Underwater Birth: The Morbid

Alternative
by Theresa Jones
FILE
TIME SUBMITTED 22-APR-2014 08:48PM
SUBMISSION ID 419602956
WORD COUNT 1531
CHARACTER COUNT 7680
MOODLE_TEMP_TURNITINTOOL_402464315._17009_1398224877_11140
6.DOCX (23.04K)
strong intro!
this is a tragic
case, and you've
done an
excellent job
deciding when to
paraphrase and
when to quote.
can you tell us
some details
from Simpsons'
studies? what
"benefits" was
she studying?
repetition
I think you can add this to a previous P--
maybe divide Ps into studies of benefits
and studies of problems?
define
FINAL GRADE
82/100
Underwater Birth: The Morbid Alternative
GRADEMARK REPORT
GENERAL COMMENTS
Instructor
This paper starts out wonderfully, Theresa!
You'll want to address the repetition after the first half,
though. Try dividing up your "problems" and "benefits"
and developing the data/evidence further. This may help
you avoid repetition.
PAGE 1
Text Comment. strong intro!
PAGE 2
Text Comment. this is a tragic case, and you've done an excellent job deciding when to
paraphrase and when to quote.
PAGE 3
Text Comment. can you tell us some details from Simpsons' studies? what "benefits" was she
studying?
Text Comment. repetition
Text Comment. I think you can add this to a previous P--maybe divide Ps into studies of benefits
and studies of problems?
PAGE 4
PAGE 5
Text Comment. define
PAGE 6
RUBRIC: 301 ARG ESSAY RUBRIC
RHETORIC
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
DEVELOPING
PROFICIENT
ADVANCED
SOURCES
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
DEVELOPING
PROFICIENT
ADVANCED
BALANC ARG
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
DEVELOPING

Proficient
Write for a specific audience and purpose.
Audience's needs are often not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and language
needs adjustment for the audience. Purpose isn't clear or achieved.
Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes defining necessary terms and ideas
and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose may be unclear at times, and it may not
be achieved convincingly.
Usually shows attention to audience's needs, defining necessary terms and ideas and using
audience-appropriate language. Purpose may be implied, but it's clear and achieved.
Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, defining necessary terms and ideas and
using audience-appropriate language. Purpose is clear and achieved with style.
Proficient
Find, evaluate, select, synthesize, organize, ethically cite, and present information from a variety of sources
appropriate to their disciplines.
Omits or uses incorrectly MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and
works cited list. Drops quotations and ideas into text without introducing source. Frequently
uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources.
A few errors in MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and works cited
list. Often includes sources without introduction in cases when introduction is necessary.
Sometimes uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources.
Correctly uses MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and works cited
list. Usually introduces each source fully (as necessary)reader knows who did the
research or communicating, for whom, and why. Use of sources is usually relevant and
persuasive.
Correctly uses MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and works cited
list. Introduces each source fully (as necessary)reader knows who did the research or
communicating, for whom, and why. Use of sources is always relevant and persuasive.
Developing
Compare, contrast, and synthesize carefully and objectively the relative merits of alternative or opposing
arguments, assumptions, and cultural values.
Fails to consider the relative merits of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and
cultural values.
Attempts to compare, contrast, and synthesize the relative merits of alternative or opposing
arguments, assumptions, and cultural values, but may lack objectivity or thoroughness in
the comparison.
PROFICIENT
ADVANCED
ORGANIZATION
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
DEVELOPING
PROFICIENT
ADVANCED
PERSUASION
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
DEVELOPING
PROFICIENT
ADVANCED
LANGUAGE
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
DEVELOPING
PROFICIENT
ADVANCED
Compares, contrasts, and synthesizes the relative merits of alternative or opposing
arguments, assumptions, and cultural values.
Compares, contrasts, and synthesizes carefully, objectively, and insightfully the relative
merits of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values.
Proficient
Organize ones thoughts to address a rhetorical situation.
Organizational devices (thesis, topic sentences, transitions) may be absent, unrelated to the
prompt, or illogically connected. Ps are usually not unified or organized.
Organizational devices (thesis, topic sentences, transitions) fit the prompt, but may be
vague, too broad, or inconsistenly or illogically linked. Ps may not be unified.
Clear, specific organizational devices (thesis, topic sentences, transitions) fit the prompt
and tie ideas together adequately.
Clear, specific organizational devices (thesis, topic sentences, transitions) fit the prompt
and tie ideas together logically and seamlessly.
Developing
Communicate ones thoughts clearly and persuasively to address a rhetorical situation.
Inadequate, inappropriate, or irrelevant reasoning and evidence.
Over uses or under-analyzes evidence. May omit reasoning or include logical errors. May
include some irrelevant or unpersuasive evidence.
Usually supports the thesis and paragraph claims with credible, relevant, thorough, logical
reasoning and analyzed evidence.
Supports the thesis and paragraph claims with relevant, thorough, logical, and insightful
reasoning and analyzed evidence.
Advanced
Recognize, evaluate, and employ the features and contexts of language that express and influence meaning and
that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural differences.
Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability.
Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability or otherwise distract from
meaning.
Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are few and do not distract from meaning.
Outstanding control of language, including effective diction and sentence variety.
DESIGN
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
DEVELOPING
PROFICIENT
ADVANCED
Proficient
Recognize, evaluate, and employ the features and contexts of design that express and influence meaning and that
demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural differences.
Tone and/or design usually suggest/s an absence of awareness of audience and/or generic
conventions.
Tone and/or design are/is sometimes inappropriate or unconventional.
Appropriate tone and design conform to assigned audience and genre.
Sophisticated tone and design engage reader and conform to assigned audience and genre.