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From these scores, we are able to see how students attempt at FOCUS on the smaller scale has
improved through their tests scores. Their essay scores, however, indicate that their FOCUS has not
improved since the beginning of the year. Because the compare/contrast essays were graded using the
same assessment rubric for FOCUS as the Thompson School District Assessment Guidelines used at the
beginning of the year, the consistency of expectation allows us an unbiased view of FOCUS outcomes.
Students test scores, for the most part, show good work and understanding with the text, Arthur
Millers The Crucible. Three out of the five students scored a perfect 15/15 on the short answer
question, while the other two both respectively receiving solid scores of 12/15 and 13/15. The short
answer questions were not completely graded on FOCUS, but rather students ability to answer the
question accurately by showing an understanding of the text. These scores show us, though, that
students are not struggling with understanding and interpreting the text, but rather on longer essays
they struggle with staying on topic and fully answering the question. Students scores were as we
predicted; students sitting in the back corner of the room as a scored lower on all parts of the data we
collected (1s on FOCUS, C and D on the test and B on short answer), while students sitting in other parts
of the room (front and sides) scored higher (2s on FOCUS, As on the test and short answer).
This data shows us that students sitting in the back corner of the room may not just have trouble with
the FOCUS aspect in their essay, but also the class as whole. As noted earlier, however, several of these
students have IEPs or 504s, and all of them sit next to or in close proximity to each other. Often, it is
difficult to have these students stay focused on the lesson, not be disrespectful or distracting to other
students, and stay on task when given in-class work time. Through this analysis we can infer that
although the class as a whole struggles with the FOCUS component of their essays, students who have
chosen to sit in the back corner of the room struggle the most not only with their essays but other
graded assignments as well.
By moving students around and reorganizing the seating arrangements within the class, we could
determine if overall scores and overall grades improve in addition to FOCUS. After switching seats, we
could gauge test scores and interactions with textual materials to determine if the seating change has
aided struggling students in grasping concepts with lack of distractions.
Teaching Strategies:
Students continue to struggle with FOCUS, even two months after the district pre-assessment, as
indicated by the lack of improvement in component scores. While tools have been implemented, such
as nicely structured outline graphic organizers, the tools are ineffective when not introduced and
modeled properly. With this specific group of students, modeling is essential to their understanding of
new techniques. By giving their work purpose, students are able to determine how to use the tools
properly. One of the issues that we observed was that students filled out the graphic organizer with a
thesis, main body points, and pre-selected citation examples, but were unable to follow through on the
actual composition. This tells us that students need more attention paid to the writing process itself.
This includes self-assessment of drafts at various stages. In regards to modeling, we would go through
the process as a class and create an entire piece of writing together. This would illustrate the process as
well as the outcome. With the number of visual learners we have in class, it would be instrumental in
their success for them to see the process in full. Students could complete a compass points activity to
determine which part of the writing process they are struggling with the most. The compass points
groups could then complete activities that allow them to practice and engage with that stage of writing
and present their overall findings to the class. Students will be assessed on the FOCUS objective to
determine their progress with this area.
Another strategy that we would use would include introducing transitions. If students are able to make
smooth transitions to new paragraphs, they are more likely to stay focused on the topic. Learning the
tools of format writing such as thesis, are crucial to guiding a papers FOCUS. Because these students
struggle with composing from their outlines into body paragraphs, I would include transitions and topic
sentences. Each item that students are able to identify and examine for relevant content FOCUS, the
more likely students are to compose something that answers the prompt and compliments the
controlling idea as stated in the learning target. We would scaffold learning to track progress. Initially,
we would work as a class with sample paragraphs and build transitions to meet FOCUS objectives.
Students would then re-work their previous essays, focusing on revisions to their transitions. Students
will self-assess their FOCUS to see if it has improved with new transitions. Students would be given the
opportunity to revise their essays after adding smooth transitions to see if their FOCUS improves with
better transitions and organization of thoughts.
It would also be beneficial to incorporate individual conferences into the writing process. The score of
FOCUS is given as a whole, but each student is struggling in different areas. Some students have really
strong introductions and lose their focus in their body paragraphs or textual citations. Other students
have a clear FOCUS in the argument but are lacking in introduction and conclusion. Brief conferences
would allow feedback to be given to students before the final paper is due so students are able to work
on their weaker points while receiving individualized instruction. A majority of the students are able to
better articulate their thoughts and ideas when they are prompted with additional questions.
Sometimes that deeper inquiry is what allows them to determine how to properly state what they mean
as opposed to losing FOCUS or being redundant. These would take place during the writing and revision
processes. Their final draft of written work would be assessed to determine if FOCUS has improved.
Another strategy that would be helpful to students would be a stronger peer review and revision
process. Although the feedback from the last time we attempted to do a peer review was mostly
indifferent, there can still be great benefit to this process. By having other peers review your work, not
only does it hold the writer responsible for creating something that their peers can look at, but it also
forces the reviewer to read their peers essay in a critical way. This gives the writer a chance for
someone else to look over their work, but it also allows for the reviewer to reflect back on their own
work based off things they notice within their peers. As noted above, many students in our class are
visual learners and need structure to complete tasks, so doing a peer review as a class, allowing us to
model for them, would be beneficial in giving more structure to students thinking in the peer review
process.