The Breathtaking Hello

Everyone wants to know whats the FIRST thing I should say to her? Well, thats what
were going to cover here. You cant move things forward if you dont have her attention.
Unless, of course, you can convince the owner of the bar to lay a mi! of music with
embedded subliminal commands. "ut thats #ust lain creey. $nd % dont want you to be
creey & % want you to be bold.
'ets talk about what my goals are not when %m oening a conversation(making her like
me, trying to win her aroval, avoiding re#ection, being too nice )ensing a trend? %m
not trying to be a #erk, but a girl may think %m a butthead & which is somewhere on that
fine line between confidence and arrogance and has a lot to do with being bold and
having fun. $s *ifty +ent once said, ,a bold act creates its own favorable circumstances.-
.ne of the great fears which leads to aroach an!iety is that a man is not worthy of a
womans attention & that once he has it, hes going to mess things u. /art of this is that
he doesnt think that he himself deserves the womans attention 0and that issue is outside
of the scoe of this rogram & see Unbreakable for that1. 2he other art is that he doesnt
trust his skills. %td be like asking a total wim to be the )heriff of a tough town in the
.ld West. %f he didnt trust himself with a gun, itd hardly be fair to ask him to articiate
in a shoot3off at high noon.
2he good news for you is that the stakes arent nearly as high. 2he bad news is that, while
were not in the .ld West and no one is challenging you to a duel, you 4. have to
aroach girls at some oint in your life unless you wish to remain totally celibate.
5etting back to the oint at hand, youve got to be .6 with having a womans attention
on you. $'' of it. Youve got to be .6 with her evaluating you and feeling out your
,vibe-. Youve got to be .6 with her giving you a cold shoulder & maybe to be a bit of a
challenge, maybe for real. You have to be .6 with the fact that you might screw it u and
fumble & even with that girl youve had your eye on for awhile. Youve got to be .6 with
the fact that she could be really boring 0it haens more often than you think1. $nd
youve got to be .6 with the scariest thing of all & the ossibility that she might actually
think youre fun7cute7charming and that she would want to kee talking to you8
%f you cant be .6 with these things, youll find it mighty hard to aroach women. %n
fact, a surefire way to tell the difference between a guy who is e!erienced, and a guy
who is #ust blowing hot air, is how much the guy thinks he can control the outcome of the
interaction. 2he ,ros- have aroached enough women to know that they have little
control over the outcome, and theyre .6 with whatever comes their way.
$nother distinguishing trait of ros is that they relish the e!citement of having the
attention thrown on them. )ome think of it as a game, some as a cometition, and others
#ust really like women and to let their killer instinct out. %n any case, the sotlight of a
womans attention brings out their best 0if this is something you struggle with, the toic
was covered e!tensively in )ay 9ello +ourse : & lease revisit for a refresher, or ugrade
your order if necessary1.
2here are a lot of ways to cature a womans attention. You can ask them a ;uestion, or
#oin the conversation, introducing a new toic. You can make a ersonal statement 0like a
comliment1, a ersonal observation, or ask a ersonal ;uestion. You can start hitting
emotional buttons right away with your body language, your facial mannerisms, and
certainly your words.
$nd as a reminder & the more emotion you create, the ;uicker youll have to be. You
cant do7say one thing that creates a huge emotional sike, then return to being timid.
Emotions are like waves. 4ont #ust la at the sandy shores of her attention & create
something thats fun to ,surf-. $nd if you haen to create a 2sunami, you better be a
good swimmer, son. 'ets get into the material and see how it all lays out.
THE BOMBING OPENER
<y girlfriend hates this one & robably because she does not like to think of me as a crass
human being. "ut since %ve been using it for so long to great effect, and since this is the
2sunami of oening lines, %d be remiss to not share it with you.
2he whole oint of the bombing oener is to give you something that shocks a woman
and ossibly offends her sensibilities. =ote that thats different from ersonally offending
her & % dont want you getting slaed. =o, the resonse to this one should be a look of
shock, like ,is he actually saying this right now?- 2o kee with the water metahors,
starting your conversation with a bombing oener is like #uming into a ool of cold
water & it forces you to warm u ;uickly, rather than getting in slowly.
$nd it is *U= when you do it with your boys. %t becomes a challenge to see who can
come u with the most ridiculous oener, who gets the funniest resonses from the
women, and who can actually turn it around and make the conversation work.
$ bombing oener has never failed to get my night started right. %ts fun, its bold, and it
gets your blood moving.
.ener :( Hey ladies, listen my girlfriend is out of town this weekend and, well I was
wondering if youd be down for a threesome.
.ener >(Hey girls, Ive got a uestion. I I mean, my !friend," was wondering if si#e
really matters. $e%ause I, I mean my !friend" has been really afraid to get intimate with
a woman be%ause I.. uhy, he is so small.
What +omes =e!t( $ million things can haen. 5irls might look at you with disgust, but
more likely theyll resond with something to the effect of what did you #ust say? %n the
first e!amle, you could ush it further and say ,% mean, % could see it the moment %
aroached you two what a crush you have on each other, so if anything %m #ust trying to
hel you two live out the secret that neither of you wants to admit to-. 2rust me, thatll
get a kick out of that one.
.nce youve had a little bit of fun, you can back off and say ,hey %m #ust teasing & you
guys are good sorts, whats your names?- "ut you never know what the girls are going
to do with this one & %ve seen girls kiss each other, %ve had them challenge me in a fun
way 0,ok, but only if you film it-1 youve got to be recetive to whatever comes, as
this oener really draws out the heart of a girls ersonality.
.ne final oint that bears mentioning & you have to have a fun attitude when you say
these. $ girl once told me she could ,see the smile in my eyes.- $ guy who is a total
creebag and who delivers these disassionately will not lead to good things. )o have
*U=888
SITUATIONAL OBSERVATIONS
2hese account for many of the conversations that % start, and %ll tell you, they werent
easy to get good at. % sent a lot of time trying to figure out how to naturally come u
with sontaneous stuff that was relevant to the situation at hand. ,9mm the alligator
head on the wall at the dive bar what can % say about it that hasnt been said a thousand
times before?-
2hing is, you dont have to be overly clever. )ometimes, its not about coming u with
the most imressive thing to say in the world, but rather, getting words out of your
mouth. )o you can go for the easy shots.
$n easy shot would be commenting on what shes drinking, or noticing something about
her ersonal style that is cool, funky or se!y.
.ener :( Is that framboise youre drinking&
.ener >(Su'er(%ool bra%elet youve got on.
%n these cases, youre noticing something slightly different about her.
.ener ?( )an you tell me if these avo%ados are ri'e&
$n easy shot at the suer3market. @ust be comfortable with her attention8
%f you want to make things a little more fun, youve got to get absurd. % like to look for
fun and interesting interretations of the world around me. *or e!amle
.ener ?( Is this the line for the fire e*tinguisher& +it was the line for the bathroom,
whi%h was right ne*t to the fire e*tinguisher,
.ener A( -ou two are the #i''er %he%kers, right& +said to two girls who were standing at
the entran%e to the hallway to the bathroom,.
.ener B(This song ro%ks. This is the best high s%hool reunion ever. +if youre dan%ing
near a girl whos about your age, and a song %omes on from your high s%hool years,
9ow do you train yourself to do this? You can start with the +offee )ho 4rill. $nother
otion is to watch a lot of Cussell "rand videos on You2ube. "ut here are a few ointers
in the meantime for adding some witty, absurd charm to your sontaneous situational
oeners(
:.1 how can you misinterret the environment in a way that is obvious, but that no one is
thinking about?
>.1 how can you misinterret what the girl0s1 are doing in a way that is funny or silly?
$gain, % have some e!ercises for this stuff in Unbreakable, but for now, you can start
looking for fun and interesting oortunities for misinterretation. "ut whatever the case,
its better to get some words out there than to get erfect words out there, so dont get
hung u on being clever if thats holding you back from talking to women.
HER UNCONSCIOUS CONVERSATION
2his concet has been incredibly useful to me in starting conversations. You could call it
,emathy-, but its not so much about what someone is feeling as it is what theyre
thinking.
You want to ste into their head for a second and consider their thoughts. %f they could
oen their mouths right now and ta right into their unconscious mind, what would come
out of it? *or e!amle, standing in line at a drug store you catch a woman looking at this
weeks tabloid.
.ener :( That /indsay /ohan. Its 0ust so hard not to 'ay attention to her.
%f you were to ask her, at that very moment, to ut her unconscious thoughts to words,
you might hear something like that. .f course, youd follow it u with something like
,<e, %m more of a 2om +ruise stalker myself. %ll take scientology over drugs any day.-
You can layfully tease someone for having an unconscious conversation that isnt even
haening. *or e!amle, if a girl looks at you while youre assing her by on the street,
you could say(
.ener >( If youre gonna give a guy that look, you should say hello.
Her1 2hat /ook&
-ou1 2hat look& /ike a fat kid looking at an i%e %ream %one, thats what look.
$long those lines, if youre making eye contact with a girl at a bar, you can aroach her
and say(
.ener ?(I %ouldnt let you sit here all night without giving you the %han%e to get to know
me.
$gain, youre layfully teasing her for thinking something that was along the lines of
what she was thinking & but, with your own self3aggrandiDing delivery creates instant
drama and emotion.
You can also take the conversation in her head in a new, absurd direction. Earlier today, %
was sitting ne!t to a girl at a sushi bar. %t was an eic challenge to get the attention of the
guy behind the counter, and even when this girl was waving her debit card at him to ay
her bill, he wasnt coming over.
.ener A( Im 'retty sure that if you throw your debit %ard at him like a nin0a star, you
get a free meal if you lodge it dee' in his heart.
$ little macabre? )ure. "ut notice that % tuned into her frustration and imatience, and
came u with an absurd outlet for them in my oener. 9ang around me enough and youll
hear me say stuff like ,that sucks & we should electrocute them- or ,thats annoying, we
should feed them to alligators- when someone 0usually a cute girl1 is talking about
someone who annoys her. $lways good for a laugh.
When youre out and about, ask yourself (-whats going on in this ersons head right
now and what could % add onto it to make it funny?- Youll start develoing this skill in
no time flat.
JOINING THE CONVERSATION
Whereas reviously you were entering an unconscious conversation in a womans head
0good if youre aroaching one woman1 an easier ath is to enter the real conversation
going on in the real world 0good if youre aroaching two or more women1. You listen
in, try to find a hook, and then butt in with your thoughts, oinions and ;uestions. Easy,
right?
"roadly, when #oining a conversation, you retend that youre already ,in-, and use one
of two conversational conventions that are a foundation of my conversations( ,Yes,
$nd- 7 ,Yes, "ut-.
,Yes, $nd- involves agreeing with something that someone has said, and then taking
the conversation further in that direction. *or e!amle & ,yeah man, % love cigarettes,
love me some emhysema too-. .bviously, sarcasm there. .r ,yeah, you look hot in that.
so hot that were not going to make it out the door get over here baby.- /robably save
that one for your girlfriend. %n both cases, though, see how were agreeing with a
statement, then taking it further in that direction?
,Yes, "ut- involves agreeing with something that someone has said, then osing an
ob#ection. ,Yeah the movie was good but my date was so '$<E.- )ay this to a girl as
youre walking out of the theatre & #okingly, of course8
)ee how easy it is to be witty with Yes, $nd and Yes, "ut ?
=ow in matters of starting a convo, any time two 0or more1 women are getting chitty
chatty with each other at the bar, you can look for a hook and #oin the conversation. %t
usually goes best when you offer a new ersective 0yes, and1 or ose a ;uestion 0yes,
but1.
*or e!amle, lets say youre standing at a bar and two girls are talking about how hard
they should go out.
./E=EC :( So really the uestion is are you going out, or are you going 34T out&
$e%ause going 34T out is a whole different level of %ommitment.
We soon decided that they were, in fact, going .U2 out, shots were ordered, and we
sent the rest of the evening with these girls. %n this case, % used some cultural slang
0going .U2 out1 to make it fun. $nd its more or less a ,yes, but- inasmuch as its a
challenge.
"ut you dont have to get too fancy & you can be lain old fun instead. % was standing
nearby a grou who was discussing "raveheart.
./E=EC >( 5id I 0ust hear someone say $raveheart& +'ause,. 4h su'erhunk.
+laughter,. I guess the movie was ok too. +more laughter, of %ourse,.
% dont suggest adding too much gayness to your ersonality, but % find it very easy to #oin
a conversation if my words sound like theyre coming from ,one of the girls- at first.
)ometimes youll be standing ne!t to girls waiting for a drink, and one of them will be
talking to her friend about something that a guy said7te!ted7facebookd etc. to her. Eery
easy to #oin this one(
./E=EC ?( He did not say that. I told you he 0ust liked you for your money.
% found that if you #ust say the first line, girls get defensive, but if you add the money
comment, they cant hel but laugh. You can then do a little rolelay about how rich she
is and how she shouldve sent her inheritance on cookies and beer. .r whatever other
funny things you can come u with.
$nother great sot to @oin a +onvo is when youre standing ne!t to some women at a
stowalk, or walking down the street nearby them. $ few summers ago, % was walking
ne!t to some girls, one of whom was comlaining about how even though shed gone to a
friends birthday arty, the friend had not recirocated by attending hers(
./E=EC A( 5ont you 0ust hate that& -ou get a bottle of wine, show u', make sure they
know theyre loved and then what. Some friend, huh&
)he agreed, we outed together, realiDed we were both 'eos and lived nearby, and
numbers were e!changed. .h, and what did you notice about my oening line? $ny hot
,Yes, $nd- action? .h yeah.
% hoe you see #ust how simle it is & and how natural and deadly effective it can be & to
#oin the conversation. Yes8 $nd onwards.
CATCHING UP
$ close cousin to @oining the +onvo, +atching U also works by retending that you
already know them and are ,in- with them. %ts not ;uite as effective as @oining the
+onvo, but it re;uires Dero creativity, so its great if youre #ust starting out in the world
of aroaching and attracting women, or if youre smashed out of your gourd and nothing
else is coming to mind.
%ts ;uite simle & you find some girls who seem oen and recetive, and you say
something like(
./E=EC :( 2ell there you are. I was wondering when wed run into ea%h other again.
)aid layfully, this sets you u for a fun rolelay. $ssuming she resonds ositively, you
dro something like ,'ast time % saw you, man, %ve got to say well, %m not sure if
you remember, but it was an effort to revent you from stealing that minivan.- 2hat little
thief8
You can say other variations like(
./E=EC >( 2ell there you guys are where the he%k were you before this, I was looking
all over FourSuare.
$s % write this, *our);uare is culturally relevant here in =Y+, but you could substitute it
out if some new creey technology for tracking eole comes out by the time you read
this.
$gain, this works best on girls who already look oen and recetive & not so much for
girls who are huddled u and lanning their ne!t move. En#oy.
HELLO WITH A NICNAME
'ove this one with all my heart. 2hese were the first words out of my mouth with the
/layboy girl, and many other women who were so retty that % wanted to chew on glass
to calm myself down. $nd theyre CE$''Y simle.
You see her. You get nearby. $nd then you say something like(
./E=EC :( 2hat%ha u' to, %hief&
2hats it. $nd then she tells you what shes u to 0)udoko, in the case of <s. /laymate1,
and then you guys get into it. 2he first three words dont do much, but when you add the
,chief,- all of a sudden things become much more flirty, and she realiDes youre not
scared of her. Which hels when youre seaking to a scary3hot girl.
9eres another one(
./E=EC >( Hey sassy'ants, hows your night going&
2o the best of my knowledge, my buddy Cace de/riest came u with that hrase, and it
never ceases to get a laugh. .r how about these?
./E=EC ?( Hey there tru%ker
./E=EC A( 2hats u' nutterbutter&
./E=EC B( Howdy, %hi%k'ea
=ow youll notice & none of these are suer comlimentary. 2hey arent like ,cutie- or
,hottie-or ,se!yface.- 2hat stuff is cheeseball. 5o for the nickname youd give to your
schoolyard buddy, your younger sister, or the kid who everyone used to ick on 0that was
you right? % mean, they all called me bucktooth, which %ve never called a woman but
now that % remember it, %ll robably give it a go1.
2he nonverbals here & esecially the eye contact & matter a lot. %f you say them with a
slight look of a challenge on your face, like ,you have no idea whats in store for you, but
its gonna be fun,- shell usually ick u on that, and she might #ust get a little layful
herself.
9er( !Tru%ker& 2hy Tru%ker&"
You( !4hhh that was you who honked from that big semi earlier today, right& )hewing
toba%%o, blabbing away on that )$ radio 6 and all those 'oor little 'iggies you were
haulin, they 0ust didn know where you was takin em"
Yes, these e!act words have come out of my mouth before, with my best 2e!as drawl,
and were met with eruting laughter. You notice that %m doing an e!tended ,Yes $nd-
to create an absurd story here? Well, thats how to ick u a ,ten.- $nd % bet you thought
it involved breathing fire8 /ashaw.
OPINIONS! BETS! ASSISTANCE
%f youve read anything about being a /ick U $rtist, you robably know at least two
things( negs and oinion oeners. Well save the former for another day, and consider the
latter in the here and now.
*rankly, % never loved using other eoles oinion oeners, as % dont like being
inauthentic. .f course, youre welcome to use mine, but % find that these work best when
they are truly sontaneous & the result of a conversation youre having with a friend or a
nagging ;uestion you need answered.
% find that anything that references oular culture works well. Women generally know
0and care1 about celebrities, fashion, entertainment all of that nonsense that kees them
occuied while us menfolk are out starting wars, building emires, and heralding in the
aocalyse. %, for one, am far to busy to watch the show *riends 0ok, maybe %ve seen it
once or twice1 but it wasnt long ago that % was at a bar waiting for a friend to arrive,
te!ting a female friend of mine to ass the time. 'eaning over to two girls at the ne!t
table, % said
./E=EC :( Hey, uh.. I need some girlie advi%e. -ou guys know the name of 7ennifer
8nistons %hara%ter on Friends&
2hey told me it was Cachel, and % nodded a ;uick 2hank You to them. =othing soken &
#ust ;uickly returned to my hone. $fter finishing the te!t, % looked at them, held my gaDe
until they looked back, and said ,thanks, thats erfect-. 0hint hint & creating intrigue1.
2hey began asking me why % needed to know that, and % told them that ,my friend was
such a scatterbrain- and we were off.
$nother e!amle that came u one time was when my buddy 4avid and % were trying to
settle a bet about the name of a "ackstreet "oys song.
./E=EC >( Hey guys, we need some girlie hel', wondering if you %ould hel' us settle a
bet. 5o you remember what the big $a%kstreet $oys song hit was& 9uit :laying ;ames
2ith <y Heart or $ye $ye $ye&
% was ;uickly informed that EEECY.=E knows that F=)ync wrote "ye "ye "ye, to
which % relied that ,obviously, dumb guys who are off building emires dont always
know such things- and again & in there like swimwear.
You might have also noticed the hrase ,girlie-. $s of the time % write this, that articular
word is going down well.
You can also ask a ersonal ;uestion & one e!amle that comes to mind was when % was
back in $nn $rbor and had been #ean shoing with my friend "ria all day. 'ater that
evening, % was out and noticed a girl wearing some EECY se!y #eans.
./E=EC ?( Hey, those 0eans fit you great +'ause, I was out sho''ing with my friend
today and shes got a very similar figure to you 6 mind if I ask where you got them&
%ve since used this many times and have never had a girl not be flattered. 2hen give her a
little tease about how they should be aying her to model them, ask a ersonal ;uestion
maybe stick around or maybe take off & all of which well be covering later on.
"IRECT COMPLIMENTS
.n our coaching rograms, we used to 0and occasionally still do1 have guys give flowers
to random retty girls on the street. %n cities like =Y+ and )an *rancisco, this is actually
less weird than a lot of the other things youll see. $nd it hels drive home an imortant
oint( women '.EE gifts when you dont e!ect anything in return.
When youre aroaching a girl to give her a comliment, you want to have the mindset
of an art atron. ,Wow & look at this beautiful thing that someone has created & it has
sirit8-$ny artist can aint a clock, but it took )alvador 4ali to aint 2he /ersistence of
<emory. $ny scultor can create a statue of man, but it took <ichaelangelo to create
4avid. $ comliment to a beautiful woman means nothing unless youre connecting it to
the sirit she radiates. 2his, my friend, is what % look for in eole, and if you can do the
same, youll find yourself giving awesome comliments.
*or e!amle, every now and then youll see a girl who really ut effort into utting
herself together. 2elling the checkout girl at Whole *oods that
./E=EC :( I love the way you mat%hed your eye shadow with your earrings. +she
smiles, blushes, says thanks,. 2as that intentional, or random %han%e as you rolled out of
bed this morning&
5uys rarely notice the little things that stand out on a woman & if youre the one in a
thousand who does, itll make her feel mighty secial.
You can #ust go straight u and tell a woman that you think shes beautiful. 2his works
great when youre leaving a bar and see someone lovely on the way out. =o time to think,
no time to angle yourself for something more casual & youve got to go in for the kill.
./E=EC >( Hey listen I know this is forward but I 0ust had to tell you how beautiful
you are. +she smiles, blushes, says thanks,. I dont know if anyone has told you that yet
today, but I %ouldnt 'ass by without letting you know that. 2hats your name&
2hat second art about ,not letting the day go by- is imortant & it shows that youre
giving it to her as a gift. =ow, if you want to be really bold, you can throw this one out to
women on the street or when youre #ust chilling at the bar or a arty & its right u there
with the bombing oener in terms of creating emotion in the conversation, but if you can
kee the boldness u, youll love it.
.r you can go deeer. )ome women #ust light u the room as they walk through it.
.ener ?( Hey listen I know this is forward but I 0ust had to tell you how beautiful you
are. +she smiles, blushes, says thanks,. I mean, there are a lot of 'retty girls in the world,
but you have some sort of ha''y inner light its 0ust radiant. +she says thanks again,.
/ike whats the story 6 you 0ust get a 'romotion, or walking hand in hand with ;od, or
what&
2he last art always gets a laugh & with religious women because theyre like YE)8888
and with atheists and agnostics because they like to make fun of believers.
*inally, sometimes youll see a girl who is wearing something that everyone is staring at,
and maybe even comlimenting her on. *or e!amle, a woman is wearing a dress that has
every mans #aw on the floor and every other womans heart green with envy. )o you use
a little misdirection humor 0much more on that in 2E=1, walk u, and say
./E=EC A( 2ow, that looks in%redible on you your smile, I mean. +she laughs, says
thanks,. I mean, the dress is 'retty ni%e too 6 and Im so glad I didnt wear mine out
tonight or wed have %onfused everyone
)ee the video demonstration for what to do with your hands on this one. 4elivered right,
it will make her crack u & of course she thinks youre talking about her dress & until she
realiDes youre not. $nd that last hrase about ,%m so glad % didnt wear mine out
tonight- has been borrowed by my buddy @ohnny, one of the most charming men % know.
=ever fails to dis;ualify the comliment #ust enough to let her dro her guard.
*inally, if youre ready to get shameless, theres the over the to comliment. 2his isnt
so much a statement as a way of thinking. 5o hard or go home, buddy. Youre utting
your desire for her right out there, front3and3center, and you #ust cant hel it because
shes so damn se!y. 2yically, this works great at nightclubs and bars where the vibe is
highly charged.
./E=EC B( 3h my ;od, look at you. )ome here, whats your name&
$llow yourself to be drawn to her and tell her how se!y she is & right away8 ,You are
ridiculously hot, how do you e!ect a simle guy like me not to get a massive crush?- %f
shes recetive to it, you can go for the kiss right then and there. 2his is done with intense
body language and raid escalation, and is demonstrated more in deth on our
%CCE)%)2%"'E rogram.

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
Everyone has their ways of aroaching women, and youre reading this to learn mine.
9oefully, a few things stand out(
:. 2heres no one3siDe3fits3all aroach. %ts always based on the situation.
>. 5etting her attention ought to be aroached with a fun, creative sirit. 2he more
that your mindset is to simly get her attention 0as oosed to saying the erfect
thing1 the more it frees you u to have fun.
2here are a few lines in here that you can memoriDe and reeat verbatim, but what %m
trying to cature is that its better to engage at all than it is to get it erfectly. $ll of these
oeners work, but they should be insiration, and not merely something for you to merely
dulicate. % want to teach you how to fish, not #ust give you a nice iece of salmon,
friend3o.