9/6/2012

1
Strengthening Marriage
Session Two: Communicating with
Love - Part 2
Review
Language is powerful!
Thoughts and attitudes
effect communication
The Four Horsemen
Contempt
Criticism
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
(Withdrawal)
5:1 ratio
Active Listening Skills
Attend (Genuine Interest)
If marriage is a prime relationship in life, it deserves
prime time! - Elder Russell M. Nelson
Acknowledge (Genuine Acceptance)
Have a positive mindset about your spouse and
reintroduce praise and admiration into your
relationship. - John Gottman, PhD
Ask Open Questions (Genuine Curiosity)
Remember, unless you are a mind reader, you DONT
know what your partner is going through!
Positive Speaking Skills
I Statements
Share personal feelings and gives reasons for
them.
Non-blaming
Non-critical
Speak Non-Defensively
Take personal responsibility for issue
Acknowledge mistakes
Respectfully acknowledge feelings of your partner
Learning Activity 1
Break out and switch doing the following:
Speaker:
Use I statements and speak non-defensively
Listener:
Attend, acknowledge and ask open questions
YOUR SCENARIOS WILL BE HANDED OUT TO YOU
Enhancing Communication
Give honest, sincere praise:
Praise is just as important with your spouse as it is
with your children. (Socks Story)!
Clearly state your preferences/expectations:
Specific, brief, non-demanding, and at the right time.
Reduces resentment and disappointment.
Process over content:
HOW you say it is more important than WHAT you
say!
9/6/2012
2
Learning Activity 2
Fill out the handout alone (5 minutes)
Discuss the answers with your partner (10
minutes)
Schedule 30-45 minutes a week to work on
your communication.
7-weeks experiment as a guide!
Resources Website
http://lds.mymft.org