SPECIFIC STANDARDS MEASURED BY THIS ASSESSMENT:

WRITING STANDARD (11-12 students)

1. Write arguments to support claims in an analysis of substantive topics or texts, using valid
reasoning and relevant and sufficient evidence.
d. Establish and maintain a formal style and objective tone while attending to the norms
and conventions of the discipline in which they are writing.
4. Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style are
appropriate to task, purpose, and audiences.

READING STANDARDS FOR LITERATURE (11-12 students)
1. Cite strong and thorough textual evidence to support analysis of what the text says explicitly
as well as inferences drawn from the text, including determining where the text leaves matters
uncertain.
3. Analyze the impact of the authors choices, regarding how to develop and relate elements of
a story or drama (e.g., where a story is set, how the action is ordered, how the characters are
introduced and developed).]

SUMMARY AND COMMENTARY OF STUDENT LEARNING FOR THIS ASSESSMENT

Student
Grammar
Score
Spelling &
Homophone
Varied
Sentence
Structure &
Vocabulary
Analysis of
Literary
Elements
Appropriate
for Audience
Cohesion,
Order, Flow
Citations in
MLA format
Score Average
Student A 4/5 5/5 5/5 15/15 5/5 10/10 0/5 44/50 88%
Student B 5/5 4/5 5/5 15/15 5/5 8/10 0/5 42/50 84%
Student C 4/5 5/5 5/5 13/15 1/5 8/10 5/5 41/50 82%
Student D 4/5 5/5 5/5 15/15 5/5 10/10 0/5 44/50 88%
Student E 5/5 5/5 5/5 7/15 4/5 5/10 5/5 36/50 72%
Student F 4/5 5/5 5/5 15/15 5/5 10/10 4/5 48/50 96%
Student G 4/5 5/5 5/5 15/15 5/5 8/10 0/5 42/50 84%
Student H 5/5 4/5 5/5 15/15 5/5 10/10 0/5 44/50 88%
Student I 4/4 5/5 5/5 15/15 5/5 10/10 0/5 44/50 88%
Student J 2/5 4/5 5/5 15/15 5/5 10/10 5/5 46/50 92%
Student K 3/5 5/5 5/5 15/15 5/5 8/10 4/5 45/50 90%
Student L 5/5 5/5 5/5 15/15 5/5 10/10 0/5 45/50 90%
Student M 4/5 5/5 5/5 15/15 5/5 9/10 0/5 43/50 86%
Student N 5/5 5/5 5/5 15/15 4/5 3/10 0/5 37/50 84%
Student O 4/5 5/5 3/5 5/15 4/5 10/10 0/5 31/50 62%
Student P 4/5 4/5 5/5 15/15 5/5 8/10 0/5 41/50 82%
Student Q 3/5 4/5 5/5 15/15 5/5 8/10 4/5 44/50 88%
Student R 2/5 5/5 5/5 15/15 5/5 8/10 5/5 45/50 90%
Student S 5/5 4/5 5/5 15/15 5/5 10/10 0/5 44/50 80%
Student T 3/5 4/5 5/5 15/15 5/5 8/10 0/5 40/50 80%
Student U 5/5 5/5 5/5 15/15 2/5 9/10 5/5 46/50 92%
Student V 4/5 5/5 5/5 13/15 1/5 6/10 0/5 34/50 68%
Averages 4/5 4.68/5 4.91/5 14/15 4.36/5 8.45/10 1.68/5 42.09/50 84.18%


The grammar category of the grading criteria was meant to gauge the mastery of Writing
Standard 4, which asks students to produce clear and coherent writing. I was very happy that 7
students had no grammatical errors and 10 students only had one to a few errors in grammar
that didnt detract from the overall message of the writing. The students who scored under a four

either struggled with forming complete sentences with a subject and verb (1 student), had
multiple run-on sentences (1 student) or had more than a couple errors in grammar that slightly
detracted from the overall message of the writing (3 students).

All students performed well in the spelling and homophone category, which corresponds with
Writing Standard 4. Fifteen students had no errors in spelling or homophone use and the other 7
students errors were minor, like the need to spell out words such as point-of-view instead of
abbreviating it as POV (2), or misusing then and than (1). Every student who had errors in
spelling hand-wrote their papers instead of typing them in a word processor.

Only 1 student had trouble varying sentence structure, while the other 21 had no problem
combining simple sentences into more complex ones to make reading interesting. This grading
criterion assesses Writing Standard 1d by making sure writing is appropriate for the audience
and Writing Standard 4 by making the piece more cohesive.

I made the analysis of Poes use of literary devices worth the most points because that was one
of the main focuses of this unit. This category assesses how well students meet Reading
Literature Standard 3, which requires students to analyze the impact of the authors choices
regarding how to develop and relate elements of a story. Of the 22 students who turned in the
assignment, 18 students received full credit because they successfully analyzed the quality of
Poes use of at least two literary devices in The Oblong Box. Of the 4 students who didnt
successfully meet this criterion, one confused literary elements with the characteristics of the
Dark Romanticism genre, one incorrectly identified an event in the story as foreshadowing when
it was actually the event that the previous foreshadowing was hinting at, one incorrectly
identified the point-of-view as omniscient when its first-person, and one didnt explain or give
examples of the literary elements they wrote about.

The next aspect that was evaluated was the appropriateness of the writing for the audience
(based on which of the five prompts they chose) and it assesses Writing Standards 1d and 4. Of
the 22 students, 16 maintained an appropriate tone specific for their writing prompt. The other
six students either didnt choose a prompt to write within (2 students), used inappropriate
phrases like screwed up (1 student), or didnt use a letter format if they chose that prompt (3
students).

The criterion for cohesion corresponds with Writing Standards 1, 1d, and 4. Only 9 of the 22
students who completed the assignment received full points in this category. Of the 13 students
whose papers werent completely cohesive, 5 lacked conclusions, 3 didnt separate their writing
into different paragraphs, 3 had several instances of awkward sentence structure or wrong word
choice and 2 had factually inaccurate information and unclear meaning

Only 5 students were able to properly cite paraphrased material and quotes. Three students
attempted MLA citations but made an error in punctuation placement while 14 didnt even
attempt a citation. This shows a lack of understanding of the importance of backing claims with
textual evidence, which is the first Reading Standard for Literature.

ANAYLYSIS OF SPECIFIC STUDENT WORK SAMPLES TO SUMMARIZE PATTERNS OF
LEARNING FOR THE WHOLE CLASS AND GROUPS OF STUDENTS

Comprehension and the ability to make meaning from complex texts were gauged in the criteria
that assessed the cohesiveness of the piece. This was where students lost points if facts about
The Oblong Box were inaccurate. Only two students were deducted points for misrepresenting
information about the text. Additionally, one other student improperly identified the point-of-view
of the story as omniscient instead of first-person. This points to a lack of comprehension of the
text, but could also be a misconception of the meaning of various types of point-of-view. Overall,
students had no trouble comprehending the text.

The class as a whole was also able to interpret and respond to the text satisfactorily overall.
When analyzing and critiquing Poes use of literary elements in the story, Student G was able to
explain that foreshadowing was used to increase suspense. G also had a high-level of insight
into the effect that setting had on the events in The Oblong Box because G noted how the
weather affected the mood of the passengers and mirrored Mr. Wyatts decent into madness.

The grading criteria that assessed students abilities to respond to a complex text are the ones
that score the effectiveness of the writing, including the grammar, spelling, sentence structure,
appropriateness for audience, and citations sections of the score sheet. The average for
students who turned in the assignment was 80% or above in all of these assessment categories
except for citations. This indicates that students were successful overall in responding to the
text, but either dont know how to cite quotes and paraphrased material accurately or dont feel it
necessary to do so.

Student Os paper represents the lower end of average scores on this writing assignment, and
the student made several common errors within the seven categories of assessment. This
doesnt represent satisfactory understanding for the unit. Student O had a few grammatical
errors, but none in spelling or word usage. Os sentence structure wasnt varied, especially in
the second paragraph, making it staccato sounding and dull to read. O was also not able to
analyze Poes use of literary elements because the student confused characteristics of the
genre of Dark Romanticism with the literary elements we discussed in the unit. Os tone was too
informal in some places to warrant full credit, but the writing was logically structured and
cohesive. Os writing sample was also representative of the class because, like the majority of
students, no citations were even attempted.

Student I and Student Gs papers represent the higher end of the class average. Like many
high-scoring students, Student I missed one point for a couple grammatical errors and all five
points for not attempting any citations. Student G missed the same points plus an additional two
for not concluding the writing. This represents the most common error students in the class
made in the category of cohesion and structure.

No student earned a perfect score, indicating that specific areas need to continue to be
mastered before additional challenges are required.

FEEDBACK COMMENTARY
I tried to focus on individual strengths in my feedback to students because its important for
them to know the things they are doing right as developing writers. I noted on Student Is paper
when they wrote everything that sings to your profession really showed their voice. I also
commented when the students analysis of the literary element of atmosphere was effective
because they explained the effect of its use on readers. Although I didnt have grading criteria
that dealt directly with too much word repetition, I suggested on Student Is paper that they try to
find a synonym or another way to say something when the same word or form of the word is
repeated in the same sentence. I also noted where a quotation from the text could have been
used to back a claim Student I made because they didnt ever attempt to cite anything in MLA
format.

I think its important that students analyze the effect that literary elements have on the audience,
and I noted this as a strength on student Gs paper when they talked about foreshadowing.
Student G also didnt attempt to cite any information from the text in MLA format but they did
use a quotation, so I noted on their paper how they would properly place quotations,
parenthesis, the authors name, page number and punctuation. On the grading criteria paper
attached to Student Gs writing, I noted that it is plagiarism to quote a text without a citation.

Student Os work represents the lower end of the grade spectrum, but it is only because the
student didnt have a good understanding of what a literary element was. The student confused
the characteristics of Dark Romanticism, which are specific to the genre, with literary elements,
which are more universal in works of literature. This affected their grade significantly, and I
noted on their work that the topic they were discussing wasnt considered a literary element. I
counteracted this critical feedback by noting on the grading sheet that Student O did a great job
of introducing, explaining and concluding, making the piece cohesive despite not meeting all the
criteria. When sentence structure was repetitive, I noted on the students work to read it aloud to
self-test this criteria.

SUPPORTING STUDENTS TO APPLY FEEDBACK TO GUIDE IMPROVEMENT

I will support students to apply the feedback I gave by offering the opportunity to make back half
the points lost on the writing assignment for corrections made. As a class, we will talk about the
common mistakes or misconceptions, like the lack of conclusions and citations. I will show
student work examples of writing pieces that meet the grading criteria with permission from
students.

In the next learning segment I will support students to apply the feedback to guide improvement
by establishing grading criteria for the next writing assignment with groups of students who had
the same or similar difficulties on this writing assignment. Some of the criteria will be the same
for the entire class, but other criteria areas will be specific to the aspects of writing that were
weak on this assignment. For example, I will meet briefly with Student G and others who didnt
have a conclusion and make sure that one of their assessments for the next essay specifically
addresses including a strong conclusion at the end of the paper.

ANALSIS OF EVIDENCE OF LANGUAGE UNDERSTANDING AND USE

SELECTED LANGUAGE FUNCTION
Overall, students were able to evaluate the effectiveness of two literary devices in Edgar Allan
Poes The Oblong Box through their response to a writing prompt where they chose an
authentic, career-focused context to write within. Of the 22 students 18 received full credit in the
grading category where they were assessed on their ability to analyze Poes use of literary
elements in the story. Of the 4 students who didnt successfully meet this criterion, one
confused literary elements with the characteristics of the Dark Romanticism genre, one
incorrectly identified an event in the story as foreshadowing when it was actually the event that
the previous foreshadowing was hinting at, one incorrectly identified the point-of-view as
omniscient when its first-person, and one didnt explain or give examples of the literary
elements they wrote about.

An example of successful use of this language function was evident in Student Gs writing when
the student wrote (as Poe):

The second literary element that I use that makes my novel [movie-worthy] is setting.
The setting plays a huge effect on the mood in the novel. At the beginning of the book
the weather is good which [causes] the mood of the passengers to be much better. As
the book [progresses] the weather gets worse just like Mr. Wyatts insanity gets worse.
The weather doesnt only have an effect on the mood but it also has a physical effect. Its
physical effect is that it sinks the ship which leads to the death of Mr. Wyatt.

Student I also did a fine job of analyzing Poes writing and use of literary elements
because the student could identify the effect that atmosphere has on readers. Writing
from Poes point-of-view, Student I said The atmosphere is dark and mysterious,
making the [readers] mind wonder about what could be inside the box!

Overall, the class was able to evaluate the effectiveness of aspects of Poes writing from an
authentic context as well. Students were assessed on the appropriateness of the writing for the
audience they chose to write to based on the prompt picked. Of the 22 students, 16 maintained
an appropriate tone specific for their writing prompt. The other six students either didnt choose
a prompt to write within (2 students), used inappropriate phrases like screwed up (1 student),
or didnt use a letter format if they chose that prompt (3 students).

VOCABULARY
Only four students revealed misconceptions pertaining to the vocabulary learned in the unit.
One confused literary elements with the characteristics of the Dark Romanticism genre, one
incorrectly identified an event in the story as foreshadowing when it was actually the event that
the previous foreshadowing was hinting at, one incorrectly identified the point-of-view as
omniscient when its first-person, and one didnt explain or give examples of the literary elements
they wrote about.


SYNTAX
Students demonstrate syntactic understanding through their writing, evidenced by the fact that
all except one were able to earn full credit for that part of the criteria. Student O had difficulty
with syntax because all the students sentences were structured similarly. In the second
paragraph, O wrote, I stated he was morose. After several days the weather worsened. The
passengers expected this because the weather had been building up. Then it became like a
hurricane. By this point my story is reaching a [climactic] point. This writing sounds like staccato
beats in music. Every other student showed more complexity in sentence structure. Student I for
example, wrote The setting is perfect[:] a ship, dark and wet, just like the sweat on the
[readers] brow!

DISCOURSE
An understanding of academic discourse was assessed by evaluating the appropriateness of
students writing for the audience they chose to write to in one of five prompts. This gave them
an opportunity to write authentically and practice professionalism. Of the 22 students 16
maintained an appropriate tone specific for their writing prompt. The other six students either
didnt choose a prompt to write within (2 students) or didnt use a letter format if thats the
prompt they chose (3 students). Additionally, Student O used inappropriate phrases for a
professional letter. O said the weather combined with those observations, foreshadows
something is not right, and there is something screwed up with this man, Mr. Wyatt (2)

USING ASSESSMENT TO INFORM INSTRUCTION

I plan to conduct writing mini-lessons each day during the second half of the next unit. They will
be devoted to common misconceptions like the lack of MLA citations in this unit. We will
examine high-quality examples of essays to note effective writing strategies pertaining to the
errors that were common in this writing assignment. For example, we might analyze the use of
quotations and paraphrased summaries as well as the proper formatting. I will make sure to
discuss the fact that uncited quotes and paraphrased writing is considered plagiarism and could
result in disciplinary action in the future. As an exit slip, I will require that each student use the
current next text were studying (Of Mice and Men) to back up a predetermined claim with one
quote from the text in a smooth transition in one sentence.

Certain misconceptions could more effectively be addressed with individual students instead of
the class as a whole. I plan, for example, to give individual feedback to Student O tomorrow by
asking the student to name some literary elements for me while the rest of the class is reading
in small groups. I will guide O to identify elements like foreshadowing with open-ended
questions. Then I will give him his assignment back and show O where the characteristics of
Dark Romanticism were confused with literary elements. I will give O the opportunity to revise
for half the points lost. I will do the same for other individual misconceptions when passing back
their assignments.

For the essay assignment that goes with the next unit, I will build in time for self-grading and
peer critiques. This way, students have to examine how theyve met grading criteria and can

then focus on the areas that still need improvement. This will align with struggling writers whose
accommodations require that they be allowed to revise writing assignments.

Ive chosen to address misconceptions in the following unit. According to the Association for
Supervision and Curriculum Development, demonstrating what effective writing looks like is a
good mode of feedback. I will do this by providing students with high-quality examples of essays
to analyze. ASCD says that whole-class instruction is effective when the same mini-lesson or
reteaching session is required for a number of students. Individual feedback is effective when a
misconception is only evident in one or two students.

Self-grading is a good way for students to analyze their own writing and identify their strengths
and areas that require revision. According to Sadler and Good (2006), self-grading appears to
result in increased student learning because students are reflective of their performance and
can identify where improvement needs to be made. Chang, Pearman and Farha (2010) found
through a survey in an undergraduate course that learners believe the peer evaluation process
helped them improve the quality of their own work, both as a result of being a peer evaluator
themselves and from the quality of the feedback received from their classmate-evaluators.
Higher quality final project with fewer mistakes corroborated the students assessment (p. 69).
This knowledge influenced my decision to include time for self- and peer-grading during the next
unit.]