Passport to Limp-lico

Here's another one from the madness called Great Britain I've been waiting three weeks now for
my new passport to arrive. And this morning it did!
Bt gess what ! the delivery man woldn't let me have it ntil I showed him both my driving
license A"# my passport!
$I can show yo my driving license%& I said. $Bt not my passport% I'm afraid.&
$I'm sorry sir% I need both forms of I.#.&
$'ell% let me have the envelope and I'll get my new passport ot and show it yo.&
$I'm sorry sir bt I need to see yor I.#. Before I can hand anything over.&
Hmmmm% I thoght if I have to kill him for being an idiot% withot a passport I can't even flee
the contry!
He looked at me with obstinate brain!dead eyes% a man of athority in a big yellow safety (acket and
waterproof pants.
)o% I changed my tack and asked if two hosehold bills wold do the (ob*
He pondered% then checked something on his hand!held delivery man's compter% pondered some
more% poked his hairy ear with his delivery man's electronic pen% looked at the envelope% pondered
then said+ $It really needs to be yor driving license and yor passport it's the rles.&
,he spectre of death loomed heavy over his head again and this time perhaps he sensed it he
plled himself p to his fll five feet three inches% rocked a little on his big rbber safety boots and
said+ $I'm very bsy sir% there are people waiting for their passports so% nder the circmstances I'll
accept two hosehold bills bt in ftre I wold advise ...&
He rambled on pomposly abot the rles and didn't even notice as I went back into the hose to
find some alternative forms of I.#.
I fond two bills bt nfortnately they were in my wife's name. I took a chance and presented them
to him - he looked at them blindly% handed me his delivery man's electronic pen and held ot his
delivery man's compter to sign.
I scribbled on it '.o /oron!&
He handed over my passport% thanked me for my co!operation% (mped into his little yellow
delivery van and drove off into his own little world of delivering things.