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Strengthening Marriage
Session 4: Overcoming Anger
The Danger of Anger
Why Anger?
Intimidation
Avoidance of responsibilities
Control
Perceived threat
Feeling Anger
Anger is Natural (Normal)
Dont
Ignore it
Suppress it
Talk about it (entertain it)
Be controlled by it
Do
Take a break
Release it appropriately
Share it (with God even)
Expressions of Anger
Positive Expression
Exercise, talking, working, connecting
Negative Expression
Aggression (physical, emotional, sexual)
Internalization (self harm, negative thoughts)
Passive Aggressive Behavior (tardiness, sarcasm,
irritability, procrastination)
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Your Anger CYCLE!
Pretends to
be normal
Beneath the
surface
Build up
Distorted
thinking
Acting out
Venting of
anger
Downward
Spiral
Guilt and
shame
Thoughts before Feelings
Interpretation matters
All-or-nothing (I used to think he was decent, but
I saw his true colors today)
Jumping to conclusions (She is so conceited, I
mean nothing to her)
Catastrophizing (response to a furrowed brow, I
screwed up. Im just know theyll fire me now)
How would a camera interpret the event?
Challenging Negative Thoughts
Share with your partner three negative events
you have experienced lately.
Together write down two coping statements
that counters the negative interpretation.
Both partners should get a chance to do this.
Share Your Core Concern
Increasing Spirituality
Living in a Christ-like manner, increases your
capacity for compassion.
Knowing you are loved by your Father in
Heaven, increases your ability to forgive.
With your partner, develop a spiritual plan to
decrease your anger.
Preventing Relapse
1. Pay attention to your body.
2. Note your episodes of anger (with the anger
log).
3. Increase spirituality.
4. Develop a relapse plan (using handout and
your anger cycle).
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What questions do you have?
This power point will be online at:
http://lds.mymft.org/couples