Living the Dream

A guide to raising
Jake McEvoy


A Step-By-Step Guide



1. Do not smother the
Jake. Jake loves you, but
finds it annoying when
he is being smothered.
Solution: Stop

2. While the Jake is playing
Madden 25, do not tell
Jake to have dinner.
Madden is important
to Jake.
Solution: Alert me 30
minutes in advance of a
meal

3. Do not have family
dinners every night and
expect Jake to be the
center of conversation.
Solution: Let Jake eat while
doing other things.

4. Do not ask Jake how his
girlfriend is, or if
applicable, if he likes
anyone ALL THE TIME.
Solution: I will tell you
when I feel like it.

5. Continue clothing and
feeding Jake, HE
ENJOYS IT
Solution: Continue.

6. While Jake is talking to
you sincerely, remove
phone from hands, THIS
MEANS YOU FATHER.
Solution: Put the damn
thing down.

7. You respect my privacy
and dont barge into my
room without knocking,
KEEP THAT UP.

8. Jake is not functional on
Saturdays and Sundays;
ergo, dont ask him to
do things.
Solutions: Understand
these are Jakes rest days.

9. I expect a full
refrigerator at all times.
A growing boy needs
gratuitous amounts of
food.
Solutions: Buy a lot of
food, and dont shy away
from the unhealthy stuff.

10. Do not nag Jake 24/7,
especially in the
mornings. It puts Jake in
a bad mood for the rest
of the day.
Solution: Find an easier
way of telling me to do
stuff.