Kiersten Slade

English 2010
Saturdays 11:30 a.m. - 2:20 p.m.
When Hes There
Each night I come home from work and throw my bag in my room. I hang up my keys,
take off my heels, and find my sister to get her ready for dance. My dad comes home at 5:30
p.m., and we clean the house at 5:00 so that its done right when he comes home. I started
thinking, what would my house be like if I didnt have my dad? Several people dont have dads;
what are their lives like compared to mine? Do they have a harder time with things because hes
not there? What influence does my dad have in my life that I dont realize?
A dad is one of the biggest teachers in a childs life. Hes by their side and teaches them
the ropes. According to fatherhood.gov, in 2012 there were 70.1 million fathers in the United
States, 1.96 million were single fathers, and 16% of custodial single parents were men. A
fathers involvement is crucial to children and their development, whether its physical,
emotional, or mental.
There have been several studies based off a fathers relationship to the childs weight. In
an Australian national population study researched in 2007, they found that only a fathers
parenting method increased the childs risk of being overweight. If the dad was more active, the
childs BMI reflected that. If he wasnt, the childs BMI reflected that as well. The mothers
parenting methods didnt affect the childs BMI at all. I found this information to be quite
interesting. I wonder if emotional and mental states of mind are more influenced by the motherly
figure or if those would be more influenced by the father figure as well. Another study done by
Davison and Birch at Pennsylvania State University, found that a daughters BMI could be
predicted by the fathers diet and activity level. When the fathers BMI rose, so did the
daughters. The father/daughter study was very fascinating. Girls can be just as athletic and
active as guys, but the male had a more influential impact on the child. I like to go to the gym
and I know a lot of the people that go. Several of the guys bring their sons and their sons are
always wanting to lift as much as their dad. Ive noticed when Im out at the store and I see an
overweight man, more often than not, I see an overweight child close behind.
As many have predicted and tested, adolescents without a fatherhood figure or influence
are more likely to commit a crime and end up incarcerated, than those that do have a father
figure. There are two studies that have gone a little deeper that had some surprising statistics. In
2002, the Department of Justice surveyed 7,000 inmates. The survey revealed that 39% of
inmates were from mother-only households. 46% of inmates had a formerly incarcerated family
member and about 1/5
th
of them had a father that had served time. Knoester and Hayne studied
the risk of violence in neighborhoods in 2005. They found that if there are fewer fathers in a
neighborhood, the more crimes there will be. The more fathers there are, the less crimes there
were. I think a lot of us know that our parents would be very disappointed to find out we ended
up being the bad kid on the block. I dont like people to be disappointed in me so I do my best to
stay out of trouble.
The government has spent thousands of dollars endorsing commercials to encourage
parents to discuss underage drinking and drug use with their children. When clear rules are set, it
helps the child understand what is expected of them. John P. Hoffman found that children who
dont live with their mom and dad have a higher use of drugs. Its understandable because
theres a greater chance of the child being left alone and being able to experiment. Another study
was done with African American teens. They found that girls used drugs for social purposes and
boys used drugs due to a lack of father figure. I thought it was interesting that the girls only used
the drugs when they were around friends, and that their relationship with their fathers didnt
affect their drug usage at all. I wondered if the results would be the same with all races.
My dad is constantly encouraging my siblings and me to do well in our education. Hes a
school teacher himself, so he can tell when we really are giving it our best or when were making
excuses. A study done by Nord and West found that the more involved a father is in a childs
schooling, the higher the likelihood that the student will get As. It didnt matter if it was the
childs biological dad, step dad, or a single dad. I found this study appealing because this was the
first one where it didnt matter what the relation of the father was to the child, just as long as
there was a father figure present and encouraging the child, the child was more likely to succeed.
I dont think any of us realize how much of an impact our dads have in our lives. When I
think about it, hes just my dad. Hes the guy I joke around with, he races me on the treadmill, he
complains that my showers are too long, and he tells me to go to bed and turn the lights off if its
past 11 oclock. What I dont realize is how great of a dad he really is. He listens to me talk for
hours. I know he doesnt want to know every detail, but he listens and is genuinely interested.
When I come home from the store, he mutes the T.V. and watches as I show him what I got and
how much of a deal I ended up buying it for.
He gets mad at me when Im running late for work in the mornings. I get annoyed
because I already know Im late and I dont need him to tell me. Hes teaching me that its
important to work hard at what I do, to put in every effort I have to make it great. If Im going on
a date and my outfit is less than he is comfortable with, he sends me right back to my room to
change. I know Im not allowed to leave until he uncrosses his arms. Its a small sign of
approval, but I know exactly when Ive gotten it. It has taught me the importance of respecting
myself and my body. When I am going out on a Friday night with friends, he always gives me
that look that says, Kiersten. Be smart. Dont do anything stupid. He knows Im older and he
doesnt have as big of a say as he used to, but he can make sure that I still have a good head on
my shoulders and am striving to be the best I can be.







Works Sited Page
National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse. National Responsible Fatherhood
Clearinghouse. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, n.d. Web.14 Feb. 2014.

Wake, M., Nicholson, J.M., Hardy, P., & Smith, K. (2007). Preschooler obesity and parenting
styles of mothers of mothers and fathers: Australian national population study, Pediatrics,
12, 1520-1527.

Davison KK, Birch LL. Child and parent characteristics as predictors of change in girls body
mass index. Department of Human Development and Family Studies, The Pennsylvania
State University

Osborne, C., & McLanahan, S. (2007). Partnership instability and child well-being. Journal of
Marriage and Family, 69, 1065-1083

James, Doris J. Profile of Jail Inmates, 2002. (NCJ201932) Bureau of Justice Statistics Special
Report, Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, July 2004.

Knoester, C., & Hayne, D. A. (2005). Community context, social integration into family, and
youth violence. Journal of Marriage and Family, 67, 767-780.

Hoffman, John P. The Community Context of Family Structure and Adolescent Drug Use.
Journal of Marriage and Family 64 (May 2002): 314-330.

Mandara, J., & Murray, C. B. (2006). Fathers absence and African American adolescent drug
use. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 46, 1-12

Nord, Christine Winquist, and Jerry West. Fathers and Mothers Involvement in Their
Childrens Schools by Family Type and Resident Status. (NCES 2001-032). Washington,
D. C.: U. S. Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics, 2001.