'The Chelsea Affect'

Arthur Miller
'The Chelsea in the Sixties seemed to combine two atmospheres: a scary optimistic chaos which predicted the hip future,
and at the same time the feel of a massive, old-fashioned, sheltering family. That at least was the myth one nursed in
one's mind, but lie all myths it did not altogether stand inspection. ' Arthur Miller on surviving life in the Chelsea
Hotel.
I decided to move to the Chelsea in 1960 for the privacy I as promised. It seemed a onderfully out!of!the!ay place"
nearly a slum" here no#ody ould #e li$ely to #e loo$ing for me. It as soon after Marilyn and I parted" and some of
the press ere still occasionally trac$ing me" loo$ing for the dirt in a half!hearted ay. A friend ho I ould later marry
had done photos for a #oo$ on %enice #y Mary McCarthy and Mary had recommended the Chelsea as a cheap #ut
decent hotel. &Mary of course hated my or$" #ut that's neither here nor there.' My friend" Inge Morath" ho normally
lived in (aris" had stayed there for short periods of or$ in America" and found it sha##y #ut" to say the least" informal.
')o#ody ill #other you there"' she assured me.
*he oner" Mr +ard" shoed me a nely redecorated si,th!floor apartment overloo$ing the par$ing lot &since covered
#y an apartment house' #ehind the hotel. *he par$ing lot is important.
I did not $no -uite hat to ma$e of Mr +ard. A #lue!eyed Hungarian .e" short and ith a rather clear" delighted
round face" full of energy" he aved a hand over the room saying" '/verything is perfect. All the furniture is #rand ne"
ne mattresses" drapes... 0oo$ in the #athroom.' As e al$ed to the #athroom I noticed a orn path don the middle
of the carpet and hat felt li$e coal dust crunching under my shoes. '*he carpet"' I started to say" #ut he cut me off. 'A
ne carpet is coming tomorro"' he said ith raised inde, finger" and one $ne he had not thought of replacing the
carpet until that very minute. He turned on #oth sin$ faucets and pointed proudly to the ater pouring out. '+rand ne
faucets" also in the shoer. +ut #e careful in the shoer" the cold is hot and the hot is cold. Mr 1at2"' he said. 3e
returned to the living room and stood there.
'3hat a#out Mr 1at24' I as$ed.
'He does the plum#ing. 5ometimes" he...' Again he #ro$e off and said" '5o hat do you say4' +efore I could anser" he
continued" 'I guarantee you no#ody ill $no you're living here. A maid comes every day. 5ome days hen I feel
don" may#e you'd li$e to 6oin me" I go fishing in Croton 7eservoir.' 8ne almost $ne hat Mr +ard as tal$ing
a#out" #ut not -uite. He #egan to remind me of a oman I $ne in Coney Island ho used go out at night and steal
radiators from construction sites for a ne upper storey she and her hus#and ere illegally adding to her house. *o her
son's o#6ections she ould reply" '+ut they have so many.' *he ay she said it seemed reasona#le. Mr +ard had a similar
talent for overriding pro#a#ility" an emotional fluency hich sent his thoughts on sallo loops from su#6ect to su#6ect"
a progressive" enthusiastic vie of life. In a ord" anarchy. '*he furniture is all ne.'
'9ou told me"' I said. In fact" it as ra" south!of!the!#order furniture" :uatemalan may#e" or outer ;ueens" and I
gingerly touched a #ureau #ut than$fully the varnish as dry.
3ithin a ee$ the gossip columns" as I half e,pected" ere reporting my ne a#ode" and friends in /urope noted the
same great nes in some Continental and +ritish papers. '*hat's too #ad"' Mr +ard said hen I confronted him" 'e did
our #est not to mention it. /very#ody.'
'/very#ody hat4'
'3ho e told not to mention it.'
'Including the nespapers.'
'Including the nespapers" hat4'
'3ho you told not to mention it.'
He thought that as funny and laughed. I laughed too. I as getting into the sing of things. I had heard a rumour that
he had on the hotel in a high!sta$es card game played in the )e 9or$er Hotel hich had also changed hands a fe
times as a result of the game.
<espite par#oiling myself in the shoer a fe times I #egan to li$e the hotel" or at least some of the residents" or
deni2ens as some li$ed to call themselves. 9ou could get high in the elevators on the residue of mari6uana smo$e. '3hat
smo$e4' Mr +ard ould as$ indignantly. Allen :ins#erg as ha$ing his ne !uc "oumaga2ine in the lo##y
sometimes" 3arhol as shooting film in one of the suites" and a young oman ith eyes so cra2y that one remem#ered
them as #eing a#ove one another" ould sho up in the lo##y no and then" distri#uting a ream of mimeographed
curses on male people hom she accused of destroying her life and everything good" and threatening to shoot a man
one of these days. I had a serious tal$" or hat I too$ to #e one" ith Mr +ard and his son 5tanley ho as gradually
ta$ing over" #ut they pooh!poohed the idea of her doing anything rash. As I sloly learned" they ere simply not
interested in #ad nes of any $ind. 8f course she shot 3arhol to days later as he as entering the lo##y from =>rd
5treet" aiming for his #alls. +ut this only momentarily distur#ed the even tenor of the Chelsea day" hat ith everything
else going on.
Anyay" it as certainly more gemuetlich than living in a real hotel. In the early 5i,ties truc$ers still too$ rooms
ithout #aths on the second floor and par$ed their immense rigs out front overnight" and the Automat as still on the
corner of ?th. *here I often had #rea$fast ith Arthur C. Clar$e" ho in his dry @nitarian!minister manner tried to
e,plain to me hy hole ne populations ould soon #e living in space. Aeigning interest in this a#surdity I ondered
hat the point of living in space ould #e. '3hat as the point of Colum#us anting to cross the ocean4' I supposed he
as right" #ut not really. Meantime at ta#les around us numerous street people ere hugging their coffee mugs to delay
e6ection into rain and ind" and ould ultimately drive the Automat out of the area ith their unappeti2ing ear and
nose!pic$ing" -uic$ fights" copious coughing fits and e,hausted deep sleeps from hich the manager could sometimes
not aa$en them. At the time I dou#t that either Clar$e or I registered the strange contrast #eteen his cloudy space!
tal$ and the grimy Automat reality. +ut unli$e space it as the reality that ould soon disappear from pu#lic vie"
tuc$ed aay in shelters for the homeless.
8ne could tell ho #ad the eather as #y having a #rief chat ith a gaunt" si,!and!a!half!foot tall minister"
denomination un$non" ho" in his perpetual an$le!long and droopy raincoat" seemed to appear in daylight only after it
had #een raining or snoing for several days. He had the e,aggerated reactions of a man living alone ith mice and one
light #ul#" leaping forard to grasp a proffered handsha$e ith a simultaneous deep #o of o#eisance. He alays ore
the same eviscerated #lac$ tie" hose lining hung loose" and harassed #lac$ suit" his pant cuffs flapping high a#ove his
#ul#ous shoes" and rose to his toes ith each loping stride" a man of fifty or so" ith a sympathetic if dour e,pression
hich fairly e,ploded ith instant gratitude to anyone at all ho addressed him. He carried a #lac$ doctor's satchel" not
for thermometer and stethoscope #ut for a prayer #oo$ and a once!hite" no yelloing" satin stole hich he ould
drape over his shoulders for the funerals he speciali2ed in presiding over" deprived as he as of a church or income. *he
orse the eather the more fre-uent the funerals" and after a ee$ or to of free2ing rains one came to e,pect a certain
#right #usinessli$e e,pression in his face. 'Ho's it coming4' I ould as$ as the clan$ing elevator rose.
'8h" 6ust fine" 6ust fine"' he ould intone.
'*ough eather.'
'8h" yes" yes indeed"' he ould reply" his contentment #arely disguised" the ater dripping off his #lac$ hat on to his
#ron grocery #ag ith its cele#ratory #ulge.
/uropeans soon #egan shoing up" e,pecting :od $nos hat adventures in this cele#rity artists' hotel they'd read
a#out" and some 6ust as -uic$ly fled in polite panic. 8ne of these" a :erman #usinessman" told me" 'It's li$e a certain
$ind of hotel in (aris"' and added" 'in fact" a little too much li$e it.' +ut for many it met their e,pectationsB it as
thrilling to $no that %irgil *homson as riting his nasty music revies on the top floor" and that those canvases
hanging over the lo##y ere #y 0arry 7ivers" no dou#t as rent" and that the hollo!chee$ed girl on the elevator as
%iva and the hollo!eyed man ith her as 3arhol and that scent you caught as mari6uana.
+ut more important for me as that my shoes ere still grinding the grit in the carpet. 7ose" the maid" came every day"
as promised" and aved at things. 5he had a carpet seeper #ut al$ed a#out the apartment pulling it #ehind her as she
smo$ed. *hese things are never of importance until" as though from nohere" a $ind of pointless rage enters the mind
and one finds oneself yelling into the phone" 'Aor Christ's sa$e" 5tanley" don't you have a vacuum cleaner in the houseC'
'8f courseC 3e have lots of them.'
'*hen hy aren't they ever used4'
'*hey're not used4'
'5tanleyC 9ou $no goddamned ell they don't use themC'
'I never heard of such a thingC 3hy don't they use them4'
'9ou're as$ing me hy they don't use them4'
'3ell" you're the one ho #rought it up.'
'0oo$" 6ust get a vacuum cleaner up here and let's forget this conversation.'
'Aine. Ho are you otherise4'
'*ruthfully" there is no otheriseDall I am is a man aiting desperately for a vacuum cleaner.' And he ould laugh"
grateful for another happy tenant.
A fateful" rather ama2ing delivery of a ne roll of carpet as made one morning. It as left temporarily in the lo##y
here deni2ens stopped to stare at it as the first ne o#6ect many of them had ever seen entering the Chelsea. Its si2e
and heft #eing central to a grasp of the succeeding events" it may #e descri#ed as a#out four feet in height and a#out a
yard in diameter" its eight pro#a#ly over E00 pounds. It as destined for the second!floor corridor and after some
hours as deposited up there aaiting the installers ho ere to come the ne,t day. Its arrival suggested a possi#le ne
reformist management attitude hich had distur#ing implications for someB for one thing" it might mean the #uilding
as to #e fi,ed up. *his ould surely raise rents and send some unimproved tenants into the street.
+ut the ne carpet roll as especially inspiring for Mendel 7u#in" the #uilding 'engineer'" a #ul$y" #enign" .eish e,!
Marine private" ho dared hope no that some of the #elo!stairs e-uipment hich he as forever nursing might also
#e replaced. +eteen #outs ith his oil #urners" Mendel ould occasionally surface to help hang pictures in the lo##y
or stri$e up little time!passing artistic conversations ith the guests. 0earning of the astronomical sums 7ivers got for
his or$" Mendel sa no reason not to #egin scri##ling designs of his on on leftover linoleum tiles he had found in
the #asement" splashing them ith orange" green and #lac$ paint from leftover cans don there. *hese tiles he ould
display here and there in the lo##y" and a lady visitor from Iceland" I thin$" or possi#ly )e Fealand #ought several"
and paid him in money. He ould never #e the same. All his time no as spent on his tiles and he even managed to
have a sho in a donton gallery. I never $ne ho or hy he disappeared from the hotel" #ut #efore he did he
confided in me a deep and a#iding hatred of the house detective hom he as sure as a phoney" something hich
ould turn outDas ill shortly #e e,plainedDto have a profound connection ith the ne roll of carpet.
*he Chelsea in the 5i,ties seemed to com#ine to atmospheresG a scary and optimistic chaos hich predicted the hip
future" and at the same time the feel of a massive" old!fashioned" sheltering family. *hat at least as the myth one
nursed in one's mind" #ut li$e all myths it did not altogether stand inspection. *he idea of family had limits. @nless one
as drugged out" or spending one's days putting paint on canvas" ords on paper" chisels on stone" or singing operatic
arias at the piano" one found it difficult to hold 5tanley's attention. In fact" I cannot recall a single real #usinessman!
guest" although some of that type may have fre-uented the regular all!night card games" li$e the one hich caused a #it
of a rum#le hen to hold!up men stationed themselves outside the room and ro##ed the happy inners as they
emerged into the hallay. +ut such mishaps ere rare and ould #e denied #y the management even though it gave the
place a certain panache" or relief from real life's ordinary constraints. It as not" one thought" that 5tanley cultivated
eird people" potheaded laya#outs and some e,traordinary as ell as mor#idly futile artistic types" #ut simply that he
seemed to thin$ these dreamers ere normalB it as the regular people ho made him uneasy. In any case" it as a
general rule that hen something eird happened" no#odyDnot 5tanley" not the des$ man or the phone operator or
MendelDould ever really $no -uite hat it as all a#out" and so a $ind of fog of e,hausted en-uiry suffused the
place.
3hat certainly did happen as 1leinsinger" ho had moved into the Chelsea from a regulation su#ur#an marriage" and
got girls #y $eeping a fisheries e,hi#it in his roomB in enormous glass tan$s rising nearly to the ceiling strange 5outh
American fish floated" some of them armoured ith pearly scales and iry antennae aving up from their heads. In
ample cages large sna$es lounged" vipers plotted" eird Ama2on turtles ith long snouts stared motionlessly" spec$led
(atagonian li2ards and an occasional small mon$ey made smells. )o and again a sna$e ould escape and the hole
hotel ould #e on its $nees loo$ing under #eds. A #lind couple in the rooms ne,t to mine had to have Mendel 7u#in
scour their apartment" and not $noing ho to call sna$es he searched the closets calling '(sss" pss' as to a lost cat.
1leinsinger's pleasure as to e,cite his guests" particularly ladies" #y opening his door for them ith a fat co#ra!li$e
reptile draped over his shoulders. He composed music" mainly for documentaries no" although he had #egun as a
riter of concert pieces and in the far distant past" I thin$" (opular Aront oratorios. 1leinsinger had a merry smile" a
de#onair manner and a rac$ing smo$er's cough. He had left the su#ur#s to live on the edge and the last time I sa him"
shortly #efore he died" he as sprinting don =>rd 5treet in shorts and running shoes pursuing health and his youth"
trailing heavy smo$e from a long cigar and nodding pleasantly to neigh#ourhood ac-uaintances along the ay.
*he Chelsea" hatever else it as" as a house of infinite toleration. *his as the +ards' genius" I thought" to have
achieved an operating chaos hich at the same time could #e home to people ho ere not cra2y. I rote most of #fter
the !all there and our daughter had her first #aths in the $itchen sin$. %irgil *homson offered lethal martinis to his
occasional guests" and Arthur Clar$e doggedly charted the ne,t millennium in his room. *here ere also" tragically"
people at the end of their rope andering the corridors or the elevators at midday in py6amas" one of hom" according
to many of his peers" had #een the finest designer of omen's clothes America had ever produced" Charles .ames.
*hat he as deeply trou#led as o#vious" his helpless desperation ritten across his eyes. He as a #road!faced man in
his si,ties" still -uite strong" I thought" and intelligent" #ut occasionally forgetful enough to start out into the street in his
sleeping clothes. 1ennedy had 6ust #een murdered hen e happened on one another in a corridor" and he held on to
my hand and said" 'Is this the #eginning of the end4' and loo$ed at me intently" as though the #ullets had #arely missed
him.
*he place" in fact" reminded me of )evada in the early 5i,ties and still does. *here as a similar $ind of misfittedness
a#out so many of the people ho had either dropped out or never entered the normal ruts here most human traffic
flos. (oor +rendan +ehan as staying there for a couple of months at the point in his life hen he seemed casually
amused #y death's closeness" no different in this than Charles .ac$son's depressive sadness #efore he ended his life in
his room &in 196H" tenty!four years after he pu#lished The $ost %eeend'" or <ylan *homas's gallant sim toard a
private cataract of alcohol that ould catch him at last and fling him don on the roc$s #elo. +ut here there are
artists there ill #e suicides. It had alays stuc$ me as odd" ho glamorous a num#er of riters thought )e 9or$ as.
Aor me" #orn on 11=th 5treet and *hird Avenue" the city as certainly the orld's most interesting place #ut surely not a
field of diamonds glittering under the moon" filled as it as ith mere people rather than infinite possi#ilities. +ehan
seemed star!struc$" putting in a lot of time in nightclu#s earing a proper suit and tie and uncor$ing Irish stories and
one!liners that ould #e printed ne,t morning in 0eonard 0yons's column" even as he as dancing as fast as he could
toard his dying. I came on him one afternoon standing outside on the sideal$ in #rilliant sunshine" happily tal$ing to
some oman hile an unnoticed tric$le of vomit dropped from the corner of his mouth on to his tie right through his
speech. 8ne morning" surprisingly" he called to invite me up to the choreographer (earl (rimus's room for a spot of
#rea$fast" and I found him so#er then ith lots of uneaten food in front of him. 5he" verita#le #lac$ earth mother" as
o#viously trying to feed and repair this man hom she hardly $ne #ut hose plays she had admired" attempting to
tuc$ his nap$in into his collar as ith a moc$!lordly ave of his hand toard her living room" he said" 'My second
homeC' <ylan li$eise had ended here" helpless in the hands of an adoring oman. +ehan &one is tempted to add ':od
save him'' seemed a rather patched!together personality of several colours #y this time" I thought" hat ith his
desperate" heedless lunging #ac$ards toard a passing fame that re-uired the image of the happy!go!luc$y" late!rising"
de#onair Irishman" all on a sic$ stomach. +alancing himself li$e a #ully #oy on feet spaced apart and rapping out slang
li$e a or$er!chap" he as in actuality a son of middle!class Irish people. 3hen I sat ith him at #rea$fast that
morning" he turned to me and said" apropos nothing in particular" '9ou're a real playright" #ut I'm not. I 6ust scri##led
some dialogue a couple of times...' and #ro$e off ith a surge of anguish hich he deflected ith" '+ut e're all #orn
and dead in a day" aren't e.' 3hen I said I had #een moved #y his &orstal &oy and The 'ostage" he #rightened
gratefully #ut aved it all aay nonetheless. In his morning so#riety he seemed to cease concealing something crushed
in his gut" the 6o$ing as gone" silence reigned ithin him and it seemed terri#le that people ere in effect encouraging
him to drin$ and perform his cute Irish act ith his salivating #rogue hich Americans adore.
3herever he ent in the evenings" there as a #ig Irish ha!ha!haC +ut on that morning" in the light pouring on to him
through the tall old indos from over =>rd 5treet" his fair s$in as #lotched" and the tremor noticea#le in his
remar$a#ly small and delicate hands. His hair as still et and not so much com#ed as patted don and I supposed he
had made a play at freshening up for my visit. If his condition called for pity" I still could not help recalling that his Irish
friend and #odyguard" ho stayed close to his side from morning till night" had gotten fed up ith him starting #ar
fights hich" the #odyguard claimed" he as left to finish. *he man as most pro#a#ly 6ealous of hat he sa as
+ehan's undeserved literary fame" for he turned out to have a #oo$ of his on he as trying to get pu#lished" #ut in any
case he had confided one evening at the #ar donstairs that +rendan had a small child over in .ersey and as still
#edding the mother even though he suspected that he had syphilis. 3as this" I had to onder" hy he as so patently
$illing himself ith drin$4 8r as it all a galloping nightmare he could no longer decipher" #orn of the painful irony of
his notoriety in )e 9or$ groing precisely hen he $ne he could not face riting a ne play or anything else any
more4
0eaving +ehan that morning it seemed odd that it as here in the Chelsea" ten years #efore" that I had found myself
commiserating ith another self!destroying alcoholic Celt" <ylan *homas. All +rendan could hope to do as perform a
#it longerB he had sloed to a sodden halt. <ylan had #een different" still pursued" so I thought" #y the guilt of his on
success hen a #eloved poet!father had failed to achieve any recognition for himself. 3hen <ylan stood" still young"
roundish and cherry!chee$ed" #efore the orshipful audience in the school auditorium on Irving (lace" one hand
gripping the podium to steady himself" his lilting voice" a musical instrument" leading us all ith unearthly assurance
into his fields and dreams and village streets" one heard something very ancient and mysteriously grave. His as a voice
echoing out of stone crypts and things #uried" and he appeared to me a man chosen to carry some lost spirit #ac$ into
the orld rather than a mere riter scrounging for a ord or theme. Hearing him I $ne hat a #ard as" and that he
as dying of no disease as he sang for coins and the pleasure of strangers as terri#le and strange. *he Chelsea's alls
could tell a lot a#out the self!loathing of talented people.
'Move #ac$C 7ent freeC I have a onderful apartment for youC' It as 5tanley +ard greeting me" years after e had
ceased to live in the hotel. /very year or so I found myself dropping in hen I as in the neigh#ourhood to chat ith
him and" I confess" sip again a little of the spirit of the place. +ut not too much.
'3hy don't you ant to live here4' he ould demand more and more insistently as the years ent #y. )o he as a
grey!haired middle!aged man and his father as long gone and his on son as #eginning to ta$e over" threatening to
clean up the place and even remodel parts of it.
'+ecause I li$e surprises #ut not here I'm living"' I said. '0i$e hen that girl got shot on the seventh floor...'
'3hat girl4' He as genuinely flummo,ed.
'*he prostitute ho got one eye and a finger shot off.'
'I never heard of such a thingC' he said" really and truly outraged #ut at the same time smiling emptily as though at a
remar$ he really could not understand. 3hy did people continue telling such storiesC Managing the Chelsea as li$e
managing a forest here little fires $ept #rea$ing out.
'3ell" it doesn't matter"' I said.'3hat's happening these days4'
')othing. It's nice and -uiet. And e're full.'
3e ere sitting in his office hose geography is indescri#a#ly complicated. (art of it is in one room and another part is
as though in another room #ehind a glass partition hich stands at one end #ut doesn't separate anything from anything
else. And one dares not as$ hat the partition is for lest the e,planation ansers nothing and only distresses the mind.
*he furniture as late Mc1inley" a treasure trove of discarded dar$ oa$ des$s and sun$en!#ottomed chairs and ancient
heavy electric fans and ooden filing ca#inets. Aor no reason I thought of .ames" the designer.
'7emem#er hat's!his!name!.ames" the designer4'
'5ure. 3ait a minute...' *he phone had rung. I found an old (ew "or Times on the floor and pic$ed it up and #egan
reading it. I could not remem#er any of this nes" it as li$e a future nespaper telling of things that hadn't happened
yet. 5uddenly 5tanley as shouting into the phone.
')o 6ust a minute" /thel...no" ait no" I have something to sayC 9ou are not coming #ac$. I don't care" e are not
having that $ind of #usiness here and you $no hat I'm tal$ing a#out...'
A #eautifully dressed young oman al$ed in.
'5tanley...4'
'(lease shut up a minute" darling"' he said to this ne arrival" ho indignantly thre up her head and stamped her foot
ith one fist pressing into her hip.
'9ou heard hat I said" /thel"' 5tanley continued into the phone" 'this is final" I don't ant you here any more" darlingC'
And hung up.
'3here is my money4' the #eautiful young oman as$ed.
')o listen to me" +ernice" I am not your father" I have no money for you till the first of the monthC'
'*he first of the monthC' +ernice" earing >"000 dollars' orth of #eige suit and matching #oots and an enormous hite
#eret" had an angelic" ealthy face ith frightening green eyes that at the moment had murder in them.
'3hat am I supposed to doC I've got a tenty dollar #ill to my nameC' A little girl's plaint as in her voice no.
'Airst of the month" +ernice" that's all I can tell you. I have no money for you till then. )o please leave me alone.'
+ernice as in tears no" so##ing.
'I'm not listening"' 5tanley said and turned to me. '.ames" you mean4' he said. '.ames died a couple of years ago.'
+ernice continued to stand there" eeping into an em#roidered hand$erchief.
'(athetic man at the end"' I said" ignoring +ernice 6ust as 5tanley as doing" sensing as I did that hile her anguish as
real it as still a performance" repeated" no dou#t" every fe ee$s. 'He used to complain a#out ho you ere treating
him.'
'Ho I as treating him4 3hy4 Ho did I treat him4' And he suddenly remem#ered something. '3aitC I have a
onderful letter from him...' And he turned his sivel chair and faced the Chelsea filing system" a stac$ of yelloing
paper rising at least four feet high from the top of his des$. 'It's right here someplace...' He peered at the hundreds of
sheets piled up #efore him" raised his hand and ith forefinger and thum# delicately dre out a sheet" glanced at it and
handed it to me. 'Here it is. 7ead.'
5till impressed ith his lightning retrieval system" much faster than any computeri2ed one" I too$ the paper" a
handritten letter" as his phone rang again. +ernice had meanhile andered out into the lo##y to hol. *he phone
continued ringing as he e,plained a#out her. '*hey're a very ell!to!do family" #ut she's on drugs" so I'm not supposed to
give her money e,cept on the first of the month.'
'9ou're in charge of her4'
')ot in charge" I 6ust...' He shrugged at this" yet another unansera#le Chelsea -uestion" not sure hat his function as
e,cept that he as stuc$ ith it. He pic$ed up the phone" and hile I read the letter he as no yelling into it" '/thel"
you are #othering meC' And hung up again" his #enign face neither #lanched nor reddened #y hat must have #een
anger.
*he letter from the late .ames as a frontal attac$ on 5tanley for having demanded a rent rise hen he $ne that .ames
could no longer earn very much and" from the sound of it" might have #een on elfare. .ames mi,ed outrage ith
pathetic pleading" '9ou are destroying meC' and so on.
*he phone rang again and he pic$ed it up and slammed it don. 'I can't stand cra2y omen"' he said. And pointing to
the letter" ith a #enign smile spreading over his face" said" '9ou see4'
'Have you read this letter" 5tanley4' I as$ed.
His face clouded. '8f course I read it. He loved it here. He'd #een here years and years. It as the #est hotel in the
orld" he used to say.'
'He says you ere destroying him.'
5natching the letter he said" '<estroying himC' Clearly" he as remem#ering no as he glanced don at the handriting.
'+ut loo$" see hat he says don here4'
He held the letter in front of me" pointing don at the #ottom of it" and read aloud" 'I%ery sincerely yoursI. 9ou see4'
And he slapped the letter lightly ith the #ac$s of his fingers" his case made. )o he sat #ac$ and smiled his old
friendly smileB '.ames loved it here. 5o listen" I'm serious. I'll give you the apartment rent free if you'll live here. At least
loo$ at it.'
'I couldn't live here again even if I had to pay rent"' I said" #ut he didn't get the 6o$e. :od $nos hy" #ut I soon found
myself ith him on one of the to elevators that as or$ing that day and up e ent to the seventh floor here
painters ere or$ing in a large" high!ceilinged apartment.
'All the furniture is ne" even the #athroom faucets...' Here I as again" over tenty years after the first demonstration I
had attended ith his late father" #eing invited to e,amine the #athroom faucets. 3as this clan fated to go on forever
reproducing itself and repeating the same things4 A hundred years from no ould a +ard #e shoing the #rand ne
faucets to some hapless possi#le tenant4 <epressed #y these thoughts and their intimations of mortality" I had
nevertheless to agree that it as indeed a lovely apartment although the porcelain had #een ru##ed off the refrigerator
door" #ut I $ne that there alays had to #e a certain remnant of sha##iness lest it turn into a real hotel that no#ody
ould particularly care to live in. 'And loo$ ho -uiet"' 5tanley held up one hand as though conducting the silence.
'It's a terrific apartment" #ut...'
'*hin$ a#out it is all I as$. 9ou ever hear -uiet li$e this in )e 9or$4 9ou're in )e 9or$" ould you #elieve it4' He
coc$ed an ear.
I had to confess it as in fact e,tremely -uiet" $noing as I did that the ancient alls ere a couple of feet thic$. 3e
descended to the lo##y" and stepping out of the elevator 5tanley as continuing his peace and -uiet theme" '9ou could
concentrate here" no#ody ould #other you...' My eye caught the strange sight of a deep pile of #ro$en glass lying 6ust
inside the dooray to the street. Crossing the lo##y e #oth reali2ed that the glass doors ere gone" collapsed into this
pile at our feet. 5tanley" his +uddhistic e,pression intact e,cepting for the panic draing tight the edges of his eyes"
called to the des$ cler$ ho promptly came around and addressed him.
'I don't $no hat happened"' the cler$ said. I couldn't #e sure if the man as in still in shoc$ or if he alays loo$ed so
pale and hauntingly surprised.
'3hat do you mean you don't $no hat happened" the doors are goneC'
'3ell" some guy stopped on the sideal$ and too$ out a pistol and shot them.'
'3hat do you mean" Ishot themI4 He shot the doors4'
'He shot the doors and they crumpled.'
'3hy ould he shoot the doors" for :od's sa$eC' 5tanley raised his voice" almost accusingly.
'Ho do I $no4 I seen him crossing on the sideal$ and he stops and ta$es out the gun and #angC And he al$s aay.'
5tanley" momentarily flummo,ed" stood there sha$ing his head. Another unansera#le Chelsea dilemma #eyond the
analytical reach of any mind. 8utside on the sideal$ the #lind couple had arrived and ith their hite al$ing stic$s
ere feeling around in the #ro$en glass hich #loc$ed the entrance. 5tanley instantly stepped over the glass" and ta$ing
the oman's hand led her gently around the pile ith the man folloing #ehind" telling them not to orry" everything
as under control. Alone together again in his office" I said" '*his is hat I mean" 5tanley" it's too interesting here" I'd
never get any or$ done.'
'3ell" you alays stayed in your room" you never hung out in the lo##yB nothing's going to happen in your room. 3ill
you thin$ a#out it4'
'I ill do nothing else for the ne,t three months.' And he got the 6o$e this time and laughed" al#eit unhappily. His -uic$
changes reminded me of his attractiveness for many peopleDhe as a man of feeling" a passionate man. Along ith
some other -ualities" #ut after all #usiness is #usiness.
A spec$ of dust fell into my eye. I hoped it asn't glass and carefully or$ing the eyelid tilted my head #ac$" and up
near the ceiling the good eye spied a foot!s-uare hite linoleum tile ith red and #lue s-uiggles painted on it. Mendel
the MarineC
'3hatever happened to Mendel the Marine4' I as$ed.
*o immense cops al$ed in" no dou#t to tal$ a#out the shooting of the glass doors" and I left a very nervous 5tanley"
o#viously orried a#out some inevita#ly unfair pu#licity. Mendel's hatred for the house detective" #ac$ in the 5i,ties"
surfaced in memory as I stood in the lo##y aiting for to men to finish shovelling up the pile of glass. +ernice sat
near#y" o#livious" under a 0arry 7ivers painting" doing a crossord pu22le on a folded nespaper resting on her thigh. I
stared out to the street here" on a -uiet 5unday morning in spring" the last #efore 1ennedy as shot" I had managed to
loc$ my car $eys inside my +uic$'s trun$. *he des$ cler$ had suggested I call upstairs to the house detective ho" he
said" 'had lots of $eys'. He said this ith a private little grin hich I hadn't time or it to evaluate.
At eight!thirty on a 5unday morning the detective's sleep!clotted voice sounded deeply controlled #ut furious.
Apologi2ing" I told him my pro#lem and he said he'd #e don in half an hour or so" 'if you ant to ait'. As though I
could do anything else ith my ignition $ey in the car trun$. I had seen this fello once a#out a year earlier hen"
aiting to cross =>rd 5treet" I noticed a 5aa# ith its roof so collapsed that a telephone pole might have come don on
it. Its indshield as separated from the rest of the #ody leaving a gap through hich sno as falling on to the
driver's cap. His visor had a#out an inch of sno on it. Arriving at the hotel I sa the driver" ho I later learned as the
detective" unloading stuff from the car's trun$. 8ne side indo of the car as missing" hich did not $eep him from
carefully loc$ing its doors #efore going into the hotelB a man" I thought then" of deeply engraved loc$ing ha#its. *hat
as in inter. )o" on this lovely spring morning" he at last came don in his shirtsleeves carrying a steel ring a#out
the diameter of a fris#ee on hich ere hung a#out a hundred $eys. As he tried one $ey after the other in the trun$'s
loc$ I $ept silent ith sin$ing heart" $noing that they ere house $eys and ould never open a car loc$. 3e ended the
#usiness #y #oth of us removing the #ac$ of the rear seat" permitting me to reach into the trun$ from inside the car. He
as a#out thirty" a trim #londe man ith a close military haircut and an unsmiling face even after I gave him ten dollars
for his trou#le. It had seemed odd to me then that a detective ould not $no that ordinary house $eys ere different
from ignition $eys" #ut again" at the Chelsea" the spirit of en-uiry soon e,hausted itself in anserless -uestions that
tric$led aay li$e a #roo$ in a desertDin this" come to thin$ of it" the place as a lot li$e life.
Indeed" on the morning after the famous roll of ne carpet as delivered and deposited on the second floor to aait the
installers" I emerged from the elevator to find three or four cops in the lo##y" #ut they ere not holding coffee
containers. Instead they seemed to #e or$ing" -uietly tal$ing among themselves. Advised #y my father at the age of
seven to alays stay aay from crods" I left" returning that afternoon to find Mendel the Marine selling a tile to some
lady ith a foreign accent" Ala#ama perhaps. Mendel caught up ith me as I as aaiting one of the or$ing elevators.
'<6a hear4'
'3hat.'
'*hey stole the carpet.'
*hat E00! or H00!pound roll of carpet gone4 <isappeared overnight4 *he des$ cler$ ould surely have seen it if it had
gone out the lo##y door. 8r had he #een in on it4 )o" impossi#le hen he as hardly five feet tall" painfully timid and
alays e,hausted. Ho then could so massive and heavy a thing have possi#ly left the #uilding4 7emoving an o#6ect of
that si2e and eight as a#out the e-uivalent of stealing a grand piano and moving it into the street ithout any#ody
noticing.
'8h" it can #e done"' said Mendel under his lip.
'Ho can it #e done4'
3ith a glance left and right for interlopers" he gave me a head signal to follo him into one of the elevators" the one that
as or$ing.
In the second floor corridor Mendel indicated an enormous indo at least ten feet high and perhaps si, feet ide that
loo$ed don on the unlighted par$ing lot #ehind the hotel. '*his is remova#le" frame and all"' he indicated the indo.
'*hen you #ac$ up a truc$ don there and drop the roll on to it and you're in li$e Alynn.'
'+ut ouldn't some#ody have heard4 In fact...' I suddenly recalled that the house detective had al$ed up the stairs from
the lo##y rather than ta$ing an elevator after my trun$ $ey misadventure. 'I had some idea he lived on one of these
loer floors.'
Mendel" straight!faced" raised a finger pointing at a door hich displayed half a do2en loc$s 6ust opposite the #ig
indo. '*he house detective lives right there.'
'Ah"' I said.
'9ou can say that again.'
'May#e he asn't home at the time.'
'*hat's rightB may#e he asn't. May#e this isn't even *uesday either.'
In the ee$s that passed" or monthsDI no longer recallDthe main drama of the period had #een the steady
disappearance from various rooms of typeriters" radios" air conditioners" televisions and even a fe pieces of 6eellery
and a valua#le atch or to. (olice had come and gone ith not a clue developing. 8ne morning smo$e #egan pouring
out of the room ne,t to the house detective's.
*he fire department put out the fire in a fe minutes" and folloing normal procedure as$ed 5tanley for the $ey to the
ad6oining room" hich happened to #e the detective's" to #e sure nothing as smouldering in there. 5tanley" of course"
had no $ey to the si, loc$s on the detective's door and the sleuth as aay at the time. *he firemen" under 5tanley's
protests" #ro$e don the door and entered the apartment. *here facing them ere shelves rising to the ceiling filled ith
a good selection of radios" typeriters" televisions" fur coats and other useful items. *he police ere aaiting the
detective on his return and he received a medium sentence" it as said" since he as not at all violent. Arom then on
until he disappeared" Mendel the Marine as nothing #ut smiles henever e ran into one another" a happy man" I
#elieve" for the rest of his life.
3ith all my misgivings a#out the Chelsea" I can never enter it ithout a certain -uic$ening of my heart#eat. *here is an
indescri#a#ly homeli$e atmosphere hich at the same time lac$s a certain credi#ility. It is some $ind of fictional place"
I used to thin$. As in dreams things are out front that are concealed in other hotels" li$e the ooden #ins in the corridors
in hich the gar#age pails are $ept" and for some un$noa#le reason this sort of candour seems so right that you smile
henever you pass the #ins. It may simply #e that no#ody is urgently concerned a#out hat is happening #ecause
no#ody -uite $nos hat is happening" or may#e there is a $ind of freedom or severe disconnect ith plain reality" or"
as the saying goes" a sense that the inmates have long since ta$en over the asylum" hich can #e irritating #ut perhaps
not altogether a #ad thing" at least in the spiritual sense. It may in fact #e as salutary a ay as any of running a pu#lic
place. +ut in recent months and years a ne determination to update has #egun to sho. 5tanley's son has come of age
and there is a ne carpet" ainscoting has #een revealed from under its age!old coats of paint. *he hole facade has
#een cleaned and restored to its long!o#literated %ictorian elegance. 8n a recent visit there to Arnold 3einstein ith
hom I have colla#orated on a li#retto for a ne opera #ased on # )iew from the &ridge" ith music #y 3illiam
+olcom" I found myself sin$ing #ac$" psychologically spea$ing" into my original arm feelings toard the hotel as of
my arrival there over forty years ago. And as e discussed some #usiness in the total chaos of his living room" hich is
not so much furnished as littered ith collectors' items suita#le for a massive 5alvation Army donation" the door to the
corridor sung open and ithout a $noc$ a poerful maid entered" her e,u#erant smile and glistening #lac$ s$in all
aglo ith some sort of triumph. And raising up over her head four rolls of toilet paper" to spi$ed on the fingers of
each hand" she called out at the top of her 6oyous contralto voice" 'I didn't forget you" ArnoldC' And he rose from his
o##ly chair and gratefully accepted her gift. And so I instantly $ne that clean facade or not" refur#ished lo##y
notithstanding" I as #ac$ in the Chelsea again.