10 Rules of Anal Sex by Jack Morin

Jack Morin, PhD, a San Francisco sex therapist and researcher, is the author of Anal
Pleasure and ealth!
Anal "roticis# is surrounded by a po$erful taboo! %et #illions of #en and $o#en &
strai'ht, 'ay and bisexual & are
experi#entin' $ith anal sex! (he anus, richly endo$ed $ith ner)e endin's and
interconnected $ith the #ain pel)ic
#uscles, is the closest ero'enous nei'hbor of the 'enitals and contracts rhyth#ically
durin' or'as#! (hirty&fi)e years
a'o, *insey stated that the anal re'ion had erotic si'nificance for about half of the
population! +n a sur)ey of 100,000
Playboy readers, ,- percent of the #en and .1 percent of the $o#en ad#itted to
ha)in' tried anal intercourse!
%et the anal taboo inhibits #ost people fro# thinkin', talkin' and learnin' about the
sexual use of the anus! /isted here
are the ten thin's #ost #en and $o#en still do not kno$ about anal sex!
1! Anal intercourse is the least practiced for# of anal sex!
(here are #any $ays to en0oy the anus erotically! (he #ost co##on techni1ues
include touchin' the anal openin' $hile
#asturbatin' or sti#ulatin' a partner2s anus durin' intercourse or oral sex!
So#e people en0oy the sensation of a fin'er & their o$n or a lo)er2s & insinuated into
their anal openin' and 'ently
rotated! 3thers #ay prefer the insertion of a dildo or )ibrator beyond the anal openin'
and short anal canal into the
lar'er rectu#! Many #en, includin' heterosexuals, prefer this for# of penetration!
3ral&anal lo)e#akin' is popularly kno$n as ri##in'! (he )ery idea dis'usts so#e
people! 3thers en0oy perfor#in' it
or allo$in' the#sel)es to be probed in this special $ay!
4! Anal sti#ulation, includin' intercourse, is not painful if done properly!
(he belief that anal sti#ulation, especially intercourse, has to hurt is a persistent and
dan'erous #yth! Just as pain
any$here in the body indicates that so#ethin' is $ron', so is the sa#e true of the
anal area! 5ith its hi'h concentration
of ner)e endin's, the anus can produce extre#e a'ony $hen it is #istreated! %et it
can be a source of 'reat pleasure!
5hen a fin'er, ob0ect or penis is introduced into the anus, the anal #uscles 'o into
spas#, as if fi'htin' off an in)asion!
Pain $ill result if the partners do not $ait for these #uscles to relax! 6nder sufficient
stress they $ill e)entually collapse
and the pain subside, unless further da#a'e is done! 7ut, any 2pleasure2 afforded fro#
this kind of acti)ity deri)es #ostly
fro# the absence of disco#fort!
Maxi#u# anal pleasure re1uires the eli#ination of all pain or physical trau#a fro#
the anal experience! Self&protection
on the part of the passi)e partner in)ol)es bein' ready to say 8no8 until he or she is
ready to proceed! Readiness is a
co#bination of physical relaxation, usually helped alon' by plenty of leisurely anal
touchin', and desire!
3ccasionally the anal #uscles are relaxes, but the passi)e partner is still not in the
#ood! Sti#ulation should #ount only
in proportion to the de'ree of recepti)ity!
9! Anal sex can be en0oyed e)en if it has been consistently unco#fortable in the past!
Sufficient desire alone does not necessarily 'uarantee pleasurable anal sex! :or is an
unco#fortable pre)ious
experience al$ays the reason for a lack of interest in or desire for anal sex!
;hronic anal tension is the #ost co##on cause of anal disco#fort durin' sex!
e#orrhoids and constipation are usually
a si'n of this condition! (ension can be relie)ed by touchin' the anus and beco#in'
#ore fa#iliar $ith it! An ideal ti#e
to explore the anal openin' is $hile takin' a sho$er or bath! Deep breathin' also
affects the anal #uscles! (ensin' the
anus and the lettin' 'o in another $ay of learnin' to relax it! Anyone $ho en0oys
#asturbation #i'ht $ant to experi#ent
$ith so#e for# of anal sti#ulation, thou'h he or she should stop if any disco#fort
occurs!
For #any people the turnin' point in anal sex is $hen they allo$ a partner to #assa'e
the anus $ith the understandin'
that intercourse $ill not be atte#pted! (hen the recipient of anal caresses can
concentrate solely on the pleasure that this
ero'enous <one is capable of 'eneratin'!
,! ($o #uscle rin's called sphincters surround the anal openin'! "ach functions
independently!
+f you insert a fin'er about one half&inch into your anus and press your fin'ertip
a'ainst the side, you can clearly feel the
t$o sphincter #uscles! (here is less than a 1uarter&inch bet$een the#! (he external
sphincter is controlled by the
central ner)ous syste# & 0ust like the #uscles of the hand, for exa#ple! %ou can
readily tense and relax this sphincter
$hene)er you $ant!
(he internal sphincter is 1uite different! (his #uscle is controlled by the in)oluntary
or autono#ic part of the ner)ous
syste#, $hich 'o)erns such functions as heartbeat and stress response!
(he internal sphincter reflects and responds to fear and anxiety durin' anal sex! +t $ill
cause the anus to tense up
auto#atically e)en if the passi)e partner is tryin' to relax! (hus, precautions about
safety and co#fort are essential here!
")en if a person does feel co#fortable durin' anal sex, he or she #ay still need to
learn )oluntary control o)er his or her
internal sphincter in order to relax it at $ill! Doin' so re1uires re'ularly insertin' a
fin'er, perhaps in the sho$er each
day, and feelin' the internal sphincter! (he #uscle chan'es spontaneously and in
response to beha)ior! +n this instance,
si#ply payin' attention is #ore i#portant than tryin' to relax! Anyone can 'radually
learn to control the internal
sphincter at $ill!
=! Anal sti#ulation pro)ides #any kinds of pleasure
(he hi'hest concentration of ner)e endin's is around the anal openin' itself! A fin'er
can focus on the# especially
effecti)ely! 5hen an ob0ect or penis is inserted beyond the anal openin' into the
rectu#, other pleasures are in)ol)ed!
(he outer portion of the rectu#, like the )a'ina, has se)eral ner)e endin's! (he inner
portion responds #ostly to
pressure!
So#e people en0oy the feelin's of pressure and fullness once they understand that
these sensations do not presa'e an
i#pendin' bo$el #o)e#ent! Rectal pressure is especially i#portant to enthusiasts of
8fistin',8 a for# of anal sex in
$hich se)eral fin'ers or e)en the entire hand and forear# are inserted into the rectu#
and so#eti#es into the lo$er
colon!
+n #en, the prostate & $hich is 0ust beyond the rectal $all, a fe$ inches in, to$ards
the front of the body & can be a
source of pleasure $hen #assa'ed by a fin'er, an ob0ect, or a penis! Also, the lo$er
end of the penis, or 8bulb,8 is near
the anal openin' openin'! +t is sti#ulated indirectly by #ost types of anal sex!
Anal pleasure can be psycholo'ical as $ell as physical! (he anal taboo adds to the
thrill of the forbidden! (he #ost
co##on anti&anal #essa'e >it2s dirty?@ so#eti#es returns as a source of raunchy,
slea<y excite#ent! Ri##in' enthusiasts
#ay en0oy the feelin' that they are bein' dis'ustin'ly & and deli'htfully & per)erse!
3ther people re'ard the anus as a
secret, special place! Sharin' it $ith a partner is an act of openness and 'i)in'!
.! Anal sti#ulation can lead to or'as#
A #inority of #en and $o#en can respond or'as#ically to anal sex $ithout direct
'enital sti#ulation! 5o#en probably
do so throu'h pel)ic #uscle contractions & and a s#all #inority e)en thou'h the sheer
excite#ent of bein' anally
penetrated! 5hen #en experience an or'as# fro# anal sti#ulation, they tend to focus
on the prostate! :o doubt they
are also respondin' to indirect sti#ulation of the penile bulb!
3r'as#s fro# anal sti#ulation are #ost likely to occur $hen the participants beco#e
thorou'hly absorbed in their
sensations and fantasies! An al#ost certain $ay to pre)ent such an or'as# is to be
beco#e deter#ined to ha)e one!
Seekin' an anal or'as# $ill create ne$ pressures and disrupt the pleasure!
+t #ust be re#e#bered that #ost people re1uire direct 'enital sti#ulation in order to
cli#ax! 3n the other hand, a fe$
people ha)e or'as#s only $ith anal sti#ulation!
-! Diet contributes to the en0oy#ent of anal sex
Re'ular bo$el #o)e#ents are the #a0or function of the anus and rectu#! (here #ust
be sufficient fiber in a person2s
diet to #ake his or her feces soft, bulky and $ell for#ed! (his allo$s a bo$el
#o)e#ent to be produced $ithout force
or effort! Forced e)acuations irritate anal tissues, causin' disco#fort and addin' to
#uscular tensions! Fresh fruits,
)e'etables, $hole 'rains or unprocessed bran are i#portant sources of fiber!
A! Different rules of hy'iene apply to the )a'ina and rectu#
Since intercourse can be )a'inal or rectal, #any people assu#e the the sa#e rules
apply for the penetration of the
)a'ina and rectu#! Althou'h both are lined $ith soft tissue and are capable of
expandin', they are radically dissi#ilar!
(he rectu# is not strai'ht! After the short anal canal $hich connects the anal openin'
to the rectu#, the rectu# tilts
to$ard the front of the body! A fe$ inches in, it cur)es back & so#eti#es as #uch as
B0 de'rees! (hen, after a fe$
#ore inches, it s$oops to$ard the front of the body once a'ain! A person can learn
about the shape of his or her
rectu# by 'ently insertin' a soft ob0ect, tryin' different an'les and body positions
and concentratin' on ho$ it feels!
Make sure the ob0ect has a flared base so that if you loose your 'rip, it $on2t slip into
the rectu# and beco#e
irretrie)able!
(he rectu# does not produce lubrication like the )a'ina but only a s#all a#ount of
#ucus! (herefore, rectal penetration
al$ays re1uires a lubricant! ;he#ical additi)es should be a)oided! 5ater&based
lubricants are latex&co#patible!
(he #ain function of the rectu# is to act as a passa'e$ay for feces! 7ut feces are not
nor#ally stored in the rectu#
except 0ust prior to a bo$el #o)e#ent! %et s#all a#ounts #ay re#ain in the rectu#,
especially if the feces are not $ell
for#ed! Anal douchin' before lo)e#akin' $ill help so#e people especially
concerned $ith cleanliness to relax! For
others the idea of dirtiness hei'htens the 0oy of the forbiddenC for the#, douchin' is
anti&erotic!
B! Anal intercourse is not necessarily an act of do#inance and sub#ission!
(he top&botto# i#a'ery associated $ith anal intercourse is $idespread! :o doubt the
belief that anal sex has to hurt
contributes to this notion! And in fact so#e people are intensely excited by top&
botto# fantasies about anal sex! (he
thou'ht that they are sub#ittin' to such a de'radin' act is a terrific thrill! o$e)er,
actual, not fantasi<ed, anal pain can
lead to trouble!
For others, the en0oy#ent of anal sex is inhibited by top&botto# i#a'ery! (he idea of
surrenderin' control, and perhaps
sub#ittin' to hu#iliation, causes i##ediate, protecti)e tensin' of the anal #uscles!
(hese indi)iduals are #ore likely to
relax and en0oy the#sel)es if they can learn to re'ard anal sex as pleasurable rather
than as an expression of po$er!
10! Anal sex can be perfectly safe, e)en beneficial!
(he taboo a'ainst anal eroticis# is perpetuated by the al#ost uni)ersal belief a#on'
physicians that anal sex is ine)itably
dan'erous! :o physical in0ury fro# anal sti#ulation results if both partners refuse to
tolerate pain, ne)er use force and
a)oid the use of dru's!
All the other risks center on sexually trans#itted diseases! "ach of the co##on S(Ds
& 'onorrhea, syphilis, herpes &
can affect the anus! +ntestinal parasites, bacteria or tiny bu's are usually passed alon'
$hen fecal #atter finds its $ay
into so#eone2s #outh or )a'ina, #ost likely throu'h ri##in'!
A+DS has co#plicated the #atter! (he +D )irus can pass fro# the se#en or blood of
an infected person to the
bloodstrea# of a partner throu'h a tiny break in the rectal tissue durin' anal
intercourse!
(o a)oid this risk, anal intercourse and ri##in' should not be practiced casually!
(hose $ho do en0oy anal intercourse
should al$ays use a condo#! Ri##in' should al$ays be acco#plished by a latex
barrier! 3f course, in a #ono'a#ous
relationship $ith t$o healthy people, the risk of disease trans#itted anally is reduced!
(housands of #en and $o#en $ith chronic anal #edical proble#s ha)e restored
their anal health by challen'in' their
ne'ati)e attitudes! (his approach is indispensable for full erotic en0oy#ent of the
anus!