR3]: What he is saying here is really interesting. What do you think about what he told youthat you should be a lifelong learner?

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admission and I-20 which was offered for international students to get visa. I went to consulate of American to get my F-1 visa. Finally, I got my visa without a hitch. I was flying to America on January 4th, 2012. So, I have been here for two years. I have experienced many different situations in here. When I chose to studying abroad, I know everything would be different.

Assignment #1 Evaluation

Guidelines: 10/10 Organization: 30/30 The paper is well-organized in chronological order. The transitions are easy to followgood job here! Development: 35 /40 Overall, the strength in the writing is your use of dialogue. I can get a good sense of your parents personalities and your cousins as well. You did a good job there. The only major thing I would recommend would be to work on the conclusion a bit. You are skipping over some information, and the conclusion itself is very brief, so its difficult to tell how you got to Charlotte, and how you feel about your parents pushing you to attend college in the US. How did you decide where to go, and do you feel you made the right choice? Critical Thinking: 18/20

Chen 5 Readability: -1 for each error, max 15: -4 (overall, just a few minor errors, mostly with punctuation and verb usage)

Total: 89