Significant Adolescent Experiences That Were Life Changing 1

Significant Adolescent Experiences That Were Life Changing

Darice Collier
Wayne State University














Significant Adolescent Experiences That Were Life Changing 2
Adolescence is a very important time of growing and development that is life changing
to many people. The experiences of adolescent years can have an effect on a persons
adulthood and sometimes it does not have an effect on adulthood. My adolescent events,
struggles, and experiences shaped the person that I am in my early adulthood. During the teen
years is when adolescence finishes their brain development and it is not fully complete until the
late stage of adolescent (Ashford & LeCroy, 2010). This is why adolescent goes through so many
mental changes due to their brain development. Some psychology theories can exemplify
some of my behaviors I had while I was an adolescent. Adolescence is an important stage of
development because teens transitions from being a child and preparing to be an adult. My
adolescent experience help create my personality, social skills, identity, and, behavior.
My adolescence experience was a descent experience. I do not regret the way anything
went while I was a teenager because that is how my personality was created and its who I am.
Growing up, I had many responsibilities that an average teenager would not usually have. I
would always wonder why things happened the way that they did, but I realized that whatever
occurs in a persons life is meant for a particular reason. The dramatic change all started in the
year of 2002, when I was twelve years old. The unfortunate part of this story is that it was close
to Christmas, which should be a childs most precious holiday. My Christmas was not the best
that year, because about two weeks before Christmas, my mother, sisters and I had to move
out from our lovely home in Grosse Pointe to a two family flat in Detroit. My mother could not
afford to pay the house mortgage, the house utilities, car note and take care of her four
children all by herself. We moved into the two family flat with my uncle and his wife. We lived
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upstairs and my uncle and aunt lived down stairs. I have three younger sisters, at the time their
ages were nine, two, and one. It was by far the worst Christmas I have ever had.
Four months before we had to move out from our beautiful house in Grosse Pointe
everything was perfect for my family. My father was a good man and he took care of his family.
My father was a Mount Clemens police officer and he supported us very well. He would give up
his life for his family and did whatever it took to make sure we had provisions and other things
that were vital. Well, all of that changed from one decision that he made. My father tried to
make some quick money in Oklahoma because of some financial problems. Unfortunately, he
did not make it back from Oklahoma. He was sentenced up to five years for drug possession. It
seemed ironic for a police officer who served as a law enforcer, to be guilty of committing a
serious crime, such as drug possession. He took a chance and was caught just to support his
beloved family.
After my father was incarcerated my family was devastated and it changed our lives.
One of the biggest changes was moving from our house in Grosse Pointe. My mother had to
step up and take charge of everything for her children. She did not have to worry about
anything when my father was the provider, but now she had to provide for us on her own. My
mother became stressed while trying to provide for her children and eventually had high blood
pressure. My mother already was disabled and she developed worse back and legs problems.
My mother developed these problems after she had my youngest sister. The doctors caused
more medical problems after she had her fallopian tubes tied. She had a leisure tear in her
back spine and thats how her back and legs became messed up. My mother tried to provide
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for us as best as she could, but I had to step up to the plate and help her. I guess you could
consider me as the assistant mother, because she could not do a lot of things due to her back
injury. She did not work and received money for being disabled, which placed many extra
responsibilities on me. I was her oldest child; therefore I didnt have the option of laziness.
Other family members tried to help my mother when they could, but I was left with the biggest
responsibilities.
At the age of twelve, I knew how to do things that an average adolescent would not
know how. I learned how to do inside and outside domestic work. I kept the house looking
spotless clean and made sure my family had a cooked meal to eat every day. I took care of the
outside of the house during the four different seasons all by myself. I shoveled the snow,
watered the grass, mowed the lawn, raked the leaves, and picked up trash on the lawn. I also
help take care of my two younger sisters. I helped change diapers, wash bottles, wash their
clothes, feed them, and babysat around the clock. My favorite responsibility was going grocery
shopping for the family and I always knew exactly what to get. Sometimes during this
adolescent experience I would feel overwhelmed with all the responsibilities that I had, but I
knew I had to be my mothers support. Most teens would not been able to handle everything I
had to deal with while growing up.
What happened when my father was incarcerated has helped me to become an
awesome leader, role model, and strong independent individual. There are many positive
effects that this adolescent event has upon my life. It helped shape my great personality that I
have and it made me be a good asset to my society. I did not have my father during my
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teenager years and lived in poverty, but I did not let that stop me from pursuing my goals.
During the time of this event the issues that I experienced helped me to become a highly
motivated adult. The effects that I experienced due to the event were good and bad. The only
bad thing about my experience was growing up quicker than an average adolescent would, but
growing up at a fast rate made be become very mature and taught me how to handle
responsibilities. Overall, I appreciate the hardships and responsibility that I had during my
father incarceration because it helped create the person that I am.
While being a teenager I always wanted my body image to be better, but everyone
would tell me that I looked fine. Some key aspects of adolescence as a developmental period
are that young people become concerned about their physical appearance and about others
perceptions of how they look (Ashford & Lecroy, 2010, p. 417). Some people would tell me
that I was boney and some people would tell me that I looked just like a model. I strongly
disliked when people would tell me that I looked boney, I would tell them I would rather be
called skinny than boney. I did not like to be called skinny either, but people always classify you
between the two when someone is petite. I did not feel bad about my body shape, but I just
wanted to be bigger. I wanted my legs, thighs, and arms to be a little bigger. Most teens go
through a stage of paying more attention to themselves and being very self conscious, which I
exactly did. I would always buy clothes that would make me look bigger and complimented the
small size that I had. I did not like the size of my breast either because I had a small body with
big breast. Most women in my family have small breast, so everyone in my family would talk
about me and say that it was crazy for me to have the size that I was. I felt embarrassed when
anyone made a comment about my breast. I did not like for anyone to say anything about my
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weight or my breast size. Physical changes have psychological consequences for developing
boys and girls (Ashford & LeCroy, 2010, p. 419). When I was a young adolescent I did not have
high confidence about my body image and physical changes because of the negative verbal
comments that people said to me. As I became older, I begin to gain weight and have a more
womanly shaped physique. I am still conscious about my body image and pay attention to it. I
do not get called skinny, boney, and other mean names about my size anymore.
Most people think of their childhood and early adolescent years as being the most fun
years of their life, but that is not the case for me. My mother was always strict upon the things
that I could and could not do. I barely went out with my friends and did not get a chance to do
all the things that most teens do. My first date with a guy was when I was seventeen years old
and it was at his prom. Most of the time I appreciate my mom being strict because it prevented
me from doing bad things that could happened to teens from not having boundaries. I missed
out on going to the movies, bowling, skating and other things that most teens do with their
friends on the weekends. Well at least I still have my life because while trying to have fun there
are many tragic events that have happened to teens. I can literally count all the outings I did as
a teenager with my friends. Some people would tell me that I was going to be very active and
experiencing everything once I became the legal age of eighteen because of having a strict
parent. But that was not part of my story to tell about my effects of my adolescent
experiences. I am mostly a home body and do not go out much, but I like to enjoy myself while
being a young adult. I do love to have fun and go to parties every once in a while. I can count
how many college parties I have attended since I been at Wayne State.
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My best experiences started during my late adolescent years, which was around the
age of 18. Late adolescence begins around the age of 18 and continues up to approximately
22 years of age (Ashford & Lecroy, 2010, p. 417). I was extremely happy when I graduated
from high school and was tremendously excited to start college at Wayne State University. I
was highly excited to move out of my mother house and be on my own. I wanted to be able to
be independent and get the freedom that I deserved. My mother was strict during my early
adolescent years, so that motivated me to want to leave as soon as I received the chance.
During late adolescence, two developmental tasks are considered are considered important:
independence from the family, and the development of personal identity (Ashford & Lecroy,
2010, p. 417). This stage is considered part of the identity versus identity confusion, which is
one of Erik Erikson theories. This theory displayed why I went through a stage of wanting
independence and my own personal identity.
In adolescence, more complete friendships begin to develop (Ashford & LeCroy, 2010,
p. 450). During my early and middle adolescence I had a strong bond with my female best
friends. We talked on the phone for hours every day and spent time being over each other
house sometimes. During my late adolescence I started to be less intimate with my current
friends due to them not being loyal. Some of the friends that I have now, I have been friends
with them since I was a freshman at Wayne State and I still do not give them the title of Best
Friend. I had a couple bad experiences of people having that title and abusing it. I think based
upon my experiences in my adolescent years with my friends has shaped the relationship that I
have with my present friends. The theory that explains why this is true is the social learning
theory. This theory is by Alberta Bandura and he believed that people can process information
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to actively influence how the environment controls them (Ashford & LeCroy, 2010, p. 92). An
important idea that Bandura created about social learning theory is the notion of self-efficacy.
Self efficacy refers to a persons belief about his or her ability to perform behaviors that lead
to expected outcomes (Ashford & LeCroy, 2010, p. 92). My experiences with my friends during
my early and middle adolescent years had an impact upon my behavior with my current college
friends. The expected outcome with my current friends is that my friends will probably be like
my past friends, which was not being loyal. I have a good relationship with my friends, but I do
not give anyone the title of being a best friend because of my past experiences.
During my early, middle, and late adolescent years I experienced many changes and
dealt with issues that had a huge impact upon my personality. Contemporary research shows
that adolescence is a product of biological, psychological, and social forces (Berk, 2008, p.
310). Some of my life changing experiences were my father being incarcerated, a lot of teen
responsibilities, my self-perception about my body image, and lack of loyal friendship. My
adolescent events, struggles, and experiences shaped the person that I am in my early
adulthood. My adolescence years were an important stage of development because it helped
me transition from being a child to a young adult. My adolescent years were significant and
life changing.



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References

Ashford, J. B. & LeCroy, C. W. (2010). Human Behavior in the Social Environment: A
Multidimensional Perspective (3rd ed.). Belmont CA: Wadsworth/Thomson
Learning.
Berk, E. L. (2008). Exploring Lifespan Development. (1
st
ed.) Boston: Allyn and Bacon Course