Morons Guide to Oxymorons

SOPHOCLES: Short Saying Often Contains Much Wisdom

As told by Oxy to Barry J. Lipson

1

Preface To Volume 1 of 3 (A-F)

Howdy Dowdy diddle um-day,1 folks Im Oxy, not Peter, Paul & Marys playful little Leatherwing
Bat, but a Sharp (OXY) & Dull (MORON) bovine eater of hay, and slurpper (not author) of all
chewy concepts that have a devilish tang of contradiction, conflict, inconsistency, incongruity, irony,
Double Entendre &/or opinion. Indeed Oxymora are mighty magnets for dastardly
disagreements, words & phrases with internal/external contradictions! But beware, I find, the
mightier the quip, the tastier the slurp! As my bully scribe, the self-professed aspiring Smith of
Words, Barry, the Jay of the Lipson clan, has written in his OxyMorons, Ho! Ho!
(http://www.scribd.com/doc/34834908/OxyMorons-Ho-Ho-by-Barry-J-Lipson-A-Corplaw-Commentary):

I have always liked the word oxymoron, a word which according to Webster could describe the
results of the combination of oxygen and stupidity; or a man endowed by his Creator with
emasculated bovine feeblemindedness; or the combining of contradictory or incongruous words.
Stated otherwise, an oxymoron is "the product of an oxygen crazed bovinic moron's combination of
words, or, more succinctly, feebleminded hot air. Military Intelligence, in popular punning
parlance, is considered to be a prime example of an oxymoron. Another prime example would be
Jumbo Shrimp [what of Jambalied Shrimp?].
Perchance you noted from my cover photos that to vary my diet of words & vegetation, I also slurp
the occasional bit of bug or ham. Please dont be shocked! It is not like you eating long pig. I eat
only HAMburgers, not BEEFburgers or OXburgers, or so I believe, though your euphemizing of
long pig does give me a moments pause. Does the English language make me an unintentional
cannibal? No! My intent is just to figuratively sharply & dully cannibalize English by slurping in &
spitting out prime tasty tidbits, at times chewed down, paraphrased and/or edited for fit, flow or
flabbergastation, for: "What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it [Dr. Who]?
This Guide contains an extensive listing of the Oxymorons, Double Entendres, One-Liners &
SUCH, slurped up by me over the years. As up to date as Slurpee Summit and Toxic Assets; as
classically classy as Military Intelligence; as misguided as Mission Accomplished; and as
Double Entendrey as Killer Pussy. And now were Fashionably Oxymoronic? I dare say,

oxymorons & such contain wisdom to ruminate on, and to live, laugh and cry by!
From Peter, Paul and Marys Leatherwing Bat, whose "500 Miles" has been identified as being taken from an old Rosh
Hashanah Areshes Sifaseinu Litvish niggun, [Lithuanian Jews religious humming tune], "an oxymoron.
2
1

Thus, there are such as Isaac Bashevis Singer's universal revelation: "We must believe in free will, we
have no choice." Clara Barton's realization: "I can distinctly remember forgetting that." Woody
Allen's retrospective: "The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small." And then Sarah
Palin: "'Refudiate,2 misunderestimate,' 'wee-wee'd up.' English is a living language, she states
correctly, Shakespeare liked to coin new words too [but intentionally]. Gotta celebrate it!'"
Now, now, I, Oxy, do not stand hostage for the quality, obviousness, quip-free nature or actual
scholarly classifications of the listed items. Thats yours to chew through and muddle over. Some may
be shown here to showcase others and/or for completeness. Enjoy! And please forgive any
imbalances in oxymorons with sexual or worldly innuendos. But, unlike you and my scribe, as a
eunuchized Ox, not provided with a harem to guard and/or udders to suck and chat up, I know little
of such matters. Perhaps, that is why I find words, instead of cows, so TITillating, so sexy . . . . Butt
enough B.S. (or is that O.S.?)! Lets sink our teeth into this moronic meat loaf and get to the
jugular of the matter, so all of my vain slurping shall not have been in, or miss the, vein! Now
onward to explore Volume 1 of 3 (A-F)

Morons Guide to Oxymorons

A & K Lick-A-Chick Restaurant [Nova Scotia, Canada]

A Bit Too Expensive
A Bird In The Hand Is Dead
A Bird In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Bush
A-Bomb Is Dynamite [Samuel Goldwyn]
A Cappella With Music
A Cholera Plague On You! [A Khaleryeh Ahf Dir!]
A Definite No!
A Diamond Is A Chunk Of Coal That Made Good Under Pressure
A Difference Which Makes No Difference Is No Difference
A Difficulty For Every Solution, Thats Our Promise To You! [Your Local Bureaucrat]
A Fail Safe
A Fine Mess
A-Flat Miner Produced By Piano Falling Down Mine Shaft
A Foot Ahead
A Hard Man Is Good To Find [Mae West]
A Joke Is A Very Serious Thing [Winston Churchill]
A Journey Of A Thousand Mile Begins With But A Single Step [Lao Tse]
A Just War
*A Justified War
*Just A War
*Just War
A Language Is A Dialect With An Army & Navy [Max Weinreich]
A-List
A Little Ambiguity In Ambergris Can Cause A Whale Of A Whale Upchuck
2

Palins Refudiate: Oxford American Dictionary's Word of the Year for 2010 So, yes, you can still coin new words!
3

A Little Ambiguity In Ambergris Perfume Can Cause A Whale Of An Upchuckle

A Little Ambiguity Never Hurt Anyone
A Little Ambiguity Never Hurt Somebody [IronHerder]
A Little Big
A Little Bit Pregnant
A Little Dab'll Do Ya [Brylcreem]
A Little Dab'll Do Ya Or Do You In, Said She Who Was A Li'l Bit Pregnant!
A Little Fagll Do Ya, NOT!
A Little Humility Is Arrogance
A Little Inaccuracy Saves A World Of Explanation [C.E. Ayres]
A Little Ignorance Can Go A Long Way
A Little Ignorance Can Go A Long Way In The Direction Of Maximum Harm
A Little Knowledge Is A Dangerous Thing
A Little Learning Is A Dangerous Thing, A Lot Can Blow Up The World
A Little Learning Is A Dangerous Thing, But Little Learning Is More Dangerous
A Little Of What You Fancy Does You Good
A Little Of What You Fancy Does You Good, & If You Fancy Fanny ...?
A Little Pain Never Hurt Anyone
A Little Personality Goes A Long Way [Jean Chatzky]
A Little Personality Goes A Long Way, Little Personality Goes No Way
A Little Pregnant
A Little Pregnant [Ms. Gidget The Midget]
A Little Song, A Little Dance, A Little Seltzer Down Your Pants
A Lot Of What Appears To Be Progress Is Just So Much Technological Rococo
A Low Life In High Heels [The Holly Woodlawn Story]
A Man Is As Faithful As His Options [Chris Rock]
A Man Is Only A Man, But A Good Bicycle Is A Ride
A Man Is Only A Man, But A Good Horse Is A Ride
A Man Must Be Big Enough To Admit His Mistakes [McKenzie]
A Man Must Be Smart Enough To Profit By His Mistakes [McKenzie]
A Man Must Be Strong Enough To Correct His Mistakes [McKenzie]
A Man Should Be Greater Than Some Of His Parts
A Midsummer Nights Dream
A Midsummer Nights Sex Comedy [Woody Allen 1982]
A Midsummer Nights Wet Dream, Damn That Leaky Pipe!
A Modest Man, Who Has Much To Be Modest About [Winston Churchill On Clement Attlee]
A Moment's Thinking Is An Hour In Words [Thomas Hood]
A New Classic
A Penny Saved Is A Penny
A Penny Saved Is A Penny Earned
A Penny Saved Is Ridiculous
A Pretty Face Is A Punishment [Estonia]
A Problem For Every Solution, Thats Our Promise To You! [Your Local Bureaucrat]
A Promise Is A Debt [Irish Proverb]
A Proverb Tells The Truth [A Shprikhvort, Iz A Vorvort]
A Right Delayed Is A Right Denied [Martin Luther King, Jr.]
4

A Real Live Ghost

A Real Stonker
A Real Turkey
A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss, At Least While Performing
A Rose By Any Other Name Would Smell As Sweet [William Shakespeare]
A Safe Pair Of Hands
A Shame & A Disgrace [A Shandeh Un A Charpeh]
A Single Death Is A Tragedy, A Million Deaths A Statistic
A Solution For Every Problem
A Steak A Day Keeps The Vegans Away
A-Team
A-Tisket, A-Tasket, A Green & Yellow Basket
A-Tisket, A-Tasket, Who Can Throw A Basket?
A-Tisket, A-Tasket, You Stole Deacon's Easter Basket
A Trick Is Clever Only Once
A Useless Man Is A Shame, 2 Is A Law Firm & 3 Or More Is A Congress [John Adams]
A Weapon Of Mass Dysfunction, A Dysfunknic [North Korean Missile Failure]
A Will Finds A Way [Orison Swett Marden]
A Witty Saying Proves Nothing [Voltaire]
A Woman Is Only A Woman, But A Good Cigar Is A Smoke [Rudyard Kipling]
A Word To The Wise Isn't Necessary, It's The Dull Who Need The Advice
A Wrinkle In Time [Madeleine L'Engle]
A**** S***: Counselor, Mediator, Arbitrator, Entertainer & Labor Negotiator It Computes!
Abba Dabba Honeymoon: 'Abba Dabba Dabba Dabba Dabba Dabba Dabba' Bim [1914]
Abba Dabba Honeymoon: All Abba Dabba Day Long They Were Happy & Gay'
Abba Dabba Honeymoon: 'Monkey & A Chimp & Lordy How She Loved Him'
Abba Dabba Honeymoon: 'Monkey & A Chimp' So Happy, Yet Lordy Not Gay Today
Abbreviation For Abbreviate Is Abbrev. Or Abbr., Why Not Just Cut?
Abbreviation, Why Is It Such A Long Word?
Abbreviations Are Shorter Than This, Their Long Generic Name
ABCD: American-Born Confused Desi [South Asian]
Abe Lincoln Ain't No Republican - He Took Personnel Property From Southerners!
Ability To Quote Is A Serviceable Substitute For Wit
Ablutophobia - Fear Of Bathing, Washing Or Cleaning, To Wit, Peanuts Pig-Pen
Abnoxicated, Inebriated, Booted With The Liqour & Just Plain Drunk
Abolish, Eliminate & Stamp Out Redundancy!
Abortion Doctor
Abortionist - Oops! - Arborist Found On Angie's List
About A Hundred Years Ahead At Being Behind [M*A*S*H]
About It
Above The Fold
Above The Fold, The Upper Half Of A Newspaper's Front Page
Above The Fold, Up The Hill From The Sheep Pen Or Churchs Congregation
Abracadabra From Hebrew Phrase 'Ha-Bracha Dab'ra', Meaning 'Pronounce The Blessing'
Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter [2012]
Abraham Lincoln Vs Zombies [2012]
5

Abridged Opinion
Absence Extinguishes Small Passions & Increases Great Ones [Duc De La Rochefoucauld]
Absence Makes The Heart Go Wander
Absence Makes The Heart Go Yonder [Robert Byrne]
Absence Makes The Heart Grow Colder
Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder - Of Somebody Else
Absence Makes The Heart Grow Frantic
Absence Of Evidence Is No Evidence [Carl Sagan]
Absence Of War Is Not Peace [Harry S Truman]
Absent-Minded? Funny, I Don't Remember Becoming Absent-Minded
Absentees Are Never Without Fault, Nor Those Present Without Excuse
Absolute Alcohol
Absolute Chaos
Absolute Dimwit
Absolute Freedom
Absolute Guarantee
Absolute Loyalty
Absolute Monarch
Absolute Nonsense
Absolute Possibility
Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely
Absolute Rubbish
Absolute Silence
Absolute Silence Would Occur If Everyone Said Only What They Absolutely Knew
Absolute Truth
Absolute Uncertainty
Absolute Zero
Absolutely Imperative
Absolutely Important
Absolutely Nothing
Absolutely No Still Means 'Maybe' To Most Guys & Keep Trying To Some Gals
Absolutely No Substitute For A Genuine Lack Of Preparation
Absolutely Of Passing Interest
Absolutely Pretty Good
Absolutely True That There Is No Such Thing As An Absolute Truth
Absolutely Uninteresting
Absolutely Unsure
Absurdity & Perversity Of Thought Remain The Masters Of The World [Arthur Schopenhauer]
Abstain From Abstinence
Abstain From Wine, Women & Song; Mostly Song
Abstainer, Weak Person Who Yields To Temptation Of Denying Himself A Pleasure [A. Bierce]
Abstainers Are Voters For The Winner!
Abstention Is A Vote For The Winner & Against Whiskey!
Abstinence
Abstinence Is As Easy To Me As Temperance Would Be Difficult [Samuel Johnson]
6

Abstract Art: Product Of Untalented, Sold By Unprincipled To Utterly Bewildered [Al Capp]
Abundant Poverty [Socrates]
Abundantly Clear
Abundantly Negated
A-Butting Heads
Abutting Parcels
AC-DC [Alternating Current/Direct Current]
AC-DC [Anti-Christ Devil's Child]
AC-DC [Australian Hard Rock Band]
AC-DC [Bi-Sexual]
AC-DC Unplugged
Academia, Where Men Of Principle Outnumber Men Of Honor
Academic Degree Is Not An Education [Rockefeller Panel Reports]
Academic Fraternity
Academic Sorority
Accentuate The Positive, Eliminate The Negative, Latch On To The Affirmative
Accentuate The Positive, Latch On To The Affirmative, Don't Mess With Mister In-Between
Accept Conditions As They Exist, Or Accept Responsibility For Changing Them
Accept No Ones Definition Of Your Life - Define Yourself
Accept Rejection
Acceptable Level Of Unemployment
Acceptable Level Of Unemployment - Acceptable To Whom?
Acceptable Level Of Unemployment Means The Evaluating Economist Still Has A Job
Acceptable Losses
Accident Alert
Accident Forgiveness
Accident Is The 'Name Of The Greatest Inventor' [Mark Twain]
Accident Plan
Accident Preparedness
Accident Preplanning
Accident Prevention
Accidental Felon
Accidental Plan
Accidentally On Purpose [John Strasberg]
Accidentally Preventive
Accidents Will Happen
Accidents Will Happen Under The Best Of Circumstances
Across Europe By Kangaroo, By Wrong Way Aussie Joe Barry
Accomplished Felon
According To All Calculations The Problem Doesn't Exist
According To My Best Calculations Five Wits Out Of Ten Are Half
According To My Best Recollection, I Don't Remember
Accordion Dubbed: To & Fro, Squeeze/Button Box, One-Man Band, Kanootch, Belly Baldwin
Accordion Music
Accountant Knows The Cost Of Everything & The Value Of Nothing
Accurate Election
7

Accurate Estimate
Accurate Forecast
Accurate Guesstimate
Accurate Horoscope
Accurate Predictions
Accurate Rumors
Accurate Stereotype
Accused Felon
Ace In The Hole
Achievable Fantasy [Nadler Lewinter]
Achieving Life Is Not The Equivalent Of Avoiding Death [Ayn Rand]
Achilles Heel - Achilles Kryptonite
Achoo Atishoo [Sneezy]
Acid Rain
Acid Test Of Intelligence Is Its Ability To Cope With Stupidity
Acoustic Guitar Amplifier
Acquaintances Are For Borrowing From Not Lending To
Acquitted Criminally & Convicted Civilly [Like OJ]
Acrobats Do It Bottom Side Up
Acrophobic Mountain-Climbers
Act As If You Belong & Oddly The Odds Are Theyll Believe You
Act As If Youre Already Where You Want To Be
Act As If Youre Already Where You Want To Be & You May Just Get There
Act As If What You Do Makes A Difference, It Does! [William James]
Act As If What You Really Want Is The Last Thing On Your Mind
Act Natural!
Act Naturally
Act Neutrally
Act Normally
Act Or Accept
Act The Way You Want To Feel & Soon You'll Feel The Way You Act
Acting Is Happy Agony [Sir Alec Guinness]
Acting Without Thinking Is Like Shooting Without Aiming [B. C. Forbes]
Action May Not Bring Happiness; But There's No Happiness Without Action
Action Plan
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Action Springs Not From Thought, But From Readiness For Responsibility [D. Bonhoeffer]
Action Trumps Advice, But Does Sabotage Trump Criticism?
Actionable Puffery
Actions Of Men Are The Best Interpretations Of Their Thoughts [John Locke]
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Active Neutrality
Active Reserves
Active Rest
Active Retirement
Active Stand-By
8

Active Apathy
Actively Apathetic
Actress Cut Hole In Second Floor Theater Rug To See Floor Show
Actress Not Floored By Show, Found Knothole More Entertaining
Actress' First Strands Of Gray Hair Caused Her To Think She'd Dye
Actress Sewed Up Hole In Rug, Not Wanting To See Hole Show!
Actress Went Downstairs & Spiced Up Floor Show For Its Whole Run
Actress When She Saw Her First Gray Hair Thought She'd Dye
Actress Y'Know Didnt Die & Go To Heaven, But Went To The Seven/Eleven & Dyed
Actual Reenactment
Actually, It Only Seems As Though You Mustn't Be Deceived By Appearances
Actuary Brought Fake Bomb On Plane To Decrease Odds Of Real Bomb Being There
Actus Reus - Activity That Transgresses Moral Or Civil Law
Acupuncture Is A Jab Well Done
Acute Apathy
Acute Children
Acute Dullness
AD
Ad Infinitum [Endlessly]
Ad Naseum
Adam & Eve Lost Their Lease For Apple, What Would They Have Given Up For A Lobster?
Adam & Eve, Without Belly Buttons Where Did They Keep Their Navel Lint?
Adam Met Eve & Turned Over A New Leaf
Adam Met Eve & Turned Over A New Leaf - Bye, Bye Lilith
Adapt Or Perish, Now As Ever, Is Nature's Inexorable Imperative [H. G. Wells 1866-1946]
Addiction To Brake Fluid Can Stop At Any Time
Addictive Nature
Adding Manpower To A Late Project Makes It Later
Adding Sound To Movies Would Be Like Putting Lipstick On The Venus De Milo [Pickford]
Additional Reduction
Adequately Satisfactory
Adequately Significant
Adjunct Professor
Adjunct Professor Added Proficiency
Adjunct Professor Adds Junk Professor To Professorial Purgatory
Adjunct Professor Adds Junk Punk To Academic Rolls
Adjusting Brightness Control Doesnt Make My TV Any Smarter
Admit No More Causes Than Such As Are Both True & Sufficient [Isaac Newton]
Admit Nothing, Deny Everything & Make Counter-Accusations
Adolescence, When A Lad Forsakes His Bosom Buddy For A Bosomed Buddy
Adolescent Acts Like A Baby When Not Treated Like An Adult
Adopt The Pace Of Nature, Her Secret Is Patience [Ralph Waldo Emerson]
Adoptionism, A Christian Belief That Jesus Was Adopted As God's Son At His Baptism
Adore, To Venerate Expectantly [Ambrose Bierce]
Adult Child
Adult Children
9

Adult Male
Adult, One Old Enough To Know Better
Adult, One Who Has Stopped Growing At Both Ends & Is Now Growing In The Middle
Adulterated Liquor
Adulterous Male
Adults Are Just Kids With Money, Kids Are Just Adults With Mommy!
Adults Are Just Wrinkled Kids Who Owe Money
Adults Are Obsolete Children [Dr. Seuss]
Advance Agent Of Prosperity [William McKinley]
Advance Quickly & Ambush Is Just Around Next Bend
Advance To The Rear
Advanced BASIC
Advanced Basic
Advanced Beginner
Advanced Ignorance
Advanced Technology Is Indistinguishable From Magic
Advantage Of Exercising Every Day Is That You Die Healthier
Advantage Of Pre-Sketched Origami Is Twofold
Adventists Tithe 20% Of Income [IronHerder Header]
Adventists Tithe 20% Of Income, Spiritually Enriched Being Doubly Taxed
Adverse Conditions
Adversity Makes Strange Bedfellows
Adversity Reveals Genius, Prosperity Conceals It [Horace]
Advertisers Are Wizards Of The Art Of Non Sequiturs [Barry J. Lipson]
Advertising Is Legalized Lying [H.G. Wells]
Advertising Is Legalized Up Through Puffery
Advertisement Rules
Adversity Can Make You Better If You Dont Let It Make You Bitter [John Maxwell]
Adversity Introduces A Man To Himself
Advice: A Pleasure To Give, Humiliating To Need & Normally Ignored [Oliver W. Holmes]
Advice Is Free, The Right Answer Will Cost Plenty
Advice Is What We Seek When We Already Know The Answer But Wish We Didn't [E. Jong]
Advice Is Sought When We Already Know The Answer But Wish We Didn't
Advocate For Avocados, Agitate For Aardvarks &Oddly Aardwolves To The Agenda
Adware Adnihilated By Adaware!
Aerobic Exercise
Aeyyyyyy [The Fonz]
Affection Can Lead To Infection Without Protection On Your Erection
Affable Hermit
Affected Alliteration
Affirmative Action
Affirmative Housing
Affluenza, Being Infected With Selfish Capitalism Or The Compulsion To Be So Infected
Affluenza Is Inflated Sense Of Entitlement, Silver Spoon Syndrome & Rich Bitch Itch
Affluenza, Portmanteau Of The Words Affluence & Influenza
Affordable Housing
10

Affordable Luxury
Affordable Moving Co. Fast Reliable Reasonable [Chicagoland]
Affluence Creates Stupid, Or At Least Mindless, Consumers [David Bradford]
African American
After A Storm Comes A Calm
After All Else Has Come & Gone, Memories Are All We Have
After All Else Has Come & Gone, More Has Come Than Gone
After All Else Has Come & Gone, More Has Gone Than Come
After All Is Said & Done, A Hell Of A Lot More Is Said Than Done
After Assembly Extra Components Will Be Found On The Bench
After Commitment It's Always The Wrong Time Of The Month
After Dark Is Really After Light' & After Dark' Comes The Light!
After Dark Should Be Dawn, So When Night Falls That's 'After Light,' Right?
After Dinner Sit A While & After Supper Walk A Mile
After Eating, Do Amphibians Need To Wait An Hour Before Getting Out Of The Water?
After Four Martinis My Husband Turns Ugly & After The 5th I Pass Out Altogether
After Stolen Limo Found The Donald Said He Had Honest Thief 'Nothing Stolen [Trump]
After Meeting You, They Voted In Favor Of Abortion
After Mein Kampf Im In Favor Of Retroactive Abortion
After Ten Years Of Therapy My Therapist Made Me Cry - He Said: No Hablo Ingles
After Things Have Gone From Bad To Worse, The Cycle Will Repeat Itself
After Thought
Against The Assault Of Laughter Nothing Can Stand [Mark Twain]
Age & Treachery Will Always Overcome Youth & Skill
Age Doesn't Always Bring Wisdom, Sometimes Age Comes Alone
Age Has Its Advantages, Too Bad I Cant Remember What They Are
Age Is A Matter Of Mind Over Matter, If You Don't Mind It Really Doesn't Matter [Mark Twain]
Age Is A Very High Price To Pay For Maturity
Age Of Miracles Is Past
Age Wrinkles The Body, Quitting Wrinkles The Soul
Aged Care Industry
Aged Regret Sins Not Committed
Agenda Neutral
Agenda Neutral On Gender Neutrality Matters
Agent Provocateur
Aggressive Begging
Aggressive Defense
Aggressive Diplomacy
Agile Tit Tyrants*
Aging Yuppie
Agnostic Believer
Agnosticism Holds Gods Existence Can Neither Be Proven Nor Disproven
Agony: One Armed Man Hanging From Cliff With Itchy Butt. Death: But He Scratches It!
Agony To Useless - Allegheny Airlines To USAir
Agoraphobia Crowding Fear Of Bathing Beaches, Public Places & Open Spaces
Agraphobia, Coitophobia, Erotophobia & Genophobia - Lots Of Fears Of Sex
11

Agree To Disagree
Agree To Disagree Without Being Disagreeable
Agreeable Difficulty
Agrizoophobia - Pro-Survival Fear Of Wild Animals
Agro-Forestry
Agro-Silviculture
Agro-Silvopastoral
Ah, Putrefaction! [Sherlock Holmes 2009]
Ah, The Good Old Times When We Were So Unhappy! [French Proverb]
Aha! Anham LLC For Billing U.S. $3,000 For $94.47 Circuit Breaker (3,076 % Mark-Up)
Aha! Anham LLC For Billing U.S. $75 For $1.41 Plumbing Equipment (5,574% Mark-Up)
Aha! Anham LLC For Billing U.S. $900 For $7.05 Control Switch (12,666 % Mark-Up)
Aha Moment
Aha Moment, Discovering Previously Unseen Oprah Rerun With An Aha Moment
Aha Moment, First Characterized In A 1939 Psychology Book [15 Years Pre-Oprah]
Aha Moment Suit With Oprah Settled By Mutual Of Omaha - Aha, Now Mutual Of Opraha
Ahead of Time
Ahhhh, Juicyfruit [One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, 1975]
Ahoy & Other Nautical Expressions! [Alice-Dodo]
Aibohphobia, A Radar Or Palindrome Meaning Fear Of Palindromes [Devil's DP Dictionary]
Aibohphobia - Fear Of Palindromes * Semordnilap Fo Reaf Aibohphobia
AIG Former CEO Thanks US By Suing US Over $182 Billion US Bailout Of AIG
Ailurophobia - Fear Of Cats, If You Dare!
Ain't That A Kick In The Butt? [Al Calavicci - Quantum Leap]
Air Field
Air Head Fired [Headline - Flighty Air Carrier CEO?]
Air Moisture
Air New Zealand Bare Essentials Safety Film [Painted Uniforms]
Air Power Is Peace Power [Lockheed Aircraft]
Air Traffic Controllers Can Apply For Job In Braille [The Herald]
Aircraft Black Box [Really Orange]
Airhead Airborne Bridgehead
Airhead - Flighty Scatterbrained Simpleton
Airline Food
Airline Food Is Plane Food Plainly Prepared
Airline Pilots Make Many Friends In High Places
Airline Schedules
Airline Travel Safer Despite More Accidents [Reuters]
Airplane Food: White Is Sweet; Brown Is Meat; Gray Don't Eat [Stephen Sondheim]
Airplanes Are Interesting Toys But Of No Military Value [Field Marshal Ferdinand Foch 1928]
Airplanes That Nearly Collide, Are They Involved In A 'Near Miss' Or 'Near Hit'?
Airport Security
Alabama Is The Smartest State, It Has 4 A's & A B!
Alarm Clocks Make People Rise & Whine
Alarms Go Off By Going On
Alas, How Many Have Been Persecuted For The Wrong Of Being Right? [Jean-Baptiste Say]
12

Alas, Poor Yorick! I Knew Him, Horatio [Holding Up Yoricks Skull - Shakespeare]
Alaskan Islander Thought He Saw His Oculist But It Was Only An Optical Aleutian
Albertson's Grocery Store Chains Search For Sight Continues [Lincoln (Nebr.) Journal-Star]
Albertson's Grocery Stores - World Infamous Unsightly Grocery Chain?
Albino Blackbird
Albino Luciano [Pope John Paul I]
Albino Pygmy
Albino Red-Necked Wallaby
Albino Redwing
Albino Silverback
Albino Yellowhammer
Albinos Are Fairer Than Other Judges
Alcohol & Calculus Don't Mix So Don't Drink & Derive
Alcohol Causes Some Problems, Solves Some & Dis-Solves Others
Alcohol Is A Good Preservative For Everything But Brains [Mary Pettibone Pool]
Alcohol Is A Liquid That Can Put The Wreck Into Wreck-Reation [Without W & K]
Alcohol Is A Misunderstood Vitamin [P.G. Wodehouse]
Alcohol Is Not The Answer, It Just Makes You Forget The Question
Alcohol Kills Slowest & Weakest Brain Cells, Making The Brain Faster & More Efficient
Alcohol May Pick You Up A Little Bit, But It Lets You Down In A Hurry [Betty Ford]
Alcohol Preserves Many Things, Dignity Is Not One Of Them
Alcoholic Is Someone You Don't Like Who Drinks As Much As You [Dylan Thomas]
Ale, Ale, The Gangs All Hail
Aleph-Null Bottles Of Beer On Wall, Take One Down, Aleph-Null Bottles Of Beer On Wall
Aleph Null, The Smallest Infinite Integer
Alexander & The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day [Judith Viorst]
Alexander The Grape, Purple & Concord Of The World
Alexander The Great Generally Was A Great General
Algebra Was Easy For The Romans As 'X' Was Always Known As 10 & Not As An Unknown
Ali [Bush II For Barbara Boxer, Democratic Senator, California]
Alice B. Toklas Brownies
Alice Beheaded The End!
Alice Down-Bloused Through The Looking Glass
Alice Escaped On The Frumious Bandersnatch With Vorpal Sword [Alice]
Alice Much Too Big. Simply Impassible. Impossible? No, Impassible, Nothing's Impossible
Alice Up-Skirted Down The Rabbit Hole
Alimony Permits Women Who Lived Unhappily Married To Live Happily Unmarried
Alis Piffulous Pay Is 2 Dooklas A Day & Ali Can't Live On Such Piffulous Pay! [Dr. Seuss]
All Alone
All An Argument Mostly Proves Is That Two People Are Present
All Booster, No Payload
All Brides Are Beautiful, All The Dead Are Pious
All Bridge Hands Are Equally Likely, But Some Are More Equally Likely
All Change Is Not Growth, As All Movement Is Not Forward [Ellen Glasgow]
All-Day Briefing
All Deliberate Speed
13

All Different All Equal

All Equal, But Some More Equal Than Others [George Orwell]
All Foam, No Beer
All Generalizations Are Bad
All Generalizations Are False, Including This One [Mark Twain]
All Good Things Come To He Who Waits
All Good Things Must Come To An End
All Great Discoveries Are Made By Mistake
All Hope Abandon Ye Who Enter Here!
All Human Beings Believe Theyre Above-Average. They Are, Ape Average!
All I Ask Is The Opportunity To Prove Money Doesn't Buy Happiness
All I Ask Is The Opportunity To Prove Money Doesn't Buy Happiness, Only Rents It!
All I Want Is A Room Somewhere Far Away From The Cold Night Air [My Fair Lady]
All I Want Is 'Lots Of Choc'lates For Me To Eat,' Dark Would Be Sucha Treat
All I Want Is One Enormous Chair Where I'm 'Sittin' Abso-Bloomin'-Lutely Still'
All I Want Is Someone's 'Ead Restin' On My Knee, Warm An' Tender As 'E Can Be
All I Want Is Warm Face, Warm 'Ands, Warm Feet, With Lots Of Coal Makin' Lots Of 'Eat
All I Want Is Woolly Warm Bed, Kind Words & Omnipotency, Oh, Wouldn't It Be Loverly!'
All In Newspaper Is True Except That For Which You Have Firsthand Knowledge
All Is Fair In Love & War [Francis Smedley]
All Is Grist That Comes To The Mill
All I've Ever Wanted Was An Honest Week's Pay For An Honest Day's Work [Sgt. Bilko 1996]
All Kids Are Gifted, Some Just Open Their Packages Earlier Than Others
All Kookies Are Not In A Jar
All Laws Are Simulations Of Reality
All Men Are Different, But Husbands Are All Alike
All Men Are Not Fools, There Are Bachelors
All Men Die, Not All Men Really Live [Braveheart, 1995]
All Men Make Mistakes, But Married Men Find Out About Them Sooner [Red Skelton]
All Musicians Are Potential Band Leaders [Thelonious Monk]
All Musicians Are Subconsciously Mathematicians [Thelonious Monk]
All Musicians Stimulate Each Other, The Vibrations Get Scattered Around [Thelonious Monk]
All My Screaming Has Gone Unheard [Weight Of The World - Evanescence]
All Natural Artificial Flavor
All Or Nothing [Oder Gor Oder Gornit]
All Our Knowledge Has Its Origins In Our Perceptions [Leonardo Da Vinci]
All Publicity Is Good Publicity
All Power Corrupts
All Power Corrupts, But We Need The Electricity, But Maybe Not Con Edison!
All Roads Lead To Rome
All Reports Are In, Life Is Now Officially Unfair!
All Right, All Ready
All Right, All Ready, Im Right Ready
All Right, All Ready, Im Right, Your Ready
All Seeing Eye
All Sorrows Are Less With Bread [Miguel De Cervantes]
14

All Successful Have Had Failures, Yet Repeated Failure Guarantee Not Ultimate Success
All That Can Go Wrong Will Go Wrong
All That Glistens Is Not Gold [Faux Shakespeare]
All That Glisters Is Not Gold [Shakespeare]
All That Glitters Is Not Glitz
All That Glitters Is Not Gold
All That Jazz
All That We Are Is A Result Of What We Have Thought [Buddha]
All That's Swell With BJL
All The Darkness In The World Cannot Extinguish The Flame Of A Single Candle
All The Good Ones Are Taken
All The Men In My Family Were Bearded & Most Of The Women [W.C. Fields]
All The News That Fits We Print
All The News That's Fit To Print [New York Times]
All The Way Through A Portion
All The World Loves A Lover
All The World Was Thrilled By The Marriage Of The Duck & Doochess Of Windsor
All The World's A Stage
All The World's A Stage & I Don't Have A Speaking Part [The Lockhorns]
All The World's A Stage & Most Of Us Are Desperately Unrehearsed
All The World's A Stage, So Where Does The Audience Sit?
All The Other Exits Are Jealous [Breezewood, PA]
All The So-Called 'Secrets Of Success' Will Not Work For You Unless You Do
All The Way With LBJ
All Things Are Possible Except Skiing Through A Revolving Door
All Things Being Equal They Say, But All Things Are Never Equal
All Things Being Equal You Lose!
All Things Being Equal You Lose, The Odds Always Favor The House!
All Things Come To Those Who Wait
All Things Must Pass
All True Wisdom Is Found On T-Shirts & Bumper Stickers Or In Rest Rooms
All Utah Condemned To Face Firing Squad [Washington Post]
All Warfare Is Based On Deception [Sun Tzu]
All Warranty & Guarantee Clauses Are Voided By Payment Of The Invoice
All Will Be Alright In The End & If It's Not Alright It's Not Yet The End [Marigold Hotel]
All Work & No Play Makes Jack A Dull Boy
All Work & No Play Makes You A Dull Boy, A Manager Or A Very Dull Manager
All You Need Is Love
All You Need Is Love. But A Little Chocolate Now & Then Doesn't Hurt [Charles M. Schultz]
All You Sewer Shylocks Do Is Sue!, Shrilled Sue [Barry J. Lipson]
All Your Dreams Come True If You're A Cartoon Mouse [Mickey]
Allies Come & Go, Enemies Accumulate
Alligator Skin
Alliteration , Also Always Avoid Aloof, Awkward Alienating &/Or Affected Alliteration
Allow Me To Introduce My Selves
Alls Fair In Love & War
15

Alls Fare In Love & War

Alls Fear In Love & War
All's For The Best In The Best Of All Possible Worlds
All's Well That Ends
All's Well That Ends Well
Allow Me To Introduce Myselves
Almost [All Or Most?]
Almost Always
Almost Anythings Easier To Get Into Than To Get Out Of
Almost Candid
Almost Certain
Almost Completed
Almost Done
Almost Empty
Almost Everything
Almost Exactly
Almost Finished
Almost Full
Almost Gone
Almost Here
Almost Impossible
Almost Limitless
Almost Miss
Almost Never
Almost New
Almost Perfect
Almost Persuaded
Almost Pregnant
Almost Ready
Almost Safe
Almost Spotless
Almost Suddenly
Almost Surprised
Almost There
Alone Together
Almost Total
Almost Totally
Almost Unbearable Tension Is A Prime Requisite For Scientific Research [Thomas Kuhn]
Alone In A Crowd
Alone, Ones Soul Is Pure [Aleyn Iz Di Neshome Reyn]
Alone Together [Elena Bonner]
Along Shortly
Already Died Once & Survived It [Being Human]
Altar Boys Are Priestly Fodder
Altar Boys Were Altered
Alter Your Attitude & You Can Alter Your Life
16

Alternate Reality
Alternate Service
Alternative To Getting Old Is Depressing
Altogether Separate
Altoid Boy [Bush II For Breath Mint Provider, Special Assistant Israel Hernandez]
Alton Attorney Accidently Sues Himself [Madison St Claire Record]
Altruism Is Based On Self-Deception, The Root Of All Evil
Aluminum Bottle
Aluminium Tin
Aluminum Tin Can
Aluminum Window
Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride [From Listerine Mouthwash Promotion]
Always A Godmother Never A God [Barbara Walters]
Always All Ways [Stop Sign Instructions]
Always & Never - Words You Should Always Remember Never To Use [Wendell Johnson]
Always Avoid Prophesying Beforehand, Its Much Better After The Fact [Winston Churchill]
Always Be Modest, & Be Proud Of It!
Always Be On Lookout For The Obvious
Always Be Sincere, Even If You Don't Mean It [Irene Peter]
Always Believe A Woman When She Says: You Don't Want To Know!
Always Borrow Money From A Pessimist, He Won't Expect It Back
Always Darkest Before It Gets Totally Black [McCain Quoting Mao]
Always Darkest Before It's Pitch Black [Owen Thomas]
Always Darkest Before The Dawn
Always Darkest Before The Dawn, Cat Burglars Take Note!
Always Darkest Before The Dawn, So That's The Time To Steal Neighbor's Newspaper
Always Darkest In The Middle Of The Night [Fonzi]
Always Darkest Just Before The Lights Go Out
Always Do More Than Is Required Of You [George S. Patton]
Always Do Things In Chronological Order, It's Less Confusing That Way
Always Do Your Best. What You Plant Now, You Will Harvest Later [Og Mandino]
Always Forgive Your Enemies; Nothing Annoys Them So Much [Oscar Wilde]
Always Give Waiters Tips, But They Never Seem To Appreciate My Advice
Always Glad To Share My Ignorance With You, I've Got Plenty
Always Go To Other People's Funerals Or They Won't Come To Yours [Yogi Berra]
Always Have A Backup
Always Have A Backup As You Back Up Out Of The Backed Up Sewer
Always Is One More Imbecile Than You Counted On
Always Keep Your Words Soft & Sweet, Just In Case You Have To Eat Them
Always Laugh When You Can, It Is Cheaper Than Medicine
Always Leave Empty Milk Carton In Refrigerator In Case Guest Wants Coffee Black
Always Live Your Life In Chronological Order, Flashbacks Are A Bitch
Always Look Where You Least Expect To Find Something
Always Marry A Woman Uglier Than You
Always Make The Audience Suffer As Much As Possible [Alfred Hitchcock]
Always Remember
17

Always Remember Never To Forget

Always Remember Or Never Forget?
Always Remember To Pillage Before You Burn
Always Remember You're Absolutely Unique, Just Like Everyone Else
Always Some Madness In Love & Always Some Reason In Madness [Friedrich Nietzsche]
Always The Partner's Fault
Always The Wrong Time Of The Month
Always The Wrong Time Of The Month Or A Headache
Always Try To Be Modest & Be Proud Of It!
Always Verify Your Witchcraft
Always Wanted To Be A Procrastinator
Always Wanted To Be Somebody, But Never Was Specific Enough
Always Write Angry Letters, But Never Mail Them
Always Yield To Temptation, It May Not Pass This Way Again
Am Gonna Stay Silent, I Promise! Did You Hear Me?
Am I Ambivalent? Well, Yes & No
Am I In Your Way? You Seem To Have It Backwards. This Pillow's Taken [Cat Haiku]
Am I Ranting? I Hope So, My Rantings Gets Raves
Am I The Good Twin Or The Evil One?
Amateur College Athletes
Amateur College Athletes Are Rented Mules
Amateur Expert
Amateurs Built The Ark, Professionals Built The Titanic
Amazing Maize
Amazing Maze
Amazingly Normal (General)
Amazing The Clarity That Comes With Psychotic Jealousy [My Best Friend's Wedding]
Amazing What You Can Accomplish If You Don't Care Who Gets Credit [Harry S Truman]
Amazingly Surprised [Mark Pengers]
Ambassadors Lie Abroad For The Good Of Their Country
Ambassadors Lie Low Abroad For The Good Of Their Skins
Ambergris, Ambergrease Or Grey Amber Is Aromatic, Solid, Waxy & Flammable
Ambergris: Fine Ladies Regale In 'Essence Found In The Inglorious Bowels Of A Sick Whale'
Ambergris In Egypt: Ancient's Burned As Incense, Modern's Burn In Cigarettes
Ambergris The Pearl Of The Sperm Whale, Is Found In Fecal Matter & Upchuck
Ambergris The Pearl Of The Whale World, Protecting Harvesters From Irritating Debt
Ambergris The Pearl Of The Whale World, Protecting Whales, As Oysters, From Irritants
Ambition Is A Poor Excuse For Not Having Enough Sense To Be Lazy
Ambivalent: State Of Having Simultaneous Conflicting Feelings Toward A Person Or Thing
Ambivalent? Well, Yes & No
America Has No Drug Problems, There's Plenty For Everyone
America Is A Vast Conspiracy To Make You Happy [John Updike]
America Is A Stronger Nation For The ACLU's Uncompromising Effort [John F. Kennedy]
America Is A Synecdoche For The United States [US]
America On Line
America, Wed Have A King If We All Agreed
18

American Beer
American Chop Suey
American Cincinnatus [George Washington]
American Civilization
American Constitution 'Protects The People From Government' [Ronald Reagan]
American Culture
American Democracy: Rule By The Majority With Due Regard To The Minority
American Education
American English
American English: Kosher
American Fabius [George Washington]
American Honda
American History
American Idle Winner: Mr. Couch Potato
American Idle Winner Reveled In Having Nothing To Do, But Was Reviled For Not Doing It
American Indian
American Indians Immigration Policy Caused All Of The Problems We Face In The Americas
American Louis Philippe [Millard Fillmore]
American Taliban
American Talleyrand [Martin Van Buren]
Americans Are People Who Insist On Living In The Present, Tense
Americans Clueless On Credit Scores
Americans Drink Whiskey Saying 'Here's To You & Drink It Themselves' [B.N. Chakravarty]
Americans Drink Whiskey To Keep Them Warm, Then They Put Ice In It To Make It Cool
Americans Drink Whiskey With Sugar To Make It Sweet, Then Add Lemon To Make It Sour
Americans Go Down In Elevators & Escalators, English Go Down In Lifts (Up Too! )
Americans Will Feed Anyone That's Not Close To Them [Will Rogers]
Amerinds American Indians, Not The Original Indians From India
Amicable Divorce
Animal Farm Is An Allegory Of Josef Stalin's Soviet Union [George Orwell]
Animal Friends, Thinking Outside Of The Cage
Animal Testing Is A Terrible Idea, They Get So Nervous & Give The Wrong Answers
Amish Barbie
Amish Technology
Amish Woman's Secret Fantasy Is Two Mennonite [Amish Burlesque]
Amnesia & Dj Vu You Think You Forgotten It Before
Amnesia, I've Had It As Long As I Can Remember
Amnesia Used To Be My Favorite Word, But Then I Forgot It
Amnesiac Had An Undeveloped Photographic Memory
Among The First
Amoozin But Confoozin [Li'l Abner]
Ample Anorexic
Amusement Is The Happiness Of Those Who Cannot Think [Alexander Pope]
Amtrak Schedule
An Appeaser Is One Who Feeds A Crocodile, Hoping It Will Eat Him Last [Churchill]
An Elephant's Faithful, One Hundred Percent [Dr. Seuss]
19

An Essential Aspect Of Creativity Is Not Being Afraid To Fail [Edwin Land]

An Example Is No Proof [A Moshel Iz Nit Kain Raieh]
An Exception Tests A Rule, It Never Proves It
An Eye For An Eye Makes The World Go Blind
An Honest Man Marries Young, A Clever Man Never
An Idea Isn't Responsible For The People Who Believe In It [Don Marquis]
An Ideal Wife Is Any Wife Who Has An Ideal Husband
An Inefficient Virus Kills Its Host, A Clever Virus Stays With It [James Lovelock]
An Invisible Barrier? I've Never Seen One Of Those Before! [Time Bandits, 1981]
An Object In Motion Will Be Heading In The Wrong Direction
An Object In Possession Seldom Retains The Same Charm That It Had In Pursuit
An Optimist Is A Husband Who Checks His Marriage License To See If It Has Expired
An Optimist Is Simply A Pessimist With No Job Experience [Dilbert]
An Ounce Of Application Is Worth A Ton Of Abstraction
An Ounce Of Cured Meat Is Worth A Pound Of Raw
An Ounce Of Emotion Is Equal To A Ton Of Facts
An Ounce Of Image Is Worth A Pound Of Performance
An Ounce Of Imagination Is Worth A Pound Of Performance
An Ounce Of Prevention Is Worth A Pound Of Cure
An Unemployed Court Jester Is No One's Fool
Anachrophobia - Fear Of Temporal Displacement [Doctor Who]
Anal Retentive
Anarchist Community [Alan Bennett]
Anarchist Leader
Anarchy Rules!
Anatidaephobia - Fear That Somewhere, Somehow, A Duck Is Watching You [The Far Side]
Anatidaephobia Health & Wellness Article Contained Aflac Ad Featuring Aflac Duck!
Anatomy Is Destiny
Anatomy Is Something Everybody Has, But It Just Looks Better On A Girl
Anchor Baby, Child Born In U.S. To Non-Citizens Who, Being Born In U.S., Is A U.S. Citizen
Anchor Store
Anchorman
Ancient Chinese Tradition Develops [AP]
Ancient One [Abraham Lincoln]
Ancient Orators Tended To Babylon
And I Am The King Of France [NOT]
And I Have Loved You Dearly, More Dearly Than The Spoken Word Can Tell [Whittaker]
And I Have Loved You Dearly, More Dearly Than The Woken Turd Can Spell [Spoonerism]
And On The 69th Day, God Said Let There Be Porn - And It Was Good!
And That's The Way It Is... [Walter Cronkite]
Andale! Andale! Arriba! Arriba! [Speedy Gonzales, Fastest Mouse In Mexico]
Androphobia, Fear Of Men; Gynophobia, Fear Of Gals; & Gymnophobia, Fear Of Them Nude
Anesthetist Was My Steady, She Was A Local
Angel Banana Delight & Angel Food Cake Surprise With Banana & Cream - How Obscene!
Angel Cake
Angel Dust
20

Angel Is A Vampire, Then Vampyra Is An Angel, Right? [Buffy]

Angel Shark
Angel, The Vampire
Angel Without It's Wings, Is Just A Friend In Disguise
Angelic Devil
Angelina Jolie, A Woman With Some Of The Worlds Most Famous Breasts [E.J. Graff]
Angelina Jolie At 37 Revealed She Had Undergone A Preventative Double Mastectomy
Angelina Jolie's Gene Signaling Potential Breast Cancer Unpatented By US Supreme Court
Angels In The Policy Devils In The Details [Mitt Romney]
Anger Is A Wind Which Blows Out The Lamp Of The Mind
Anger Is Brief Madness [Horace]
Anger Is Easy; Anger At Right Person, At Right Time, For Right Reason, That's Hard [Ulysses]
Anger Is Like Drinking Poison & Expecting The Other Person To Die
Anglo-Saxon Conscience Doesn't Prevent Sinning, Just Enjoying The Sin [Salvador De Madariaga]
Angry Patient
Angry Person Is Seldom Reasonable, Reasonable Person Is Seldom Angry
Animal Groups-Avian: An Aerie Of Eagles, Ascension Of Larks, Confusion Of Guinea Fowl
*Deceit Of Lapwings, Exaltation Of Doves, Flamboyance Of Flamingoes, Flock Of Pigeons
*Gaggle Of Geese, Gulp Of Magpies, Huddle Of Penguins, Murder Of Crows
*Pandemonium Of Parrots, Parliament Of Owls, Party Of Jays, Piteousness Of Turtle Doves
*Plump Of Wildfowl, Rookery Of Albatross & Tweet Of Tweetie Bird Tweeters
Animal Groups-Cold Blooded: An Army Of Ants, Bed Of Oysters, Congregation Of Alligators
*Bite Of Midges, Cloud Of Gnats, Colony Of Termites, Escargatoire Of Snails, Lap Of Cod
*Flight Of [The] Bumble Bees, Glint Of Goldfish, Hive Of Yellow Jackets, Lounge Of Lizards
*Nest Of Hornets, Pit Of Snakes, Plague Of Locusts , School Of Guppies, Shiver Of Sharks,
*Shoal Of Bass, Smack Of Jellyfish, Swarm Of Wasps & Graveyard Of Zombie Pets
Animal Groups-Mammals: A Bloat Of Hippopotamuses, Caravan Of Camels, Earth Of Fox
*Colony Of Beavers, Gang Of Weasels , Harem Of Seals, Hurtle Of Sheep, Herd Of Walruses
* Implausibility Of Gnus, Leap Of Leopard, Memory Of Elephants, Mischief Of Mice
*Mob Of Kangaroos, Obstinancy Of Buffalo, Pack Of Dogs, Pod Of Whales, Romp Of Otters
*Prickle Of Porcupines, Pride Of Lions, Wisdom Of Wombats, Stubbornness Of Rhinoceroses
*& Bandeau Of Titillating Tits & Tats, Distinctly Mammalian
Animal Groups-Primates: A Band Of Gorillas, Barrel Of Howlers, Carload Of Mandrills
*Shrewdness Of Apes, Tribe Of Monkeys, Troop Of Orang-utans, Nation Of Humans
*& Congress Of Baboons, Some Say Constantly Babbling On Capitol Hill in DC These Days
Animal, Vegetable Or Mineral
Animal Who Walks At Morn Of Life On 4 Feet, Noon 2 & Eve 3? Man! [Oedipus 429BC]
Annapolis, A Drinking Town With A Sailing Problem
Annette, A Woman Who Stands Between Two Goal Posts
Annoyingly Playful
Anonymous Colleague
Anonymous Presence
Anonymous Speech
Anoraknophobia - A Portmanteau Of 'Anora' & 'Arachnophobia' [Wallace & Gromit]
Anorexic Pig
Anorexic Sumo Wrestler
21

Another Day, Another Dollar

Another Drowsy, Dusty, Delta Day ['Sleepy'- 'Ode To Billie Joe']
Another Mega-Bytes The Dust
Another One
Another Sunrise, Another New Beginning [Jonathan Lockwood Huie]
Answered Question
Answers May Be Wrong, Right, Both, Or Neither, Most Are Partly Right & Partly Wrong
Ant Can, Its Reported, Lift 50 Times & Pull 30 Times Its Weight, But What Of A Feather?
Ant-Eaters Never Sicken As They're Full Of Anty/Anti Bodies
Antennas Married, The Ceremony Wasnt Much But The Reception Was Excellent
Anti-Depressant Drug Prozac Is No Longer No. 1, That Makes Me Feel Sad
Anti-Matter
Anti-Missile Missile
Anti-Trust
Anti-Trust Laws Should Be Approached With Exactly That Attitude
Antitrust Laws, The Rules Of The Game That Enable Capitalism To ACTUALLY Work! [BJL]
Anti-War Troop-Supporter
Anticipate The Unanticipated
Anticipated Accident
Anticipated Chaos
Anticipated Events Never Live Up To Expectations
Anticipated Seldom Occurs, What We Least Expect Generally Happens
Anticipated Serendipity
Anticipated Surprise
Anticipated Uncertainty
Anticipating The Unanticipated
Antidisestablishmentarianism, Longest Non-Coined, Non-Technical English Word
Antidisestablishmentarianisms, Pro-Antidisestablishmentarianism Or Anti-Pro-Anti?
Antipasto, Is It The Cure For Pasta, & Perhaps Pesto Too?
Antique Cars
Antiques - Bought By One Generation, Discarded By Next & Sought After By Third
Antitrust Laws Are The Marques Of Queensberry Rules Of The Marketplace [Barry J. Lipson]
Antonym, The Opposite Of The Word You're Searching For
Anubis: Asteroid That May Hit Earth In 2036, After Near-Miss Predicted For 2029
Anubis: Stargate Baddie & Greek For Egyptian Jackal-Headed God Of Death
Anxiety Is Interest Paid On Trouble Before It Is Due [Dean Inge]
Anxious Patient
Any Clod Can Have The Facts, But Having An Opinion Is An Art
Any Error In Any Calculation Will Be In The Direction Of Most Harm
Any Fool Can Criticize, Condemn & Complain, & Most Fools Do [Benjamin Franklin]
Any Fool Can Know, The Point Is To Understand [Albert Einstein]
Any Fool Can Make A Rule & Every Fool Will Mind It
Any Given Program, When Up & Running, Is Obsolete
Any Husband Who Is Right Had Better Have An Apology Ready
Any Jackass Can Kick Down A Barn But It Takes A Good Carpenter To Build One [LBJ]
Any Law Enacted That Has More Than 50 Words Contains At Least One Loophole
22

Any Line, However Short, Is Still Too Long

Any Man Can Make Mistakes, But Only An Idiot Persists In His Error [Cicero]
Any Of Age Native Born American Can Be President - Thats The Risks We Take!
Any Order That Can Be Misunderstood Has Been Misunderstood
Any Past Event Can Be Made To Appear Inevitable By A Competent Historian
Any Philosophy That Can Be Put 'In A Nutshell' Belongs There
Any Port In A Storm
Any Program Will Expand To Fill Available Memory
Any Simple Problem Can Be Made Complex & Insoluble With Enough Meetings
Any Stone In Your Shoe Always Migrates To The Point Of Greatest Pain
Any Sufficiently Advanced Incompetence Is Indistinguishable From Malice [Grey's Law]
Any Sufficiently Advanced Technology Is Indistinguishable From A Rigged Demo
Any Sufficiently Advanced Technology Is Indistinguishable From Magic [Arthur C. Clark]
Any System That Relies On Computer Reliability Is Unreliable
Any System That Relies On Human Reliability Is Unreliable
Any Thought Of Extracting Useful Nuclear Energy Is 'Moonshine' [Lord Rutherford]
Anyone
Anyone Can Do Any Amount Of Work Provided It Isn't The Work He's Supposed To Do
Anyone Can Hate, It Costs To Love [John Williamson]
Anyone Can Make 1st Bite Enjoyable, Only Real Chef Can Do So For Last [Franois Minot]
Anyone Can Win When There Is No Second Entry
Anyone Engaging In Illegal Financial Transactions Will Be Caught & Persecuted [G.W. Bush]
Anyone Leaving Their Garments Here For More Than 30 Days Will Be Disposed Of
Anyone Seen Smoking Will Be Assumed To Be On Fire & Will Be Summarily Put Out
Anyone Who Believes Easy As Taking Candy From A Baby, Never Tried!
Anyone Who Goes To A Psychiatrist Ought To Have His Head Examined [Samuel Goldwyn]
Anyone Who Has Time To Look For A 4-Leaf Clover Needs To Find One
Anyone Who Hates Dogs & Loves Whiskey Can't Be All Bad [W.C. Fields]
Anyone Who Isn't Confused Here Doesn't Really Know What's Going On
Anyone Who Sees Good From All Angles Has Missed An Angle
Anyone Who Thinks Talk Is Cheap Should Get Some Legal Advice
Anyone Who Told You To Be Yourself Couldn't Have Given You Worse Advice
Anyone Who Uses The Has A Heart []
Anyone With Money To Burn Will Easily Find Someone To Tend His Fire
Anything Anybody Can Say About America Is True [Emmett Grogan]
Anything Can Be Made To Work If You Fiddle With It Long Enough
Anything Cut To Length Will Be Too Short
Anything Free Is Worth What You Pay For It
Anything Good Is Either Illegal, Immoral, Or Fattening
Anything In Excess Is Unhealthy [Tsu Gut Iz Umgezunt]
Anything Is Possible, But Nothing Is Easy
Anything Is Possible If You Just Believe
Anything That Begins Well Ends Badly, Anything That Begins Badly Ends Worse
Anything That Can Be Put In A 'Nutshell' Belongs There
Anything That Can Go Right, Will Go Wrong
Anything That Can Go Wrong Will Go Wrong
23

Anything That Happens Enough Times To Irritate You Will Happen At Least Once More
Anything That Is Too Stupid To Be Spoken Is Sung [Voltaire]
Anything Used To Its Full Potential Will Break
Anything When Dropped Will Go Out Of Sight Into The Least Accessible Space
Anything Worth Doing Is Worth Doing For Money
Anything Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Slowly [Mae West]
Anything Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Well
Anything Worth Not Doing Is Worth Not Doing Well
Anything Worth Taking Seriously Is Worth Making Fun Of
Anything You Lose Automatically Doubles In Value
Anything You Say Can & Will Be Taken Down & Used Against You
Anytime A Turtle's Up On Top Of A Fence Post, You Know He Had Some Help
Anytime Pastrami On White Bread Is Ordered At Deli 'Somewhere A Jew Dies'[Milton Berle]
Anytime Things Appear To Be Looking Better, You Have Overlooked Something
Anytime You Have 50-50 Chance Of Getting It Right, There's A 90% Probability You Won't
AOL Help
Apartments Are Not Meant To Be Apart, Theyre All Stuck Together
Apathetic Interest
Apathetically Urged
Aphrodisiacs Are In The Mind Of The Seducer Not The Seductress
Apostle Of Democracy [Thomas Jefferson]
Apostle Paul Is Appealing & Apostle Peale Appalling [Adlai Stevenson-Norman Vincent]
Apotheosis Satanus
App For Crap Its Time To Change Diaper!
Apparently Invisible
Appealable Arbitration Awards
Appear Invisible
Appear Weak When You Are Strong, & Strong When You Are Weak [Sun Tzu]
Appearance Hearing
Appearances Often Are Deceiving [Aesop]
Appellate Brief
Appendix Is As Useless To You In Your Gut As At The Back Of A Book You Wont Read
Appetite, A Universal Wolf [Shakespeare]
Appetizers Are Those Little Bits You Eat Until You Lose Your Appetite
Applause For The New Clap-Off Bra! [Simultaneously, Lights Can Be Clapped-Off Too!]
Applause For The New Clap-Off Bra, Inspired By The Clapper [Clap-On Lights]
Apple A Day Keeps The Doctor Away
Apple A Day Keeps The Doctor Away, Onion A Day Keeps Everyone Away
Apple A Day Will Keep Doctor Away, So One Every 8 Hours Will Keep 3 Doctors Away
Apple: American Indian Who Is 'Red On The Outside, White On The Inside'
Apple Never Falls Far From The Tree
Apple Of Discord
Apple Of My Eye
Apple Of Wisdom Unwisely Eaten
Apple-Pie Bed
Apple-Pie Order
24

Apple Polisher
Apple Tech Support
Apple Turnover, A Pastry Or Some Poor Apple Polisher Is Replaced By Apple
Apple Turnover: Chief Cook Steve Had Job Of Cooking Up New Products & Strategies
Apple Turnover: Chief Cook Steve Resigns Job, New Cook Tim Becomes Chief Chef
Apple Turnover: Steve Job Steps Down, Tim Cook Named Apple CEO, A Timid Cook?
Apple Tech Support
Applecart Upsets
Applesauce Rhetoric
Applied Biosystems Joins Anti-Sense Discovery Process [IronHerder Header]
Applying Applications Require Other Applications To Apply Them, Which Require
Apprentice Cook Must Be As Polite With The Dishwasher As With The Chef [Fernand Point]
Approximate Solution
Approximately Equal
April Showers Bring Forth May Flowers
April Showers Bring May Flowers, & Mayflowers Bring Mayflies & Pilgrims
Aptitude Plus Attitude Equals Ultimate Altitude
Aqualand
Aquaphobia - People's Aversion To Water; Hydrophobia - Chemicals' Aversion To Water
Arab Spring: Arabic Rebellions Which Began On December 18, 2010 In Sidi Bouzid, Tunisia
Arab Spring Began When Md. Bouazizi Set Himself Ablaze Over Corruption & Ill Treatment
Arab Spring May Dry Up Wet Tunisia , Making It As Dry As Desert Its In [Alcohol Ban?]
Arab Spring: Word Check & Phonetics For Sidi Bouzid Comes Up City Boozed [BJ Lipson]
Arabic Anti-Semitism
Arachibutyrophobia - Fear Of Peanut Butter Sticking To The Roof Of The Mouth [Peanuts]
Arachnophobia - Fear Of Spiders Sticking To The Roof Or Anywhere [1990 Film]
Arboreal Marsupial
Arby's 1980's Ad Backronym: 'Americas Roast Beef, Yes Sir!' [But, It's A Sausage!]
Arbys Roast Beef [It's Still A Sausage!]
Arbys Ultimate Angus Philly, Best Philly Outside Philly? [But Still Sausage?]
Arcane Knowledge Is Obsolete, Hidden, Esoteric Data, Understood By Only A Few Or None
Arcanery, The Practice Of Chicly Blending Arcania With Chicanery
Arcanum Of Rosicrucian Manifestos
Arch Criminal Is A Shoe Store Burglar
Archaeologist Is Best Husband, Older She Gets More Interested He Is
Archaeologist Is Best Husband, Older You Get More Interesting You Are [Agatha Christie]
Archaeologist Is Someone Whos Career Lies In Ruins
Archeologist Is Non-Canadian Archaeologist, The Ah Is Missing!
Are Atheists Insurable For Acts Of God? Is God Insurable For Acts Of Atheists?
Are Gay Heterosexuals Bisexual?
Are Sad Homosexuals Gay?
Are These Your Eyeballs, I Found Them In My Cleavage?
Are You Always This Stupid Or Are You Making A Special Effort Today?
Are You Asleep?
Are You At Your Wit's End Or Your End-All?
Are You Dis-Missed If You Reverse A Sex-Change Operation?
25

Are You Threatening Me? [Sheriff Rosco P Coltrane - Dukes Of Hazzard]

Aren't You Glad You Use Dial? Don't You Wish Everybody Did? [Dial Soap]
Arguably
Argues With Signposts & Debates Doorknobs
Argument Between Pharmacist & Patient Is A 'Pill Owe Fight
Argument Has Three Sides: Your Side, My Side & The Right Side
Arguments Have 2 Sides, Unless Personally Involved, Then There's Only One [Cutler Webster]
Arguments Squarely Have Four Sides: Your Side, My Side, The Right Side & The Light Side
Ari-Bob [Bush II For Press Secretary Ari Fleischer]
Arid Ocean
Arithmetic Is Being Able To Count Up To 20 Without Taking Off Your Shoes [Mickey Mouse]
Arithmetical Computations Are Answers To Equations, Not Solutions To Problems
Arius The Alexandrian Saw Jesus As 'The Best Of Created Beings'
Arius The Heretic Thus Saw Jesus As Not Of The Same Substance As The Almighty
Aruis' Trousered Arians Caused Trinitarians To Flee To United States Of Asq-Shamel [BJL]
Aruis' Trousered Arians Had Conquered Pre-Muslim Morocco, Scaring Them To Conn., USA
Arkansas Toothpick
Arm & Leg Monuments: Stonewall Jackson's Arm & Benedict Arnold's Leg/Foot/Boot
Arm & Leg: Stonewall Lost His Left Arm, But I Have Lost My Right [Gen. Robert E. Lee]
Arm & Leg: While Still A Beloved Hero Benedict's Leg Wound Ended His Fighting Career
Armchair Athlete
Armchair Quarterback
Armed Gunman
Armless Man Armed With Blow Gun
Armory Fairgrounds
Arm's Length Transactions
Arms Limitation
Army Intelligence
Army Is Like Sex, The Closer To Discharge The Better It Feels
Army Marches On Its Stomach
Army Navy Store Advertised Camouflage Trousers, But He Couldn't Find Them
Army Needs Leaders The Way A Foot Needs A Big Toe [Bill Murray]
Aromatic Cigar
Aroused Man Walking Sideways Through Door Going To Bangkok
Arrested Development
Arrested For Driving Me Crazy Without A License
Arrogant Humility
Arsefoots*
Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire [New York Times]
Art By Committee [IronHerder]
Art Creation Is Work, Selling It Is The Art
Art Director
Art Is A Lie That Makes Us Realize The Truth [Pablo Picasso]
Art Is Anything You Can Get Away With [Marshall Mcluhan]
Art Of Being Wise Is The Art Of Knowing What To Overlook [William James]
Art Of Faking Exhibition Poultry [By 'Foghorn Leghorn' As Told To George R. Scott]
26

Art Of Leadership Is Saying No, Not Yes, It Is Very Easy To Say Yes [Tony Blair]
Art Of Science
Art Of Simplicity Is A Puzzle Of Complexity [Douglas Horton]
Art Student
Artful Dodger
Artichoke, One Of The Earth's Monstrosities [Pliny]
Artichoke, Veggie One Has More At Dinner's End Than At Its Start [Lord Chesterfield]
Articulate Ignorance [John Seelye]
Artificial Constraint
Artificial Constraint On Billable Hour!
Artificial Entity
Artificial Entity With Natural Entitys Right Of Free Speech [Corporate Free Speech]
Artificial Fiber-Fill Jackets - This Week Only, Are Marked Down! [By 10%]
Artificial Fiber-Fill Jackets - This Week Only, Are Marked Down! [Fraud]
Artificial Grass
Artificial Insemination Is Procreation Without Recreation
Artificial Insemination Is When The Farmer Does The Cow Without The Bull
Artificial Intelligence
Artificial Intelligence Is Bound To Engender Artificial Stupidity
Artificial Intelligence Is No Match For Natural Stupidity
Artificial Intelligence Is No Substitute For The Real Thing
Artificial Intelligence Usually Beats Real Stupidity
Artificial Life
Artificial Limb
Artificial Noble Fir
Artificial Person
Artificial Reality [Myron Krueger]
Artificial Turf
Artist Conceiving A Cube Created A Mental Block
Artist, Decent Mind In Indecent Body; Censor, Indecent Mind In Decent Body [Geo. J. Nathan]
Artist Finds Greater Pleasure In Painting Than In Having A Completed Picture [Seneca]
Art's Purpose Is Washing The Dust Of Daily Life Off Our Souls [Pablo Picasso]
As A Failure You Are A Great Success
As A Kid, I Got Three Meals A Day. Oatmeal, Miss-A-Meal & No Meal [Mr. T]
As A Fellow Woman
As A Man Thinketh So Is He, & As A Man Chooseth So Is He [Emerson]
As Above, So Below; As Within, So Without [Emerald Tablet, Circa 3000 BC]
As All-American As Egg Foo Yong [New York Times 9/22/2004]
As American As Apple Pie
As American As French Apple Pie La Mode From Le Pavillon In New York [B.J. Lipson]
As American As Such Apple Pie Enhanced By Imported Savory Spices As Cinnamon & Nutmeg
Ask & It Shall Be Given You ... 'For Every One That Asketh Receiveth' [Matthew 7:7-8]
As Any Fool Can Plainly See [Li'l Abner]
As Famous As The Unknown Soldier
As Intelligence Increases, Speech Decreases [Imam Ali Ibn Aba Talib]
As I Let Go Of My Feelings Of Guilt, I Get More In Touch With My Inner Sociopath
27

As Ive Told You Before, I Never Repeat Myself

As Light Travels Faster Than Sound, People Appear Bright Until They Speak
As Long As I Can Remember, I've Had Amnesia
As Long As The Funds Are There The Funded Theory Is Supported
As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools
As Long As You Live, Keep Learning How To Live [Lucius Annaeus Seneca 4 BC-65 AD]
As Millionaires, We Could Buy All Kinds Of Useful Things Like Love! [Homer Simpson]
As No Time Like The Present, He Presently Presented The Present To Her
As One Is At Seven, So Is He At Seventy
As Our Case Is New, We Must Think Anew [Abraham Lincoln]
As Soon As The Cat Contentedly Falls Asleep On Your Lap Nature Calls
As Soon As You Trust Yourself, You Will Know How To Live [Goethe]
As Tentative As A Pregnancy, Girl! [Piers Anthony]
As The Economy Gets Better, Everything Else Gets Worse
As You Were, I Was; As I Am, You Will Be [Hell's Angels]
As We Speak
As Weird As A Fully Clothed Person In A Nudist Colony
As You Make Your Bed, So You Must Lie Upon It
As You Make Your Bed, So Will You Sleep In It
As You Sow So Shall You Reap
As You Won't Laugh At Yourself, I'll Be Glad To Do So For You
As Zeus Said To Narcissus, Watch Yourself
ASAP, As Soon As Possible
ASAP, Whatever That Means. It Must Mean Act Swiftly Awesome Pacyderm! [Dr. Seuss]
Ascetic Does Something Just Because He Would Rather Not Do It
Aseptic Ascetic Denies Self Pathological Microorganisms & Other Biological Agents
AshPoopie Cremates Your Pets Indiscretions
AshPuppie Burns Your Dogs Turds To Ash
AshPoop's Friends Include EvilNoobKitty123, JuicyJuice14, HaHaMilk & YourMommy12345
Asian Fever - Heart Sickness Over Asian Women
Asian Fever - Not To Be Mistaken For Yellow Fever, A Sickness Of The Body
Asian Indian [From India]
Ask A Question You Dont Want Answered & Expect An Answer You Dont Want To Hear
Ask A Silly Question &You'll Get A Silly Answer
Ask & It Shall Be Given You ... 'For Every One That Asketh Receiveth' [Matthew 7:7-8]
Ask Me About My Vow Of Silence
Ask Me No Questions I'll Tell You No Lies
Ask Me To Lie, I'll Tell You To Question Thyself
Ask Me No Questions & I'll Tell You No Lies
Ask No Questions & You'll Hear No Lies
Ask Not What You Can Do For Your Country, Ask What's For Lunch [Orson Welles]
Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You, Ask What You Can Do For Your Country [JFK]
Ask Your Child What He Wants For Dinner Only If He's Buying [Fran Lebowitz]
Ask Yourself One Question: 'Do I Feel Lucky?' Well, Do Ya, PUNK? [Clint Eastwood]
Asking Stupid Questions Is Better Than Repairing Stupid Mistakes
Asleep At The Wheel
28

ASMR [Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response] - That Pleasurable Tingling Sensation

Asparagus Inspires Gentle Thoughts [Charles Lamb]
Asparagus Inspires Gentle Thoughts & RAISED NOSES
Asparagus Inspires Gentle Thoughts, Crossed Asparagus Gentile Thoughts
ASPCA Official Complained His Office Is So Small, He Cant Swing A Cat In There
Aspersions Cast On My Asparagus [Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX)]
Aspirational Goals [George W. Bush - Iraq War & Climate Change]
Aspirational Goals 'Is Both A Tautology & A Paradox' [William Lutz]
Aspirations & Goals Are The Same Thing
Aspirations & Goals Combined Is 'A Goal To Which One Does Not Aspire All That Much'
Aspirations Cast On My Asparagus By Attorney General Holder, Claimed Rep. Louie Gomert
Aspirations Cast On My Asparagus was a malapropism for the ages [Huff Post]
Asq-Shamel, the Northern Land, A Religious Haven In South Connecticut, USA [Circa 500 AD]
Ass Backwards
Ass Covering Pearl Harbor Files Maintained
Assassination Is The Extreme Form Of Censorship [George Bernard Shaw]
Assassins Do It For Love Of Money
Assassins Do It From Behind
Assassins Do It In Your Sleep
Asshoe Shoes By Japan
Assistant Attorney
Assistant Manager
Assistant Principal
Assistant Supervisor
Assisted Suicide
Assumption Is The Mother Of All Foul-Ups
Assumption Is The Mother Of All Screw-Ups
Assumption s Always Begin With An Ass
Assumptions Are The Mother Of All Disasters
Assumptions Wrong, Conclusions Wrong
Astraphobia - Fear Of Thunder, Lightning & Zeus Thunderbolts
Aston Martin Auto Call It The Vanquish - We Call It The Vanish! [Q To 007]
Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft [Headline]
Astronomical Coincidence
Astronomical Coincidence? Asteroid Passes Earth As Meteor Strikes Russia [02-2013]
Astronomically Small
AstroTurf
AstroTurf Campaign
Astronomers Say Comet Should Be Visible To The Naked Idaho [L.A. Examiner]
Astutely Obtuse
Asylum Counsel Sought By Jewish Family Service For Mohammad Of Syria
At A Restaurant I Ask For A Table Near A Waiter
At Age 04 Success Is Not Peeing In Your Pants
At Age 12 Success Is Having Friends
At Age 16 Success Is Having A Drivers License
29

At Age 20 Success Is Having Sex

At Age 35 Success Is Having Money
At Age 36 You Have It Made, You Can Sleep With A Gal Half Your Age Without Going To Jail
At Age 50 Success Is Having Money
At Age 60 Success Is Having Sex
At Age 70 Success Is Having A Drivers License
At Age 75 Success Is Having Friends
At Age 80 Success Is Not Peeing In Your Pants
At Dinner Party Eat Wisely But Not Too Well & Talk Well But Not Too Wisely [Maugham]
At Emotional Wedding Even The Cake Was In Tiers
At Feast Of Ego Everyone Leaves Hungry
At High Tide The Fish Eat Ants, At Low Tide The Ants Eat Fish [Siamese Proverb]
At Holiday Time, All Roads Lead Home
At LaGuardia Planes Run Away On Runways & Land On Landfill
At Last! A Pickle That Bites Back [Marcus Valley Pickles]
At My Age, 'Getting Lucky' Means Finding My Car In The Parking Lot
At My Age, I Dont Even Buy Green Bananas [Claude Pepper]
At My Age I Need My False Teeth & Hearing Aid Before I Can Ask Where Are My Glasses
At My House These Jeans Are On Sale, They're 100% Off
At My Wage The World Doesnt Owes Me A Living, It Owes Me An Apology
At Night-Time, By Candle-Light, Even The Ugly Woman Seems Pretty
At Nudist Wedding No Need Asking, You Can See Who's The Best Man
At One Time I Was Indecisive, But Now Im Not Sure
At Sixty-Five You Begin To Regret The Sins You Didnt Commit
At The Age 66 I Became Bisexual, I Said Bye To Sex
At The Age 66 On Route 66 I Became Bisexual, I Said Bye To Sex, 66 times!
At The Ball The Moth Bawled When It Collided With A Moth Ball
At The Baths All Are Equal [In Bod Zeinen Alleh Gleich]
At The End Of The Day
At The Feast Of Ego Everyone Leaves Hungry
At The Fork In The Road, Take It
At The Fork In The Road Take It, The Knife & Spoon May Be Just Ahead
At The Tent Circus The Heat Was Intense
At This Moment In Time
At The Seafood Disco Rave Many Mussels Were Pulled
At Times Like This Silence Is Not Golden, It Is Yellow [Senator Zell Miller]
At What Point Do You Stop Lying About Your Age & Start Bragging About It?
Ate Bratwurst With Relish & Gave His Condiments To The Chef - The Wurst Of Puns!
Atheism Is A Non-Prophet Organization
Atheist Churches - An Oxymoron [Scott Onestak]
Atheist Does Not Believe In Higher Being, So Is God Is An Atheist?
Atheist Is One Who Has No Invisible Means Of Support [John Buchan]
Atheistic Theocracy
Atheists Can Do Whatever The Hell They Want
Athlete Who Cheated Death Dies [AOL News]
Athletes & Politicians Are Smart Enough To Play, Dumb Enough To Prize The Game
30

Athletic Scholar
Athletic Scholarship
Atomic Bomb Is An Invention To End All Inventions
Attack Is The Best Form Of Defense
Attempted Suicide Criminal
Attention Span Of A Computer Is Only As Long As It Electrical Cord
Attentive Husband
Attitude At The Beginning More Than Anything Determine The Outcome
Attitude At The In Come More Than Anything Determine The Outcome
Attitude Determines Success Or Failure [John C. Maxwell]
Attitude Determines Your Altitude
Attitude Is Everything
Attitude Problem Or Perception Problem?
Attitudes Are Contagious, Make Yours Worth Catching
Attorney Bernie Says Sue, We Sue; Sign, We Sign
Attorney Bernie Says Sue, We Sue; Sign, We Sign; Screw, We Screw
Attorney Sleeps First Lying On One Side, Then Lying On The Other
Attorneys Devils Advocating This & Bifurcating That [Clint Eastwood]
Atychiphobia & Autophobia - Fear Of Failure Squared
Atypically Typical
Au Naturel
Auction Winner
Auctioneer: Here Take This Nickel, Make A Dime [REM]
Auctioneers Know Lots, But Not Much More
Audience Participation
Audience Viewing
Audio Biography
Audio Feast
Audiovisual
Auditor Arrives After The Battle & Bayonets All The Wounded
Augustus Lookalike Asked If Mother Serviced At Palace? 'No, My Father' [Rome 63BC-29AD]
Aunt Jemima Light
Auntie Em, Hate You, Hate Kansas, Taking The Dog [Dorothy]
Aussie Nads Sold At Walgreens For Hair Removal Product [Public Or Pubic?]
Austerity Beats Socialism
Australia , The Country Continent
Australian & French Kisses Are Similar But One Is Given Down Under
Australian False Vampire Bat
Australian Local Area Network Is The LAN Down Under
Australian Prayer: 'Thank God You Got The Puritans While We Only Got The Convicts'
Australians & All Midgets Come From Down Under
Australia's A Pretty Big Country, But A Pretty Small Continent; But It's Sure Pretty!
Authentic Counterfeit
Authentic Replica
Authentic Reproduction
Authoritarian Anarchy
31

Auto Da F Jeanne d'Arc

Auto -Pen Robo-Signing Of Presidential Commissioning Of U.S. Military Officers
Auto Pilot
Auto Service Motto: If It Ain't Broke, We'll Break It; If It Ain't Fixed, We Did It!
Autoantibody
Autobiography
Autobots!!! Transform & Rollout!!! [Optimus Prime - The Transformers]
Autocatalysis
Autocephalous
Autochthones Fauna
Autochthonous People
Autochthonous Folktales
Autoclaved Ice Pick
Autocratic Benevolent Despot
Autodidactic Rabbi
Autoerotic Hooker
Autogamous Rabbit
Autogenetic Conception
Autogenic Insomniac
Autoimmune System Shute Down
Automagically The Calculator Answered Correctly
Automated Data Entry
Automated Teller
Automatic Drive
Automatic Pilot
Automatic Transmission
Automatic Washer
Automatic Washing Machines, Please Remove All Your Clothes When The Light Goes Out
Automatic Weapon
Automatiste
Automatize The Production
Automysophobia
Autonomous Cosa Nostra
Autonomous Judiciary
Autonomous Jute Economies
Autopsy Is A Dying Practice
Avarice & Injustice Are Always Shortsighted [Adam Smith]
Average Easiness
Average Gal Would Pick Beauty Over Brains As Average Man Sees Better Than He Thinks
Average, Maybe A Little Bit Less
Average Person Thinks He Isn't
Average Uneasiness
Aviophobia & Aviatophobia - Fear Of Flying One Way & Round Trip
Avoid Affected & Also Awkward Alliteration
Avoid Ambiguity, Adopt Clarity
Avoid Archaisms
32

Avoid Clichs Like The Plague [William Safire]

Avoid Fruits & Nuts. You Are What You Eat [Jim Davis]
Avoid Hangovers, Stay Drunk
Avoid It Like The Plaque
Avoid The Plaque
Avoid Trendy Locations Sounding Flaky [William Safire]
Avoid Trendy Locutions Sounding Frisky
Aw, Did I Step On Your Poor Little Itty Bitty Ego?
Awful Alcatraz
Awful Chichen Itza
Awfully Good
Awful Great Pyramid of Giza
Awful sle du Diable [Devil's Island]
Awful Sing Sing
Awful Small
Awful Stonehenge
Awful Taj-Mahal
Awfully Amazing
Awfully Awful
Awfully Good
Awfully Nice
Awfully Pretty
Axe Soon Forgets, But The Tree Always Remembers [Shona Proverb]
Axis Of Freedom: Iran, North Korea, Syria & The NRA [Colbert Reports]
Ayds Diet Candy [US 1980's]
Ayds Diet Candy Aided Those Aides With AIDS In Joining Aides, God Of The Underworld

B
Babe In Arms
Baby Doctor
Baby Fresh
Baby Ruth Candy Bars Individually Parachuted Thousands Of Bars Over Pittsburgh In 1923
Baby Ruth Candy Bars Not Licensed By Babe Ruth Or Babe Ruths Estate Until 1995
Babe Ruth: I Know I Make More Than Prez But I Had A Better Year Than Hoover [$80,000]
Babe Ruth Yanked Away From Yankees To Play & Be Figure Head For Boston Braves [1935]
Babe Ruth Yanked Yankees Chain, Hitting 1935 Last 3 Home Runs At Forbes Field [Pittsburgh]
Babe Ruth's 1932 Called Shot Was 490 Ft Wrigley Field Home Run [Last World Series Hit]
Babelicious Bananas Foster Angel Food Cake [Orlando Sentinel]
Baboon Metaphysics [Dorothy L. Cheney, Or Is It Really Jane Goodall Or VP Dick Cheney?]
Baby Bull
Baby Carrier
Baby Elephant
Baby Factory
Baby Giant
Baby Grand [Piano]
Baby Grand [Wonderful]
33

Baby Grand Hotel [Athens, Greece]

Baby Is God's Opinion That The World Should Go On [Carl Sandburg]
Baby Machine
Baby Seal Walks Into A Club, What A Tragedy!
Baby Sit
Baby Sitter
Baby Wooly Seal Shambled Into Club Where He Was Carded & Spun
Baby, You're So Sweet Youll Put Hershey's Outta Business
Babyland Breastfeeding Prohibited
Because Things Are As They Are, Things Will Not Stay As They Are [Bertolt Brecht]
Bachelor Comes To Work From A Different Direction Each Morning
Bachelor Is A Man Who Is Footloose & Fiance-Free
Bachelor Is A Man Who Never Makes The Same Mistake Once
Bachelor Is Like A Modern Cleanser, Works Fast & Leaves No Ring
Bachelor: Selfish, Undeserving Guy Who Cheated Some Woman Of A Divorce [Don Quinn]
Bachelor's Life Is A Fine Breakfast, A Flat Lunch & A Miserable Dinner [Francis Bacon]
Bachelor's Life Is No Life For A Single Man [Samuel Goldwyn]
Bachelors' Wives & Old Maids' Children Are Always Perfect [Nicolas Chamfort]
Back Again
Back Biter
Back Biter Coming Back Backed Into My Back & Bit A Bit
Back Down Backbiter
Back Home We Have Commonsense, Nonsense & Gun Sense [Sen. Joe Manchin, D-WV]
Back Off! You're Standing In My Aura
Back Pay Or Pay Back?
Back To The Drawing Board
Back To The Drawing Board, Or Not
Back In The Saddle Again! [Roy Rogers]
Back To The Future [1985]
Back To The Future, Once, Twice, Three-Times [1985, 1989, & 1990!]
Back To Top
Back Together Again
Backbiter Biteer Back
Backbiter Biteer Back, She Bit Your Back First
Backbiter Biteer Back, She Bit Your Back First Biting Her Back
Backbiter Biteer Back, Shes Sexy Back There
Backbone Wishy-Washy, No Wishbone Can Help
Backdoor Front
Backed Into Greatness
Backlash
Backlash Occurs As Soon As One Turns One's Back
Backlashed Turncoat Turned The Other Cheek When Whip Slipped
Backseat Driver
Backside
Backup Computers To Get Back Up To Speed
Backup Computers, But Back Into Life Without Backing-Up Our Minds
34

Backwards Poet Wrote Inverse

Bacon & Eggs, Day's Work For Chicken, Lifetime Commitment For Pig
Bacteria Almost Always Have The Decency To Be Microscopic
Bacterium Epulopiscium Fishelsoni Large Enough To Be Seen With Naked Eye [.5 MM Long]
Bacterium's Weight Is De Minimus, Bacteria In Adult Human Body Weigh 2 To 9 Pounds
Bad Artists Copy, Good Artists Steal, Great Artists Revise & Extrapolate!
Bad Becomes Better The Worse That Happens
Bad Becomes Good When Worse Happens
Bad Breath Is Better Than No Breath At All
Bad Checks Travel Faster Than The Speed Of Light
Bad Decision May Be Better Than No Decision
Bad First Impression Isn't Fatal, Just Needs Years Of Rehab [IronHerder]
Bad Fortune
Bad Good-Bye
Bad Hair Day
Bad Hare Day
Bad Health
Bad Is Bad Until Worse Happens
Bad Karma
Bad Is Never Good Until Worse Happens
Bad Law Is More Likely To Be Supplemented Than Repealed
Bad Lay
Bad Live So They May Eat & Drink, Good Eat & Drink So They May Live [Socrates]
Bad Losers Make Worse Winners
Bad Luck
Bad Luck Is Better Than No Luck At All
Bad Men Live To Eat & Drink, Good Men Eat & Drink That They May Live [Socrates]
Bad Money Drives Out Good
Bad News Encounters High Impedance In Flowing Upward
Bad News Travels Fast
Bad Peace Is Better Than A Good War
Bad Penny Always Turns Up
Bad Pizza [Richard Acello]
Bad Plan Is Better Than No Plan
Bad Publicity Is Good Publicity
Bad Regulations Beget De-Regulation Which Begets Re-Regulation
Bad Regulations Beget Worse Regulations
Bad Regulations Beget Worse Regulations, Worse Regulations Beget Better Regulations
Bad Sex [Richard Acello]
Bad Spellers Of The World Untie!
Bad Sport
Bad Times Are Needed To Recognize & Enjoy Good Times
Bag Lady
Bagel Break, Where You Brake For Your Bagel Break & Bagel Breakfast
Bagel Holes, Please. Sorry Sir, Thats Physically & Grammatically Impossible
Bagel Is A Doughnut With The Sin Removed [George Rosenbaum]
35

Bagel Is An Unsweetened Doughnut With Rigor Mortis [Beatrice & Ira Freeman]
Bagel Of Oat-Bran & Fruit Is 'Ill-Conceived Bagel Form If There Ever Was One' [Ed Levine]
Bagel - Rolled, Boiled Then Baked Crusty Tail-In-Mouth Bread Roll With A Natural Hole
Bagel, Yiddish For A Universally Beloved Carrier Of Cream Cheese & Lox
Bagels Are Made With Love & A Little Cement
Bagels Given As A Gift To Any Woman In Childbirth [Kracow, Poland, 1610 - Leo Rosten]
Bagels Unlike Donuts Dont Have Their Centers Cut Out & Incongruously Sold As Holes
Baggage Handling
Baggy Tights
Bagless Vacuum
Bagpipes Are The Missing Link Between Music & Noise
Bags Of Steam
Bain Capital, A Bane On The Romney Campaign
Bait & Switch
Bait & Switch, A Caveat Emptor Capitalist Tradition
Bait! In Mexico That's Our Word For Sushi! [Jose Simon]
Bait Of Falsehood Takes This Carp Of Truth [Shakespeare]
Bait The Hook Well, This Fish Will Bite [Shakespeare]
Baked Alaska
Baked Apples Are At The Core Of Modern Thinking [Naomi Kobuko]
Baked Apples Are At The Core Of Modern Thinking, But To Make Them They Are 1st Cored
Baked French Fries
Baked Potato Chips
Bakers Have A Great Knead To Make Bread
Bakers Job Is A Piece Of Cake
Bakers Motto: 'It's Nice To Be Kneaded.'
Bakers Provide Bread Recipes On A Knead-To-Know Basis
Bakers Sell Bread Recipes On A Knead The Dough Basis
Bakers Will Rise To The Occasion, It's The Yeast They Can Do
Bakery Jobs Are Handy If You Knead Dough
Bakery Workers Kneaded Dough
Bakku-Shan, Jap Japped & Japed By Shock Of Seeing Foxy Tail Turn Around Into A Dog
Bakku-Shan, Shock Of Drooling Over A Gal's #10 Rear, On Seeing Her #01 Front
Balanced Diet Is 8 Oz Hotdog In One Hand & 8 Oz Classic Coke In Other
Balanced Federal Budget
Balanced Insanity
Balcony Is Closed [Roger Ebert]
Bald Guys Never Have A Bad Hair Day
Balding Hair
Ball Club
Ball Diamond
Ball Point
Ballerinas Do It Gracefully In Any Position
Ballet Flamenco
Ballot Is Stronger Than The Bullet [Abraham Lincoln]
Balloon Factory Needs To Keep Up With Inflation
36

Ballpoint
Bally Nuisance
Ballyhoo Artist
Ballyragged
Bam Bam
Bam Bam Bigelow
Bama [Bush II For Barack Obama]
Bama Bam Bams Bushs Heir
Bamm-Bamm Bam Bam's Pebbles In The Pebbles & Bamm-Bamm Show
Bamm-Bamm Shows Pebbles All! -- 'Yabba Dabba Dooozie!', She Exclaims
Bamm-Bamm Rubble
Ban Flag Burning [Constitutional Amendment]
Band Aid Looking For A Cut
Banana: Asian Who Is Yellow On The Outside, White On The Inside
Ban On Runny Yolks Not Going Over Easy [Spartanburg Herald-Journal]
Ban Right To Say 'Fuck' & You Ban Right To Say 'Fuck The Government' [Lenny Bruce]
Banana Trees Would They Be In The Palm Tree Family, They Do Grow Hands & Fingers?
Banana Trees Wouldn't Be Palm Trees, Or Fruit Trees, Or Trees Of Any Kind
Banana Trees, Zonkers! - They're Woodless, All Leaf, Herb Growing Herbaceous Plants
Band Banned
Band Groupie Got A Mind Like A Stool Clap, Whatever The Hell That Is!
Band Groupie With Stool Clap Mind Got Caught In A Steel Trap Reality
Band Jocks
Bandage Wound Up, Wound Around The Wound
Bandar Bush [Bush II For Saudi Ambassador To U.S. Bandar Bin Sultan]
Bangers Banged An Old Banger While Bangers Exploded Above - Bang Bang Bang!
Bangers Eaten In Old Banger While Bangers Exploded Above - Bang Bang Bang!
Bangers Gangbanged An Old Banger In An Older Banger As She Feasted On Bangers
Banished Band Vanished From Headlines
Bank On Success
Bank On Success, But Don't Expect To Be Able To Make Any ATM Withdrawals
Bank Praises Credit Card Fraud System [EDS Global Communications]
Bank Robbing Musician Made Off With The Lute, Left Money
Banker Left Banking When He Lost Interest
Banker Lends You An Umbrella When Sunny & Takes It Back As Soon As It Starts Raining
Banker Who Sits In Freezer Has Frozen Assets
Bankers After Losing Interest In The Bank Crash Lost Interest In Banking
Banking Bubble Burst?
Bankrupt Bank
Bankrupt Bum
Bankrupt Economy
Bankrupt Millionaire
Banks Are Too Big To Fail & Too Big To Jail [Colbert Report]
Bank's Checkbook Balance of Your Account Is Always Smaller Than Yours
Banks Got Bailed Out, We Got Sold Out [NYC Demonstrations]
Banks Have Branches Because Money Grows On Trees?
37

Banned Band Banded Together Donning A Bonnie Blue Band Of Brotherhood

Banned Band In Burbank After Being Banned In Boston
Banned Books
Banned In Boston
Banning The Bra Caused A Big Flop
Banning The Bra Was A Big Flop
Baptism By Fire
Baptism Of Fire
Baptism Of The Dead: Vicarious Or Proxy Baptism For/Of One Dying Unbaptized
Baptism Under Fire
Baptism Under Heaven Outdoor Baptism
Baptism Under Water Full Immersion
Baptismal Dismal
Banquet: Drab Food Surrounded By Dreary Speeches & Appeals For Donations [Bennett Cerf]
Banquet Is Probably Most Fatiguing Thing In The World Except Ditchdigging [Mark Twain]
Banquet: Lots Of Unwanted Food & Non-Understand Talking To Those Not Wanting To Hear
Bar Entrance
Bar Exam
Bar Harbor Scraggs Are Barred From Every Harbor [Li'l Abner]
BaraBing BaraBum
BaraBing BaraBum BaraBang [Amusement Ride]
Barbarity That Clarity Is A Rarity [Bones - Science Dude]
Barber Shaves All Men Who Dont Shave Self? Who Shaved Barber? [Unanswerable?]
Barber Shaves Enigma Answerable? Barber Is Woman Or He Shaved Self?
Bare Arms
Bare Arms Bear Arms
Bare Arms Bore Arms
Bare Assed
Bare Blade
Bare Booty Sphinx Breeds Hairless Registered Sphinx Cats
Bare Cupboard
Bare Facts
Bare False Witness
Bare Feet Are Splinter Magnets
Bare Hill
Bare-Knuckle Business Characterized By Disorderly Actions & Disregard For Rules
Bare-Knuckle Capitalism Characterized By Disorderly Actions & Disregard For Rules
Bare Livelihood
Bare Majority
Bare-Naked Ladies
Bare Walls
Bare Wood
Bare Your Bare Breasts & Bear Them Proudly!
Bare Your Breasts
Bare Your Feelings
Bared Soul
38

Barefoot Church - Bare Your Souls, Wiggle Your Toes [Barefoot Landing, Myrtle Beach, SC]
Barefoot Church - Can You Bare Your Souls & Keep Your [Bare] Foot Out Of Your Mouth?
Barefoot Church Opponents: Shoo The Devil, Put Your Shoes Back In Christ
Barely Bare
Barely Clothed
Barely Dressed
Barely Eighteen
Barely Used Nudist Re-Sale Shoppe
Barely Used Re-Sale Shoppe
Barenaked Ladies
Barenaked Ladies With Beards
Barfy Burgers!
Bargain Basement Upstairs [London Department Store]
Bargain Is Something You Dont Need At A Price You Cant Resist
Bark For Barack [Bo Obama]
Barking Dogs Seldom Bite
Barking Up The Wrong Tree
Barn Burning
Barn Dance
Barn Dance Dosey Doe Your Four Corners!
Barn Fire
Barn Raising
Barn Raising New Amish Built Barn Raised, Upped & Filled With Hay In A Day
Barn Raising Old Rotting Barn Raised, Downed & Cleared Away In A Day
Barn Raising Sturdy Floodplain Barn Raised & Upped Ten Feet Above Bay In A Day
Barn Storming
Barnes Dance
Barnes Dance Dosey Doe Your Four Street Corners!
Barnyard
Barry [Barack Obama]
Bars Should Have Storage Lots Not Parking Lots
Bart Bit A Bit & Barfed
Bartender Is Just A Pharmacist With A Limited Inventory
Base Acid
Baseball As I Watched Kept Getting Bigger & Then It Hit Me!
Baseball Stands Are Made For Sitting!
Basic Acid
Basic Unit Of Laryngitis Is One Hoarsepower
Basically Complicated
Basket Case
Basketball
Basketball Jock Nuts Over Lady Midget
Basketball Star Dribbled While He Dribbled Dont Panky, Pass The Hanky!
Bass A Leaping Were Painted On The Base Of The Bass Fiddle
Bass Ackwards [Ass Backwards]
Bass Guitar
39

Bass Was Painted On The Base Of The Bass Fiddle

Batchez? Batchezz?? We Dont Need No Steenking Batchezzz! [Treasure Of Sierra Madre]
Bath Fitter, Theres Only One! Why? Its Registered []!
Bath Towels Should Never Need Washing As They Are Used When We Are Clean
Bathing Suit
Bats Are Out Of The Belfry
Bat's Breath! [Phineas Bogg - Voyagers!]
Batteries Die At The Most Critical Time Of The Most Complex Problem
Batteries Die At The Most Critical Time Possible
Batteries Not Included
Battle Dress
Battle of Bunker Hill Actually Fought On & Around Breeds Hill [June 17, 1775]
Battle of Bunker Hill Redcoats Won With 1054 Casualties [ Colonials Lost 441 Casualties]
Battle Of The Bulge - German Ardennes Offensive [16 December 1944 - 25 January 1945]
Battle Of The Bulge - Liposuction Of The Tummy
Battle Ready
Bay Ridge, Just Beyond Bay Bridge - Come Over The Bridge, Head Up To The Ridge
Bazaar Items For Sale In Middle East Outdoor Markets
BBF [Back Burner Friend]
BC
BCE
BCE Before The Common Era, Before The Christian Era Or Before The Coming Of Eros
Be A Student Of Change, It's The Only Thing That'll Remain Constant [Anthony J. D'Angelo]
Be Alert! The World Needs More Lerts
Be All That You Can Be [United States Army]
Be Awesome! Be A Book Nut! [Dr. Seuss]
Be Bold In What You Stand For & Careful In What You Fall For
Be Bold With Bananas [Australian Banana Growers Council]
Be Braver, You Can't Cross A Chasm In Two Small Jumps
Be Careful About Reading Health Books, You May Die Of A Misprint [Mark Twain]
Be Careful Of Your Thoughts, They May Become Words At Any Moment
Be Careful Reading Health Books, You May Die Of A Misprint [Mark Twain]
Be Careful What You Wish For, You Just Might Get It
Be Content With What You Have Or Be Thankful For What You Dont Have
Be Darn Proud Of Being Modest!
Be Drug-Free & Smoke Some Crack [Samuel Goldwyn]
Be Frank & Ernest With Women, Frank In Chicago, Ernest In Detroit
Be Gentle First With Yourself [Lama Yeshe]
Be Gentle With The Earth [Dali Lama]
Be Good & If You Cant Be Good, Be Careful
Be Good & If You Cant Be Good, Have Fun
Be Here Now, When You Can [Ron McIntosh]
Be Human, Dont Act Like An Ass!
Be Humble As A Dove, But Also Be Clever As A Snake
Be Kind, For Everyone You Meet Is Fighting A Harder Battle [Plato]
Be Kind To Your Dentist, She Has Fillings Too!
40

Be Like A Postage Stamp, Stick To One Thing Until You Get There
Be My Wife... Well? Let's Just Live In Sin [Rock Monster 2008]
Be Naughty, Save Santa The Trip
Be Nice To Nerds, Chances Are Youll End Up Working For One [Bill Gates]
Be Nice To The People On Your Way, You'll Meet The Same People On Your Way Down
Be Nice To Your Kids. They'll Choose Your Nursing Home
Be Not Inhospitable To Strangers Lest They Be Angels In Disguise [Shakespeare]
Be Not Simply Good, Be Good For Something [Henry David Thoreau]
Be Not Your Our Worst Enemy, Be Your Own Best Friend
Be On A Good Footing
Be One With Your Duality
Be Realistic, Go For The Impossible! [ Paulo Coelho]
Be Realistic, Plan For A Miracle! [Osho]
Be Safety Conscious, Eighty Percent Of People Are Caused By Accidents
Be Silent & You'll Be Thought Stupid, Speak & You'll Remove All Doubt
Be Slow In Choosing A Friend, Slower In Changing [Benjamin Franklin]
Be Spontaneous
Be Sure To Mock People Who Take Themselves Too Seriously
Be Sure To Obtain Meteorological Data Before Leaving On Vacation
Be Teeming, Be Abuzz, Bee's Swarming All Abuzz
Be Thankful We're Not Getting All The Government We're Paying For [Will Rogers]
Be The Change That You Wish To See In The World [Mahatma Gandhi]
Be True To Thyself
Be Wary Of Strong Drink, It Can Make You Shoot At Tax Collectors, & Miss!
Be What You Are; It Is Better That Way, Dolph [Piers Anthony]
Be Who You Are For Those Who Mind Don't Matter & Those Who Matter Don't Mind
Be Wiser Than Other People If You Can, But Do Not Tell Them So [Lord Chesterfield]
Be Yourself
Be Yourself, Everyone Else Is Already Taken [Oscar Wilde]
Beady Eyed
Bean Dizzy Now? [Dean Busy]
Beans & Bacon In Peace Better Than Cakes & Ale In Fear [Aesop]
Beans Are Neither Fruit Nor Musical [Nancy Cartwright]
Beans Refried Are Tasty Fine, Would Beans Just Fried Be Also Fine, While Saving Time?
Beanz Meanz Heinz [British Heinz Slogan]
Bear A Child
Bear A Resemblance
Bear A Scar
Bear A Signature
Bear A Title
Bear Arms
Bear Arms Bear Arms [Yogi]
Bear Bears Bear Cub
Bear Constant Criticism
Bear False Witness
Bear Fruit
41

Bear Gifts
Bear Heavy Load
Bear Naked Granola [US]
Bear News
Bear Orders
Bear Responsibility
Beard Irritated Me At First, But Then It Kinda Grew On Me
Bearded Tits*
Barnaise Sauce Is Simply Egg Yolk, Shallot, Tarragon Vinegar, Butter & Years Of Practice
Beast In The Hole
Beast Of Buffalo [Grover Cleveland]
Beat Around The Bush
Beat The Unbeatable, Mount The Unmountable, Scroot The Inscrutable, & Eff The Ineffable
Beat Them At Black Jack, Then They Beat Me Back Black & Blue [Oh! My Aching Back!]
Beat Your Child Once A Day. If You Don't Know Why, He Does
Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves
Beatings Will Continue Until Morality Improves
Beatlemania
Beatles
Beatles Rode In Beetles
Beatles When Out Front Rode In Beetles With Engines In Back
Beau Brummell [Not Dandy But A Dandy]
Beau Geste [Gracious But Meaningless Gesture]
Beau Tenebreux [Dark & Handsome]
Beautiful Badlands
Beautiful Birds, The Only Kind We Cage
Beautiful Corpse
Beautiful Disaster
Beautiful Flaws
Beautiful Funeral
Beautiful Young People Are Acts Of Nature, Beautiful Old People Are Works Of Art
Beauty & The Beast
Beauty & The Breast Is Best
Beauty Can Pierce One Like A Pain [Thomas Mann]
Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beer Holder
Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder
Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder & The Bolder The Holder The Better The Eyeful
Beauty Is Only A Light Switch Away
Beauty Is Only Skin Deep
Beauty Is Only Skin Deep & The World Is Full Of Thin Skinned People
Beauty Is Only Skin Deep, But Ugly Goes Clean To The Bone [Dorothy Thompson]
Beauty Is Only Skin Deep, Fashion Is Even Shallower
Beauty Is Potent, Money Is Omnipotent
Beauty Lasts For A Moment, But Ugly Goes On & On & On
Beauty Masks The Truth
Beauty Of Destruction
42

Beauty Parlor: A Place Where Women Curl Up & Dye

Beauty Without Grace Is The Hook Without The Bait [Ralph Waldo Emerson]
Beauty's Sister Is Vanity, & its Daughter Lust
Beaver: A Furry Rodent With A Flat Tail That Chomps Down Trees & Builds Dams
Beaver: A Furry Tail/Pussy That Sits On Ones Face & Seeks To Swallow Tongue
Beaver Bash
Beaver Fever: Also Bieber Fever (See), Media's Term For Justin Bieber's Affect On Pre-Teens
Beaver Fever: Also Giardiasis, Intestinal Disease Caused By Microbe Giardia Lamblia
Beaver Fever: Chlamydia, Gash Rash Or Another STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease)
Beaver Fever: Extreme Horniness, The Overpowering Desire To Pursue Women's Beavers
Beaver Fever: Linked To STD [Seducible Tiny Dolls]
Beaver Minus AV Equals Beer [AudioVisual]
Beaver Moon
Beaver Party
Because It's There [George Mallory On Climbing Mount Everest]
Becoming Number One Is Easier Than Remaining Number One [Senator Bill Bradley]
Bed Canopy
Bed Is A Paradox, We Go To It With Reluctance, Yet We Quit It With Regret [Nash]
Bed Is Launching Pad For Guided Muscle
Bed Linens Are For Beds, Bed Liners Are For Trucks, Ladies Are Bedded In Both
Bedlam Bards Beat Me
Bedridden?, MD Asked - Why, Not For About 20 Years - When My Husband Was Alive
Bedrock
Bedrock American Society Is Anti-Capital Punishment & Anti-Choice?
Bedrock American Society Is Anti-Capital Punishment & Anti-Life?
Bedrock American Society Is Anti-Capital Punishment & Pro-Choice?
Bedrock American Society Is Anti-Capital Punishment & Pro-Life?
Bedrock American Society Is Pro-Capital Punishment & Anti-Choice?
Bedrock American Society Is Pro-Capital Punishment & Anti-Life?
Bedrock American Society Is Pro-Capital Punishment & Pro-Choice?
Bedrock American Society Is Pro-Capital Punishment & Pro-Life?
Bedrock American Society Professes To Be Anti-Choice Or Anti-Life?
Bedrock American Society Professes To Be Anti-Choice Or Pro- Choice?
Bedrock American Society Professes To Be Anti-Life Or Anti-Choice?
Bedrock American Society Professes To Be Anti-Life Or Pro- Choice?
Bedrock American Society Professes To Be Pro-Choice Or Pro-Life?
Bedrock American Society Professes To Be Pro-Life Or Anti-Choice?
Bedrock American Society Profoundly Confused By This Spin Doctor Psycho-Rhetoric
Bedroom Community
Bedrock American Society
Beedie Beedie Beedie [Buck Rogers]
Beef Cake
Beef Up
Beef Wellington Was Chic, But 'Like Napoleon, It Met Its Waterloo' [Rene Veaux]
Beefeaters [London]
Been Through The Mill
43

Beeping Sleauty [F. Chase Taylor- Twisted Tales-Sleeping Beauty]

Beer Drinking Will Be The Urination Of You
Beer Is Made By Men, Wine By God [Martin Luther]
Beer Is Proof That God Loves Us & Wants Us To Be Happy
Beer, It's Not Just For Breakfast Anymore
Beer Not Good Party Drink Where You Don't Know Where The Bathroom Is [Billy Carter]
Beer Nuts Vary In Price, Deer Nuts Are Always Under A Buck
Beer That Made Milwaukee Famous [Schlitz]
Beer That Made Milwaukee Jealous [Mexican Brewery]
Beer, The Cause Of & Solution To All Of Life's Problems [Homer Simpson]
Beer, The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon!
Beetle With Engine In Front
Before Borrowing Money From A Friend, Decide Which You Need More
Before Marriage A Man Yearns For Love, After Marriage He Earns For Love
Before Marriage A Man Yearns For Love, After Marriage He Yearns Even Harder
Before Marrying A Girl, Look At Her Mother
Before They Invented Drawing Boards, What Did They Go Back To? [George Carlin]
Before Time
Before You Speak Ask Yourself 'Does It Improve On The Silence?' [Sai Baba]
Beggars Can't Be Choosers [John Heywood]
Begin At The Beginning & Go On Till You Come To The End - Then Stop [Alice-King]
Begin The Beguine [Cole Porter]
Begin The Beguine? I Wont Dance, Dont Ask Me, Madame White Lady!
Begin The Beguine? Madame White Lady Choose, Dance The Beguine Or The Continental?
Begin The Beguine Means Start White Lady, But If You Start You Must Finish!
Begin The Beguine? Merci Beaucoup ... Music Leads The Way To Romance
Begin With The End Result In Mind [Brian Caruthers]
Beginner Who Has Just Started Is Tautological
Beginners Guide To Sex In The Afterlife [Dylan Tayler]
Beginning Finnish [Language Text]
Beginning Is The Most Important Part Of The Work [Plato]
Beginning of The End
Begone
Behave Badly
Behind A Successful Man There's A Woman; Behind An Unsuccessful Man, There Are Two
Behind Every Great Fortune There Is A Crime [Honor De Balzac]
Behind Every Great Man Is A Puzzled Woman
Behind Every Great Man There's A Great Dame
Behind Every Great Man There's A Great Dane
Behind Every Great Man There's A Great Woman
Behind Every Successful Man Is A Surprised Woman [Maryon Pearson]
Behind Every Successful Man Is A Woman, Behind Her Is His Wife
Bein' An Idiot Ain't No Box Of Chocolates [Forrest Gump Book]
Being A Husband Is Like Any Other Job, It Helps A Lot If You Like The Boss
Being Average Is Being The Best Of The Worst, Or The Worst Of The Best
Being Crazy Isn't Enough [Dr. Seuss]
44

Being Deeply Loved Gives You Strength, Loving Deeply Gives You Courage [Lao Tzu]
Being Done By The Same Man Does Not Make Them Relatives
Being Frustrated Is Disagreeable, But Real Disasters Begin When You're Not!
Being Interested In Them Makes More Friends Than Getting Them Interested In You
Being On The Right Track Will Do You No Good If You're Going In The Wrong Direction
Being On The Right Track Will Get You Run Over If You Just Sit There [Will Rogers]
Being Paranoid Means Never Having To Think That You're Alone
Being Proud Of What We Know & Ashamed Of Ignorance Is Barrier To Advancement [Brown]
Being Right Too Soon Is Socially Unacceptable
Being Wrapped Up In Oneself Makes A Very Shoddy Package
Belch Is A Wild Burp, Burp Is A Mild Belch
Believe In Ourselves & We Can Risk Any Experience Revealing The Human Spirit [E.E.C.]
Believe In Psycho-Kinesis? Raise My Hand!
Believe In Yourself
Believe It... Or Not [Ripley's]
Believe That Life Is Worth Living & Your Belief Will Help Create The Fact [William James]
Believing In Superstition Brings Bad Luck
Bell Ringer
Bellevue Patients' Card Tournament Cancelled As No Player Had A Full Deck
Belly Button
Belly Button Lint
Belly Dancer
Belly Fully Gorged Never Produced A Sprightly Mind [Jeremy Taylor]
Belly Jewel
Belly Rules The Mind [Spanish Proverb]
Belly Whooper
Beloved Man [Benjamin Hawkins' Creek Honorific Title - Chief Indian Agent 1796-1816]
Belt Buckles On Hats Failed To Hold Up Pilgrims Pantaloons
Ben-Gay Analgesic Heat Rub [US Pre-1995]
Benator [Bush II For Ben Nelson, Democratic Senator, Nebraska]
Beneath This Pillow, Lies The Key To My Release [Covering Groin & Handcuff Key SH 09]
Benevolent Despot
Benevolent Dictator
Benevolent Tyrant
Benign Is What You Will Be After You Be Eight
Benign Military Occupation
Benign Neglect
Benign To Ridicules
Benign Tumor
Berlin Wall Airlift
Berlin Wall Grand Opening
Berlin Wall Stoned
Berlin Wall Stones For Sale
Bermuda, Where Left Is Right & Right Is Wrong
Besotted Sot
Bessie Stopped Giving Milk The Other Day, She's An Udder Failure
45

Best Activities For Health Are Pumping & Humping [Arnold Schwarzenegger]
Best Bud [Classic Budweiser]
Best Bud [Closest Friend, Bud, Pal]
Best Bud [Lover's Clitoris]
Best Bud [Titan Arum Bud - Worlds Largest Flower]
Best Bud [Weed, Budha, Dank, Skunk, Red, Green, Wacky Tobacky, Grass, Cheeba, Pot]
Best Car Safety Device Is A Rear-View Mirror, With A Cop In It!
Best Cure For Insomnia Is To Get A Lot Of Sleep [W.C. Fields]
Best Defense Against Rape Is To Beat Off The Attacker
Best Defense Is A Good Offence
Best Exercise, Reach Down & Pull Somebody Up
Best Explanation Is Not Always The Simplest, But The Simplest Is Most Often The Best
Best Foot Forward
Best Gift For Someone With Everything? - A Burglar Alarm!
Best Gift For Someone With Everything? A Spring Cleaning!
Best Kept Secret Is a Clear Round Diamond Kept In A Bowl Of Clear Round Marbles
Best Kept Secret Is Kept In Plain Sight
Best Kept Secret Is Kept Out Of Mind So It Is Out of Sight
Best Kind Of Wealth Is To Give Up Inordinate Desires
Best Laid Schemes O' Mice An' Men Gang Aft A-Gley [Robert Burns]
*An' Lea'e Us Nought But Grief & Pain For Promised Joy [RB 1785]
Best-Laid Schemes Of Mice & Men Oft Bear Unwanted Fruit
Best Man At A Wedding Never Gets To Prove It!
Best Measure Of Someone's Honesty Is The Zero Adjust On Their Bathroom Scale
Best Mind-Altering Drug Is The Truth
Best Of Book Is Not The Thought Contained, But The Thought Suggested [O. W. Holmes]
Best Of Don Lane [American-Born Australian Comedian & Talk Show Host]
Best Of Geraldo
Best Of Times Worst Of Times
Best Person For A Job Is Generally The One That Understands It Enough Not To Want It
Best Poet Is The Man Who Delivers Our Daily Bread - The Local Baker [Pablo Neruda]
Best Proof Of Intelligent Alien Life Out There Is That We've Never Been Contacted
Best Prophet Is Common Sense, Our Native Wit [Euripides]
Best Proof Of Love Is Trust
Best Rack! But On A Buck Or A Doe?
Best Reasons Make The Worst Excuses
Best Response To A Cruel, Mean-Spirited Attack Is Silence [Ann Landers]
Best Safety Device Is A Car's Rear-View Mirror With A Cop In It [Gil Stern]
Best Sauce In The World Is Hunger [Cervantes]
Best Sermons Are Lived, Not Preached
Best Speech Is The One You Dont Make
Best Theories Not Only Truer Than Common Sense, They Make More Sense Than Common Sense
Best Thing About Standards Is That There Are So Many To Choose From
Best Thing About The Good Old Days Is I Wasn't Good & I Wasn't Old
Best Things Always Happen When The Camera Is Off
Best Things In Life Are Free
46

Best Things In Life Arent Things

Best Things In Life Go On Sale Sooner Or Later
Best Things In The World Are Free & Worth Every Penny Of It
Best Time To Buy New Mattress Is At First Sign Of Spring
Best Vitamin For Making Friends Is B-1, 2B1ASK1
Best Way Out Is Always Through [Robert Frost]
Best Way To A Man's Heart Is Through His Breast Plate
Best Way To A Man's Heart Is Through His Stomach
Best Way To Be Happy Is To Make The Other Person Happy [Dalai Lama]
Best Way To Become Boring Is To Say Everything [Voltaire]
Best Way To Compile Inaccurate Info That No One Wants Is To Make It Up [Scott Adams]
Best Way To Destroy An Enemy Is To Make Him A Friend
Best Way To Escape From A Problem Is To Solve It
Best Way To Find Yourself Is To Lose Yourself In The Service Of Others [Mahatma Ghandi]
Best Way To Forget All Your Troubles Is To Wear Tight Shoes
Best Way To Get A Woman To Agree With You, Is To Say Nothing
Best Way To Get A Woman To Argue With You, Is To Say Something
Best Way To Get Ahead Is To Use The One You've Got
Best Way To Get Something Done Is To Begin
Best Way To Hold A Man Is In Your Arms
Best Way To Keep Ones Word Is Not To Give It [Napoleon Bonaparte]
Best Way To Keep Your Kids Out Of Hot Water Is To Put Some Dishes In It
Best Way To Lie Is To Tell The Truth, Mostly
Best Way To Predict The Future, Or To Protect it, Is To Create It
Best Way To Publicize Governmental Action Is To Appear To Hide It
Best Way To Rob A Bank Is To Own One [William K. Black, Former Bank Regulator]
Best Way To Slow A Runaway Horse Is To Bet On It
Best Way To Stop A Runaway Horse Is To Bet On It
Best Way To Succeed In Life Is To Start From Scratch & Keep Scratching
Best Ways to Lead Employees - Bad Management Practices [Sergey Novoselov]
Best Wife Is Clever Enough To Appreciate His Cleverness, & Stupid Enough To Admire It
Best Work Is Done By Those 'Passionately Engaged In What They Are Doing' [ES Raymond]
Best Worst Movie Ever Made
Bet You I Can Stop Gambling
Betcha Can't Eat Just One [Lay's Potato Chips]
Beth Goyim Messianic Congregation - Or In Modern Jargon House Of Non-Jews [Pejorative]
Better A Complete Fool Than A Half Assed Wiseman
Better A Crooked Foot Than A Crooked Mind
Better A Diamond With A Flaw Than A Pebble Without
Better A Dinner Of Herbs Where Love Is Than A Fatted Ox & Hatred With It [Proverbs 15:17]
Better A Fair Face Than A Good Heart [Mafia Proverb]
Better A Fair Face Than A Good Heart [Surgeons Guild]
Better A Good Enemy Than A Bad Friend
Better A Good Heart Than A Fair Face [Japanese Proverb]
Better A Little Good Than A Lot Of Bad
Better A Pain In The Neck, Than No Necking For The Pain
47

Better A Rich Tenant Than A Poor Landlord

Better A Snotty Child Than His Nose Be Wiped Off
Better An End With Pain, Than Pain With No End
Better Beans & Bacon In Peace Than Cakes & Ale In Fear [Aesop]
Better For Civilization To Be Going Down The Drain Than To Be Coming Up It
Better Gas Mileage, A Civic Responsibility [Honda Civic]
Better Grades, Better Grads - St. Scholastica Academy
Better Late Than Never
Better Late Than Never, Better Never Late
Better Late Than Never, Just Like My Periods [Unknown]
Better Late Than Really Late, Better Really Late Than Never
Better Living Through Denial
Better Never Marry Than Marry Unwisely
Better Safe Than Sorry
Better Strangers [Shakespeare]
Better Than A Thousand Hollow Words, Is One Word That Brings Peace [Buddha]
Better Than New
Better That The Belly Burst Than Food Be Left On The Table [Neapolitan Proverb]
Better The Best Of The Worst Than The Worst Of The Best
Better The Devil You Know Than The Devil You Don't
Better Three Hours Too Soon Than A Minute Too Late [William Shakespeare]
Better Than A Thousand Hollow Words, Is One Word That Brings Peace [Buddha]
Better Than New
Better To Be A Wanted Criminal Than Not To Be Wanted At All
Better To Be A Well-Known Drunk Than To Be An Anonymous Alcoholic
Better To Be A Wise Person In Hell Than A Fool In Paradise
Better To Be Alone Than In Bad Company [George Washington]
Better To Be Born Happy Than Pretty
Better To Be Embarrassed Than Heartbroken
Better To Be Going Down The Drain Than To Be Coming Up It
Better To Be Hated For What You Are Than Loved For What You Arent [M. Monroe]
Better To Be Looked Over Than Overlooked
Better To Be Mad & Know It, Than To Be Sane & Have One's Doubts [G. B. Burgin]
Better To Be Pissed Off Than Pissed On
Better To Be Rich & Healthy Than Poor & Sick
Better To Be Wise By The Misfortunes Of Others Than By Your Own [Aesop]
Better To Bend Than To Break [Indian Proverb]
Better To Break Off An Engagement Than A Marriage
Better To Conquer Hearts Than Citadels [Nguyen Trai, Vietnamese Poet Circa 1420]
Better To Copu-Late Than Never!
Better To Die Upright Than To Live On Your Knees
Better To Do Nothing Than To Make Something Into Nothing
Better To Err On The Side Of Daring Than The Side Of Caution [Alvin Toffler]
Better To Forget & Smile, Than To Remember & Be Sad
Better To Give Than Receive, Especially Advice
Better To Have A Permanent Income Than To Be Fascinating [Oscar Wilde]
48

Better To Have An Ugly Patch Than A Beautiful Hole

Better To Have Bad Breath Than To Have No Breath At All
Better To Have Horrible Endings Than Horrors Without End
Better To Have Loved A Short Girl, Than Never To Have Loved A Tall
Better To Have Loved & Lost Than Never To Have Lost At All [Samuel Butler]
Better To Have Loved & Lost Than Never To Have Loved At All
Better To Have Loved & Lost Then Wear A Paternity Suit
Better To Have Loved & Lost Than To Have Hated & Won
Better To Have Loved & Never Lost At All
Better To Have Loved, Than Never Loved At All
*Better To Have Dreamed, Than Never Taken The Fall
*Better To Have Held You & Let You In, Than Never To Have Touched Your Skin
*Better To Have Hurt & Screamed & Cried, Fallen To The Earth For A Trip To The Sky
*Better To Have Loved...You [Idina Menzel]
Better To Have Lusted After Love Than To Have Loved Without Love
Better To Keep Your Mouth Closed & Be Thought A Fool Than Open It & Remove All Doubt
Better To Know Some Of The Questions Than All Of The Answers [James Thurber]
Better To Light A Candle, Than To Curse The Darkness
Better To Live In Joy Than To Die In Sorrow
Better To Lose A Second In Your Life, Than Your Life In A Second
Better To Love A Short Girl Than Not A Tall
Better To Remain Silent & Be Thought A Fool That To Speak & Remove All Doubt
Better To Retire Too Soon Than Too Late
Better To Sleep With Old Hen Than Pullet
Better To Understand A Little Than To Misunderstand A Lot [Anatole France]
Better To Want A Mate You Don't Have Than Have A Mate You Don't Want
Better To Wear Out Than To Rust Out
Better Twisting Theories To Suit Facts, Than Facts To Suit Theories[Sherlock Holmes 2009]
Better Un-Taught Than Ill-Taught
Better To Understand A Little Than To Misunderstand A Lot
Bettering One Thing Is Worth More Than Proving A Thousand Things Wrong
Betters Don't Have The Vegas Idea Of How To Quit Gambling
Betty Boop-A-Doop
Between Age 14 & 21 'I Was Astonished At How Much Old Man Had Learned' [Mark Twain]
Between Foreplay & Snoring, In The Dictionary, Is Orgasm
Between Heaven & Mirth [Father Martin]
Between-Maid
Between Maids
Between Maids, A Sexy Place To Be
Between Maids, The Place Is A Mess
Betwixt & Between
Bevy Of Beauties
Bevy Of Bevvies
Bevy Of Ducking Ducks
Beware Of A Bad Woman & Put No Trust In A Good One
Beware Of A Man Of One Book
49

Beware Of & Eschew Pompous Prolixity [Beardsley's Warning To Lawyers]

Beware Of Alphabet Grenades, If You Throw Them It Could Spell Disaster
Beware Of Altruism, It Is Based On Self-Deception, The Root Of All Evil
Beware Of Computer Programmers Who Carry Screwdrivers Or Wire Cutters
Beware Of Dog Cat Is Not Trustworthy Either
Beware Of Geeks Bearing Gifts
Beware Of Geeks Bearing Grids
Beware Of Greeks Bearing Gifts
Beware Of Half-Truths, You May Have The Wrong Half
Beware Of Your Friends, More Than Your Enemies
Beware The Barrenness Of A Busy Life [Socrates]
Beware The Fury Of A Patient Man [John Dryden]
Beyond Infinity
Beyond The Pleasure Principle [Sigmund Freud]
Beyond The Pale
Biased Judge
Biased Nuetral
Biased Opinion
Bicycle Couldnt Stand On Its Own As It Was Two Tired
Bicycle Fell Over As It Was Two-Tired
Bicycle: The Devil's Unicycle [bicycletruth.info]
Bid My Blood To Run, Before I Come Undone [Evanescence - 'Bring Me To Life']
Bieber Fever: Also Beaver Fever (See), Media's Term For Justin Bieber's Affect On Pre-Teens
Bieber Fever: Linked To STD [Seducible Tiny Dolls]
Bieber Fever Makes Pre-Teen Gals 'Feverish' In A Sexy Way [Justin Bieber 1994-- ]
Bieber Fever, Media Coined Term Some Say To Insinuate He's A Pussy [Perhaps A Pursy?]
Big & Tall Outlet Fifty Percent Off
Big Apple
Big Baby
Big Bad
Big Bad Brad
Big Brother Is Always Watching You [O_O]
BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU! [1984]
Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
Big Bang
Big Bang Theory
Big Bang Theory: Big Bangers Did It!
Big Bang Theory: Bigger The Gang, The Bigger The Bang, The Bigger The Gangbang
Big Bang Theory: God Spoke & BANG, It Happened!
Big Bang Theory In Descending Order Is It Physics, Cosmogony, Cosmology Or Astronomy?
Big Bang Theory Is Cosmogony Which Studies The Origin Of The Cosmos (Universe)
Big Bang Theory Is Under Physics & Leads To Cosmology (Universe) & Astronomy (Stars)
Big Banger Edgar Allan Poe Theorized Primordial Particle Exploding By Divine Volition
Big Banger Prime In Literature Don Juan (Don Giovanni) & In Life Giacomo Casanova
Big Bangers - Explosive Cosmogonists
Big Bangers - Sexual Overactives
50

Big Banks, The Bottom Line Is They Offer Very Little Benefit [Phil Angelides]
Big Banks, Too Big To Manage & Too Big To Regulate [Phil Angelides]
Big Banks, Too Big To Prosecute Now!
Big Banks Too Complex To Understand & Too Risky To Exist [Phil Angelides]
Big Boy [Double Hamburger]
Big Boy [Large Male Child]
Big Breaths, MD Instructed - Yes, They Used To Be, Patient Vieille Dame Sighed Sadly
Big Bucks, Big Bucks, No Whammies, Stop [Press Your Luck]
Big Chief [William Howard Taft]
Big Chip
Big Country [Bush II For Federal Emergency Management Agency Director Joe Allbaugh]
Big Crunch
Big Deal [NOT]
Big Detail
Big Dick's Halfway Inn [Gravois Hills, Missouri]
Big Difference Between Sex For Money & Sex For Free Is The Latter Costs A Lot More
Big Fish Eat Little Fish
Big George [Bush II For George Miller, Democratic Congressman, California]
Big John, Big John, Big Bad John
Big Lub [William Howard Taft]
Big Minority
Big Nothing
Big Nuts Belgian Chocolate Bar
Big O [Bush II For Secretary Of The Treasury Paul O'Neill]
Big Runaway, Mass Evacuation In Summer Of 1778 Of North Central Pennsylvania Settlers
Big Sip
Big Shots Are Only Little Shots Who Keep Shooting [Christopher Morley]
Big Time [Bush II For VP Dick Cheney]
Big Town
Big Z, Little Z, What Begins With Z? Me, I'm A Zizzer Zazzer Zuzz, As You Can See [Seuss]
Bigface, Nickname Of Newly Redesigned U.S. Currency
Bigamy Is Having One Wife Too Many, Monogamy Is The Same [Oscar Wilde]
Bigamy Is One Wife Too Many, So Is Monogamy
Bigamy Lets You Avoid Painful Publicity Of Divorce & Expense Of Alimony [Oliver Herford]
Bigger Half
Bigger The Man, The Less Likely He Is To Object To Caricature
Bigger They Are, The Harder It Is To See Your Shoes
Bigger They Are, The Harder They Fall
Bigger They Are, The Harder They Hit
Biggest Piece Of Minutia [Bill O'Reily]
Biggest Room You Have Is Your Room For Improvement
Biggest Security Gap - An Open Mouth!
Biggest Shortage Of All Is The Shortage Of Common Sense
Biggest Trick Devil Ever Played Was Convincing World He Didn't Exist [Usual Suspects]
Biggie Smalls
Bill Blake - Was Hanged By Mistake [Tombstone]
51

Bill Clinton [William Jefferson Blythe III, Later Changed To William Jefferson Clinton]
Bill Of Rights
Bill Would Exempt Minors From Death [Goldsboro News Argus]
Bills Travel Through The Mail At Twice The Speed Of Checks
Bim-Bam-Bom, Only Lazy Bones Are Asleep, When All Bells Are Ringing [Panie Janie! 1938]
Bim Bam Boom, Canadian Kid's TV Featuring Three Clowns, Bim, Bam & Boom [1955-56]
Bim Bam Boom: My Heart Goes Bim Bam Boom [Roger Klug]
Bimbo Uses Sun Technology To Automate Operations [Computer Rag]
Bin Laden & Fred Flintstone Both Look Out Window & See Rubble
Bing! Scroogled By Google, One & All, So Says Microsoft
Bingeing On Moderation
Bio-Degradable Plastic
Bio-Engineered Corn, Radiated Milk, Squashoids, Things Nightmares Are Made Of
Bio Mass - Ferment It & Burn It Or Ferment It & Drink It?
Bio Mass - The History Of A New England State
Bio-Mortia
Biologists Communicate About Amoeba On Cell Phones
Biology 101, Where Straight Guys Dissect Frogs & Gay Ones Open Flies
Biology Grows On You
Biology Is Only Science Where Multiplication & Division Means The Same Thing
Bipartisan
Bipartisan Cooperation
Bipartisan Senate Action
Bipolar Disorder
Bird Dog
Bird-Footed Dinosaur
Bird In Hand
Bird In Hand Equals A Full Pot & A Happy Stomach
Bird In Hand, If A Cornish Hen, Only Enough For One
Bird In Hand Is Dead
Bird In Hand Is Safer Than One Overhead
Bird In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Bush
Bird In The Hand Is Worth What It Will Bring
Birds Of A Feather Flock Together
Birds Of A Feather Flock Together & While Theyre Flocking
Bird Of Another Feather
Bird Of Happiness Alights Only Upon The Hand That Does Not Grasp [John Berry]
Bird Of Jove
Bird Of Prey
Birdbrain
Birdbrained
Birdie Birdwell Threw Away The Baby With The Bath Water, But Kept The Stork
Birds Eye View
Birds Cannot Fly On One Wing
Births To High School Girls Fall To Record Low [CNN]
Birds Of A Feather Flock Together
52

Birds Of A Feather Frak Together While Flocking

Birds Of A Flock Feather Together [Wild Duck Kayak Club]
Birds Of Jove*
Birds Of Juno*
Birds Of Minerva*
Birds Of Night*
Birds Of Prey*
Birth Control
Birthdays Promote Longevity, The More You Have The Longer You Live
Birthday Suit
Birther
Birthers Say Obamas An Osama!
Birthing A Dawn To This Endless Night [Evanescence, 'Lies']
Bisexual Built For Two Is A 400 Pounder Who Likes Both Men & Women
Bisexuality Doubles Your Chances Of A Date On A Saturday Night [Woody Allen]
Bison Bison Bison Is The American Buffalo Subspecies Plains Bison [See Buffalo]
Bitch Arrested For Littering
Bitch Cited For Littering For Giving Birth In The Roadway To Litter Of Eight
Bitchs Dropping Puppies On Street Was Labeled Littering
Bite The Bullet
Biteer Back Backbiter
Biteer Back Backbiter, She Bit First!
Biteer Back Backbiter, Shes Not Looking!
Bitter Sweet
BizChicks
Black & Gold Finally Got One For The Thumb & The Other Thumb, But No More Yet!
Black & White
Black & White & Read All Over
Black & White In Color
Black & White In Living Color
Black Angel
Black Beauty Is A Dark Horse
Black Cat Called Jinx Jinxed The Jinks
Black Cat Is Always The Last One Off The Fence
Black Cat Is Always The Last One Off The Fence, Eight Times Out Of Nine!
Black Cat Is Always The Last One Off The Fence, That's Bad Luck!
Black-Coated Fuselighter, Exclaimed Birdwatching Bullwinkle [Boris Dynamiting Dam]
Black Comedy
Black Cows Gives White Milk
Black Face Al Jolsons Mammys Son
Black Face, Yellow Face & White Face - Racial Transvestites
Black Gold [Crude Oil]
Black Gold Arrives Under Pressure, Yellow Gold Is Panned Or Dug
Black Hens Also Lays White Eggs
Black Hole
Black Holes Are Where God Divided By Zero
53

Black Light
Black Man [Primarily Brown]
Black Man's Guide To Crazy White Women [Sean Phillips, An 'Oprah' Book]
Black Out Drunk
Black Panther
Black Pearl
Black Russian
Black, White, Red, Yellow, Straight Or Gay, Now's The Time For A Roll In The Hay
Blackfellas & Whitefellas, Were All Australians!
Blacklashes Were Primarily Backlashes which Now Backlash Politically
Blackmarket.Gov
Blackout Chess, You Turn Off The Light & I'll Make The First Move!
Blackpool Breakfast: Me, 20 Ciggies & A Pot Of Tea [Lilly Savage]
Blacks Blue Over Bluefield State Being Whitest Black College [W. Va. - Now 90% White]
Blacks Blue Over Historically Black Federal Funding Going To 90% White College?
Bladder Infection Means Urine Trouble
Bladdered & Pissed Off
Blades Not Razors Make Us Money & These Blades Last Too Long [Harlan Coben- Live Wire]
Blagojevich, Former Illinois Govenorvitch, Convicted Of Senatorial Switch Kitsch
Blagojevich Had Itch To Enrich, But There Was A Twitch, A Glitch, A Snitch, What A Bitch!
Blameless Criminal
Blameless Culprit
Bland Spice
Blank Expression
Blanket Factory I Used To Work At Folded
Blanket Lady Blanketed City With Bounty Blankets
Blasphemy Is The Strangest Of Artificial Crimes
Blasphemy Is Then Followed By Obscenity & Indecent Exposure As Strange Artificial Crimes
Blatantly False Statements Made By Rep. Michele Bachmann Says Resigning Aide Ron Carey
Blending Family
Blessed Are The Flexible For They Can Tie Themselves Into Knots
Blessed Are The Flexible For They Will Not Be Bent Out Of Shape
Blessed Are The Meek, For They Shall Inherit The Earth
Blessed Are The Pessimistic For They Hath Made Backups
Blessed Are The Young For They Shall Inherit The Earth
Blessed Are The Young For They Shall Inherit The National Debt
Blessed Are They Who Hunger & Thirst, For They Have Stuck To Their Diets
Blessed Are Those Who Can Laugh At Themselves, They Will Never Cease To Be Amused
Blessed Curse
Blessed Is He Who Expects Nothing, For He Shall Not Be Disappointed
Blind As A Bat
Blind As A Bat Is Batty, Bats Arent Blind Just Somewhat Visually Challenged. They See!
Blind Bird
Blind Carbon Copy
Blind Curve
Blind Date
54

Blind Driveway
Blind Eye
Blind Drunk
Blind Jazz Musician Feels Blue
Blind Man Carrying Lame Sighted Man Is Like Will Power Is To The Mind [A. Schopenhauer]
Blind Man Says Diana Prettiest Woman He Ever Saw [Reuters]
Blind Man Said I See As He Picked Up His Hammer & Saw
Blind People Do It By Feeling
Blind Seer
Blind Sight
Blind Spot
Blind Viewer
Blind Witness
Blinders Of The Mind Obscure The Lions To The Left & Tigers To The Right! [Barry J. Lipson]
Blinding Light
Blinding Sunrise
Blindsight
Bling Bling [B.G./Lil Wayne Lyrics 1999]
Bling Bling Bling: Diamonds Bitch Everyone Gonna Blink (Bling Bling Bling) [2Pac-1996]
Bling Bling Era Was Cute, But It's About To Be Done [Immortal Technique Rev. 2 - 2003]
Bling Bling, Jamaican Slang For Something Fancy Or That A Person Is Showing Off
Bling Bling, That Which Emerges From The Light Reflected By A Diamond
Bling Bling: Ultra Brite Gives Your Mouth {Bling-Bling} Sex Appeal![1960's]
Bling Dynasty [Modern China]
Bling, Jewelry Of The Hip Hop Culture
Bling, Linguistic Ideophone Evoking 'Sound' Of Light Hitting Diamonds Or Precious Metals
Bling, Named After The Sound Generated From Gaudy Flashy Jewelry
Bling Of Blings
Blintz, A Sweet Cheese-Filled Yiddishe Crepe
Bliss Is Blissful
Bliss Is Ignorance
Bliss Is Ignorance, Ignorance Is Bliss
Blockbuster Wine
Blog (Contraction Of Web Log) Is An Online Chronological Journal, Updated Regularly
Blogger-In-Chief Sought By Pop!Tech, A Science, Technology & Future Of Ideas Conversation
Blogosphere Is The Entirety Of All Blogs In A Blogging Community
Blonde Bombshell
Blonde Or Tree, Which One Knows When It's Being Cut Down?
Blonde Stayed Up All Night Wondering Where Sun Went, Until It Finally Dawned On Her
Blondes Have More Fun
Blondes Have More Fun, But Do They Know It?
Blondes May Have More Fun, But Brunettes Remember It The Next Day
Blood Is Thicker Than Water
Blood Is Thicker Than Water, So Is Maple Sugar
Blood, Sweat & Tears [1963 Johnny Cash Album]
Blood, Sweat & Tears, 'I Have Never Promised Anything But ' [Winston Churchill]
55

Blood, Sweat Or Tears, Which Was The 'Salty Taste On His Lips'? [Metropolis 1926]
Blood, Toil, Tears & Sweat Is All You Are Offered
Bloody Mary-Land/Crabby Mary, Make With Old Bay Crab Seasoning
Bloody Mary, Queen Of England Whose Bloody Reign Of Terror Killed Hundreds [1553-58]
Bloody Mary Slutified Or Slutty Mary Add Sausage & Stir Vigorously
Bloody Mary, Vodka Tomato Drink Honoring Queen Mary I Of England Or Waitress Mary
Bloody Mary Waitress Named Mary Worked At The Chicago Bar The Bucket Of Blood
Bloody Mary Wretched, A Virgin Mary, Bloody Shame Or Bloody Virgin [Sans Alcohol]
Bloody Mary Wretched, Also Bloody Barbara For Barbara Castle, British Transport Minister
Bloody Marys Bro Bloody Charlie A Bloody Mary With 2 Olives As Balls [Jean Shepherd]
Bloody Molly, Bloody Mary Irishized With Irish Whiskey Replacing Vodka
Bloody Murder, Bloody Mary Heatened With Gin, Black Vinegar, Wasabi Sauce & A Sword
Bloody Wonderful
Bloody Wretched
Blotto Bluto
Blow Is Forgotten, Spoken Word Lingers On
Blower Ringing, Pick Up Please
Blue Balls
Blue Balls, A Male Condition Scientifically Called Epididymal Hypertension
Blue Balls, Blood Trapped In Scrotum Becomes Deoxygenated & Blue Tinged
Blue Balls, Describes 'How Sad They Are That They Can't Come! [Cosmopolitan]
Blue Balls, Dull Aching Pain Caused By Prolonged Unsatisfied Sexual Arousal
Blue Balls, PA
Blue Bird Of Happiness
Blue Blood
Blue Bloods Are Deoxygenated
Blue Christmas
Blue Christmas A Service Of Hope
Blue Green
Blue Hair
Blue Jean Mother
Blue Laws
Blue Moon
Blue Movies
Blue Rose
Blue Sky Thinking
Blue Sky Laws
Blue Valentine
Blueberries Turn Yogurt Purple! How Come?
Blurry Vision
Blushing Crow [Crushing Blow]
BNAG - Thats BANG Out Of Order!
Board Secretary Was A Bountifully Bored, yet still bored, Broad
Boards Dont Hit Back [Bruce Lee]
Boars Aren't Boring Except When Using Tusks Or Unique Corkscrew-Shaped Members
Boatman Jim [James A. Garfield]
56

Bobby Fischer Sought A New Challenge - 'How About A Czech Mate?

Body At Rest Tends To Stay At Rest
Body At Rest Tends To Watch Television
Body Is Meant To Be Seen, Not All Covered Up [Marilyn Monroe]
Body Nazi, Extreme Fitness Advocate Impervious To Opposing Positions
Body On Vacation Tends To Remain On Vacation Unless Acted Upon By An Outside Force
Boggle The Noggin With Noggin Of Pulque
Boggles The Noggin [Tin Man]
Boiled Egg In The Morning Is Hard To Beat
Boiled Egg Is Hard To Beat
Boink? As In Hit Over The Head With A Rubber Chicken?
Boink? As In Hitting On For Head & More, A Rubbing Loving Chicken?
Boketto, Act Of Gazing Vacantly Into The Japanese Distance Without Thought
Bold Talk For A One-Eyed Fat Man [True Grit, 1969]
Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before
Boldly Go Where No One Has Gone Before
Boldly Go Where No One Has Gone Before, Except Local & Nearer By Sentients
Boldly Going Nowhere [Bumper Sticker]
Bollixed Up
Bollocksed Up
Bomb Means Something Really Bad As The Show Bombed
Bomb Means Something Really Good Like She's Really Cool, She's 'The Bomb'
Bomb Means Something Really 'Gooder', She's Excellent, The Best, She's 'Da Bomb'
Bomb Shelter
Bomb Squad Motto: If We Run, Run Faster
Bombarding A French Kitchen Leads To Linoleum Blownapart
Bombastic Theories
Bombing Of French Kitchen Resulted In Linoleum Blownapart
Bombproof Your Horse [Jack Pelicano, Found Huddled Against Stallions Soft Underbelly?]
Bombshell, A Payload-Carrying Projectile Usually Containing An Explosive
Bombshell, A Shockingly Unexpected Happening Or Revelation Such As A Surprise Attack
Bombshell, An Entertainer With A Sensational Effect Such As A Blonde Bombshell
Bombshell Bra, Touted As Increasing Your Bust Size By Two
BonBon-Land, Danish Candy Theme Park & Hundeprutterutchebane Dog Fart Rollercoaster
Bond Buying Binge
Bond, James Bond [Dr. No, 1962]
Bone An Angry Chicken & It Becomes An Ingrate Invertebrate
Bone China
Boneless Chicken
Boneless Ribs
Boneless Handshake
Bonkers, Bonks You Out!!
Bonsai, Stunt Of Planting Bonnie Bon Ton Tree Seedlings In Small Trays To Stunt Them
Boob Bumps On Areola Are Montgomery Glands Facilitating Breast Feeding
Boob Job
Book Burning
57

Book Club, I Thought, Was Lord OF The Flies With Wine & Dip
Book Is Like A Garden Carried In The Pocket
Book Is Mirror Look Out! If Ass Peers In Is Unlikely Apostle Will Appear Out!
Book On Anti-Gravity Can't Be Put Down
Book On Voyeurism Is A Peeping Tome
Book Up There Found Down Under
Book Up There On High Shelf Published Down Under
Book Up There Published Down Under, About Getting Up There On Top Of Mount Everest
Bookkeepers Do It With Blind Precision, CPA's Improvise!
Books Are Not Lost By Loaning Except Those You Particularly Wanted To Keep
Books Are Not Men & Yet They Stay Alive
Books On Suicide Never Returned [Headline]
Books On Tape
Books With Shorth Have Such Power & Strength, Shorth Being Better Than Length [Dr. Seuss]
Books Won't Stay Banned, Ideas Won't Go To Jail [Alfred Whitney Griswold]
Boomerang Champion Is Trying For A Comeback
Booming Prairie Chicken Is Horny Male Performing His Mating Ritual Called Booming
Booming Prairie Chicken Monument Celebrates Their Moving Ahead Of Minnesota Settlers
Boop Boop Be Doop [Betty Boop]
Boot Strap
Bootiful [Li'l Abner]
Bootiful Bootleggings
Bootleg
Bootlegged Tapes
Bootlegged Whiskey
Bootleggers
Bootlegging
Bootlickers
Booty Buddies [Las Vegas]
Booty: Butt, Ass, Specific'lly Spectacular Female Posteriors
Booty Call
Booty Call, A Late Night Cry For Immediate Casual Sex
Booty Call, Ma Bell's Facilitation Of Incidental Accidental Procreation
Booty From Middle English 'Botye' [Advantage] Via Middle Lower German 'Bute' [Exchange]
Booty Is A Third Of The Whole Package Of One Fine Booty, A Great Body! & Huge Racks!
Booty Is A Third Of What Rappers See, The Other 2/3rds Breasts!
Booty: Pirate Treasure, Swag, Loot, Plunder & Other Ill-Gotten Gains
Booty Saith Captain Yellowbeard: Split The Booty, Mates!
Booty Saith Ike Turner: Shake Dat Booty, Woman! I Said Shake It! SLAP!!!
Booty Saith Sir Horny: What I Wouldn't Give For Some Of Her Booty!
Booty Shoes Cost Reebok & Skechers $65 Million To Settle FTC No Great Booty Charges
Booty Shoes With Rounded Bottoms Won't 'Get You Kim Kardashian's Booty' As Ads Claimed
Bootys For New Babys Or Baby Bootys, 'Soft Beige With Fur' [Ebay-Australia]
Boozed Boozer
Bop [Poop]
Border Control
58

Border Security [Oliver North]

Border Sign Facing Mexico: We're Full, Go Home!
Bore Tells You About His Life, Bon Vivant Shares His Life With You
Bore Is A Fellow Who Opens His Mouth & Puts His Feats In It [Henry Ford]
Bored Boris Bored Borbla Who Bore Baby
Boredom Is The Midwife Of Creativity [Talia Shire]
Boredoms Cure Is Curiosity, There Is No Cure For Curiosity [Dorothy Parker]
Boring Board Meeting
Boring Board Room
Boring Boredom
Boring Court Jester
Boring Entertainment
Born Again
Born Dead
Born Free
Born Free, Ran Free, Taxed To Death!
Born With A Silver Spoon
Born With A Silver Spoon In Your Mouth
Born With Extra Large Stomach?
Borrow Causes Sorrow [Borgen Macht Zorgen]
Borrow Money From A Pessimist, He Doesn't Expect It Back
Borrowable Items That Can Be Broken, Will Be Borrowed & Broken
Bosom Buddy
Boss Is Early When You're Late & Late When You're Early
Boss Never Notices What Has Been Done, Only What Remains To Be Done
Boss Thief [Rutherford B. Hayes]
Boston Home Of Bean & Cod, Where Lowells Talk Only To Cabots & Cabots Talk Only To God
Boston Home Of Cabots & Lowells Where Gassy Bean Eating Cod Is Their Lowelly God
Boston Tea Party
Botched Up
Bottle Gives Birth To The Cup
Bottle Of Wine Contains More Philosophy Than All The Books In The World [Louis Pasteur]
Bottom Line Is The Bottom Line
Bottoms Up
Bought The Farm
Bought You Some Chicken But Had To Throw It Out When I Learned It Was Fowl
Boulder Dam Brewing Co. Brews A Bolder Damn Beer
Bounders Unbound Boundless Bounding, You Dirty Bounder You!
Bounty Bar [Coconut Within Chocolate]: White On The Inside & Brown On The Outside
Bowls A Golfing Score & Golfs A Bowling Score
Box Said Requires Windows XP, Or Better, So I Bought An Apple
Boxed In? Briefly Stated, Change To Boxer Shorts!
Boxed In? Instead Of Thinking Outside The Box, Get Rid Of The Box
Boxed In? Instead Of Thinking Outside The Box, Step Out
Boxed In? Instead Of Thinking Outside The Box, Step Out, But Store For Future Reference
Boxed In? Step Out, But Store For Future Reference
59

Boxed In? Think Outside The Box

Boxed In? Think Outside The Box, But Don't Forget To Still Think Inside The Box
Boxer Briefs
Boxer Shorts
Boxed Up For Future Reference
Boxed Up? Take A Laxative!
Boxed Up? Unbox & Use!
Boxing Bout Rounds Are Fought In Square Rings, Hopefully By Square Shooters
Boxing Ring
Boy Bands With Instruments
Boy Genius [Bush II For Senior Advisor Karl Rove]
Boy Is Father To The Man
Boy Who Cries Werewolf [1973]
Boy Who Cries Wolf
Boy Who Goes To Bed Horny Finds Solution In Hand
Boy Wont My Ma Be Surprised, When She Sees My Belly Rise
Boycott Shampoo! Demand The REAL Poo!
Boyfriend
Boyish Grandpa
Boys Get Mad Quicker, But Girls Stay Mad Longer
Boys Leave Junior High, But Junior High Never Leaves Any Boys
Boys Will Be Boys
Boys Will Be Boys, & So Will A Lot Of Middle-Aged Men [Kin Hubbard]
Boys Will Be Boysterous'
Boyz Are Great, Every Girl Should Have One
Bozos & Bozettes
BP = Beyond Petroleum
BP Solar
Bra Being Singular Covers One Point Of Interest, Panties Being Plural Two, Correct?
Braggadociovich Applied The Shock Prod Rod To Obamas Seat, But Came Up Short Circuited
Braille Is The Most Enjoyable Form Of Sex Education
Braille Signs Required On Drive-Through ATM Machines Really?
Brain: An Apparatus With Which We Think That We Think" [Ambrose Bierce]
Brain Cells Come & Brain Cells Go, But Fat Cells Live Forever
Brain Cramp
Brain Cramp - Mental Constriction, Confusion, Spacing Out; To Wit-Less, A Senior Moment!
Brain Fart
Brain Fart, Sudden & Involuntary Release Of Ignorant & Cognitively Inadequate Idea
Brain Fried - Core Dumped
Brain Function Registered Dysfunction
Brain Is As Strong As Its Weakest Think
Brain Is The Apparatus With Which We Think That We Think [The Devil's Dictionary]
Brain Removal Study Finds Few Volunteers [Kenosha News]
Brain Washed
Brain Washed, No Starch
Brains Are An Asset To The Woman Smart Enough To Hide 'Em.
60

Brainstorming
Brake Fluid Addicts Believe They Can Stop At Any Time
Brakes Applied To Breaking The Law To Enforce The Law By NYC Mayor Bill DeBlasio
Brand-New Antiques
Bras Help End Female Slavery [CNN]
Bras Help End Female Slavery, Yet Then Them Puppies Can No Longer Swing Free!
Brass Balls
Brass Knuckles
Brass Ring Missed At Miami Convention
Brassbound Brass of Brass Hats Brassed Off at The Brassy Brass Section Of The Brass Band
Brassbound Traditions
Brave Politician
Brave Wimp
Bravery Is Being The Only One Who Knows Youre Afraid
Breaches Found In Sex Abuse Enforcement! MPs Vow Not To Stop Until Last Hole Filled!
Bread Always Falls Buttered Side Down
Break A Habit, Drop It!
Break-A-Leg [Have Good Luck]
Break Time
Breakfast At Any Time! How About French Toast During The Renaissance?
Breakfast Of Champions [Wheaties Cereal]
Breakin The Ton
Breakthrough By Rescue Team When They Broke Through The Mine Shaft Wall
Breakthrough In Word Processing Led To The Demise Of The Quill & Then The Typewriter
Breakthrough Into The Sacred Psychedelic Realm With DMT
Breakthrough News Report Reported On Medical Breakthrough
Breakthrough On D-Day At Normandy Beach Quickened End Of WW II
Breakthrough, The Underling Heard Her Overlord Yelp, As He Making Of Her A Woman
Brevity Is The Soul Of Lingerie [Dorothy Parker]
Brevity Is The Soul Of Wit
Brezel-Precel-Pretzel, German-Polish Soft Pretzels
Brick By Brick He Built His Future Around Him [Dan Chaon]
Brick By Brick He Built With 'No Doors Or Windows... Sealed In A Coffin [Dan Chaon]
Brick By Brick I Wanna Build You Up; Brick By Brick I Wanna Break You Down [KjGydell]
Brick By Brick I'm Gonna Reconstruct; Brick By Brick I Wanna Feel Your Love [KjGydell]
Brick By Brick, King By King Private Companies Keep Their Long-Term Point Of View
Brick By Brick, King By King Public Companies Keep Their Long-Term Blinders On!
Brick By Brick My Citizens, Brick By Brick Rome Is Built [Emperor Hadrian 117-138AD]
Brick Parachute
Brick Shithouse, See Built Like As Contemplating Your Navel In Your Clapboard Outhouse
Bricked-Up Windows
Bride Got A New Name & A Dress
Bride Groom
Bride Rides Bridle Path
Bridegroom
Bridge Ahead - Pay Troll
61

Bridge Hands Are All Equally Likely, But Some Are More Equally Likely Than Others
Bridge Inspectors In Western Pennsylvania Need Know Only One Word --- 'Failed!'
Bridge Is Like Sex, If You Dont Have A Good Partner Youd Better Have A Good Hand
Bridge Jumpers In Paris Are In Seine
Bridge Scam: If You Believe That, Do I Have A Bridge To Sell You - The Brooklyn Bridge!
Bridge Scam: Imperialistically Manhattan Claimed Ownership To Brooklyns Brooklyn Bridge
Bridge Scam: Just Think If Brooklyn Had Claimed It Owned Manhattans Manhattan Bridge?
Bridge Scam: Lifetime Bridge Sold To Me By My Dentist That Failed In Less Than A Decade
Bridge Scam: London Bridge Is Broken Down, Falling Down, My Fair Lady Lea, But
Bridge Scam: London Bridge Sold 1n 1968 & Moved Brick By Brick To Lake Havasu, Arizona
Bridges Burned
Bridges You Cross Before You Come To Them Are Over Rivers That Aren't There
Brief After-Dinner Speech
Brief Brief
Brief Briefs
Brief Journey
Brief Legal Description
Brief Longing
Brief Political Speech
Brief Speech
Brief Survey
Brief Wait
Briefer The Brief, It's My Belief, Greater The Sigh Of The Reader's Relief [Dr. Seuss]
Briefing
Briefs
Bright Night
Bright Rain
Bright Shade
Brightens Your Day, Brighton Hot Dog Shoppe, New Brighton, PA
Brightest Future Requires You To Let Go Of Your Past Failures & Heartaches
Brightest Thunder-Bolt Is Elicited From The Darkest Storm [Charles Caleb Colton]
Brilliant Failure [Oscar Wilde]
Brilliant Kos Post
Brilliant, Sauv, Witty - But Enough About Me! How Are You?
Brilliant Stupidity
Brilliantly Dull
Bring Away
Bring Me An Order Of Escargots, But Hold The Slugs [Orson Bean]
Bring The Dog, I Love Animals. Im A Great Cook [Fatal Attraction, 1987]
Bring Them On [George W. Bush]
Bring'EmYoung.com, A Utah First, Second, Third & Fourth Coming Site
Bringin Home The Bacon
Bringing On Moderation
Bristol Fashion
Bristol Fashion & Ship-Shape
Bristol Haute Couture Fashion Designers Bristle Briskly, Proceeding In Bristol Fashion
62

Britain Inches Grudgingly Toward Metric System [Reuters]

British Burglar Who Molested Politicians Statues Charged With 'Statue Tory Rape
British Cuisine
British Fashion
British Gourmet Food
British Humour
British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands [Headline - Pancakes Or Vague Talks?]
British Library Embarassed By Mispelling Its Heritage [Headline]
British Union Finds Dwarfs In Short Supply [Headline]
Brits Necked Down Their Tall Neck Beers, Chanting Long Live Longnecks
Broad Minded [Open Minded]
Broad Minded [Thinks Of Girls]
Broad Minded Broad Broad Blew His Mind
Broad-Mindedness, Result Of Flattening High-Mindedness Out
Broad Tip
Broadway CLOSED [Indiana Route 53]
Broccoli Journalism
Broke Is A Temporary Condition, Poor Is A State Of Mind [Robert Klyosaki]
Broke Is Transitory, Poor Is Forever
Broken Bond
Broken Pencils Are Pointless
Broker [Supposed To Nicely Fix Us Up Financially, But Often Breaks Us]
Bromance [Complicated Love & Affection Shared By Two Straight Males]
Broody Hen
Brooklyn Beat Pittsburgh Pirates For 1900 World Championship Chronicle-Telegraph Cup
Brooklyn Beat Pittsburgh Pirates In 1900 As the National League Brooklyn Superbas
Brooklyn Dodgers Beat New York Yankees Finally In 1955 World Series
Brooklyn Dodgers Dodged Brooklyn Then In 1957 For Los Angeles, Bankrupting Its Ch'i
Brooklyn Dodgers Fans Angst Alleviated Finally By 2011 LA Dodgers Admitting Bankruptcy
Broomstick Brigade
Brother's Brother Foundation [Pittsburgh, PA]
Brought Water To The Desert - Passed It!
Brought Water To The Desert, Created Land Of Milk & Honey
Brought Water To The Desert, Mixed It With Instant Tiramisu Mix For Desert Dessert
Brought Water To The Dessert, Mixed It With Instant Tiramisu Mix For Dessert In Desert
Brouhaha
Brown Eyes Blue - Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue [Crystal Gayle]
Brownie [Bush II For Federal Emergency Management Agency Director Michael D. Brown]
Brown's Law Of Physical Appearance: If The Clothes Fit, They're Ugly
Brussels Is A Metonym For EU, Which Is A Metonym For European Union
Bubba [Bill Clinton]
Bubble, Bubble, Toil & Trouble [Home Improvement 1991]
Bubble, Bubble, Toil & Trouble. Leave This Island On The Double [Duck Tales]
Bubbles For Spirit Levels
Buck, Dearly Horny Antlered Male Deer
Buck: Bean, Bone, Cha-Chinger, Greenback, Single, Smacker Or $1.00 Bill
63

Buck: Single $1.00 Note Thats A Legitimate, But Too Small To Note, Dead President
Buck Stops Here! [Harry S Truman]
Buck Stops There
Bucket List, Things To Do Before You Kick It!
Bucket List, Things To Do While You Can
Buckle Up, It Makes It Harder For The Aliens To Snatch You From Your Car
Bucks May Buck, But Won't Pass The Buck In Doing Their Buckly Duties
Bucks Pass The Buck, If Straight, But Won't Pass The Doe Without Doing Her Till Done
Bud [Budweiser]
Bud [Butt Ugly Douchlord]
Bud [Clitoris]
Bud [Close Friend, Bud, Pal]
Bud [Douche Bag, But In A Hilarious Way]
Bud [From Whence Cometh The Flower]
Bud [Marijuana]
Bud [Super Hot Guy]
Bud Flowers [London Florist]
Buddhist Rejected Novocain For Root-Canal, Seeking Transcend Dental Medication
Buddhist Said To Hot Dog Vendor Make Mine One With Everything; & Change, Please
Buddhist Told By Hot Dog Vendor Change Comes From Within
Buddy System Is Essential To Survival, It Gives The Enemy Another Target
Budget Busters
Budget Deficit
Budget Resolution
Budget Was Unlimited, But I Exceeded It Nonetheless [Donald Trump]
Budha [Marijuana]
Bud's Flowers Inc [Chicago, Illinois]
Buffalo a/k/a American Bison Is Scientifically Bison Bison
Buffalo a/k/a American Bison Subspecies Plains Bison Is Bison Bison Bison
Buffalo Bill's Wild West & Congress Of Rough Riders Of The World
Buffalo Chips
Buffalo In Truth Are Only The Asian Water Buffalo & The African/Cape Buffalo
Buffalo Is French Trapper Word Buf [Ox - US 1635]; Bison Latin Bisn [Ox - US 1774]
Buffalo Of Europe: European Bison, Aurochs, Wisent Or Scientifically Bison Bonasus
Buffalo Wings
Buffalo Wings From Buffalo, New York
Buffalo: Wis- In Wisent Also Refers To Animal's Musk - Thus Musk-Ox?
Buffalo, Wisent Them Come To America To Be American Bison?
Buffalo Y Chromosome Analysis Associated Wisent & American Bison
Buffalos Buffalo Wings Buffaloed All At Buffalo Bills' 4 Super Bowl appearances [1990-93]
Buffalos Buffalo Wings Set On Fire At Buffalo Bills' 4 Super Bowl appearances [1990-93]
Buffy Is Naturally Buff, Great In The Buff & Eye Candy Buff [Vampire Slayer]
Bug Eyed [Referring To A Human}
Bug Fix
Bug-Free Code
Bug-Free Software
64

Bug Spray Killed The Ticks In His Watch

Buggy Whip Syndrome
Buggy Whip Syndrome Succumb To By Kodak & Xerox
Buggy Whipped By Digital Camera Of Which It Had Invented First One [Kodak - Film]
Buggy Whipped By PC Of Which It Had Invented First Viable Version [Xerox - Copier]
Bugs Bunny: Abandon Your Present Bugger & Jump On The Next Bug, Or Better Yet Bunny
Buick Doesn't Rhyme With Quick, Why Not?
Build A Man A Fire & He's Warm For Now, Set Him On Fire & He'll Be Warm Until The End
Build Down
Build Down To Bedrock
Build So That Even A Fool Can Use & Only A Fool Will Want To Use It
Build System Even A Fool Can Operate & Only A Fool Will Operate It
Build Your House Brick By Boring Brick Or The Wolves Gonna Blow It Down [Paramore]
Build Your House Brick By Brick, Build Your Love Kiss By Kiss
Building Bulldozer
Building Demolition
Building Was Pretty Ugly & A Little Big For Its Surroundings [Steinbeck]
Building Wrecking
Buildings Burn Up, As They Burn Down - Amazing!
Buildings Have Integrity Just Like Men & Just As Seldom [Ayn Rand]
Built In Zero Landfill Plant
Built Like A Brick Shithouse: An Overdone, Overbuilt, Overly Constructed Outhouse
Built Like A Brick Shithouse: Curvaceous, Voluptuous Gal Whose Rack Stands Up & Juts Out
Built Like A Brick Shithouse: Muscle Guy, With Extreme Overly Developed Musculature
Built Like A Brick Shithouse: Zoftig, Rotund, Obese, Corpulent Big-Framed Female
Built On Zero Landfill Plant Site
Bull Frog
Bull Johnson [Lyndon Johnson In Public]
Bull Riding
Bull Run , Where Did Run The Union From General Beauregards Guards [July 21, 1861]
Bull Shark
Bull Shit
Bulldog
Bulldog Drumming
Bulldog Drummond
Bulldog Mated With Shitsu Produces 'Bullshit'
Bullet Resistant Glass, Not Bullet Proof, As The Right Bullet Pierces Any Glass [Burn Notice]
Bullshit Johnson [Lyndon Johnson In Private]
Bun In The Oven
Bun In The Oven, Pies Are Cooling
Bun In The Oven, She Pregged Out
Bunch Of Malarkey
Bundling
Bunghole Liquors [Peabody, Massachusetts]
Bungled Bundling Leads to Bun In Oven
Bungled Job
65

Bunny Sitting On Her Buns, Eating Buns, With Buns In The Oven
Bunsen Burner, The Laboratory's Official Coffee Brewer
Bupkis /Bubkes, Its Drek! [Yiddish-Worthless, From Polish Bobki-Animal Droppings]
Bureaucracies & Septic Tanks Are Alike, The Really Big Chunks Rise To The Top
Bureaucracies' Inefficiency Is All That Saves Us From Bureaucracies
Bureaucracy Can Be Beat If You Can Make Your Problem Their Problem
Bureaucracy Defends Status Quo Long After The Quo Has Lost Its Status [Laurence J. Peter]
Bureaucracy Sufficiently Advanced Is Indistinguishable From Molasses
Bureaucracy That Is Efficient Is The Greatest Threat To Liberty [Eugene McCarthy]
Bureaucracy Will Multiply Itself Much Faster In Time Of Grave National Concern
Bureaucrat Perfecto Makes No Decisions & Escape All Responsibility [Brooks Atkinson]
Bureaucratic Efficiencies
Bureaucratic Efficiency
Bureaucrat's Castle Is His Desk & Parking Place, Be Cautious If Challenging Either
Burgatory: Helluva Burger + Heavenly Shakes
Burger King Queen By Queers
Burger King Were Not, You Dont Get It Your Way!
Burglars Are Looking For Windows Of Opportunity
Burgundy Local Without Breeding, You'll Be Amused By Its Presumption [James Thurber]
Burial Benefits
Buried Alive
Burlesque PG13
BurmaShave: A Peach-Looks Good-With Lots Of Fuzz-But Man's No Peach-And Never Wuz
BurmaShave: I Proposed-To Ida-Ida Refused-Ida Won My Ida-If Ida Used-BurmaShave
BurmaShave: You've Laughed-At Our Signs-For Many A Mile-Be A Sport-Give Us A Trial
BurmaShave: Hardly A Driver-Is Now Alive-Who Passed-On Hills-At 75
BurmaShave: In This Vale Of Toil & Sin Your Head Grows Bald But Not Your Chin
BurmaShave: Past-Schoolhouses-Take It Slow-Let The Little-Shavers Grow
BurmaShave: Within This Vale-Of Toil-And Sin-Your Head Grows Bald-But Not Your Chin
BurmaShave: Train Approaching-Whistle Squealing-Stop-Avoid That Run-Down Feeling
Burma Shaved 5 Years At Hard Labor Off Lu Zaws Life For Braking Joke Telling Law
Burn & Pillage Update: Always Pillage BEFORE You Burn
Burn Brightly Without Burning Out [Richard Biggs]
Burning Cold
Burning Ears
Burning Ice
Burning Issues Are Prone To Generating Far More Heat Than Light
Burp In Every Beer, Here In Burpsburgh!
Burp Is A Mild Belch, Belch Is A Wild Burp
Burp Repeats: Belch, Belly Burp, Babble, Bubble, Burble, Guggle, Gurgle, Ripple
Burp Repeats: Mouth Fart, Eruct, Eructation, Eruption, Extravasate, Extravasation
Burp Repeats: Spews, Spew Outs, Belly Belches, Stomach Gurgles, Tummy Tremors
Burps Are Stomach Gases & Swallowed Air; Farts Intestinal & Bacterial Gases With Less Air
Bury The Hatchet [Make Peace]
Bury The Hatchet [Make The Kill]
Bus Is Twice As Fast When You're Chasing It Than When You're In It
66

Bus Station
Bus Stops At Bus Station, Train Stops At Train Station. What Stops At Work Station?
Bush 41 [George H. W. Bush]
Bush 43 [George W. Bush]
Bush 69 [200109]
Bush II [George W. Bush]
Bush Jr [George W. Bush]
Bush Favors His Own Program [Newsweek]
Bush Reads While Towers Fall
Bush...We've Got Bush! [Revenge Of The Nerds]
Bushie [Laura Bush]
Bushies [Laura Bush & Family]
Busiest People Are Never Too Busy To Boast How Busy They Are
Business As Usual
Business Before Pleasure
Business Breakfast
Business Casual
Business Dinner
Business Ethics
Business Holiday
Business Incubator
Business Lunch
Business Party
Business That Makes Nothing But Money Is A Poor Business [Henry Ford]
Busmens Holiday
Bushu-Suru ['To Do The [HW] Bush Thing' - Upchuck At State Dinner]
Busy Doing Nothing
But As For Pennsylvan-I-A [Eye, Ay], I'd See Him First In Hell ...
But At My Back I Always Hear, Time's Winged Chariot Hurrying Near [Andrew Marvell]
But One Must Go Where One's Road Leads, Even When It's A Distressing Road [Piers Anthony]
But What Is Micro Chip Good For? [IBM Engineer 1968]
But Who Can I Turn To If You Turn Away? [Frank Sinatra]
Butch Butch The Butcher Butchered Barbaric Barbarians
Butcher Who Backed Up Into Meat Grinder Got Behind In His Work
Butcher's Window Sign: 'Let Me Meat Your Needs'
Butcherbirds*
Butler With No Teeth Is An In-Dentured Servant
Butt Cleavage
Butt Drilling [Blenheim, New Zealand Well Drillers]
Butt Head
Butt Heads
Butt Hurt, To Be Emotionally Hurt As The Butt Of A Smart-Assed Comment
Butt Solicitors - Criminal Defence Specialists [Luton, England]
Butter Versus Margarine? Well, I Trust Cows More Than Chemists [Joan Gussow]
Butterflies Stand On Food To Taste It & Then Suck It Up With Straw-Like Proboscis
Buttermilk Is Whats Left Once The Butters Gone
67

Buttermilk With Butter Flakes [Not Buttermilk]

Buttermilk With One-Percent Fat [Not Buttermilk]
Butterworths Corporate Manslaughter Service - Need More Be Said? [Gerard Forlin]
Butthead
Buy Land, They Ain't Making Any More Of The Stuff [Will Rogers]
Buy Old Masters, They Fetch A Better Price Than Old Mistresses [Lord Beaverbrook]
Buy One Sock, Get One FREE! While They Last!
Buyer Buys The Cellar Not The Salt
Buyer Buys The Seller Not The Salt
Buzkashi, The Buzz Is That Afgans Puckishly Play It With A Dead Goats Head Puck
Buzz Kill
Buzzard On A Buzzsaw [Dukes Of Hazzard]
Buzzed Driving Is Drunk Driving
Buzzed The Buzzed Pilot Who Buzzed The Barn
Buzzword, The Fly In The Ointment Of Computer Literacy
By Adornment, One Acknowledges His Ugliness [Kahlil Gibran]
By Definition, One Divided By Zero Is Undefined
By Doing Just A Little Every Day, I Can Gradually Let The Task Overwhelm Me
By Fair Means Or Foul
By Hook Or By Crook
By Learning To Obey, You Will Know How To Command [Italian Proverb]
By Seeking & Blundering We Learn [Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe]
By The Time A Man Knows To Watch His Step, He's Too Old To Step Out
By The Time A Man Realizes His Dad Was Right, He Has A Son Who Thinks He's Wrong!
By The Time A Man Realizes His Dad Was Right, His Son Has Turned Left
By The Time You Can Make Ends Meet, They Move The Ends
By The Time You Learn The Rules Of Life, You're Too Old To Play The Game
By The Yard Life Is Hard, By The Inch It's A Cinch
Bye & Bye Let Bygones Be Bygones
Byte Off Not More Than You Can View
Bytes Get Lonely For A Little Bit

C
C - 299,792,458 Meters Per Second, Or Ten 10s
C - Nose Candy, Blow, Snow, Coke Or Cocaine
C:\ - Is The Root Of All Directories, Evil Or Not!
C-Change No, Sea Change Yes
C-Level Are Senior ['Cenior'] executives including CEO, COO, CFO, CIO & Other 'Chiefs'
C-Level Managers, Theyre Not Under Water, But Arent Climbing Mountains Either
C-Note: Century Note, Yard, $100 Bill Or Benjamin; But A Dead President As Franklin Isn't ?
C-Section
Cabbage Is Familiar Vegetable About As Large & Wise As A Man's Head [Ambrose Bierce]
Cable Service
Caesarean Section Is A Section Of The Roman Empire Ceased By Caesar
Caesar's Wife Must Be Above Suspicion
Cafeteria Food
68

Caffeine, A Symptom Of Sleep Deprivation

Caffeine, I Don't Have A Problem With It, But Without It!
Caged Dog Barks At Fleas, Frolicking Dog Notices Them Not
Cain, McCain & Cain Again, An Able Republican Lineage? [Ables Brother, John & Herman]
Cain Of Godfather Fame Raised Cain , Children Melanie & Vincent Cain
Cain Of Godfather Fame Raised Cain In The Republican Primary Ranks
Cain's 999 Plan Inverts To 666, So 'I Think The Devil's In The Details' [Michele Bachmann]
Calamities Are Either Misfortunes To Ourselves Or Good Fortune To Others [Ambrose Bierce]
Calculated Error
Calculated Guess
Calculated Mistake
Calculated Risk [Thornton Wilder]
Calculated Spontaneity
Calendar Stealing Thief Got Twelve Months
Calendar's Days Are Numbered
California Champagne
California Culture
California Expressway
California Freeway
California Smog Test: Can UCLA?
California Style
Californication
Call 911 & 555-PIZZA & Which Arrives First? Hint: First Responders Eat Cold Pizza!
Call Horse's Tail A Leg & The Horse Still Has Only 4 Legs To Stand On, Tall Tail Or Short!
Called My Cow 'No Milk Now' [When I First Came To This Land]
Called My Donkey 'Horse Gone Wonky' [When I First Came To This Land]
Called My Duck 'Out Of Luck' [When I First Came To This Land]
Called My 'Farm Muscle In My Arm' [When I First Came To This Land]
Called My 'Shack Break My Back' [When I First Came To This Land]
Called My Son 'My Work Done' [When I First Came To This Land]
Called My Wife 'Run For Your Life' [When I First Came To This Land]
Called My Wife Trouble & Strife [The Cockney/English Dictionary]
Calling One Average Is Just Being Mean
Calm Before The Storm
Calm Breeze
Calm Sea Does Not Make Skilled Sailor [African Proverb]
Calm Storm
Calm Winds
Calories, Tiny Closet Nesting Tailorbirds Nightly Stitching Clothes Just A Little Bit Tighter
Calvin Coolidge [John Calvin Coolidge, Jr.]
Came For Leave
Came Home With Smooth Round Stone As Small As A World & As Large As Alone [E.E.C.]
Camel Jockey, A Racer Of Camels Or A Person Of A Middle Eastern Race
Camel, One Hump [Dromedary] Or Two [Bactrian]?
Camel, One Hump Dromedary Plus Two Hump Bactrian Equals One Hump Hybrid
Camel, Ship Of The Desert, Embarks At Eventide
69

Camel, Two Humper, A Bactrian, Brags 'Two Humps Are Better Than One'
Camel Salome Of The Seven Tails Sweetly Invites, One Hump Or Two?
Camel Sugar Of The Serengeti Sweetly Inquired, One Lump Or Two?
Camel Toe
Camel With No Humps Was Called A Llama
Camel With No Humps Was Called 'Humphrey' Until He Mated
Camelot It's Not, But 'It's Not Cleveland Either' [Boston Mayor Kevin White]
Camels Ad: 'Have No Unpleasant Cigaretty After-Taste' [1915]
Camels Ad: 'I'd Walk A Mile For A Camel' [1920-21]
Camels Ad: Jane Fonda Asks 'Would I Walk A Mile For A Camel? - Not In These Heels!'
Camels Ad - Joe Camel: 1941-45 Precursor 'Old Joe' A Circus Camel, Distributed Free Camels
Camels Ad - Joe Camel: 1987 Born In Latter Part Of Year As The Mascot For Camels
Camels Ad - Joe Camel: 1991 Found By AMA To Be Too Successful In Reaching Kids
Camels Ad - Joe Camel: 1997 Euthanized In Conjunction With $10 Million Lawsuit Payment
Camels Add To Atmospheric Pollution
Camouflage Trousers Are Hard To Find
Campaign Promise
Camper's A Rockin', Ballast's Gone A Shoppin' [IronHerder]
Campers Are Nature's All Natural Mosquito Munchies
Camping Resort
Campus Free-Speech
Can A Nation Be Free If It Oppresses Other Nations? It Cannot [Vladimir Lenin]
Can Any Executive Be Worth More Than X Dollars Per Year? [You Pick X]
Can Any Executives Work Product Be Bought For Less Than X Dollars Per Year? If So, NO!
Can Be A Winner Today Just By Picking A Fight With A Four-Year-Old
Can Complain Because Roses Have Thorns, Or Rejoice Because Thorns Have Roses
Can Do More With A Kind Word & A Gun Than With Just A Kind Word
Can God Create A Bigger Rock Than He Can Roll? Think About It! [Bones]
Can God Make A Pork Roll Sandwich So Big He Cant Eat It? Keep Thinking!
Can God Set The Pork Roll On The Rock & Rock N Roll? Hint Its Not Kosher!
Can I Ask You A Question?
Can I Trade This Job For What's Behind Door Number One ?
Can Observe A Lot Just By Watching
Can Only Be Young Once, But You Can Be Immature Forever
Can Only Live Once, But If You Do It Right, Once Is Enough [Mae West]
Can Tell The Quality Of A Person By How They Treat People They Don't Need
Can The Narrow-Minded See Through A Keyhole With Both Eyes?
Can Tune A Piano, But You Cant Tuna Fish
Can Vegetarians Eat Animal Crackers? [George Carlin]
Can You Imagine What I Would Do If I Could Do All I Can? [Sun Tzu]
Can You Tell Me What You Call Someone From Corsica? Cors-I-Can!
Can You Tell Stork From Butter? [Stork Margarine]
Canadian Bacon Not Known As Such In Canada
Cancel My Subscription, Im Over Your Issues
Cancer Cures Smoking
Candidate Gets Money From Rich & Votes From Poor To Protect Them From Each Other
70

Candy Is Dandy But Liquor Is Quicker [Ogden Nash]

Canned Air
Canned Dehydrated Water, Just Add Water
Canned Fresh
Cannibal Ate Missionary For A Taste Of Religion
Cannibal: Someone Who Is Fed Up With People
Cannibal Spat Out Clown - Tasted Funny!
Cannibal Who Ate Missionary For A Taste Of Religion Purged
Cannibals Cookbook Written By A Gourmand Who Had A Wife & Ate Kids
Cannibals Favorite Game Is 'Swallow The Leader'
Cannibals Live To See Others In A Stew Stewing
Cannon Fodder
Cant Achieve The Impossible Without Attempting The Absurd
Can't Be Late Until You Show Up
Can't Believe That Out Of 100,000 Sperm, YOU Were The Quickest One
Can't Cross A Large Chasm In Two Small Jumps
Can't Cut The Mustard, But I Can Still Lick The Jar Lid
Can't Get A Piece Of Mind If You Don't Have Peace Of Mind [Rob Banks Film]
Cant Get Up!
Can't Go Wrong With Me, But You're Welcome To Try
Can't Plow A Field By Turning It Over In Your Mind
Can't Put Down The Book Im Reading, Its All About Anti-Gravity...
Can't Remember Having A More Memorable Time
Can't Stand Sitting
Can't Win If Don't Play
Cape Of Good Hope Claims 4 Portuguese Ships On May 24, 1500
Cape Of Good Hope Disaster Portended By Comet May 12-23, 1500
Capital City, Birthplace of Capital Punishment
Capital Concern
Capital Crime
Capital Difficulty
Capital Fellow
Capital Gain
Capital Idea
Capital-Intensivee
Capital Levy
Capital Offense
Capital Punishment
Capital Screw Up
Capital Ship
Capitol Steps - We Put The MOCK In DeMOCracy
Capitalism Assumes You Can Win, Socialism You Can Break Even, Mysticism You Can Quit
Capitalism Can Exist In One Of Only Two States - Welfare Or Warfare
Capitalism Is Based On Assumption You Can Win, Socialism That You Can Break Even
Capitalism Is Unequal Sharing Of Blessings; Socialism Equal Sharing Of Miseries [Churchill]
Capitalists Are The Brains Of Civilization [Napoleon Hill]
71

Capitalists Are The Brains Of Civilization, Add Hearts & Youll Have People
Capitalists In Communism 101 Got Lousy Marx
Capitals In Upper Case
Capsized! Transcends Musical Genres With Strangely Coherent Cinema For The Ears
Captain Feather Sword, The Friendly Pirate [The Wiggles]
Car Dealership: Best Way To Get Back On Your Feet - Miss A Car Payment
Car Screeched In Anguish, Its Flesh Laid Bare In Raucous Collision [Compound Metaphor]
Carbon Copy
Carbon Footprint
Card Count: One, Two Button Your Shoe.. Oops!
Card Counting : Four, no Five Cards Were Jostling To Be First On The Comedy Club Stage
Card Counting In Blackjack: Ace, King, Queen, Jack &Ten -1; 2 To 6 +1; 7 To 9 Zero
Card Counting In Blackjack: Starting From Zero When Count Is 7 Or 8 Enter Game?
Card Sharks
Card Sharks: Witty, Fishy, Back Stabbing Professional Card Players
Cardboard Belt Would Be A Waist Of Paper
Cardinal Sin
Cardinal Wuerl Whirls In
Cardiologist's Diet: If It Tastes Good, Spit It Out!
Care Bear Stare!!! [The Care Bears]
Care Industry
Care Killed A Cat, Thou Hast Mettle Enough In Thee To Kill Care [Shakespeare]
Care Killed The Cat, Tho Cat Has 9 Lives, 'Care Would Wear Them All Out' [Brewer 1898]
Care Killed The Cat, Those Poorly Cared For Or Those Who Were Worrywarts?
Career & Life Must Not Be Confused. One Cares For Rear, Other Cares For Posterearity!
Career Criminal
Careful Disorderliness [Herman Melville]
Careful Dutchman [Martin Van Buren]
Careful Gambler
Careful, We Don't Want To Learn From This [Calvin & Hobbes]
Caregiver Primarily Responsible For A Child's Education Is Apparent
Care'll Kill A Cat, Up-Tails All, Hang Sorrow, & A Louse For Hangman [Ben Jonson 1598]
Cargo Ship Carrying Red Paint Collided With Another Carrying Brown, Marooning Both Crews
Caring Republican
Carmageddon [LA Freeway 405 Shutdown]
Carnal Innocence
Carnival Cruise Ship Triumph Became A Floating Porta-Potty [After Fire Damage]
Carnivorous Vegetarian
Carnivorous Vegetation
Carpe Diem (Pluck The Day; Seize The Day)
Carpenters Cut To Fit, Then Beat Into Place
Carpenter's Heavy Tools Were Uncomfortable So He Got A Little Sore
Carpocalypse [See Carmageddon]
Cartoonist Found Dead At Home, Details Are Sketchy
Cartoonist Found Dead At Home, Details Are Sketchy But Clues Thought To Be In Bubbles
Case Against Donut Thief Was Full Of Holes
72

Case Of Beer & Hours In A Day Both 24! Coincidence?

Cash In Must Exceed Cash Out
Cash Poor
Cashed In, Dropped Out
Cashed In One's Chips
Cashless Society
Cashless Sorority
Cassoulet, As Life Itself, Is Not So Simple As It Seems [Paula Wolfert]
Cassoulet, French Casserole Of Beans & Meat Only Comes To Life With Herbs & Spice
Castle: The man stuffed his dog [S02E18] Inquisitive Viewer: With What?
Casual Business
Casual Chic [Calvin & Hobbes]
Casual Dress
Casual Elegance
Casual Formality
Casual Friday
Casual Intimacy
Casual Sex
Casually Concerned
Cat Ate Cheese & Waited For Mouse With Baited Breath
Cat Got Your Mouse
Cat Got Your Tongue
Cat May Look At A King
Cat Proof
Cat Who Doesn't Act Finicky Soon Loses Control Of His Owner [9 Lives Cat Food]
Catastrophic Success
Catbird Seat
Catch Some Zs
Catch The Trade Winds In Your Sails. Explore. Dream. Discover [Mark Twain]
Catchword Or Phrase, An Identifying Shibboleth, Saying, Slogan, Motto Or Trademark
Catchy Question
Catchy Title
Catdog
Categorical Imperative [Kant]
Categorical Imperative, It Is Never Right To Lie? If So, All Lying Is Wrong [Kant]
Caterpillars End Is The Butterflys Beginning
Catfish
Catholic Church Is A Critical Part Of American Society, But Is It Too Critical? [In America]
Catholic Church Is A Critical Part Of American Society, But Is It Too Critical? [Of America]
Catholic WASP
Catholics Who Reach 2nd Base Come On Home - Once You Commit A Mortal Sin, Enjoy It!
Catnap
Catproof
Cats Are Often The Victims Of Fur-Ball Abuse
Cats Regard People As Warm-Blooded Furniture
Cat's Hit German Cat Toy [Reads Like CATSHIT]
73

CATSHIT German Cat Toy [Really Cats Hit]

Caucasians [Colored Light To Dark]
Caught 'Twixt A Rock & A Hard Place
Caught 'Twixt A Rock & A Hard Place, 'Tis This Pain Or Pleasure?
Cauliflower Is Nothing But Cabbage With A College Education [Mark Twain]
Cause Change & Lead, Accept Change & Survive, Resist Change & Die [Ray Norda]
Cause Im Hip -- Whatever The Fads, Whatever The Ads [Blossom Dearie]
Cauterized Quarter-Sized Quadriplegics Amputations
Caution: I Drive Like You Do [Bumper Sticker]
Caution: I Have An Attitude & I Know How To Use It
Caution, Research Causes Cancer In Rats
Caution: When You Stop To Think, Don't Forget To Start Again!
Cautious Cal [Calvin Coolidge]
Cautiously Optimistic
Cavalier Concern
Caveat Emptor
Caveat Venditor
Caviar Is To Dining What A Sable Coat Is To A Girl In Evening Dress [Ludwig Bemelmans]
CBS News Was About As Important As A Nit On A Gnat's Nut [Dan Rather]
CDO: This Three-Letter Acronym Stands For Collateralized Debt Obligation
Celebrity News
Celery Hearts
Celibacy Is Not Hereditary
Celibate Sects Breed Themselves Out Of Existence In One Generation
Cell Phone
Cell Phone For Cellblock Four
Cell Phones Are A Static Symbol
Cement Overshoes
Cemetery Announces Cost Of Living Increases
Cemetery Lane
Cemetery's Burial Fees Jumped Sky High Because Of Cost Of Living Increases
Censor & The Inquisitor Have Always Lost [Alfred Whitney Griswold]
Censor Bird
Censor Is A Man Who Knows More Than He Thinks You Ought To [Dr. Laurence J. Peter]
Censor, Self-Appointed Snoop Hound Who Sticks Nose In Others Business [Bennett Cerf]
Censors Do What Only Psychotics Do, They Confuse Reality With Illusion [David Cronenberg]
Censor's Sword Pierces Deeply Into The Heart Of Free Expression [Earl Warren]
Censors 'Worry If Girl Has Cleavage, They Ought To Worry If She Hasn't Any' [M. Monroe]
Censorship Feeds The Dirty Mind More Than The Four-Letter Word Itself [Dick Cavett]
Censorship Offends, Editorship Attends, Authorship Ascends & Anticensorship Defends! [BJL]
Censorship Reflects Society's Lack Of Confidence In Itself [Potter Stewart]
Census Findings Show Nebraskans Getting Older [IronHerder Header]
Census Findings Show Nebraskans Getting Older Year By Year, Even Newborns
Center Around
Center Edge
Central Intelligence Agency
74

Centrally-Planned Economy
Centrist Democratic Think Tank
Cereal That's Shot From Guns! [Quaker Puffed Wheat Cereal]
Certain Risk
Certainly Unsure
Certainties Of One Age Are The Problems Of The Next [R. H. Tawney]
Certified Ethical Hacker, Certification by International Council Of E-Commerce Consultants
Certified Green Grass
Certified Pre-Owned Means Mercedes Is Certified To Be Used!
Certitudes Of Soviet Life
Certs Sucking Libyan Rebels Assert Sirte Certainly Will Fall
Cetaphobia, A Whale Of A Phobia, The Fear Of Whales
Cetaphobia, Suffered By Moby Dick, Thats Why He Was A Loner
Cha-Cha On!
Chachalacas*
Chain Is No Stronger Than Its Missing Link
Chain Is No Stronger Than Its Weakest Link
Chain Of Reasoning Is No Stronger Than Its Weakest Link
Chains Of Habit Are Too Light To Feel Until They Are Too Heavy To Break [Warren Buffet]
Chainsaw Operators Aspire To Be Branch Managers
Challenges Can Be Stepping Stones Or Stumbling Blocks, Depending On Viewpoint
Chamade Signals Enemy By Drum Or Trumpet Of Desire To Parley, Perhaps To Parlay Peace
Champagne Wishes & Caviar Dreams [Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous]
Chance Favors The Prepared Mind [Louis Pasteur 1822-95]
Chance Favors Only The Prepared Mind Where Observation Is Concerned [Louis Pasteur]
Chances Are Slim To None
Chances Are Slim To None & Slim Just Left The Building
Change Friends When Friends Change?
Change Is As Good As A Rest
Change Is Constant
Change Is Fine As Long As Things Continue As They Always Have
Change Is Inevitable
Change Is Inevitable, Everybody Resists Change Except A Wet Baby
Change Is Inevitable Except From Vending Machines
Change Is Inevitable, Improvement Is Optional [Bumper Sticker]
Change Is More Likely Due To Want Power Than Will Power [George Sheehan]
Change Is Not A Process For The Impatient [Barbara Reinhold]
Change Is The Law Of Life [John F. Kennedy]
Change Is The Only Constan
Change Is The Only Thing That Will Remain Constant [Anthony J. D'Angelo]
Change Management
Change Nothing & Continue Consistently
Change Not Made Without Inconvenience, Even From Worse To Better [Richard Hooker]
Change Shmange!
Change Your Sad Rags To Glad Rags
Change Your Thoughts & You Change Your World [Norman Vincent Peale]
75

Change Your World & Youll Change Your Thoughts

Chaos, Panic & Disorder, Just Another Monday
Chaos, Panic, Disaster & Pandemonium - My Work Here Is Done!
Chaos Reigns Within. Reflect, Repent, & Reboot. Order Shall Return [Haiku]
Chaos Theory
Chaotic Action Is Preferable To Orderly Inaction [Will Rogers]
Chaotic Organization
Chappaquiddick Portends Death By Flicked Bic
Character Is Like A Fence, It Cannot Be Strengthened By Whitewash
Character Is Like A Tree & Reputation Like A Shadow [Abraham Lincoln]
Character Is Like Person In A Plethora, Dying Of Too Much Health [School For Scandal]
Character Is Made By What You Stand For, Reputation By What You Fall For
Character Is What You Are, Reputation Is What People Think You Are
Characteristic British Face, Once Seen Is Never Remembered [Oscar Wilde]
Charity Begins At Home
Charity Begins At Home, Success Begins At Work
Charlie Was A Chemist, Charlie Is No More. What Charlie Thought Was H20 Was H2SO4
Charlie, White Oppressor Or Vietnamese Guerrilla, Take Your Pick!
Charm Is Better Than Beauty [Khein Geit Iber Shein]
Charm Is Getting The Answer Yes Without Asking A Clear Question [Albert Camus]
Charm Offensive
Charter Communications
Chauvinist Male Pigs
Chase The Bright Elusive Butterfly Of Love
Chasing His Own Tail, Running After His Runaway Wife
Chasing His Own Tail, Running Around In Circles
Chasing Leads Or Chasing Tail? He Chased Leads Like He Was Chasing His Own Tail!
Chaste Makes Waste
Chaste Whore [Evan Esar]
Chastity Belt
Chastity Is Curable, Best Detected Early
Chastity Is No More A Virtue Than Malnutrition [Alex Comfort]
Chattering Bird Builds No Nest [African Proverb]
Cheap Diamond
Cheap Gas
Cheap Is Expensive
Cheap Is More Expensive
Cheap Jewelry
Cheap Schooling
Cheap Shot
Cheap Skates
Cheaper The Hood, The More Colorful The Language [The Maltese Falcon, 1941]
Cheapest Is Dearest [Vos Iz Billik Iz Teier]
Cheats Never Prosper
Checks & Balances
Checks & Balances Congress Deposits Checks & Increases Their Balances [Daily Show]
76

Check & Checkmate

Check Is In The Mail Or Czech Is In The Male? Check It Out!
Checkpoint
Cheeba [Marijuana]
Cheer Up, The Worst Is Yet To Come
Cheerful Cynic
Cheerful Pessimist
Cheerful Undertaker
Cheerfulness Is Contagious - Be A Carrier, Don't Wait To Catch It!
Cheerfully Cynical
Cheerfully Mournful
Cheerioats Ated By Quaker Oats, Hence Now Cheerios [1945 TM Dispute - See End Vol. 1]
Cheerleading
Cheerleading Scholarship
Cheers Boston From Gods Lips To Gods Ear, We Pray For Abundant Cheer
Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkey [Frenchman - The Simpsons]
Cheese Is Milk's Leap Toward Immortality [Clifton Fadiman]
Cheese Is The Adult Form Of Milk [Richard Condon]
Cheese May Disappoint, May Be Dull, May Be Naive & May Be Over-Sophisticated [Fadiman]
Cheese, Milk's 'Leap Toward Immortality' [Clifton Fadiman]
Cheese Problems Solved [P.L.H. McSweeney]
Cheese Problems Solved, The Cheesier The Better
Cheese Steak
Cheesecake [Food/Graphic]
Cheesemonger, A Life On The Wedge [Gordon Edgar]
Chef Is Any Cook Who Swears In French [Henry Beard & Roy Mckie]
Chef Is Any Cook Who Swears In French, Chief Chef Is One Who Knows HOW!
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed Needy [Headline - Organ Donor?]
Chemist Who Falls In Acid Gets Absorbed In Work
Chemists When They Die, They Barium
Cherokee Pioneer [Car]
Cherry Tomato
Cheshire Cat Frowns
Cheshire Cat1: 'Twas Brilig, & The Slithy Toves, Did Gyre & Gimble In The Wabe
Cheshire Cat2: All Mimsy Were The Borogroves, & The Mome Raths Outgrabe
Chess Is Mental Torture [Gary Kasparov]
Chess Masters' Convention Chess Nuts Boasting In An Open Foyer
Chew Chew Train Is A Train Loaded With Toffee
Chewing Gum! New & Superior Preparation Of Spruce Gum [Chicago Daily Democrat, 1850]
Chewing The Food Of Sweet & Bitter Fancy [William Shakespeare]
Chewy Balls Restaurant [Houston, Texas]
Chicago Crime Is A Redundancy, Chicago Calm An Oxymoroncy
Chicago Politics
Chicago Radiator Shop: 'Best Place In Town To Take A Leak'
Chicago Three-Year In Ground Voting Rule
Chicagoland
77

Chicanery, The Use Of Manipulation, Trickery & Sophistry To Chicly Deceive

Chick Accuses Some Of Her Male Colleagues Of Sexism [L.A. Times - Laura Chick]
Chick Comes From Sitting Hen, Baby From Standing Cock
Chicken Coop Always Has Two Doors, If It Had Four It Would Be A Chicken Sedan
Chicken Crossed Road To Exercise Her Last Rites
Chicken Crossing Road Is Poultry In Motion
Chickens Dance Chick To Chick
Chicken Doesn't Stop Scratching Just Because The Worms Are Scarce
Chicken Exercised Her Rights To Cross Road To Exercise Her Last Rites
Chicken Fajitas
Chicken Fricassee Stewed With, Schmaltz, Harts, Gorgle, Pipick, Fleegle & Kleyn Ayelech
* Chicken Stew Fricasseed With Chicken Fat, Heart, Neck, Gizzard, Wing & Premature Eggs
Chicken Fingers
Chicken Fried Steak
Chicken In Every Pot
Chicken In Every Pot Field
Chicken Of The Sea Tuna
Chicken-On -The-Argo [Kids Chicago Nomenclature]
Chicken Philly Steak
Chickens Aren't Chickens When They Dance 'Chick To Chick,' They Came Out!
Chickens, Only Animals You Eat Before They Are Born & After They Are Dead
Chickity China The Chinese Chicken [Barenaked Ladies]
Chicks Before Dicks, Always [Gals Of Awkward]
Chicks Dig Scars - Not The Chicks I Dig [Stargate Atlantis]
Chief Cause Of Problems Is Solution [Eric Sevareid]
Chief Masturbating Sergeant, Full Monty Brigade
Chief Obstacle To The Progress Of The Human Race Is The Human Race [Don Marquis]
Chief Cook & Bottle Washer
Child Is Father To The Child
Child Is Father To The Man
Child-Like Adults Are Silly, Adult-Like Children Are Delinquents
Child Manners
Child Miners
Child Minors
Child Of Five Would Understand This, Fetch A Child Of Five [Groucho Marx]
Child Prodigy knows As Much When Its A Child As It Does When It Grows Up [Will Rogers]
Child Proof
Child Safe
Childless Virgin
Children Are Afraid Of The Dark, Adults Are Afraid Of The Light
Children Are The Hands By Which We Take Hold Of Heaven [Henry Ward Beecher]
Children Bring Good Fortune, Children Bring Misfortune
Children Close Their Ears Tight To Advice, But Open Their Eyes Wide To Example
Children In The Dark Cause Accidents, Accidents In The Dark Cause Children
Children Should Be Seen, & Not Heard
Children Should Be Seen, & Not Heard, TEXT!
78

Chile Miners
Chilean Chilly Chili Is In The Chilly Bin
Chili Beans Should Be Cold, But Mostly Theyre Devilish & Get Too Damn Hot!
Chili Is Hot!
Chili Is Hot, Hotter Or Hottest!
Chili - Hot, Medium & Mild
Chili Is Spicy Hot & Served Heated, How Come?
Chili Represents Your 3 Stages Of Matter - Solid, Liquid & Eventually Gas [Roseanne]
Chilling Fever
Chills & Fever
Chilly Paddling Eskimo Lit Fire & Drowned As Can't Have Kayak & Heat It Too
Chimp Champ Counted To 20, But Was Not So Smart, He Had To Use His Fingers & Toes
Chimp Chief Made Chump Of Champ, Counting to 21 By Also Using His
China Bought Volvo From Ford & Became A Red Car-Nation!
China Introduced Silk, Tea, Oranges, Paper, Gunpowder, Compasses, But Not Chow Mein
China Is The Weed In The Human Cabbage Patch [Henry Miller]
China Is The Weed [That] Is The Nemesis Of Human Endeavour [Henry Miller]
China Twenty-First Century-Style Is Vigorous Capitalism Tinted Red, But Not White & Blue
China Syndrome
China Syndrome, The Quickest Way From Here To China?
Chinaware
Cinderella Dropped From Team For Running Away From Ball
Chinese American
Chinese Auction
Chinese Chop Suey
Chinese Copy
Chinese Copy Was Being Waited For By The Editor Of The Beijing Times
Chinese Copy Was Produced By Translation Program
Chinese Copy Was Produced Through Reverse Engineering
Chinese Couple Birthing White Baby Name It 'Sum Ting Wong'
Chinese Deserter
Chinese Dessert
Chinese Dumplings [Jiaozi] Are Boiled [Shuijiao], Steamed [Zhengjiao] & Pan Fried [Guotie]
Chinese Dumplings Guotie Means Pan Stick, Which In North America Became Potstickers
Chinese Grocery Homo Sausage & Mini-Dickmann & Finger Marie Phallic Shaped Cakes
Chinese Grocery Megapussi Taffel Snack, Vergina Lager Beer & Happy Crak! Popcorn
Chinese Grocery My Fannie Roll Paper & Fart, Cok, Pet Sweat, SARS Drinks
Chinese Grocery ShitBegone Toilet Paper, Shito Mix & Shitto Hotly Spiced Pepper Sauce
Chinese Grocery Spicy Cock Mix, Wack-Off Repellent, Bimbo Sandwich & Asse Chocolate
Chinese Legal System
Chinese Phone Book Has So Many Wings & Wongs You May Wing The Wong Number
Chinese Wall
Chinese Wall Climbable Through Reverse Engineering
Chinese Water Torture
Chinysteria Fear Of All Things Chinese
Chiropractics Does Not Cure Disease, It Adjusts Dis-Ease [Daniel David Palmer 1845-1913]
79

Chiropractors Charges Cracked His Back [Billings]

Chiropractors Charges Cracked His Back [Electronic]
Chocoholic
Chocoholicism Beats Coffeeholicism, But A Large Pinch In Chocolate Certainly Adds Zest!
Chocoholics' 12-Step Program: Never Be Over 12 Steps Away From Chocolate! [Terry Moore]
Chocoholics Know That Its A Vegetable Coming From The Cocoa Bean, A Veggie, 'Nuff Said
Chocoholics Theology - Heaven Is Where The Chocolate Is!
Chocolate Both For Health & Nourishment Is Superior To Tea & Coffee [Thomas Jefferson]
Chocolate, Chemically Speaking, Is The World's Perfect Food [Michael Levine]
Chocolate Covered Bugs For Passover!? [Building Jewish Bridges] - Aunt Oxy, How Moronic!?
Chocolate For Serious Chocoholic Is Better Than Sex & I Need To Know Where He Gets His!
Chocolate Given To Child To Eat Cereal, Now Chocolate Is In The Cereal [Robert Orben]
Chocolate: Here Today ... Gone Today!
Chocolate Is Madness; Chocolate Is Delight [Judith Olney]
Chocolate Kisses Can Be Kiss Of Death To Diets, But One Good Night Kiss Is Dietightful
Chocolate, I Never Met A Chocolate I Didn't Like [Deanna Troi, Star Trek, TNG]
Chocolate, Men, Coffee - Some Things Are Better Rich
Chocolate Mousse
Chocolate 'Nilla Wafers
Chocolate, Nine Of Ten People Like Chocolate, The 10th Person Always Lies [John Q. Tullius]
Chocolate Survey Revealed That 9 Out Of 10 People Like Chocolate, The 10th Lies [R. Paul]
Chocolate, The OTHER Major Food Group
Chocolate Vanilla Wafers
Chocolates Chocolate, Other Things Are Just Food [Patrick Skene Catling]
Chocolates, My Favorite Thing, 'Which Is, For Sure, Better Than Sex' [Alicia Silverstone]
Choking Your Chicken
Choose A Job You Like & Youll Never Have To Work A Day In Your Life [Confucius]
Choose Choice
Choose To Be Optimistic, It Feels Better [Dali Lama]
Choose Your Friends Carefully, Your Enemies Will Choose You
CHOP Childrens Surgery Unit [Childrens Hospital Of Philadelphia]
Chop Suey Chinese [Maybe, Known In US By 1888, But Reported In Taishan In 1890s]
Chop Your Own Wood & It Will Warm You Twice [Henry Ford]
Chopped Liver Is Better Than Miserable Troubles
Chopsticks Are One Of The Reasons The Chinese Never Invented Custard [Spike Milligan]
Choreophobia, Iranian Revolution's Hatred & Prohibition Of Dance [Anthony Shay]
Chow Baby
Chow Down
Chow Mein Chinese [Probable Not As It Is Known In US]
Chowder Breathes Reassurance, It Steams Consolation [Clementine Paddleford]
Chris Christie Opponent Claims Chris'll Kiss Whichever Ass Shits The Most Gold
Christmas Trees & Priests Both Have Balls Just For Decoration
Christian Butchers [Moro Massacre-Mark Twain (1906)]
Christian Conservatives - The Ultimate Oxymoron [Adigal]
Christian Crusaders
Christian Evolutionist
80

Christian Gangster
Christian Gentry
Christian Haunted House
Christian-Libertarianism Is Oxymoronic [Brian Miller]
Christian Militia
Christian Orthodoxy hid In U.S. from Christian Arian Vandals Circa 500 AD
Christian Pagans
Christian Right
Christian Saints
Christian Science
Christian Scientist
Christian Sinners
Christian Soldier
Christian Sun Worshippers Exposed On Star Trek
Christian Wicca
Christians Acknowledge They Are Non-Jews By Calling Themselves Gentiles
Christians Are Gentiles Except In Utah & India Where Mormons & Hindus Respectively Are
Christians, Hindus & Mormons Refer To Themselves As Gentiles
Christmas A Quarter Day In England, Wales, & Ireland
Christmas Day Massacre
Christmas Got Yo Yule Goat, Yo Yule Log & Yo Yule Tree All From Yo Pagans
Christmas Joins Roman 'Birth Of The Unconquered Sun' & Persian 'Sun Of Righteousness'
Christmas Joins Sun Worship With Son Worship
Christmas Pagan Origins Are Beyond Doubt & Behind Rituals [Lorraine Day, M.D.]
Christmas Trees Don't Grow On Trees [UPI]
Christo-Pagans
Chronic Illegal Parkers Suffer From Parking Zones Disease
Chronophobia - Fear Of Future Time Travel & Time Moving Forward, A Standpatist!
Chronoscopy Is The Observation & Exact Estimation Of Time
Chubbies Try Harder [Scrubs]
Chuck, How Much Wood Could A Woodchuck Chuck If A Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood?
Chuck Norris Doesn't Read Books, He Stares Them Down Until They Spit Out Their Info
Chuck Norris Is Not Hung Like A Horse, Horses Are Hung Like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris Is Suing NBC As Law & Order Are Trademarks For His Left & Right Legs
Chuck Norris Ownz Joo, He Lost His Virginity Before His Dad Did!
Chump Change
Chump Chimp [Roger Rabbit]
Church Key
Church Of Scientology
Church's Bills Are Always 'Due Unto Others'
Chutney Is Marvelous ... It's Very Imperial [Dianna Vreeland]
Chutzpah, Yiddish For A Person With Nerve, Guts, Daring &/Or Audaciousness
CIA Cooperation
Cibophobia & Sitophobia - Anorexic's Aversion To Food
Cigar Store No Smoking
Cigarette Does The Smoking, You Are Just The Sucker
81

Cigarette Is Pinch Of Tobacco, Wrapped In Paper, Fire At One End, Sucker At Other
Cigarette Pleasure Is Directly Proportional To Number Of Non-Smokers In Area
Cigarette Smoke Seeks Out The Non-Smokers Regardless Of Where Located
Cigarettes/Cigarrillos Conceived At The Chaparro Casa In Havanas Cigarro Distrito?
Cigarettes First Rolled Off Mechanical Rollers Circa 1883 [James Bonsack, Inventor]
Cinderella Was Rotten At Football, Her Coach Was An Old Pumpkin
Cinema For The Ears
Cineographic Carnival
Circle Has 2 (In-Outside/Up-Downside), 0 , 1 Or Sides; Depending On Your Reckoning
Circle Has No End [Isaac Asimov]
Circular Definition: See Definition, Circular
Circumcision: Vote Yes, Not Crazy About Turtle Necks [Christine Shaw, Daily Show]
Circumspectively Circumcised
Circus Driver Was Unruly & Refused To Tow The Lion
Circus Envy: When I Lose, I Climb A Tree & Drop A Load On Your Head [REM]
Citation [Crime/Merit]
Citizen Journalists
Citizen Soldier
City Is A Large Community Where People Are Lonesome Together
City Life Is Millions Of People Being Lonesome Together [Henry David Thoreau]
City Park
City Worker
Civies Leveled The Ranks
Civil Attorney
Civil Demeanor
Civil Disobedience
Civil Disorder
Civil Engineer
Civil Engineer Blows Stack!
Civil Libertarian
Civil Litigation
Civil Rights
Civil Servant
Civil Servants, No Longer Servants, No Longer Civil [Winston Churchill]
Civil Service
Civil Strife
Civil Unrest
Civil War
Civil War - How Is It Possible To Have A Civil War? [George Carlin]
Civil Wilderness [Robert Herrick]
Civil Wilderness Of Sleep
Civilian Soldier
Civility Superimposed
Civilization Advances, 'In Every War They Kill You In A New Way' [Will Rogers]
Civilization Is A Race Between Education & Catastrophe [H. G. Wells]
82

Civilized Divorce
Civilized Warfare
Clairvoyants Meeting Canceled Due To Unforeseen Events
Claret Liquor For Boys, Port For Men, But A Hero Must Drink Brandy [Samuel Johnson]
Clash Of Civilizations [Basil Mathews - Young Islam On Trek, 1926]
Clash Of Civilizations Started Seriously With The Crusades & Still Continues
Class A MD With Class F Personality Persecuted By Class F MDs With Class A Personalities
Class Clown
Class War Should Have Classy Warriors [Rapper Mos Def]
Classic Coke
Classic Coke Oven
Classic Coke Overdose
Classic New Car
Classic New Homes
Classic Novel
Classic Rock & Roll
Classical Jazz
Classified Materials Are Kept Secret, Classified Ads Are Publicly Published
Claustrophobia , Fear Of Closed Spaces As Im Afraid The Liquor Store Is Closed
Claustrophobia - Having No Escape From Moron's Guide To Oxymorons Updates
Clay Pigeon Objected To Installation Of Trapshooting Slingers, Skeeting A Wad At Big Shots
Clay Pigeon Of Milford, PA Or Clayton A. Pigeon Of Woodridge Lane, Green Bay, WI?
Clay Pigeon Skeet Shooting, Old Form Of Shoot Said 1926 Contest Winner [ Old Norse Skjta]
Clean Addict
Clean Air
Clean Bathroom
Clean Boy
Clean Coal
Clean Desk Is A Sign Of A Cluttered Desk Drawer
Clean Dirt
Clean Desk Is A Sign Of A Cluttered Drawer
Clean Desk Is A Sign Of A Cluttered Mind
Clean Hack
Clean House Is A Sure Sign Of A Broken Computer
Clean Kill
Clean Litter
Clean Mud
Clean Oil
Clean Soot
Clean Ties Daily Injured By Your Soup De Jour
Clean Toilet
Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness
Cleanliness Is Next To Impossible, So Is Godliness
Cleaning House Were Kids Live Is Like Shoveling The Walk While Its Still Snowing
Clear As Mud
Clear Conscience
83

Clear Conscience Equals Bad Memory

Clear Conscience Is Sign Of A Fuzzy Memory
Clear Conscience Is Usually The Sign Of A Bad Memory
Clear Mark
Clear Skinned Adolescent
Clear Statement Is The Strongest Argument [English Proverb]
Clearly Ambiguous
Clearly Confused
Clearly Confusing
Clearly Invisible
Clearly Misunderstood
Clearly Obfuscating
Clearly Obscure
Clearly Opaque
Clearly Stated Instructions Will Consistently Produce Multiple Interpretations
Clearly The Best, Are You Clear On That? [Chicago Tempered Glass]
Cleary Day, Dreary Night
Cleavage & The Sun Can Be Glance At Longer If You Wear Sunglasses
Cleveland Gran Prix
Clever Cook Can Make Good Meat Of A Whetstone [Erasmus]
Clever Cook Can Make Good Meat Of A Whetstone, If Diners Are Also Stoned
Clever Fool [Raymond Chandler]
Clever People Will Recognize & Tolerate Nothing But Cleverness [Henri Frederic Amiel]
Cleverly Stupid
Click Start To Shut Down
Click The Start Button To Shut Down
Click The Start Button To Shut Down The Computer
Clickety-Click Clickity-Clack Click-Clack
Cliffhanger
Cliff's Notes Expos! To Make A Long Story Short... [Steven Wright]
Climate Is What We Expect, Weather Is What We Get
Climatologist Says Year Of Moisture Could End Drought [IronHerder Header]
Climax Arrested
Climb Down
Climb High, Climb Far, Your Goal The Sky, Your Aim The Star
Climbed The Corporate Ladder Wrong By Wrong
Climbing Down The Company Ladder You Meet The Same People You Stepped On Going Up
Clinton Celibacy
Clinton Unimpeachable
Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead [Headline]
Clitoric Tale
Clitoric Tail
Clitoridectomy Cut Short
Cloak & Dagger
Cloak & Shag Her
Cloak & Shag Her Operation Initiated By General Petraeus In The Line Of Booty
84

Clock Is Two Minutes Ahead & One Hour Behind

Clogged Drain
Clones Are People Two
Clones Are Too People
Clop, Clop, Clop, Bang, Bang, Clop-Clop-Clop [Amish Drive-By Shooting]
Close Distance
Close Encounter Of Worst Kind 1: You'll Always Met Those You Don't Want To See
Close Encounter Of Worst Kind 2: You'll Always Met Those You Don't Want To Be Seen With
Closed Eyes Wide
Closed Mouth Gathers No Feat
Closed Mouth Gathers No Feet
Closed Mouth Gathers No Foot
Closed My Open Mind To Keep My Brains From Falling Out
Closer Was Too Close To The Closet Door To Close It
Closest Thing He Had To A Brainstorm Was A Slow Drizzle
Closest To The Closet Door, He Stood Awaiting Stares No More
Closet Exhibitionist
Clothe An Idea In Words & It Loses Its Freedom Of Movement [Egon Friedell]
Clothes Make The Man
Clothes Make The Man, But Only After Man Makes The Clothes
Clothes Make The Man, Naked People Have Little Or No Influence In Open Society
Clothes Make The Man, Naked People Have Little Or No Influence Openly In Society
Clothes Make The Man, Nudity Makes The Party
Clothing Store Sign: Come Inside & Have A Fit
Cloud Burst
Cloud Computing
Clueless Clue
Clueless Man Equals A Uniformed Relationships With Society
Cluster Bomb
Clutter Accumulates To Fill The Space Available
Cluttered Desk Is The Sign Of A Cluttered Mind
C'mon, Baby, Light My Fire [The Doors' 1967]
C'mon Colman's, Light My Fire [Colman's Mustard]
Cna Ytpe 300 Wrods Pre Mniuet
Co-Ed Fraternity
Co-Ed Sorority
Coach Catches Fire - Passengers Quickly Alight [Headline]
Coach Catches Fire - Passengers Quickly Alight Alighted By Fires Glow
Coach Catches Fire - Wins Fierce Fiery Victory For Underdogs
Coaches Usually Have A Goal In Mind
Coal Gasification
Coal Mine Safety
Cobble Covered Kabul Site Of Kaput Corrupt Afghani Killer Confederates
Cobbler Always Wears The Worst Shoes
Cobblers Cobbling In Cobble Covered Kabul New Confederation From Corrupt Antecedents
COBOL - Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
85

Coca-Cola Foods
Coca-Cola In One Chinese Dialect: Ke-Ke-Ken-La Or 'Bite The Wax Tadpole'
Coca-Cola In Second Dialect: Ke-Ke-Ken-La Or 'Female Horse Stuffed With Wax'
Coca-Cola Then Re-Rendered Ko-Kou-Ko-Le Or Loosely Happiness In The Mouth'
Cock & Bull Story
Cock Comes After Chick
Cock Flavoured Jamaican Soup Mix
Cock-Of-The-Rocks*
Cock Slapped: Slapping A Rooster; Or Being Slapped By Either A Fowl Or Foul Cock
Cock Slapping: Slapping Ones Rooster; Or A Penile Flogging Of One Who Is Down
Cock-Tailed Tyrants*
Cockeyed Idea
Cockeyed Optimist
Cocksure Materialist
Cocktail Is To A Glass Of Wine As Rape Is To Love [Paul Claudel]
Cocktail Party, Hundred People Stand, Smile & Talk, Nodding Like Gooney Birds' [Wm Cole]
Cocktails Are Society's Most Enduring Invention! [Elsa Maxwell]
Cocktails Are Society's Most Enduring Invention, Especially Syllabized & Re-Combined
Coco Corporation Has Deep Pockets - Sue It! [Barry J. Lipson]
Coconut, A Meal For A Man, Both Meat & Drink [Marco Polo]
Coconut: Hispanic, Pacific Islander, Black &/Or South Asian Dravidian, Trying To Be White
Cod: A Bloody Fish Often Surrounded By Chips
Cod & Cod Sack: A Guy Who's A Dick, Also Male Genitalia
Cod: Cash On Delivery, Cause Of Death, Children's Online Daycare Or Call Of Duty Addict?
Cod: Catch Of Day, Classic Old Dude, Creepy Older Dude Or Common Ordinary Dick?
Cod: City Of Dahlonega [GA-Site Of 1st Us Gold Rush] Or College Of DuPage [Glen Ellyn]?
Cod: Code Of Silence [Cone Of Silence-Get Smart?] Or Careless, Obnoxious & Dangerous?
Cod: Complete Organ Dropout [Male Wardrobe Malfunction] Or Codswallop?
Cod: Crack Of Doom [Derrire Exposure] Or Crap On Disk [SOS-Shit On Shingle?]?
Cod: Cutie On Demand, Cootie On Demand Or Choking On Dick?
Cod: Female Genitalia, Especially When Odiferous
Cod: Scrotum [Middle English, Where Safely Tucked In Codpiece]
Coddling Cuddler Copped A Feel On Cop A Feel Friday
Codpiece Especially Odiferous With Cod In Breeches
Cod's Throat Sported A Wondacous Wattle [Attorney General Janet Reno?]
Codswallop: Senseless & Untrue Statements & Beliefs
Coed Fraternity
Coed Sorority
Coexistence, What The Farmer Does With The Turkey Until Thanksgiving [Mike Connolly]
Coffee Alone Is Not Enough, Have A Danish
Coffee Cup Grounds Laced With Ground Glass Are Grounds For Suit
Coffee-Drinking Individual - Espresso Yourself!
Coffee, I Like It Like My Women - Hot, Strong, Steamy, With A Hint Of Tart
Coffee, I Like Mine Strong, Not Lethal! [M*A*S*H]
Coffee Induces Wit ... Gives Impression You Have Lived In The East [Edward VII]
Coffee Is Base, Black, Thick, Nasty, Bitter, Stinking Nauseous Puddle Water [1674]
86

Coffee Is Never Drunk At My Lunch, I Find It Keeps Me Awake [Ronald Reagan]

Coffee Isn't My Cup Of Tea [Samuel Goldwyn]
Coffee Law: Pour Hot Cup Of Coffee & Something Will Detain You Until Its Cold
Coffee, Leaded Not Decaf
Coffee Leads Men To Scald Their Chops, Trifle Away Time & Spend Their Money [1674]
Coffee: On The Eighth Day God Created Coffee!
Coffee Smells Like Freshly Ground Heaven [Jessi Lane Adams]
Coffee, Tea Or Me
Coffee, The Finest Organic Suspension Ever Devised [Star Trek Voyager]
Coffee, There's Nothing Sweeter Than A Bitter Cup [Rian Aditia]
Coffee, Without It I'd Have No Identifiable Personality Whatsoever [David Letterman]
Coffeeholic
Cognitive Dissonance - Two Beliefs Causing Conflict In One Mind (One's Mind)
Cognitive Distortions
Cogito Cogito Ergo Cogito Sum I Think That I Think, Therefore I Think That I Am
Cogito Ergo Sum, I Think, Therefore I Am [Ren Descartes]
Coincidence Is Gods Way Of Remaining Anonymous [Albert Einstein]
Coincidence Is The Word We Use When We Can't See The Levers & Pulleys [Emma Bull]
Coincidence Of Opposites With Centrality Of Fire Is Theory Of Universal Flux [Heraclitus]
Coincidences Are Spiritual Puns [Gilbert K. Chesterton]
Coincidences Not Being Coincidental Would Be Most Phenomenal Coincidence Imaginable
Coincidences That Are Too Convenient Are Suspicious
Coincidences, There Are None - There Is Synchronism
Coincidences, There Are None [Some Attribute This To Socrates]
Coincidences, There Are None In Politics [Some Attribute This To FDR]
Coinkydink, A Coincidence Gaily Divulged [NCIS]
Coitus Interruptus
Coke With Coke Was Environmentally More Friendly. Coca-Cola Started Green!
Colbe Repo - The Colbert Report Stained With Latt [Hyperforeignism]
Colbert Super Pack SHH!
Cold As Fire
Cold As Fire, Hot As Ice [Britney Spears]
Cold As Hell
Cold Calculated Acts Of Kindness [Terence M. Shine]
Cold Comfort
Cold Duck, A Chilly Bird
Cold Duck, Carbonated Inferior Burgundy Foisted Upon U.S. To Replace Inferior Champagne
Cold Fever
Cold Fire [Shakespeare]
Cold Fish
Cold Fish Wife Played Bit Part In Salmon Fishing In The Yemen, With Fish Hot To Spawn
Cold Fish Wife Soon To Be Dumped By Hubby Told Him That Should Do You For Awhile
Cold Fusion
Cold Hands, Warm Heart
Cold Heart
Cold Hotdog
87

Cold Shower
Cold Sun
Cold Sweat
Cold Toast
Cold War
Cold War Cooled Down As Opponents Warmed Up To Each Other
Cold War Linked To Intemperatures
Cold War Warms Up As Opponents Cooled Down To Each Other
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures [Headline - Duh!]
Colder The X-Ray Table, The More Of Your Body Is Required On It
Coldest Winter I Ever Spent Was A Summer In San Francisco [Mark Twain]
Cole's Law: Thinly Sliced Cabbage
Colin Powell: Need Compromise Not Mini-Flaps From Congress & Tea Party [ABC]
Colin Powell: Need Media Not Inhibiting Such Compromise [ABC]
Collapsed Matter
Collectible Antiques
Collectible Spoonings Of The Third Reich & Other X-Rated Atrocities
Collectible Spoons Of The Third Reich [James A. Yannes]
Collective I
Collective Bargaining
Collective Liberty
College, A Place Where Some Pursue Learning & Others Learn Pursuing
College, A Place Where Some Pursue Learning & Others Pursue Pursuing
College Algebra
College Is A Fountain Of Knowledge & Students Are There To Drink - Or Be Drunk
College Is A Storehouse, Freshmen Bring So Much In & Graduates Take So Little Out
College Education
College Like Woman, You Work Hard To Get In & Then Regret You Came
College Rape Policy: Harvard's Strategic Studies Institute Reports We're In Front Of It
College Rape Policy: Los Angeles Mission College Reports We're On Top Of It
College Rape Policy: Princeton's Society Of Fellows Reports We're Behind It
College Student
Colleges & Women, You Work So Hard To Get In & 9 Months Later You Wish You Hadnt
Color-Blind
Color Blindness
Color Dreams Are Just A Pigment Of Your Imagination
Color-Safe Bleach
Color Television! Bah, I Won't Believe It Until I See It In Black & White [Samuel Goldwyn]
Colored Music
Colorful Albino
Colorless Kaleidoscope
Colors, Like Features, Follow The Changes Of The Emotions [Pablo Picasso]
Colossus Of Independence [John Adams]
Columbus Used Discover Card To Finance His American Express Trip, Without Visa
Column About Errors Will Contain Errors
Combative Apology
88

Comcast To Dam & Damn Internet With Usage Caps

Come At Once If Convenient, If Inconvenient Come All The Same [Sherlock Holmes 2011]
Come Away
Come Check Out Our Stool Samples [Ikea]
Come Early On Your First Day Does Not Apply In The Porn Business
Come Fly With Me!
Come In & Buy What Your Grandmother [Mom & Wife] Threw Away [Antique Shop Sign]
Come On Down! [The Price Is Right]
Come Over For The Day & Spend The Night
Come To The Dark Side Of The Force, We Have Cookies
Come Undone: Shes So Unimpressed, But So In Awe [Robbie Williams]
Come Undone: Shes Such A Saint, But Such A Whore [Robbie Williams]
Come Undone: So Self Aware, So Full Of Shit. So Indecisive, So Adamant [Robbie Williams]
Come Up & See Me Sometime [Mae West]
Comeback Require You Having Some Place To Come Back From
Comedians Nowadays Are Taken Seriously & Politicians As A Joke [Will Rogers]
Comedic Tragedy
Comfort Me With Apples For I Am Sick Of Love [Song Of Solomon 2:5]
Comfortable Backbrace
Comfortable Bra
Comfortable Cast
Comfortable Heels
Comfortable Lingerie
Comfortable Neckbrace
Comfortable Thong
Comfortable Tights
Comfortably Dressed
Comfy Cookies
Comic Opera
Comic Tragedy
Comment Was 'No Comment'
Commercial Art
Committed Schedule
Committee: A Body That Keeps Minutes & Wastes Hours
Committee Action
Committee Can Make A Decision That Is Dumber Than Any Of Its Members [David Coblitz]
Committee Decision
Committee Consists Of Those Who Alone Can Do Nothing & Together Decide To Do Nothing
Committee Is A Group Of The Unwilling, Picked By The Unfit, To Do The Unnecessary
Committee Is A Group Who Individually Can Do Nothing & Who Together Can Decide Nothing
Committee Is A Group That Keeps The Minutes & Loses The Hours [Milton Berle]
Committee Is A Life Form With Six Or More Legs & No Brain
Committee Is Cul-De-Sac Down Which Ideas Are Lured & Then Quietly Strangled [B. Cocks]
Committee Names Committee [Reuters]
Committee Schedule
Committee To Work Has But 3 Members, 2 Of Whom Are Absent [Robert Copeland]
89

Committeemen Alone Can Do Nothing, Together Decide Nothing Can Be Done [Fred Allen]
Common Abnormality
Common Cents Coins, Annapolis, MD [Not A Rare Cent Among Them]
Common Courtesy
Common Difference
Common Law
Common Murderer, Possibly, But A Very Uncommon Cook [H.H. Munro]
Common Phenomenon
Common Place
Common Pleas
Common Pleas, Pittsburgh, PA The Place For Uncommon Peas
Common Royalty
Common Sense
Common Sense Ain't Common [Will Rogers]
Common Sense Gun Control
Common Sense Hides Shame [Gaelic Proverb]
Common Sense Is Genius Dressed Up In Work Clothes [Ralph Waldo Emerson]
Common Sense In An Uncommon Degree Is What The World Calls Wisdom [S.T. Coleridge]
Common Sense Is Calculation Applied To Life [Henri Frederic Amiel]
Common Sense Is Experience & Prevision [Henri Frederic Amiel]
Common Sense Is Experience & Prevision, Not Perversion
Common Sense Is First Casualty In Any War, 'Second Is Free & Open Discussion' [J Reston]
Common Sense Is Genius In Homespun [Alfred Whitehead]
Common Sense Is Instinct & Enough Of It Is Genius [Josh Billings]
Common Sense Is Normally Not Desired In Greater Amount Than Now Possessed [Descartes]
Common Sense Is Not So Common [Voltaire]
Common Sense Is Not So Common, Maybe You Need Some Uncommon Common Sense
Common Sense Is Of All Things In The World The Most Equally Distributed [Descartes]
Common Sense Is On Ground Floor, Science Is For Upper Chamber [Oliver Wendell Holmes]
Common Sense Is The Collection Of Prejudices Acquired By Age Eighteen [Albert Einstein]
Common Sense Is The Measure Of The Possible [Henri Frederic Amiel]
Common Sense Is Very Uncommon [Horace Greeley]
Common Sense Is What Tells Us The Earth Is Flat & The Sun Goes Around It
Common Sense Isn't That Common [Kristin Accipiter]
Common Sense Minus Education Is 1000 Times Better Than Education Minus Common Sense
Common Sense Principles 'Should Transcend Partisan Differences' [Jimmy Carter]
Common Sense To Try It, 'If It Fails, Admit It Frankly & Try Another' [Franklin D. Roosevelt]
Common Sense Underwriting
Common Special
Common Things Uncommonly Well Done [H.J. Heinz]
Common Things Uncommonly Well-Done [H.J. Heinz Burnt Baked Beans]
Common Vampire Bat
Commonest Form Of Malnutrition In The Western World Is Obesity [Mervyn Deitel]
Commonest Sense Is The Sense Of Men Asleep, Which They Express By Snoring [Thoreau]
Communism Classes Became Unpopular Because Of The Lousy Marx
Communist Leader
90

Communist Party
Communist Reads Marx & Lenin, Anti-Communist Understands Marx & Lenin
Community Bands Together To Help Burn Victim's Family [Bay City Times]
Compactness Means No Matter How Far You Go, There You Are
Company Has Reached Rock Bottom & Has Started To Dig Down
Company Is Known By The People It Keeps
Company Is Known By The People It Keeps As Wage Slaves
Comparative Religion
Comparatively Unique
Compassion Is The Chief Law Of Human Existence [Fyodor Dostoyevsky]
Comparisons Are Odious
Compassionate Conservative [Coined By Author Doug Wead, Used By Bush II]
Compassionate Conservative Is An Oxymoron [Eric Berger]
Compassionate Dictator
Compassionate Editor
Compassionate Management
Compassionate Narcissist
Compensatory Alibi Law: Make Up Excuse For Todays Failure & It Will Happen Tomorrow
Competence Always Contains The Seed Of Incompetence
Competence, Like Truth, Beauty & Contact Lenses, Is In The Eye Of The Beholder [L. J. Peter]
Competent Court
Competent Failure
Competent Historian Can Make Any Past Event Appear Inevitable
Competent Infernals
Competent Jurisdiction
Competent Performance
Competent Testimony
Competitive Cooperation
Competitive Disadvantage
Competitive Wrestling
Complaining About Government Means We Have Freedom Of Speech [Nancie J. Carmody]
Complaining Is Good If Not Complaining To One You're Complaining About [Lynn Johnston]
Compleat Morons Guide To Oxymorons, Really!
Compleat Piers Anthony Advises Meaning Replete With 'Grandiose And/Or Humorous Claims'
Compleat Piers Anthony Website & Isaac Walton's 1653 The Compleat Angler, Being Examples
Complete Half
Complete Lack Of Caution Is Perhaps One Of True Signs Of A Real Gourmet [M.F.K. Fisher]
Complete Lack Of Evidence Is Surest Sign That The Conspiracy Is Working
Complete Possibility
Complete Selection
Complete Separation
Complete With Compleat References
Completed Research
Completed Website
Completely Destroyed
Completely Disorganized
91

Completely Educated
Completely Succinct
Completely Succinct In-Depth
Completely Unfinished
Completely Unprepared
Complex Problems Have Simple, Easy To Understand Wrong Answers
Complex System That Doesn't Work Came From A Simpler System That Worked Just Fine
Complex-Toothed Flying Squirrel
Complexity Is Not So Complex After All
Complicated Basics
Compost Happens
Compressing Largest Amount Of Words Into The Smallest Amount Of Thoughts [Churchill]
Compressing The Most Words Into The Smallest Idea [Abraham Lincoln]
Compromise Is Dividing The Pie So Each Party Believes He Got The Biggest Piece
Compulsory Volunteers
Computer Beat Me At Chess But Lost At Kick Boxing
Computer Biblical Mandate: But Let Your Communication Be Yea, Yea; Nay, Nay [Matthew 5:37]
Computer Biblical Mandate Continues: For Whatsoever Is More Than These Cometh Of Evil
Computer Brain
Computer Dating's OK Only If The Computers Really Love Each Other [Groucho Marx]
Computer Glitch
Computer Intelligence
Computer Jock
Computer Language With GOTO's, Is It Totally Wirth-Less?
Computer Made Me Do It
Computer Once Beat Me At Chess, But It Was No Match For Me At Kick Boxing [Emo Philips]
Computer Program Will Do What You Tell It, But Not What You Want It To Do
Computer Programers' Lingua Francas Are English & Profanity
Computer Science
Computer Security
Computer Tech Support
Computer Warning: We Do The Best We Can, But We're Only Programmed By Humans!
Computer Was Born To Solve Problems That Did Not Exist Before [Bill Gates]
Computer Will Do What You Tell It To Do, But Rarely What You Want It To Do
Computers & Air-Conditioners Both Stop Working If You Open Windows
Computers Are Unreliable, But Humans Are Even More Unreliable
Computers Are Useless, They Can Only Give You Answers [Pablo Picasso]
Computers Aren't Intelligent, They Just Think They Are
Computers Can't Figure Out Things That Just Don't Add Up
Computers In The Future Will Weigh No More Than 1.5 Tons [Popular Mechanics 1949]
Computers Make As Many Mistakes In Two Seconds As 20 Men In 20 Years
Computers Obey Orders Not Intentions
Computing Dating Is Fun, I Tried A Mainframe & A Laptop
Computing: Forecast Gathering Clouds, Followed By Cloudy, & Then Thick Cloud Cover
Con Artist
Con Ed Dig We Must! [Now Pass]
92

Con Ed Verse Com Ed - New York City Verse Chicago

Concealed Weapon, Hidden Gun; Either One Youre On The Run
Conceiving A Way To Get More Babies [Sydney Morning Herald]
Concepts Are Not ... To Be Integrated In Disregard Of Necessity [Ayn Rand]
Concepts Are Not To Be Multiplied Beyond Necessity [Ayn Rand]
Concerned People Trump Credentialed People All The Time
Concession Stand
Conciliation Court
Concise Dictionary
Conclusion Is Simply The Place Where The Author Got Tired Of Thinking
Conclusion Is The Place Where You Got Tired Of Thinking
Conclusion To This Weeks Unsolved Mystery Follows This Commercial
Conclusions Of Most Good Operations Research Studies Are Obvious
Conclusive Doubt
Concordia University Took Montreals Motto [Concordia Salus - Well-Being Thru Harmony]
Concordia University Nicknames Include Discordia University & Misericordia University
Concrete Galoshes
Concrete Pad
Concrete Variable
Condescending Sycophant
Condi [Bush II For Secretary Of State Condoleezza Rice]
Conditional Surrender
Conditionally Pre-Approved
Confidently Scared
Condom Is Glass Slipper Of Our Age, Slipped On When A Stranger You Gauge
Condom Is Now Super-Sensitive, Hangs Around Afterwards To Talk With Woman
Condoms Are De Rigueur For Every Conceivable Occasion
Condoms Don't Guarantee Safe Sex If Her Husband Packs An Unsheathed Gun
Condoms Should Be Used On Every Conceivable Occasion
Cone Of Cool [Dedicated To Jay]
Cone Of Silence [Get Smart]
Confession Is Good For The Soul But Bad For The Career & If Young The Rear
Confession May Be Good For The Soul, But Its Bad For The Reputation [Lord Thomas Dewar]
Confessional Truth
Confidence Is ... 'Much Sexier Than Any Body Part' Of A Woman [Aimee Mullins]
Confidence Is Sexiest Thing A Woman Can Have [Aimee Mullins]
Confidence Is The Feeling You Have Before You Really Understand The Problem
Confident Fear
Confidential Documents Hideout In Copiers
Confirmed Rumor
Conflict Kitchen [Cuisine Of Adversaries - Pittsburgh, PA]
Conflict Kitchen [Family Kitchen In Any Home , USA]
Conformity Is The Jailer Of Freedom & The Enemy Of Growth [John F. Kennedy]
Confucius Say Funny Quotes Are Not Confucius, They Make Sense - Sorta!
Confucius Say: He Who Eats Take Out Fortune Cookie Should First Take Out Fortune
Confucius Say: He Who Loses A Lover Is Better Than He Who Loves A Loser
93

Confucius Say: He Who Loves Everybody, Should Not Love Every Body
Confucius Say: He Who Makes Hole Happy, Makes Whole Body Holistically Happy
Confucius Say: He Who Makes Love On Grass Gets Piece On Earth Smoking Idea!
Confucius Say: He Who Talks With Lisp Walks With Lymph
Confucius Say: He Who Thinks By Inch & Talks By Yard Is Best Kicked By Foot
Confucius Sez: Confucius Confuciusing!
Confucius Sez: Confucius Say Much Too Much!
Confucius Sez: Those Who Quote Confucius Are Fools!
Confuse Them! Make Things Absolutely Clear
Confused As A Mosquito In A Mannequin Factory
Confusifying [Oz]
Confusion Is The Door That Wisdom Comes In Through
Confusion, Search For Guilty, Punishment Of Innocent, Distinction For Uninvolved
Congenital Disease
Congress Has Now Admitted 3 New States, The States Of Illusion, Delusion & Confusion
Congress Sets Low Standards For Itself & Consistently Fails To Achieve Them
Congressional Accountability
Congressional Action
Congressional Cooperation
Congressional Deliberation
Congressional Ethics
Congressional Oversight
Congressional Responsibility
Congressional Wisdom
Congressman Kickass [Bush II For John Sweeney, Republican Congressman, New York]
Congresswoman Shot At Safeway [Gabrielle Giffords, Arizona]
Conjunctivitis.Com, Thats A Site For Sore Eyes
Connect The Dots
Conscience Is What Hurts When All Your Other Parts Feel So Good
Conscience Never Stops You From Doing Anything, It Just Stops You From Enjoying It
Conscience Whispers, But Interest Screams Aloud [J. Petit-Senn]
Conscientious Capitalism
Conscientious Objector
Conscientious Stupidity [Martin Luther King, Jr.]
Conscious Sedation
Consciousness Is That Annoying Time Between Naps
Conscripted Volunteer
Consensual Divorce
Consensual Rape
Consent Degree
Consent Verdict
Consequences, Schmonsequences, As Long As I'm Rich [Chuck Jones]
Conservation Applies Common Sense To The Common Problems For The Common Good
Conservative Activist
Conservative Believes Nothing Should Be Done For The First Time [Alfred E. Wiggam]
Conservative Bias
94

Conservative Capitalist
Conservative Democrat
Conservative Democrat Is An Oxymoron [Gregory D. Lee]
Conservative Environmentalist -An Oxymoron [Steven F. Hayward]
Conservative Extremist Is An Oxymoron [Pjerin Lumaj]
Conservative Feminist
Conservative Feminist - Oxymoron [Angela Pattatucci Aragon]
Conservative Gamble
Conservative Government Is An Organized Hypocrisy [Benjamin Disraeli]
Conservative Has Two Perfectly Good Legs, But Never Learned To Walk Forward [FDR]
Conservative Intellectual
Conservative Investment
Conservative Is A Man Who Sits & Thinks, Mostly Sits [Woodrow Wilson]
Conservative Journalism - Oxymoron [Eric Boehlert]
Conservative Liberal
Conservative Liberalism, Combining Liberal Values With Conservative Stances
Conservative Logic - An Oxymoron [Madison S. Hughes]
Conservative Of This Century Is Last Centurys Liberal
Conservative Scholar - An Oxymoron [John Fasullo]
Conservative Revolution
Conservative Stock
Conservative Think Tank
Conservatives Are Ones Who Want What Liberals Fought For A Generation Ago
Conservatives Are Ones Who Would Have Fought Liberals A Generation Ago & They Did!
Conserve Water Or Go From One Ex-Stream To Another
Considerate Boss
Consistency Requires You To Be As Ignorant Today As You Were Yesterday [B. Berenson]
Consistent Conservative
Consistent Discrepancies
Consistent Liar
Consistent Uncertainties
Consistent Variability
Consistently Inconsistent
Consistently Random
Cosmetic Surgery Causes A Lot Of People To Turn Their Noses Up
Conspicuous Absence
Conspicuous Consumption
Conspicuous Sex
Conspicuously Absent
Conspicuously Miserable
Conspicuousness In Combat Draws Fire & Out Of Combat Draws Sergeants
Conspiracy Theories & Secret Societies For Dummies [Christopher Hodapp]
Constant Change
Constant Change Is Here To Stay
Constant Infrequent
Constant Liar
95

Constant Variable
Constantly Choosing The Lesser Of Two Evils Is Still Choosing Evil [Jerry Garcia]
Constants Aren't, Variables Don't
Constipated People Don't Give A Platypus Shit
Constipated Composer Couldn't Finish The Last Movement
Constipated Folk Don't Give A Crap
Constipated Folk Don't Give A Flying Crap
Constitution, A Reference Here Refers To U.S. Constitution & Numbers To Its Amendments
Constitution As To Freedom Says Only No Abridging The Freedom Of Speech Or Press [1st]
Constitution Enshrines The Notion That We Are All Created Equal [1789 - If A Free Man]
Constitution Enshrines The Notion That We Are All Created Equal [Obama Now True]
Constitution Is Like Bible, It Is All Too Often Misquoted, Misinterpreted & Misappropriated
Constitution Only Provides Not To Be Deprived Of Life, Liberty, Or Property [5 & 14]
Constitution Says, John Boehner Tells Tea Party We Hold These Truths To Be Self Evident
Constitution Says Life, Liberty & The Pursuit Of Happiness [Herman Cain - Wrong!]
Constitution Silent on Truths & Happiness, Their From Declaration Of Independence
Constitution To Only Secure Blessings Of Liberty To Ourselves & Our Posterity' [Preamble]
Constitution Transmittal Letter: Individuals Must Give Up Share Of Liberty To Preserve Rest
Constitution Transmittal Letter: To Secure The Freedom & Happiness Of Country So Dear
Constitutional Monarchy
Constitution's 'Inalienable Right' Of Pursuit Of Happiness [Rush Limbaugh - Wrong]
Constitution's Inalienable Right To Freedom Also Added To Constitution By Limbaugh
Constitution's Mention Of Freedom Only: No Abridging The Freedom Of Speech & Press [1]
Controller Watchdog Put The 'P' Back In The Comptroller's Office, Mmmmmmm!
Construction Worker
Construction Workers Do It With Protection
Constructive Ambiguity
Constructive Attitude
Constructive Criticism
Constructive Demolition
Constructive Negativity
Constructive Praise Is Almost As Unwanted As Constructive Criticism
Consultant Borrows Your Watch To Tell You Time & Then Keeps Watch [Robert Townsend]
Consultant Is An Ordinary Person A Long Way From Home
Consultants Are Expert In Giving Back With A Ribbon On It What You Gave Them
Consumer Awareness
Consumer Doesnt Know What He Wants Until We Make It [Steve Jobs Apple]
Contact Lost With The Mothership
Contemporary Artifact
Contemporary Classic
Contented Cows Give Best Milk & Make Best Laughing Stock
Continents Begin & Ends With Same Letter, Ignoring North & South, AA Being Most Popular
Contingency Plan
Contingent Agreement
Contingent Fee
Contingent Merger Agreement
96

Contingent Settlement
Contingent Verdict
Continued Victory
Continuing Flow Of Paper Is Sufficient Justification To Continue The Flow Of Paper
Continuing Phenomenon
Continuing Resolution
Continuing Uncovered Covert Coup Is Cuckoo
Continuous, Unflagging Effort, Persistence & Determination Will Win [James W. Riley]
Contra Aid
Contra Assistance
Contraception Is Prevented By Wearing A Condominium
Contraception That Is 100% Reliable Is Inconceivable, Except Abstention
Contract [Agreement]
Contract [Shrink]
Contract Our Contractual Arrangements
Contract Out
Contractionary Gap
Contra-Naturals [Amerinds]
Contraries [Amerinds]
Contrary Conclusion
Contrary Result Law: If You Try To Prove That Something Will Work, It Won't
Contrary To Popular Belief, I Know Exactly What Im Doing - Oops! [Iron Man II]
Control Man Has Over Nature Has Far Outrun His Control Over Himself [Ernest Jones]
Controlled Addiction
Controlled Burn
Controlled Chaos
Controlled Enthusiasm
Controlled Rage
Controlled Skeptic
Controlled Skeptic
Controlled Spontaneity
Controlled Substance
Controlled-Market Economy
Convenience Store
Convenient Coincidences Are Suspicious
Conventional Wisdom
Convergent Evolution
Conversational Story
Conversations With Brick Walls Are More Meaningful
Converse Contrary Result Law: If You Try To Prove That Something Won't Work, It Will
Converted Cannibal Is One Who, On Friday, Eats Only Fishermen [Emily Lotney]
Convictions Are More Dangerous Enemies Of Truth Than Lies [Nietzsche]
Conways Law: There Is One Person Who Knows What's Going On, Fire Him!
Cook Is Creative, Marrying Ingredients In The Way A Poet Marries Words [Roger Verge]
Cook Is Minister Of Heaven, His Kitchen A Temple, His Ovens The Altar [Marc Desaugiers]
Cook Me Up A Hamburger. I'll Pay You Thursday
97

Cook Was A Good Cook As Cooks Go, & As Cooks Go She Went [H.H. Munro]
Cooked My Goose
Cooked Sushi
Cookies Are Baked, Bacon Is Cooked
Cookies Are Made Of Butter & Love [Norwegian Proverb]
Cooking Credo: If At First You Don't Succeed, Order Pizza
Cooking Is Like Love, 'Entered Into With Abandon Or Not All' [Harriet Van Horne]
Cooking With Pooh, Yummy Tummy Cookie Cutter Treats [Winnie The Pooh, 1995]
Cooking's A Lot Like Making Love, Just Takes A Little Longer To Clean Up [Michael Tucker]
Cool Cal [Calvin Coolidge]
Cool Down
Cool Down In Cold Shower
Cool Man, Youre Quite A Gal
Cool Sex
Coopetition/Co-opetition, A Neologistic Portmanteau Of Cooperation & Competition
Coopetition Coined For Sealshipt Oyster Dealers Cooperating To Compete With Others [1911]
Coopetition - FTC Induced Google CEO Resignation To Stop Competitors Sharing Info [2009]
Coopetition - FTC Induced Google CEO To Resign From Apple Board For Antitrust Reasons
Coopetition-When, E.G., Companies Cooperate On Research & Compete For Market Share
Cooperative Competition [ Coopetition]
Cooperative Multitasking
Cooperative Panic [Nathaniel Philbrick - Bunker Hill]
Coopertition/Co-opertition See Coopetition/Co-opetition
Coors' Slogan 'Turn It Loose In Spanish Reads 'Suffer From Diarrhea'
Cop A Cop
Cop A Fag
Cop A Fag's Fag
Cop A Feel
Cop A Feel Friday
Cop Became School Bus Driver To Put His Troubles Behind Him
Cop Copped A Feel, Cuddling Her
Cop Copped It On Way To Evidence Room
Cop It
Cop Who Bagged Judge In Crooks Costume Learned 'Never To Book A Judge By His Cover'
Cop Who Copped A Feel & Felt She Had No Pulse Felt Crappy He Had Felt Up A Corpse
Copafeelist Craig Kilborn [Alleged], Original The Daily Show Host
Copafelia Abounds On Inbound New York City Subway Trains
Copafeliacs Vs. Copafeelist, Doubles - Love, Two, New Set
Copernicium, Short-Lived Artificially Produced Radioactive Element Named For Copernicus
Copier Blinds Me Every Time I Follow Its Instructions To Put Face Down
Copped A Feel & Was Slapped As It Wasn't Yet Cop A Feel Friday
Copped A Feel Of Cop's Codpiece And Then She Copped It
Copper-Nickel Silver Dollar
Cops Against Hops [Dances Or Beer?]
Copy 'N Paste Is Made To Ruin Every Last Bit Of Originality
Copy From One, It's Plagiarism, Copy From Two, It's Research
98

Copyrighted Fake
Conquering Without Danger Is Triumph Without Glory [Pierre Corneille]
Cordless Phones For Loud Boisterous Conversations, Phoneless Cords For Peace & Quiet
Corduroy Pillows Are Making Headlines!
Corduroy Suit
Core Competency Is Competency
Core Competency Of Competent Is Competency
Corkage Fee Charged For Screw-Top Bottles Should This Be A Screwage Fee?
Corn & Cluck For A Buck [Kentucky Fried Chicken]
Corn Beef & Carnage In Cabbage [Cabot] Cove [Murder She Wrote]
Corn Is A Necessary, Silver Is Only A Superfluity [Adam Smith]
Corn Is Ear Today Gone Tomorrow
Corn Is Too Starchy To Eat! Burn It!
Corn Is Too Valuable To Burn! Eat It!
Corn Shortage, An 'Amaizing' Shucking Disaster [Colbert Report]
Corn Thieves Charged With Stalking
Corn-Tinue [Li'l Abner]
CorpLaw Commentaries [Barry J. Lipson]
Corporal Condemned To Corporal Punishment Sought Gentler General Court-Martial Verdict
Corporate Blog
Corporate Conscience
Corporate Culture
Corporate Ethics
Corporate Family
Corporate Free Speech [Artificial Entity With Natural Entitys Right Of Free Speech]
Corporate Planning
Corporate Raiders: Gingrich Characterized Mitt Romney As 'King Of Bain ... Corporate Raiders'
Corporate Raiders Orchestrate Hostile Takeovers Of Companies, Quite Often To Gut Then!
Corporate Responsibility
Corporation, Even If It Be A Person, Its Still Non-Corporeal & A Legal Fiction [BJL]
Corporations Are Artificial Creatures Borne Of The State, Not Real People Borne Of A Mother!
Corporations Have Been Accused Of Inhibiting The Cream From Rising To The Top
Corporations Have Neither Bodies Nor Souls, So How Does The First Amendment Apply?
Corporations Have Neither Bodies To Be Kicked, Nor Souls To Be Damned [William Gouge]
Corpse Sat Up
Corpse Sat Up A Bit To Bite My Back
Corpse Was Prettier In Death Than In Life
Correct Error
Correct Me If I'm Wrong Conveys The Misconception 'Tell Me What You Think'
Correct Me If I'm Wrong Really Means 'I'm Right - Don't Contradict Me'
Correctional Facilities
Correctional Institution
Correctional Rehabilitation
Corrupt Official
Corrupt Official Couple Slain - Police Suspect Homicide
Corrupted Timer
99

Cosmetic Surgery
Cosmology Is In Chaos
Cost Effective
Cost Of Being Poor Rising [Denver Post]
Cost Of Living Hasn't Affected Its Popularity
Cost Of lying
Cost Of lying
Cost Savings
Cotisuelto, Caribbean Spanish For One Who Wears His Shirt Tail Outside Of His Trousers
Cotton Candy
Cotton Growers Allegedly Lobbied For Banning Of Marijuana To Banish Hemp Competition
Couch Potato
Cougar, A Lioness Mounted By Studs
Cougar, Large American Feline Resembling A Lion
Cougar, Older Woman Lying With Much Younger Men
Cougar Town Envisions The Labia As The La Brea Tar Pits, Or Visa Versa?
Cougar Town Promotes LGBT Sandwiches [Lettuce, Guacamole, Bacon & Tomato]
Cougar Town Promotes LGBT Sandwiches - Any Volunteers To Be The Filling?
Cougar, Women At Least 40 Who Pursue Men More Than Eight Years Their Junior
Could Be Worse, I Could Be Sting [Ozzy Osbourne]
Could Crop Circles Be The Work Of A Cereal Killer?
Couldn't Fight Way Out Of A Paper Bag
Couldn't Find Their Own Butt With Two Hands & A Road Map
Couldn't Find Way Out Of A Paper Bag
Couldnt Get Laid In A Whore House With A $1000 Bill Taped To His Forehead [Las Vegas]
Couldn't Hit The Floor If He Fell On It
Coulrophobia - Fear Of Clowns, Evil Or Benign, Marvel Or Swine!
Counselors & Psychiatrists Have Great Jobs, They Get Paid To Pretend They Give A Crap
Count Your Age With Friends But Not With Years
Count Your Blessings
Countable Infinity
Counter-Culture, An Antagonistic Alternative To The Established Culture
Counter Culture, Pittsburgh Post Gazette's Countertop Reports Of Restaurants, Diners & Bars
Counter Reformation
Counter Trends
Counterfactual Happening
Counterfactual Situation
Counting Binary Is Like Counting Decimal If You're All Thumbs
Counting Octal Is Like Counting Decimal If You're Thumbless
Countless Numbers
Country Can Only Be Good Place For Any Of Us, If It Is A Good Place For All Of Us [T. R.]
Country Club Prison
Country Life
Country Music
Country Techno
Count's Butler's Left Arm Was Missing, Served Him Right
100

County Invited To Waste Day Planning Meeting [Oceana's Herald-Journal]

County To Pay $250,000 To Advertise Lack Of Funds [Eugene Register-Guard]
Coup D' at - Sudden Overthrow Of A Diet By Illegal Or Forcefully Tempting Foods
Coup D' tat - Sudden Overthrow Of A Government, Illegally &/Or By Force
Coup That Is Known In Advance Is A Coup That Does Not Take Place
Couple Of Months In The Laboratory Can Save Couple Of Hours In The Library
Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide [Monterey Herald Sun]
Couple Watched DVDs Back To Back As Form Of Bundling, Turning Hourly To View Screen
Couple Who Crossed LSD With Birth Control Pills Got A Trip Without The Kids
Courage Built A Bridge, Jealousy Tore It Down [REM]
Courage Doesn't Always Roar [Mary Anne Radmacher]
Courage Is An Angel, The Difference Between A Good Life & A Great Life [Fairly Legal]
Courage Is Being Afraid But Going On Anyhow
Courage Is Believing 'Something Else Is More Important Than Fear' [Ambrose Redmoon]
Courage Is Like Love, It Must Have Hope For Nourishment [Napoleon Bonaparte]
Courage Is Resistance To Fear, Mastery Of Fear, Not Absence Of Fear [Mark Twain]
Courage Is Speaking For Freedom While Faced With Tyranny
Courage Is The Art Of Being The Only One Who Knows You Are Scared To Death
Courage Is What It Takes To Stand Up & Speak & To Sit Down & Listen [Winston Churchill]
Couragelessness is Speaking For Tyranny While Living In Freedom
Course Of True Love Never Did Run Smooth
Court Barber Asks King How To Cut His Hair? In Silence' [Philogelos 300-400AD]
Court Rulings, Deficits May Put Athletics In Red [Daily Evergreen], Or Moving To Boston
Courtesy Call
Courtesy Towing
Courtroom
Courts Are To Protect The Spine Of America That Politicians Won't [Meet The Press]
Courtship Is To Marriage As Very Witty Prologue Is To Very Dull Play [Wm Congreve]
Cover Me, Im Changing Lanes [Bumper Sticker]
Covered Bridge
Covered Congress & Hurricanes, Reporter Reported, Which Are Often Confused
Covered Up Concussion Risks - Helmets Used To Do So? [NFL]
Cow Confided I Was Artificially Inseminated - No! It's True, No Bull!
Cow Is Of The Bovine Ilk, One End Is Moo, The Other Milk [Ogden Nash]
Cow Kicked Nelly In The Belly In The Barn, But Doctor Said It Would Do No Harm
Cow Patty [Oxy Stepped In This One]
Cow Pie [Ditto]
Cowabunga! [Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]
Coward Is A Hero With A Wife, Kids & A Mortgage [Marvin Kitman]
Coward Is One Who In A Perilous Emergency Thinks With His Legs [Ambrose Bierce]
Cowardly Hero
Cowardly Lion
Cowards Are Threatened When They Are Safe
Cowards Die Many Times, Heroes Die But Once
Cowards Die Many Times Before Their Deaths, The Valiant Die But Once [Shakespeare]
Cowards Thinks With Their Legs, Then Too, So Do Heroes
101

Cowboy
Cowboy Diplomacy
Cowboy Reaching For His Gun Drew A Blank
Cowboys & Aliens, Wide-Open Spacers & Outer Spacers [2011]
Cowboys & Aliens, Wrangler & Wetbacks
Cowrie Or Cowry Shell: Fertility Symbol, Thought To Resemble The Female Genitalia
Cows That Moo Most Give The Least Milk
COYOTE ["Call Off Your Old Tired Ethics"]
Coyote, A Criminal Entrepreneur Who Illegally Smuggles Wetbacks Across Boarder
Coyote: Canis Latrans, Wolf-Like Wild Dog Native To North America & Sleazy Bars
Coyote Gnaws Off Leg To Escape Steel-Jaw Trap In Topanga Canyon [LA Times, 1988]
Coyote: Nasty, Ugly, Or Older Gal Who Didn't Look At All Bad The Night Before
Coyote, Nasty Or Ugly Gal You'd Rather Chew Your Arm Off Then Wake Up Next To
Coyote Ugly: NYC Bar Which Spawned Multiple Franchises & 2000 Movie Based On It
Crack Case
Crack Fix
Crack Found In Man's Buttocks [Headline]
Crack Pipe
Cracker, A Cone Cracking Bird From Bhutan
Cracker Barrel Wisdom Is Better If You Bring Something To The Cracker Barrel [B.J. Lipson]
Cracker, Manipulator Of Joint Producing Sharp Popping /Cracking Sound Thru Release Of Gas
Cracker: Redneck Or Poor White From Appalachia Or The Southern United States
Craft Beer
Crap Is Crap (US) - Zevel Ze Zevel (Israel) [Ziva - NCIS]
Crash Landing
Crashed Jet May Have Flown Too Low [AP]
Crayola Indian Red, However, Referred To An Asian Indian Pigment!
Crayola, Being Politically Correct, Changed Flesh To Peach & Indian Red To Chestnut
Crazy Crowned Clowns
Crazy Kraut's Crackers! Crashed In & Crassly Tried To Kill Us! What Alliteration! [Producers]
Crazy Putty
Crazy Sound
Crazy, Stupid, Love Is Funny, Schmaltzy, Charming, Reviewer Says
Crazy, Stupid, Love Is Smeared With Chicken Fat, Rebbe Says
Cream Does Not Rise To The Top In Business Or Government
Cream Soda
Creation Is Only The Projection Into A Form That Already Exists [Shrimad Bhagavatan]
Creation Science
Creationism
Creative Destruction [Mikhail Bakunin]
Creative Motivated By Desire To Achieve, Not Desire To Beat Others [Ayn Rand]
Creative Person Compared To The Average Person [Dr. Frank Barron]
*Creative Person Is Both A Lot Madder & A Lot Saner
*Creative Person Is Both More Destructive & More Constructive
*Creative Person Is Both More Primitive & More Cultivated
Creative Process
102

Creativity Is Allowing Yourself To Make Mistakes

Creativity Is The Sudden Cessation Of Stupidity
Creativity Varies Inversely With The Number Of Cooks Involved With The Broth
Credit Crunch
Credit To The Bureaucracy, Debit To The Nation
Creditable, Incredible Or Incredulous?
Creditably Incredible
Creditably Increditable
Creech Airman Beating Victim [Las Vegas Review Journal]
Creek Dont Rise [Indians Not Stream, Some Scream]
Creeping Crud
Creeping Deflation
Creeping Deflorations
Creeping Incrementalism
Creeping Inflation
Crest Of Slump Reached As Undertow Pulls Company Down Into Depths Of Downturn
Crested Honeycreepers*
Cretin, Stealing From The Library Prevents Anyone Else From Reading That Book [P. Anthony]
Crew Cut
Crew Reduction
Crew Review
Crime & Punishment
Crime Capital
Crime Doesn't Pay
Crime Doesn't Pay - Does That Mean My Job Is A Crime?
Crime Doesn't Pay, Neither Does Much Else
Crime Fighters Fight Crime, Fire Fighters Fight Fire, Therefore Freedom Fighters Fight .......?
Crime King
Crime Prevention
Crimestop, Ridding Oneself Of Unwanted Anti-Party Thoughts To Avoid Thoughtcrime [1984]
Crimethink, A Thoughtcrime Or Thought Not Approved By Party [1984]
Criminal Cop
Criminal Government
Criminal Intent
Criminal Justice
Criminal Justice System
Criminal Law
Criminal Lawyer
Criminal Lawyer Is A Redundancy
Criminal Management
Criminal Mastermind
Criminal Negligence
Criminal Rights
Criminal System
Criminal Trial Jury Out Over 24 Hours Will Acquittal, Save When 12 Jurors Votes Guilty
Criminals Best Asset Is His Lie Ability
103

Crisis Is A Terrible Thing To Waste! [George Will - Republican Agenda]

Crisis Management
Crisis Mismanagement
Crisis Of Confidence [Jimmy Carter]
Crisis Or The Illusion Thereof Is Necessary To Cause Action To Be Taken
Crisis Theory
Crisis? What Crisis?
Crisis? What Crisis? - Said The Ostrich To The Hare As The Wild Dogs Pounced
Crisis When Real Is Incapable Of Being Recognized By Those In Charge
Crisis Will Be Generated To Upgrade Urgency & Then Over-Reacted To
Crispy Cream
Criss Cross, A Book In Which Nothing Happens & Everything Happens [NPR]
Crisscross
Crisscrossed Doings Of Rap Duo Kris Kross
Critic Is A Bundle Of Biases Held Loosely Together By A Sense Of Taste [Whitney Balliett]
Critical Acclaim
Critical Praise
Criticizing Is Easy, Art Is Difficult
Crocheting Adventures With Hyperbolic Planes [Daina Taimina]
Crocked Crook Croaked
Crocodiles Cannot Give Bronx Cheers As Their Tongue Are Stuck In Their Mouths
Crony Capitalism
Crony Capitalism, Corporate: Obama Has Shown Us Cronyism On Steroids [Palin]
Crony Capitalism, Corporate: Expend Taxpayer Dollars To Bail Out Corporate Cronies [Palin]
Crony Capitalism: 'Rick Perry Is Crony Capitalism On Steroids' Rewarding 'Cronies' [Palin]
Crony Capitalism: Sarah, Does Obama & Perry Crony Up With The Same Steroids Pusher?
Crooked Cop
Crooked Crook Straightened Up
Crooked Mile
Crooked Mind
Crooked Politician
Crooked Road
Crooked Smile
Crooner Broke Off His Song When He Couldn't Find The Key
Cropped-Delta Wing F-16 Fighting Falcon Was Winged By Iraqi Anti-Aircraft Battery
Cross At The Green Inbetweener For Getting In-Between The Crossing Bevy Of Boys
Cross At The Green, Not In-Between
Cross-Eyed Dyslexic Can Read All Right
Cross-Eyed Dyslexic Has Perfect Vision
Cross-Eyed Teacher Lost Her Job Because She Couldn't Control Her Pupils
Crossing Dinosaur With Pig Gives You 'Jurassic Pork'
Crossing The Rubicon Means Crossing Over The Point Of No Return
Crossing The Rubicon Was Crossing In Caesar's Times From Italy Into Gaul, An Act Of War
Crossword Addict Was Buried Six Down & Three Across
Crossword Puzzle Created In 1890 Italy By Giuseppe Airoldi To Pass The Time
Crossword Puzzle Reemerged In 1913 New York World With Arthur Wynne's Word-Cross
104

Crossword Puzzler Wynne Had Cross Words When Not Paid $$$$ Down & Many More Across
Crows Nest
Crowded Crows Crowed Squawkously
Crowded Elevators Smell Different To Midgets
Crowded Room
Crowded Space
Crowded Spaces
Crowdstopper [Durex Condoms]
Crowed With Joy
Crown Of Gold
Crown Of Lamb
Crown Of Thorns
Crowned Clowns
Crucial Memo Will Be Snared By Paper Clip Of Another Paper & Lost In Files
Cruel Joke
Cruel Kindness [Shakespeare]
Cruel To Be Kind
Cruelest Lies Are Often Told In Silence!
Crumpet Strumpet Trumpeted Trumpery
Crumpet Strumpet, Comely Yet Crummy, Concocted Crumpling Crumpets & Crumb Cakes
Crusader Rabbit
Crusades
Crusades Saw No Gentle Gentiles
Crust Eaten In Peace Better Than A Banquet Partaken In Anxiety [Aesop]
Crying Is Blackmail
Cryocaustic
Cuban Healthcare
Cuban Squares & Rubes Speak Cubic Instead Of Spanish
Cubicle Is Just A Padded Cell Without A Door
Cultural Overindulgences
Culturally Regressive Trailblazer Is Oxymoronic [Slate]
Cultured Animal
Cultures That Ignore History Have No Past & No Future
Cunnilingualist Appears In Urban Dictionary Above Cuntus Deliciosus
Cunnilingus Cumulation
Cunning Linguist [007]
Cunning Linguist & Cunnilingualist Cannot Be Tongue-Tied
Cunning Linguist Always Gets His Licks In [Rain Bojangles]
Cunning Stunts [Rock Album]
Cunt Cap: A Dysphemism For The Military Garrison, Campaign, Overseas Or Side Cap
Cunt Cap: Like The Cowrie Shell Was Thought To Resemble The Female Genitalia
Cunt Cap Or C-Cap: Also Flight, Fore-&-Aft, & Envelope Cap, Piss-Cutter & The Flat Hat
Cunt-Eyed, Either Any Guy Or Any Mongoloid
Cupboard
Cupid Stunt [Kenny Everetts BBC Movie Starlet]
Cure For Boredom In Curiosity, There Is No Cure For Curiosity [Dorothy Parker]
105

Curiosity Killed The Cat [CKTC]

Curiosity Killed The Cat, But For A While, I Was A Suspect
Curiosity Killed The Cat, But Healthy Humans Curiosity Only Kills Ignorance [Harry Lorayne]
Curiosity Killed The Cat, But In This Case, Curiosity Made The Cat Rich [Jron Magcale]
Curiosity Killed The Cat, Or Was It Curtiosity Or Curteousy Killed The Cat
Curiosity Killed The Cat, Satisfaction Brought It Back
Curiosity Often Leads To Trouble [Alice]
Curious Paradox, When I Accept Myself Just As I Am, Then I Can Change [Carl Rogers]
Current Backup Copy Of Anything Is Always One Generation Too Old
Current Currant Crop
Current History
Current Status
Curse You! You Shall Remember That Which You Need T Forgotten!
Curved Line
Custards Last Stand [Soft Ice Cream Stand, Camp Horn Road, Pittsburgh ]
Custers Last Stand
Customer Is Always Right
Customer Is Always Right, But Not Always Pleasant
Customer Is Always Right, Now Remind Customer Service Of This!
Customer Satisfaction
Customer Service
Customer Support
Customized Form Letter
Customized Template
Cut, Cap & Balance; Or Duck, Dodge & Dismantle? [Dem Counter - Debt Ceiling]
Cut, Cap & Balance; Or How About: Castrate, Decapitate & Blockade?
Cut Here
Cut Him Off At The Knees If He Hits You Below The Belt
Cut Him Off At The Knees When He Hits You Below The Belt, But Don't Belt Him!
Cut It Out Clip That Coupon
Cut It Out Stop That!
Cut My Pie Into Four Pieces, I Dont Think I Could Eat Eight [Yogi Berra]
Cut Off At The Knees
Cut That Jibba Jabba! [Mr. T + A-Team]
Cut The Cheese
Cut The Crappio, Sappio
Cut The Pizza Into Four Slices, I'm Not Hungry Enough To Eat Six [Yogi Berra]
Cut Your Coat To Suit Your Cloth
Cute & Interesting Are Two Different Things
Cute Dog
Cutting Space Budget Eliminates Dreams, Goals, & Ideals [Johnny Hart]
Cutting Word Worse Than Knife, Cut Heals, But Cuts By Tongue Dont [African Proverb]
Cyclone Assemblyman [Theodore Roosevelt]
Cyclone Derives Its Powers From A Calm Center - So Does A Person [Norman Vincent Peale]
Cyclops
Cyclops Spectacles Oops! Cyclops Spectacle
106

Cyclops Surely Makes A Spectacle Of Himself

Cyclops, Shouldnt It Be Cyclop?
Cyclops Thinking Odysseus Nobody Yells Help, Nobody Attacks! Nobody Helps! [800BC]
Cynic Knows Price Of Everything, But The Value Of Nothing [Oscar Wilde]
Cynic Searches For An Honest Man With A Stolen Lantern [Edgar A. Shoaff]
Cynicism Is An Unpleasant Way Of Saying The Truth [Lillian Hellman]
Cynics Are Right 9 Times Out Of 10, Their Undoing Is They Believe Its 10 Out Of 10
Cypher: A Mathematical Calculation Or Computation [A/K/A Cipher]
Cypher & Cypher, Accountants [Canonsburg, Pa]
Cypher: Message Written In A Secret Code
Cypher: Number Added To Another Number That Yields The Same Number [0+0=0; 1+0=1]
Cypher: Number, Thing Or Person Of No Value, Importance Or Influence
Cyrus The Great Proclaims, Of Jerusalem, 'Let It Be Rebuilt' [Isaiah 44:28 - Circa 537 BCE]
Cyrus The Great Proclaims, Of The Temple, 'Let Its Foundations Be Laid' [Isaiah 44:28]

D
D-Day & H-Hour, But Sea Change
Da Plane Boss, Da Plane! [Tattoo - Fantasy Island]
Dad Shower
Dad To 7 Year Old Daughter: Im Becoming A Mom Reply: No, No, Become A Cat!
Dad Was A Workaholic, Every Time Someone Mentioned Work He Got Drunk
Dadchelor Party
Daddy, Being Hard Surprised, As You Have Hardly Been Hard Though You Tried Hard
Daddy, Being Late Thanks To You Being Hard Has Lately Been Keeping Me Up Late
Dagnabit You Maggot
Daily Beast Eats Newsweek
Daily Show Dark Weekends
Daily Special
Daisy: I Was Returning A Book. Bones: And Your Pants Fell Off? [Bones]
Daisy Air Rifles, Keeping Kids Off Your Lawn Since 1866!
Dallas Crude - Oil; Chicago Crude - Oily Characters
Dalmatians Playing Hide & Seek Are Always Spotted
Dam! Said Fish Crashing Into Underwater Stone Wall
Damaged Goods
Dame That Knows The Ropes Isn't Likely To Get Tied Up [Mae West]
Damn Big Dam [Time 1931]
Damn G, Check Out That Fine Bootay!
Damn Wakely Dam Ultra [NYS 2001-2010]
Damn With Faint Praise
Damned Good
Damned Saint
Damp Dry [Dryer Setting]
Damsel In Distress Is A Distressing Damsel
Dan The Man [Bush II For Deputy Chief Of Staff Dan Bartlett]
Dance Daddy Dance, Nobody Cares If You Can't Dance Well
107

Dance Like No Ones Watching

Dance With No Pants
Dance With The Devil In The Pale Moon Light [Batman]
Dancer Goes Quick On Lustrous Legs, Duck Goes Quack On Lustrous Eggs
Dancing Cheek-To-Cheek
Dancing Cheek-To-Cheek Is Really A Form Of Floor Play
Dancing Cheek-To-Cheek Is Floor Play, Its Outer Persuasion For Inner Invasion
Dancing Is A Perpendicular Expression Of A Horizontal Desire [George Bernard Shaw]
Dancing Is A Vertical Preamble To A Horizontal Scramble
Danger Of Past Was Men Became Slaves, Of Future Is Men May Become Robots [E. Fromm]
Dangerous To Be Right When The Government Is Wrong [Voltaire]
Dangerously Over-Medicated
Dangerously Medicated
Dangerously Safe
Dangerously Under-Medicated
Dank [Marijuana]
Danny Boy [Bush II For Deputy Chief Of Staff Dan Bartlett]
Dare You To Lick Your Elbow! Too Bad, It's Impossible!
Darius Had 2nd Temple Completed Exactly 10 Weeks Of Years After First Destroyed [416 BC]
Dark Ages In The Future May 'Be Thought Of As Including Our Own' [Georg Lichtenberg]
Dark Angel
Dark Chocolate - But Not Milk Chocolate - 'Is A Potent Antioxidant' [Mauro Serafini, PhD]
Dark Chocolate - Not White Chocolate - 'Lowers High Blood Pressure' [Dirk Taubert, MD]
Dark Comedy
Dark Day
Dark Decent All The Way To The Top [American Dad]
Dark Dirt Is Attracted To Light Things & Light Dirt To Dark Things
Dark Knight
Dark Knight, Hes Bats, Hes The Batman! [2008]
Dark Light
Dark Night
Dark Shadows [Black & White 1966 TV]
Dark Spot
Dark Star
Dark Victory
Dark-Skinned White
Darkest Hour Is Just Before The Dawn
Darkness Visible [John Milton]
Darky, Term Of Endearment? [Kennedy, Nigger: Strange Career Of A Troublesome Word]
Darwin Had The Gall To Ask [REM]
Data, Data, Data. I Cannot Make Bricks Without Clay [Sherlock Holmes 2009]
Data Mining
Date Rape
Date Rape Drug
Dawn Crept Silently Across The Emerging Skywalk, Searching For Her Lost Kia Keys
Dawn Is Natures Way Of Telling You To Go To Bed
108

Day After Pill

Day After Tomorrow Is The Third Day Of The Rest Of Your Life [George Carlin]
Day & Night
Day Dreams
Day Firing Becomes Easy Is The Day To Fire Yourself [Tom Peters]
Day Of Worry Is More Exhausting Than A Week Of Work
Day, Play, We Play All Day; Night, Fight, We Fight All Night [Dr. Seuss]
Day Without Love Is A Day Without Life [George Van Valkenburg]
Day Without Orange Juice Is Like A Day Without Sunshine [Florida Citrus Commission]
Day Without Sunshine Is Like A Day In Seattle
Day Without Sunshine Is Like Night
Daydream Is A Meal At Which Images Are Eaten [W. H. Auden]
Daydreams, Some Gourmet, Some Gourmand, Many With Images Out Of A Can [W. Auden]
Daylight Savings Time
Daylight Savings: You Spring Forward In Spring & Fall Back In Fall. Wheres The Catch?
Days Night
Days Of The Digital Watch Are Numbered, Days Of Analog Watch Are Numberless
Days Of The Pocket Diary Are Numbered
DBTY, Rule For Business Success, Dress British, Think Yiddish [Peter Singer]
DC Earthquake Attributed Governmental Fault
DC Is A Place Where Questions Are Asked Rather Than Answered
De-Accession Euphemisms
De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da [The Police]
Dead Again
Dead Batteries Available Here Free Of Charge
Dead Body
Dead Deal
Dead Deal, Deal With It Deadbeat!
Dead Drunk
Dead Fish Can Float Downstream, But It Takes A Live One To Swim Upstream [W. C. Fields]
Dead Growth
Dead Language
Dead Like Me [TV]
Dead Livestock
Dead Man Standing
Dead Man Walking
Dead Men Have No Tails
Dead Men Have No Tales
Dead Men Tell No Tales
Dead Man Ignored Police Order [Arizona Republic]
Dead Man Walking [Movie]
Dead Man Walking - Dead Man Shoplifting [Ghost Whisperer]
Dead-Man's-Fingers
Dead-Man's Float
Dead Metaphor
Dead Or Alive
109

Dead Outnumber The Living & Their Numbers Are Increasing [Eugene Ionesco]
Dead Owls Don't Give A Hoot
Dead People's Things For Sale [Antiques Shop Sign]
Dead Presidents, Any Denomination Of Federal Reserve Note, Thou Hamilton & Franklin Aren't
Dead Presidents Buy Lively Evening
Dead Reckoning
Dead Right
Dead Ringer
Dead Sea
Dead Set
Dead Silent
Dead Skunk In The Middle Of The Road
Dead Spirits
Dead Time
Dead To The World
Dead Tree Edition Is Dysphemism For Print Or Paper Edition Of An Online Magazine
Dead Weight
Deadbeat
Deadbolt
Deadlines I Love, The Whooshing Sound They Make As They Fly By Thrills Me
Deadpan
Deadwood
Deadly Blessing
Deadly Nightshade
Deadly Sin
Deadsville
Deaf & Dumb
Deaf As A Post
Deaf College Opens Doors To Hearing [Headline - Hearing Unimpaired Or Investigation?]
Deaf Folk Have Fax Sex, Phone Sex By Fax
Deaf Language
Deaf Listener
Deaf Ministry Holds Silent Auction [Headline]
Deaf-Mute
Deaf-Piano Tuner
Deafening Silence
Deals with competitors last only as long as it takes to send a text message!
Dear Applicant or Current Resident
Dear Current Resident
Dear I Only Sleep With You, All The Others Kept Me Up All Night
Dear Name or Current Resident
Dear Occupant
Dear Old Newfoundland
Dearest Enemy [Shakespeare]
Death Benefit
Death Benefits
110

Death Doesn't Deter Students From Drinking [The Roanoke Times]

Death Had You By The Twins
Death Is A Major Disease Associated With Smoking
Death Is Hereditary
Death Is No Concern As When Death Exists We Do Not [Epicurus]
Death Is No Concern As When We Exist Death Does Not [Epicurus]
Death Is Only The Beginning [Sherlock Holmes 2009]
Death Of Cash If Debt Limit Crashed
Death Penalty Creates Irreversible Error
Death Penalty Deters Deaths
Death Penalty Is Creature Of An Immature Vengeful Society
Death Penalty Prevents Death
Death Valley
Debits To The Wall, Credits To The Window
Debits To The Wall, Credits To The Window, So Long As Desk Remains Unmoved!
Debt Ceiling Floored In Congress
Debt Free
Debt Free Angels
Debt Free, Available At No Charge!
Debt Free Cash Free
Debt Free Scream
Debt Is Forever If You Can't Budge It
Debt Monkey
Debts On The Ceiling & Im On The Floor
Debug Is Human, 'De Fix Divine
Debugged Program
Debutante Ball
Decaf, I Don't Understand It, It's Like Sex Without The Sex [A.C. Van Cherub]
Decaf Is Like Masturbating With An Oven Mitt! [Robin Williams]
Decaffeinated Coffee
Decaffeinated Espresso
December Is Here Before Its June [Dr. Seuss
Decent Lawyer
Decibels Of This Disenchanting Discourse Continue To Dampen The Day [White Discussion]
Decided To Take A Wife, I Just Haven't Decided Whose Yet
Deciders Making The Decisions On Behalf Of Americans [The Decider George W. Bush]
Decidophobia Prime Congressional Phobia, The Fear Of Making Decisions
Decision: Best Is Right Thing, Next Best Is Wrong Thing & Worst Is Nothing [T. Roosevelt]
Decision By Committee
Decisions MUST Be Made, Right Or Wrong, Or Worse Consequences May Follow! [BJL]
Deck Us All With Boston Charlie [Pogo]
Declare It A Success &Move On To The Next Project [Barry J. Lipson]
Declared The 2nd, Dated The 4th, Signed Over The Next Several Months. Who Am I?
Declared The 2nd Of July, Declaration Of Independence, Dated July 4, 1776 [ Todd DePastino]
Declining Enrolment [Sic.] Makes Lincoln Classes Smaller [IronHerder Header]
Deconstruct Reconstruction
111

Deep Down, Im Really Superficial

Deep, Persistent Problems Never Solved By Accident, Only By People Obsessed With Them
Deeper High
Deeply Shallow
Deeply Superficial [Andy Warhol]
Deer Crossing
Deer Crossing Sign Buckled By Buck
Deer Kill 17,000 [Headline - The Hunters Or The Hunted?]
Deer Shelter
Default, Action Or Inaction Caused By The Fault Of Inactivity
Default, Some Say From The Colloquial De Fault Wid Dis System Is You, Mon
Defeat Is Not Bitter Unless You Swallow It [Joe Clark]
Defeat Is Temporary, Giving Up Permanent
Defeat Isn't Defeat Unless Accepted It As A Reality In Your Own Mind [Bruce Lee]
Defective Tate Compasses Gave Rise To Lament 'He Who Has A Tate's Is Lost'
Defense Of Marriage Act (DOMA): Shucks, Shoulda Signed It Wid Disappearing Ink [Clinton]
Defensive Attack
Defensive Driving
Defensive Strike
Defensive Tackle
Defensive Weapon
Defiant Maybe
Deficiencies Will Never Show Themselves During Dry Runs
Deficit Spending
Definite Maybe
Definite No
Definite No-Go
Definite No-No
Definite Perhaps [Samuel Goldwyn]
Definite Possibility
Definite Probability
Definitely No
Definition Of True Genius Is Nudist With Memory For Faces
Deflouring: Enabling Ability To Have Bun Put In Oven, Not Removing Ability To Bake
Deflouring: Removing Impediment To Ability To Earn Bread On Ones Career
Deflowering: Opening New Row To Hoe, Not Cutting Head Off Flower [See Deflouring]
Defrosting The Fridge Took All Night, Or Foreplay As She Calls It
Degradable Plastic
Degree Of Certitude [Degr De Certitude]
Degree Of Certitude: Any, Reasonable Or Absolute?
Degree One Loves Is Inversely Proportional To Degree One Is Loved
Dehydrated Water Just Add Water
Dj Moo: The Feeling That You've Heard All This Bull Before
Dj Vu
Dj Vu All Over Again
Delay Is The Deadliest Form Of Denial
112

Delegating Work Works, Provided The One Delegating Work Works, Too [Robert Half]
Deliberate Haste
Deliberate Mistake
Deliberate Speed
Deliberately
Deliberately Thoughtless
Delicate Assault [Laura Z. Hobson]
Delicate Killing
Delicious Torment [Ralph Waldo Emerson]
Delightful Marriage
Delinquents Were Destructively De-Lighted When Storm De-Electrified Detention
Delmarva Heat, Light & Refrigerating Corp. of Chincoteague, Virginia First Use [Circa 1913]
Delmarva, Portmanteau For Peninsula Formed From Delaware, Maryland & Virginia
Delusions May Be Functional
Delusions Of Adequacy
Demanding Patient
Demo Or Die
Democracy Au Naturel Is Rule By The Mob [Platos Republic]
Democracy Counts Heads Regardless Of Content
Democracy Enhanced American-Style Is Rule By Majority With Due Regard To The Minority
Democracy Is Not Self-Effectuating [Judge Robert J. Cindrich]
Democracy Is Where Everybody Gets What The Majority Deserves
Democracy Is Where Your Vote Counts, Feudalism Is Where Your Count Votes
Democracy Must Be More Than Two Wolves & A Sheep Voting On Who To Have For Dinner
Democracy To Endure Demands Ongoing Active Participation Of Citizenry [Judge Cindrich]
Democrat More Conservative Than Liberal
Democratic Centralism
Democratic Congress
Democratic Dictator
Democratic Leadership
Democratic Party
Democratic Party Was Originally Called The Republican Party [Bicentennial 1991]
Democratic Republic
Democratic Underground
Democrats Never Agree On Anything, That's Why They're Democrats [Will Rogers]
Democrats Who 'Agreed With Each Other, They'd Be Republicans' [Will Rogers]
Demolition Derby
Demolition Worker
Demon Dogs!! [Thundar The Barbarian]
Denial Ain't Just A River In Egypt [Mark Twain]
Denial Is A Drug
Dental Appointments Are Best At Tooth Hurty PM [Posterior Molar]
Dental Award Nominee Tried Tarter But Got No Plaque
Dentist & Manicurist Fought Tooth & Nail
Dentist Gets His Gas At The Filling Station
Dentists Have Fillings Too, So Be Kind To Them
113

Dentists Practice By Going Through Many Drills

Denude Forest
Department Of Defense
Department Of Defense, Old Department Of War
Department Of Defense Orders Offensive
Department Of Interior Is In Charge Of Everything Outdoors
Department Of Redundancy Department
Department Of The Interior
Dependable Insurance
Dependable Witness
Deplore Neglect, Demand Respect [Mannequin 2]
Deposed King
Depraved Indifference
Depression Is Merely Anger Without Enthusiasm [Steven Wright]
Deregulation Law
Derek Deserted Dessert To Disembark For Desert Duty
Derelict Recovered & Revered Reveals Relic
Dermatologists Often See Red & Make Rash Statements
Desert Island
Desert Your Dessert, The Deserter Insisted, Or Be Destroyed By The Desert Storm
Design Is Not Just Look & Feel, Design Is How It Works [Steve Jobs]
Designated Cusser Theyre Everywhere [Vince Gill]
Designated Drinker
Designated Driver
Designed By A Lunatic & Then Hit By An Ax [Top Gear]
Designed To Fail [Economic Policy]
Designed To Fail [Planned Obsolescence]
Designer Beer
Designer Jeans
Designer Water
Desire Is More Powerful Than Pain
Desktop Publishing
Desperate Housewives
Despite Rumors To The Contrary, A Mime Is Actually A Very Satisfying Thing To Waste
Despite The Cost Of Living, Have You Noticed How Popular It Remains?
Dessert Without Cheese Is Like Beautiful Woman With Only One Eye [A. Brillat-Savarin]
Desserts Spelled Backwards Is 'Stressed' - Ever Wonder Why?
Destroy All Records Before 1945, 'Just Be Sure To Keep A Copy Of Everything' [S. Goldwyn]
Destroy The Old Files, But Make Copies First [Samuel Goldwyn]
Destructive Creation
Detailed Summary
Details Of Cartoonist's Death Are Sketchy
Determined Soul Does More With Rusty Wrench Than Loafer With Finest Tools [R. Hughes]
Deterministic Chaos Theory
Dethroned King
Deutsch Dogs In Old Mills Bark - 'Listen, The Mills Are Alive With The Hounds Of Munich!'
114

Devastating Victory
Developed Child
Developmental Swamp Land
Devil Finds Work For Idle Glands
Devil Finds Work For Idle Hands
Devil Is In The Details
Devil Is In The Details, 'As Every Programmer Knows' [S. Leon Felkins]
Devil Is In The Details Marauding , Crusading & Jihading Throughout The Holy Land
Devil Is In The Details, So 'Buy Low & Sell High,'& Let Me Know How That Works...
Devil Is In The Details, Try Getting New Printer's Devil To Set The Tiny Type Sans Typos
Devil Looks After His Own
Devil Made
Devil Made Me
Devil Made Me Do It
Devil Maid
Devil May Be A Comma In Life's Sentence, But Never Let Him Be The Full Stop
Devil-May-Care
Devil Should Enter Your Fathers Father! [Ruach In Dein Tatens Taten Arein!]
Devil Take The Hindmost
Devil Take The Hindmost, Save The Kosher Part For The Chosen
Devil The Lord Of Darkness Rules Over Fiery Pit
Devil Tried To Replace His Lost Tail At The Retail Spirits Store
Devilish 666 Cold Medicine [US]
Devilish Angel
Devilishly Good
Devil's Advocate
Devil's Darning Needle
Devil's Food
Devils Food Cake
Devils In The Details
Devils In The Details, Angels In The Policy [Mitt Romney]
Devout About Face
Devout Atheist
Devout Christian
Dew Is Formed By The Sun Shining Down On The Leaves & Making Them Perspire
Diabolical Nightjars [Satanic Eared]*
Diagonally Parked In A Parallel Universe
Dialed 911 On 911to Report The Whole Nine Yards Raining Down On Us!
Diamond Ring
Diamond With More Carats Than Bugs Bunny Dreams Of Only 4000 Light Years Away!
Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend [Marilyn Monroe]
Diamonds Are Forever ... [De Beer]
Diarrhea Is Hereditary, It Runs In Your Jeans
Dick Head
Dick Van Dyke Is An Anomaly, To Wit, A Masculine Organ From A Masculine Lesbo
Dickens World, English Theme Park Showing The Dark Side Of The Industrial Revolution
115

Dickens World Lets You Go To The Dickens, Devilishly Experiencing Dickens England
Dictator - Risks Life So Democracy Never Comes To Country He Lovingly Oppressed [2012]
Dictatorial Elections
Dictionary Is Only Place Where Success Comes Before Work
Did I Do That? [Steve Urkel]
Did I Mention The Groin Kick You'll Be Receiving If You Touch Me?
Did You Expect Mere Proof To Sway My Opinion?
Did You Hear About The Rich Man Who Said Im Cash Poor?
Did You Just Tell Me I Wasn't Listening To You?
Diddler
Diddlyshit
Diddlysquat
Didgeridoo Player Was Playing Hip Hop Junkie. Well, I Thought, Thats Aboriginal
Didn't Do Anything Wrong & I Won't Do It Again
Didn't Keep Score, But It Could Have Been Twenty Zip
Didn't Like Play, But Saw It Under Adverse Conditions, Curtain Was Up [Groucho Marx]
Die In Love If You Want To Remain Alive
Die, My Dear? Why That's The Last Thing I'll Do! [Groucho Marx]
Die To Know
Died In The Saddle He Came & Went At The Same Time
Diet Cake
Diet Candy
Diet Coke
Diet Ice Cream
Diet Slogan: Are You Going The Wrong Weigh
Diet Soda
Diet That Is Successful Is The Triumph Of Mind Over Platter
Diet, Watch What You Eat & Wish You Could Eat What You Watch [Hermione Gingold]
Dieters Don't Like Food Going To Waist
Dieter's Lament: A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind!
Dieters Live Life In The Fasting Lane
Dieters Toughest Problem Is Not Watching What They Eat, But Watching What Others Eat
Dieting Is A Matter Of Life & Breadth
Dieting Is A Matter Of Life & Breath
Dieting Is The Triumph Of Mind Over Platter
Dieting Is Wishful Shrinking
Diets Are For People Who Are Thick & Tired Of It All
Difference Between A Cat & A Lie Is That A Cat Has Only Nine Lives
Difference Between A Champ & A Chump Is U
Difference Between A Flower & A Weed Is A Judgment
Difference Between A Politician & A Snail Is That A Snail Leaves Its Slime Behind
Difference Between Dog & Fox Is About Five Drinks
Difference Between Earning A Good Living & Living A Good Life, Is Enjoying What You Do
Difference Between Genius & Stupidity Is That Genius Has Its Limits [Albert Einstein]
Difference Between Insanity & Genius Is Success [Jonathan Price]
Difference Between Lawyer & Chicken Is That Chicken 'Clucks Defiant'
116

Difference Between Literature & Journalism Is Former Is Unread & Latter Is Unreadable
Difference Between Men & Pigs Is That Pigs Don't Turn Into Cops Or Drunks
Difference Between Mountain & Molehill Is Perspective [Al Neuharth]
Difference Between Niagara & Viagra Is Niagara Falls
Difference Between One Yard & Two Yards Is A Fence
Difference Between Ordinary & Extraordinary Is That Little Bit Extra
Difference Between Picnic & Panic Is 28 Days
Difference Between Pornography & Erotica Is Lighting
Difference Between Roast Beef & Pea Soup Is Anyone Can Roast Beef... [Tom Snyder]
Difference Between Try & Triumph Is A Little Umph [Marvin Phillips]
Different, Like Everybody Else
Different Pattern
Different Similarities
Dig The Well Before You Are Thirsty
Digamma, Abandoned Greek Letter
Diggerland, English Construction Theme Parks With Spindizzy, Giant Excavator Bucket Ride
Digging Big Hole Key To Planting Trees [Headline]
Digitalis? No, Ill Tell You Later [Hot Lips Houlihan]
Dignified Silence Is Better Than Dignified Speech
Dignified Slavery [Andrew Jackson]
Dijon Vu - The Same Mustard As Before
Dike Finger
Diligent Sloth
Dim Light
Dim Wit
Dime My Be Worth A $1,000,000! - If Used To Scratch Off The Winning Lottery Ticket
Diminished Confidence
Diminishing Growth
Diminutive Giants
Dimwit
Dingbat
Dingbat Did It!
Dingo Did It!
Dingo Did It Outback Down Under [Infanticide]
Dining Hall Food
Dinner Divested Of Ceremony Is An Act Of Perfidy
Dinner for Schmucks
Dinosaur Carnivore Sinosauropteryx Wore Feather 'Mohican' Along Head & Back [BBC News]
Dinty Moore, Not Less
Diplomacy
Diplomacy Is The Art Of Jumping Into Troubled Waters Without Making A Splash
Diplomacy Is The Art Of Letting Someone Else Have Your Own Way
Diplomacy Is The Art Of Restraining Power [Henry Kissinger]
Diplomacy Is The Art Of Saying 'Nice Doggie until You Can Find A Rock [Will Rogers]
Diplomat Always Remembers A Woman's Birthday But Never Her Age [Robert Frost]
Diplomat Can Convince His Wife That A Fur Coat Will Make Her Look Fat
117

Diplomat Can Tell You To Go To Hell & You'll Happily Go

Diplomat Is A Person Who Thinks Twice Before He Says Nothing
Diplomatic Immunity
Diplomatic Offensive
Diplomats Plot
Diplomats Plot Stategy
Dipstick Diplomat
Dire Emergency
Dire News
Direct Access
Direct Action
Direct Antonym
Direct Action Produces Direct Reaction
Direct Circumvention
Direct Contrast
Direct Correlation
Direct Current
Direct Debit
Direct Contrast
Direct Correlation
Direct Current
Direct Debit
Direct Discourse
Direct Dye
Direct Evidence
Direct Examination
Direct Fire
Direct Grant School
Direct Mail
Directed Study
Directed Verdict
Direction Finder
Directional Microphone
Directionality Of English Left To Right
Directionality Of Hebrew Right To Left
Directionless Journey
Directorate For Inter-Services Intelligence
Dirtiest Book Of All Is The Expurgated Book [Walt Whitman]
Dirty, Double-Crossing Rat! [James Cagney]
Dirty, Double-Crossing Rat Fink, Take A Shower!
Dirty Soap
Dis-Kvellified
Disagree Without Being Disagreeable
Disagreeable Difficulty
Disagreeable Law Is Its Own Reward
Disagreement Without Disagreeability
118

Disaster Preparedness
Disaster Relief
Discipline Board
Discipline Is The Bridge Between Goals & Accomplishments [Jim Rohn]
Discipline Without Freedom Is Tyranny; Freedom Without Discipline Is Chaos [C. Hightower]
Disciplined Gluttony
Disciplined Self-Indulgence
Disco Music
Discontent Is The First Necessity Of Progress [Thomas Edison]
Disorder In The Court [1936 Three Stooges Movie Title]
Discovered Missing
Discretion Is Raising One's Eyebrow Instead Of One's Voice
Discretion Is The Better Part Of Valor
Discretionary Rules
Discrimination
Discuss Quietly
Discuss With Yourself
Disease Can Be Cured, But Fate Is Incurable [Chinese Proverb]
Disease Of Stubbornness Has No Cure
Disgruntled Pig Has Lost Its Voice
Disgustingly Good
Dishwasher Convicted Of Killing Boy [IronHerder Header], Toaster Was Acquitted
Dishwashing Liquid Has Real Lemon, While Real Lemon Has Artificial Ingredients
Disinformation
Dismal Success
Disney Bans Junk Food Ads From Its TV Programming, But Not Junky Programs
Disney Has It Best - If He Doesn't Like An Actor He Just Tears Him Up [Alfred Hitchcock]
Disneyland, A People Trap Operated By A Mouse
Disney's World: Cinderella's A Party Girl & Sleeping Beauty Spends Her Time On Her Back
Dispassionate Compromise
Dispassionate Compromise Rises Above The Conflicts [CJ John Roberts Senior Thesis]
Dispensing Of Injustice Is Always In The Right Hands [Stanislaus Lec]
Disposable Income
Disposable Plastic
Disraeli My Good Sir, You Will Either Die On The Gallows Or Of Some Unspeakable Disease
Disrobe If You're Telepathic
Dissent
Dissenting Opinion
Distaff Staff
Distaff Staff Is This Staff
Distance Between Insanity & Genius Is Merely Success [Elliot Carver To 007]
Distance From Car To Home Increases In Proportion To Weight Of Bags You Carry
Distance Lends Enchantment To The View
Distance Lends Enchantment To The View, Darkness Helps Too!
Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
Distant Relative
119

Distinctive Uniform
Distinguished Or Extinguished Career Depends On You
Distracted Driving Division
Ditch Dodge
Ditch Witch
Ditched Dish
Ditched Dodge
Ditched Dodger
Dittohead
Dittoism
Diva - An Extremely Talented But Very Imperious & Temperamental Female Performer
Diva - Selfish, Spoiled, & Overly Dramatic Bitch Who Must Always Have Her Own Way
Diva Specializing In Risqu Arias Is An Off-Coloratura Soprano
Diversity Education
Divi-Dent [Coined By BJL]
Divide & Conquer [Julius Caesar]
Divide Division
Divided Loyalty
Divided Unions
Divided Unity
Dividend Tax
Divinity Fudge
Divorce Court
Divorce Is Like Espresso, Expensive & Bitter
Divorce, Latin For 'Having Your Genitals Torn Off Through Your Wallet'[Robin Williams]
Divorced President [Not An Oxy Since Reagan]
Divorces Are Fewer Among Single People, Chicago Figures Show [Chicago Tribune]
Dizzy Blonde
Dizzy Pinnacle
Dizzy Spell
Dizzying Pace
DNA [Do Not Acquit]
Do - A Deer A Female Deer
Do A Little More Each Day Than You Think You Possibly Can [Lowell Thomas]
Do As I Say, Not As I Do
Do As Much As You Think Needs Done Conveys The Misconception 'Do What You Can'
Do As Much As You Think Needs Done Really Means 'Do It All'
Do As You Would Be Done By
Do As You Wish, If You Cant Do As You Can
Do Be A Do Bee, Don't Be A Don't Bee [Miss Connie - Romper Room]
Do Be Do Be Do [Frank Sinatra]
Do Bears Bear? Do Bees Be? Or Do Bears Bare? Do Bees Bee? [Moonlighting]
Do Bears Bear? Do Bees Bee? [Bzzzzzzzzz! - Pushing Daisies]
Do Bears Bear? Do Bees Bee? Do Ducks Duck? Do Flies Fly? Does Spock Beam Up? [Yahoo]
Do Blind Eskimos Have Seeing-Eye Sled Dogs?
Do Deaf Gynecologists Read Lips?
120

Do First Things First, & Second Things Not At All [Peter Drucker]
Do Good Vacuums Really Suck?
Do Hungry Time-Travelers Ever Go Back Four Seconds?
Do I Know Any Jokes About Sodium Hypobromite? NaBrO
Do I Smell The Revolting Stench Of Self-Esteem? [The Producers]
Do Infants Enjoy Infancy As Much As Adults Enjoy Adultery? [George Carlin]
Do It Now! [Napoleon Hill]
Do It Right The First Time & Nobody Will Appreciate How Difficult It Was!
Do-It-Yourself Coffins For Pets & People [Dale Power & Jeffrey B. Snyder]
Do-It-Yourself People Coffins Built By Woodworkers Who Want To Be Buried In Their Work
Do-It-Yourself Pets Coffins Built By Lassie & Underdog [Undertakerdog]
Do Not Go Through Life; Grow Through Life [Eric Butterworth]
Do Or Dont Do, Dont Try [Yoda]
Do Over That Doover Down Under , Its Crooked! [Australian]
Do Some Soul-Searching, Maybe You Can Find One
Do The Best Of Someone Better! [Supernatural]
Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You
Do Unto Others Before They Do Unto You
Do Unto Others What Has Been Done To You [Maynard James Keenan]
Do Vegetarians Eat Animal Crackers?
Do You Believe In Life After Love? [Cher 'Believe']
Do You Believe In Love After Life?
Do You Believe In Love After Life Of Riley?
Do You Believe In Love At First Sight, Or Should I Walk By Again?
Do You Believe More In God Than He Believes In You?
Do You Believe More In You Than God Does?
Do You Expect Me To Talk? 'No Mr. Bond I Expect You To Die' [Goldfinger To 007]
Do You Feel Lucky, Punk? [Jim Carrey]
Do You Go To Brooklyn On Brooklyn Bridge & Return To Manhattan On Manhattan Bridge?
Do You Have The Balls To Play At Hell's Point Golf Club? [Virginia Beach, VA]
Do You Lose As Gracefully As You Win? I Wouldnt Know [007]
Do You Think My Mind Is Maturing Late, Or Simply Rotted Early? [Ogden Nash]
Do What You Can, With What You Have, Where You Are [Theodore Roosevelt]
Do Whatever Your Enemies Don't Want You To Do
Docile Witness
Doctor Dolittle [See Dr Dolittle]
Doctor Execution Policy Debated [AP]
Doctor Had Humerus Incident Falling On His Funny Bone
Doctor I Can't Feel My Legs! - "I Know You Can't, I've Cut Off Your Arms!
Doctor I Think Im Shrinking! - 'Settle Down, You'll Just Have To Be A Little Patient
Doctor Is One Who Kills Schilz' Ills With Pills & Kills Schilz With His Bills
Doctor Of Nursing
Doctor Reviewing Madame Butterfly Charged With 'Opera Rating Without A License
Doctor Told Me To Stop Intimate Dinners For 4 Unless There Are 3 Others [Orson Welles]
Doctor X-Rayed My Head & Found Nothing
Doctoral Ignorance Comes After Knowledge [Michel De Montaigne]
121

Doctors & Grave-Diggers Are Partners

Doctors At Sea Are Accustomed To See Sickness
Doctors, Dentists & Lawyers Are Only On Time For Appointments When You're Not
Doctors & Grave-Diggers Are Partners
Doctors' Law: If Ill Make Appointment & You'll Heal Before Then. If You Don't You Won't!
Dodd-Frank Financial Reform Act Implements Financial Regulatory Reform [2010]
Dodd-Frank: Goldman Sachs Working To Snuff Out Dodd-Frank [Alain Sherter]
Dodge Ram
Dodged A Bullet
Dodged A Ram
Dodgers File Bankruptcy, Los Angeles That Is, Not Brooklyn! Right On!
Dodo Doo-Doo
Doe A Deer, A Female Deer
Doe - A Young Beautiful Dear Doll, Her Eyes Doleful, Yet Intriguing & Inviting
Doe Is Deer Breeder When Bun In Oven; Dough Is Dear Bread When Bun In Oven, Doh!!!
Doe Is Deer, Money Is Dear, And So Doe Is Dear Money & Money Deer Doe!
DOE Money Is Money From The Department Of Energy
Doe: Take Doe, Save Doe, Money On The Mind [Red Rover Lyrics]
Does A Bee Care? [Isaac Asimov]
Does A Cat Apult?
Does A Cone Have A Vertex? - A Pat Cone?
Does A Glider Fly?
Does A Horse Shit In The Barn? [Lost Girl]
Does A Lie Detector Always Tell The Truth? Poly-Graft?
Does A Reverse Mortgage Work?
Does A Reverse Mortgage Work In Reverse?
Does A Root Canal Hurt?
Does A Shadow Have Weight? What About The Shadow?
Does A Straight Beat A Flush
Does A Straight [Guy] Beat A Flush/Blush [Gay]?
Does A Thieving Mime's Miranda Rights Include The Right To Remain Silent?
Does God Believe More In You Than You Believe In Him?
Does God Believe More In You Than You Do?
Does History Record Any Case In Which The Majority Was Left?
Does History Record Any Case In Which The Majority Was Right?
Does It Make Sense To Jump Out Of A Warm Bed Into A Cold Cereal? [Quaker Oats]
Does Killing Time Damage Eternity? [George Carlin]
Does Love Being Merely Chemistry, Explain My Wifes Treating Me Like Toxic Waste?
Does Make A Buck Buck, Who Does Not Pass The Buck, But Does His "Buckly" Duties
Does She Or Doesn't She? [Clairol Hair Coloring]
Does Spinning An Oriental In Circles Disorient Him?
Does That Mean You Gets Bed & Board? Extremely! [Appassionata Von Climax]
Does The Name Pavlov Ring A Bell?
Does The Noise In My Head Bother You?
Does The Speed Of Darkness Exceed The Speed Of Light?
Does Your Depravity Know No Bounds? [Sherlock Holmes 2009]
122

Does Your Train Of Thought Stop Anywhere?

Doesn't Expecting The Unexpected Make The Unexpected Become The Expected?
Doesn't Matter If You're Rich Or Not, So Long As You Have Everything You Want
Dog-Eat-Dog
Dog Fish
Dog Fled Fort Stark Flea Circus With Stars & Scratch No Dont Scratch!
Dog For Sale: Eats Anything & Is Fond Of Children [Classified Ad]
Dog Is Man's Best Friend
Dog May Be Man's Best Friend, But Pussy's Not Far Behind
Dog May Be Man's Best Friend Daily, But by Night Hes Pushing Pussy's Fair Behind
Dogs Never Bite Me, Just Humans [Marilyn Monroe]
Dog Pound Fence: 'Salesmen Welcome! Dog Food Is Expensive!'
Dog Spelled Backwards Is God
Dogmatic People Having Dogmas Different From Yours Hang On To Them Doggedly
Doh! [Homer Simpson]
Doing God's Work: Transfiguration Of The 'L' In Goldman Sachs Onto Its Clients
Doing Nothing
Doing Nothing Is Very Hard, You Never Know When You're Finished [Leslie Nielson]
Doing What Comes Naturally, Seething, Fuming & Throwing A Tantrum
Dollar Value
Dollar Venison Dinner - Pretty Good Doe For A Buck! [Car Talk]
Dolly Bird
Dollywood Is Undergoing Renovations, Please PARTON Our Dust!
Domestic Abuse
Domestic Bliss
Domestic Cat
Domestic Cooperation
Domestic Disturbance
Domestic Tranquility
Domestic Violence
Domestos Kills All Known Germs - Dead!, Well, At Least 99 Per Cent Of All Known Germs
Domino Effect At Work: >|||//////////___
Don Juan In Hankey, PA [Gale Martin] - Caused Pankey
Don Juan In Heaven
Don Juan In Hell
Donald Duck Allegedly Banned In Finish Town Of Kemi For Going Pantsless (Or Pantless?)
Don'cha Know?! [Bobby's World]
Donner Party
Donner Party Cutup
Donner Party Parties
Don't Abbrev.
Dont Argue With A Fool, The Spectators Cant Tell The Difference
Don't Argue With Anyone Who Is Packing Your Parachute
Dont Ask Any Question To Which You Dont Want To Know The Answer
Dont Ask Ha! Ask & Expel, Mel [Pre-Clinton]
Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Nell [Clintons Step Forward]
123

Dont Ask Sarge, Do Tell Ike If You Like [Obamas Next Step Forward]
Don't Ask The Barber Whether You Need A Haircut
Don't Assume Malice For What Stupidity Can Explain
Don't Attribute To Malice What Can As Easily Be Attributed To Stupidity
Dont Bang My Teapot [Hok Mir Nit Kayn Chainik]
Don't Be A Sexist, Broads Hate That
Don't Be Afraid To Go Out On A Limb, That's Where The Fruit Is
Don't Be Deceived By Appearances
Don't Be Greedy On The Way Up
Don't Be Humble, Youre Not That Great
Don't Be In Such A Jiffy, Cover Your Stiffy
Don't Be Irreplaceable, If You Can't Be Replaced, You Can't Be Promoted
Don't Be Sexist -- Broads Hate That
Don't Be Silly, Protect Your Willy
Don't Be Stupid, Be A Smartie, Come & Join The Nazi Party [The Producers]
Don't Be Vague - Ask For Haig [Haig Whiskey]
Don't Believe Everything You Hear Or Anything You Say
Don't Believe Everything You Think
Don't Believe In Miracles, Rely On Them
Don't Bite The Hand That Feeds You
Don't Bother Me, Im Living Happily Ever After
Don't Burn Your Bridges Behind You
Dont Butt In
Don't Cast Your Pearls Before Swine
Don't Change Horses In Midstream
Don't Complain About Neighbors Snowy Roof When Your Doorstep Is Unclean [Confucius]
Don't Compromise Yourself, You're All You've Got
Don't Confuse An Open Mind With One That's Vacant
Don't Cook In Your Neighbor's Saucepan
Don't Copy That Floppy
Don't Count The Days, Make The Days Count
Don't Count Your Boobies Before They're Hatched [James Thurber]
Don't Count Your Bridges Before You Burn Them
Don't Count Your Chickens Before They Hatch
Don't Criticize My Coffee, You May Be Old & Weak One Day Too
Don't Cross The Bridge Till You Come To It
Don't Cry Because It's Over, Smile Because It Happened [Dr. Seuss]
Don't Cut Off Your Nose To Spite Your Face
Don't Dink & Drance [Christian Metalcore Album, Plagues]
Don't Disturb The Perimeter, Resist Stirring Up Any Messes
Don't Do It If You Can't Keep It Up [NASA]
Don't Do It If You Can't Keep It Up [Pussy Galore]
Don't Do It If You Can't Keep It Up Or Ran Out Of Viagra
Don't Do The Crime If You Can't Do The Time [Baretta]
Don't Dream It, Be It [Rocky Horror Picture Show]
Don't Drink & Drive, You Might Hit A Bump & Spill Your Drink
124

Don't Drink & Drive, Youll Only Spill It

Don't Drink & Park - Accidents Cause People
Don't Drink The Water
Don't Drink Water In Poor Countries, Don't Breathe Air In Rich Countries
Dont Drown The Man Who Taught You To Swim
Don't Eat & Exercise Immediately After Meal [IronHerder Header]
Don't Eat & Exercise Immediately After Meal, Eating After Adds Weight While Waiting
Don't Eat Snails, I Prefer FAST Food!
Don't Eat The Yellow Snow!
Don't Encourage Him!
Don't Ever, Ever, Ever, Ask Me To Do Anything Like That, Ever Again! [Pepper - Iron Man]
Don't Express A Random Thought To A Legislator Or It Just May Become The Law
Don't Feed Food To The Bears, $50 Fine!
Don't Fight Fire With Fire, Remember The Fire Department Uses Water
Don't Find Fault, Find A Remedy [Henry Ford]
Don't Fire Till You See The Whites Of Their Eyes - Then, Fire Low! [Col. William Prescott]
Dont Follow Me, Im Lost Too
Don't Force It, Get A Larger Hammer
Don't Forget The Fruit Gum, Mum [Rowntree's Fruit Gums]
Don't Forget To Remember Me! [Carrie Underwood]
Don't Get Between A Dog & A Lamppost
Don't Get Even, Get Mad [Frank Sinatra]
Don't Get Mad, Get Even
Don't Get Mad Or Even, Get Going!
Don't Get Old, You Will Live To Regret It
Don't Give Me An Evil Eye [Gib Mir Nit Kain Aynhorah]
Don't Give Me That Attitude, I've Got My Own
Don't Go There
Don't Grumble. Plug On! [Sir Thomas Treves]
Dont Hate Me Because Im Beautiful, Hate Me Because Your Boyfriend Thinks I Am
Don't Hate Yourself In The Morning -- Sleep Till Noon
Don't Have A Bank Account As I Don't Know My Mother's Maiden Name [Paula Poundstone]
Don't Have A Cow Man [The Simpsons]
Don't Have Battles Of Wits With Unarmed People
Don't Interrupt Me While Im Ignoring You
Don't Interrupt Me While Im Interrupting You
Don't Judge Each Day By What You Reap, But By What You Plant [Robert Louis Stevenson]
Don't Judge Me By What You've Heard About Me, Judge Me By What I Do [Rupert Murdoch]
Don't Just Do Something, Stand There [That Girl, 1966]
Don't Keep A Dog & Bark Yourself
Don't Knock Masturbation It's Sex With Someone I Love [Woody Allen]
Don't Know Key To Success, But Key To Failure Is Trying To Please Everybody [Bill Cosby]
Don't Know My Elbow From My Ear
Don't Leave Things Unfinishe
Don't Lay This At My Door Step [Mama's Family]
125

Don't Let A Little Dispute Injure A Great Friendship [Dali Lama]

Don't Let Aging Get You Down...It's Too Hard To Get Back Up!
Don't Let Making A Living Prevent You From Making A Life [John Wooden]
Don't Let People Drive You Crazy When You Know It's Within Walking Distance
Don't Let Schooling Get In The Way Of Your Education
Don't Let The Bastards Grind You Down
Don't Let The Bedbugs Bite
Dont Let Yesterday Take Up Too Much Of Today
Don't Let Your Mind Wander
Don't Let Your Mind Wander, It's Far Too Small To Be Let Out On Its Own
Dont Let Your Mouth Run Faster Than Your Mind
Don't Let Your Mouth Write A Check That Your Ass Can't Cash [Stetsasonic]
Don't Let Your Mouth Write A Check That Your Tail Can't Cash [Bo Diddley]
Dont Let Your Victories Go To Your Head, Or Your Failures Go To Your Heart
Don't Let Your Will Power Get The Best Of You
Don't Let What You Cant Do Interfere With What You Can Do [John Wooden]
Don't Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth
Don't Look Back, Something May Be Gaining On You [Satchel Paige]
Don't Look Like Yourself
Dont Look Unless Youre Prepared To See
Dont Look Where You Fall, But Where You Slipped
Don't Lose Heart, It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn
Don't Lose Heart They Might Want To Cut It Out
Don't Lose Your Head To Gain A Minute, You Need Your Head, Your Brains Are In It [B.S.]
Don't Make A Mistake, Muzzle Your Snake
Don't Make Me Angry, You Wont Like Me When Im Angry [The Incredible Hulk]
Don't Make Waves
Don't Make Waves, Make Tsunamis
Don't Manage By The Book, Especially If Don't Know Which One Or Who Wrote It
Don't Marry For Money, You Can Borrow It Cheaper
Don't Measure Life In Breaths Taken, But In How Often Your Breath Is Taken Away
Don't Meet Troubles Half-Way
Don't Mind Me, My Kids Don't
Don't Mind The Rat Race, But I Could Do With A Little More Cheese
Dont Mistake Activity For Achievement [John Wooden]
Dont Mix Business With Pleasure
Don't Need A Friend Who Merely Nods When I Nod, My Shadow Does That [Plutarch]
Dont Need A Parachute To Skydive, But Only To Land
Dont Need A Parachute To Skydive, But Only To Skydive Twice
Don't Need To Punish, Deceive, Or Compromise Myself, Unless I Want To Stay Employed
Don't Need Your Attitude, I Have One Of My Own
Don't Nurse A Kid Or Anyone Who Wears Braces Except If Prescribed By A Orthopedist
Don't Panic On The Way Down
Dont Panky, Pass The Hanky!
Don't Pay Any Attention To The Critics, Don't Even Ignore Them [Samuel Goldwyn]
Don't Pay Any Attention To The Critics, They Don't Pay Any Attention To You!
126

Don't Piss Down My Back &Tell Me It's Raining [Outlaw Josey Wales, 1976]
Don't Piss Me Off! Im Running Out Of Places To Hide The Bodies
Don't Play Stupid With Me, Im Better At It
Don't Play With The Coals Pussycat, You'll Burn Your Paw
Don't Poop Where You Eat!
Don't Put All Your Eggs In One Basket
Don't Put New Wine Into Old Bottles
Don't Put New Wine Into Old Bottles Unless You're A Cheat
Dont Put Off Till Tomorrow What You Can Do Today
Don't Put The Cart Before The Horse
Don't Put Too Many Adaptors Into One Socket, They Confuse
Don't Retreat...Reload! [Palin]
Don't Rock The Boat
Don't Rock The Boat, Rock N' Roll It!
Dont Sell The Skin Off The Bear Thats Still In The Forest
Don't Spoil The Ship For A Ha'porth Of Tar
Dont Steal A Police Car Unless You Can Floor It All The Way To Mexico
Don't Sell The Steak, Sell The Sizzle
Don't Send My Boy To Harvard, The Dying Mother Said
Don't Send My Boy To Princeton, I'd Rather See Him Dead
Don't Set Sail On Someone Else's Star [African Proverb]
Don't Speak Of Secret Matters On Airplanes, Streets, Cell Phones Or Outside Your Head!
Don't Steal, The Government Hates Competition
Don't Sweat The Petty Things & Don't Pet The Sweaty Things [George Carlin]
Don't Sweat The Small Stuff
Don't Take Life So Serious - It Ain't Nohow Permanent [Pogo]
Don't Take Life Too Seriously, You Won't Get Out Alive
Don't Take Yourself So Seriously, No One Else Does
Don't Talk The Talk If You Can't Walk The Walk
Don't Tax Him, Don't Tax Me, Tax That Man Behind The Tree! [Senator Russell Long]
Don't Teach Your Children The Value Of A Dollar Or They'll Ask For Two
Don't Teach Your Grandma To Suck Eggs
Dont Tell Any Big Lies Today, Small Ones Can Be Just As Effective
Dont Tell Me How Hard You Work, Tell Me How Much You Get Done
Don't Thank Me For Insulting You, It Was A Pleasure
Don't Think Anyone Should Write His Autobiography Until After He's Dead [S. Goldwyn]
Dont Throw Bricks When You Live In A Glass House
Don't Throw Pearls To Swine
Don't Throw The Baby Out With The Bath Water
Don't Thump On Thumper
Don't Touch! Hot & Cold Glass Looks Exactly The Same
Don't Touch The Mans Monkey [Bones]
Don't Touch The Mans Monkey Lady, He Bites!
Don't Touch The Mans Monkey Lady, If You Bite
Dont Trust A Relative In Business
Don't Try To Change Lines As Your Original Line Will Then Move Faster
127

Don't Try To Have The Last Word, You Might Get It

Don't Try To Walk Before You Can Crawl
Don't Undermine Your Worth By Comparing Yourself With Others
Don't Upset The Apple-Cart
Don't Use A Big Word When A Diminutive One Will Suffice
Don't Use A Hatchet To Knock A Fly Off Your Buddy's Forehead
Don't Use No Double Negatives, No How, No Way!
Don't View Women As Logical, View Them As Minefields With Make-Up On [Mark Patinkin]
Don't Wait To Strike Till The Iron Is Hot, But Make It Hot By Striking [William B. Sprague]
Dont Walk In Front Of Me Or Behind Me - Walk Beside Me & Be My Friend
Don't Walk On The Grass Signs Are Manually Installed On Lawns, In Violation Thereof
Don't Want 'Yes Men,' Want People Who'll Disagree, Even If It Costs Their Jobs [S. Goldwyn]
Don't Wash Your Dirty Linen In Public
Dont Waste Your Time On A Guy That Isnt Willing To Waste His Time On You
Don't Wish Upon A Star, Reach For One!
Don't Worry About Knowing People, Make Yourself Worth Knowing
Don't Worry About The Movie, It's All Over But The Shooting [Samuel Goldwyn?]
Don't Worry About The War, It's All Over But The Shooting [Samuel Goldwyn]
Don't Worry, Be Happy
Don't Worry, I Forgot Your Name, Too!
Don't Worry, It Only Adds To Your Worries
Dont Worry What You Eat Xmas To New Years, But What You Eat New Years To Xmas
Don't Wrestle With Pigs, You'll Muddy Yourself & The Pigs Will Love It
Don't You Hate People Who Don't Love Their Fellow Man?
Don't You Hate Women Who Don't Love Their Fellow Man As Often As They Can?
Don't You Look At Me In That Tone Of Voice!
Donut Holes Can Be Real, Bagel Holes Fakes!
Donuts Maker Quit After He Got Tired Of The Hole Thing
Donuts Were First Made In Greece, The Holes Too
Doodlebug Attack Caused Dad To Become A Scribbler
Door Bells Are Obsolete, Folks Today Call Or Text To Let You Know Theyre At The Door
Door Is Not A Door When It's Ajar & When Its Slammed It Jars
Door Is What A Dog Is Perpetually On The Wrong Side Of [Ogden Nash]
Door Of Opportunity Won't Open Unless You Do Some Pushing
Door Thats Open Is Ajar, Then A Jar Thats Open Is Adoor, Yes?
Doorstop
Do's & Donts Influence Wills & Wonts
DOS: Dumb Operating System
Dot-Com Bubble Burst [March 10, 2000]
Dotted Line
Double Agent
Double Bacon Cheese Burger, Large Cheese Fries & Diet Coke, Please!
Double-Check
Double Decker
Double, Double Toil & Trouble, Fire Burn & Cauldron Bubble [Shakespeare]
Double Entendre
128

Double Entendres, Be They Oxymoronic Or Just Moronic

Double-Hand Transplant Patient Applauds Operation [Reuters]
Double Negative
Double Negatives Cancel One Another & Produce A Positive [English]
Double Negatives In Slavic: Never I Did Not Go There [Means I Have Never Been There]
Double Sawbuck: Dub, Twenty, $20 Bill Or Jackson & A Legitimate Dead President
Double Solitaire
Double Whammy [Li'l Abner]
Doublespeak:1984 Misattribution Meaning Deliberately Ambiguous Or Evasive Language
Doublespeak Award Established In 1974 By National Council Of Teachers Of English [NCTE]
Doublespeak: Bombing, Bombing. It's Not Bombing! It's Air Support!' [First Award 1974]
Doublespeak: Don't 'Want To Destroy Any People' So 'We Have Shed So Much Blood' [ 1975]
Doublespeak: Exxon Calling Oily Beaches 'Environmentally Clean' & 'Stabilized'[Valdez 1989]
Doublespeak: Glenn Beck Equating Kid's Healthcare & Exec Salary Caps To Nazism [2008]
Doublespeak-JD: Dept. Of States Consumer Affairs Coordinator 1976 Job Description (JD):
Doublespeak-JD: 'Review Existing Mechanisms Of Consumer Input, Thruput, & Output &
Doublespeak-JD: 'Seek Ways Of Improving These Linkages Via The Consumer Channel'
Doublespeak: MX Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Named 'Peacekeeper' [Reagan 1983]
Doublespeak: Nuke Eliminates Enemy With Minimum Damage To Friendly Territory' [1977]
Doublespeak: Ollie By Cleaning Things Up Was 'Cleaning Up The Historical Record' [1987]
Doublespeak: Obfuscating Deadlines By Substituting Tautological 'Aspirational Goals' [2008]
Doublespeak: Tax Nonsmokers For However Much They're Not Smoking [Dick Armey 2010]
Doublespeak: Torture, Excesses Of Human Nature That Humanity Suffers [Abu Ghraib 2004]
Doublespeak: Viet 'Body Bag' To Gulf 'Human Remains Pouch' To Iraq 'Transfer Tube' [2004]
Doubletalk: 1984 Misattribution Also Meaning Deliberately Ambiguous Or Evasive Language
Doublethink, Simultaneously Accepting Two Mutually Contradictory Beliefs As Correct [1984]
Doubt Is Often The Beginning Of Wisdom [M. Scott Peck]
Doubt Is The Beginning Not The End Of Wisdom
Doubting Believers
Dove Dove Into The Drove When Attacked
Dove Heads Feather Identification Lab Of National Museum Of Natural History [Carla J. Dove]
Dove Identifies Bird Remains From Stomachs Of Florida Everglades Giant Burmese Pythons
Dove Reunites Military Man With Family [Dove Men+Care Body Washes]
Dow Reported Batteries Exploded, Trying To Recharge The Market
Dow Reported Coca Cola Fizzled, while Diapers Remain Unchanged
Dow Reported Cows Steered Into A Bull Market & Pencils Lost A Few Points
Dow Reported Elevators Rose, While Escalators Continued Their Slow Decline
Dow Reported Fluorescent Tubing Dimmed In Light Trading, But Knives Were Sharply Up
Dow Reported Helium Up, Feathers Down & Paper Stationery!
Dow Reported Hiking Equipment Trailing, But Weights Were Up In Heavy Trading
Dow Reported Light Switches Off & Mining Equipment Hit Rock Bottom
Dow Reported Raisin Market Dried Up, As Caterpillar Stock Inched Up A Bit
Dow Reported Shipping Lines Stayed At An Even Keel, While Balloon Prices Were Inflated
Down & Out
Dow Reported Sun Peaked At Midday, While Moon Eclipsed
Down Blouse
129

Down Blouse - Nip Sip, Nipple Slipple Or Peek-A-Boobie!!!

Down Elevator
Down Escalator
Down In The Ground
Down In The Lift
Down Lift
Down Syndrome Is A Downer
Down The Hatch, But Natch [Yogi Bear]
Down Went McGinty To The Bottom Of The Sea
Down With Bras!
Down With Categorical Imperative!
Down With Gravity!
Down With Mini-Skirts!
Downgrade Effect Of Downgrade
Downplaying & Blas
Downplaying & Blas Is Not My Modus Operandi
Downright Answer
Downright False
Downright Lie
Downsizing
Dowries Makes The Ugly Ones Beautiful & The Pretty Ones Ordinary
Dr Dolittle Did Much With Munching Marsupials & Other Mammals
Dr Dolittle's Animal Family: Cheapside Sparrow, Chee-Chee Monkey, Dab-Dab Duck, Jip Dog
Dr Dolittle's Animal Family: Gub-Gub Pig, Mudface Turtle, Polynesia Parrot, Too-Too Owl
Dr Dolittle's Animal Family: Pushmi-Pullyu [Pushme-Pullyou] 2-Headed Gazelle-Unicorn Cross
Dr Dolittle's Animal Family: Pushmi-Pullyu, Two Headed Llama In 1967 & Best Film
Dr Phil's Simple Plan To Make You Thin - Be A Guest On His Show [Magazine Cover]
Dr Who? Dr Seuss, Born Theodore Seuss Geisel, Shortened From Dr Theophastrus Seuss
Drab Seedeaters*
Draft Dodger
Drag Queen
Drag Race
Drains Must Be Opened Up When They Are Stopped Up
Drama Queen
Drastic Improvement
Drawing A Blank
Dream Act [From Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream]
Dream Act [From Wetbacks Wet Dream]
Dream As If You'll Live Forever, Live As If You'll Die Today
Dream But Always With Your Eyes Wide Open
Dream Is Just A Dream, But A Goal Is A Dream With Purpose & Implementation
Dreaming About Being An Actress, Is More Exciting Then Being One [Marilyn Monroe]
Dreaming In Color It's A Pigment Of Your Imagination
Dreaming Permits Us To Be Quietly & Safely Insane Each Night [Dr William Dement]
Dreamliner Grounded When Battery Designer Found Asleep At The Wheel [787]
Dreams Are The Seedlings Of Reality [Napoleon Hill]
130

Dreams Become Reality With Lot Of Determination, Dedication & Self-Discipline [J. Owens]
Dreams Of Great Things That Come True Can Lead To Disappointment
Dreams Reality
Dreams They Complicate My Life, Dreams They Complement My Life [REM]
Drek/Dreck, Its Bupkis! [Yiddish-Crap, Shit, Worthless Material/Merchandise]
Dress Flip-Flops
Dress Casual
Dress Is Disgraceful 10 Years Before Its Time, Daring 1 Year Before & Chic In Its Time
Dress Is Dowdy 3 Years After Its Time, Hideous 20 Years Later & Amusing 30 Years Hence
Dress Is Romantic A Century After Its Time & Beautiful 150 Years Later
Dress Jeans
Dress Pants
Dress Shirt
Dress Shoes
Dressed To Kill
Dressy Casual
Drill For Oil? In The Ground? You're Crazy' [1859 Drillers Who Refused Edwin Drake]
Drilling A Straight Hole [Nancy Janicek, Nom De Plume For Transvestite Casanova?]
Drilling For Oil Is Boring
Drink A Highball At Nightfall
Drink A Milkshake At Daybreak
Drink Of Grief [From Whence Came "Pot/Weed"]
Drink Responsibly
Drink Tizer, The Appetizer
Drink To Me Only With Thine Eyes & I Will Pledge With Mine [Ben Jonson]
Drink Varnish & You'll Have A Lovely Finish
Drinka Pinta Milka Day [Milk Marketing Board]
Drinking Liquor Before Pregnancy May Lead To Pregnancy
Drinking Man Wants To Forget He Isn't Still Young & Believing [Tennessee Williams]
Drinking Too Much Coffee Can Cause A Latte Problems
Drip Dry
Drive Carefully, Its Not Only The Cars That Can Be Recalled By The Maker
Drive Defensively
Drive Defensively, & Remember The Best Defense Is A Good Offense!
Drive Defensively, Buy A Tank
Drive It Like You Stole It!
Drive On A Parkway
Drive Slowly, We're In A Hurry [Winston Churchill]
Drive Through Parking
Drive-Thru Window [Fast Food Or Banking]
Drive-Thru Window [Without Breaking It?]
Drive Thy Business Or It Will Drive Thee [Benjamin Franklin]
Driven To Suicide - Was Suicided
Driver Who Lost His Left Arm & Leg In A Car Crash Is All Right Now
Drivers Going Slower Than You Are Idiots & Those Going Faster Maniacs [Rain Bojangles]
Driving On So Many Turnpikes Was Taking Its Toll
131

Driving One Way On A One Way Road The Wrong Way!

Driving Pleasure
Droning Silence
Drop Dead Gorgeous
Drop Dead Gorgeous She Was Even As A Corpse
Drop Palin
Drop Palins Pants Pants Randy Paul
Drop Your Socks & Grab Your Crocs, We're About To Get Wet On This Ride [Iron Man II]
Dropped Acid
Dropped Acid, Picked Up Etchings
Dropped Egg
Dropped Her Offspring
Dropped Their R's
Dropper Named Clapper [Play It Again, Seymour - Quantum Leap]
Drowning Man Will Clutch At A Straw
Drunkard & The Bartender Both Smell Of Whisky
Duct Tape Holds The Universe Together [Carl Zwanzig]
Drug Capital
Drug Culture
Drug Free School Zone
Drug Rehab Center Lawn Sign Read: 'Keep Off The Grass'
Drug War
Drugs Cause Amnesia & Other Things I Cant Remember
Drugs Lead To Nowhere, But By The Scenic Route
Drunk After Police Chase Awakes Surrounded By Bars, Yelping 'Beer, Please'
Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case [Headline Cramped?]
Drunk Lying On The Floor Couldn't Hold On & Fessed Up [Congressman]
Drunk Lying On The Floor Firmly Held On Not To Fall Up [Playboy]
Drunk On Wagon Was Dis-Spirited, Dyspeptic & Dysphoric
Drunk People Taking Care Of Drunker People [Henry Thoreau]
Drunk Preferred Bottle In Front Of Me Over Frontal Lobotomy
Drunk Walks Into A Bar, Ouch! He Exclaimed
Drunk Walks Into Bar With Cobble Stone & Orders A Beer Please, & One For The Road
Drunk With Sobriety
Drunk Woman Is An Angel In Bed But A Devil At Home
Drunkard Lawyers Are Both Disbarred & Debarred
Drunken Man's Words Are A Sober Man's Thoughts
Drunks Get Nine Months In Violin Case [Monterey Herald Sun - Stolen Violin]
Dry Beer
Dry Cleaner Seeks Nun With Dirty Habits
Dry Cleaning
Dry Cloud
Dry Creek
Dry Gin
Dry Hole
Dry Humor
132

Dry Ice
Dry Lake
Dry Lotion
Dry Martini
Dry Martini, Medium Vodka, Plenty Of Ice, Shaken Not Stirred [007]
Dry Milk
Dry Pond
Dry River
Dry Snow
Dry Up
Dry Vermouth
Dry Water
Dry Well
Dry Wine
Dubious Argument
Dubiously False
Dubya [George 'W' Bush]
Duck Said To The Bartender, 'Put It On My Bill
Duck Soup
Duck-Billed Dinosaur
Duck-Billed Platypus
Ducks Grow Down, Ducklings Grow Up
Ducks In A Row
Ducks In A Row Duckwalk
Ducks Wake Up At The Quack Of Dawn!
Ducky Dudette
Duct Tape Is Like The Force, It Has Light Side, Dark Side & Holds The Universe Together
Dude President [Chester A. Arthur]
Dudes Before Marriage Are Subdued In Marriage
Dudes, If The Tent Is Rocking Dont Come Knocking [Supernatural]
Dudt Bakery, Specializing In Flat Breads
Due Diligence
Due Process
Due Process & Judicial Process Not The Same When It Comes To National Security [USAG]
Due Process Guaranteed By Constitution, Not Judicial Process [US Attorney General Holder]
Due Process Is Then The Process Of Doing What You Do! - Or Perhaps It Should Be:
*Due Process Is The Process Of Doing Dually What You Do, As Once Is Not Enough! - Or:
*Due Process Is The Process Of Doing It Duly, At The Proper Time & As It Ought To Be
*Due Process Is The Process Of Doing It Duly, In Timely Manner & By Properly Aiming Drone
Due Process Of Law Required For Any Man To Be Put To Death [Magna Carta Statute 1354]
*'No Man' Shall Be Put To Death, Without He Be Brought To Answer By Due Process Of Law'
Due Process Of Law Required To Deprive Any Person Of Life, Liberty, Or Property [Const. 5th]
Due Process Without Accompaniment, By Noted Duelling A Cappella Ensemble Duelly Noted
Dull Acupuncture
Dull Acupuncturists
Dull Knife
133

Dull Needle
Dull Pain
Dull Roar
Dull Shine
Dum Dum, A Stupid Or Dumb Person
Dum Dum Boys, Norwegian Rock Band 'Reinvented' In 1985 From 1970's 'Wannskrkk'
Dum-Dum Bullets, Not Dumb Or Smart But Made At Dum Dum Arsenal, Calcutta, India
Dum-Dum Expanding Bullets Outlawed By The Hague Convention Of 1899
Dum Dum Girls, American Indie Pop Band From California Formed In 2008
Dum Dums, America's Favorite Giveaway Lollipop' Since 1924 For 'Dumb' Sugar Highs?
Dumb & Dumber
Dumb Ass
Dumb Blonde
Dumb Blonde Jokes Don't Offend Me, Im Not Dumb Or Blonde [Dolly Parton]
Dumb Mute
Dumb Bomb
Dumb Dummy Had Dumb Ventriloquist
Dumb Waiter
Dumb Wives & Blind Husbands Might Make Their Marriages Work
Dumber Than A Buffalo Chip
Dumber Than A Dumb Waiter
Dumber Than Dumb
Dumbest Man On Uppers
Dummies Are Dumb Speechless Dummies Without Their Ventriloquists
Dummies Who Use Smart Phones Are Still Dumb
Dummy Dummys Dummy Was &/Or Was Depicted As A Dummy Dummy Dummy
Dump Was So Full It Had To Refuse More Refuse
Dung Beetle
Dunsel [Star Trek]
Duplicate Original
During Root Canal I Lost My Nerve
Dust: Mud With The Juice Squeezed Out
Dust Off
Dust Protects Furniture, Doesnt It?
Dutch [Ronald Reagan]
Dutch American
Dutch Caps Used By Dutch Wives & Dutch Widows To Prevent Dutch Treats From Dutch Johns
Dutch Comfort Is Comforting By Sympathetically Saying Things Could Be Worse!
Dutch Concerts Are Double Dutch Gibberish, Dutch-Bottomed, & Paying Artists Dutch Gold
Dutch Courage Has Been Described As Courage Resulting From Intoxication, A Dutch Treat?
Dutch Oven, Official State Pot of Utah, Is Smoking For Baking, Frying, Roasting & Stewing
Dutch Oven: Farting So Your Bed Companion Can Enjoy Its Odoriferousness Too Toot Toot!
Dutch Treat, Ditch The Bitch, Scratch Your Itch!
Dutch Treat, You Do You & Ill Do Me! Its Just Like Going Dutch!
Duty Officer Needs To Get Flag Officer Quickly, Nap On Duty
Dybbuk, Yiddish For Malevolent Deceased Spirit Who Enters & Controls A Living Body
134

Dying Comfort The Living Until They Decline To Play This Role [IronHerder]
Dying Is A Part Of Life
Dying From Dyeing
Dying Is A Part Of Life
Dying Is Easy, Living Is Hard
Dying Is One Of The Few Things That Can Be Done As Easily Lying Down [Woody Allen]
Dying Is Very Dull, Dreary Affair, He Started His Last Words [W. Somerset Maugham]
Dying My Advice Is To Have Nothing Whatever To Do With It [W. Somerset Maugham]
Dying To Live
Dying With Anticipation {NCIS]
Dying Young When I'm Very Old Is My Life's Objective
Dyke Had Finger In Dyke, Saving The Day
Dyke Had Finger In Dyke When Arrested On Minor Morals Charges
Dyke With I [Dike] Is Three-Quarters Of The Way To Dick
Dynamic Duo
Dynamic Equilibrium
Dynamic Monotone
Dynamic Stability
Dynamite Factory Opening Ad: Must Be Willing To Travel Without Notice
Dysfunctional Family
Dyslexic Agnostic Insomniac Lies Awake All Night Wondering If Theres A Dog
Dyslexic Atheist Insomniac Lies Awake Thinking How To Prove To Others Theres No Dog
Dyslexic Drunk Staggered Into A Bra
Dyslexic Drunk Staggered Into A Bra Wanting A Rime Lickey
Dyslexics Have More Fnu
Dyslexic Nieschtezsh Postulates Dead Is Dog
Dyslexics Of The World, Untie!
Dyslexics Untie!

E
E-Mail
E-Mail Of The Species Is Deadlier Than The Mail
E-Mail That I Had Type A Blood Was A Type-O
E-Newspaper
E Pluribus Unum - Out Of Many, One
E-Reader
E Unum Pluribus The Octomom!
E.T. Phone Home [E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, 1982]
Each Generation Laughs At The Old Fashions, But Follows Religiously The New [H. Thoreau]
Each Misfortune Will Carry In It The Seed Of Tomorrow's Good Luck [Og Mandino]
Eagles May Soar, But Weasels Don't Get Sucked Into Jet Engines [Steven Wright]
Ear-Splitting Whispers
Ear-Splitting Whispers Of Unconcealed Ghosts Thundering Silently, Confront The Blind Man
Early Bird Catches The Worm
Early Bird May Get The Worm, But The Second Mouse Gets The Cheese [Steven Wright]
Early Bird Who Catches Worm Works For Late Sleeper Who Owns Worm Farm [Travis McGee]
135

Early To Bed & Early To Rise Makes A Man Healthy, Wealthy & Wise [Benjamin Franklin]
Early To Rise & Early To Bed, Makes A Man Healthy But Socially Dead
Early To Rise & Early To Bed, Makes A Man Rested But Socially Dead
Early To Bed, Early To Rise Makes People Suspicious
Ear-Splitting Whispers Of Unconcealed Ghosts Thundering Silently Engulfed Blind Man
EarMuffers Muffle Horribly Heavy Snores With 'Sleependous' Ear Plugs For Sleepmate
Earmuffs Should Be To The Deaf As Dark Glasses Are To The Blind, Or Not?
Earn Cash In Your Spare Time, Blackmail Your Friends
Earnings Relative To Production
Earth Angel
Earth First! - Well Strip Mine The Other Planets Later
Earth Is A Great Big Funhouse Without The Fun Well, Maybe Some
Earth Is The Inane Asylum Of The Universe
Earth Is The Insane Asylum Of The Universe
Earthquake In Washington, DC Laid On Fault Of Government
Earthstar
Earworm, A Truly Torturous Tune You Can't Get Out Of Your Head [Ohrwurm]
Earworm Or Corn Earworm [Heliothis Zea], A Corn Ear Blight Feeding On Silk & Kernels
Easier To Act A New Way Of Feeling Than Feel A New Way Of Acting [G. D. Morgan]
Easier To Be A Result Of The Past Than A Cause Of The Future
Easier To Change The Specification To Fit The Outcome Than Vice Versa
Easier To Fight For One's Principles Than To Live Up To Them [Alfred Adler]
Easier To Find Faults In Others Than Virtues In Oneself
Easier To Get Forgiveness For Being Wrong That Forgiveness For Being Right
Easier To Get Forgiveness Than Permission
Easier To Get Into Something Than Out
Easier To Get Older Than It Is To Get Wiser
Easier To Hear A Secret Than To Keep It
Easier To Love Humanity As A Whole Than To Love One's Neighbor [Eric Hoffer]
Easier To Resist At The Beginning Than At The End [Leonardo Da Vinci]
Easiest Way Out Has Already Been Mined By The Enemy
Easiest Way To Find Something Lost Is To Buy A Replacement
Easiest Way To Solve A Problem Is To Pick An Easy One
East Is East & West Is West
East Is East & West Is West & Never The Twain Shall Meet
East Is East & West Is West & Never The Twain Shall Meet, Mark My Words!
East To Sea, West To Land, Death To Girl Who Touches My Man!
East, West, Home's Best
Eastern Head Seeks Arms [Headline]
Eastalgia, Americanization Of Concocted German Word Ostalgie [Which See]
Easy Algebra
Easy As Taking Candy From A Baby
Easy As Taking Candy From A Baby Ain't So Easy
Easy Being Funny When The Whole Government's Working For You [Will Rogers]
Easy Come, Easy Go
Easy Directions
136

Easy Labor [Childbirth]

Easy Labor [Light Work]
Easy Money
Easy-Open Cap
Easy Payments
Easy Problem
Easy Task
Easy Things Don't Come Easily
Easy To Admit To Yourself You're Wrong, Difficult To Make Such Admissions To Others
Easy To Assemble
Easy To Follow Directions
Easy To Learn The Hard Way
Eat As Much As You Like, Just Don't Swallow It [Steve Burns]
Eat Breakfast Like A King, Lunch Like A Prince & Dinner Like A Pauper [Adelle Davis]
Eat Crackers In Bed For Crummy Sleep
Eat, Drink & Be Merry
Eat, Drink & Be Merry, For Tomorrow They May Make It Illegal
Eat, Drink & Be Merry, For Tomorrow We Die
Eat, Drink & Be Merry, For Tomorrow We Diet
Eat, Drink & Be Wary [FINRA On Financial Free Meals]
Eat, Drink & Make Mary
Eat, Drink & Make Merry
Eat Fast
Eat Fast, Make Up Your Mind
Eat Fast, Youll Be Late
Eat, Give Thanks, And Go Forth, In Apple-Pie Order! [Henry Ward Beecher On Apple Pie]
Eat His Body, Drink His Blood & Well Sing A Song Of Love [Sons Of God]
Eat Less, Taste More [Traditional Chinese Proverb]
Eat Less, Taste More & Avoid MSG [Non-Traditional Chinese Proverb]
Eat Like A Bird, Excrete Like A Horse! [Ess Vie Ein Foygl Sheise Vie Ein Ferd!]
Eat Little, Sleep Sound [Persian Proverb]
Eat Live Toad The First Thing In Morning & Nothing Worse Will Happen To You That Day
Eat My Pants
Eat My Shorts [Bart Simpson]
Eat My Shorts [Buy Victoria Secret Edible Panties & Be Sexy For Your Lover]
Eat N Park
Eat Nothing That Will Prevent You From Eating [Ibn Tibbon]
Eat, Pray, Don't Act Like An Unmensch! [Ess, Bench, Sei A Unmensch (Jerk)!]
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway [Bumper Sticker]
Eat Right - Stay Fit - Die Anyway!
Eat Standing, Eat Walking [Samoan Proverb]
Eat Well, Drink Better
Eat What You Kill
Eat What You Kill Medical Payment Model Evokes Macabre Cannibalistic Images
Eat What You Kill Medical Payment Model Opposed By Funeral Directors
Eat What You Kill Medical Payment Model Rewards Productivity & 'Over-Productivity'
137

Eat What You Kill Only [Facebook Founder Mark Zuckerberg Professed Meat Diet]
Eat Your Heart Out, I Still Fit Into My High School Ear Rings
Eat Your Vegetables For Fiber & Good Bowel Movements
Eating Words Has Never Given Me Indigestion [Winston Churchill]
Eats Soup With A Fork & Peas With A Knife
Eaves Dropper
Ebbing Tide
Eco-Fashion
Eco-Friendly Oil
ecoChic Resale Boutique, Robinson, PA
Economic Forecast
Economic Reform
Economic Science
Economic Stability
Economic Vacuums Attract Industry
Economical Car
Economics Is Extremely Useful As A Form Of Employment For Economists [Galbraith]
Economist Knows Tomorrow Why What He Predicted Yesterday Didnt Happen Today
Economist Tells You What To Do With Your Money After You've Spent It
Economists Herd Instinct Makes Sheep Look Like Independent Thinkers
Economy Car
Economy Drive
Economy Goes Up & Down When Country Run By Yo-Yo's
Ecstasy, A Feeling Of Elated Bliss You Feel You'll Feel That You've Never Felt Before
Ecstasy: Methylenedioxymethamphetamine, An Illicit Drug Inducing Such A Feeling
Edible Panties
Edible Panties, A Snatch Snack Appetizer
Edible Panties By Victoria Secret Makes You Sexy For Your Lover
Editing Is A Rewording Activity [Alan J. Perlis]
Editing Is A Rewording Activity Found Rewarding By Some
Editors Correct Intentional Errors, But Fail To Correct Unintentional Ones
Educated Consumer
Educated Guess
Educated Illiterate
Educated Legislator
Education Casts 'False Pearls Before Real Swine' [Irwin Edman]
Education Is The Kindling Of A Flame, Not The Filling Of A Vessel [Socrates]
Education Is The Path From Cocky Ignorance To Miserable Uncertainty
Educational Administration
Educational Television
Educational TV
Educators Need Not Be Entertaining, Nor Need Entertainers Be Educational
Educators Need Not Be Entertaining, Nor Need Entertainers Be Educational, But They Help!
Eels' Feet
Eeny, Meeny, Jelly Beanie, The Spirits Are About To Speak! [Bullwinkle]
Effect Of Gamma Rays On Man-In-The-Moon Marigolds [Paul Zindel]
138

Effective Bureaucrat
Effective Compassion
Efficient Bureaucracy
Effort Only Fully Releases Its Reward After A Person Refuses To Quit [Napoleon Hill]
Egg Laying Mammal
Egg On
Egg On His Face
Egg On Our Face For Eggless Eggplants, Hamless Hamburgers & Dogless Hotdogs
Egghead Is What Mrs. Dumpty Gives Humpty
Eggplant
Eggplant Is Egg-Less, Nor Can You Plant An Egg
Egg-zactly [MacGyver]
Egotist Is Someone More Interested In Himself Than In Me
Egotists Are Not Gossips!
Egotists Are Usually Me-Deep In Conversation
Egotists Coupling Is An I For An I
Egyptian Teen Was Mortified When She Discovered Her Dad Was A Mummy, & Mummified!
Eh?\>, The Canadian DOS Prompt
Eighty Percent Of Married Men Cheat In America, The Rest Cheat In Europe [Jackie Mason]
Eighty Percent Of Air Pollution Comes From Plants & Trees [Ronald Reagan]
Eighty Percent Of Success Is Showing Up
Ein Stein: If You Drink From This Mug, You Become An Einstein [Jim Loy/Piers Anthony]
Eisenhower's Only Vice Was Nixon (& Perhaps Kay Summersby)
Either A Butt Or A Fart [Oder A Klop, Oder A Forts]
Either All Or Nothing [Oder Gor Oder Gornisht]
Either We're Alone In Universe Or We're Not, Both Are Equally Terrifying [Arthur C. Clarke]
Either You Or Your Head Must Be Off ... Take Your Choice [Alice - Red Queen]
Either You Run The Day Or The Day Runs You [Jim Rohn]
Ejaculant From One Human Ejaculation Has More Sperms Than The U.S. Has People
Elastic Demand
Elastic Supply
Elbow Grease
Elected King
Elections Are Very Important, Sex Only Happen When A Male Gets Exalted In An Election
Electric Chair Modeled After Dental Chair By Dentist Alfred Southwick In 1880's
Electric Company: 'Delighted To Get Your Payment. However, If We Don't, You Will Be
Electricians Must Pass A Battery Of Tests
Electrical Engineers Do It With Less Resistance
Electricity Is Fluid [Nearly Dead Or Idiomatic Metaphor]
Electrolux Vacuum From Scandinavian Used In US Slogan 'Nothing Sucks Like An Electrolux'
Electronic Book
Electronic Mail
Electrons Who Lose Their Energy Get Bohr'ed
Electroshock Therapy
Electrosmog
Elegant Violence [Rugby]
139

Elementary Algebra
Elementary Calculus
Elementary Complexities
Elementary My Dear Einstein, Like Einsteinium In Tom Lehrer's Elements Song:
*There's Antimony, Arsenic, Aluminum, Selenium,
*& Hydrogen & Oxygen & Nitrogen & Rhenium,
*& Nickel, Neodymium, Neptunium, Germanium,
*& Iron, Americium, Ruthenium, Uranium,
*Europium, Zirconium, Lutetium, Vanadium,
*& Lanthanum & Osmium & Astatine & Radium,
*& Gold & Protactinium & Indium & Gallium,
*& Iodine & Thorium & Thulium & Thallium.
*There's Yttrium, Ytterbium, Actinium, Rubidium,
*& Boron, Gadolinium, Niobium, Iridium,
*& Strontium & Silicon & Silver & Samarium,
*& Bismuth, Bromine, Lithium, Beryllium, & Barium....
*There's Holmium & Helium & Hafnium & Erbium,
*& Phosphorus & Francium & Fluorine & Terbium,
*& Manganese & Mercury, Molybdenum, Magnesium,
*Dysprosium & Scandium & Cerium & Cesium.
*& Lead, Praseodymium, & Platinum, Plutonium,
*Palladium, Promethium, Potassium, Polonium,
*& Tantalum, Technetium, Titanium, Tellurium,
*& Cadmium & Calcium & Chromium & Curium.
*There's Sulfur, Californium, & Fermium, Berkelium,
*& Also Mendelevium, Einsteinium, Nobelium,
*& Argon, Krypton, Neon, Radon, Xenon, Zinc, & Rhodium,
*& Chlorine, Carbon, Cobalt, Copper, Tungsten, Tin, & Sodium
*These Are The Only Ones Of Which The News Has Come To Ha'vard,
*There May Be Many Others, But They Haven't Been Discavard
Elementary My Dear Watson
Elementary, My Dear Watson, Elementary [P. G. Wodehouse, Psmith, Journalist]
Elementary Physics
Elementary School
Elephant Design Committee
Elephantine Economist [Grover Cleveland When Topping Scales At 250 Pounds]
Elephants, Please Stay In Your Car [Safari Park Sign]
Elephants They Say Never Forget, But What Have They Got To Remember?
Elevated Subway
Elevator Operator Is My Dad, He Brought Me Up, Didn't I?
Elevator Passengers In Constant Motion To Maintain Equi-Distances Between Them
Elevator Shoes
Elevators Make Ghosts Happy Because They Lift The Spirits
Elevators Smell Different To Midgets
Eleven-Inch Foot-Long Subway Sub Sandwich [New York Post]
Eleven-Inch Foot-Long Subway Sub Sandwich Was Half-Vast Hero
140

Eliminated Impossible, What Remains, However Improbable, Must Be True [Sherlock Holmes]
Elite Rabble
Ellis [Bush II For Chuck Schumer, Democratic Senator, New York]
Eloi, Eloi, Lama Sabachthani? [My God, My God, Why Have You Forsaken/Abandoned Me?]
Eloquent Babble
Eloquent Depravity
Eloquent Silence
Eloquent Silence, Two Mouths Meeting In A Kiss
Embezzling Auditor
Emergence By Emergency, When Ideas Are Needed Badly Enough They Emerge [R.B. Fuller]
Emergencies Are Anticipated [Expected But No Foreknowledge]
Emergencies Are Anticipated [Through Beforehand Precognitive Foreknowledge]
Emergencies Are Not Anticipated
Emergency, Of Which You Shall Receive Due & Timely Notice
Emergency Room
Emergency Stopping - Two Hours [Indiana Toll Road]
Emigrate To Canada Dry (For The Sake Of Your Scotch)
Emotion Is Kirk's Way Of Letting Spock Know How Sloppy Vulcan Intuition Is
Emotional Reasoning
Empathy You Feel With A Person, Sometimes After Feeling Sympathy For The Person
Empiric Treatment
Empirical Data
Empirical Law
Emperor Has No Clothes
Emperors New Clothes Modeled By Lady Godiva
Employees All Begin At Their Level Of Competence
Employees In Every Post Tend To Be Incompetent To Execute Their Duties
Employees Like Mules, Some Coax With Carrot & Some Kick In Ass, But Which Is Which?
Employees Tends To Rise To Their Level Of Incompetence
Emptiness Has Filled My Heart [Eternal Tears Of Sorrow]
Emptiness Is Filling Me [Metallica, 'Fade To Black']
Empty Desk Is A Sign Of An Empty Mind
Empty Fullness [Mignon McLaughlin]
Empty Hands Are Dirty Hands Where Generosity Is Concerned
Empty Load
Empty Lots
Empty Space
Empty Stomach
Empty Stomach Is Not A Good Political Adviser [Albert Einstein]
Empty Vessels Make The Most Noise
Empurpled Literature
End Head
End Is Drawing Near To Give Way To A New Beginning
End Is Just The Beginning!
End Justified Not By Mean Means
End Justifies The Means ['Exitus Acta Probat' - Ovid, Heroides Circa 10 BC]
141

End Of Infinity
End Of The Beginning
End Of The Universe
End Of Time
End Remembering The Beginning
End Tracks
Endangered Bird Eats Endangered Fish who ate Endangered Snail
Endeavor To So Live That When You Die Even The Undertaker Will Be Sorry
Endless Buffet 4-6 PM
Endless Hour
Endless Loop
Endless Loop Endless Loop Endless Loop Endless Loop Endless Loop Endless Loop ...
Endless Night
Enema Monument In Russia Honoring That Procedure Administered 'Nearly Every Day'
Enemy Is Sometimes Nothing More Than A Friend Who Got Wise To You
Enemy Isnt Conservatism, The Enemy Isnt Liberalism, The Enemy Is Bullshit
Energetic Exhaustion
Energizer Bunny Arrested, Charged With Battery
Energizer Bunny Arrested, Charged With Battery & Over Acting
Energy & Persistence Conquer All Things [Benjamin Franklin]
Energy Drinks, Beverages That Purportedly Boost Mental & Physical Energy
Energy Drink, To Drunkard Is Booze & To Auto Is Gas
Energy Energizes
Enfields Couple Slain In Field, Police Suspect Homicide [Headline - Duh!]
Engage! [Jean-Luc Picard - Star Trek: TNG]
Engaged Has Gag' At Its Center!
Engaged Peg Legged Sailor Had It Broken Off
Engagement: Part Before Gal Says 'Shore Do!' & Preacher Says 'Go To!' [Li'l Abner]
England & America Are Two Countries Separated By A Common Language [G.B. Shaw]
England & Great Britain Are Synecdoches For The Entire United Kingdom [UK]
England Has Liverpool, But Still Needs Kidney Bank
English Chinaware
English Gourmet
English Is A Living Language [Sarah Palin]
English Is Our Language - No Excetions - Learn It [Crestwood Mayor Chester Stranczek]
English Is Our Language: Village Of Crestwood Is In Illinois & Stranczek Is Polish Name
English Muffins Weren't Invented In England, Nor French Fries In France
English Orange Juice Eye-Opener Slogan Nixed In US: Orange Juice. It Gets Pecker Up'
English Organ Bank Is Liverpool
English Speaker Of House Not Allowed To Speak
English Speakers Should Be Committed To An Asylum For The Verbally Inane
English Splinglish
English Syntax
Englishman's Home Is His Castle
Enjoy Little Things, One Day You May Realize They Were The Big Things [Robert Brault]
Enjoy The Flavor Of Life, Take Big Bites
142

Enjoy When You Can, & Endure When You Must [Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe]
Enjoy Your Own Life Without Comparing It With The Lives Of Others
Enlighten Us, What's The Speed Of Dark?
Enlightenment Means Taking Full Responsibility For Your Life [William Blake]
Enola [Gay Romanian Magazine]
Enola Gay [A-Bomb Bomber - Named For Pilot's Mom]
Enormously Small
Enough Is As Good As A Feast
Enough Is Enough
Enough Is Enough, Unless Of Course You're A Nymphomaniac!
Enough Is Never Enough
Enough Time
Enought Fighting! Lets All Have A Smurfy Day! [Papa Smurf]
Enquiring Minds
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax [Headline - Elsie, You're Udderly Mad!]
Enrapture Enwrapped The Regally Enrobed Regent
Enrobe The Nuts With Chocolate & Cherry
Enron CEO & Chairman Kenneth Laid Them All!
Entrepreneurs Fail 3.8 Times Before They Succeed
Enterprise's Five Year Mission Was Cut Short By An Outbreak Of Chicken Spocks!
Entertaining News
Entertaining Sermon
Entertainment News
Entenmanns Cakes & Thomas English Muffins Owned By Mexicos Grupo Bimbo, SAB
Entenmann's Cakes Are Jewish (Especially Coffee), Hostess Cakes Are Goyish [Kosher Bang]
Enthusiasm For Criticism & Criticism For Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm Is A Kind Of Faith That Has Been Set On Fire [George Matthew Adams]
Enthusiastic Indifference
Entire Portion
Entities Must Not Be Multiplied Beyond Necessity [Occam's Razor]
Entities Must Not Be Reduced To The Point Of Inadequacy [Karl Menger]
Entomophobia, Genus Of Autogamous Self-Fertilizing Orchids Meaning 'Fear Of Insects'
Entrepreneur & Exhibitionist Would Rather Be A Spectacular Failure Than A Dismal Success
Entrepreneurial Journalist
Entropy, Everything Is Cold Except What Should Be
Entropy Has Us Outnumbered
Entropy Isn't What It Used To Be
Environmentalist Bumper Sticker
Environmentally Sensitive Development
Envy Breeds Hate
Envy Is An Insult To Oneself
EPA - Emissions Permissions Agency
EPA - Employment Prevention Agency
EPA - Environmental Protection Agency
Epidurals Are God's Way Of Forgiving Us For That Apple Business [Janice Ford]
Epigram Is Only A Wisecrack That's Played At Carnegie Hall [Oscar Levant]
143

Epileptic Lettuce Farmer Makes 'Seizure Salad'

Epiphany Not An I Pity Me
Epitome Of Epidemy
Epitome Of The Atypical
Epitome Of The Unique
Eponyms Include Achilles' Heel & Adam's Apple
Equal Deprivation
Equal Housing
Equal Justice
Equal Justice For All
Equal Opportunity
Equal Sequel
Equality Is An Ethical & Not A Biological Principle [Ashley Montagu]
Equality Is Not When A Female Einstein Gets Promoted To Assistant Professor
Equality Is When Female Schlemiels Advances As Fast As Male Schlemiels
Equally Different
Equally Diverse
Equator Sewage [Bleeped On tosh.O]
Equator Sewage - Hot Waste Or Slut From South Of The Border (Way South)?
Equinophobia & Hippophobia - Fear Of Eohippus & Its Modern Decendants Horses
Era Of Good Feelings President [James Monroe]
Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile Dysgenesis
Ergo-Friendly Keyboard
Ergonomic Keyboard
Erotic Erratica
Erratic Erotica
Erratica Brings Brains & Loins Together With A Dash Of Intellectual Neurosis [Review]
Error Become A Mistake Only When You Choose To Ignore It
Error: Keyboard Not Attached. Press F1 To Continue
Error Message: Keyboard Not Attached - Press F1 To Continue
Error Message: Unable To Exit Windows, Try Door
Errors Have Been Made - Others Will Be Blamed!
Escalators Never Break, They Become Stairs
Escape To Which Mountain? Witch Mountain
Escape To Witch Mountain
Escaped Inmate
Escaped Prisoner
Escargot Is French For 'Fat Crawling Bag Of Phlegm' [Dave Barry]
Eschew Obfuscation [William Safire]
Eskimo Goes To Tupperware Party To Find A Tight Seal
Eskimo Is Algonquian Name For Inuits, Meaning Eaters Of Raw Flesh, Especially Seal
Eskimo Kiss
Eskimo Kiss, Give Me Some Nose Baby!
Eskimo's Homeland Is Nunavut Explained The Inuit Of Nunavut!
Eskimo's True Name Is Inuit, The People; Algonquians 'Outuit' For Not Calling Them Inuit
144

Esprit d'Escalier Your Perfect Retort Only Trips You On The Staircase On Your Way Out
Espouse Elucidation & Eschew Obfuscation!
Esquire Minus The E That Leaves The Horse Play The Squire!
Essential Frill
Essential Luxury
Essential Service
Essentially Useless
Established Technology Tends To Persist In Spite Of Newer Better Technology
Esteemed Colleague
Et Tu, Brute?
Etc. [Et Cetera: More Of The Same]
Eternal Boredom Is The Price Of Constant Vigilance
Eternal Life
Eternal Optimist
Eternal Truth In A Changing Universe?
Eternally Transient
Ethical Attorney
Ethical Bank
Ethical Flexibility
Ethical Hackers
Ethical Level Sunk To By Investment Banker Skunks
Ethical Malware
Ethics Committee
Ethiopian Feast
Ethiopian Food
Ethnic Cleansing
Euphemisms Include Restroom For Shit House (Oops! Toilet) & BM Or #2 For Doo-Doo
Euro Blows Up & Sucks, PIIGS Made Pigtailed Euro Babe Quit Blowing & Sucking For Euros
Euro Sucked-Up By Euro GPS System [Robert Farago]
European Community
Eurostar, Asked The Tourist? No, Just Been On TV That One Time...
Euthanasia
Evaluate Woman & Melon At The Nipple
Evaluation Measures
Evaluative Measures
Evangelical Jew
Evaporated Liquid
Evaporated Milk
Even A Broken Clock Is Right Twice A Day
Even A Fool Must Now And Then Be Right
Even A Good Marriage Is A Time Of Trial
Even A Hawk Is An Eagle Among Crows
Even A Stopped Analog Clock Is Right Twice A Day
Even A Worm Will Turn
Even At MENSA Conventions Someone Is Dumbest Person In Room
Even For Bad Luck One Needs Luck
145

Even Frankenstein Has A Human Heart

Even If Im Not Asleep, That Doesn't Mean Im Awake
Even If They Already Know Everything, Teens Need A High School Education
Even If You're On Right Track, You'll Get Run Over If You Just Sit There [Will Rogers]
Even Odd
Even Odds
Even-Odds Single Probabilities
Even Paranoids Have Enemies
Even Popeye Didn't Eat His Spinach Until He Absolutely Had To
Even Samurai Have Teddy Bears & Even Teddy Bears Get Drunk
Even The Best Knitter Can Drop A Stitch
Even The Best Swimmer Can Drown
Even The Boldest Zebra Fears The Hungry Lion
Even The Busiest People Are Never Too Busy To Tell You Just How Busy They Are?
Even The Best Of Friends Cannot Attend Each Other's Funeral [Kehlog Albran]
Even Though Teenagers Already Know Everything, They Need Higher School For Show
Evening News Starts With 'Good Evening' & Then Tells You Why It Isn't
Eventually, An Idea Always Comes & Then The Rest Is Science [Steve Swallow]
Ever Notice That What The Hell' Is Always The Right Decision?
Ever Seen A Fully Clothed Person In A Nudist Colony?
Ever Stop To Think & Forget To Start Again?
Ever Tried, Ever Failed? No Matter. Try Again, Fail Again. Fail Better! [Samuel Beckett]
Ever Wonder If Illiterate People Get The Full Effect Of Alphabet Soup?
Ever Wonder What They Call A Pocket Calculator In A Nudist Camp?
Every Absurdity Has A Champion Who Will Defend It
Every Argument Has Two Sides Unless One's Mind Is Already Made Up
Every Burned Book Enlightens The World [Ralph Waldo Emerson]
Every Calling Is Great When Greatly Pursued [Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.]
Every Child Begins The World Anew
Every Closed Eye Is Not Sleeping, And Every Open Eye Is Not Seeing
Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining
Every Crown Is Made For A Head, But Not Every Head Is Made For A Crown
Every Day Above Ground Is A Good Day
Every Day From Here To There Funny Things Are Everywhere [Dr. Seuss]
Every Day In Every Way Im Getting Better & Better
Every Day, In Every Way, Things Get Better & Better, Then Worsen In The Evening
Every Day Is President's Day When You Have An Intern! [David Letterman]
Every Director Bites The Hand That Lays The Golden Egg [Samuel Goldwyn]
Every Dog Has Its Day
Every Dog Has His Day & You Missed Yours
Every Exit Is An Entry Somewhere Else [Tom Stoppard]
Every Failure Carries With It The Seed Of An Equivalent Or Greater Benefit [Napoleon Hill]
Every Four Seconds A Woman Has A Baby, We Must Find Her & Stop Her
Every Generalization Is False, Including This One
Every Generation Laughs At The Old Fashions, But Follows Religiously The New [Thoreau]
Every Good Friend Once Was A Stranger
146

Every Good Story [& Quote] Deserves To Be Embellished [Gandalf]

Every Human Problem Has A Neat, Simple Solution & It's Always Wrong
Every Jack Has His Jill
Every Job Is A Self-Portrait Of The Person Who Did It
Every Kind Action Has A Not-So-Kind Or Different Kind Of Reaction
Every Little Helps
Every Little Bit Helps
Every Man Desires To Live Long, But No Man Would Be Old [Jonathan Swift]
Every Man Dies, But Not Every Man Really Lives [Braveheart]
Every Man For Himself, & The Devil Take The Hindmost
Every Man Has A Scheme That Will Not Work
Every Man Has His Price
Every Man Has His Price, Mine Is Illegal, Immoral Or Fattening
Every Man Is Guilty Of All The Good He Did Not Do [Voltaire]
Every Man Needs A Wife As Things Go Wrong That Can't Be Blame On The Government.
Every Man Needs To Be Loved, Especially When He Doesn't Deserve It
Every Man Should Marry, After All Happiness Isn't Everything
Every Moment Matters
Every Moment Requires A Purpose, Every Purpose Requires A Plan [Star Trek, TNG]
Every Morning At 6 AM Farmer's Cock Wakes Me Up & It's Getting Too Hard
Every Morning Is The Dawn Of A New Era
Every Morning Is The Dawn Of A New Error
Every Mystery Solved Brings Us To The Threshold Of A Greater One [Rachel Carson]
Every Noble Work Is At First Impossible
Every Person Is A Fool In Somebody's Opinion [Spanish Proverb]
Every Picture Tells A Story
Every Problem Breeds New Solutions
Every Purchase Has Its Price
Every Right Carries A Responsibility, Just Once Demand Your Responsibility!
Every Saint Has A Past & Every Sinner A Future
Every Sinner Has A Past & Every Saint A Future
Every Snowflake In An Avalanche Pleads Not Guilty [Stanislaw J. Lec]
Every Solution Breeds New Problems
Every Sperm is Sacred [Monty Python]
Every Sperm is Sacred No Sperm Left Behind Or In One!
Every Stick Has Two Ends
Every Sweet Has Its Sour [Ralph Waldo Emerson]
Every Time A Bell Rings, An Angel Gets His Wings [It's A Wonderful Life, 1946]
Every Time I Hear The Word 'Exercise,' I Wash My Mouth Out With Chocolate
Every Time I See Her, It Just Eats Me Inside Out
Every Time I Think Ive Hit The Bottom, Someone Lends Me A Shovel
Every Time You Come To My Mind, I Realize Im Smiling
Every Time You Conceive A Terrific Idea, You Find It Has Already Been Conceived
Every Wall Is A Door [Ralph Waldo Emerson]
Every Way Up Has Its Way Down
Every Way Up Has Its Way Down, Alive Or Dead
147

Every Which Way

Every Which Way But Loose [Clint Eastwood]
Every Witch Way
Everyone
Everyone Believes In Heredity Until Their Children Act Like Fools
Everyone Believes Very Easily Whatever He Fears Or Desires [Jean De La Fontaine]
Everyone Cries & Everyone Hurts, Sometimes [REM]
Everyone Feels Lonely [Jeff Olson]
Everyone Generalizes
Everyone Gets Butterflies - The Trick Is Getting Them To Fly In Formation
Everyone Has A Photographic Memory, Most Don't Have Film & Havent Yet Been Digitized
Everyone Has A Plan Until They Get Hit [Mike Tyson]
Everyone Has A Scheme For Getting Rich That Will Not Work
Everyone Has A Scheme For Getting Rich Without Working
Everyone Has The Right To Be Stupid, But You Are Abusing The Privilege!
Everyone Has Within Him The Wild, Uncontrollable Urge To Punt
Everyone In The Office Is Sick, Apparently, It Is A Staff Infection
Everyone Is Beautiful If You Squint A Bit
Everyone Is Entitled To Be Stupid, But Some Abuse The Privilege
Everyone Is Entitled To His Own Opinion, But Not His Own Facts [Daniel Patrick Moynihan]
Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion
Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It's Just That Yours Is Stupid
Everyone Is Ignorant, Only On Different Subjects [Will Rogers]
Everyone Is Somebody Else's Weirdo [Dilbert]
Everyone Just Pretends To Be Normal
Everyone Leaves The World A Little Better, Some By Leaving It
Everyone Lies, But It Doesn't Matter As Nobody Listens
Everyone Looked Bewildered, Wondering How They Got There [Pittsburgh]
Everyone Makes Mistakes, The Trick Is To Make Them When Nobody Is Looking
Everyone Must Row With The Oars He Has [English Saying]
Everyone Needs To Believe In Something, I Believe I Need Another Beer
Everyone On The Premises Is A Vegetarian Except The Dog (& Me-At Snack Time)
Everyone Seeks Heaven, But Nobody Seeks Death
Everyone Seems Normal Until You Get To Know Them
Everyone Should Believe In Something, I Believe I'll Have Another Coffee
Everyone Should Believe In Something, I Believe I Need A Drink
Everybody Should Major In Economics [Jim Rohn]
Everyone Should Major In Economics Except Economists Who Should Major In Reality
Everyone Thinks Im Psychotic, Except For My Invisible Friends
Everyone Thinks Of Changing The World, But Not Changing Himself [Leo Tolstoy]
Everyone Wants To Go To Heaven, Yet Nobody Wants To Die To Get There
Everyone Who Got Where He Is Had To Begin Where He Was [Richard L. Evans]
Everyone Who Is For Abortion Has Already Been Born [Ronald Reagan]
Everyone Writes On The Walls Except Me [Pompeii Graffiti]
Everyone 's A Genius Just Being Themselves [Thelonious Monk]
Everyone's A Vegetarian In Our House, Except The Dog Who's Fed Corn Meal
148

Everything Bows To Success, Even Grammar

Everything Breaks Down & Some Things Break Up
Everything Comes To Him Who Hustles While He Waits [Thomas Edison]
Everything Comes To Him Who Waits
Everything Costs More & Takes Longer
Everything Depends
Everything Depends; Nothing Is Always; Everything Is Sometimes
Everything Depends On Everything Else
Everything Except
Everything Fun On The Internet Is Either Illegal, Immoral, Fattening Or Infantile
Everything Happens At The Same Time With Nothing In Between
Everything Has Its Beauty But Not Everyone Sees It [Kong-Fu-Tse [Confucius] 551-479BC]
Everything In Excess Except Excise Taxes!
Everything Is Funny As Long As It Is Happening To Somebody Else [Will Rogers]
Everything In Moderation - Including Moderation [Harvey Steiman]
Everything Is A Repost - No Exceptions!
Everything Is In A State Of Utter Dishevelment
Everything Is In Walking Distance If You Have The Time, The Equipment & Walk On Water
Everything Is Okay In The End, If It's Not Ok, Then It's Not The End
Everything Is Relative
Everything Is Satisifactual
Everything Is Satisifactually Factual
Everything Is So Random There Must Be A Pattern
Everything Passes; Everything Wears Out; Everything Breaks [French Proverb]
Everything Put Together Sooner Or Later Falls Apart
Everything Should Be Made As Simple As Possible, But Not Simpler [Albert Einstein]
Everything Takes Longer Than You Think
Everything Takes More Time & Money
Everything Tastes Like Chicken Except Chicken Which Tastes Like Fish! [Hobbit Movie Trolls]
Everything That Can Be Invented Has Been Invented [U.S. Patent Commissioner Duell 1899]
Everything That Goes Up Does An Outer Spacey Theorem!
Everything That Goes Up Must Come Down - A Grave Gravitative Reaction
Everything That Goes Up Must Come Down, Before The V2 &/Or Sputnik I [1946 & 1957]
Everything That Goes Up Must Come Down, Plus Maybe Nuclear Test Steel Cap [1957]
Everything Youre Looking For Lies Behind The Mask You Wear [Stephen C. Paul]
Everything Was Mighty Satisfactual [Uncle Remus]
Everywhere Is Walking Distance If You Have The Time [Steven Wright]
Everywhere Is Walking Distance In Downtown Pittsburgh
Evocative, Eclectic & Electric
Ev'rything Is Satisifactual
Evil Evo [4G]
Evil Is Live Spelled Backwards
Evil Isn't All Bad
Evil Never Done So Cheerfully As When Done From Religious Conviction [Blaise Pascal]
Evil Never Done So Completely As When Done From Religious Conviction [Blaise Pascal]
Evolution Not Revolution [Princess Ameerah Al-Taweel On Saudi Womens Rights]
149

Evolutionary Fact
Evolutionary Technology
Evolutionary Theory
Ex Cathedra Fallibility
Ex-Girl Friend & I Could Never Have Worked As Im A Pisces & Shes A Bitch
Ex-Stink, Inc. - Sewer & Drainage [Chicagoland]
Exacerbating Helper
Exact Approximation
Exact Difference
Exact Estimate
Exact Estimation
Exact Opposite
Exactly Wrong
Exaggerated Opinion
Exaggeration Is A Billion Times Worse Than Understatement
Exaketededly What Is Your Problem? Im Exaketededly Three Inches High [Alice-Caterpillar]
Exalt Shoddy Philosophy Over Good Plumbing & Neither Pipes Nor Theories Will Hold Water
Exalted Eulogy
Examine What Is Said Not Who Speaks, Unless He Has Forked Tongue
Exasperating Cuteness
Excalibur In Excelsior
Excellence Is Not A Sometime Thing [Vince Lombardi]
Excellence Is Not An Act But A Habit, We Are What We Repeatedly Do [Aristotle]
Excelsior Cavern
Except For 75% Of Women, Everyone In The Whole World Wants To Have Sex
Except For The Exceptions There Are No Exceptions
Exception That Proves The Rule
Exceptionally Unpleasant
Exceptions TEST Rules, They NEVER PROVE Them
Excess Profits
Excessive Compensation
Excessive Confidence
Excessive Corrections
Excessively Excess, Your Excesses Are Excessive
Excessively Gluttonous
Excommunicated Priest
Excruciating Discomfit
Excruciating Pain
Excruciating Pleasure
Excuse Me For Butting In, But I'm Interrupt-Driven
Excuse Me? I Happen To Be Genuinely Self-Absorbed & Deeply Shallow [Fiyero Tiggular]
Excuse Me While I 'Slip Into Something A Little Bit More ... Comfortable?' [Madeline Kahn]
Excuses Are Easiest Things To Manufacture & Hardest To Sell
Execute On The Firm's Axes: Goldman Sachs Pushing Its Dogs On Its Clients
Execution Stopped - Lethal Injection Needle Not Sterilized!
Executive Assistant
150

Executive Decision
Executive Secretary
Executive Summary
Exemplary Behavior
Exemplary Jail Sentence
Exercise Is Dirty Word, When I Hear It I Wash My Mouth Out With Chocolate [Chas Schultz]
Exercise Program Highlights It's Periods Of Active Rest
Exit Interview
Exit Signs Are On The Way Out!
Exorcist Defaulters Get Repossessed
Exorcist Repossessed Deadbeat Client
Exorcist Repossessed Priorly Possessed Patron For Non-Processable Payment
Exorcists Who Go Unpaid Repossess Their Clients
Exoskeleton
Expanded Basic
Expanding Possibilities [Hewlett Packard]
Expansion Means Growth & Complexity, Complexity Means Decay
Expansionary Gap
Expect Surprises
Expect The Unexpected
Expect The Unexpected, Make The Unexpected Expected
Expected Serendipity
Expected Surprise [Ludwig Wittgenstein]
Expected Surprises Absence Was A Surprise
Expecting The Unexpected Makes The Unexpected The Expected
Expectorating Expectant Mom
Expedience Is The Best Teacher
Expedient Lane Changer
Expedient Line Charger, The Old Chow Line Hustler
Expenditure Rises To Meet Income [Cyril Northcote Parkinson]
Expenditures Raise To Meet Revenues No Matter What
Expensive Is Cheap
Experience & Advice To Share Is My Forte, Especially 'I Told You So!'
Experience Comes After You Need It, From Having Needed It
Experience Enables You To Recognize A Mistake When You Make It Again [Franklin P. Jones]
Experience Is A Good Teacher, But She Sends In Horrendous Bills
Experience Is A Hard Teacher As The Tests Come Before The Lessons
Experience Is Obtained From Working, Work Is Only Obtainable If You Have Experience
Experience Is Something You Don't Get Until Just After You Need It
Experience Is The Best Teacher
Experience Is The Comb We Receive After Weve Lost Our Hair
Experience Is The Name Everyone Gives To Their Mistakes [Oscar Wilde]
Experience Is The One Thing You Have Plenty Of When You're Too Old To Get The Job
Experience Is What A Man Does With What Happens To Him [Aldous Huxley]
Experience Is What Enables You To Recognize A Mistake When Repeated [Earl Wilson]
Experience Is What You Get When You Don't Get What You Want [Dan Stanford]
151

Experience Join'd With Common Sense, To Mortals Is A Providence [John Green]

Experience Varies Directly With Equipment Ruined
Experience, Which Destroys Innocence, Also Leads One Back To It [James Arthur Baldwin]
Experienced Beginner
Experienced Waiter Can Give A Lot Of Good Tips While Seeking Tips
Experiment That Works Means You Must Be Using The Wrong Equipment
Experiments Are Never Complete Failures, They Become Negative Examples
Experiments Should Be Reproducible. They Should All Fail In The Same Way
Expert Amateur
Expert Is One That Has Made All Mistakes Possible In A Narrow Field Of Expertise [Einstein]
Expert Is One Who Made Three Consecutive Correct Guesses
Expert Is Someone From Out Of Town
Expert Is The One Who Predicts Job Will Take Longest & Cost Most
Expert, One Who Knows More & More About Less & Less Until He Knows All About Nothing
Expert Pronouncements That A Thing Cant Be Done Have Always Annoyed Me [Leo Szilard]
Experts Are Persons Who Are At Least Thirty Miles Away From Home
Experts Are Persons Who Know Enough To Know They Dont Know Everything [B.J. Lipson]
Experts Are Persons Who Know More & More About Less & Less
Experts Are Persons Who Think Before They Speak, But Speak Anyhow
Experts Avoid The Small Errors While Sweeping On To The Grand Fallacies
Experts Can Tell You What Can't Be Done & Why
Experts Knows More & More About Less & Less, Until They Know Everything About Nothing
Experts Take Understandable Subjects & Make Them Sound Confusing
Expired Life Term
Explanations Nobody Can Misunderstand, Will Be Misunderstood
Explanation Requiring Fewest Assumptions Is Most Likely To Be Correct
Expletive Deleted
Expletive Deleted [Ah! F*ck!]
Explicit Innuendo
Explicitly Ambiguous
Exploding College Dorm Sent A Lot Of Roomers Flying
Exploit The Inevitable
Exploit The Inevitable, Take Credit For Everything Good That Happens
Exploitasian Exploitation Of Asians
Exponential Curve
Expose Yourself To Criticism, A Fine Polish Requires An Abrasive [Marilyn Vos Savant]
Explosive Alarm Clock, Guaranteed Never To Wake Anyone That Uses It [Q To 007]
Express Bus
Express It Dont Stress It!
Express Lane: Five Beers Or Less [Sign Over Bar]
Express Lane: Five Beers Or More [Sign Over Bar Urinal]
Express Line
Express Mail
Express Ways
Expressive Silence [James Thomson]
Exquisite Miss Piggy
152

Exquisite Nonsense [Sydney Smith]

Exquisite Pain
Exstink Causes Extinction [Colbert Report On Dino Farts]
Extended Deadline
Extended Limits
Extensive Briefing
External Income
Externalities - Transaction Spillovers
Externality Of Fracking Is A) Prosperity; B) Pollution; Or C) Population Growth?
Externality Of Honey Production Is Bees Pollination Of Surrounding Crops POSITIVE
Externality Of Pulp Mill Is Polluting The Air & Water In Its Watershed Area NEGATIVE
Externality Of Smoking Is Sickening Others With Second Hand Smoke - NEGATIVE
Externality Of Technology Spillover From Space Race Is Advanced Technology POSITIVE
Externally A Female Buddha, Internally A Female Devil
Extinct Is Forever [Friends Of Animals]
Extinct Life
Extinct Life Form
Extinguishing Your Parents Was Unsuccessful So They Were Extinguished [Colbert Report]
Extra Dark
Extra Large Shrimp
Extra Mile: Waters Down Going The Second Mile To Simply Meaning Giving A Little More
Extra Money
Extra Ordinary
Extra Small
Extra Time
Extra Virgin
Extra Virgin Olive Oil From First Squeezing
Extractive Institutions, Rule By/For Powerful, Rob Country Of Prosperity [Acemoglu & Robinson]
Extraordinary, The Extra That Make Us More Than Ordinary
Extreme Pacifist [Bones]
Extremely Average
Extremely Bland
Extremely Neutral
Extremely Normal
Extremists Aren't Dumb, Just Intellectually Challenged
Extremists Should All Be Taken Out & Shot
Exuberant Doomsayer
Eye For An Eye, A Tooth For A Tooth [Ex 21:24; Lev 24:20; Deu 19:21]
Eye For An Eye Better Than A Life For An Eye, As It Was Before
Eye For An Eye, Moral Step Forward As Previously Was A Life For An Eye
Eye For Eye, Next Step 'Turn Other Cheek'?
Eye For An Eye Will Only Make The Whole World Blind [Mohandas Gandhi]
Eye For An I-Pod [Colbert Report]
Eye Of Hurricane
Eye Of Storm
Eyes Wide Closed
153

Eyes Wide Shut

Eyes Without Sight Can Still Have Vision

F
F-Bomb
F-Bomb Is F-Word Detonated To Maximize Consternation & Possible Damage
F U Cn Rd Ths, U Cn Gt A Gd Jb N Cmptr Prgrmmng
F-Word, THE Four-Letter Word
Fa - A Long Long Way To Run
Faamiti, Samoan Lip Squeaking Sound For Calling Children Or Dogs
Fables Of Faubus [1957 Arkansas Governor]
Fabric Of Reality
Face Future With Open Hands Or Closed Fists? [Bill Clinton]
Face Is Like A Penis, Giving Face Is Like A Cunning Linguist
Face Is Like Penis! To A Large Extent It Has A Mind Of Its Own [S. Tomkins & Elementary]
Face Is Like The Penis, But Does It Like Giving Face?
Face The Sun & You Will Never See A Shadow
Fascist Capitalists
Facebook Great Following With Questionable Revenue Stream
Facebook Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread With Mold, They May Yet Produce Penicillin
Facebook IPO Defaced-Book (Which You Cant Book On), Leaving Egg On Their Face
Facebook Listings: Friend With Benefits, Phuck Buddy, One Night Stand & Do-It-Yourselfer
Facebook Look At A Book
Fact Or Fiction
Fact That He's Dead Does Not Prove That He'd Lived [Stanislaw Jerzy Lec]
Fact That No One Understands You Doesn't Mean You're Brilliant
Factory Air
Facts Are Subversive
Facts Are The Enemy Of Truth [Don Quixote]
Facts At Your Fingertips, Even More True Now In The Computer Age
Facts Do Not Cease To Exist Because They Are Ignored [Aldous Huxley]
Facts Only Confuse When One's Mind Is Already Made Up
Facts That Dont Conform To The Theory Must Be Deep Sixed
Factual Inaccuracies
Faculty Cooperation
Faculty Members Are Extreme Conservatives Dealing With Their OWN Problems
Faculty Members Are Extreme Liberals Dealing With OTHER People's Problems
Faculty Understanding
Fads Are The Kiss Of Death, When The Fad Goes Away You Go With It [Conway Twitty]
Fag Cop Copped Another Cop's Fag
Fail In Epic Proportions & It May Just Become A Winning Failure
Fail Safe
Fail Safe Disaster
Fail Safes Will Fail Unsafely
Failed Panda Mating - Veterinarian Takes Over [Headline]
Failed Victory
154

Failing Health
Failing To Plan Is Planning To Fail
Failure Begets Success, Success Begets Failure
Failure Can Be Only Temporary, Giving Up Makes It Permanent
Failure? I Never Encountered It, All I Ever Met Were Temporary Setbacks [Dottie Walters]
Failure Is Foundation Of Success & Means By Which It's Achieved [Lao Tzu]
Failure Is Nature's Plan To Prepare You For Great Responsibilities [Napoleon Hill]
Failure Is No More Fatal Than Success Is Permanent
Failure Is Not A Setback, It Is A Setup to A Comeback!
Failure Is Not An Option, Its A Lifestyle
Failure Is Not An Option, It's Bundled With Your Software
Failure Is The Fog Thru Which We Glance Success [Iron Man 3]
Failure Is The Highway To Success [Og Mandino]
Failure Is The Mother Of Success [Chinese Proverb]
Failure Is Opportunity In Disguise
Failure Is Simply Opportunity To Begin Again, This Time More Intelligently [Henry Ford]
Failure Is The Condiment That Gives Success Its Flavor [Truman Capote]
Failure Is The Highway To Success [Og Mandino]
Failure Is The Only Opportunity To Begin More Intelligently [Henry Ford]
Failure Isn't Falling Down, It's Not Getting Up Again
Failure Lies Not In Falling Down, Failure Lies In Not Getting Up [Chinese Proverb]
Failure Teaches Success
Failure 'Wakes Up The Phoenix Bird In You So You Rise From The Ashes' [Anne Baxter]
Failure Will Not Happen Until After Final Inspection &/Or Warranty Has Expired
Failures Will Not Appear Until The Units Have Passed Final Inspection
Faint Heart Never Won Fair Lady
Fainting General [Franklin Pierce]
Fair Dealings
Fair Dealings Mandate
Fair Elections
Fair Exchange Is No Robbery
Fair Exchange Is No Robbery If Agreeable To Both Parties
Fair Fairytale Princess
Fair Fight
Fair-Haired: Blonde With Low Levels Of The Dark Pigment Eumelanin
Fair-Haired: Fab Favorite Respected & Admired Due To Alleged Valued Qualities
Fair-Haired Fabulous Fab: Goldman Sachs VP & CDO Champion Fabrice Tourre
Fair Hike OK'd; Bus Builder Sound [Lincoln Journal-Star] - Unfare Hikes Then Unsound?
Fair Lending
Fair Lending Practices
Fair Reporting
Fair Tax
Fair Trade
Fair Trade Laws Permitted Setting Of Minimum Price, Since 2007 Governed By Rule Of Reason
Fair Trade Now Movement To Aid Developing Countries To Enjoy Better Trading Conditions
Fair Trial
155

Fair War
Fair Winds & Following Seas
Fairly Accurate
Fairly Biased
Fairly Dark
Fairly Explicit
Fairly Fair
Fairly Fair Fairytale
Fairly Legal
Fairly Nasty
Fairly Obvious
Fairly Unique
Fairy Godmother
Fairytale Princess
Fairytales Have A Tendency To Dragon
Faith, Alleged Short-Cut To Knowledge, Is A Short Circuit Destroying The Mind [Ayn Rand]
Faith, 'An Illogical belief In The Occurrence Of The Improbable' [H.L. Mencken]
Faith Divides Us, Death Unites Us
Faith, Hope & Charity
Faith, Hope & Charity, Concubines Of The Most Holiest Of Churches
Faith, Hope & Charity Defy Persecutions Of Emperor Hadrian [Sapientia, Circa 960AD]
Faith, Hope & Charity, Disco Band From Tampa, Florida With 1975 Hit Song 'To Each His Own'
Faith, Hope & Charity, Virtues Of The Theological Doctrine Of Increasing Grace
Faith, Hope, Love, A Charity That Provides Assistance To Odessa's Sex Workers
Faith In Action
Faith In Action, What A Gal!
Faith Is Under The Left Nipple [Martin Luther]
Faith Is Worst Curse Of Mankind, As The Exact Antithesis & Enemy Of Thought [Ayn Rand]
Faith Moves Mountains
Faith Moves Mountains By Invoking Earthquakes
Faith Must Be Taken On Faith
Faith Unfaithful Kept Him Falsely True [Tennyson]
Faithful/Faithless Boyfriend
Faithful/Faithless Girlfriend
Faithful/Faithless Husband
Faithful/Faithless Spouse
Faithful/Faithless Wife
Faithlessness Is Only A Lack Of Accepting The Unknown & Unknowable
Fake But Accurate
Fake Fur
Fake Jewelry
Fake Prophet
Fake Reality
Fake Sarcasm
Fake Wampum
Fall Back [To Standard Time]
156

Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight [Japanese Proverb]

Fallacy Of Accent: HE Is A Fairly Good Pianist
Fallacy Of Accent: He IS A Fairly Good Pianist
Fallacy Of Accent: He Is A FAIRLY Good Pianist
Fallacy Of Accent: He Is A Fairly Good PIANIST
Fallacy Of Accent: I Killed My Wife!
Fallacy Of Accent: I Killed My Wife?
Fallacy Of Affirming Consequent: People With Flu Cough. Floozy Is Coughing. She's Infected!
Fallacy Of Affirming Consequent: Rain Wets Pants. His Pants Are Wet, Therefore It Rained.
Fallacy Of Ambiguity: He Only Said Democracy Crusade Scarcely Seems Worth It [Buchanan]
Fallacy Of Begging Question: Bush Always Tells The Truth. This Is True As He Told Me So
Fallacy Of Composition: Each Band Member Has Rhythm, Therefore The Band Is Rhythmical
Fallacy Of Deduction: If NYC Is Capital Of NYS Its In NYS. NYCs In NYS. NYC Is Capital
Fallacy Of Denying Antecedent: If Raining It Must Be Cloudy. It's Not Raining So Not Cloudy
Fallacy Of Division: This Cereal Is Part Of A Nutritious Breakfast Therefore It Is Nutritious
Fallacy Of Division: We Have 100 Years Of Experience Due To Our 100 Last Year Graduates
Fallacy Of Dysphemistic Switch: 'Italian's Are Here To Stay' Becomes 'Wops Are Here To Stay'
Fallacy Of Equivocation: If Heavy It Has Great Mass. Fog Is Heavy So It Has Great Mass
Fallacy Of Equivocation: Nothing Beats Sex. Ham Beats Nothing. Ham Beats Sex
Fallacy Of False Cause: I Hear Rain Falling On Roof, So Sun Is Not Shining [Non Sequitur]
Fallacy Of Figure Of Speech: The Sailor Was At Home On The Sea
Fallacy Of Hasty Generalization: All I Speak To Speak English, So English Is Spoken By All
Fallacy Of Implied Causal Relationship: It's Hot. Grass Needs Heat. Grass Brings Heat!
Fallacy Of Induction: Most Cats Are House Cats. Kiki Is A Cat. Kiki Is A House Cat
Fallacy Of Innuendo: The Fonze Was Never Caught Taking Money From The Cash Box
Fallacy Of Irrelevant Conclusion: Zealots Believe War Is Justifiable, Therefore It Is Justifiable
Fallacy Of Loaded Compound Question: Have You Stopped Beating Your Wife?
Fallacy Of Misplaced Concretion: He Couldn't Have Raped Her He Is A GOOD Tennis Player
Fallacy Of Straw Man: Sex Good! Sex Spreads Aids! Aids Kills! If Dead No Sex! Sex Is Bad!
Fallacy Of Straw Man: Sun Good. If All Sun No Rain. No Rain No Food & We Die. Sun Bad!
Fallacy Of Sweeping Generalization: To Cut Is Criminal. Surgeons Are Criminals, They Cut
Fallacy Of Sweeping Generalization: Cops Are Law Breakers As Breaking & Entering Is Illegal
Fallacy Of Temporal Succession: Petie Peed On Pine Which Pined & Died. Petie Killed Pine
Fallacy Of Verbosity: X = Square Of Reverse Triangle Of Left-Sided Tangent Plus Root
Fallen Angel
Falling From The Sky Or From A Tree, Would Hurt Far Less Than Falling For Me
Falling In Love Is A Lot Like Dying, You Never Get To Do It Enough To Become Good At It
Falling In Love Is Awfully Simple, Falling Out Of Love Is Simply Awful
Falling Sideways
Falling's Not Fatal, It's The Sudden Stop At The End That Kills You!
Fallopian Jungle [NPRs Nina Totenberg]
Fallout Shelter
False Chronologies
False Evidence
False Fact
False Hope
157

False Hope Is Better Than No Hope At All

False Hope, It Would Seem. Claudia: Artie, Its Hope. How Can It Be False? [Warehouse 13]
False Positive
False Prophet
False Reality
False Start
False Stop
Falsely True [Alfred, Lord Tennyson]
False Truth
False Witness
Falsely True
Fame, Then Dame, Then Blame, Then Shame!
Familiar Difference
Familiar Stranger
Familiarity Breeds Contentment
Familiarity Breeds Contempt [Aesop]
Familiarity Breeds Contempt & Children [Mark Twain]
Familiarity Breeds Contempt, But Familiarity Is Needed To Breed [Noel Coward]
Familiarity Fatima Breeds With Contemptuous Jones
Families Are Like Fudge, Mostly Sweet With A Few Nuts
Family Can Be Close While Apart [Richardson News]
Family Comes First
Family Entertainment
Family Planning
Family Planning Association
Family Vacation
Family's Dinner Menu Consisted Of 2 Choices Take It Or Leave It [Buddy Hackett]
Famous-Anonymous
Fan Fatale
Fan Light
Fanatic Can't Change His Mind & Won't Change The Subject [Winston Churchill]
Fancy Heater [Phaser]
Fantasy Is A Way Of Looking At Life Through The Wrong End Of A Telescope [Dr. Seuss]
Fantasy Is What Enables You To Laugh At Life's Realities [Dr. Seuss]
Far Better To Be Pissed Off Than To Be Pissed On
Far Closer
Far From The Maddening Crowd [Thomas Hardy]
Far From The Madding Crowd's Ignoble Strife [Thomas Gray]
Far More Impressive When Others Discover Your Good Qualities Without Your Help
Far Nearer
Far Out Isn't Far Enough - The Tomi Ungerer Story
Far Side, Gary Larson's Syndicated Surrealistic Cartoon Series [1980-1995]
Far Yet Near
Farding & Driving At One & The Same Time Are Verboten In The District
Farding Is Farty, Or Is It Not?
Farding Is The Malodorous Practice Of Applying Make-Up While Driving
158

Farewell Invitation
Farewell Reception
Farm Produced Produces Failure Foretold of Famine
Farm-World [Star Trek]
Farmer Allows Walkers To Cross The Field For Free, But The Bull Charges
Farmer Bill Dies In House [Headline RIP Or No Subsidy?]
Farmers Are Real Experts, They're Often Outstanding In Their Field
Fart Polish Bottled Juice
Fart Proudly & Other Benjamin Franklin Writings You Never Read In School (1781/1990 Ed.)
Fart Proudly, Either SBD (Silent-But-Deadly) Or Noisy & Less Deadly, Smell-Wise
Fart Proudly Ends With Ben's Pun, Other Inquiries Are 'Scarcely Worth A FART-HING'
Fart Proudly, One To Three Pints Per Day, Ten To Fifteen Times Daily
Fart Proudly, Research To Render Flatulence 'Inoffensive' & As Agreeable As Perfumes'
Fart Repeats: Air Biscuit, Barking Spider, Bio-Warfare, Bottom, Botty & Tussy Burp, Toot
Fart Repeats: Curmurring, Cutting The Cheese, Emission, Feist, Flatus, Fluffer-Doodle, Poot
Fart Repeats: Geese, Passing Gas, Breaking Wind, Raspberry Tart, Trouser Cough, Whooper
Fartfull Kids' Workbench [Ikea]
Farther Away You Park The Closer A Space Is Vacated Near Your Destination
Fartillery
Farting Decreed Legal At Banquets By Emperor Claudius To Promote The Public Health
Farting Is Not My Style [Hypobole], You Farted All Night [Hyperbole]!
Farts Are Intestinal & Bacterial Gases With Trapped Air; Burps Stomach & Swallowed Gases
Farty Beans Flatulence Factors: Raffinose, Stachiose & Verbascose [Indigestible Sugars]
Farty Foods: Beans, Beer, Bread, Cabbage, Cauliflower, Corn, Eggs, Milk & Raisins
Fascism Will Come To America Wrapped In The Flag & Carrying A Cross [Sinclair Lewis?]
Fashion Bug
Fashion Is Ugliness So Intolerable That We Have To Alter It Every Six Months [Oscar Wilde]
Fashion Nerdlings
Fashionable Is Ominous Label As Soon Becomes Old-Fashioned Or Unfashionable
Fashionably Fit
Fashionably Oxymoronic
Fashionably Shabby
Fast & Furious Gun-Walking
Fast & Furious Gun-Walking Due To Not Enough Evidence To Prosecute [Katherine Eban]
Fast & Furious Gun-Walking Trips Attorney General Holder, Holding Him In Contempt
Fast Basic
Fast Food
Fast Food Restaurant
Fast Idle
Fast Mail Service
Faster Or Slower Better? Kids All Agree Faster Is Better [AT&T]
Faster Or Slower: So Faster Cars, Cheetahs, Spaceships,... AT&T 4G Network' & Ejaculations?
Fast Reflexes May Compensate For A Lack Of Good Manners
Fast Snail
Fast Subwoofer
Fast Turtle
159

Fast Waiter
Fast Walk
Fast Mail Service
Fast Walk
Fasten Your Seatbelts, It's Going To Be A Bumpy Night [All About Eve, 1950]
Faster, Harder, Deeper Is Not The Motto Of The Olympics
Faster Hardware Isn't Solution, Unless Problem Is Slow Hardware
Faster Than A Speeding Bullet
Faster The Plane, The Narrower The Seats
Fasting Is When Eating Slows To A Halt
Fat Buttermilk Biscuits
Fat Buttermilk Biscuits [But Buttermilk Is Milk With The Fat Churned-Out/Removed]
Fat Chance
Fat Chance Sez Wise Guy, Slim Chance Says Wiseman
Fat Chance & Slim Chance Mean The Same Thing
Fat Chance & Slim Chance Give You The Same Meager Chance
Fat Deficit
FAT! Fat! Fatty! Fatso! You Fat Fat Fatty Fat Walrus! Gimme FAT BOOKS! [The Producers]
Fat-Free Cream
Fat-Free Cream Cheese
Fat-Free Creamer
Fat-Free Ice Cream
Fat On The Hook The President Has No Fat On The Grill [Hardball With Chris Matthews]
Fat Or A Nutritional Overachiever
Fat Stick-Insect
Fatal Attraction
Fatal Crash Was Second For Navy Pilot [IronHerder Reincarnation News Header]
Fatal Mudslide Blamed On Hill [Associated Press]
Fatally Injured
Fatboy Slim
Fate Chooses Your Relations, You Choose Your Friends [Jacques Delille]
Father Of His Country [George Washington]
Fatherhood Is Pretending The Present You Love Most Is Soap On-A-Rope [Bill Cosby]
Father's Poor, Your Fate; Father-In-Law Poor, Your Stupidity
Fatwa, Plural Fatawa, Non-Binding On Sunni, Binding On Shia Based On Issuing Mufti Scholar
Fault Finders Are The Only Ones Who Find What They're Looking For In Life
Fault Lies Not With Our Technologies But With Our Systems [Roger Levian]
Faultily Faultless
Faultily Towers
Faults Are Thick Where Love Is Thin [English Proverb]
Faulty Logic
Faux Bijoux
Faux Diamond
Favorite Wine Of Both Presidents Bush: I Hate Broccoli!
Fax Is Stranger Than Fiction
FBI Federal Bureau Of Investigation
160

FBI Feel Better Institute For Quantum & Spiritual Innergetics

FBI Ten Most Wanted Painted On Mugs Showing The Mugs Of Muggers
FDA Allows Twenty Percent Nutritional Values Leeway In Product Labeling [Fooducate Blog]
FDA Allows Under Five Calories & Under Five Grams Of Fat To Be Labeled As Zero
FDA Just Needs To Give Names Of One Or Two Things Still Safe To Eat [Robert Fuoss]
FDA Says Nun Of That To Female Celibacy Drug, Finding It Habit-Forming
FDR [Franklin Delano Roosevelt]
Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum, I Smell The Blood Of Englishman
Fear A Goat In Front, A Horse From Behind & A Fool Anywhere
Fear Doesnt Exist Anywhere Except In The Mind [Dale Carnegie]
FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real [Brian Caruthers]
Fear Is The Foundation Of Most Governments [John Adams]
Fear Killed & Then Fart Followed By Moan Killed Fear [Second Chances]
Fear Of Death Keeps One From Living, Not From Dying
Fear Of Fear - Phobophobia
Fear Me Not For My Insanity, But For The Mind Which It Protects
Fearful Bravery [Shakespeare]
Fearlessness Starts With Confidence
Feast & Your Halls Are Crowded, Fast & The World Goes By [Ella Wheeler Wilcox]
Feast Of The Circumcision
Featherweight
Featherweight Loser Donated A Pint Of Blood Through His Nose
FED-POURRI [Barry J. Lipson]
Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons [Tulsa World]
Federal Budget
Federally Speaking [Barry J. Lipson]
FedEx + UPS = FedUP
Feed A Cold & Starve A Fever
Feel Numb
Feel Like I've Been Shot At & Missed, & Then Shit At & Hit!
Feel The Power Of The Don't Encourage Him! Ultimate Warriorrrrrrrr! [WWF Wrestling]
Feeling Numb
Feels Like All My Screaming Has Gone Unheard [Evanescence 'Weight Of The World']
Fel Piso Dryw Yn Y Mr [Welsh: Like A Wren's Piss In The Sea]
Fell For Her
Fell For Her, Still Picking Up The Pieces
Fell In Love At First Sight, I Should Have Looked Twice
Fellatio Felicitousness
Fellatio Monument Stands Out In South Korea's Honeymooner [Jeju] Island Sex Garden
Fellow Sisters
Fellow Women
Felonious Assault
Felony By Definition Is A Serious Crime, So By Definition A Felony Is Serious
Felony Labeled Serious Felony Is Redundant As If It Werent It Would Be A Misdemeanor
Felony Murder
Female Autobot
161

Female Body, 78% Of 17 Year Old Girls Dissatisfied With Their Bodies
Female Body, Only 3% Of 17 Year Old Boys Dissatisfied With Girls Bodies
Female Circumcision
Female Gunman
Female Jock
Female Logic
Female Mailman
Female Majority
Female Majority Treated As Minority
Female Minority
Female Of The Species Is More Deadly Than The Male [Rudyard Kipling]
Female Sperm Whale
Female Transformer
Feminine Logic
Feminised Frogs
Feminist Discourse
Feminist Mormons
Femme Fatale
Fender Bender
Fender Bender 7
Ferrari World , Abu Dhabis New High-Tech Park Inspired By Italys Ferrari Automobile
Fettuccini Alfredo Is Macaroni & Cheese For Adults [Mitch Hedberg]
Fever Chills
Fever, You Give Me Fever, Fahrenheit Or Centigrade?
Few Bradys Short Of A Bunch
Few Cards Short Of A Deck
Few Fries Short Of A Happy Meal
Few Great Men Could Pass Personnel [Paul Goodman]
Few More
Few People Get Up Bright & Early, Most Just Get Up Early
Few See With Their Own Eyes & Feel With Their Own Hearts [Albert Einstein]
Few Things Are Harder To Put Up With Than A Good Example [Mark Twain]
Few Things Are Impossible To Diligence & Skill [Samuel Johnson]
Few Women Admit Their Age, Fewer Men Act Theirs [Bumper Sticker]
Fiat Money
Fiber Glass
Fibber McGee Fed Molly A Line Which She Swallowed Hook, Line & Sinker
Fibber, Person Who Lies Repeatedly & Shamelessly Unashamedly
Fibula, He Is Boning Up On Telling The Big Lie With Small Fibula
Fiction Is Obliged To Stick To Possibilities; Truth Is Not ['Twain-ish']
Fiction Reveals Truths That Reality Obscures [J. West]
Fictional Reality
Fictional Truth
Fictitious Name
Fictitious Person
Field Sobriety Test: Patting Head While Rubbing Tummy Under Scrutiny Of Armed Cop
162

Fiery Desert Wind

Fiery Ice
Fiery Oratory
Fiery Salvation!
Fiery Temper
FIFO - First In First Out
Fifteen Blacks Killed In Protest [IronHerder Header] - No Whites Hurt In Getting This Header
Fifth Drink It!
Fifth Amendment
Fifth Take It!
Fifty Dollars & Time Served [Judge Harold T. Stone - Night Court]
Fifty Examples Of Anything Are Findable In A US-Size Country
Fifty/Fifty Chance Of Being Right, Means 90% Probability Of Being Wrong
Fifty Is The Ultimate F-Word
Fig Leaf Of Middle Eastern Ficus Carica - Deeply Lobed, Fragrant & Large [To 9.8" x 7.1"]
Fig Leaf Or Effective?
Fig Leaf, Figuratively Covering Up Of Act Or Object That Is Non-Objectively Objectionable
Fig Leaves Sewed Together As To Their Nakedness 'The Eyes Of Both Of Them Were Opened'
Fig Leaves They Sewed Together & Made Themselves Loincloths [Adam & Eve - Genesis 3:7]
Fig Leaves Were Sewed Together To Made Lion Blind As Blind[ed] Lions Are Easier To Hunt
Figleaf Gonad Shields - Personal Radiation Protection
Fight Crime
Fight Crime, Shoot Back!
Fight Fire With Fire
Fight Inside
Fight Murder
Fight Over Love & Money Would Be Duel Purpose
Fight Until Hell Freezes Over
Fight Until Hell Freezes Over & Then Fight On The Ice [Capt Wm Mattingly - 1863]
Fight Violence
Fighting A Liar In The Quadrangle [Lighting A Fire]
Fighting Christians
Fighting Fools
Fighting For Peace
Fighting For Peace Is Like Screwing For Virginity
Fighting Is A Masculine Idea, A Woman's Weapon Is Her Tongue [Hermione Gingold]
Fighting Quakers
Fighting Spirit
Figuratively It Was The Figs Leaf That Covered The Fallen Female
Figure Won't Lie, But Liars Will Figure ['Old Figgers' - Gen. Chas Grosvenor]
Figures Calculated In Haste Are Hot & Must Be Allowed To Cool Before Use
Figures Don't Lie, But Liars Figure
Figures Show It, Americans Putting On Those Pounds [Bismarck Tribune]
Figures Won't Lie, But Liars Will Figure [Charles H. Grosvenor]
Filing Cabinet Is Where Papers Get Lost Alphabetically
Filing System
163

Fill What's Empty, Empty What's Full, Scratch Where It Itches [Alice Roosevelt Longworth]
Fillet Of Soul [New Orleans 007]
Filling Station
FILO - First In Last Out
Films Length Should Be Directly Related To Endurance Of Human Bladder [Hitchcock]
Filthy Stinking Rich, Well Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad
Fin: Fiver, Finif, Finski, Five-Spot Or $5 Bill & A Legitimate Dead President
Fin: Organ Of Locomotion & Balance In Fishes, But Fishy Fin Would Not Be Legal Tender
Final Conclusion
Final Draft
Final Possibility
Final Version
Finally Again
Finally Got My Head Together, Now My Body Is Falling Apart
Financial Troubles Or 'Decision Troubles'? [DB Hilsabeck]
Financial Vultures First Gobble Up Our Assets, Then Demand Dessert [Haiku]
Financially Strong Banks
Find Missing
Find Out The Cost Before You Get Commit
Find Out The Cost Beforehand Or There Goes An Arm & A Leg
Find The Fun & Youll See, Every Task's A Piece Of Cake, A Lark, A Spree [Mary Poppins]
Find Your Passion & Make It Your Profession, & You'll Never Work Again [Janice Rockett]
Finders Keepers, Losers Reapers [Murder She Wrote]
Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers
Fine Day To Work Off Excess Energy, Steal Something Heavy
Fine Is A Tax For Doing Wrong, Tax Is A Fine For Doing Well
Fine Line Between Cuddling & Holding Her Down So She Can't Get Away
Fine Line Between 'Hobby' & 'Mental Illness' [Dave Barry]
Fine Mess [Stan Laurel]
Fine Words Butter No Parsnips
Fines Are Taxes For Doing Wrong & Taxes Are Fines For Doing Right
Finger In Dike
Finger-Lickin' Good [Kentucky Fried Chicken]
Fingerprint Of Dermatoglyphics & Uncopyrightable Is No Repeated Letters
Finish Later
Finished Notching Your Bedpost? Zip Up Your Brain & Get To Work! [Murder She Wrote]
Finnish Megapussi Size Potato Chippies
Fire At Will
Fire Bad!!!!!!! [Frankenstein]
Fire Drills Are Quite Alarming
Fire Fight
Fire Hose
Fire House
Fire In The Hole
Fire Proof
Fire Resistant
164

Fire Sale
Fire Forbidden In Eskimo Craft As 'Can't Have Kayak & Heat It Too'
Fire Truck-Colored Pontiac Firebirds Took Over The Country Creating A Red Carnation
Fire Was Invented By A Bright Spark Sparking In A Dry Forest
Fire Water [Booze For Indians]
Fire Water [Fracking Methane Produced Flammable Drinking Water]
Fire Water! [Water Gun Command!]
Fire Water [Water In Pail To Douse Fire]
Fired My Masseuse Today When She Rubbed Me The Wrong Way
Firehose
Firehouse
Firehouse Fiery Atmosphere Fires Up Fire Fighters
Firehouse Isnt Place Where You Fire People, To Mitt Romneys Rue
Firepower Turned On Guns [Obama]
Firewall
Firewater [Booze For Indians Seeing Single!]
Fireworks
Fireworks, Exploding Rockets That Give Off Spectacular Specular Effects
Fireworks To Be Aired On Radio [Orlando Sentinel]
Fireworks To Destroy Rockets For Spectacular Specular Effects
Firm Estimate
Firm Handshake
Firm Handshakes Worth The Paper Its Written On
Firm Maybe
Firm Peanut Brittle
Firm Pillow
Firm Quote
First Among Equals
First Annual
First Annuals Usually The Last
First Black President [Bill Clinton - Coined By Toni Morrison]
First Black President For Real [Barak Obama]
First Blast Of The Trumpet Against The Monstrous Regiment Of Women [John Knox, Reformer]
First Breath Of Love Is The Last Breath Of Wisdom
First Come, First Served
First Complain They Must Have More Leisure, Then Complain They Are Unemployed
First Conclusions
First Condition Of Immortality Is Death [Stanislaw Lec]
First Condition Of Immortality Is To Have Death As A Comparison
First Day Of A Diet Is Harder Than Second, As by Then You're Off Of It
First Deadline
First Duty Of A Revolutionary Is To Get Away With It [Abbie Hoffman]
First Ending
First Estate [Lords Spiritual]
First Five Years Are Forever
First Get Your Facts, Then You Can Distort Them At Your Leisure [Mark Twain]
165

First Half Of Our Lives Is Ruined By Our Parents & Second Half By Our Children
First He Went Awry, then A Scotch, Then A Bourbon, A Rye Then First Bartender
First I Prayed For A Bike, Then I Psyched The System, Stole One & Prayed For Forgiveness
First Impressions Are The Most Lasting
First In War, First In Peace, First In The Heart Of Amateur Biographers - George Washington
First In War, First In Peace, First In The Hearts Of His Countrymen
First In War, First In Peace, First In Whiskey ['George Washington As Distiller']
First In War, First In Peace, Last In The American League [C. Dryden - Washington Senators]
First In War, First In Peace, First To Have Birthday Juggled For Long Weekend [AshleyCooper]
First In War, First In Piece, First In The Tarts Of His Countrymen The Father Of His Country!
First Knight, Arthurian Film Showing Lancelots Romancing Of Lady Guinevere [1995]
First Music Patent Was Gotten For A Song
First Myth Of Management Is That It Exists
First Night - New Traditional City By City New Year's Eve Artistic & Cultural Celebration
First Night Right Ancient Libyans: Bring Brides Before King So He May Choose [Herodotus]
First Night Right Ancient Mesopotamia: King To Be First, Husband To Follow [Gilgamesh]
First Night Right Armenian Kurdish: Khafirs May Bed Brides On Wed Night [20th Century]
First Night Right A/K/A Right Of The First Night [In Latin Jus Primae Noctis]
First Night Right In Official French: Droit Du Seigneur [Right Of The Lord]
First Night Right In Peasant French: Droit De Jambage Or Cuissage [Right Of Leg Or Thigh]
First Night Right, Was It Truly A Right [Or Wrong] Of The Lord Of The Manor? Brits Say No!
First Night Tickets Enclosed, Bring A Friend - If You Have One [Shaw To Churchill]
First Night Tickets Not Useable, Will Attend Second - If There Is One [Churchill To Shaw]
First Name Mr, Middle Name 'Period', Last Name T! [Mr. T]
First Prize Is Not A Gold Statue, But Is Something To Be Proud Of
First Rate Soup Is Better Than A Second Rate Painting [Abraham Maslow]
First Rule Is There Are No Rules
First Rule Of Sword Fighting, 'Stickee With The Pointee End!' [Game Of Thrones]
First Scientists To Study Fog Were Mistified
First Shall Be Last & The Last First
First Shall Be Last & The Last First, But Those In Middle Are Stuck There
First Step In Making A Diagnosis Is To Think Of It
First Step To Getting The Things You Want Out Of Life - Decide What You Want! [Ben Stein]
First Strike Defense
First String Secondary
First Taste Is Always The Best
First Thing A Man Will Do For His Ideals Is Lie [Joseph A. Schempeter]
First Things First
First Time & First Bite Is Always The Best
First Time I See A Jogger Smiling, Ill Consider It [Joan Rivers]
First Time Is Never The Best [Campari]
First We Complain Our Kids Disgrace Us In Public, Then They Complain We Embarrass Them
Fiscal Cliff
Fiscal Cliff 1st Used For Tumble Waiting Over-Borrowing 1st Home Buyers [NY Times, 1957]
Fiscal Conservative - Oxymoron [Joseph Farah]
Fiscally Conservative Yet Socially Liberal - Oxymoronic Paradox
166

Fiscal Irresponsibility
Fiscal Precipice
Fish Always Rots From The Head Down
Fish Always Stink From The Head Down
Fish & Chips
Fish & Guests Smell After Three Days
Fish Farm
Fish Fingers
Fish In Schools Often Take Debate
Fish Oil Magic
Fish Market Restaurant - A Shore Thing
Fish Need Water, Fed Says [Headline]
Fish Should Swim Thrice: First In The Sea, Then In Butter & Last In Claret [J. Swift]
Fishermen Cannot Be Concert Pianists As They Can Not Tuna Fish!
Fishermen Cannot Live On Their Net Income Alone
Fisherman Pulled A Mussel At The Seafood Disco Rave Last Week
Fishermen Who Catch Their Fish By The Tale Tell Fish Stories
Fishmongers Business Makes Them Selfish
Fishy Smell
Fit As A Fiddle
Fit As A Fiddle & Ready For Love
Fit To Be Tied
Fitness Club Closes, Going Belly Up [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]
Fits Like A Nice Game Of Tetris
Fitting Expression Makes A Good Impression
Five Bums & A Rugby Post
Five Out Of Four People Are Schizophrenic
Five Out Of Four People Can't Do Fractions
Five Things Are Nice - Long Meals, Young Meat, Old Fish, Pretty Woman & Wine
Five Thousand Years A Wandering People -- Then We Found The Cabanas [Haiku]
Fix Breakfast
Fix Prices [Illegal Price Fixing]
Fixed Competition
Fixed Income
Fixed Pets
Fixed Price [By One Seller OK]
Fixed Price [By Multiple Sellers NG]
Fixed Rates
Fixed Return
Fixed Target
Fixed Your Wagon
Fixing Broken Prices By Fixing Them Illegal
Fixing Fixed Prices By Braking Them OK
Fixing It Later Always Takes Longer & Costs More
Fixing Prices Illegal Whether Broken Or Not
Flabbergastation, Oh My Gosh, I Can't Believe It!
167

Flabbergastration, Caused Me To Vacate The Room & My Bowels

Flabby Flatty
Flabby Tabby
Flaboplasty - Labioplasty/Labiaplasty Deflapating Flabbergasting Labia
Flaboplasty - Lipoplasty On Steroids, Usually Done Right Before Beach Season
Flag Desecration Photo Essay [Barry J. Lipson See Cover At End]
Flag Desecration Punishment Consecrates It Not [Justice William Brennan]
Flag Desecration Punishment Dilutes The Freedom This Emblem Represents' [Wm. Brennan]
Flamenco Choreography
Flaming Laser Sword, If Not Settlable By Experiment Its Not Worth Debating [Mike Alder]
Flapoplasty - Labioplasty/Labiaplasty Deflabating Flabbergasting Labia
Flappable Flapper
Flappers & Slappers - Party Gals & Hookers Of the Jazz Age
Flashbacks Are A Thing Of The Past [Samuel Goldwyn]
Flashlights Are Dead Battery Storage Cases
Flat Bread
Flat-Breasted
Flat-Busted [Poor Girl]
Flat-Busted [Poor Guy]
Flat-Chested Broad
Flat Curve
Flat Earth
Flat Flatteringly Felatious Femme Fatale Flattened Flatter By Flatfoots
Flat Tax
Flat Tires Are Fixed For A Flat Rate
Flattery Is All Right If You Don't Inhale [Adlai Stevenson]
Flattery Is Hearing What You Already Believe About Yourself
Flattery Is Like Perfume, It Should Be Smelled Not Swallowed
Flattery Is Telling Others Exactly What They Think About Themselves
Flattery Will Get You Everywhere
Flattery Will Get You Nowhere
Flatulation Of The Treble Cleft
Flatulence Is Emergency Vehicle That Picks Up One Run Over By Steamroller
Flavors Of Negros Restaurant [Negros, Philippines]
Flavors Of Wine & Cheese Depend On Types Of Infecting Micro-Organisms [Martin Fischer]
Fleetness Of The Fleet's Is Determined By The Slowest Vessel [Wen Jiabao]
Fleishig [Meat], Milchig [Dairy], Pareve [Neither Meat Nor Dairy], The Kosher Classifications
Flem Is Spelt Phlegm, Why Isn't Flam Spelt Phlagm, Both Being Orally Manipulated?
Flexible Budget
Flexible Deadline [IronHerder]
Flexible Ethics
Flexible Freeze
Flexible Scheduling Allows Teachers To Deviate From The Curriculum
Flexible Scheduling Shall Not Be Deviated From!
Flexitarians, Flexible Vegetarians Who May Sneak Meat, Fish & Chocolate Covered Ants
Flib Flab
168

Flibary Flab
Flibbertigibbet, A Frivolous, Flighty, & Blabbery Person, & Perhaps A Fibber & A Lubber!
Flick Your Bic
Flies Are Where Men Are Most Vulnerable [Clue]
Flim Flam
Flim Flam Man
Flip Flop
Flip Flopping Candidate
Flip Flopping Electorate
Flirt Is A Woman Who Thinks It's Every Man For Herself
Flirtation Is Attention Without Serious Intention
Flirtation Makes Water Safe By Removing Large Pollutants Like Grit, Dead Sheep & Canoeists
Flirting, He Knew, Would Not Lead Down Her Rabbit Hole [Free Agents]
Flitch Of Bacon Worth Many Sermons, Softens Tempers & Promotes Harmony [Wm. Cobbett]
Floating Porta-Potty [Fire Damaged Carnival Cruise Ship Triumph]
Floating To The Bottom
Flood Control
Flood Plain Dwellers Note: It Is Not If But When The Floods Will Overflow Their Banks
Flood Plain Dwellers You Can Bank On It! There Will be A Run On & Over Your Banks!
Flop House
Floppy Disk
Flops Are Part Of Life's Menu & I've Never Miss Out On Any Course [Rosalind Russell]
Florida Keys Have Gone Digital!
Florida May Need Disabled Voter Machines [AP]
Florida Wants Coach With An Offensive Mind [Florida Times-Union]
Flowers Are The Sweetest Things God Ever Made & Forgot To Put A Soul Into [Beecher]
Fluffy-Backed Tit Babblers*
Fluid Solutions
Fluid Solutions Keep Changing
Fluid Solutions Keep Seeping Through The Fabric Of Reality
Flurry Of Inactivity
Futterwacken, Mad Hatter Vigorously Victory Danced
Fly Fishing
Fly The Friendly Skies Of United
Fly Up Your Fly
Fly Wheel
Flying Boat
Flying Fish
Flying Is Learning How To Throw Yourself At The Ground & Miss [Douglas Adams]
Flying Nun
Flying These Days Is A Frisky Business
Flying Tigers
Flyspecker Picks The Flyspecks Out Of The Fly-Speckled Peppers
Flyspecking, Scrutinizing Every Word, Every Comma & Every Pronoun & Its Antecedents
F.O.B Or Fresh Off The Boat Slurs Newly Arrived Foreign Nationals
Folks Goofed! Left Me Off At Wrong Nursery, Leaving Me Alone With Trees & Bushes
169

Focus On Results Youll Never Change, Focus On Change Youll Get Results [Jack Dixon]
Focus On The Positive In Your Life, For What You Focus On Increases
Focus On Your Recovery As We Get A Recovery For You [Personal Injury Law Firm]
Fog Catcher Mist!
Fog Got Out Of Hand, He Tried To Catch It But He Mist
Fold - Sheep Pen, Sheep Herd Or Churchs Congregation
Folks Playing Leap Frog Must Complete All Jumps & Not Stop Short
Follow The Yellow Brick Road
Follow Your Bliss [Blue Man]
Follow Your Dreams
Follow Your Own Star
Following Preview
Following The Rules Will Not Necessarily Get The Job Done
Folly Of One Man Is The Fortune Of Another
Fonics, The Act Of Associating 'Letters With Their Sounds' Is Spelled Phonics
Foo-Foo Dust - Mystical Powder, Misdirection Or Slight-Of-Hand Rendering Magical Results
Food Engineer
Food For Thought
Food For Thought Is No Substitute For The Real Thing [Walt Kelly]
Food Has Replaced Sex In My Life, Now I Can't Even Get Into My Own Pants
Food Is An Important Part Of A Balanced Diet [Fran Leibowitz]
Food, Love, Career & Mothers, The Four Major Guilt Groups [Cathy Guisewite]
Food Sanctions
Food That's Made Of Food [Marty's Market, Pittsburgh]
Food That's Made Of Food & Nothing Else! [Marty's Market]
Foods Savored First By Amerinds: Corn, Blueberries, Pecans, Strawberry Shortcake &Turkey
Foods Savored First In South U.S.: Brunswick Stew, Hushpuppies, Grits, Pecan Pie & Bourbon
Foods Savored First In U.S.: Brownies, Boston Cream [Cake] Pie & Egg Fu Yung [SF 1874]
Foods Savored First In U.S.: Maple Syrup, Burgers On Buns, Corndogs & Waldorf Salad
Foods Savored First In U.S.: Potato [Saratoga] Chips, Popcorn, Peanut Butter & Chewing Gum
Foodies: Food Hobbyists, Aficionados Of All Things Food [Paul Levy & Ann Barr, 1984]
Fool Always Finds A Bigger Fool To Admire Him [Nicolas Boileau]
Fool & His Honey Are Soon Parted
Fool & His Money Are My Best Friends
Fool & His Money Are Soon Elected [Will Rogers]
Fool & His Money Are Soon Invited Everywhere
Fool & His Money Are Soon Parted [Thomas Tusser 1524-80]
Fool & His Money Are Soon Partners
Fool & His Money Are Soon Popular
Fool Gives Grand Piano, Wise Man Gives Upright Organ
Fool Me Once Shame On You, Fool Me Twice Shame On Me!
Fool Must Now & Then Be Right By Chance
Fool Who Thinks Himself Wise Is The Greatest Fool Of All
Foolie [Game In Star Trek]
Foolhardy
Foolish Fondness
170

Foolish Wisdom
Foolishly Overvaliant
Foolishly Wise
Foolproof
Foolproof Instructions
Foolproofing May Be Doable, But Not Damnfoolproofing
Foolproofness Is Illusionary As Fools Are So Ingenious
Fools A Fool Even When Not Fooling Around!
Fools & Weeds Grow Without Rain
Fools Dont Have To Be Shown, They Act That Way Instinctively
Fools Dont Have To Be Sown, They Grow Up By Themselves
Fools Ignore Complexity, Pragmatists Suffer It, Others Avoid It & Geniuses Remove It
Fools Rush In Where Angels Fear To Tread [Alexander Pope]
Fools Rush In Where Angels Set The Traps
Fools Rush In Where Fools Have Been Before
Fools Speak When They Have To Say Something, The Wise When They Have Something To Say
Fool's Voice Is Known By Multitude Of Words [Ecclesiastes 5:30]
Foot, A Nighttime Furniture Finding Device With A Stubbing Alarm
Foot In Mouth Disease [Barry J. Lipson]
Football
Football Fashion
Football Scholarship
Football Widow
For A Little Love, You Pay All Your Life
For Adult Education Nothing Beats Children
For Amber Graves Of Wayne [Iowa Caucus Allusion, But To Rons Bro Or A County He Won?]
For As He Thinketh In His Heart, So Is He [Proverbs 23:7]
For As Long As I Can Remember I've Had Amnesia
For Better, For Worse [Tsum Glik, Tsum Shlimazel]
For Compassion & Cowardice There Is No Remedy
For Crying Out Loud!
For Every Action There Is An Equal & Opposite Criticism
For Every Action There Is An Equal & Opposite Malfunction
For Every Action There Is An Equal & Opposite Reaction
For Every Advantage There Is A Corresponding Disadvantage
For Every Credibility Gap There Is A Gullibility Fill
For Every Disadvantage There Is A Corresponding Advantage
For Every Man There's A Bait He Can't Resist Swallowing [Friedrich Nietzsche]
For Every Minute You Are Angry, You Lose 60 Seconds Of Happiness [Ralph Waldo Emerson]
For Every Problem There Is A Solution That's Simple, Neat & Wrong [H.L. Mencken]
For Every Proverb That Adds Wisdom Another Contradicts It
For Every Vengeance There Is An Equal & Opposite Revengeance
For Every Woman With A Curve, There Are Several Men With Angles
For Every Woman With The Curse, There Are Several Men With Angles Waiting
For Everyone With A Spark Of Genius, Therere Hundreds With Ignition Trouble
For Good Return Good, For Evil Return Justice
171

For G-d Sake If Youre In It Up To Your Neck Dont Sing

For G-ds Sake, Shut Up!
For Mash Get Smash [Cadbury's Smash]
For My Peace Of Mind, Ill Give You A Piece Of My Mind
For Now, There's No End Insight [Dallas Morning News]
For Of Those To Whom Much Is Given, Much Is Required [John F. Kennedy]
For Rice Cake [For Christ's Sake]
For Sale: 1 Man, 7 Woman Hot Tub, Call 555-2583 Like New!
For Sale By Owner Signs Around Norfolk Naval Shipyard Read For Owning By Sailor
For Something To Become Clean, Something Else Must Become Dirty
For Something To Become Dirty, Something Else Need Not Become Clean
For Sure No
For Sure Not
For The Smallest Favor You Become A Debtor
For The Triumph Of Evil, Good Men Need Only To Do Nothing [Edmund Burke]
For Those Who Like Peace & Quiet A 'Phoneless Cord' Is Recommended
For Want Of A Nail The Shoe Was Lost
For Want Of A Shoe The Warhorse Was Lost
For Want Of A Warhorse The Kingdom Was Lost
For Whatever You Are Doing CEO, You Can Be Booked [Robert D Sprecht - Rand Corp]
For You Time Will Always Wait [Red 'Hide']
For Your Childrens Sake You Would Tear The World Apart
For Your Information, Just Answer Me One Question! [Samuel Goldwyn]
Forbidden Is Unspeakably Desirable [Mark Twain]
Forced Choice
Forced Confessions
Forced Normalization
Ford Backronyms: 'Fix Or Repair Daily' & 'Found On Road, Dead'
Ford Contour Sales Slow To Accelerate [GM International Newsline]
Ford Is Unveiling New Car With Entirely Plastic Body, Called The Cher!
Ford Is Unveiling The Chaz Also, Started As Internal Combustion & Converted To Plug-In
Ford Pinto With Firestone 500 Tires, Double The Recall Value
Foreign Aid, Transfer From Poor People In Rich Countries To Rich People In Poor Countries
Foreign Domestics
Foreign Legion
Foreign National
Foreign Policy Continuity
Foreign Policy Disconnect
Foreplay
Forever & A Day
Forever Anything
Forever Free
Forever Man
Forever's End
Forewarned Is Forearmed
Forewarned Is Forearmed, But Isn't 4 An Odd Number Of Arms For A Man?
172

Forewarned Is Forearmed, Thanks To Vishnu The Four-Armed Supreme Vaishnavite God

Forget Health Food, I Need All The Preservatives I Can Get
Forget Love, I'd Rather Fall In Chocolate [Sandra J. Dykes]
Forget The Health Food, I Need All The Preservatives I Can Get
Forget The Joneses, I Keep Us Up With The Simpsons [Bumper Sticker]
Forget To Do Major Tasks Now & They'll Remind You Later
Forget To Do Minor Tasks Now & You'll Forget Altogether
Forgetful Elephant
Forgetful Joggist Always Ran With His Laptop To Jog His Memory
Forgetful Woman Who Answers Door In Nightie Is Negligent
Forgive & Forget
Forgive & Forget, But Keep A List!
Forgive Me Father I Have Sinned - 'That's Putting It Mildly 007' [Q To 007]
Forgive Our Enemies, But Only After They Have Been Hanged First [Heinrich Heine]
Forgive Your Enemies, But Never Forget Their Names [JFK]
Forgiveness Is Cheaper Than A Lawsuit, But Not Nearly As Gratifying
Forgotten Memories
Form Blazing Sword! [Voltron]
Form Over Substance
Formal Flip-Flops
Former Cop Shooter Had Stopped Shooting Cops [Monk]
Former Cop Shooter Shot A Former Cop [Monk]
Former Native
Former President-For-Life
Former President-For-Life Baby Doc [Haiti]
Former Terrorist
Formulation Of A Problem Is Far More Essential Than Its Solution [Albert Einstein]
Forms Are Filled In By Being Filled Out
Forms Follow Function & Often Obliterates It
Forth Programming Language
Forth Programming Language Came In Fourth
Fort Knox Self Storage [Baltimore, Md]
Fortunate Is The Man Who Has A Happy Old Age
Fortunately Unfortunate
Fortune Comes To Those Who Smile [Japanese Proverb]
Fortune Does Not Change Men, It Unmasks Them [Suzanne Necker]
Fortune Favors The Brave
Fortune Favors The Prepared Mind [Louis Pasteur 1822-95]
Fortune Favors The Fortunate
Fortune Favors Those Who Have Taken Their Fortune Into Their Own Hand
Fortune Knocks But Once, But Misfortune Has Much More Patience [Dr. Laurence J. Peter]
Fortune, Not Wisdom, Rules Our Lives
Forty Is The Old Age Of Youth, Fifty The Youth Of Old Age [Victor Hugo]
Forty Winks
Forward Back
Forward Backwards
173

Forward Lateral [Football]

Fought The Law & The Law Won
Fought The Lawn & The Lawn Won
Found Money Is Tainted, It 'Taint Yours, & It 'Taint Mine
Found Missing
Found Things Are Always Found In The Last Place Looked, Obviously!
Four Martini Lunch
Four Seasons Are Salt, Pepper, Mustard & Vinegar
Four-Words That Just Don't Exist: Always, Free, Never & Perfect
Four-Words To Failure: Hired, Tired, Mired, Fired!
Four Word Novel: Fraternity, Maternity; Matrimony, Alimony
Fourskin Clothing Store [Singapore Chain]
Fourth Estate [Press]
Fox News
Foxes Guarding Foxes [Bush II Administration]
Foxy Bird
Foxymoron News
Frac In Italian, French & Spanish, Frack In German, Fraque In Portuguese & Tailcoat In English
Frac Job Or Frack Job Is Hydraulic Fracturing Of Rock Layers To Release Oil & Natural Gas
Frack & Frak, Not A Frakking Frick & Frack, But As Exposed Below
Frack & Frak Used As Expletives, Frack In Old & Frak In New Battlestar Galactica Series
*Frack Changed To Frak In New Battlestar Galactica Series To Make It A Four-Letter Word
*Frack!, Holy Frack! & Oh, Frack! Appears Seventeen Times In Original Battlestar Galactica
*Frak!, A Good Frak, You Miserable Frak, Motherfrakker! [ New B. G.]
*Frak: I dont Want To Fight Sam, I Want To Frak! [New Battlestar Galactica 4.3]
*Frak: Shut The Frak Up! [Fairly Legal S02E09]
*Frak The Frakking Frakkers, What A Clusterfrak, Pity Frak Now OK? [New B. G.]
*Frak: What The Frak? [New Battlestar Galactica, Eureka, Warehouse 13, Fairly Legal, Etc.]
*Frak: What The Frak? Frakking Replacing F*cking! How Will Prudery & Humanity Survive?
*Frakking Crazy Idiot! Frakking Dualla, Get Your Motherfrakking Hands Off Me! [New B. G.]
*Frakking: Tonight Im Frakking You [Internet Song]
Frack, German For Tailcoat, Battlestar Galacticese For Uncoating &Tipping Tail
Frack Job Or Frac Job Is Hydraulic Fracturing Of Rock Layer To Release Oil & Natural Gas
Fracking, Fracing Or Hydrofracking Is How A Frack Job Or Frac Job Is Climaxed!
Fracking, Is It All That Its Cracked Up To Be? [Expletive Implied]
Fracking, Is It All That Its Cracked Up To Be? [Natural Gas]
Fracking Jokester Fractured Me
Fracking Job, You Can Take It & Shove It!
Fracking Job, You Can Take It & Shove It! & Shove It! & Shove It!
Fracking Protest Song By Sean Lennon, Yoko Ono & Jimmy Fallon
*Don't Frack My Mother [Mother Earth/MotherYoko]
*Don't Frack My Mother, Cause I Don't Have No Other [Sean Lennon]
*Dont Frack Me! [Yoko Ono]
*People Don't Care What Their Fracking Today [Jimmy Fallon]
*They'll Frack Anything That Gets In Their Way
*When Their Done Fracking They'll Frack Something Else
174

*Go Frack Yourself

*Please, Keep Those [Fracking] Drills Inside Your Pants [Sean Lennon]
Fracking Starts With Cracking Impediments To The Goal [Hymenius Gasius]
Fracking Starts With Cracking Impediments To The Goal, Be Them Animal Or Mineral
Fracking Tax, Either A Tax On Fracking Or An Abhorrent Tax Or Both!
Fractured Atlas, Non-Curatorial Non-Profit To 'Liberate The Artist'
Fractured Fairy Tales, Traditional Tales Gone Astray
Fractured Prune - The Donut Shoppe You Create 'Em' - We Make 'Em'
Fractured Prunella, Brittle Septuagenarian Ping-Pong Champion [Prunella Shriek, Circa 1895]
Fragile Do Not Drop - Sent On UA Flight 93, Dropped Off Near Shanksville, PA [9/11/01]
Fragrant Brothel
Fragrant Harbor
Fragrant Loo
Frail Ail & Fail
Frail Fail
Frail Humanity
Frail Who Drink Ale, Sail Or Ride Rail, Pale, Turn Tail, Puke In Pail, Ail & Fail
Frak Fracking!, Vermont Says, Banning It! [For More About Frak & Frakking See Frack]
France Is Where The Money Falls Apart, But You Can't Tear The Toilet Paper [Billy Wilder]
Frances E Is For hEr; Francis I Is For hIm
Frances[Fran-siss] Latin Meaning From France, Feminine Spelling Of Francis
Francis [Fran-sis] Latin Meaning Frenchman; Free Man
Francis Bean Cobain Is Off & On The Reputed Name Of Courtney Love's Daughter Frances
Francis Bean Cobain - My Mother [kooksmcgee] Should Be Banned From Twitter [stereotudes]
Francis I, 1st Female Pope? No, 1st Non-European In 1000 Years & 1st Jesuit
Frank Lloyd Wrights Mansion Falling Water Is Falling Into The Water!
Frankensteak, Filet Pieced Together From Beef Scraps & Meat Glue (Transglutaminase)
Frankensteak Meets Pink Slime, Object Unholy MALtromony
Frankfurter
Frankfurter Frankly Has Nothing To Do With A Footer Named Frank
Frankly, My Beer, I Don't Give A Dram [Poster]
Frankly, My Dear, I Don't Give A Damn [Gone With The Wind, 1939]
Frankly, My Queer, I Don't Give A Damn [Poster]
Fraternal Brothers
Fraternal Organizations Dont Blackball Unknown Petitioners, Only Those Who Are Known
Fraternal Twins
Frazier [Bush II For Diane Feinstein, Democratic Senator, California]
Freakasaurus
Freckled Are Fickle
Freckles Make A Face Interesting, Breasts Tantalizing & A Butt Speckled
Fred & Wilma Flintstone, For Real, Were First To Share A Bed On TV
Fred Astaire Can't Act, Can't Sing, Balding ... Can Dance A Little [MGM Talent Scout 1928]
Freddo [Bush II For Fred Upton, Republican Congressman From Michigan]
Freddy Boy [Bush II For Fred Upton, Republican Congressman From Michigan]
Fredo [Bush II For Attorney General Alberto Gonzales]
Free Advice Is Worth What You Paid For It
175

Free Agent
Free Behind Prison Bars
Free Clinic In Detroit Charges Just $20 To See A Doctor
Free Competition Enforced By Law Is A Grotesque Contradiction In Terms [Ayn Rand]
Free Competition Regulated By The Rules Of The Game Prevents Grotesque Consequences
Free Directory
Free Election
Free Electricity
Free Fall
Free Fish & Men Have Kept Their Mouths Shut
Free Forever For A Limited Time
Free Freon Pickup
Free Gift
Free Gift Are Not Special, All Gifts Are Free
Free In A Cage
Free Just Pay Shipping & Handling
Free Loan
Free Love
Free Love Is Too Expensive [Bernadette Devlin]
Free Market
Free Market Economy
Free-Market Planning
Free Of Her Lips, Free Of Her Hips [English]
Free Press
Free Prisoner
Free Purchase
Free Rent
Free Restraint
Free Safety [Football]
Free Silver Shriekers Striving To Tumble US Over Fiscal Precipice [Chicago Tribune, 1893]
Free Society
Free Society Is One Where It Is Safe To Be Unpopular [Adlai Stevenson]
Free Space
Free Speech Carries With It Some Freedom To Listen [Bob Marley]
Free The Indy 500
Free Trade
Free Trade Agreement
Free Verse
Free Verse Is Like Free Love, It Is A Contradiction In Terms [G. K. Chesterton]
Free Will
Free Will Donation Required
Free Will Offering Required
Free Will Tends To Encourage Imitation
Free With Purchase
Freebies Honey, Not Free Bees
Freebies Honey, Not Free Bees! But Honey Do I Then Hold Them Captive Or Pay For Them!
176

Freebies Honey, Not Free Bees With All Those Honey Freebies, That Free Honey, Honey
Freecyclers Recycle Reclaimable Wrecked Cycles Instead Of Relegating them To Refuse Heap
Freedom Bonds
Freedom Bonds Diverse Populations
Freedom Fighter
Freedom Is Doing What You Know Is Right Without Fear
Freedom Is Not Free
Freedom Is Nothing But A Chance To Be Better [Albert Camus]
Freedom Is Slavery [George Orwell 1984]
Freedom Is The Freedom Not To Say That Two Plus Two Make Five [1984 Paraphrase]
Freedom Is The Freedom To Say That Two Plus Two Make Four [1984]
Freedom Is The Right To Be Wrong, Not The Right To Do Wrong
Freedom Lies In Being Bold
Freedom Loan
Freedom Mortgage
Freedom Of Speech
Freedom Of Speech Is Wonderful, Right Up There With The Freedom Not To Listen
Freedom Of The Press Means No-Iron Clothes
Freedom Of Speech Is As Good As Sex! [Madonna]
Freedoms Just Another Word For Nothin Left To Lose [Kris Kristofferson]
Freedom's Just Another Word For People Finding Out Youre Useless [Wally]
Freeload
Freeway Access
Freeway Tolls
Freewill
Freewill Baptist Church
Freewill Donation
Freewill Offering
Freeze Dried
Freeze Dry
Freeze Frame Action
Freeze Romneys Primary Positions In Amber, Thats Right?
Freeze! This Is Miami Vice!
Freezer Burn
French Are Not Rude, They Just Happen To Hate You [Dave Barry]
French Canadian
French Confuse The Sexes, Their Women Dont Shave & Their Men Carry Purses
French Deodorant
French-Fried Potatoes Are Out Whatever The Diet [Jean Kerr]
French Fries Aren't French & English Muffins Aren't English
French Fries Key Element Of English Fish & Chips, Further Chipping Away At Francophilia
French Kitchen Explosion Resulted In Linoleum Blownapart
French Mafia
French Police Suspect Nudist Site Has Something To Hide [AFP]
French Resistance
French Riviera Is A Sunny Place For Shady People[Somerset Maugham]
177

French Womens Shaving Cream

Frenemy
Frenemy Literati
Frequent Filers - Litigious Inmates
Frequent Filers - Over-Exuberant IRS Fans
Frequent Flyers - Flyers Awarded Free Boarding Passes, Hopefully To Go Abroad Frequently
Frequent Flyers - Incessant Barrage Of Advertising Broadsides
Fresh Air
Fresh Cheese
Fresh Corpse
Fresh Dried Fruit
Fresh Exhaust
Fresh Fish
Fresh From Concentrate
Fresh Frozen
Fresh Frozen Fish
Fresh-Frozen Jumbo Shrimp
Fresh Frozen Meat
Fresh Guy
Fresh Prunes
Fresh Raisins
Fresh Smelt
Fresh Sour Cream
Fresh Water Clam
Fresh Yogurt
Freshened Cattle
Fresno Vacation
Freudian Slip Is When You Say One Thing But Really Mean Your Mother
Frick & Frack - Ice Follies Comedy Ice Skaters [Circa 1937]
Frick & Frack - NPR Car Talk Hosts Tom & Ray
Frick & Frack - Time Wasting, Lazy, & Incompetent Employees
Fried Ice Cream
Fried Roast
Friend Is A Person Who Knows Everything About You & Still Likes You
Friend In Deed Sees First Tear, Catches Second & Stops Third
Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed [Your Need]
Friend In Need Is A Friend To Be Avoided [His Need - Lord Samuel]
Friend In Need Is A Pain In The Ass
Friend In Need Is A Pest Indeed
Friend In Need Is A Pest Indeed, Except When You Need Him!
Friend Is One Who Knows Us, But Loves Us Anyway [Fr. Jerome Cummings]
Friend Is Someone Who Gives You Total Freedom To Be Yourself [Jim Morrison]
Friend Is Someone Who Has The Same Enemies You Have [Abraham Lincoln]
Friend Is Someone Who Thinks You're A Good Egg Even Though You're Slightly Cracked
Friend Is That Man Who Knows All About You & Still Likes You [Elbert Hubbard]
Friend Of The Court
178

Friend Thinks You're A Good Egg Even Though You're Slightly Cracked
Friend Who Reveals Your Secret Is Only Doing To You What You Did To Yourself
Friendly Advice
Friendly Advocate
Friendly Animosity
Friendly Argument
Friendly Competition
Friendly Competitor
Friendly Confrontation
Friendly Divorce
Friendly Enemy
Friendly Fight
Friendly Fire
Friendly Fire Ain't
Friendly Fire - Isnt!
Friendly Foreclosure
Friendly Forests Fire
Friendly Game Of Poker
Friendly Legal Suit
Friendly Marriage
Friendly Rocket Death
Friendly Suit
Friendly Takeover
Friendly War
Friendly Xenophobe
Friends & Bras Are Close To Your Heart & Give Support
Friends Are God's Apology For Relatives [Hugh Kingsmill]
Friends Are Like Condoms, They Protect You When Things Get Hard
Friends Are So Alarming, My Lover's Never Charming [Rolling Stones]
Friends Are Nothing But A Known Enemy [Kurt Cobain]
Friends Are Presents You Give Yourself [Robert Louis Stevenson]
Friends Are Those Rare People Who Ask 'How We Are?' & Then Wait To Hear The Answer
Friends Listen To What You Say & Best Friends Listen To What You Don't Say
Friends May Come & Go, But Enemies Faithfully Accumulate [Thomas Jones]
Friends Of The Earth Think Globally, Act Locally
Friends With Advantages
Friends With Benefits
Friends With Benefits Benefit From Swapping With Swingle & Swinging Single?
Friends With Privileges
Friendship, Friendship, Just A Perfect Blendship
Friendship, Friendship, When Other Friendships Have Been Forgot Ours Will Still Be Hot
Friendship Is Like Money, Easier Made Than Kept
Friendship Is Like Peeing On Yourself, All Can See It But Only You Get Warm Feeling
Friendship Is Like Vitamins, It Supplements Your Minimum Daily Requirements
Friendship Is Stronger Than Kinship
Frienemy
179

Friggatriskaidekaphobia & Paraskavedekatriaphobia - Fear Of Friday The 13th (& Freddy?)

Frigging Virgin
Fright Night
Frighten Away
Frighten Off
Frightened By Bald-Headed Mouse
Fringe Where Two Dimensions Collide On Fox
Frisbee Victim: Wondered Why It Was Getting Bigger & Bigger
Frisky Cop Copped A Feel As He Frisked Her
Frisky Filly: Wondered Why It Was Getting Bigger & Bigger
Frisson Of Surprise
Fritz, A German [From Friedrich Or Frederick]
Frog Blast The Vent Core! [Marathon 2 Bungie Game]
Frog Parking Only - All Others Will Be Toad [Posted At Cyprus Slough Preserve, Florida]
Frog, The French For Eating Frogs' Legs, Or Previously The Dutch For Being Marsh-Dwellers
Frog Parking Only - All Others Will Be Toad
Frogs Don't Remember They Once Had More Tail Than They Could Handle
Frogs Dont Remember They Once Were Tadpoles
From An Old Maid You Get A Faithful Wife
From Bad To Total Shit Storm [Zombieland]
From Big Bang Up To The Present Day & Into The Unforeseeable Future [Rock Band Queen]
From Fortune To Misfortune Is A Short Step, From Misfortune To Fortune Is A Long Way
From One Ox You Cant Skin Two Hides [Oxy says: Skinning Oxen Is Very, Very Schlecht!]
From Over-Chlorinated Gene Pool You Sprung
From Overeating One Suffers More Than From Not Eating Enough
From Peaceful Minds Do Great Ideas Flow [Neal Donald Walsch]
From The Bottom Of My Heart
From The Errors Of Others, A Wise Man Corrects His Own [Publilius Syrus]
From The Sublime To The Ridiculous
From The Sublime To The Ridiculous Is But One Step [Napolon Bonaparte]
From There To Here & Here To There Funny Things Are Everywhere [Dr. Seuss]
From Whence Came The Origin & Beauty We Perceive In This World? [Isaac Newton]
From Your Mouth To Gods Ears [Fun Dayn Moyl In Gots Oyern]
Front End
Front Porch Campaigner [Benjamin Harrison]
Frozen Food
Frozen Hell
Frozen Hot Chocolate
Frozen Waterfall
Frugal Gourmet
Fruit Does Not Fall Far From The Tree
Fruit From A Poisonous Tree
Fruit Salad
Fruitcake
Fruitwater, Coca-Cola's April Fools Day Fruit-Less Fruit-Flavored Seltzer [No Joke - Glaceau]
Frustration My Be Disagreeable, But Getting What You Want May Be More Disagreeable
180

Frying Squirrel Blamed For Sunday Power Outage [Muskegon Chronicle]

FTL [Faster Than Light]
FTL Neutrino Reported By CERN [European Center for Particle Physics]
FTL Neutrino Raises Relative Con-CERN Over Einstein's Theory Of Relativity
Fu King Chinese Restaurant [Lake City, Florida]
F-ck It! Stop Having Sex Without Me!
Fucking, Austria [48' 03"N 13' 51"E]
Fucking Hell Ale & Ficken Schnapps Trademarked In EU/Germany
Fuddled Were Most Befuddled By Pittsburgh Drink Tax, Was It To Defuddle Them?
Fuddled Whined Till Tom Corbett, Space Cadet, Abolished Tax & Refuddled Them
Fuku-Sushi Restaurant [San Francisco, California]
Full Bellied Person Does Not Understand The Needs Of The Hungry
Full Blank Slate
Full Court Peace [Irish Catholic/Protestant Basketball]
Full Degree
Full Effort Is Full Victory [Mohandas Gandhi]
Full Figured
Full Figured Bikini
Full Force & Effect
Full Half
Full-Length Bikini
Full Monty [All Of It]
Full Monty [Full Male Package]
Full Monty Performance Was Limp!
Full Of Piss & Vinegar
Full Service
Full-Service Bank
Full Service Snack Bar
Full Size
Full Space
Full Stop
Full Time Day Care
Full-Time Folk Singer
Full-Time Hobby
Full Vacuum
Fully Empty
Fully Recovered After Bout With Upholstery Machine
Fumblerule [William Safire]
Fun Is Good [Dr. Seuss]
Fun Run
Function Of Wisdom Is To Discriminate Between Good & Evil [Cicero]
Functional Illiterate
Functioning Alcoholic
Funeral Home Driveway: 'Drive Carefully. We'd Rather Wait'
Funeral Home Head Finds Live Body [AP]
Funky White Guy
181

Funnies Are Also Known As Comic Books, Strips (Cartoon & Comic), Comics & Comix
Funnies Are Defined By Oxford Dictionaries As Drawings 'That Tell An Amusing Story'
Funnies Include Such Strips As Deadworld, Hellspawn, Night Mary, Scary Tales & Scream!
Funnies Thus Aren't All So Funny Or Comic, Are They? One Is Even Called 'The Unfunnies'
Funny Business
Funny Clean Joke
Funny, I Don't Remember Being Absent Minded
Funny Insult
Funny Money
Funny, She Doesn't LOOK Druish [Spaceballs, 1987]
Furries, Fans Of Anthropomorphic Animals Who May Dress As Such Humanized Animals
Furries Hold World's Largest Furry Convention, The Anthrocon, Annually In Pittsburgh, PA
Futile To Do With More Things That Which Can Be Done With Fewer
Future Aint What It Used To Be [Paul Valery]
Future Antique
Future Children
Future Classic [1987-1991 Volvo 780 Coupe]
Future Classic [Sydney, Australia Record Label]
Future Comes One Day At A Time [Dean Acheson]
Future Date
Future Fossil
Future Headache
Future Headlines
Future History
Future Implications [IronHerder]
Future Is Not Something We Enter, It 'Is Something We Create' [Leonard I. Sweet]
Future Is Now!
Future Is Today
Future Legends
Future News
Future Nostalgia
Future Shock [Alvin Toffler]
Future Will Be Better Tomorrow [Dan Quayle]
Fuzzy Fizzog
Fuzzy Fuzzs Fuzzy Bust Fizzled
Fuzzy Logic
Fuzzy Math [George W. Bush]
Fuzzy-Wuzzy, A 19th Century Hadendoa Warrior Of The Sudan, Egypt Or Eritrea
Fuzzy Wuzzy Nabbed By Fuzz For Indecent Exposure & Unbearable Demeanor
*Fuzzy Wuzzy Was A Bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy Had No Hair
*Fuzzy Wuzzy Wasnt Fuzzy, Was He?
*Fuzzy Wuzzy, The Hairless Bare Bear
*Fuzzy Wuzzy Grew A Nosey Hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy Was Only Barely Bare
*Fuzzy Wuzzy Wasnt Fuzzy Wuzzy, Was He?
*Fuzzy Wuzzy, The Barely Bare Bear
*Fuzzy Wuzzy He Did So Care, He Got Himself Some Narey Nair
182

*Fuzzy Wuzzy Again Was Fuzzy Wuzzy, Wasnt He?

*Fuzzy Wuzzy, The Bare Bear With Nary A Nose Hair
Fuzzy Wuzzy Was A Bushy Mathematician
Fuzzy Wuzzy Wasnt There!

183

For More Graphics See End of Volume 3 of 3

& Oxys Pictorial Oxymania Series

OXY Continues Slurping In Volume 2 of 3 (G-N)

http://www.scribd.com/doc/94637818/Morons-Guide-to-Oxymorons-G-N-Vol-2-as-told-by-Oxy-to-Barry-J-Lipson

& Volume 3 of 3 (O-Z)

http://www.scribd.com/doc/94621714/Morons-Guide-to-Oxymorons-O-Z-Vol-3-as-told-by-Oxy-to-Barry-J-Lipson

*See Morons' Oxymoronic Guide To & For The Birds, as told by Oxy to Barry J. Lipson
http://www.scribd.com/doc/38610196/Morons-Oxymoronic-Guide-To-And-For-The-BIRDS-as-told-byOxy-to-Barry-J-Lipson-Addendum-To-Morons-Guide-To-Oxymorons
184