Bailey Spears 1

Inquiry Question:
How do you build trusting and caring relationships with all of your students and parents
inside and outside of the classroom?
!ersonal "arrati#e:
$s a future teacher% it is pertinent for me to build relationships of trust with my students& I
belie#e that ha#ing a trusting relationship with all students in the classroom forms the basis for
academic learning& If students do not trust the teacher% I do not thin' the students belie#e that the
teacher is on their side% instead% their enemy& "ot only do teachers need to build relationships
with their students% it is essential for me to build relationships with my students( families% too&
!arents need to feel at ease when they drop their children off at school% not worried about what is
going to happen to their children while they are there& )eachers must ta'e on the tas' of building
those relationships with the students and parents to pro#ide the connectedness needed to ha#e a
classroom full of learning& I 'now that it is required of me to build these relationships% but my
question is how do I build these relationships% e#en for those students who do not trust anybody?
*rom personal e+perience% I ha#e seen those who ha#e earned the teacher(s trust% and
those who ha#e not& Howe#er% I ha#e a different outloo' on teaching& It is my ,ob% as the teacher%
to build trusting relationships with my students% not to belie#e that my students should try to
build trust with me& $s I see it% e#erybody has my trust% until they lose it& -nce students lose my
trust% it is their turn to earn bac' my trust&
In classrooms today% I find myself seeing teachers who want to be the enemy& )hey
want to be superior to their students and ha#e no input from their students& I% as a future teacher%
will ma'e it a priority to not let myself be superior% but rather be on the same le#el as my
students& I want my students to feel li'e they can trust me& )o me% when a student feels safe in the
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classroom% it is then% and only then% that students are able to listen to the teacher% and pro#ide the
best classroom&
)here are so many different reasons why it may be hard for students to trust their
teachers& )utoring at an inner city school% I ha#e seen many reasons why students ha#e a hard
time trusting anybody% especially a teacher& .hile I was tutoring% I had students whose mom and
dad were in ,ail% saw their family members shot% fought because they wouldn(t gi#e somebody
their money% selling drugs for their uncle so he would not hurt him% and many more stories& I
figured out why it was so important to build trusting relationships with students% not e+pect
students to trust me& )hroughout their li#es% some of the ones they should ha#e been able to trust%
their family% had failed them& It is my ,ob% as their teacher% to do e#erything I possibly can to earn
my students trust% when they ha#e been let down so many times before&
.hen I thin' about students I ha#e tutored% I thin' about my time at school& )hroughout
my years at school% I reali/ed that in those classrooms where the teachers did not trust me% I
learned a lot less than when the teachers showed they trusted me and I% in return% trusted them& I
felt li'e those teachers who trusted me% were not against me and I felt more apt to answer
questions in the classroom% willing to learn without being ,udged by my teacher or classmates&
.hen I felt li'e my teacher didn(t trust me% I also felt li'e my classmates didn(t trust me either& I
was afraid to spea' my mind in the classroom to enhance my learning because I didn(t trust
anybody in that classroom&
I reali/ed at that time that building trust with my students is one of the most important
things in ha#ing students who are successful in my classroom& Because trust plays such an
important role in the classroom and school% I 'now how important it is to build a trusting
Bailey Spears 0
relationship with not ,ust those students who stic' out and want to be trusted and trust me% but
those students who find it hard to trust people% too&
1ini23iterature 4e#iew:
)hroughout searching for ways to build trusting relationships with students% there were
many articles% anecdotal and research based% that pro#ided information to my question of how to
build those types of relationships with my students& -ne of the literature responses that I found to
pro#ide me with anecdotal stories of ways to get students to trust you in a classroom where
students find trust a hard thing to come by% was the boo' 3earning )o )rust by 1arilyn .atson&
In this boo'% 3aura% the teacher% did a beyond ama/ing ,ob in building trust with her students% and
parents of those students in her classroom& In the beginning of the year% 3aura found herself
trying to get her students to trust her and her reasons behind doing what she did in her classroom&
)hen% once all of her students learned to trust 3aura% the atmosphere started to change& -ne of the
main priorities 3aura made was to get to 'now each and e#ery student& 3aura says% It ta'es time
to find out who our students are and what(s going on in their li#es& But it is time well in#ested if
we are committed to learning to li'e e#ery student in our classroom 5.atson% 6770% p& 089&
:e#eloping a relationship with the student is the first step in getting to 'now them&
;nowing what is going on in students li#es% will benefit building trust with all students& "ot only
do you need to build relationships with your students% but you need to build relationships with
the parents% too& .atson says% 1eeting and tal'ing with our students( parents or caregi#ers early
and throughout the year will help us understand our students( li#es outside of school and the 'ind
of relationship each child has with the most important adults in their life% 5.atson% 6770% p& <09&
3aura finds out that the reason that one of her student had such low self2esteem was because her
father was not #ery supporti#e of her% and that he often put her down& .hen she saw this% she
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noticed that she needed to do what she could to raise that students( self esteem& If 3aura would
not ha#e had that con#ersation with the father% she would ha#e ne#er 'nown the reason behind
her students( low self2esteem&
)he author tal's about how to help our students see that we li'e them% which will help
them trust us teachers& .atson says% .e need to ma'e a conscious and sustained effort to
con#ince the students that we care in order to build the 'ind of nurturing relationship that will
support their academic learning and de#elopment% 5.atson% 67709& How we do that as teachers
means that we must tell the children directly that we care about them& .e need to pay close
attention to their successes and let them 'now that we admire and appreciate what they ha#e
accomplished% 5.atson% 6770% p& <=9& .e need to let the students 'now through #erbal
communication that we admire what they are doing% rather than e+pecting the students to 'now
because we smile at them& *or the teacher% sharing personal information is a sign of affection
and of trust% 5.atson% 6770% p& <89 .hen teachers share personal information about themsel#es%
it ma'es the students feel li'e she trusts them to tell them such information&
-ne of the 'ey points that .atson made in the boo' when tal'ing about 3aura was to
remember% $ll% e#en those who appear aloof and defiant% want to be lo#ed and protected by
caring adults and want to fit in with their peer group% 5.atson% 6770% p& =09& $ll children want to
be cared for& "o matter who the child is% they all want that feeling of connectedness with their
peers and teacher& $ trusting and supporti#e teacher2child relationship is the foundation of
which a nurturing relationship is built& $chie#ing such a relationship with all our students
requires that we see each of them in a positi#e light% learn enough about them and their li#es to
be able to understand their unique ways% and con#ince our students that we can be trusted to care
Bailey Spears =
for them no matter what% 5.atson% 6770% p& =09& $ll of those things% ma'e it possible for
students to trust you and to ha#e trust from you&
$nother important figure for education% "el "oddings% wrote an article named% >ducating
1oral !eople 2 ?aring $lternati#e to ?haracter >ducation& In this article% "el "oddings tal's
about learning to care and learning to be cared for% which goes hand in hand with trust& If
students 'now they are cared for by you% they are more li'ely to trust you& "oddings says%
)oday% many young people not only fail to de#elop the capacity to care% but also seem not to
'now what it means to be cared for% 5"oddings% 6776% p& 6=9& )herefore% it is the teacher who
needs to ma'e efforts on their part to teach children how to care and be cared for% while
academically% too&
It is important to understand that% ?aring adults allow children to e+press their
reluctance and pain% and we sympathi/e as we coerce% 5"oddings% 6776% p& 6@9& If a student is
able to e+press their feelings in the classroom% then students are going to feel safe in the school
settings% which creates learning to emerge& $s learning emerges% it is then that you $llow
students to e+plore their own interests and capacities where they should be ad#ised and
supported% 5"oddings% 6776% p& 009& "oddings tal's a lot about rather than academics%
academics% academics% it is important that students feel cared about and trusted because if they
do not% the children do not feel apt to learn& $lso% we as teachers% need to stop thin'ing about
fitting these students into a mold% but rather let them e+press themsel#es&
$ chapter that I found comes from the boo'% 3essons from High2!erforming Hispanic
Schools: ?reating 3earning ?ommunities by By !edro 4eyes% Aay :& Scribner% and $licia
!aredes Scribner% 1@@@& In this chapter of the boo'% the author tal'ed about building collaborati#e
relationships with parents& -ne of the greatest e+amples from the article focuses on
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communication& It is important to build two2way communication% e+plaining by not ,ust sending
home notes or notices to parents through the student% because that is not #ery reliable% but rather
encourage parents to attend meetings or participate in the schools committees& By doing this% it
forms collaboration% parents and teachers forged personal relationships that created a more
durable structure for changing information% 54eyes% Scribner% Scribner% 1@@@% p& 1@79&
Sometimes% teachers thin' that it is the parents( responsibility to create a relationship
with them% more li'e% if you want to 'now% then as'& .hen teachers build relationships with the
parents of their students% the parents usually call upon the teacher to inform them about% the
child(s de#elopment% building and strengthening relationships% and enhancing the school
en#ironment% 54eyes% Scribner% Scribner% 1@@@% p& 1B=9& "ot only does the student benefit from
the relationships between the teacher and parent% In those schools where parents( contributions
were welcome and where staff relationships with parents were well de#eloped% >nglish2 and non2
>nglish2spea'ing parents had supporti#e communication networ's to e+change information and
de#elop social relationships% 54eyes% Scribner% Scribner% 1@@@% p& 1@@9& By creating a caring and
supporti#e classroom en#ironment for the students% you can help create a en#ironment in the
community of connectedness% tooC
1ethod of In#estigation:
)here are many things that I plan on doing and obser#ing while I am in field& I want to
see how the teacher interacts with hisDher students& I am going to watch to see how the teacher
loo's in her classroom% if she acts superior to her students% equal to her students% or less than her
students& I am also going to see how she tries to communicate with the parents in her classroom&
Bailey Spears B
.ith this% I am loo'ing for her to send home wee'ly letters to let the parents 'now what is going
on in the classroom so the parents feel informed% and if she calls to inform the parents how their
child is doing in her classroom& $nother thing I am going to loo' for when in field is if the
students feel trusted and trust their classmates& )he teacher needs to ma'e sure that they not only
feel trusted and trust her% but the same for all the students in the classroom&
)here are many other things I am going to loo' for% too& -bser#ing the classroom while
no students are in the classroom will pro#ide me a basis for what 'ind of classroom the teacher
has& If the classroom is made of all commercial wall decor and no student wor'% then I wonder
how she feels about her students& $lso% if some students( wor' is up more than other students%
then does she play fa#orites? $re those students who are not her fa#orite not trusting of her%
problem2ma'ers? I ha#e so much to loo' for in order to find more ways to build trusting
relationships&
?onte+t:
)he school in which I% Bailey Spears% obser#ed for two wee's during literacy bloc' was
"ew 1iami >lementary School% which was located at E7E Se#en 1ile $#e Hamilton% -H <=711&
)his school has been ta'en o#er by the state& Because of this% all of the students recei#e free
brea'fast and lunch e#ery school day& In the school year of 677@26717 the student enrollment
was 0E6 students% 1BE of those students being female% 18E being male& )he ethnicity of those
enrolled were 88&0F ?aucasian& -nly 6&@F or 17 of those students were of the blac' ethnicity&
6B students were multiracial and =@ or 1E&6F were considered disabled&
)he social economic status of those located in the "ew 1iami School :istrict is in the
median of G0B%010& )he number one ,ob for men being manufacturing and for women being
metal wor' and plastic wor'& )his is a small community with a population of 6%6<@& E6F of
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those 6%6<@ ha#e a high school degree& E&EF of those in the "ew 1iami community are
unemployed&
)he indi#idual classroom in which I obser#ed was a classroom that was #ery
commerciali/ed& )here was little to no student wor' being hung in the classroom& 1ost of the
material in the classroom seemed to be bought at a store& )he students were sat at tables with a
mi+ture of boys and girls at each table& )wo students were sat in corners of the classroom alone&
)he communication between the family and school seemed to be lac'ing& )he community
seemed to be #ery poor and not into the schooling process&
.ithin the classroom% there were twenty2one students& )en of those students being boys
and ele#en were girls& $ll but three of these students were below typically de#eloping& )here
were three students who were of multicultural ethnicity& )he rest of the students in the classroom
were ?aucasian& *rom what I 'now% all of the students were in lower class families&
Bailey Spears @
*ield:
1y inquiry question pertaining to my tension was% How do you build trusting and caring
relationships with all of your students and parents inside and outside of the classroom? I
planned on obser#ing my cooperating teacher on her interactions with her students and how she
acted within her classroom&
)hroughout field% I managed to ta'e an e+cess of notes about how the teacher did the
e+act opposite of building trusting and caring relationships with students and parents& )he first
day of field% I wal'ed into the classroom with a open mind and heart ready to e+perience
;indergarten in a whole new way& .hen I wal'ed into the classroom% it seemed as if the elderly
teacher was set in her own ways of teaching as when she first began teaching long ago& )he
students seemed hesitant to as' her questions about school or e#en general questions because it
was not clear what her reaction would be&
.hile in centers on the first day% the students were sat in their seats doing paper pencil
wor' and I noticed more than half of the class was confused with what they were supposed to be
doing at the different stations& $ couple of students had their hand raised for about fi#e minutes
before one student went up to the teacher(s des' because he was tired of waiting& .hen he
arri#ed at the teacher(s des'% she told him he better sit down before he gets his card flipped& )his
student(s eyes began to water as he was wal'ing bac' to his seat& She did not pay attention to the
students or their needs during the whole rotation of centers which was about an hour and a half& I
'new it was going to be a long wee' from the start of the first day&
Being able to tell how much the students did not trust their teacher on the first day made
me reali/e what a struggle it would be for the rest of their school years trusting the teachers
because of the e+perience they encountered in ;indergarten& -ne of the ma,or issues between the
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students and the teacher was discipline& )he students seemed to be disciplined for situations that
should not ha#e been an issue& !art of the discipline policy at "ew 1iami >lementary School
was card flipping& If the students were not on their best beha#ior throughout the whole day% the
most li'ely had their card flipped at least once& I reali/ed cards began being flipped for not sitting
in their seat% not following directions on the first time being told% being off tas'% not doing
wor'sheet because of being confused% tal'ing when their neighbor as'ed them a question about
the wor'sheet% questions not to do with school% and telling other peers to shh in the hallway&
)hese were all reasons the cards were flipped as a way of being disciplined& -nce the students
had their cards flipped% the students automatically shut off from the teacher& -ften not as'ing
anymore questions% which consequently has an effect on the students( learning&
-ne of the incidents that had me rather upset was when the students had their card flipped
if they had to go to the bathroom other than the designated time for the class to go& )he students
were punished for ha#ing to use the restroom at an incon#enient time& .hen a student has to get
their card flipped% they lose recess& 3osing recess because you ha#e to use the restroom is
unbelie#able& -ne of the students e+claimed to the teacher that he had to use the restroom really
bad and she said% no% you are not going right nowC 3ess than two minutes later% this student
had wet himself& )he teacher then embarrassed him in front of the classroom because he used the
restroom on himself& )he student began to cry while the whole class was loo'ing at him& I% also%
began to cry because I was so mortified for this student& $fter that day% the student refused to do
his wor'& I saw the negati#e affect that situation had on the student due from the teacher
embarrassing the student& )hat situation showed how the teacher was not creating trusting
relationships with the students% but demolishing what little trusting relationships% if any% she had
with the students&
Bailey Spears 11
I wanted to obser#e how the teacher acted with the students when it came to fairness and
equality in the classroom& Howe#er% all I obser#ed in the classroom was a teacher who acted as a
dictator& )he students had no power in the classroom& 1any times the students would as' if they
could play with manipulati#es during math% and the teacher would tell the students no% with no
e+planation& She ne#er got on the le#el of the students in the classroom% instead she stood abo#e
them and loo'ed down on them& She rarely got out of her des' chair% and when she did% it was to
flip a student(s card&
)he students in the classroom seemed as if they were beat down by the teacher(s
comments and reactions to their questions& In ;indergarten% the students often are gi#en one2on2
one tests instead of whole group tests because they often lose their place or need help reading the
directions& I obser#ed my cooperating teacher gi#ing one of the students in the classroom an oral
test& She as'ed the student to tell her the word she was saying as she said% ttt2ap& )his student is
a struggling reader and >nglish language learner& He had no idea what word she was saying and
responded by the first word that popped in his head and said% better& )he teacher loo'ed at him%
shoo' her head% and said% you ha#e got to be 'idding me? Hou don(t e#en 'now what I ,ust
said? )he student put his head down and I saw a tear roll down his face& )he teacher did not
ha#e any sympathy and told him to go sit down&
1y peer and I sat in on a parent2teacher conference& )he teacher e+plained to us before
how much help the student needed and how far behind he was from the rest of his peers& She
said% He is socially% mentally% and physically behind& He has failed e#ery test% can(t count to fi#e
or e#en say his $B?(s& Howe#er% when the student(s parent came into the room% she tal'ed
about how he was a pleasure to ha#e in class and doing awesome& I could not belie#e my ears as
she was telling the parents completely different information that she had told me& I began to
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wonder if she was tal'ing about a different student% but I as'ed after the meeting and she said
that it was the parent of that child& "ot only was she lying to the parents% she completely
disregarded the student(s needs& It was as if she wanted the parents to thin' she was a good
teacher% when in reality% she has not gained any trust from the students and completely ruined the
students( willingness to learn&
)hroughout the two wee's% I obser#ed interactions between the teacher and students that
I hope I ne#er ha#e to see again in a classroom& :ue to the lac' of trust in this classroom% the
students learning was impacted dramatically& I sat in on one of the other ;indergarten classes for
an hour one of the days and I saw how fun she made the learning for the students& *rom that%
@=F of her students were passing all le#els in her class& In the class that I was put in for two
wee's% 1=F of the children were passing% some of them passing only one of the content areas&
)his had a negati#e effect on the students( learning and de#elopment& )hese students are now
behind the rest of their ;indergarten peers due to the lac' of trusting relationships between the
teacher and the students&
$lthough I was not able to see much interaction with the parents and the teacher% I do not
belie#e much communication went on& 1y cooperating teacher ne#er sent home fliers or
newsletters for the wee'& )he only time she called a parent was for discipline reasons& Hou could
feel the negati#ity through the students% parents% and teacher& Because of the negati#ity% the
students are at a disad#antage for learning&
:iscussion:
.hen I went into field% I had an open mind and was nai#e to what I was going to
encounter& I 'new that there were teachers in the world that were not considered good teachers
for the students academic learning& Howe#er% I was #ery nai#e to the fact that there were teachers
Bailey Spears 10
teaching young innocent adolecents who not only didn(t support their student(s emotionally% but
also bro'e down the self2esteem and trust between the students and themsel#es& 1y intentions
for field were to get ideas on how to build those positi#e trusting relationships between the
students and the parents& Howe#er% I feel as if I found out what not to do as a future teacher in
order to build trusting relationships& I may ha#e gotten a better e+perience than my other peers
due to the fact of what I saw& I refuse to treat my future students the way my cooperating teacher
treated hers& I now 'now e+actly what not to do in my classroom& I found out the negati#e affects
of not ha#ing trust inside of a classroom% including academic le#el% peer interaction% and student
shut downs&
.hile I had high e+pectations of what I was going to see inside the classroom due to
research from my literature re#iew% I was highly disappointed& *rom the boo' 3earning to )rust%
I learned what teachers should do inside their classrooms in order to de#elop a positi#e
en#ironment& $lthough 3aura e+plained it ta'es time to figure out who your students are and
what(s going on in their li#es% it is time well in#ested if we are committed to learning to li'e
e#ery student in our classroom 5.atson% 6770% p& 089& Howe#er% my cooperating teacher did not
want to ta'e any time out of her day to get to 'now the students on a one2to2one basis& 1any of
times% she referred to the students as the wrong name because she has ne#er got to 'now the
students from the beginning of the year& $lso% it was apparent which students my teacher did not
li'e& She always pic'ed on those students and made them more troublsome than the other
students&
If the students in the classroom had low self2esteem% I did not 'now if it was from their
home life or because of how their teacher treated them& It was so e+tremely hard for me to sit
bac' and listen to the teacher as she yelled at these fi#e and si+ year old children li'e they were
14
adults& )he students were afraid to as' questions and answer questions because she laughed at
them if they answered incorrectly& >#eryday% I saw more and more students shutting down inside
the classroom&
$ccording to "oddings% so many teachers are teaching children e+actly what they need to
'now according to the standards and not gi#ing the children a chance to e+press themsel#es& )hat
is what I e+perienced the children going through& )hey had no chance to e+press their creati#ity
inside this classroom& It was as if they were robots& Howe#er% it was apparent that treating them
as if they were robots was not successful% seeing that many of the students were failing&
.hen dealing with parent and teacher communication& I belie#e it is one of the most
important things to ha#e in building a successful classroom& If the parents feel as if they ha#e a
good relationship with their student(s teacher% then they are more li'ely to help out in the
educational process of their child& If it is ob#ious that the teacher does not put in the effort to get
to 'now the parent% then what message is that sending to them? 3i'e stated by the authors% High2
!erforming Hispanic Schools: ?reating 3earning ?ommunities% In those schools where parents(
contributions were welcome and where staff relationships with parents were well de#eloped%
parents had supporti#e communication networ's to e+change information and de#elop social
relationships& 54eyes% Scribner% Scribner% 1@@@% p& 1@@9& Howe#er% that was not the case with this
classroom& 1any times my cooperating teacher told us stories of the student(s parents that were
not appropriate or professional to tell& She also told me that she rarely tries to get ahold of some
of them because it is a lost cause& )herefore% not only has she not gained the trust and
commitment from the parents% she has demolished what e#er trust she had from the students&
-#erall% I found out e+actly what I do not want to do in my future classroom& )he
students were behind socially% emotionally% and academically due to the lac' of trust in the
Bailey Spears 1=
classroom& )he students need someone to be there for them while away from their parents at that
young of an age& )o ha#e a teacher that puts them down and emotionally ma'es them feel as if
they cannot do anything right will ruin their trust for the rest of their school years& It is hurtful
that the students ha#e to e+perience this type of teacher for their first school year& )he students
are now academically behind their other ;indergarten peers and may continue to be due to the
fact that their teacher did not trust them or gain their trust& )his is the fault of the teacher% not the
students but the students are the ones who are going to suffer& .e% as future teachers% need to
gain the trust and trust our students for the students( success ultimately in our handsC
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4eferences:
?ity2:ata& 567169& "ew 1iami% -hio & 4etrie#ed from http:DDwww&city2data&comDcityD"ew
1iami2-hio&html
:epartment of >ducation& 567169& "ew 1iami School :istrict I>lementary SchoolJ& 4etrie#ed
from http:DDwww&ode&state&oh&us
"oddings% "& 567769& >ducating moral people: ?aring alternati#e to character education& "ew
Hor' K 3ondon: )eachers ?ollege !ress&
4eyes% !& K Aay :& Scribner% A% :& K Scribner% $% !& 51@@@9& 3essons from High2!erforming
hispanic schools creating learning communities: Building collaborati#e relationships
with parents& "ew Hor'% "H: )eachers ?ollege !ress&
.atson% 1& 567709& 3earning to trust% )ransforming difficult elementary classrooms through
de#elopmental discipline& San *rancisco% ?alifornia: Aosy2Bass&