My books are the physical repository of my mind.

They are the refelction of all

the knowledge I have collected, the intrests I have, the way I see the world and
bounds of my imagination. They are in many ways my center, simply knowing that
they are makes me feel some sense of security and I suppose that is something I
have always struggled with. I often escape inside my own head, drowining my self
in a sea of thoughts and fantasy. My books are part of that sense of escape, wh
en I just can't focus hard enough to escape I can open one of my books and it ac
ts like a foci.
My books are reflection of my mind as much as they are a part of it, messy, unor
ganized, chaotic and just a little intimidating even to myself. I am also for so
me peculiar reason ashamed of them, much as I am what goes on in my own head. Ju
st as I guard my thoughts, I do the same with my books, keep it secret keep it s
afe. I have never felt ok with the way I am or the things I think, not that they
are disturbing or the like, just that they are not the views of those around me
so they are unnacceptable.
The truth is I have felt little intellctual kinship in my life, but with my book
s that simply isn't an issue between those pages their is no judgement, nor expe
ctation or norms for me to follow.