Mona Kiani Samimi Drs.

Lindsey Spring 2014 My Cultural Autobiography I was born on September 17, 1985 in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. My mom had travelled to Canada from California where most of her family was to have some support while giving birth to me. My father was not present at my birth but joined us shortly thereafter. After just a few short months, I was brought to California, where I spent my formative years. I was the second child of two for my mother and four for my father. When I was 2 years old, my parents got divorced and my dad remarried a woman from Japan. They had two more children together so I had the experience of growing up as the youngest while with my mom and second to oldest while with my dad. My earliest memories of language were Farsi. I grew up speaking Farsi to my parents and when they split, my mom was the only to reinforce my native language. When I entered school, I started to learn English and picked it up very quickly. I remember coming home and slowly transitioning to English with my parents. For my Dad, my transition to English was easily accepted because as soon as he married my step-mom, he only spoke to me in English so that she wouldnt feel left out. For my mom, my speaking English was devastating. She would speak to me in Farsi and I would reply to her in English. She struggled to keep my Farsi alive as English quickly took over. English was just easier in every sense. It was the language on TV, at school, with friends, and at my Dads home. Until college, I continued to be embarrassed of my parents thick Persian accents. I felt that people would assume they were uneducated and lower class, and those assumptions would be projected onto me. At parent teacher conferences, I was worried if my parents would sound unintelligent because of the way they spoke. Many times, Id interject

as the proper-English-speaking person and at restaurants, I would do the speaking to keep my parents accents concealed. Not until I went to University and met other Persian Americans did I fully appreciate that I grew up bilingual. Looking back, I have my moms perseverance to thank for the Farsi I have retained. I became aware of race for the first time probably in Kindergarten. In my class photo, I am only one of two Brown people in a sea of blond-haired, blue-eyed, Caucasian peers. I was always very different from my peers and excluded from the dominant group. I was the other in most contexts and felt inferior because of it. I was different because of the language I spoke at home, the food Id bring to school, and the Anglo-Saxon cultural nuances that I didnt understand. Furthermore, when my parents would say American, they were referring to White Americans. I would angrily say back: But Im American! When I switched schools in the second grade, my teacher automatically put me in ESL because of the color of my skin and because she heard my mom and I converse in Farsi. My teacher assumed I couldnt speak English, even though I was fluent. When I realized the discrimination I was facing, I quickly demanded to be switched out and didnt want all the stigmas that came with being put in ESL. I learned from then on, that I would have to work twice as hard as my White peers to prove to my teachers that I am a very capable student. I knew I would be judged solely because of my appearance. Like race, I remember becoming aware of the inequalities of the genders early in Elementary School as well. I was always very active and enjoyed playing sports. At recess time, I would go out to the soccer field or basketball field to play with the other kids, only to find that only the boys played and they did not easily accept girls on their turf. After some bargaining,

they allowed me to play with them, but they NEVER passed me the ball. I learned then, that I would always have to fight for my rights to be included in the game. Unlike gender, my identity of social class was a bit perplexing. I grew up in two social classes. Since my parents were divorced, I went back and forth between their homes. On Mondays, I was with my mom. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I was at my dads. On Thursdays, I was with my mom. On Fridays and weekends, I switched every other. My mom is a surgical technician. She made very little money but worked very hard to make it. She took on extra shifts any of the days she didnt have custody of my sister and I and was very careful with her spending. Growing up at her house, we only got to shop at garage sales and thrift stores. The occasional item purchased at Wal-Mart was like gold to us. Conversely, at my dads home, life was quite different. My dad is a dentist and made a decent living. Also, my step mom had very expensive taste, so we shopped where shed take us. Our clothes at my dads home were from nowhere less than Nordstrom. This dichotomous life made it very confusing to place myself in a social class. One of the few cultural identities that I have been part of the dominant group is sexual orientation. I became aware of the LGBT community in high school where I had several gay friends. I was well aware of the harassment they endured, but definitely not culturally proficient in advocating for their community and their deserved rights. Eventually, my knowledge about their struggles augmented and my understanding of my duty to advocate for their community was made clear. When I had my first homosexual student, I made my stance known and worked on creating a safe space for all students. I did what I could to empower those students to have a voice and to be proud of who they were. Furthermore, through the JDP program, I have been broadening my understanding of exactly how sexual orientation is viewed in our society and how

our social consciousness is evolving. Becoming friends with Morgan has helped me get one step closer to cultural proficiency with regards to sexual orientation. He has helped me see the perspective as a gay adult and his journey to embrace who he is. He has taught me a lot about LGBT culture and has helped me take note of the gender stereotypes Ive been subjected to my whole life. As I reflect on the various experiences in my life that helped me become aware of these various cultural groups, I can begin the inside-out process discussed by Drs. Delores and Randall Lindsey. I can identify which identities I feel part of the privileged or dominant group and which identities have caused me to be marginalized. Through the journey of writing my cultural autobiography, I have learned that my acute awareness about the different cultural groups correlate with the identities which Ive had negative experiences throughout my life (i.e. gender, race, and faith). For the identities which I have been part of the dominant group (i.e. sexual orientation), and had mostly positive experiences, I have enjoyed such privilege and been blind, to some degree, to the suffering and discrimination many have endured. This process has forced me to confront myself with my own ignorance and made me realize that I have been so well served by current policies and practices that [I] view [my] experiences as normative and believe it is incumbent on others to work harder, just as I have had to! (Terrell & Lindsey, 2009, p.31). Similarly, it has liberated years of pent up resentment and feelings of inferiority for the traumatic experiences of being part of the non-dominant groups. This process validated those emotions and allowed me to see them in a socio-cultural context to better understand the injustices I endured and continue to endure. Through the passion that builds from coming face to face with our cultural identities and our understanding of the cultural identities of others, I can begin to become a culturally proficient leader. This journey informs my next steps which are outlined in

my leadership plan. My goals focus on learning more about the cultural identities which Ive had privilege (i.e. sexual orientation and ableness), advocating for their equal treatment, and achieving an environment where all cultures are valued and empowered. As such, I can continue to be a part of the healing process our world is in dire need of. With more culturally proficient leaders, we can help others and ourselves, look inside, and work outward to create change in our schools and communities, but most importantly, in our hearts.

References Terrell, R.D., & Lindsey, R.B. (2009). Culturally proficient leadership: The personal journey begins within. Thousand Oaks, CA: Corwin Press.