A delicate subject...

but I have to tackle it. The cabin of a Boeing 767, stuffed with 300 human
beings, is not a place where a man can happily break wind.
I come across this problem an hour into the flight. Being of a
diplomatic disposition I decide to do battle with nature. This consists of a
never-ending succession of bottom shuffling, muscle winking and facial
contortions.
Six hours later Im so full of methane I fear I will float from my seat
and drift round the cabin like a stray hydrogen balloon. I batten down
with my seat belt and continue the self-flagellation.
A glance round the plane reveals many strained faces and clamped
seatbelts. Is this how a jet-plane defies gravity? I wonder.