To what extent is there a correlation between parenting styles and delayed

gratification?
As I was growing up I never really got everything I wanted. My parents
wanted to teach discipline and delayed gratification at an early age so when I grew
up, I knew that if I waited for something, I would get something even better; that I
would feel better knowing I waited for something instead of getting it in the
moment. I noticed, as I got older, that my brother reacts differently than my sister
and me when he is told to wait for something he really wants. He will go out of his
way, waste his money, and get whatever it is his heart desires at the moment, even if
it will not benefit him in the long run. If my parents say that my sister and I cannot
have something, we know it is for the best and something better will eventually
come along. I also noticed that my parents raised my brother, sister, and me
different from one another, which shaped who we are now.
I am starting to think that delayed gratification is closely tied with parenting
styles. A lot of kids are not brought up with the idea of delayed gratification so
understanding that concept may be tough the older they get. For everyone to have a
basis on what it is, delayed gratification is to ability to postpone immediate
gratification and persist in goal directed behavior for the sake of later outcomes
(Mischel et al, 1989, p. 933). The idea of postponing gratification may be taught from
childhood and redirected into adolescence and adulthood. This may be why some
people become frustrated when they do not get what they want when they want.
To put the theory that parenting styles affects a persons ability to delay
gratification I decided to recreate the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, except
with teenage students and the incentive being Skittles. I also asked the students to
fill out an anonymous survey following the experiment to get a better understanding
of who the participant was. I asked questions such as the participants race, gender,
which one of the three parenting styles of Diana Baumrind they felt they were raised
in, as well as their interest in participating in the experiment. My sample size was
18, which is not large enough to make generalizations about an entire population.
However, I can make generalizations through my experiment. Only 3 students ate
their skittles without waiting, and it did not have to do with their gender, culture, or
parenting styles but rather their interest in participating in the experiment.
Researching more into how closely correlated parenting styles and delayed
gratification is, the idea of what factors determine why parents act differently with
certain children is important. The idea of sex differences and culture are important
to consider when determining why certain parenting styles are used with certain
children. Boys tend to have less self control, therefore they have a low ability to
delay gratification whereas girls have higher self control and a higher ability to
delay gratification (Finkenauer, Engels, Baumeister, 2005, p. 60). This ties in with
the stereotype that boys are more aggressive than girls, that if they are not given
what they want they will react in a more aggressive and forceful manner than
compared to females. As boys grow older they will become more aggressive and
show more acts of violence because it satisfies their immediate gratification rather
than delayed gratification.

Baumrind claims the most successful parenting style is an authoritative

parents who have a balance between setting their childs limits but also being
nurturing and responsive to their needs (Hay, 2001, p. 712). Baumrind theorizes
that setting limits and emphasizing the importance of discipline, which is carried out
through authoritative parenting is successful for a child to understand the
importance of delayed gratification. But it is important to understand that parenting
styles itself are not what drive a person to understanding delayed gratification. The
social psychology of parenting styles carried out is another factor which Baumrind
theorizes drives parenting styles, thus driving delayed gratification (Hay, 2001, p.
712).